Chapter Text
“Tam broke up with me.”
Conner stared at Tim, not exactly sure what to say. Normally, when you give someone a casual “hey what’s up” they say “I’m fine how are you?” Or maybe just “good.” And then you move on and go about your business. Normally, you don’t get an actual answer–– let alone an answer that requires a response. He opened the screen door of the farm house, stepping outside next to Tim.
“Ah, dude, that sucks.” Conner replied after a moment. “Major bummer. Uh. Sorry.” He patted an awkward hand against Tim’s shoulder.
Tim made a wet snort and shook his head. “She said I’m not doing anything. Can you believe that?” He held his arms up as if he were gesturing at something- but Conner wasn’t aware of what it could be. “Me? “
“I feel like you’re missing some steps here; I didn’t even know she was in town.” Conner stepped back from the doorway to let Tim inside.
"She's back for the weekend."
"From school right?" Conner didn't pretend he knew a lot about Tim's long-distance girlfriend. He knew they met in high school, but she had been a grade ahead of Conner so he never interacted with her much. She was in college now or something like that.
Tim sniffled again and went to pull his facemask off, revealing a red nose and puffy lips. He wasn't currently crying, but he clearly had been. "Yeah. Yeah she- can I sit down?" He moved to the old couch without an answer, "She's home for the weekend. Visiting her parents and…not me."
"Oh, so like, are you actually broke up or..?" Conner moved to the other side of the couch, genuinely not sure what he should be doing. Ma was home somewhere, hopefully she wouldn't walk in on this for Tim's sake.
Tim nodded. "She met me at work. Dropped by with my–– God. She had, like, a box of my stuff. Everything I'd given her: pictures, CDs, everything. At my job, man!" He raised his voice on the last bit as if Conner understood what he was getting at.
He certainly didn't have a box with him currently, just the skateboard he always had.
Conner just nodded slowly, "So, why did she break up with you? You do something?"
"No!" Tim turned to him and continued, "That's the whole thing! She says I don't do anything! She's like–– she's in school and clubs and going places every weekend and meeting new people and I'm working at a fucking photo-kiosk in the mall! I'm just her weird, loser boy back home."
It took every ounce of strength Conner had not to say "well, not any more," in response. Instead, he replied, "Well, you can't have expected you two would like…be together forever right?"
This was apparently the wrong thing to say because Tim shoved his face into his hands and started to openly sob. Conner hadn't ever seen Tim cry. Frankly, he hadn't ever seen Tim express any specifically strong emotion ever in his entire life. It was always that practiced stoicism bred into him by generations of rich, white weirdos. On the creepy and wet scale, Tim stayed pretty creepy and dry. Right now though, he was looking very normal and very wet.
Conner hesitantly put his arm around Tim's shoulder, pulling him in for a hug. He didn't know if Tim liked hugs, but when Conner was upset typically that's what would make him feel better the fastest––despite how much protested. Tim never actually seemed to mind.
"I just... I don't know," He gasped between his sobs. "I thought I was doing okay, you know? It’s–I mean– I barely graduated high school. She knew that. She knew I wasn't going to be going to college or taking over my family business or anything." He pressed his face into Conner’s shirt. "She stayed with me anyway. So why? Why now?"
Conner didn't want to say the truth: that she probably felt dragged down by Tim the entire time they were together, so he just rubbed little circles into his back and sighed. "I dunno man. We should do something to take your mind off this."
Tim sat up as if he just suddenly realized he'd been crying all over his best friend. Conner could feel the embarrassed energy practically wafting from him as he said, "Sure. Yeah that– yeah."
"Let's see what Bart's up to. Have a guy night." Conner pulled out his phone, flicking it open to reveal two missed messages from Bart himself. "Looks like we're in luck! Seems he wants to meet up tonight anyway."
"Big Shack?"
Conner laughed, "Yeah, at the Big Shack. He's so predictable. He has good news apparently." He looked back over at Tim who seemed positively miserable and was also still in his work clothes. "Do you need to stop by your place first? Maybe get a change of clothes?"
