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Zeb’s quaint little shack was a bit more than what it seemed. Maybe it was the Sea playing tricks on their mind or maybe something supernatural was really going on, but Jade would swear up and down than there was no way this building was big enough to have multiple rooms. But she was proven wrong as they were shown around inside.
"Now I don’t have many rooms—not many visitors out here you’d imagine,” the old man said, “but I have do have a couple spares. They only get used when travelers, very much like yourselves, want tours around the inlet and such. Now let’s see.” Zeb squinted at their group and pointed to each of them as he counted. “One…two…three…”
“There’s six of us,” Elora said in hopes to speed things up. They were all dead on their feet from a long day and from the looks on their faces, all of them wanted to just settle in and get a good night’s rest.”
“Six of you, then, is that right? Well, I only have two extra rooms so—”
“That’s fine, we can share.”
Zeb shrugged. “Alright then, however you’d like. The bathroom’s that way through there if you should find need of it.”
“Thank you,” Willow said graciously, turning to the others. “Now how are splitting this up. Looks like two beds in each room and enough space for one to sleep on the floor. I say we do girls in one, boys in the other. Boorman—”
A loud snore sounded from the other side of the room. Boorman had his feet propped up on a table, laying back heavily in a chair with his hands clasped over his abdomen.
They all glanced between each other, no one willing to disturb him.
“Well, he can stay there then. I won’t have to fight him for a bed now,” Willow commented.
Elora looked hesitantly between Kit and Jade before saying, “Yeah so, um, I have some questions about, uh…magic—yeah, magic, that’s right. Um, so I’m just gonna bunk with Graydon and Willow for a little bit. Might even sleep there, who knows.”
Jade frowned. “You sure? I’ll take the floor, no problem.”
Elora vehemently shook her head. “No, it’s all good.”
Graydon tilted his head in confusion. “But wouldn’t you be more comfortable—ah!” He yelped as Elora pinched his arm. Holding his stinging wound, he followed her subtle gestures to Kit and Jade, staring at them for a second too long before a light went off. Realization dawned on his face. “Oh. Oh yeah, no, you can definitely stay with us and, uh…talk about magic…and stuff.”
“Okay, you know what? It’s late, I’m tired, your tired, we’re all tired and I don’t wanna stand here debating which room you’re taking,” Jade said. “If you change your mind, just, uh, let me know and I’ll roll onto the floor.”
“Like you’re gonna be using the other bed,” Elora muttered under her breath.
“What was that?” Jade hadn’t heard her.
“Nothing! Good night!” Elora shuffled off to her room with Willow and Graydon, leaving the knight and the princess behind.
“I don’t even wanna know,” Jade mumbled.
Kit had been oddly silent throughout the whole exchange, leaning her weight against the wall to keep her upright. She had this weird look on her that screamed exhausted, but her body was tense enough to still be on high alert.
“Come on,” Jade gently led her by the arm to their room. The beds were small, meant only to fit a single person—two maybe if they were to squeeze out every inch of space between them. Shucking off her boots in a corner, she carefully set her sword to the side so that it would be within reach should she happen to need it. Unbuckling her bits of armor, she placed them gently on the floor so as not to disturb the peaceful quiet throughout the cottage. It took her a moment to realize that Kit hadn’t made a single move yet.
“Kit?”
She didn’t look up at her so Jade walked up to her and placed a hand on her lower back.
“Kit, are you alright?”
Kit sighed and shook her head, still staring at the wall. But at least she had acknowledged her.
“I…I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
Jade frowned, worry lining her face. This was highly unusual for Kit. They had known each other practically their whole lives and she couldn’t think of a single instance where the princess had outright admitted that she wasn’t okay. An accidental scratch to the face while sparring? She’s all good. Fall out of a tree and break her arm? She’s fine. But this…Skellin had definitely taken a toll on all of them, but it would seem Kit was taking the brunt of it.
“Okay…okay talk to me, Kit. Tell me what’s going on in that big beautiful head of yours.”
Kit’s lips twitched, but the smile was gone as fast as it had come. “I saw Airk when I was…when…”
Jade nodded. “Yeah, you mentioned that at dinner.”
“I was almost out of breath, my lungs were screaming at me to open up. And then I heard my name being yelled and he dove in to get me. Before his hand reached mine, though…I shot out of the lake and he disappeared.”
“Are you sure you actually saw him, though? What if it was just your mind playing tricks on you?”
Kit shook her head. “No, it was him. And I saw the Crone standing beside him. She’s trying to win him over and I think she’s close to succeeding.”
