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“Chenle, can you come a little closer?” Jisung asks Chenle – while adjusting the camera. Chenle moves forward. Jisung refocuses the camera – centering it on Chenle rather than the open pavilion in the background.
“Better?” There’s a curious look on Chenle’s face – that’s just so adorable that Jisung can’t help but smile.
Jisung gives him a thumbs up.
“I’m gonna start recording now,” Jisung says, Chenle nods before he gives a big smile. “Philo197 Intro Take 8”
“Hi, everybody!” Chenle enthusiastically says right in front of the camera. “I’m Chenle – for our Philo 197 final presentation, we would be inviting random strangers to sit here and write a love letter to someone they are currently or was in love with. After writing the letter, they would have the option of either sending the letter to the person it’s written to, or they would be leaving it for another stranger to read.”
There’s a proud feeling booming from Jisung’s lips while Chenle recites the script word for word and without a hitch.
Chenle then points at the two stacks of envelope placed on the table in front of him, “If they decide send the letter for the person it was written to, then they would put it on the envelopes labeled as lover, and if it’s the latter – then they would put it on the envelopes with stranger printed on them.”
“Cut!” Jisung smiles, “That’s the best take.”
“Of course, that’s the best take,” Chenle huffs, “You kept on screwing up the first seven takes.”
“It’s because you were making me nervous!”
“It’s because you were making me nervous!” Chenle copies Jisung's voice – he mocks it by making his voice way too deep and nasal. “Sit here while I look for random strangers.” Chenle then stands up and then hunches down until he’s face to face with Jisung. “Can you manage to be here on your own while hyung looks for respondents?” Chenle pitches his voice higher and his tone is sickly sweet that it makes Jisung gag.
His reaction prompts a laugh from Chenle, the latter takes their flyers before he goes.
“Can you grab me something to drink?” Jisung asks instead of a goodbye and Chenle flips him off.
While waiting, Jisung pockets his hand and fiddles on the envelope inside it.
It didn’t take long for Chenle to come back, a plastic bag in one hand and another person in tow – that’s not much of a surprise because Chenle is a natural when it comes to talking to people.
“Jisung I found the first respondent!” Chenle says while handing Jisung the plastic bag, it has three bottles of Jisung’s favorite milk tea brand. “This is Mark. I found him at seven eleven.”
“Hey,” Mark greets.
“Hi,” Jisung greets back. He beacons Mark to sit at the chair. “Did Chenle already explain our little project?”
“Of course, I did!” Chenle complains, while he settles beside Jisung – away from the camera.
“He explained the gist of it,” Mark says before he picks up the pen and starts to twirl it.
Jisung laughs, “Okay, Mark-ssi – we’re going to start the recording now.” Mark gives them a nod.
“Please introduce yourself,” Chenle instructs.
Mark does as told, “Hi I’m Mark from the Engineering Department.”
“Mark from the Engineering Department,” Mark laughs at Chenle’s words. Jisung finds himself fighting down a smile as well. “Are you currently in love right now?”
There’s a pause in Mark’s face before a faint blush takes over. “I think so,” he says, rubbing his nape.
“Would you mind writing them a love letter?”
“Like a confession?” There’s some shyness in his tone and Chenle and Jisung find it endearing. “It’s up to you,” Chenle answers. “There’s pen and paper there – if you’re up to it.”
Mark looks at the paper, pen still twirling in his hand, “Yeah, I’m down.” But it didn’t feel like he was answering Chenle – it was more of words he’s saying to himself. Mark grabs the notepad and starts writing.
Jisung watches Mark while he opens up a bottle of the milk tea Chenle brought him. He hands the opened bottle over to Chenle, still looking at Mark. “I can open it on my own,” there’s no bite – just Chenle and his bratty self.
“I know,” Jisung whispers before he opens one for himself.
Jisung finds Mark amusing – you can read exactly what he’s thinking just by looking at his face. A smile creeps in on Jisung face – Chenle did find good respondents for their project.
“What are you smiling at,” Chenle whispers harshly against Jisung’s ear. With a smile, “Mark’s cute.” He says before he looks at Chenle.
Chenle face falls – he pouts, and it makes his cheeks so fluffy. Jisung can’t help but reach out and pinch his cheeks because Chenle really is a cat. “You’re cuter though.”
“Sounds about right,” Chenle says before he swats Jisung’s hand away.
“Okay,” Mark closes back the cap of the ballpen with a snap. “I think I’m done. Okay, so – do you see the stacks of envelopes there?” Chenle points out and Mark nods – Chenle then proceeds to explain about the Lover or Stranger envelopes.
Unlike a while ago, Mark’s face is clouded.
“We’ll be the ones that will send it, just write in his address,” Jisung adds.
It looks like a hundred different emotions are fighting on his face. He looks down at what he wrote, before he decides. “I’ll send it,” Mark reaches down and takes an envelope from the lover pile.