Tim looked down at his shirt with his stupid little name tag pinned to it. He sighed and wiped his nose on the wrist of his sleeve. "I guess so. I– yeah. I can't get sauce on this, it's my last one."
"Alright." Conner gave Tim's knee a pat and stood up. "Let's get in the truck, I gotta go tell Ma I won't be here for dinner give me a second."
Tim nodded and headed to the door while Conner made his way deeper into the house. He found Martha Kent in the kitchen sorting through mail. "Hey Ma," he greeted her with a hug and let her ruffle his curly hair.
"Hi, Conner. You've got some mail today." She handed him an envelope with no return address.
Conner took the letter and started to open it, running his finger along the top and ripping open what didn't just naturally unfold. "I'm gonna be going out for dinner with Tim and Bart. Maybe Cassie too, but she hasn't responded to the text yet."
"Oh, that's too bad; Clark was planning on stopping by," Martha replied.
"Well, maybe it's a good thing then," Conner said dourly. The letter seemed to be some kind of invite. Conner wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at.
"Your father is a busy man. He does care about you though, despite what you think. He wants to see you. I…know you don't always get along, but it hurts his feelings when–"
"Ma," Conner interrupted. "Clark has had twenty one years of my life to be a busy man. I know you want us to be close, but that's something he's got to figure out. I've extended my olive branch again and again. You know that. I'm really not interested in having this conversation right now." He looked over the letter a little closer. Something from Lexcorp? What the hell? He crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage. The last thing he needed was to be put on some kind of spam mail list. "You can tell Clark I said hi. But, Tim's girlfriend broke up with him so we're gonna go out and have some guy time. You know."
Martha laughed at that, "and your little friend Cassie is invited to guy time?"
"Well, yeah. She's one of the guys." He gave his grandmother a cheeky grin. "I'll probably be home before eleven. I don't think Tim's up for a late night tonight."
She nodded her head and shooed him out of the kitchen. "Give us a call If that changes."
"Always do!" Conner waved goodbye and left.
Tim was waiting by the truck with his mask up and composure set like what he'd told Conner in the house had never happened. He placed his skateboard between them as he got in.
Their drive to Wayne manor was mostly quiet, filled by the wacky interjections of the afternoon radio DJ and sparse music set between long sections of commercials. Bart had once begged him to get a CD player in the truck; the cassette deck had broken long before Conner came into possession of it. He'd refused, both on the principle it was funny to see Bart so worked up over listening to commercials and the fact it frankly just didn't bother Conner that much.
"Wait, how'd you get to my house?" Conner asked after a few minutes of thinking. "You didn't ride your board did you?"
Tim just shrugged in the passenger seat. "Yeah."
"Tim!" Conner interjected. "From the mall!?"
"Yeah."
"That's like, way too far. What the hell?"
Tim didn't answer right away this time, choosing instead to rest his forehead against the window. "Only took about forty minutes. It's fine."
"Tim, at the risk of sounding like my grandma, it's not fine. It's practically all highways out here! You can get killed, like for real." Conner tightened his grip on the steering wheel, taking a careful breath before continuing." Just…call me next time."
Tim just stared out the window.
"Okay?" He prompted, stubborn in this even if Tim wasn't.
"Yeah sure."
They were coming up on the old Drake estate. The family that lived there now seemed nice. Tim hadn't met them, but he'd done his fair share of spying. That’s how Conner knew it was home to a young couple with three young kids, now. They were new money––app developers or something. It always caught Conner's attention that Tim seemed to hold his breath as they drove past.
Conner punched in the familiar code to the Wayne manor's front gates, waiting patiently as they slowly slid open. The driveway was a long straight shot, only curving around to make the path up the hill less steep. He parked the truck to the near side of the mansion, forgoing the designated parking area further down the drive. Tim climbed out and made his way inside quickly. Conner opted to stretch his legs instead of following him. Last thing he needed was to get roped up in a two hour Wayne family conversation.
After a few laps around his truck, he flipped his phone open again. Cassie had responded that she would be at the Big Shack as well. This would be nice, Other than the mopey Tim thing. Bart had good news too: it seemed like Cassie was excited to do something. It would be fun.
