Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s always like this – Donghyuck’s shaky hands pick up the phone and Mark’s voice cuts through the line after the second ring.

Donghyuck would think that after all this time Mark would get better at hiding his desperation, the heat pooling in his stomach, the ache at the depths of his chest, the longing of cherry flavored chapstick on his tongue. But Mark’s never been good at pretending (not like Donghyuck).

It’s quite satisfying, Donghyuck thinks, to have Mark wrapped around his little finger, moving with a flick of his wrist; quite satisfying to have Mark’s fist wrapped around his cock and his hips thrusting into him in deep movements. 

But a string binds both ends to which it is attached to, and that’s something Donghyuck should’ve thought of before he spread his legs for someone who was never supposed to see, nor feel him like this.

Head down, hips up – that’s how Donghyuck wants it, needs it.

Mark’s hands holding him up by the hips, his mouth moving along the curve of Donghyuck’s bare shoulder – biting, sucking, licking – that’s not part of it, never should’ve been; but Donghyuck’s mind is too clouded, eyes screwed shut and lips parted in a silent moan, so he doesn’t tell Mark to stop hoping for a future other than one that will involve Donghyuck getting out of his bed on shaky legs and eyes still barely focused on his surroundings in a sudden surge of regret and something else entirely.

“Faster,” Donghyuck grunts and shoves his face into the pillow when Mark angles the next thrust just a little bit upwards, hitting the spot that makes white flash behind Donghyuck’s eyes, and his knees nearly give out under his weight.

“Fuck, I’m close.” Mark groans above him, voice hoarse, and Donghyuck’s glad he can’t see him because he’s sure he’d come untouched if he did, with a tingling feeling in his chest, too. Donghyuck can’t have that.

“Me too.” Donghyuck holds his breath and bites his lip as Mark speeds up, grip on his hips growing tighter, doesn’t want to make any noise, can’t make any noise that would let Mark know that Donghyuck dials him through his phone just as quickly as Mark picks up his.

Mark bites at the skin of Donghyuck’s shoulder, lapping the spot up with his tongue as if to ease the ache. Not that Donghyuck can feel anything besides the orgasm slowly building in the pit of his stomach, coil pulled tautly and ready to come apart by Mark’s skilled fingers.

“Come for me,” Mark mutters into his neck.

The coil snaps and Donghyuck cums with a choked sob in Mark’s pillow, Mark himself following right after, hands stilling Donghyuck’s twitching hips and stuttering heart even if he doesn’t know it.

He lays there, on his front, Mark slowly lowering his hips on the bed and pulling out in a way that leaves Donghyuck empty in more ways than one. He stays silent, closes his eyes against the soft bedding, wonders if Mark changed it before Donghyuck came here, right after he called, to make a good impression. They smell nice, clean. The impression Mark left was good enough to last a lifetime anyway, leaving a bitter taste on his tongue whenever Donghyuck tried to find someone else for a quick fuck because no one knew him the way Mark did; not of the spot just below his left ear that was sensitive enough to send jolts of pleasure down his spine whenever as much as a pair of lips brushed against it; not of the angle to thrust into him to make tears well into his eyes and his back arch like a bowstring pulled taut; not of the unspoken rule to never ask him to stay after they were no longer in dire need of each other.

“You okay?” Mark asks, leaning down to rake a gentle hand through Donghyuck’s hair that’s gotten matted to his forehead. He walks a thin line.

Donghyuck watches him with one eye open as the other side of his face remains mushed by the pillow, hums but doesn’t say anything else.

Mark doesn’t either, rolling out of the bed with a sigh and pulling off the used condom. He attempts to throw it in the trashcan by the door but misses, and Donghyuck has to muffle his laugh into the pillow, as he watches Mark's bare ass bend down to pick it up and fling it in the trash to dispose of it properly. He sends a toothy grin over his shoulder, cheeks dusted pink, and Donghyuck has to avert his eyes at the sudden stutter of his heart in his chest.

He's digging his own fucking grave at this point.

Donghyuck pushes himself up from where he's laying and shifts to sit on the edge of the bed. His dick is soft between his legs now, cum staining his stomach, or at least whatever's left of it after he wiped off most of it on Mark's no-longer-clean sheets.

The bed dips behind him and Donghyuck can feel Mark's gaze boring holes in his back, the tips of his ears growing hot and his hands moving to cover his crotch even if it's not visible from Mark's line of vision.

None of them says anything and Donghyuck can't tell if it's for better or worse, the silence growing thick enough to cut through with a knife.

Donghyuck rises to his feet to pick up his scattered clothes. He pulls a shirt over his head first to hide the blush that's certainly managed to creep down to his neck by now even if Donghyuck himself can't see it. He searches for his boxers through the mess on the floor – a combination of both their clothing that they had urgently gotten rid of when Donghyuck set foot in Mark’s apartment.

He ends up finding them halfway under the bed, leaning down to pick them up and finding them stained with precum. It's dried and gross.

Mark seems to catch sight of them because he makes a grimace and shakes his head. "Don't tell me you're wearing those. That's gross, Donghyuck. Even for you."

"Well, sorry for not bringing spare undies to our sleepover. I'll make a mental note not to forget next time."

"Just wear mine."

Donghyuck stares at him.

"Not the dirty ones, Jesus." Mark props himself up on an elbow, dark hair falling into his eyes, and gestures towards the wardrobe by the bed. "My underwear's in the top drawer. Pick whichever you like."

"I'm not wearing your underwear." Donghyuck deadpans.

"You've had my dick in your ass. Wearing a pair of my boxers is the least of your worries, I think." Mark says, and Donghyuck wants to shake him by the shoulders and tell him to wake up because this isn't what two people simply fucking each other do. "You can just bring them back to my place next time."

Next time. Donghyuck obviously knows they're meeting again – he's not that dense despite his friends trying to convince him otherwise. They've done this one too many times to simply know how and when to stop; he can barely last a week without them seeing each other anyway and letting Mark work him open with steady hands and letting all the week's worries ease off his shoulders. Yet, the confirmation of another future meeting fills Donghyuck with giddy excitement comparable to that of a teenager in love. Except he wasn't a teenager, nor was he in love. He was a grown college student who had ditched his composition homework in favor of a quick fuck at the annoying junior’s place.

“Do you so generously offer up your underwear to all of your sexual partners?” Donghyuck cocks an eyebrow but pulls open the top drawer to take out the first pair of boxers he sees. No need to dwell on Mark’s underwear collection any longer than necessary. 

“Only to those who leave right after we fuck.”

Donghyuck stills momentarily, the boxers halfway up his legs. They had both agreed to not treat this as anything more than sex, but the way they had initially started off was a present reminder somewhere at the back of his head. Mark had asked him out after their first two times sleeping together, assuming that’s what their drunken fucking at a bathroom at a party and then sober in the back of Johnny’s jeep was leading to. Donghyuck had to politely reject. He should’ve just stuck with that.

“I’m joking, Jesus. Loosen up, dude. No one’s forcing you to stay.” Mark’s voice cuts through the heavy silence. He laughs at his own words, adding a lightness to his tone.

Donghyuck clears his throat and pulls the boxers rest of the way up, fitting snugly against his hips.

“I have fucking homework due tomorrow.” Donghyuck sighs to change the subject, genuine pain evident in his voice – the raw sort that all college students seemed to harbor and share.

Mark laughs at that, still sitting naked on the bed, and Donghyuck throws his cum-stained underwear at him.

“Ow, fuck you, dude. That’s nasty!” Mark scrunches up his nose and throws the underwear back towards Donghyuck who doesn’t bother catching it, letting the boxers fall at his feet in a pathetic lump.

Donghyuck leaves the dirtied boxers on Mark’s carpeted bedroom floor for him to wash together with his other laundry and puts on the rest of his clothes which, thankfully, require no added effort to find.

The part that follows is always the one Donghyuck dreads the most even before he’s managed to do as much as set foot into Mark’s apartment – mind already plagued by what excuse he’ll come up for leaving each time; though, once this arrangement of theirs morphed into somewhat of a routine, Donghyuck stopped bothering to fill Mark’s pretty head with just as pretty lies.