“We have another request though,” Chenle asks while Mark is folding up his letter. “Is it okay if you read it?”
This time Mark just laughs it off before he agrees. Mark clears his throat and holds the letter up to read. “Hi.”
No words follow which makes Chenle say, “Having second guesses?”
This pulls Mark from his stupor, and he shakes his head. “No. He deserves someone that doesn’t hesitate.”
Chenle grins with the answer.
“Hi,” Mark lets out a deep breath before he continues. “This might be the most random thing, but I went to church last Sunday – and the minister was talking about how people would often pray to have only good things in life. But life doesn’t work like that.”
Jisung and Chenle are so entranced with Mark’s words, it almost felt holy.
“Only praying for good things is fruitless. It’s impossible to only have good things in life. Pain, heartbreak, and hurt – it’s inevitable. So, instead of praying for only good things – the minister suggested that we should pray to have strength.
We should pray to have the strength to deal with all the bad things life will send our way. Or at least, to have enough strength to anticipate that it will pass.
But what I find funny, is that even then – I found myself praying for you.
Praying to be with you.
You are the reasons why I made promises to God to be the best version of myself.
You, Lee Donghyuck, are my best friend, the love of my life.
You are my strength.
Mark.”
Mark ends it so quietly but sincerely, Chenle and Jisung are gob smacked with the genuineness of his letter.
“Wow,” Jisung claps slowly. “That was…” Jisung can’t find the words and so does Chenle. “I’m rooting for you,” It sounds so stupid that Mark and Chenle burst out laughing.
They managed to get a few more respondents after that.
Most opt for the stranger pile.
Which was understandable – the fear of rejection surpasses the pain of loving from afar.
Their next respondent was a guy named Jeno. He’s such a jolly and smiley person which is why it came as a shock that he too opted for the stranger pile.
“He really looks like a puppy,” Chenle whispers, chin resting on Jisung’s shoulders while Jisung’s fingers are playing on the tattered strings from the rip of Chenle’s pants. They both watch Jeno unfold the letter Chenle gave him.
Jeno might have heard Chenle because he smiles and proceeds to first read the letter silently before he reads it out loud.
“To my dearest, my darling, my greatest what if,
I have so many things I want to say to you, my love. But I guess I’m taking the coward’s way out again.” The somber tone blends well with the rasp of Jeno’s voice.
“It would be a lie if I say that it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Thoughts of us hunt me day and night. I would often find myself asking myself, ‘what if I confessed?’ – would you have stayed if you knew I was in love with you too? Would you come back if you knew that I’m still in love with you?
Maybe, you loved me too early, and I loved you too late,” Jeno sighs and Chenle follows. “It sucks because it seems like timing has won again. But please know, my darling, that there’s someone that would leave their entire world for you – you don’t even have to ask.” There’s a sad smile on Jeno’s face, before he neatly folds the paper back.
“What do you think of that,” Chenle asks.
“I don’t know,” Jeno starts. “The concept of ‘the perfect timing’ for love to work – I don’t quite believe in it.” Jisung hums, equal parts intrigued and interested. “I think it’s just an excuse. We’ve put too much importance in it. I respect what the anonymous person means – but the way I see it,” Jeno pauses to wet his lips and ponder his next words. “There’s no distant future where everything would magically fall into place and you and the one, you’re pining for, would finally get the chance to let love grow. Love needs a lot of risk.”
Jeno continues, “It’s not black and white, but If you love someone, you tell them.”
“Then why did you put your letter on the anonymous pile?”
“Well,” Jeno swallows, “It’s a different case if the one that you love is already taken.”
They started out early in the morning and now it’s late in the afternoon.
Chenle fixes the envelopes that they have to send out – he looks like a little kid because he’s drowning in Jisung’s jacket.
While Jisung is busy triple checking if they have enough footage for their presentation.
Jaemin, a med student, sits on the chair and reads out his letter.
“To Renjun,
I love you.
Are you surprised? That makes the both of us,” Chenle giggles at that. Jaemin breaks into a smile and proceeds on reading. “I love you the moment you smiled at me—”
“Okay enough,” Jisung tries to cut but to no avail.
“—You make a year together feel like a second and a second apart feel like a year.”
Chenle cringes, “That’s the cheesiest shit I heard all day.”
Undeterred, Jaemin continues. “–You are my very definition of love—”
“Na Jaemin stop it already,” Renjun enters the scene, he puts down bags and bags of take out on the table. Like a cat seeing his toy, Jaemin stands up and immediately latches onto Renjun – he back hugs him: hands wrapped around his waist and chin tucked on his shoulders.
“You should’ve taken me with you,” Jaemin fake cries, Renjun is busy taking out the food. Chenle immediately tries to sort it out, handing Jisung his food first before he proceeds with the rest. “Chenle and Jisung kept on telling me off – they don’t want me as their respondent.”
