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It took Noé a long time to realize what the feeling was.
It had been there from the start, he realized later, ever since he saw the red rose Marked upon Vanitas’s skin.
He first felt shock upon seeing it. After all, despite his desire to save the vampires as part of his revenge, Vanitas had made his distaste for vampires clear. Even with his Mark that proved his place in the Blue Moon Clan, it was surprising he’d allow any other vampire to come close enough to bite him.
And yes, Noé knew the situation was dire. Jeanne was losing control and not in her right mind. Given his expression on that chandelier, Vanitas probably also wasn’t in a good state either. In any case, Vanitas let Jeanne bite him and drink his blood.
Which probably would’ve been fine except she also Marked him.
Noé didn’t even know you could do that by accident.
Jeanne laid claim on Vanitas and his blood, which only one vampire had been able to do previously.
It sent strange pangs through his heart.
That it bothered Noé was his second realization upon seeing it.
He wasn’t quite sure why that was at first. Still, Jeanne running off with Vanitas immediately after the reveal had made his guts twist. He hadn’t liked the thought of those two alone together considering that the last time had led to her Marking Vanitas. So he quickly finished off both his and Vanitas’s tarte tatin so he could follow.
His conclusion while he searched for them had been that he was jealous that Jeanne had gotten to Vanitas’s blood before he could.
At the time, that had made the most sense to him. Vanitas’s blood smelt delicious, so it probably tasted delicious and Jeanne had gotten to taste some. In fact, with her Mark, she claimed dibs on that blood for herself.
Even before he formally asked, part of him at the time had known that Vanitas probably wouldn’t let him easily drink it. His abilities were usually enough to make him hesitate over drinking from someone new, but for a brief shining second, he’d let himself think about asking Vanitas if he could drink his blood and actually being allowed to do so.
Now, of course, he knew that wouldn’t happen. Vanitas had too many secrets that he was willing to either kill someone or die trying in order to protect.
But at the time, Noé didn’t know that.
He had determined he was jealous.
Now Noé felt he had to amend that a bit.
Something had shifted in Gévaudan, and Noé didn’t know what.
Vanitas said that Jeanne drinking his blood had felt different. That Jeanne herself had made him feel different than he ever had before.
Noé ignored that at the time in favor of focusing on Vanitas, but that thought lurked at the back of his mind.
He didn’t think it was just the blood he was jealous of.
It started with blood and a Mark, but it felt like it was deeper than that now.
Noé didn’t like Jeanne’s Mark.
Vanitas didn’t flaunt the Mark, not like he did that first day, and he dressed as conservatively as he did eccentrically, so it wasn’t like Noé saw it all that often. He only got glimpses of it on the rare occasions he caught Vanitas in the middle of changing his clothes.
Yet every time he saw it, he could feel his chest burn.
Jeanne had claimed Vanitas in a way that Noé couldn’t. It didn’t matter that he was the one who stayed by Vanitas’s side. That he’d met Vanitas first. That he chose to support Vanitas while she was still antagonizing them.
The Mark was a reminder that Jeanne simply got to have Vanitas in a way Noé never would.
She got Vanitas’s blood.
If she asked, Noé was sure that Vanitas would give her even more than that.
And it certainly seemed that she claimed Vanitas’s heart.
Noé wasn’t quite sure what he was jealous of the most.
Or at least, he was fairly certain this was jealousy.
Jealousy that tore through his heart and stole the breath from his lungs when he saw the two together.
Jealousy that made his stomach sink when Vanitas teasingly espoused her virtues, even though he hadn’t done it as much since Gévaudan and the amusement park.
Jealousy that deepened that dislike of her Mark into a more intense burn that Noé thought might just be hatred.
Jealousy that made him want to rip that stupid Mark from Vanitas’s flesh until it was completely gone and replace it with something else, perhaps his own —
“Noé? Is something wrong?”
Noé jolted from his thoughts, rapidly returning to awareness. Vanitas frowned up at him, his head tilted back to see him from where he loomed over the doctor seated at the desk.
Noé hadn’t even realized he’d moved.
At the lack of a response, Vanitas’s frown deepened and his brow furrowed. He set down his pen and stuffed papers into the book he’d been studying before he shifted to better look at Noé head-on.
“Noé?”
He jumped at having Vanitas’s attention on him. He’d gotten lost in looking at Vanitas again.
“Ah, sorry.” Noé blinked as he tried to sort himself. “I was just thinking.”
Vanitas’s eye twitched. “Is it really that hard?”
Noé scowled, and without conscious thought, his eyes drifted down once more to where he knew Jeanne’s Mark lay beneath Vanitas’s clothes.
Vanitas had returned smelling like blood today. Jeanne had sent for him and he went running to her, though it was obvious that she only wanted one thing from him. Something about that irritated Noé and set off this tirade of negativity in him.
He hated it.
And Vanitas’s blood still lingered in the air like a cruel temptation.
“Did you clean the wound?” Noé asked instead of addressing any of what was in his head. When Vanitas’s face scrunched in confusion, he continued, “Vanitas, I can smell the blood.”
Vanitas’s face turned bright red and his hand jerked up towards his neck before he stopped it. “Right…” He sounded as if someone had tried strangling him. “I’ll take care of that. Sorry.” Without another word, he scurried to the bathroom.
Which left Noé alone.
Noé flopped over onto his bed and pressed hands against his face.
Why had he drawn attention to it?
Why had he gotten so close to Vanitas in the first place?
What was he trying to do?
And what had he been thinking?
Noé released a breath slowly as he tried to take back control of his emotions.
It was fine.
It was all fine.
Noé could deal with it.
He had to.
Or else he’d lose what little claim he had on Vanitas.