“He’s strong. He’ll fight it ‘til the last.” Though Airk wasn’t her sibling of choice, she still knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t just give in. He would resist for as long as he possibly could.
“I know he will, but Jade? When I was down there…when I was drowning,” Kit looked up at her with teary eyes, “I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be saved.”
A sharp intake of breath was heard. “Kit…”
“I don’t-it’s not…ergh!” Kit sighed in frustration, unable to formulate her thoughts properly. “It’s not like I actively want to…you know—die. But, hell, Jade, I can’t…”
“Kit.” Jade cupped her elbows, her thumbs caressing her skin. “Take your time.”
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes to focus on the gentle ministrations coming from Jade. It helped to ground her and pull her back to center, keep her from floating away into a sky of nothingness.
“Sometimes I just wonder what it is I’m even doing here,” she finally said. “What do I even contribute to the group? I mean, you and Boorman can fight, Willow’s a great sorcerer, Graydon’s super smart, and Elora…well she’s Elora. But what good am I? I can’t do magic, I’m apparently not as good a swordfighter as I thought I was and let’s be honest here, you guys don’t exactly go to me for ideas on things. I’m useless. If I had slipped away to the bottom of that lake, you guys could have just continued on without me.”
Jade felt her heart shatter to pieces at her admission. She just couldn’t fathom how Kit could think like this. Did she really value herself so little?
“You couldn’t be more wrong,” she told her. “I was breaking my hands open trying to claw my way through that crust to get to you. I nearly screamed myself hoarse. If we had lost you, they would’ve lost me too because, honestly Kit, I don’t know how I could go on without you by my side. You think you do nothing for the group, but you’re what holds us together. We started this so we could rescue your brother and without you, do you think we make it to the Immemorial City? Do you think anyone here has the persistence—the drive—to see this through like you do?
“Boorman and Willow are ready to turn back in a heartbeat. Graydon’s only here because his dad forced him to be. And me? You’re my reason for breathing, Kit. You wanna hear something utterly embarrassing?”
Kit’s eyebrows raised in curiosity.
Jade chuckled to herself. “When I wake up in the morning, I roll over and take a few minutes to just look at you. Everyone else disappears and I pretend that it’s some far off day in the distant future where it’s just you and me. I think about how lucky I am to be your friend and…and maybe that we’ll be more soon. And when you finally open your eyes, I look away and have to act like I don’t think I’m the luckiest person in the world.
“You think no one would miss you if you were gone, but even if the others could say that—which they won’t—then I certainly can’t. Losing you would crush me beyond recovery. This,” Jade grabbed Kit’s hand and brought it to the center of her chest, right above her heart, “it beats for you. If there was only one person in this world who loved you, then it would be me.”
Jade cupped her cheek, her thumb wiping away a stray tear. “This group falls apart without you, Kit. I fall apart without you. So the next time your drowning in a lake of suspicious, gross liquid and you start thinking ‘well nobody would miss me anyway’ then don’t. You remember that you always have me and so long as I’m here, you will never ever be unloved.”
Kit fell forward into Jade’s embrace, burying her face into her shoulder. The true depths of Jade’s feelings were new to her. Sure, she knew Jade loved her after their dual confessions and almost kiss in the Wildwood. But the sheer devotion pouring out from her now, the way Jade gazed at her like she hung the stars. It was enough to take her breath away and overwhelm her.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled into the fabric of her shirt.
Jade’s hand caressed her back, lightly stroking. “You don’t have to be sorry, Kit. Your feelings are still valid. Even if I just told you were being a bit thick in the head for it.”
Kit let out a watery laugh. “I think it was hearing my dad…hearing him call to me. Asking me to come help him…and knowing I couldn’t. You and Elora were dragging me away and I just…I felt so helpless and useless.” She grimaced at herself. “And then I took it out on Elora.”
“Kit,” Jade sighed, pulling back to look her in the eye again. “You have got to stop comparing yourself with her. It’s going to drive you mad. You are your own person and who you are is enough.”
“I know, I know. It’s just hard when your dad seems to care more about another girl than his own daughter. I mean, he always chose her. Why wasn’t I enough for him?”
Jade looked at her with sympathy. “Honestly, Kit, I can’t say. I never knew him. By the time you and I became friends, he was long gone. But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s this: he did love you.”
“Oh yeah? How could you possibly know that?”
“Because it’s impossible not to. But for some people…their sense of duty and responsibility takes over everything else. They’re willing to leave what they love—who they love—because it’s what they feel they have to do. Like I said, I never knew Madmartigan, but from everything I’ve heard, he sounds like one of those people. I’m not excusing it, but rationally, that’s the only reason I can think of why he left. Because leaving you is a next to impossible task.”
