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I ran a hand through my newly dyed blue hair and glanced at myself in the mirror. My hand came back only slightly blue, which was a win, and the curls looked just as chaotic as ever, which was excellent really when one considered that I was about to meet Cipher for a barn date.
I wore my usual riding gear, jodhpurs and an oversized sweater. I mean I wasn’t going to ride Emma today but not wearing jodhpurs to the barn just felt wrong. Also they showed off my ass amazingly well and I had to exploit that when meeting Cipher.
I left my apartment with my black backpack thrown over one shoulder and my car key stuffed into the front pocket of my pants. The heels of my half high riding boots clacked on the ground as I walked down the hall and hopped down the stairs.
I slipped out the front door and came face to face with Cipher who glared at my rundown, black Lada. It was about half as old as myself and looked the part.
Cipher wore a fine, red cardigan, that might be cashmir, but I wasn’t sure and black pants. She wore similar half boots to mine, but looked far too fancy for a barn trip.
“Hey”, I said with a smile, which Cipher did not return. Having known her for around four weeks that wasn’t entirely unusual as her face was not nearly as expressive as my anxious ass would like, but considering we were supposed to be going on a date, her possibly being in a horrible mood, did nothing to help with my anxiety.
“Please don’t tell me this is your car”, Cipher said in a way of greeting.
“What‘s wrong with my car?” I asked genuinely confused and stepped up next to her looking at my mud speckled Lada.
Cipher had parked not far down the road and her blue corvette stood out even more against every car on the road, not just mine.
“There’s a dent in the door nearly as big as the door. It looks as old as you. Does it still drive? How is that even safe?”, Cipher exclaimed in audible desperation.
Excuse me, my car was brilliant! “It’s perfectly safe! It pulls the horse trailer, I only need it for the barn AND it‘s from my grandma”, okay the last part maybe wasn’t something I was necessarily proud of but I was an author. Not exactly starving but definitely not one with enough money to buy myself a new car.
Cipher sighed as if the entire weight of my car rested on her shoulders. “That explains everything. You‘re getting a new car.”
Had I heard her right?! “Cipher, we've known each other for four weeks, you can’t get me a new car.” How was that even supposed to work? And the new insurance! I couldn’t afford that!
“Yes I can”, that tone of voice brokered no argument. “I‘ll whip up a contract, pay it fully, you can keep it on your name, no strings attached and we will not be driving in that thing to your barn. We’re taking my car.”
She turned to me with an expectantly raised eyebrow.
I opened my mouth and closed it again. I might have bitten off more than I could chew with dating Cipher. “The barn is dirty.“
“My car. Now”, Cipher walked away to her car.
I wasn’t even sure if her low corvette would get over the bumps in the road to the barn, but I guess Cipher was about to find out. I followed her anyway. It wasn’t my first time in her car, but it didn’t get any less amazing. Also I felt very worried about getting stains on her fine leather seats just by wearing my riding gear.
I put my backpack in between my feet and turned to her. “If I get a new car”-
“When”, Cipher pulled off the curb.
I glared at her profile. It was far gentler than anything about her. I hadn’t gotten tired of looking at her yet and hopefully never would. “When I get a new car, I need it to be able to pull a horse trailer. Preferably one with two horses, but not be a huge jeep. If at all possible not bigger than the Lada.”
“Deal.”
“Also I can’t pay fancy insurance.”
Cipher put a hand on my thigh and her thumb rubbed soothing circles. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll have it all covered.”
“That sounds like I’ll be financially dependent”, I narrowed my eyes not at all comfortable with the insinuation of that.
Cipher threw me a glance. “Trust me, Lark. I told you, no strings attached.”
Trusting people was hard. Trusting someone like Cipher was harder. But I had to start somewhere I guess. I mean if in doubt I could still sell the car and keep the Lada anyway. That would definitely solve my financial issues. “Okay.”
Cipher squeezed my thigh and a near imperceptible smile spread on her face. “Thank you.”
“Hmh”, I tried for grumpy but whenever Cipher had a tiny -or big- smile I could do nothing but smile as well.
“I like your pants”, Cipher said, lowering her voice.
My stomach erupted in butterflies and I stared down at my lap with a grin. “I’m happy you noticed.”
Cipher snorted. “If I ever not notice you in those pants, you better hit me in the face.”
I scrunched up my nose. “I don’t want to hit you in the face.”
Cipher nearly huffed a laugh. “That’ll change eventually, trust me.”
“What was that about not putting yourself down?”
Cipher stopped at a traffic light and turned to me. I got warm under her gaze, even though her eyes were always cold. “I’m not putting myself down. I’m stating facts.”
“Uh-huh, I’m going to say that the next time”, I said with a crooked smile.
Cipher scoffed. “Don’t even try, darling.”
Dear god the way she said darling made my spine dance.
The light turned green and she tore away. I decided not to think about the fact that the address to the barn was already in her gps. I wouldn’t be surprised if Cipher could find out the contents of my underwear drawer.
“So how was your weekend?” Cipher prompted.
Cipher’s brow creased in concentration, both hands on the steering wheel as we drove up the bumpy road to the barn. “How is a road in this bad of a condition even legal?”
“I told you we should have taken my car.”
“You wouldn’t get me in your rust bucket sedated.”
“Don’t insult my car!”
“It’s not even a car”, Cipher said but her voice was light.
The corvette scraped over another bump making me grimace. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oh she’ll be fine”, Cipher said, weaving her way around another bump. “Just remind me next time to take the jeep.”
