THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES

OF THE BRITISH ISLES

BY THE STRAIGHT LINE AND THE CIRCLE

To the UNKNOWABLE                 ,

AS YOU HAVE ORDERED AND INSTRUCTED ME TO DO, I have written here the annual report of the Department, containing a summary of the deeds, achievements, and failures of we who are Unspeakable during the period of Time beginning at the sunset of 31 October, 1989 and ending at the sunset of 31 October, 1990, and I have delivered this report to You.

IN MATTERS OF THE SEVENTH MYSTERY, we proceed much as we did last year. The Department’s budget, of course, remains the same, and there are no signs that we will need to open the Vaults. The students of the Seventh Mystery are enacting the Plan for the Alteration, Newbirth, and Gnosis of Opinions in Light of Internal Needs most admirably, and at time of writing, the Department’s Intrigue-Fear Ratio stands at 0.53, well within P.A.N.G.O.L.I.N. parameters. Additionally, all prognostications indicate that the new Minister will pose no problems to the Department; interaction in general is expected to be minimal, notwithstanding any orders from You to the contrary.

IN MATTERS OF THE SIXTH MYSTERY, there are two subjects of note. The first subject is the Montague Experiment: Subject Di, also known as Graham Montague, is entering Stage IV of development (studies at Hogwarts), which is an exciting new step for the study. Additionally, in February and March of 1990, Subjects El and Pola (a.k.a. Lawrence Montague and Rosalind Montague, respectively) spent an entire lunation without consuming Amortentia, the longest such period in the Experiment’s history. The results from this lunation - a period of nigh-catatonic depression - seems to confirm the Department’s hypothesis on the nature of Amortentia’s side-effects on long-term imbibers. All signs indicate that efforts to ensure Subject Di’s ignorance of Subjects El and Pola’s status during the lunation were entirely successful. The Sixth Mystagogue will have delivered to You the full report on the lunation when You read this report. The second subject is the matter of the hypothesis submitted to the Department by Chief Warlock Dumbledore, that the Sixth Mystery is a key part of how the Boy Who Lived survived a Killing Curse from the Dark Lord. Efforts to gain access to the Boy Who Lived, unfortunately, have so far remained unfruitful. I have issued a directive, subject to Your approval, that our resources be directed away from finding the Boy Who Lived and instead towards preparing to observe him at Hogwarts, which he will attend starting in September of 1991, a bit under a year from the time of this report. Methods of testing the Chief Warlock’s hypothesis are being proposed, discussed, debated, and dueled over by the students of the Sixth Mystery; the minutes of such proceedings have been, are being, and will be delivered to You as soon as they have been completed, are completed, or will be completed.

IN MATTERS OF THE FIFTH MYSTERY, the interviews with the Vat-Brains continue apace. This reporting period has, impressively, seen a record low number of Vat-Brains realizing that they are, in fact, Vat-Brains. Most likely, it is the Unspeakable Broderick Bode, and his recent Legilimency classes, who can be thanked for this. Unfortunately, this success is not omnipresent in regards to the Fifth Mystery; the efforts at producing viable fused minds have consistently failed, with little change in the time before the backlash annihilates the joined minds. I have informed the Unspeakable Philomena Silverberry that, unless I receive an order or instruction from You to the contrary, that if the data does not improve by the conclusion of the reporting period following this one, the mind fusion attempts shall be suspended indefinitely. I await Your will on the matter.

IN MATTERS OF THE FOURTH MYSTERY, studies of divinatory and astrological anomalies have led the students of the Fourth Mystery to the conclusion that there exists a planet upon the fringes of our Solar System, distant enough that we have proven unable to physically observe it, and yet near enough to have some noticeable effect on higher-order astrological divination. Currently, I have directed that information be gathered on this planet, so that the students of the Fourth Mystery might construct and add a model of this planet to the Orrery. As of now, the students of the Fourth Mystery remain divided evenly on the name this new planet is to be given. The deadlock has remained constant through eighty-one rounds of discussion, the minutes of which have been written out and delivered to You. I await Your discretion as to the planet’s name. I also await your discretion as to the approval of a proposal, which will have been written out and delivered to You by the time of this report’s writing, by the Unspeakable Lorenzo Ebon, for the expansion of the Department’s facilities into the celestial sphere, by means of the development of incendiary-powered broom, which would deliver into the heavens a Stationary Box enchanted with an Undetectable Extension Charm, and which would contain a Vanishing Cabinet to facilitate transport between our earthly facilities and these celestial ones.

IN MATTERS OF THE THIRD MYSTERY, the Long-Term Hogwarts Study goes as normal. The data remains of high quality and detail, and continues to confirm our conclusions. No anomalies have arisen, and all of the subjects remain healthy, showing no unexpected side-effects from long-term usage of Time-Turners. However, there have yet to be any potential youth subjects in recent years, leaving the students of the Third Mystery unable to truly investigate the anomaly that occurred with the most recent youth subject, Bartemius Crouch, Junior. None of this sadness should be laid at the feet of the Unspeakable-in-Residence at Hogwarts; it is simple ill fortune that no-one among the student body has taken on such a course load that a Time-Turner becomes necessary. As stated earlier, the data they deliver to us on the faculty of Hogwarts is of the highest quality.

IN MATTERS OF THE SECOND MYSTERY, a prophecy was delivered, by a known Seer by the name of Susie Sooth, at 9:03 in the morning, 19 November, 1989. The record of the prophecy has been safely interred in the Hall of Prophecy, and oracular analysis is well underway to determine the subjects of the prophecy. However, the students of the Second Mystery cannot dedicate their whole focus on this task, because preparations are being made to begin long-term analysis of a prophetic subject, an opportunity the Department has not had for generations. I am writing, of course, of the prophecy delivered by Sybill Trelawney to the Chief Warlock, concerning the Boy Who Lived and the Dark Lord. As mentioned earlier in the report, the Boy Who Lived will begin attendance at Hogwarts in the coming reporting period. I have instructed, subject to your discretion, the students of the Second Mystery and the students of the Sixth Mystery to collaborate in their observations of the Boy Who Lived.

IN MATTERS OF THE FIRST MYSTERY, the Veil remains. There have been no changes.

BY THE STRAIGHT LINE AND THE CIRCLE

The Right Unspeakable Saul CROAKER, Voice of the Unspeakable

Written 4:35pm, 31 October 1990

Delivered 10:35am, 31 October 1990