Mark moves before Donghyuck does, sliding off the bed in a swift and practiced motion, and slipping on the sweatpants he’d been wearing when he opened the door for Donghyuck.

Donghyuck says nothing as he heads into the hallway, the door to Mark’s bedroom open because his roommate was out for the night and Mark apparently got off to the thought of the poor guy walking in on Mark’s fingers knuckle-deep in Donghyuck’s ass or something.

Mark follows him. Obviously. Donghyuck has to fight to not roll his eyes when Mark doesn’t bother putting on a shirt as he sees Donghyuck out of his apartment. 

“How’s your schedule next week?” Mark asks, leaning against the wall by the coating rack as Donghyuck laces up his sneakers.

“Batshit as always.” Donghyuck replies, sparing Mark a glance from where he’s crouched on the floor and sees Mark eye him with an amused sort of look. “But I reckon Friday’s up for grabs as usual.”

Mark hums. “Guess I’ll have to put in my reservation then.”

“Be quick about it,” Donghyuck says as he straightens his body so they’re eye to eye, “someone might take up your spot if you’re too slow.”

Mark says nothing as Donghyuck steps towards the front door, wearing a grin he does a shit job at concealing, mostly because he probably wants Donghyuck to see it – the lack of a verbal response somehow worse in making Donghyuck’s stomach churn than any words could.

“See you Friday then,” Mark says in the doorway, Donghyuck having stepped out into the deserted fourth floor hallway.

“Try not to cream your pants until then.”

“Can’t make any promises.”

“Goodbye, Mark.”

“See you, Hyuck.”

And with that, the door clicks shut and Donghyuck bites at his cheeks to keep a smile from spreading across his face and making him look like an idiot to anyone passing by, and not wanting to risk Mark somehow finding out about it. Knowing the guy, he probably had the building’s cameras bugged and was currently watching Donghyuck wait for the elevator on his living room TV screen in HD or something.

He fishes his phone out of his pocket and pulls up his text messages with Renjun and Jaemin, typing out the standard omw home.

He manages to hit send and barely lock his phone before the screen lights up with a notification from Jaemin as if he’d been waiting for Donghyuck’s text by his phone back at their apartment without blinking at the screen, afraid to miss the notification.

hot reads the first message and then the other one below it:

so when are you bringing him over to introduce us?

Never, Donghyuck types out and hits send before quickly pocketing his phone to step toward the elevator once it dings as the doors slide open, and out of it steps none other than Mark’s roommate. Jaehyun was his name, Donghyuck thinks he recalls that much – a year above Mark because Mark apparently only hung out with the cool seniors, which is why his interest in Donghyuck was even more baffling (to many people in line to sleep with Mark, not just Donghyuck himself).

“Yo,” he says like living with Mark has made him Mark’s carbon copy, or the other way around, eyeing Donghyuck in his disheveled state. “You leaving already?”

“Have stuff to do,” Donghyuck says like his evening isn’t booked by Jaemin jumping on his ass as soon as Donghyuck sets foot into their apartment to interrogate him like in some cheap spy flick, Renjun tucked in the corner of the couch and nodding along to Donghyuck’s reluctant recollection of the previous events like he had any care for anyone’s sex lives.

“A busy man.” Jaehyun whistles like it’s some accomplishment to have a life outside of Mark fucking him into oblivion on the weekends. “Take care, man.” He says and clasps a hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“You too.” Donghyuck tells him and manages to slip into the elevator before the doors shut fully.

*

“Um,” Jaemin says from his place on the couch, legs crossed over one another and arms crossed over his chest, “so care to explain how exactly is he not your boyfriend?”

Donghyuck stares at Jaemin from his seat in the single armchair by the fireplace that sits filled with books and trinkets Jaemin keeps bringing back home from work because they can’t afford firewood to use the thing properly. He feels like at some sort of court hearing, Renjun next to Jaemin with a crossword puzzle in his lap like he’s fifty and one step away from a retirement home.

“He’s not my boyfriend because we’re not dating.” Donghyuck says, already tired of this topic.

Jaemin doesn’t seem to be though, never growing tired of asking Donghyuck questions with the same essence just paraphrased. “But you’re exclusive, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t keep tabs on him. Mark might be sticking his dick into someone else as we speak for all I know.”

“I highly doubt it.” Renjun says for the first, and hopefully last time this evening because Donghyuck can’t stand the way he always knows what exactly to say that will make Donghyuck reevaluate every inch of ground which he stood on with Mark.

“Well, it’s definitely exclusive on your part.” Jaemin says, gesturing loosely toward Donghyuck in the armchair. “Because you’re in love with Mark.”

“Why are you pulling shit out of your ass? I’m not in love with Mark.”

Jaemin laughs at that – a single ha. 

“Like you can spend more than a week without his dick rearranging your insides.”

“I literally didn’t see him for nearly three weeks during exam season last semester.”

“Yeah, and your boner was so huge it barely fit through the doorframe.”

“Fuck you, Jaemin. I can manage without Mark perfectly fine.” 

Jaemin raises his eyebrows, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Really?”

Donghyuck’s ears burn and he still has his stupid essay to type out in the deafening silence of his bedroom. “Yeah, really.” He says, mirroring Jaemin’s arms crossed over his chest. “You think it matters who the dick is attached to?”

“It doesn’t? Fuck me or Renjun then.”

Renjun shoves at Jaemin’s shoulder. “Don’t make this weird.”

“I’m not!” Jaemin raises his hands in defense, looking down at Renjun with his stupid pleading puppy eyes. “He’s clearly lying to save face because he can’t admit that he fucked up by rejecting the hottest guy on all of campus, and now he has to live with the consequences of his self-sabotaging tendencies!”

Donghyuck stands up from the armchair at once, feeling a little silly in his pajama pants and Santa Claus socks despite it not even being November yet.

He points an accusing finger at Jaemin. “You’re jumping me because you’re jealous I actually get laid.”

Jaemin stands up as well, his own finger pointed at Donghyuck. “I am choosing not to have sex with anyone right now. You couldn’t keep away from getting your dick wet for Mark even if you tried.”

“You know what? Let’s make a bet right now.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Three months without Mark.”

Renjun grabs at Jaemin’s sweater sleeve with alarmed eyes. “Don’t do that to us.” He pleads.

“Fine.” Jaemin shifts his gaze from Renjun to Donghyuck. “Two months.”

“Three weeks.”

“Five.”

“A month.”

Jaemin claps his hands, glee evident on his face. 

“Great!” He gasps into the air like a church boy on Christmas. “A month without Mark it is. What glory, what joy!”

“What’s in it for me, though?” Donghyuck asks, eyebrow quirked, and Jaemin stills in his celebrations. “Clearly, you get to make fun of me for a month, but what do I get if I win?”

“If you win? That’s a bad way to start the race, Donghyuck.” Jaemin clicks his tongue.

Donghyuck scoffs, red dusting his cheeks. “You get what I mean.”

Jaemin plops back down onto the couch with a heavy thud and cups his chin in his palm, making a great show of thinking while humming and tapping his foot on the carpet.

“I’ll buy you that Switch game you’ve been wanting.” He says finally, proud of his answer.

“Which one?”

“The one with the Pokemon. The new one.”

“Deal.”

“You guys wanna shake on it or something?” Renjun asks, ever so helpful.

Jaemin gets back up on his feet and extends a hand toward Donghyuck who takes Jaemin’s palm in his and squeezes.

“It’s sealed then,” Jaemin says, pulling back with a toothy grin. “God, you’re going to regret this so badly when your pride comes back to bite you in the ass, and not in the way you like.”

*

As much as Donghyuck dislikes having to admit being wrong, and even less likes to admit that Jaemin is right – he does regret making the stupid bet almost right away.

They’re under the bleachers during Donghyuck’s gap in his schedule – him, Jaemin, and Taeyong – passing a single cigarette around because Donghyuck forgot he’d run out after he smoked his last one on Friday at the bus stop by Mark’s apartment complex. Luckily, Taeyong had exactly one left somewhere deep in his bag between his textbooks and colored pencils, and he was kind enough to offer to share, claiming he didn’t really smoke himself unless blackout drunk.