He heard the front door open and looked up expecting to see Tim, but was instead greeted by Dick. The older boy bounced as he held a little bundled Damian to his chest. "Hey Conner!" He called out. "You not gonna come say hi?"
Conner smiled and walked up the steps to the larger man, taking a peek at the little baby in his arms. "We're just stopping by so Tim can get a change of clothes. You heard about the uh…" he trailed off, not knowing if he should be the one to break the news to his friends' family.
"Heard about what?"
"Eh, don't worry about it. Is this Damian?"
Dick gave him a strange side-eye before hoisting the baby into the air Lion King style. "Yes, it is!"
Damian responded with a squeal that made Conner wince.
Bringing him back to his chest and clearly loving embrace, Dick asked, "You wanna hold him?"
"No. No, I'm good." Conner took a quick step back.
"You sure? He doesn't really cry or squirm or anything."
"I'm sure."
Dick pressed a fat kiss to the little baby's forehead "It's amazing such a good kid can come from two of the craziest people you've ever met."
Conner laughed, "Oh come on, I think that's giving your dad a little too much credit. Talia can't be that bad."
Dicks eyes could have bugged out of his head at that. "Have you met Talia?"
Conner didn't entirely know what to say about that. Because he…hadn't. Not really. But the amount of stories he heard from both Tim and Jason painted a very strange highly contrasting picture. "No."
"Don't worry about Talia man." Tim said as he stepped out of the door- clothes changed and hair done. A light amount of makeup done too if the fresh eyeliner was anything to go by. "Hey Dami-" Tim brought himself over to Dick and the baby, sticking a finger out for Damian to grab.
"Woah hey come on." Dick turned to keep Damian from Tim's reach. "You know babies are little germ machines, you shouldn't be messing with him."
"Whatever. I'll wash my hands when I get to the restaurant. You just want to keep the baby to yourself."
"I do. I also want you to be safe- go have fun. Get out of here." Dick waved them goodbye, grabbing one of damians chubby hands to make him wave too.
Back in the truck Conner couldn't help but laugh. "What is even going on in that house?"
The sigh that came out of Tim was so exhausted it seemed that may be a question he's been asking himself for a while. "The divorce is finalized. For real this time."
"Woah really?"
"Yeah- I mean. Talia is…she's cool. She's probably one of the most interesting people in the entire world but like… oh my god. She's so much. And Bruce- I don't know man. He's balancing all these different things and he keeps taking in kids and I think he's literally driving her insane. They're like- they're in love I guess but they're also the worst people in the entire world for each other. I'm not even going to get into her weird fuckin family, man."
"That's not uh…like. Culturally insensitive?"
Tim shrugged as Conner started the truck. "I don't think it's cultural so much as a cult."
Conner frowned. That sounded like a troubling thing to say but Tim has had a day of very high emotions, and probably didn't need him touching on that right now. "But they're divorced?"
Tim nodded. "Yeah. For real this time. She left the baby and I don't know if she's coming back for him. She has…visitation rights I think. I wasn't really paying attention. She's not…she's not my step mom. You know? Like- whatever she plans to do it'll affect Jason and Damian a lot more than it'll affect me or Dick."
Conner nodded and pulled away from the manor, driving past the gate which closed on his way out. "Do you ever wish she had been?" He knew that feeling. Watching Clark with Lois and Jon. They…could have been his family. They could have.
"God no." The answer was so clear and direct Conner knew there was absolutely truth behind it. "I never want to hear her and Bruce have screaming matches again. I will never be anything but a charity case to her. Believe me I've heard her say it. And the way she treats Dick…" he shook his head. "No, if I never see Talia again it will be fine. She was nice to me because she had to be- but never anything remotely like a mom. Step or otherwise."
Conner thought about that. What a strange relationship to form with someone. He needed to change the subject- at least Tim's mind was off of Tam. "You think Bart's gonna be there before us?"
Tim snorted, "I think Bart practically lives there. Yes- he'll be there before us. He was probably there when he texted us to come meet him. What do you think his news is?"
"Either he beat the record on that gross food competition thing Big Shack does again or… hmm…"
"What if he got a girlfriend." Tim made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "If Bart got a girlfriend the same day I got dumped I'm going to kill myself."