“Hyung – first, you’re not a stranger,” Chenle lists out, chopsticks busy while he takes out the spicy part from Jisung’s plate. Jisung tries to get a platter of dumplings for Chenle and it almost slips – Chenle gives an exasperated sigh – fingers massaging his temple.
“My hands are sweaty!” Jisung explains, but Chenle waves him off and then proceeds with his list, “Second, you’re literally dating Renjun hyung.”
Renjun smiles at that, he presses a kiss on Jaemin’s cheek before he shoos him away to grab a chair.
“He kept on making love letters for you, it’s so ridiculous.” Chenle complains.
“He forgot to take his walk today, that's why he’s…” Renjun trails off, not really knowing his punchline. “Well, you guys get it.”
Jaemin flashes Jisung a shark like grin, “I’m just trying to hype up Jisungie,” He reaches out to ruffle Jisung’s hair, Jaemin stands from where he’s sitting and then goes behind the camera, they use to record their respondents.
Chenle blinks in confusion, “Hyung what are you doing there? The food will get cold.”
Jisung swipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. “Chenle, can you give me the envelope in your pocket.” Confused, Chenle reaches down and finds a tiny envelope in Jisung’s jacket.
Jisung takes it and then sits at the respondent’s chair. Eyes locked on the envelope in his hand.
“Jisungie,” Renjun calls out, “Are you ready?”
For a moment, Jisung grows scared – he finds himself doubting if he should do it.
He can’t look at them – he can’t even raise his head.
He deserves someone that doesn’t hesitate.
Jisung nods, he slowly opens the envelope and unfolds the letter.
If you love someone, you tell them.
“To my sky,” Jisung peers up and looks directly at Chenle.
There’s shock in Chenle’s eyes – Jisung almost did not notice the flecks of relief embedded in it.
“I didn’t know when it started.
I kept on thinking about what could’ve prompted all of this.
Maybe it was when it was during one of our many nights tucked in the tiny café on 12th street, studying together – and then you yawned, and you were too cute that I couldn't take my eyes off you. Or whenever I would always find you waiting for me outside of the dance studio.
Maybe it was during the time you caught a fever and you kept on whining that you would end up dying since I was the only one left to take care of you – but you would throw an even bigger tantrum whenever I would have to leave your side.
Or all those times you would invite me over because you cooked too much food but it was a poorly concealed excuse for me to do the dishes. Or the time your team won the basketball championships, and your first instinct was to find me in the crowd and hug me. Maybe it was all the times you had to drink my shot because you didn’t want to take care of the drunk me.
Or that one time when I woke up with your hair right on my face and my right shoulder was cramping because you thought that it was a better pillow—”
“It’s because all you had was cheap shit,” Chenle snaps, Jisung looks up and smiles – Chenle is blushing so hard, even when he petulantly crosses his arms across his chest.
It’s so cute.
“But it was okay because I get to see you sleeping serenely in my arms.
Maybe it was during the freshman assembly – when I was shyly standing on the side while you were captivating everyone with your presence and energy. I didn’t know you back then but I decided that it would be better if we remain as strangers. But I guess you had other plans. A ‘stranger’ is not a label you were willing to accept – that’s why you came in and said hello. Maybe back then, I didn’t have any other option but to fall in love.
Or maybe it was when our psychology professor announced the topic for our final project, and I decided that it was finally the time for me to confess.
To my Zhong Chenle,
If I’m being honest, I didn’t know when I started falling in love with you. It doesn’t matter anymore because I don’t plan on stopping.
Your earth,
Park Jisung.”
Jisung ends it with the brightest smile, Renjun and Jaemin howling and clapping at the side – Jaemin in particular making kissy faces.
Jisung stands and slowly walks to Chenle, he ignores his hyungs. Chenle's usually pale skin has turned beet red.
“That’s so cheesy,” Chenle stands up and paws on Jisung’s chest. Chenle’s not meeting Jisung’s eyes.
Jisung cups Chenle’s jaw, “Was it?”
“Yeah,” Jisung reaches up to fix Chenle's bangs, there's a defiant pout on Chenle's lips. “What if I don't answer?”
"I don't even mind that you don't answer," Chenle still resists looking at him, even when Jisung lets their foreheads touch.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” That’s only when Chenle finally meets his eyes before he closes it. Jisung takes it as a yes before he leans down and kisses Chenle.
It was chaste – a little too sweet, their lips slightly chapped from the wind. Just when Jisung tilts Chenle’s head – he feels a hand on his shoulder pulling him back.
“You can kiss your boyfriend later,” Renjun commands. “Right now, we should eat before the food goes cold and I have to deal with an underfed rabid Jaemin.”
They both laugh, before Jisung steals another kiss.