They’re smoking, Donghyuck minding his own business as the other two badmouth the economics professor they share, Taeyong giving Jaemin vital ‘survival tips’ or whatever, when none other than Mark Lee approaches them, though, by the way his eyes never leave Donghyuck’s as he walks over the football field, Donghyuck’s led to believe Mark has little care for Donghyuck’s friends being here as well.

“Lee.” Mark greets Donghyuck when he comes to a halt by their little trio, sniffling against the fall air rapidly decreasing in temperature as November drew nearer each day, a nod in each of Donghyuck’s friend’s general directions as well.

“He’s a Lee, too, by the way,” Donghyuck says and passes the cigarette to Taeyong, blowing the smoke out to hit Mark’s face.

Already then, Mark looks really fucking good. Donghyuck doesn’t think of this thought as crossing any boundaries he had set for himself to assure he won the bet – it’s just a simple observation; anyone could be able to say that Mark looked attractive. Dark puffer jacket, loose jeans, and a beanie on top of his dark hair, and, really, it’s more about the person wearing the clothes than the items themselves because if someone like Jaemin left their apartment looking like this, Donghyuck would probably laugh until there were tears in his eyes.

And Mark’s shuffling from one foot to the other, shoulders bunched up to keep himself warm, and he smiles at Taeyong – the other Lee besides the two of them – a bit awkwardly, though it’s such a Mark gesture that Donghyuck can’t help but find it endearing.

Fuck. He was already doing so bad at this.

And then Mark dares to open his mouth, eyes now unwavering when they look at Donghyuck. “Can I borrow you for a minute?” He asks, hands pocketed and nose red from the cold.

Donghyuck sighs and nods, following Mark when he moves away from the others, and he sends a look over his shoulder at a curious Taeyong and a smug Jaemin wiggling his eyebrows, and Donghyuck makes sure Mark’s back is turned to him before he flips Jaemin the bird.

Mark and him never really officially made their relationship public, but then again, there was no relationship to go public with in the first place. They fucked sometimes, but that wasn’t anyone else’s business but their own (and Jaemin’s too apparently), though it was hard to stop the rumors from spreading about their rendezvous from people who claimed to have seen them making out at parties or even walking in on them butt naked in bed whenever Mark would hold parties at his and Jaehyun’s place. Donghyuck had even heard someone from his music history class talk about how Mark and him had apparently fucked in the school’s storage room, which was the dumbest shit Donghyuck had ever heard. (It was the janitor’s closet and after hours so it didn’t even really count.)

They never made it much of a show to ignore each other on campus, but neither did they purposefully seek one another out either. Though sometimes, in the deep and safe confines of Donghyuck’s imagination, he would grab Mark by both of his silly ears and kiss him in front of the whole student population just to let them know that Mark was his.

But he wasn’t. And neither was Donghyuck Mark’s.

“What’s up?” Donghyuck asks when they come to a halt far enough from prying eyes and ears, but still close enough that Donghyuck can hear Jaemin and Taeyong’s faint muttering from somewhere under the bleachers.

Mark turns to face him, face twisting up in discomfort at the cold, and Donghyuck has to bite back a smile at his expression. How this was the same guy who pressed Donghyuck deep into his mattress and whispered all sorts of filthy things in his ear that even now, thinking about, makes all blood rush south – Donghyuck didn’t know.

“Jaehyun’s hosting a party at our place on Friday.” Mark says.

Donghyuck hums, shoving his own hands deep in his pockets so he doesn’t do something stupid like pull Mark under the bleachers and shove his tongue in Mark’s mouth.

“Which means we’ll have to reschedule to an earlier time.”

“Why?” Donghyuck opens his mouth before he can think it through and by the way Mark’s eyebrows shoot up he knows that it’s too late to back out. “You wanna fuck me so bad you can’t make it more than a week without getting your dick wet?”

Donghyuck didn’t know what kind of reaction he wanted to garner from Mark, mostly just thinking of all the ways to not let Mark fuck him on Friday because if it wasn’t for Jaemin’s stupid bet and Donghyuck’s even stupider pride, he’d probably be on his knees in the football field grass that was way too green this time of year for it to be real.

“Oh, really?” Mark says with the same raised brows from before, doing a poor job at concealing the tug of his lips, but just because he wants Donghyuck to see. “ I’m the one who can’t make it a week?”

“Aren’t you the one who calls?” Donghyuck deflects the question.

“Aren’t you the one who picks up?” Mark does the same. “As far as I know, no one’s forcing you to answer my calls.”

And Mark’s looking at him with such a smug face that a hundred different ways to wipe it off run through Donghyuck’s head in a blinding rush, but they’re out in the open for anyone to see and so Donghyuck settles on the only thing that won’t have new rumors spreading and Jaemin screaming bloody murder and writing loser on their shared bathroom mirror for Donghyuck to see when he wakes up and goes to piss.

Donghyuck steps towards Mark so there’s not enough space between them for Mark’s breath to not be felt on Donghyuck’s lips. “As far as I know, you’re not the only person who has my number on speed dial.” He says, voice low, “Your cock isn’t the only one who fits in all the right places.”

Really, Donghyuck says this with nothing but selfish intentions, but something in Mark’s eyes glistens at the words and he leans in impossibly closer, their noses nearly touching, and Donghyuck has to force every fiber in his body to obey and not let his gaze stray to Mark’s lips.

“All these supposed cocks on your tongue and in your ass, but you somehow always end up coming back to mine, hm?” Mark quirks an eyebrow and Donghyuck tries his best not to shiver under his hoodie like a closeted teenager about to type gay sex into the PornHub search bar.

Mark leans in close enough that his lips brush the shell of Donghyuck’s ear.

“So many people having your number on speed dial, but give it enough time with none of the callers being me and it’ll be you calling me, begging me to push you down and fill you up like you do every single time .”

Mark pulls back slightly so he can watch Donghyuck’s expression.

Donghyuck rakes his head for a proper response, finding nothing saint up there, so he turns to just staring Mark down in his best imitation of Renjun when he opened the cabinet to find it empty and the last pack of Sour Patch Kids in Donghyuck’s lap, fingers sticky with the sugar and mouth stilling in its chewing so he wouldn’t choke as Renjun tried jumping him in the safe confines of their living room while Jaemin hunched over a Mario Kart game.

“Can’t even deny it.” Mark clicks his tongue and steps back, arms in front of him to stretch. “Are you sure I’m the one who wouldn’t last a week?”

“Fuck you,” Donghyuck says the first thing he thinks of, and Mark smiles – all pearly white teeth. “There are other people who want me too.”

Mark trails his eyes down Donghyuck’s body and then snaps them back up to meet his gaze, “I don’t doubt it.” He says, hands back in his pockets now, “with how you are, you’re easier to want than to not to.”

Someone shouts Mark’s name from somewhere on the football field and both their heads snap toward the sound. It’s one of Mark’s senior friends with a group of guys his age Donghyuck had seen around campus and at parties. Donghyuck can’t put a name to this particular one, but he’s waving at them – at Mark – gesturing for him to come over.

“Damn, gotta go, Hyuck,” Mark says, sparing Donghyuck a glance, body already twisting towards the football field. “See you Friday. Bring a condom.” He says and B-lines straight towards his friends, leaving Donghyuck to look after him (definitely not longingly).

Fuck a week.

Donghyuck’s keeping his dick down with both his hands and blocking Mark’s number if he has to – just to last that one month.

*

“Are you going to the party on Friday?” Jaemin asks from his spot on the couch, laying on his back, laptop on his stomach and screen tilted down so far he might as well have just shut it completely.

“That’s in two days,” Renjun says, his own laptop on the coffee table as he sits on the ground by the couch cross-legged.

“I’m aware, thanks.”

“We have our literature analysis due Friday.” Renjun leans back so the back of his head hits Jaemin’s knees, looking at him through his fringe.

“Okay? Can’t you just hand it in tomorrow and then go to the party?” Jaemin looks at Donghyuck – sitting in his designated armchair, legs slung over one side and laptop on his thighs.

“It takes time and effort.” Donghyuck says.

“Okay?” Jaemin laughs, the sound dying in his throat and sounding like a puppy wailing. “Just do it quicker and try harder or something?”

“Yeah, okay, business major.” Renjun says, turning his attention back to his laptop.