“But you were going to after the wedding, weren’t you?” Kit replied, staring her square in the eye.
“Okay that’s a conversation for another day. I’m still here with you now. And honestly I…I’m not sure what’s going to happen after we rescue Airk. When we return to Tir Asleen I…I don’t know. I’ve got a pretty compelling reason to stay now, don’t I?”
“Do you?” The challenge was laid out before here, Kit’s practically daring Jade to lean down and close the gap.
For a long moment, they let the silence blanket them, weaving in and out to fill the room. Neither was sure who made the first move, but they both suddenly found themselves a lot closer, their mouths just inches apart. Nothing needed to be said as they inched closer, their lips lightly brushing.
It was Kit who deepened the kiss, winding her arms around Jade’s neck. She could feel the vibrations as Jade moaned, her hands resting on Kit’s hips. When Kit went to pull back for air, Jade chased her down, not giving her more than a second’s reprieve. At the first touch of her tongue, Jade blossomed for her, mouth opening to greedily suck her in.
As they kissed, Jade pushed them to the bed, sitting on the edge and pulling Kit into her lap. She buried her face in Kit’s neck, kissing along her jawline before trailing down and sucking on the sensitive cord of muscle.
Kit tilted her head back to give her more room, her eyes fluttering shut with bliss. This is all she had ever wanted in life. Had things gone very differently at the lake, she would have missed out on this. If she ever needed a reason to continue on, then this was it. Jade’s lips were like a healing elixir for the soul and she couldn’t get enough.
When one of Jade’s hands reached beneath her shirt and touched her skin, she felt her suddenly go still.
“What’s wrong?” Kit asked breathlessly.
“Nothing, it’s just…I think we should stop.”
“Why?” Okay so maybe she was a little ashamed at the way it came out more as a pathetic little whine than a question.
“You’ve had a really long day, Kit. And I don’t think this is what you need right now.”
“No, I think it really is,” she vehemently denied. “I want you, Jade.”
The words sent a thrill straight to her core. “I want you too. But not like this. Not on the back of an extremely emotional conversation that left you all vulnerable. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage.”
“You’re not,” Kit shook her head.
Jade could have laughed at the desperation on Kit’s face. And honestly, seeing how much Kit wanted her, how much she was craving her touch, it made her want to give in. But one of them had be sensible right now.
“Regardless, we’re not doing this in some beat up cottage where the bed isn’t big enough and probably creaks and our friends are right next door. When we finally do this, I want to be able to lay you out and worship you. No one around, no one to hear you scream for me. I want to be able to lay with you the next morning without hearing Boorman bang around out there asking for food.”
Kit swallowed thickly, her mind already racing with images of that proposed day. “Yeah, I want that too.”
Jade squeezed her hip and said, “Then I need you to get off my lap because I only have so much self-control.”
Kit giggled, a sound rarely heard from the not-so-girly princess. She stood up and before Jade could extricate herself, had her boots kicked off and was pressing her back into the bed. She landed on her back with a an oompf as Kit climbed on top of her.
"Kit,” she warned, “what did we just talk about.”
“Yeah yeah, I know, no funny business. But, uh, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d really like to-well I just thought that, uh…maybe you’d wanna—”
Jade caught on quickly. “You want me to sleep in your bed with you?”
Kit’s cheeks reddened. “Yeah, I just, uh, I don’t really feel like being alone right now.”
The bed being a single made it a bit difficult, but if there was one thing Jade loved, it was challenges. She shifted over as far as she could, her arm hitting the wall. Kit crawled into the space at her side, laying her head on her shoulder and throwing an arm around her midsection. Jade’s arm wrapped beneath Kit’s back, holding her close while the fingers on her other hand drew light patterns over the arm across her.
As kids, they had had plenty of sleepovers together which evolved into a teenage Kit sneaking into Jade’s room. They had shared her cramped bed before, but never like this, their backs always to one another as they both practically spilled onto the floor. This was different. Unlike when they were younger—where her fingers itched to reach out to Kit to wrap her up in her embrace—Jade now had permission to do so.
She no longer had to lock her body in place and force down her feelings. No longer had to ignore the princess’s heat at her back. She could hold her close, caress her sides, kiss her forehead or cheeks or lips whenever she wanted. They would fall asleep together and in the morning, when Jade inevitably woke before Kit, she didn’t have to pretend that she was staring at her princess, drinking her all in. She had her in her arms, hair tickling her with Kit’s head on her shoulder, the gentle up and down of her chest against hers as little puffs of breath kissed her skin
And it felt so very right.