"Wh- really?" Conner asked.
"No. But it'll make me feel like shit. For real."
"That's kind of a messed up thing to say, Tim."
"I don't care. I'm feeling like a messed up thing right now."
"That's…fair. I'll hope it isn't that then." Conner cringed inwardly.
The Big Shack BBQ was for all intents and purposes an absolute shithole of a restaurant. It was their general meeting place because it was one of the few places in town that they could all hang out in for several hours without being asked to leave. The amount of money Bart alone spent on food there granted them some kind of backstage access for stupidity.
Bart was there, of course. His bike was chained up to one of the front posts of the restaurant like it lived there. Tim and Conner stepped inside and made their way over to the usual booth they had. It was in the corner allowing for all four of them to sit on the booth seats if they wanted while still having room for chairs if someone like Cissie or Jinny stopped by.
Bart and Cassie were snugged up together, watching something on Cassie's new phone. It was one of those where the whole screen was digital. Not even Tim had one yet. Bart looked transfixed at the screen as Cassie noticed them, shooting both boys a smile. "Hey guys!"
"Hey Cassie," Conner replied, Bending over to give her a hug and scoot into the booth next to her.
Tim gave a grunt and slid over to Bart's side, sidling up to him to look at whatever he was watching. After a cursory glance to realize it was some sports thing he quickly became disinterested and greeted Cassie properly. "Hey Cassie."
"Oh- Tim what's eating you?" Cassie asked. "Normally you don't start the non word answers until it's closer to bedtime haha"
"Tam broke up with me."
"Oh shit what?" Bart asked, letting his eyes drift from the phone.
"Oh Tim- I'm sorry." Cassie reached an arm across Bart's lap to pat Tim on the elbow.
"Yeah I- she-" Tim sighed. "I've explained it like three times now, this is exhausting. She's just like. Better than me, you know?"
"What? No man." Bart handed the phone back to Cassie. "I mean she's pretty fine don't get me wrong but you're not a bad guy. Is this cuz she went to college?"
"I guess so." Tim replied.
"It's probably because you work at the mall." Cassie replied.
Bart elbowed her in the ribs with a hiss. "You also work at the mall, Cassie."
Tim sighed and hung his head. Bart wrapped an arm around the back of his shoulders and brought him in for a hug. While Conner's embrace was warm and comforting, being held by Bart was sort of like being held by a firm bag of mail. He wasn't spindly necessarily but there wasn't enough meat on him to consider calling it soft. Tim didn't care either way, resting his head against Bart's shoulder as he got his back rubbed.
"I'm just saying," Cassie said again. "And not in an upsetting way- i'm not trying to hurt your feelings- but you yourself have said this was coming soon."
"I did." Tim replied. "Doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt though."
"Of course it hurts." Cassie ran a finger through his hair, brushing his silly too-long bangs out of his eyes. "Tam's the best. She's smart and gorgeous and funny. It's a miracle you two lasted as long as you did."
"Cassie!" Bart hissed while Conner tried to suppress a snort.
"No- no she's right Bart." Tim sighed. "I knew this was going to happen just- I. Augh. I have to get through it. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine!" He got off of Bart and sat up straight. "I've already cried like three times today. I'm over it. I hate this. I'm done with it. I'm done. No more Tam talk. Tam talk over."
"Tam talk over." Conner replied with a laugh. "Alright Bart-" He was going to change the subject if it killed him. "What is the official reason you brought us here today."
Bart whipped his hands out and stretched, cracking his knuckles then extending them backwards. "I have the best news of my whole life." He gave himself a drumroll on the table before announcing, "I am! Officially! Under sponsorship to run a marathon in Central."
Conner hesitated and shared a look with Tim. Neither one of them understood exactly what that meant but clearly Bart was happy about it so Conner grinned and said, "that's awesome man, what's uh… what's that entail exactly?"
"It means I'm going to get paid to run. Like for real."
"Oh what, that's reqlly good." Tim said. "That's like…that's actually really cool."
The door to the restaurant swung open with a Crack but none of them paid attention, too focused on the conversation.