“Hey, now, that’s mean. I have to study hard too, you know.” Jaemin kicks the back of Renjun’s head with his knee lightly, the other jostling forward at the impact and sending a glare over his shoulder at Jaemin who just shrugs and smiles.

“You two are smart,” Jaemin says and then casts a look at Donghyuck with an exaggerated expression of doubt clouding his face, “well, the two part is debatable.”

Donghyuck flips Jaemin the bird.

“Aw, come on! What happened to Mr. honorary member of every frat house on campus?” Jaemin gestures loosely toward Donghyuck. “Is it because you won’t be able to fuck Mark that you don’t wanna go? God, Donghyuck, please don’t be so lame just because there’s no dick waiting for you at the end of the week.”

“Fuck you.” Donghyuck says. “It’s not even about that.”

But it is exactly about that. 

If it weren’t for Mark Lee being present at every single one of those fuck ass parties and looking hot enough in the dim lighting and alcohol-infused vision to make Donghyuck’s knees buckle at the mere sight, then he’d probably just rather stay at home and play Animal Crossing on his Switch in bed until his eyes were sore enough to hurt every time he blinked.

But Donghyuck wanted to see Mark, and he wanted to feel the weight of Mark’s gaze on him from across the room while they both held up their end of this silly little game of taking pride in not giving in first. And sometimes, if Donghyuck was lucky enough and if they both were drunk or high enough, he also got to feel Mark’s hands on him in some corner of a room with a lockable door – hair, nape, hips; under his clothes; beyond the waistband of his boxers. 

Donghyuck did want to see Mark; to feel him. Even to just talk to him, to be near him – but that was too far for the limits of his thoughts Donghyuck had set for himself because if he were to keep up with these sentiments he might come to the undeniable conclusion that he missed Mark.

Jaemin hums. “Yeah, well what is it then?”

Donghyuck makes a show of rolling his eyes and slamming his laptop shut and placing it on the coffee table beside Renjun’s textbooks and notes.

“Is this not just about you being scared to go alone?” Donghyuck asks, arms crossed over his chest. 

Jaemin’s a bit sheepish when he answers a quiet, “No.”

“You’re not obliged to go to every single one of these parties, you do know that right?” Renjun asks, but he’s not phrasing it as a jab at Jaemin’s pride or anything, because his voice is soft and he sighs as he places the textbook from his lap back on the table.

“Yeah, except that I am.” Jaemin stresses, shutting his laptop and sitting up on his elbows. “Make fun of me all you want, but as a business major I need to make contacts, and if I miss out on a single one of the frats, I’m risking losing my shot at standing out from the crowd.”

“Ah, yes, the horrors of blending into the lower part of the college experience social hierarchy.” Renjun says.

Jaemin kicks him with his knee again, but then he puts both hands in front of his face, making a show of sobbing into them, and then peeking out from the spaces between his fingers to look at Renjun and Donghyuck.

“Please, come. The seniors scare me.” Jaemin says, voice muffled by his hands.

Renjun sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, casting a look at Donghyuck who also sighs and does the same.

“I think if you drop by the corner store right now and bring back some Monsters, we can probably time crunch this overnight.” Donghyuck says with a nod towards Renjun’s open laptop, and Jaemin lowers his hands from his face slowly.

“Really?” He asks.

“Really.” Donghyuck says.

Jaemin’s face lights up with pure glee and he stands up at once, darting to the kitchen for the tote bag he keeps hung on the back of his designated chair.

“I’ll be back in twenty.” He says and disappears through the front door in a flash, no jacket over his sweater.

Donghyuck and Renjun turn to one another with a deep sigh each and Donghyuck reaches for his laptop with the empty Word document on the screen once again.

“By the way,” Renjun says after some time of silence, both of them supposedly working on their report, but no sound of keyboard keys clacking. “Is Mark really that good of a fuck that you can’t get hard for anyone else?”

“God .” Donghyuck whines. “Not you too.”

“It’s not me too .” He throws his hands up in defense, leaning back against the couch, the report long forgotten once again. “I’m just trying to understand why you’re so adamant on making him your boyfriend– shut up let me finish. It’s clear you like him and it’s clear he likes you back, which, fuck, Donghyuck, do you understand how crazy that even is? He’s like the most sought-after guy in his year and he’s letting you fiddle with him like a chew toy.”

Donghyuck doesn’t look at Renjun, but he can feel Renjun looking at him, and the heat on his cheeks spreads to the tips of his ears.

“He has sex with you, then he asks you out, and you reject him, and he keeps having sex with you like some loser,” Renjun says. “Not to diss him, but either he’s an absolute fucking idiot, or he’s seriously down bad for you, which is the complete opposite from–”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Donghyuck cuts him off, running a hand through his hair and deciding that Renjun’s seen him in more compromising states than when he’s blushing furiously like right now, so Donghyuck looks at him with pursued lips. “But the thing is – what you said – Mark’s like… the hottest guy on campus or whatever, and he thinks he wants a relationship with me, but what do we even have in common outside of waiting to fuck each other? Like, okay, he asks me out and I say yes, and then what? We go on a date holding hands and staring longingly into each other’s eyes?”

“It’s not about going on dates, don’t be dense.” Renjun says, their stupid reports long-forgotten, and Mark Lee coming to haunt Donghyuck in his every day which he was never even supposed to be a part of in the first place.

“You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me right now that the prospect of Mark having sex with someone else doesn’t make you feel like throwing up.” Renjun says and Donghyuck opens his mouth to spew some bullshit, but Renjun puts a hand up. “Don’t even try. You might be a good liar to everyone else, but I see through you like glass.” He says. “What you need – what you want even if you’re too proud to admit it because of that asshole ex-boyfriend of yours or whatever – is commitment.”

“I need anything but commitment.” Donghyuck whines. “That’s the only reason I’m even fucking Mark – because there’s no commitment and I can just leave afterward.”

“Yeah, and then muffle your sobs in your pillow.” Renjun says and widens his eyes mockingly when Donghyuck looks at him with furrowed brows. “Yeah, exactly. The walls aren’t that thick. Jaemin might snore like a bear, but I can hear you, you know.”

Donghyuck crosses his arms over his chest with a huff, biting at the inside of his cheek as he tries to think of something to say, something that will prove Renjun wrong, but alas, there is no such thing, because Renjun is right.

“It’s not like there’s any point anyway.” Donghyuck says eventually, voice quiet.

He’s grown tired of always fighting against the complicated tangle of emotions relating to Mark and how closely they mirror the ones Donghyuck had felt for that asshole he was in love with during the last few years of high school before his heart got broken so badly that Donghyuck couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks afterward. A part of him wishes that he’d had someone like Renjun with him back then; to hold his hands through it and to assure him everything will be alright, or to just pull up to the fucker Joshua’s house and throw rotten eggs at his windows. 

“I talked with Mark yesterday.” Donghyuck says with a sigh like he’s letting go of the burdens he’d been harboring for the entire time Mark and he had gotten into their arrangement. “I’m pretty sure he hates me now. Or more like he thinks I hate him.”

Renjun’s voice is steady when he asks, “What did you do?”

“Well,” Donghyuck draws out, dreading to tell Renjun of his playground tactics in getting his crush to like him back because they’re already laughable in his own head. “I sort of told him that I had other people in line to fuck me, and that he wasn’t special and I didn’t need him or, well, his dick to be specific. And now he won’t speak to me unless I do it first.”

Renjun stares at him with his lips parted and face scrunched up like he’d just eaten a sour lemon. 

He huffs, runs a hand through his hair, blinks rapidly, and then turns to look back at Donghyuck with his eyebrows drawn. “Um, okay.” He says. “And why exactly did you do that?”

Donghyuck just shrugs. 

“Okay.” Renjun says. “Damn. Jaemin really was right about those self-sabotaging tendencies.”

“It’s not that, it’s just,” Donghyuck starts, unsure how to put this mess in his head into coherent sentences for Renjun to get what he means. “It’s been almost a year since Mark asked me out and I said no. Like… a year is a long time, Renjun, and we’ve never been exclusive so it’s not like either of us haven’t slept with at least some other people.”

