Chapter Text
An aggressive knock on her bedroom door worsens Chaewon’s throbbing headache. She groans into her pillow, then takes a moment to put on her leader voice.
“What is it?” She says as sweetly as she can muster.
“Pupu!”
It’s Yunjin. She should have been able to tell from the sheer volume of the knock, but if that’s not enough there’s her best friend’s unnecessarily loud speaking voice and that annoying nickname. Pupu . Whatever happened to cute nicknames like Chaewonnie?
“Pupu, come out!” Yunjin shouts, pounding on the door again, “Manchae wants to play a game!”
Chaewon ignores her because every word out of Yunjin’s mouth is echoing around her head like a pinball machine. Why is her friend so damn loud?
“Kkura and Zuha are here!” Yunjin adds. Chaewon surmises that the other girl isn’t planning to give up anytime soon.
“Come in,” She calls, and the door opens revealing Jennifer Huh in a tank top and boxers. She insists this is what passes for pajamas in America, but Chaewon’s not quite sure.
“Come on,” Yunjin crosses over to the bed where Chaewon is sprawled, “We’re all hanging out.”
“I can’t,” Chaewon murmurs, “Headache.”
Yunjin reaches out a hand to brush Chaewon’s bangs out of her face. It’s only when her bangs don’t cooperate that Chaewon realizes how sweaty she is. Yunjin seems to realize too and kneels on the floor so the two girls are face to face.
“I don’t want you locked in here suffering alone,” Yunjin’s eyes search Chaewon’s for a hint at why she’s sick and sweaty and moody, “Come on out. We won’t be too loud, I promise.”
Chaewon knows not being loud isn’t even an option for her members. Still, she offers her hand to Yunjin who helps pull her out of bed. Chaewon’s surprised at the gentleness with which Yunjin handles her. The younger girl usually has more energy than she knows what to do with it, and most of it goes into slapping and shoving Chaewon whenever Yunjin erupts into one of her laughing fits. Now, though, Yunjin is smoothing Chaewon’s hair and straightening her pajamas with a touch as light as a feather. With Yunjin fussing over her like this, Chaewon suddenly feels awkward. She turns away and heads out into the common area of the dorm.
Just as Yunjin promised, the other members are already there. Sakura and Kazuha are cuddling on the couch while Eunchae sits on the floor. Yunjin takes the last spot on the couch and Chaewon frowns.
“You beg me to come out and make me sit on the floor?” She jokes. Yunjin pats her lap and there’s that awkward feeling again. Chaewon has been standoffish for the past few days, but she didn’t expect to be so uncomfortable around her members after just a few days not interacting with them at every moment. She sits on Yunjin’s lap and tries to relax, leaning her head back on Yunjin’s shoulder and feeling the other girl’s arms wrap around her waist.
She glances up at Yunjin and sees the other girl eyeing her with a weird expression.
“Are you uncomfortable?” Yunjin asks softly. Chaewon shakes her head. She doesn’t see this side of Yunjin a lot. The Yunjin who is capable of speaking below a shout. The Yunjin that moves her head ever so slightly so Chaewon can find a more comfortable spot in the crook of her neck even though Chaewon said she was fine.
Eunchae claps her hands, wearing the huge smile that means she’s about to say something cute or stupid. “Let’s play truth or dare,” Eunchae suggests. The other members groan because, of course, the rest of them are out of high school.
“Come on,” Eunchae complains, “It’ll be fun. Or, let’s play truth or watermelon.”
“Truth or watermelon?” Kazuha repeats.
“Ah,” says Yunjin, “This is a game I’m interested in.” Chaewon smiles and nestles her head closer to Yunjin. The soft rising and falling of the younger girl’s chest is enough to calm her headache a little bit.
“It’s like truth or dare,” Eunchae explains, “Except when you ask a question everyone in the circle has to answer.”
“Okay,” Yunjin claps and the noise ruins the calm feeling Chaewon had a moment before, “Let’s play!”
Eunchae’s smile widens, “Okay, I’ll ask the first question. Have you ever kissed anyone?” This elicits another groan from the older members. “I haven’t,” Eunchae answers first.
“Me neither,” Says Kazuha.
“I have,” Sakura smiles shyly.
Yunjin gasps, “Ah, really?” Chaewon is glad that her friend is back to her normal loud self, even if it’s at the expense of Chaewon’s peace.
“As part of HKT48,” Sakura hastily explains, “We had to kiss the other girls for movies and performances and stuff. Being an idol in Japan is really different in that way.”
“On the lips?” Kazuha looks terrified at the thought of it.
Sakura blushes, “Not a real kiss. Just a quick one. But yes, I guess I’ve kissed someone.”
“I haven’t,” Chaewon answers.
“I have,” Yunjin says. Now it’s Chaewon’s turn to gasp.
She gently headbutts Yunjin’s shoulder with her head, “You never told me that.”
“You never asked!” Yunjin protests.
“Who? Who? Who?” Eunchae waves her arms in excitement.
“A boy in America,” Yunjin is smiling widely, not embarrassed the way the rest of the members are by the topic of kissing, “Before I moved back here to be a trainee, there was a boy that liked me and he kissed me after school one day.”