"Are you on a team? Is there a jersey we can get with your name on it?" Cassie asked.
Bart hesitated, "well…no. Not really. At least- not yet. I don't think they really make stuff like that. But if they do, you'll be the first to know."
The hostess sitting at the bar screamed and ran to the back as the bartender froze in place. Cassie looked up from the conversation to see a horrible dirty looking man with a gas mask fumbling his way through the restaurant. She gasped and immediately grabbed the fronts of Conner and Bart's shirts, pulling them underneath the table with her. Tim followed very quickly.
They all froze, watching the pair of legs slowly trundle their way through the restaurant.
A pair of legs were fine. Legs were expected. Most people had legs. Most people did not have a swarm of filthy rodents following them at their heels. Cassie could feel Conner tensing up as the rats flooded into the restaurant, and it took all the self control any of them had not to freak the absolute fuck out.
Because on some level this was expected. It was only a matter of time before some freak in a mask with something to prove came around to ruin everyone's day. It happened all the time. Every day. Stories on stories on stories of weirdos like the Rat-catcher exerting power and making fear simply because they can.
They'd all seen it. They'd all lived with it. They were all tired of it. But what can you do?
Cassie tensed up and grit her teeth. Who was the Rat-catcher, really? "Just a man." She muttered under her breath.
She'd gotten suspended from school once for beating up a guy. He'd deserved it for picking on an underclassmen. And she had beat him– she'd beat the absolute snot out of him. With guidance from her teachers she sent that energy into football tryouts instead (where she excelled spectacularly) but she never forgot that feeling.
That rush of doing the right thing. The feeling of a nose crumpling underneath her fist. The sense of satisfaction of the poor kid looking up at her in awe after she was done with the pulp of a man.
She crawled forwards from underneath the table. She pushed Conner's hands off of her as she stood up and grabbed one of the horrible rodents, flinging it directly into the back of Rat-catcher's head.
The Rat-catcher, reasonably, turned around as quickly as anyone would after being smacked in the back of the head with a live rat. Anyone in the Rat-catchers position would also probably not have expected a six foot tall ripped twenty two year old woman with extensive football practice to come barreling directly at them from underneath a table and tackle them directly to the floor.
The Rat-catcher had his chemical weapons and fancy little gadgets and hoard of mind controlled rats.
Cassie had her fists and two decades of pent up aggression. Conner followed quickly after, focusing more on the monster hoard of rats while Tim and Bart simply watched from under the table— grabbing at each other in sheer panic and kicking out at the rats making their way underneath the table.
Conner kicked one of them- sending it flying away from Cassie's direction before turning back to the two under the table and screamed, "HELLO!? HELP!"
Bart and Tim moved then, Bart going whole hog on kicking rats while Tim opted to grab a pool cue, swinging like a golf club as he moved to the back of the restaurant. He grabbed a glance at Cassie as he went, giving her a thumbs up as she walloped the guy's face in. She did not notice.
The hostess had run to the back which meant other people were back here- yes. Tim smacked more rats from the floor with the pool cue and swore under his breath at the bites. This was going to be a bad time later he already knew. But there were other patrons in the restaurant– a family and the bartender. He motioned to them to follow him and tried his best to keep the path clear. While the family was clearly not about any of the rat smashing going on the bartender was getting with the program following Bart and Conner's lead.
The Rat-catcher lay limp on the floor as Cassie stood up. She watched Tim escort the family out the back. She watched Conner and Bart kick the shit out of rats. She watched the other rats scurry out of the Big Shack– whatever hold the Rat-catcher had on them slowly leaving their strange little brains.
She stood over the pulp of the Rat-catcher and smiled. This was… this was easy? This was so easy. This was the easiest thing she'd ever done. And it felt good to do it. The family was safe, the Rat-catcher would probably go to jail, the Big Shack would… it would probably acquire an automatic health code violation for being full of rats but it wasn't the restaurant's fault.
Tim fumbled his way back into the dining area, looking over at Conner and Bart in silence. They in turn were both looking at Cassie.
And Cassie, bless her, looked like she had an idea.