Renjun says nothing, just sits with his hands in his lap, and patiently waits for Donghyuck to keep going. 

“And like, sure, we have sex frequently and it’s really good or whatever, but that’s all there is to it. It’s just sex. Just sex doesn’t translate well into a relationship.” Donghyuck says, hoping he’s making sense as he rushes to get it all out before cowardice mixed with pride gets in the way. “There’s nothing to it besides sex. Mark barely talks to me at uni, and he never kisses me without tongue, and he doesn’t know anything about me besides shit like what positions I like best in bed. None of his cool senior friends even know we know each other, except the Jaehyun guy but that’s only because he lives with Mark and Mark’s shit at managing his time so we finish our shit before the guy gets home from his own boyfriend’s place or whatever.”

Renjun waits to make sure Donghyuck’s done talking and then he sighs. “Don’t you think that Mark doesn’t do any of those things because you made it clear that you don’t want him to?” Renjun asks and watches Donghyuck’s pursued lips. “I mean, you were the one who rejected him when he asked you out, so you can’t really blame him.”

“Yeah but…”

“Yeah but what?”

“That was a year ago – the asking me out thing – I already said that. And it’s just that, I don’t know, I guess there’s no way to know if he doesn’t do those things because I asked him not to, or because he’s decided that just having sex will be good enough for him.”

“Well, do you want my two cents on it?” Renjun asks, quirking up one eyebrow and eyeing Donghyuck with the practiced scrutiny he usually saved for when he had to proofread Jaemin’s essays.

“No.” Donghyuck says through a poorly suppressed smile. “You’re gonna make me feel bad about myself.”

“Ah, well, someone has to humble you while the rest of the world falls at your feet.” Renjun sighs dramatically and bites at his lips, face morphing into a dramatic reenactment of sadness and melancholy.

“Say what you wanted to say, Shakespeare.” 

“Right, well, my humble opinion is that Mark doesn’t do all those things because he’s in too deep, and he’s scared that you’re gonna pull away if he does something like, I don’t know, hold your hand on campus or something.” Renjun says and Donghyuck scoffs. “No, seriously. I get that your asshole ex-boyfriend might have led you to believe otherwise – and I swear Jaemin and I will have a heart-to-heart with him if you just agree to give me his fucking number – but there are people out there who like you for more than your body, Donghyuck; and people who, if given the chance, will love you and cherish you and what not, and not go out and cheat.”

“I don’t even know if I want a relationship.”

“Right, well,” Renjun says, “that’s for you to figure out yourself. I already said what I think, and I stand by it.”

A relationship with Mark.

Holding hands and kissing out in public for everyone to see; inviting Mark over to meet his roommates and playing Mario Kart together; going to the library or the cafe after school to study and spending too much time talking about anything but their studies that they get no work done. Letting Mark kiss him as he pushes into Donghyuck to swallow every sound he makes and look at Donghyuck’s face when his back arches off the mattress as he comes with Mark’s name on his lips.

“Yeah.” Donghyuck says, voice hoarse, and clears his throat. “I’ll think about it.”

*

Having slept a total of four hours at most, Donghyuck and Renjun head to Jaehyun’s place with Jaemin between them – arm slung over each of their shoulders and a spring in his step.

At least one of them is excited for tonight.

Renjun looks one inconvenience away from turning around and going home, and all Donghyuck feels is dread.

He’d politely refused Jaemin’s offer of pre-gaming ten minutes before leaving the apartment because he was afraid he’d actually fall asleep before they even managed to make it outside, and now – with every step towards the familiar destination – Donghyuck begins to regret his decision more and more.

“Just to make things clear,” Donghyuck says, mind already plagued by images of what Mark will look like at that party with his hair slicked back from the stuffy air and maybe even some eyeshadow at the outer corners of his eyes. “What counts as sex ?”

“Um.” Jaemin eyes Donghyuck weirdly. “Penetration, I guess.”

“Not true.” Renjun says under the weight of Jaemin’s arm. “If it’s two vaginas involved, then it doesn’t have to be penetration.”

“Yeah, sure, but I was talking about in regards to Donghyuck.” Jaemin says. “And he doesn’t have a vagina. Just a small penis.”

“You’re just projecting your insecurities on me.” Donghyuck under and out of Jaemin’s grasp. “You can only wish you had my enormous dick.”

“Oh, how I wish I had your enormous dick, Donghyuck.” Jaemin retrieves his arm from Renjun’s shoulders and presses his palms together, head thrown back and eyes closed against the night sky. “Oh, Lord, please bless me with a dick the same size as Donghyuck’s.”

Donghyuck watches him with an amused look, as Jaemin lowers his hands and his gaze to his crotch, grabbing at it with one hand and then turning to Donghyuck with wide eyes. “Oh my, god, it shrunk.”

Donghyuck shoves him so he nearly hits the bushes behind Renjun, laughing loudly and brightly, and Donghyuck has trouble stifling his own laughter, Renjun’s shoulders shaking with giggles, too.

“That mouth of yours is gonna get you into trouble one of these days.” Donghyuck says.

“Yeah, well, it’s both a blessing and a curse, what can I say? No one’s perfect.” 

They round a corner and the familiar bus stop comes into view and Donghyuck’s smile suddenly drops from his face, his heart to his ass.

“Every man for himself?” Jaemin asks as they stop in front of the apartment complex doors, Donghyuck fishing his phone out of his pocket for the door code Mark had texted him ages ago when they’d just started their… thing.

“Weren’t you the one crying about not wanting to come here alone?” Renjun asks and Donghyuck steps past them both to punch in the code.

The door clicks open.

“Yeah, but I’ll have some alcohol in my guts in no time and I’ll be fine.” Jaemin says with a wistful sigh and steps in through the door. “Besides, just the knowledge that my two best friends are here with me is enough to set my heart at ease.” Jaemin puts his hand on his chest and turns to face them.

“You’re such a dummy.” Renjun huffs out a laugh and pushes Jaemin forwards to the elevator.

Donghyuck follows the two of them inside, the door clicking shut behind him softly.

*

Donghyuck manages to down about three cups of whatever mixture of juice and vodka some girl from a year below had recommended when she’d spotted him alone by the kitchen counter, eyeing the alcohol bottles while barely holding up his weight after the three shots he’d just done with some seniors who he didn’t recognize.

She was a nice girl – dark hair cut sharp and short just above her chin and dark lipstick that had managed to smudge already – and she made Donghyuck drink a glass of water before making him her signature cocktail upon insistence that he looked on the verge of either passing out or throwing up.

Then she’d disappeared with her friends and Donghyuck was left alone with his fairy fruit drink in his hand and still no sight of Mark; and really, Donghyuck should’ve been grateful for the higher power for sparing him and putting Mark out of sight and out of mind (not really). 

A hand grabs for Donghyuck’s wrist and he spins around to see Jaemin standing there with his pupils blown wide.

“Woah.” Donghyuck says, his own voice sounding distant to his ears. “What the fuck did you take?”

“Just weed.” Jaemin says, and he’s panting like he just ran ten laps in Mr. Smith’s P.E. class. “I hope.” He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. “They’re doing body shots in the living room.”

“Body shots?”

“Body shots.”

“Damn.”

It’s just Donghyuck and Jaemin in the kitchen, Renjun on the couch last time Donghyuck had spotted him – with some people Donghyuck had never seen before on campus, telling some story that one guy laughed way too hard at to pass off as anything but a plea for a fuck. Donghyuck couldn’t even blame him. He’d probably follow the nearest stranger to bed himself if such an offer was proposed. Though, a bed seemed too much of a privilege under these particular circumstances, so Donghyuck would be fine with the bathroom or the storage closet he knew to be next to Mark’s bedroom.

Speaking of the fucking devil. 

Mark appears at the corner of Donghyuck’s vision like he’d just manifested from thin air – all messy hair and just as messy eyeshadow, and wearing a shirt that fits him just right and in all the right places and fuck him, Mark looks just like a fragment of Donghyuck’s wet dreams. 

And the funny thing is that there’s no way Mark hadn’t caught glimpse of Donghyuck amongst these people, considering how it usually didn’t take him more than ten minutes upon arrival to push through the crowd and towards Donghyuck. 

