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It was the week before the Easter holidays at Hogwarts and Newt had agreed to come and introduce some of his creatures to the students during Care of Magical Creatures. He had only said yes because Albus had been so insistent and had promised to go on an excursion to the Appalachians with him during the holidays. Meanwhile this was the time of the year when the Third Years traditionally dealt with Boggarts in Defence Against The Dark Arts and Albus had the caretaker bring a wardrobe into his classroom.
It honestly wasn’t Albus favourite lesson and he tried to stay away as far as possible from the Boggarts, he knew from experience that the creature changed into Ariana being hit with a curse from his wand and dying in front of him. This was neither for the students to see nor did Albus ever want to relive that moment. A Boggart truly showed a persons’ biggest fear as Albus knew. This meant Albus had given strict instructions to the students as he stayed to one side of the classroom as most of the students queued for their turn in front of the wardrobe. Next to Albus though stood a little girl named Sandra who had asked to opt out of the exercise when she heard what would happen. Albus had asked around and it turned out that the came from a broken home and had seemingly experienced violence quite early in her life so it was an easy decision to keep her away from the rest of the class for this lesson especially since he knew from experience that certain things in life left quite a scar.
There was also no problem for the first four students, their fears ranged from spiders to darkness, but when a light-haired boy stepped into line next, the Boggart immediately turned into balloons. Albus had no idea why these were so frightening for the little boy but he managed quite well and said “Riddikulus” in a clear voice and the balloons shrivelled and lost air blowing across the classroom with a loud fart-like niose, landing directly in front of Sandra. Before the Boggart had any time to even change as the class was still laughing at the sound the balloons had made, Albus reacted as fast as he could and stepped right in front of Sandra steeling himself to see his sister crumbling in front of him once more. But the sight that greeted him when the Boggarts took form was not Ariana, but Newt lying in front of Albus on the floor, clearly dying, bleeding from a large wound in his stomach that he held. He looked up beseechingly at Albus and begged Albus to do something. “Newt?” Albus croaked, as tears filled his eyes. Albus looked at the man at his feet and only a moment later he remembered that this was just the Boggart and as he cleared his throat he silently whispered “Ridddikulus” and stirred the now changing form back into the wardrobe.
The whole class was looking at Albus totally aghast at what they had just seen and before anyone could react Albus immediately said: “That’s that for today, please open your books and read the chapter on Boggarts until the bell rings.” The class was eerily quiet as they settled into their seats and opened their books, stealing glances at Albus in front of them who had just managed to go to his seat. He didn’t notice the class anymore and just stared ahead as he couldn’t get Newt’s face out his mind and relived the moment again and again.
Sandra who had not gone to her seat with the rest of the class knew the expression on her teacher’s face and without him noticing she slipped out of the classroom and went in search for Mr. Scamander who was sure to be in the Care of Magical Creatures Reserve. She ran there quickly and even from afar could hear Newt’s voice explaining what a Bowtruckle was and did. When she was close enough she stepped in front of the man and quietly told Newt about the Boggart. “It didn’t go as planned, Sir,” Sandra said “He stepped in front of me and it changed…” Here she couldn’t say which form it had actually taken. “Professor Dumbledore… I think he’s in shock. Could you come and help, immediately?” Professor Kettleburn who had stood next to Newt and heard the whole conversation just nodded as Newt looked back to him.
“Ok, as fast as we can then,” Newt said as he started running towards the castle, the little girl right behind him. It was quite a way back to the DADA classroom and in his mind’s eye Newt saw all the scenarios that the Boggart could have conjured up. So, while they were running up the stairs in the entrance hall Newt remembered that he could ask, so he called: “Could you tell me, what you actually saw, so I can help him better, when we get there?” Newt thought it might have been Grindelwald or even Albus’ family, but Newt nearly fell when Sandra said: “You, we saw you, …. You were dying.” Newt looked back at the girl and saw that she wasn’t lying and he ran even quicker towards the classroom now at the end of the corridor.