The members are squealing, clapping, and stomping at the story. Chaewon closes her eyes, trying to calm the throb inside her head.
“What did it feel like?” Kazuha asks, mouth hanging open.
Yunjin shrugs, taking Chaewon’s head up and down with the movement of her shoulder, “It felt how you’d think it would feel. I didn’t feel anything special and magical. I didn’t like him that much. Maybe it would be different with someone you’re really in love with.”
The other girls sigh dreamily at the thought of it. Chaewon thinks it's kind of sad that she’s 22 and never been kissed, but that’s what she signed up for when she became an idol. Love will have to wait until she’s retired.
“I have a question now,” Sakura interrupts the romantic daze that has settled over the group, “Which of the members would you go out with if you were a boy?” It’s the same question Sakura asked in Iz*one years ago. Chaewon wonders if Sakura’s fondness for this type of question comes from her time as a Japanese idol.
“Kazuha,” Eunchae answers, “She’s pretty and girly, but she’s also so funny.”
“I would pick Chaewon,” Kazuha says shyly, “‘She can be cute but she can also be cool and tough. I think I’d like how she has different sides to her.” Chaewon blushes at Kazuha’s honesty. It’s strange talking about other girls in this way.
“I’d date Kazuha,” Sakura answers, “We’re both more reserved. We would go together well.”
Chaewon thinks about it for a second, chewing on her lip. “I’d date Yunjin,” She finally answers, “She’s so different from most girls in Korea. She’s so carefree. I think it would be exciting to date her. If I was a boy.” She adds the last part a little late and feels the blush rising to her cheeks, but Yunjin doesn’t seem to notice.
“I’m very exciting,” Yunjin agrees, reaching up the arm that isn’t supporting Chaewon’s head to squish the older girl’s cheeks.
“What about you?” Chaewon asks softly.
“Kazuha,” Yunjin answers immediately.
“Ah, Kazuha is so popular,” Sakura smiles at the girl in question.
“We’ll all have to fight over her,” Eunchae jokes.
“She’s mine,” Yunjin raises a fist as if threatening the youngest girl. Chaewon rolls her eyes. Her members can overdo it at times. While they erupt into noise around her, she closes her eyes and relaxes into the crook of Yunjin’s neck. She feels Yunjin’s hand come up to stroke her hair. She doesn’t notice that she’s falling asleep until her own name jolts her awake.
“Is Chaewon okay?” Eunchae asks. Chaewon blinks her eyes open. The youngest is looking at her worriedly. Chaewon does feel very sweaty. She hopes it's not a fever, being sick will mess up their whole promotional schedule.
“I think our Pupu isn’t feeling her best,” Yunjin says gently, left hand still stroking Chaewon’s hair.
“I’m just tired,” Chaewon murmurs.
“And sweaty,” Yunjin adds. Chaewon softly headbutts her again.
“Let’s let her sleep now,” Sakura suggests. Chaewon tries to get up off of Yunjin’s lap but the younger girl holds her back. She turns Chaewon a little bit so their bodies are perpendicular and tucks one arm under Chaewon’s legs and one under her back.
“Ah, Yunjin,” Chaewon complains, but Yunjin is already lifting her up and carrying her towards her bedroom. Chaewon marvels at her friend’s strength, holding tight to Yunjin although she knows the younger girl would never drop her. Yunjin sets Chaewon gently in bed, wrestling the blankets out from under her and tucking her in.
“I’m so sweaty,” Chaewon murmurs, fighting sleep, “I need to shower.”
“You’ll shower tomorrow morning,” Yunjin’s hand cups Chaewon’s cheek, warm on her already overheated face but so soft that Chaewon doesn’t mind. “How about you take a day off tomorrow?” The younger girl suggests.
“Why?” Chaewon mumbles, “It’s just a little headache. I’ll sleep it off.”
“Chae, you’ve been acting differently all week. You don’t have to tell me what it is, but I know something’s wrong.”
“I’m fine,” Chaewon insists. Yunjin doesn’t answer, just looks at Chaewon with her head tilted to the side like she’s thinking about something. Chaewon blushes under her friend’s gaze, looking at her own hands instead of Yunjin’s piercing eyes.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Yunjin decides. She leans down to give Chaewon a feather-light kiss on the cheek before turning to go.
“Wait,” Chaewon says so softly she’s not sure if Yunjin hears. The younger girl turns around and suddenly it’s like Chaewon is seeing Yunjin for the first time. Her blonde hair and dark eyes and soft pink lips. Her collarbones disappearing into her lacy white tank top. Her tight stomach just barely showing above the waistband of her boxers. Suddenly, she’s someone Chaewon doesn’t know at all. Someone who kisses boys and is strong enough to carry Chaewon around like it’s nothing. Someone who’s just as loud as the Huh Yunjin that Chaewon knows, but can also be so quiet. Chaewon doesn’t know what to make of the strange girl standing in front of her.
“Stay until I fall asleep?” Chaewon whispers.
Yunjin nods and sits lightly on the side of Chaewon’s bed, her presence calming Chaewon as she allows herself to drift off into sleep.