And Mark’s conversing with some girl Donghyuck shared Art History with, one hand on the wall as he leans against it and looks down at her through hooded eyes.

And he’s not looking at Donghyuck.

“Body shots?” Donghyuck asks again and Jaemin tugs him closer so he can speak directly into Donghyuck’s ear.

“There’s a hot guy from our year there,” Jaemin says over the loud music. “Let him do some body shots off of you and he’d definitely let you hit.”

Donghyuck pulls back with a laugh. “Let hit where? In Mark’s bedroom?”

Jaemin eyes him with urgency, tugging at his wrist and, oh, of course. Trust Jaemin to add fuel to Donghyuck’s already burning urges when it came to anything and everything related to Mark – always hot, always burning, and always leaving Donghyuck cold after the fire burns out.

Renjun would probably have both their heads on spikes if he found out, but that’s exactly why Renjun didn’t have to know.

Donghyuck and Jaemin are the same in the sense that when one proposes something, the other will never back down until it’s done. And Jaemin’s well aware of Donghyuck’s theoretical – and probably soon practical – boner in relation to Mark, so fuck him really, annoying prick. 

“You’re such an ass, you know that?” Donghyuck leans towards Jaemin’s ear.

Jaemin pulls back with a wide smile. “Someone has to keep things interesting in your mundane life.”

Donghyuck will get him back for this one day. 

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest as Jaemin drags him through the small crowd of people gathered around the dinner table where some girl’s already lying with her blouse off, a guy making work of the salt on her chest just above her bra, tongue sweeping it up quickly and teeth going for the lemon in her mouth.

Donghyuck guesses they’re a couple by the way the lemon finds itself on the ground and they keep licking into one another’s mouths with little regard for the people watching them with varying reactions.

One of the seniors pulls the pair apart, saying something over the loud music that Donghyuck can’t make out, and the guy helps his presumed girlfriend up from the table, steadying her in his arms when she struggles to stand on two feet. 

“Okay, who’s next?” The senior claps his hands and only now does Donghyuck notice that it’s Jaehyun.

His hair’s slicked back with either sweat or gel – Donghyuck can’t tell in the garbage lighting – and he has a cap in one hand, twirling it on one finger as he surveys the people, and really, with how much alcohol has been collectively drunk so far into the night, Donghyuck would’ve expected way more eager volunteers.

Sucks to be them, Donghyuck thinks as he steps forward the senior.; sucks to be Mark who Donghyuck can’t spot amongst the people (not that he’s spent copious amounts of time looking or anything).

Jaehyun recognizes him and he laughs – a sound low and deep in his throat – and extends an arm towards Donghyuck in the dude-bro handshake/hug thing Donghyuck had seen Mark do with his senior friends when watching him from afar on campus. 

Donghyuck takes Jaehyun’s hand and lets him pull Donghyuck to his chest and pat his back with the other hand. 

“Lee Donghyuck, let’s go!” He calls out and raises Donghyuck’s hand into the air like pronouncing him champion of some competition he wasn’t even aware of participating in. 

The people around them cheer and the trance Donghyuck had thought they were in before seems to break and it becomes evident just how much alcohol has been drunk among them all.

“Get up there, little guy.” Jaehyun lets go of Donghyuck’s hand and nudges him toward the table.

Donghyuck tries to ignore the nickname as he raises his shirt over his head and throws it in Jaemin’s general direction who, much to Donghyuck’s surprise, manages to catch it, sending a thumbs-up and a wink his way.

The people cheer as he climbs on the table, Jaehyun’s hand on his bare skin, steadying him when Donghyuck nearly topples over and takes the table with him when all the alcohol seems to suddenly rush to his head.

He lies down on his back, the wood of the table cold and sticky with substances Donghyuck doesn’t want to think too deeply about, and watches Jaehyun hold the bottle cap between his teeth as he pours the tequila on Donghyuck’s navel with one hand – making him shiver at the sudden coldness – and sprinkles salt on his chest with the other.

“There you go, sunshine.” He says with the cap still between his teeth as he leans down to put the lime in Donghyuck’s mouth.

Jaehyun screws the bottle shut and turns his back to Donghyuck. 

“Okay? Who wants to go?” He asks and immediately it’s Jaemin who steps forward.

Donghyuck wants to laugh but he holds it in as Jaemin approaches him with a shit-eating grin and wastes no time in bringing his lips down to Donghyuck’s navel and slurping up the tequila from his belly button rather unceremoniously.

Donghyuck can’t help the giggle that escapes him, both at the tickling feeling of Jaemin’s tongue against his chest, and the sour expression on his face as he licks up the salt. He brings his face close to Donghyuck’s, taking the lime from Donghyuck’s teeth with his fingers and popping it into his own mouth.

“Watch the hot guy come up next to show you how it’s done because I didn’t shove my tongue in your mouth,” Jaemin mutters against Donghyuck’s face, their noses nearly touching.

Donghyuck laughs again, pushing Jaemin away, who retreats easily, spitting the lime out into his hand and throwing it in the trash by the table.

“Okay! Next!” Jaehyun’s voice booms through the room, nearly as loud as the music.

And just like Jaemin had predicted, a hot guy steps up next – tall in height and broad in build, with dark hair and sharp features – and Donghyuck sends a quick glance in Jaemin’s direction to confirm whether this is the dude he meant, and Jaemin gets what Donghyuck’s trying to non-verbally ask and nods excitedly.

Same gist – Jaehyun pours the tequila onto Donghyuck’s navel, sprinkles the salt on his chest, and pops the lime into his mouth with a smile and a pat on Donghyuck’s cheek.

With Jaemin, Donghyuck’s initial reaction was to laugh, because it was Jaemin – his silly roommate and dear friend Jaemin who, despite being on Donghyuck’s ass most days for the sake of it, also only wanted what was good for him.

But this isn’t Jaemin. 

It’s a ridiculously attractive guy who Donghyuck doesn’t know; a guy who leans down to drink the liquid poured in Donghyuck’s belly button, licking at his navel to lap up every last drop, and really, Donghyuck blames it on the lack of sex in this particular week because he squeezes his legs together instinctively, a sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan slipping past his lips before he can stop it.

All the blood seems to rush to his ears and Donghyuck can barely even hear the music that previously was loud enough for him to feel inside his bones. But now he can’t feel anything but the wetness and warmth of the guy’s mouth as he kisses up Donghyuck’s stomach slowly, taking his time to bite and suck at the skin, lapping the faint ache up with his tongue, and out of pure habit, Donghyuck reaches down to tangle his hands in the guy’s hair, breathing coming out ragged and jeans uncomfortable in places they hadn’t been before.

Donghyuck tilts his head sideways to rest his cheek on the cool surface of the table (and because he’s afraid he might actually come in his pants if he watches the guy’s tongue move across his skin for a second longer) and Donghyuck spots Jaehyun with a smirk on his face, looking somewhere in the crowd that had gathered without Donghyuck taking notice. And of course, it can be only one person who Jaehyun’s looking at.

Mark’s eyes meet Donghyuck’s and Donghyuck feels his breathing halt, mind going completely blank as Mark holds his gaze, never staying anywhere but Donghyuck’s eyes.

But then the guy’s putting one of Donghyuck’s nipples in between his teeth and biting down lightly, and Donghyuck’s back arches off the table, Mark’s presence forgotten as he fists his hands in the guy’s hair and lets him reach the lime by pressing their mouths together.

His tongue sweeps in and the lime’s gone from Donghyuck’s mouth in an instant, mind too cloudy for him to do much besides let the guy take it, and then he’s pulling back, smiling down at Donghyuck with one corner of his mouth and sending him a wink.

He extends a hand for Donghyuck to take, to let himself be pulled up, but Donghyuck doesn’t even get to raise a finger when a hand on his shoulder pulls the handsome dude away from the table; away from Donghyuck.

Mark stands in front of him down, not looking at Donghyuck, but instead – at Jaehyun who looks back with his eyebrows raised.

“Gotta keep the line going, sorry dude.” Jaehyun says to the sexy guy with a shrug and then turns to regard Donghyuck. “You still in?”

Donghyuck looks at Jaehyun, trying to blink away the sudden cloudiness of his vision, air cold against bare skin, and every thought in his head muffled and overtaken by pure raw desire that might burn him from the inside if someone doesn’t put out the flame soon.