He saw why Sandra had gotten him as soon as he came in, Albus sat behind his desk staring the wall emptily, only slowly noticing that someone had entered the classroom at all. At the sound of the door opening all the students had turned though and now looked at Newt with expressions ranging from scared to confused to downright relieved. Newt let his gaze wander over all of the students and simply said: “Class, you’re dismissed, please finish you work in your Common Rooms and clear out as fast as possible.” To Newt’s surprise the children went quickly and quietly, Sandra being the last one to leave looking at Newt as she closed the door behind her. Newt took out his wand immediately and locked the door while already moving towards the front of the classroom and Albus who at least followed Newt with his gaze now. When Newt was close enough, he saw that Albus’ eyes were already swimming with tears as he looked at Newt, so Newt did the only thing he could and dropped to his knees in front of Albus seat and hugged him as tight as he could. Albus sobbed loudly and Newt felt the tears as they soaked his shoulder as he let Albus cry himself out. Slowly stroking his back and murmuring nonsense into his neck. When Albus finally calmed down, Newt slowly released him and drew back, but not letting go completely, still holding Albus lower arm: “Albus, what happened?” Newt asked as he used his other sleeve to dry the rest of the tears on Albus’s face. Before Albus answered, he sighed loudly and first looked up at the ceiling before he looked back at Newt still kneeling in front of him looking only worried. “I... I wasn’t aware…” Albus started as he slowly leant forward cupping Newt’s cheek with his left hand. Newt looked only confused as he let Albus touch linger.
When Albus pushed his chair back a moment later and got up, his fingers and arm withdrew from Newt and the younger man was left sitting on the floor looking up at Albus for a moment. “Why, are you even here Newt?” Albus asked as he looked on as Newt slowly stood up and leant back against Albus’s desk. “One of the students came and got me, she said you were in shock.” “Who…?” “I don’t even know, a girl, short dark hair, blue eyes, quite small for her age…” “Sandra…” Newt shrugged as he studied Albus closely as he began pacing, Newt knew it was useless to push now, Albus would tell him in his own time. “She seemed to know what she was talking about…” “Yes, she would…” Albus sighed. “I’ll need to talk to the headmaster about what happened here, about what the children saw…” Albus looked into Newt’s eyes as he said this. Newt knew he was trying to see what Newt already knew, but Newt had learned from the best as he let the silence between them stretch. “Damn it, I should have never taught you to shield your thoughts,” Albus said as he started pacing again. Newt couldn’t help but smile as he remembered his lessons in Legilimency from last year. “You know, you could simply tell me…,” Newt suggested as his gaze followed Albus. “You already know…” Albus said as he stopped in front of Newt. Newt didn’t deny that, “It’s not what I meant, and you know it, what I want to know is why you reacted they way you did, why a student felt the need to get me and why just now you cried in my arms.”
Albus looked like he was in pain and avoided Newt’s eyes in the same way as the young man had done years earlier. “I’m sorry…” Albus said looking at a point behind Newt not being able to look at him. “You’re deflecting, Albus, and you know there is no need to apologize about anything, we all had our fair share of trauma,” Newt took Albus’ chin his between his thumb and his forefinger and moved his head, so that Albus had no chance of looking anywhere else but Newt’s eyes, “I’ll let you deal with the consequences of this lesson right now, go talk to the headmaster, I’ll talk to Kettleburn and try to salvage the rest of my lesson, but when I’m finished, I’ll come back for some answers and I hope they are better than what you did just now.” Newt only released Albus’ chin when the man had nodded and Newt was sure Albus’ gaze followed him, so when he turned around inside the doorframe and looked back, he was sure he had Albus’ full attention, “You are ok, aren’t you?” Albus smiled as he nodded, he was not quite sure how to tell Newt that he had fallen in love with him, but he was sure that this was the most caring and thoughtful person he had ever met, so even if he didn’t feel the same way, Albus owed it to him to tell him about the realization and anguish he felt when he saw that he had lost him for just a moment.