He looks up at the stranger who regards Donghyuck one last time before stepping away and leaving just him and Mark, and Jaehyun, though Mark’s still not looking at Donghyuck.

Donghyuck nods at Jaehyun’s question and the senior smiles, shaking his head in disbelief, putting his cap on before he unscrews the bottle and pours it onto Donghyuck’s navel for the third time tonight.

Tequila. Salt. Lime.

Mark sweeps in at once, hands on each side of Donghyuck’s bare waist like holding him in place, tongue quick and practiced as Mark drags it down Donghyuck’s navel all the way to where his pants rest below his waist, pulled down low to allow more space for the body shots.

Donghyuck grips the edges of the table to stop himself from just tangling his fingers in Mark’s hair in encouragement and confirmation of things Donghyuck was set on proving everyone wrong about.

His chest heaves with every breath and Donghyuck throws his head back, squeezes his eyes shut against the dim neon lighting because he can’t look at Mark. 

Mark notices this, of course, he does, and he pinches Donghyuck’s sides lightly in a silent order, and, fuck, his legs twitch and Donghyuck tilts his head back down, eyes meeting Mark’s – already looking at Donghyuck in a way he thinks he’s never seen Mark look; the pupils are blown wide, his irises nearly invisible, and he holds Donghyuck’s gaze as he trails his tongue up and dips it into Donghyuck’s belly button.

Donghyuck’s eyes squeeze shut on instinct, but Mark pinches his sides a little harder this time, and waits for Donghyuck to train his haze back to him before his tongue laps at the liquid and he sucks, hard.

Donghyuck can barely focus his eyes on Mark’s relentless gaze as he’s quick to move upward and lick the stripe of salt off Donghyuck’s chest. 

There should be embarrassment at the fact that he’s near the verge of creaming his pants on a table in front of a bunch of strangers he’s gonna have to face on Monday on campus, but his mind’s unable to think of anything but the warmth slowly but steadily coiling in his belly; mind unable to think of anything but Mark. 

Mark.

Mark.

Mark.

Always fucking Mark.

Mark who moves his hands to rest on each side of Donghyuck’s head as he ducks down for the lime between Donghyuck’s teeth.

But Donghyuck’s petty and his pride is probably the only feeling strong enough to make itself known in between the muddled mess of desire in his head, because Donghyuck parts his jaw and lets the lime slice fall into his mouth, catching it on his tongue easily.

Donghyuck thinks he catches a sliver of a smile on Mark’s lips before he’s putting one hand behind Donghyuck’s neck for leverage and leaning down to shove his tongue into Donghyuck’s mouth.

Mark doesn’t kiss him – Donghyuck’s not even sure what name to put to this shit except probably some sort of variation of voyeurism that he was now definitely sure Mark had. He sweeps up the lime slice quickly because Donghyuck doesn’t share Mark’s fetishes, though the strain at the front of Donghyuck’s jeans begs to differ because there was something so satisfying at the thought of Mark doing this to him in front of all these people – staking his claim. And Donghyuck fucking letting him.

Mark pulls back at once, lime between his teeth, his own eyes just as hazy as Donghyuck’s, but he probably does a better job at hiding it – spitting the lime into his palm and retreating from Donghyuck who can do nothing but keep clutching at the table for dear life, entire body tense and twitching, afraid that if he does as much as move a muscle, he’ll come in his pants untouched.

Mark doesn’t meet Donghyuck’s eyes, doesn’t even look at Jaehyun as he nudges past the people having stared at them in shock throughout the whole… whatever that just was.

Jaehyun leans down closer to Donghyuck’s face. 

“I think that’s enough for you for tonight.” He says and it takes a moment for the words to register in Donghyuck’s brain before he’s nodding and letting Jaehyun help him up.

Jaemin approaches with wide eyes and parted lips, clutching Donghyuck’s shirt in his hand hard enough to have his knuckles turning white.

“Okay! Who’s next?” Jaehyun calls out as Jaemin holds Donghyuck by the wrist just like before and leads the two of them away from that damned dinner table.

They find themselves in a mostly deserted hallway, one pair making out against a wall, but neither being people Donghyuck recognizes.

Jaemin spins around, still wearing that expression that Donghyuck had written off as initial shock from before, but it should’ve long passed by now. He regards Donghyuck’s bare torso – a sticky mess of alcohol and salt and spit and sweat, too probably, from exerting himself trying to hold his orgasm in like one would hold in a shit when the line to the public bathroom was too long.

“You need to get cleaned up.” Jaemin states the obvious.

“Yeah.” Donghyuck agrees, voice and gaze distant where it’s directed in the general direction of Mark’s bedroom door.

“You okay?” Jaemin nudges Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck snaps his gaze to Jaemin in front of him.

He shakes his head, “yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.”

Jaemin doesn’t seem convinced. He hands Donghyuck his shirt.

“I’m gonna go clean up.” Donghyuck says.

“You need help with that?” Jaemin asks and follows Donghyuck when he turns to head to the bathroom.

“No, no, it’s okay.” Donghyuck assures, mostly just needing some time alone, and while he did consider Jaemin a dear friend, their relationship wasn’t one Donghyuck would consider appropriate for watching as Donghyuck takes care of the raging hard-on in his pants.

Jaemin’s not entirely convinced, but Donghyuck doesn’t stick around the hallway for much longer, heading straight for the bathroom with his shirt pressed to his chest, goosebumps all over his exposed skin.

The bathroom’s right by the living room and Donghyuck barges in with clumsy limbs, nearly hitting the people making out against the nearest wall with the door. Except they’re not making out – they’re full on fucking. And they’re not just people – it’s Mark with his pants at his ankles and the girl from before with her legs around Mark’s waist and his dick in her fucking ass.

Renjun was right. Donghyuck does feel like throwing up at the thought of Mark having sex with other people, and he has to force the bile to stay down in his stomach at the very real sight of the exact thing happening.

Donghyuck leaves in a flurry, not bothering to shut the door behind him since Mark was so into other people watching him fuck apparently, and searches the crowd for a familiar face.

Donghyuck spots the sexy guy from before making out with someone by the kitchen fridge and Donghyuck pulls them apart to press their mouths together instead. The previous make out buddy seems too dazed to even understand what’s happening and he stumbles away and towards the circle by the couch passing around a blunt.

Donghyuck pulls back, breath hot and heavy, his shirt lost somewhere along the way. “Want you to fuck me.” He breathes out in an almost whine, at the very back of his throat, pressing their crotches together, painfully hard under his jeans, to emphasize on the urgency. “Please fuck me.” He says again.

The guy presses Donghyuck against a wall, the back of Donghyuck’s head hitting the plaster with a thud, and he palms at Donghyuck’s dick through the thick layer of his jeans and Donghyuck has to push his hand away with a bitten-back moan.

“Not here.” He says and takes the guy by the hand to lead him through the hallway and to the bedroom Donghyuck knows so well.

The door’s unlocked (stupid Mark, did he really think Donghyuck would run after him and beg him to fuck him so quickly?) and Donghyuck pulls the guy into the room, slamming the door behind him.

And they’re kissing again. 

Donghyuck pulls back for a split second. “What’s your name?” He asks, already making work of the other’s belt.

“Jeno.” He replies.

“I’m Donghyuck.” 

“Cool.” 

Donghyuck slides his pants down to his ankles along with his underwear, cock painfully hard and leaking where it presses against his stomach.

Jeno follows suit, slipping his cock out from the waistband of his briefs, and fisting it a few times to get himself fully hard. Fuck the guy – Donghyuck would lie if he said it didn’t hurt his pride a bit to see his semi-soft dick. Mark would’ve been hard and leaking after having Donghyuck’s tongue in his mouth for a few minutes.

“Bend me over.” Donghyuck tells Jeno and Jeno complies, taking Donghyuck by the nape of his neck and slowly, carefully pushing him down onto the bed.

Donghyuck’s ass is in the air and the hands on his hips are big, fingers long and slender and if Donghyuck squeezes his eyes shut tight enough and tries hard enough, he can almost imagine Mark behind him – gaze clouded and pupils blown wide; like the way he’d looked at Donghyuck splayed out on that table with his shirt off for anyone to ogle if they so much as pleased. Mark’s hands as he held Donghyuck’s sides and the wetness of his tongue, the slick of his spit, the warmth of his mouth–

Donghyuck comes with a shudder, cock sensitive where it’s pressed between his stomach and the bed.

Jeno doesn’t even manage to put a single finger in Donghyuck’s ass, and he’s painfully aware of how embarrassing this is.

A silence takes over the room and Donghyuck’s aware of every breath entering and exiting his lungs.

“Um,” Jeno says from behind Donghyuck, retracting his hands from Donghyuck’s skin. “That was quick.”

He must say it to try and ease the awkward tension, but it only makes things worse, and Donghyuck sort of wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole so he’d never have to face another human being again.

Donghyuck straightens his upper body, sitting on his knees, and turns to look at Jeno over his shoulder, at his hard dick on the verge of deflating like a balloon if Donghyuck doesn’t do something about it.

“I can suck you off?” Donghyuck looks up at him sheepishly, turning around fully so Jeno’s dick is right in front of his face.

Jeno, much to Donghyuck’s surprise, laughs; but it’s not a menacing laugh, not making fun of Donghyuck. He seems to find this genuinely humorous which somehow is even worse than if he was laughing maniacally at Donghyuck’s premature ejaculation. 

“Sure.” He says with a smile and shrug. “If you want.”

Donghyuck opens his mouth to confirm that he does indeed want to, but then the bedroom door’s bursting open and Mark Lee’s rushing inside with everything about him a total mess and an accusing finger pointing in Donghyuck’s general direction.

“I knew you’d be here, you asshole!” He says, stopping in the middle of the room with his pointed finger now limp at his side.

Jeno covers his dick with his hands, and Donghyuck does the same.

“Why are you fucking other people in my bedroom?”Mark asks and Jeno eyes him with a strained expression.

“Where else am I supposed to do it then? The bathroom was fucking busy and it’s your fault for leaving the door open, dumbass.”

Mark approaches Donghyuck with a few large strides, the finger back at pointing towards Donghyuck in baseless accusation, ignoring Jeno’s presence in the room entirely.

“That doesn’t give you permission to trespass my private territory.” Mark says.

“Oh, what, are you a fucking alpha wolf now or something?”

“I’m a man with boundaries which you’re crossing.”

Donghyuck hears Jeno sigh from beside him and sees him pull his pants up snugly around his waist, buckling his belt.

“Where are you going?”Donghyuck calls out after Jeno attempts to leave.

“Leaving?”

“Why are you leaving?” Donghyuck asks.

“Yeah, goodbye.” Mark says with a wave in Jeno’s direction.

Jeno takes another step towards the door and Donghyuck spring to his feet. “Don’t you dare leave!” He says and pulls his pants up his legs, not managing to zip them up as he grabs for Jeno’s arm across the room.

“No, please, do leave.” Mark says.

“You two clearly have some unresolved shit going on.” Jeno says and gently unwraps Donghyuck’s fingers from around his wrist. “I wouldn’t have gone after you if I knew you weren’t single.”

“I am single.” Donghyuck assures

“He is.” Mark says with a nod toward Donghyuck. “We’re not dating.”

Jeno eyes the both of them like they’re crazy.

“Okay.” He says with a strained expression and B-lines for the door, Donghyuck not trying to stop him this time.

The door slams shut and Donghyuck turns to Mark.

“What’s your problem?” He asks.

“I don’t have a problem.”

Donghyuck scoffs. “Clearly. Barging in and giving me blue balls.”

“This is my room.” Mark cries out.

“It was the only place with privacy.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that it’s mine .”

“Okay? And you came here because? Feeling sleepy? Wanna go to bed after that good fuck you just had?”

Donghyuck regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth because Mark’s expression shifts and he tilts his head to eye Donghyuck with his eyebrows slightly raised. 

“So that’s what this is about? You know, I did have my suspicions, but damn, you really can’t last a week without me, can you?”

“Fuck you.” Donghyuck scoffs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not the one who made a show of slobbering on my stomach in front of a bunch of people.”

Mark barks out a laugh. “Acting like you weren’t moments away from busting your load into your pants.”

“Acting like you weren’t so hard you had to go fuck someone against a wall right away,” Donghyuck says with one corner of his mouth twitching upward. “In the ass too? Couldn’t even look me in the eyes after you kissed me in front of all those people. Bet you pressed the girl against that wall and pretended it was me you were fucking, wishing I also let you look into my eyes when you had your cock in so fucking deep, my eyes rolling into the back of my head and–”

Mark backs Donghyuck up against the nearest wall, hand over Donghyuck’s mouth and chest heaving, eyes darting around Donghyuck’s face like he’s trying to drink up the mere sight of him.

“You know, you talk real big for someone who gets hard by imagining me having sex with someone else,” Mark says, voice so low it sounds almost dangerous and reaches down to cup at Donghyuck’s already half-hard dick through his jeans.

Donghyuck has to bite back a moan as Mark palms him through his jeans, working him up to full hardness embarrassingly fast.

“All that talk about me imagining you, but I bet you wished it was you pressed up against that wall instead of bent over the sink, sliding up and down the tiles with every deep thrust.”

Mark keeps rubbing at Donghyuck and Donghyuck breathes heavily against Mark’s other hand clasped around his mouth, willing himself to keep holding Mark’s gaze and try not to think about how his pupils must be just as big as Mark’s as he looks at Donghyuck with a hunger that seems to have no end to it.

“I bet you imagined the way I’d finger you before I made you take my cock, on my knees in front of you; or maybe you imagined it was my tongue instead, working you open painfully slow as I held your hands behind your back so you wouldn’t touch yourself.”

Donghyuck tries, he really does, but a whimper escapes past his lips into the cup of Mark’s palm and he sees Mark look at him, accomplished. He pushes his hand past the waistband of Donghyuck’s briefs and wraps his fingers around Donghyuck’s leaking cock, and Donghyuck decides that he’s already lost this particular round of their little game of push and pull. 

He lets a broken moan past his lips, sound muffled by Mark’s hand, and throws his head back against the wall, throat bared for Mark’s mercy.

“Fuck, look at you.” Mark rasps, his own voice breaking, betraying just how affected he was by this as well. “Probably wishing you had my cock inside you right now, fucking you slow and deep just the way you like, dragging out your orgasm from you bit by bit.”

Donghyuck’s chest heaves, eyes squeezing shut and lines of his body tensing – so fucking close – but Mark’s spent way too much time getting to know every part of Donghyuck’s body for him to not notice the coil in his belly about to snap, so Mark – that fucker – removes his hand from Donghyuck’s pants quickly, the palm cupping his mouth retreating until Donghyuck’s left plastered against that fucking wall with his heart stuttering and his legs twitching, looking at Mark through near tears in his eyes.

Mark steps back so they’re in no way touching and he simply surveys Donghyuck for a moment, like waiting for something, like trying to make sense of things.

They’re close enough for Donghyuck to just reach forward and pull Mark back – exactly what Mark wants, no doubt – but Donghyuck’s dumb about many things, his pride included, and so he doesn’t reach for Mark.

Though this time, Mark doesn’t reach for him either, and after Donghyuck stays still for long enough, not daring to move an inch from where Mark had left him, Mark clicks his tongue and moves away properly. 

He wipes his hand stained with Donghyuck’s precum on his jeans and shakes his head.

“All this talk.” He says. “But that’s all it is, isn’t it, Donghyuck? Just talk.”

Donghyuck says nothing and Mark sighs, moving to the door. To leave.

He’s slow in his strides, like even when faced with the undeniable truth that Donghyuck was a coward and an asshole, Mark was still willing to give him a chance to prove otherwise.

There are people out there who like you for more than your body, Renjun had said.

But Donghyuck had nothing left in him besides his body to offer, and betrayal by fucking someone else he could deal with; but the mere thought of letting someone inside his heart again and them dropping it at the sight of something shinier, something better, something Donghyuck couldn’t offer – it made him sick to his stomach. 

Mark regards him with one last look over his shoulder, and with that, he’s out the door and out of Donghyuck’s sight.