It was half an hour after Albus had returned to his rooms having spoken to the headmaster and his students, still Albus was nervous about his coming talk with Newt. His outburst and reaction from this afternoon felt like ages away and at the same time he hadn’t felt anything this real in a long time, not only the negative feeling of loss but the realization that he was in love with Newt and might have been longer than he had thought possible. Even if Albus hadn’t known, the Boggart only showed the truth which was that now his biggest fear was losing Newt because he loved the man. While Albus was still contemplating what to say, there was a knock on his door and as soon as he called, “Come in,” Newt stood in his living room, letting his eyes slowly wander over Albus’ body until they landed on his face as he smiled. “Feeling more like yourself, then?” Newt asked, as he opened his tie and the first two buttons of the shirt he had worn all day. He had done the same thing every night since he had started hanging out with Albus. Newt had explained that he really didn’t like being stuck in his ‘teacher robes’ as he called them but now Albus felt he couldn’t quite look away from Newt’s neck as he revealed parts of his neck.
So, Albus cleared his throat as he looked away quickly before Newt could notice anything, “Yes. Tea, Newt?” Albus asked as he pointed at the set on the coffee table right behind him. Newt’s gaze was scrutinizing as he followed Albus movements as he prepared the tea. Albus still hadn’t met Newt’s eyes as he started, “I haven’t even thanked you, for what you did back there, I don’t think I would have snapped out of it so quickly if it wasn’t for you.” “There really is no need,” Newt said as he took the offered cup from Albus’ hands. “I rather think you should thank the girl, Sandra, isn’t it?” “I already did. She was simply glad that she did the right thing.” Newt nodded and made a mental note to perhaps talk to the girl himself to see if there was anything he could do to help her in return.
“So…?” Newt let the question hang there as he leaned back on the sofa sipping from his cup of tea. Albus looked up shortly as he sat back in the armchair next to the sofa and saw that his time was up, he needed to tell Newt about everything. Albus thought it might make more sense if he started chronologically, so he told Newt about his previous lessons with Boggarts, about his fears and trepidation about seeing Ariana and then after he had already talked for some time, he came to today’s lesson, how Sandra had opted out, how they both stood next to the wall looking on and then about the moment everything went to hell, Newt had put his cup down on the table and leaned forward as Albus went on, “I tried to protect the girl, so, I stepped in front of here knowing I’d see Ariana die again in a moment, but instead…” Albus took a deep breath and looked at Newt who just looked back not moving, just waiting, “It was a huge shock seeing you lie there bleeding out, begging me to save you. It took me far too long to realize that it wasn’t really you, that I was dealing with a Boggart, but in that moment, everything felt too real, it was like I had never felt fear like that. In that one moment the consequences of losing you were just too real. I don’t quite know what happened afterward, the class tells me I gave them a task and the next thing I remember is seeing you coming in looking so worried and my emotions just got away from me, and they needed a release, so I cried and you saved me,” Albus voice had become more quiet with the last words as he had looked at Newt.
Newt looked quietly back at Albus as he took in what he just heard. “That’s not all though, is it?” Newt sighed as he stroked his face with both hands, “I really need to know Albus. It feels like we are standing at a precipice here, one wrong question and we fall. Do you want me to ask or …” “Ask… Newt, just ask.” Albus stood up, too agitated to sit knowing that his future hang in the balance here, and Albus was not quite sure he was ready to deal with it yet. So, he walked up and down in front of the fireplace to release his nervous energy. Newt stood as well, stepping right into Albus’s path. “Ok, just two questions. One: How long have you felt this way? And two: And I think what it boils down to: When did you finally plan on telling me that you love me?” Newt smiled down at Albus who looked just as shocked as he had this morning staring at up at Newt not moving at all, hardly even breathing. Newt raised his hand projecting all his movements as he slowly let his thumb graze Albus’ cheek and then stretched the rest of the hand to reach behind Albus’s ear to hold onto him. Newt’s smile stretched even further as he saw Albus blink back to awareness. “Do you need an answer right now?” Albus asked as he moved his hands towards Newt’s hips. “Not right this moment, but at some point, it might be nice to know.” Newt smirked slightly as he looked deeply into Albus’ eyes. “I love you, too, you know.” “I think I got that,” Albus answered, drawing Newt even closer. “I have some questions as well, but they might wait, until…” “Until?” Newt had lowered his head was only about half an inch from Albus’ lips when Albus closed the remaining distance, both men could feel the other one smiling into the kiss. Any question they had was only answered later that night and some even only a few years later.