“Next time?” I echoed.
Cipher shrugged. “I figured since you spend a considerable amount of your time in the barn, I might get to see more of you if I’m here with you.”
That was actually adorable. Four weeks in and I could still hardly believe she wanted to spend time with me. Someone like Cipher. She was beyond anything I had ever imagined. And no weirdness had driven her away yet.
A soft smile spread on my face.
Since we were creeping along the road, Cipher threw me another look. “What’s that smile for?”
“For you.” I felt extremely sappy right now, but it was the truth.
Cipher put her hand on my thigh again and rubbed it. I could catch the emotions flickering over her face before she hid them again and my heart fluttered knowing she cared.
Cipher let out a long sigh when the barn finally came into view.
I sniggered under my breath.
“Don’t you dare say it again”, Cipher threatened, causing me to snigger louder.
She pulled into the parking lot and I spotted Michelle at the edge of the outside arena talking to some of the competition riders. I couldn’t stand the competition riders, but I always appreciated that they had their horses out here in a proper free range herd.
And everyone was staring at us. Because even among the competition riders only two had cars that were even close to being as nice as Cipher’s corvette.
I couldn’t tell whether I was bothered or amused by the staring.
Cipher killed the engine and left the car. An instant frown settled on her face as she scanned the buildings of the barn.
I got out and sidled up next to her, looking up at her rather than the buildings. “No need to look quite this thrilled to be here”, I teased. Even with the competition riders nearby Cipher looked out of place. Like the finest dressage horse among the average warmbloods.
Cipher glanced down at me, one eyebrow haughtily raised. “It’s actually not as bad as I thought.”
I tilted my head. “Your expression does not reflect that.”
“Do you want me to smile?”
“If you want to.”
Cipher rolled her eyes, but then a tiny smile pulled at the corners of her lips. She turned to me, our bodies brushing. “Why are they all staring?”
“Because I’m the local weirdo, who talks to no one and always has really shabby clothes which I wash like every two weeks and I’m here with you”, I said, still smiling because she was here.
Cipher huffed and then bent down and pressed a kiss to my lips.
I had a hard time not grinning like an idiot when she pulled back. “Pretty sure you did not make the staring any better.”
“Kind of my plan”, Cipher said smugly.
I sniggered and intertwined our fingers. Initiating contact like that still triggered my anxiety, even though she had never rejected me, but with her kissing me in front of everyone, I had a hard time imagining that she wouldn’t want to touch me.
Cipher squeezed my hand and I pulled her away to the tack room to get Emma’s headcollar, some treats and store my backpack. Cipher trailed after me, scanning the place like she did every other location she entered.
Hurried steps sounded behind us. “Hey, Lark, wait up!”
I stopped and turned around to Michelle, smiling at her in greeting. “Hey, Michelle! What’s up?”
“What’s up?” Michelle echoed and stopped in front of us. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend?!” she turned to Cipher. “Hi, I’m Michelle, a friend of Lark’s.”
“A friend?” Cipher echoed cooly but shook Michelle’s hands when I bumped her shoulder. “Strange she didn’t talk about you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Be nice, CeCe.”
Cipher pursed her lips momentarily. “I’m Cecilia.”
“Nice to meet you”, Michelle’s friendliness didn’t let up.
I decided to keep walking to the tack room, pulling Cipher along. I had to ask her later if Cecilia was her real name, but I somehow doubted it. She wouldn’t just throw her real name out here at people.
“So, how did you two meet?”
Cipher looked like she wanted to give a prickly answer, so I interrupted. “At a coffee shop.”
“Ohhh, how cute”, Michelle grinned, “and who did the first step.”
I snorted. “Is that a serious question?”
“No”, Michelle laughed and stopped at the entrance to the tack room.
I got Emma’s headcollar from my locker, just not letting go of Cipher’s hand like she might run off and get into a fight with the bitchy competition riders.
“You have to tell me everything tomorrow”, Michelle said with an insufferable grin on her face. “I’ll leave you guys to it.”
“Sure, bye, Elle”, I said grinning as well and heading up to the old mare herd still holding hands.
“Who is she?” Cipher muttered.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Why are you being an utter hedgehog?”
“I don’t know who she is”, Cipher hissed, “you never told me about her.”
My eyes widened as the realisation hit. I had outsmarted Cipher! And I hadn’t even tried. “Oh my god! You can’t stand not knowing everything.”
Cipher glared. “No need to sound quite so excited about it.”
“No, but welcome to the life of us mortals.”
“Lark.”
“Oh come on, what do you expect she’s going to do?” I pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “I’ve known her for as long as I have been at this barn. We’re friends.”
“Why did you never talk about her then?”
“I don’t know, it just didn’t occur to me.” I had so many things to talk about the stuff I got up to with Michelle just wasn’t all that strange. “She’s just part of the barn inventory to me. It would be like me talking about the colour of Emma’s headcollar.”
“Which you did by the way.”
“What?”
Cipher’s expression turned indulgent, like one would look at a puppy. “I clearly recall you once talking about how red does not suit Emma at all and you’re really happy with the new blue headcollar you bought her for christmas last year.”
“Ah shit”, I muttered. “I’m sorry you had to witness that particular rant. I can imagine there are more interesting things than to listen to me talk about horse fashion.”
Cipher raised an eyebrow. “You’re cute when you’re enthusiastic. And you’re always enthusiastic when talking about horses.”
Which was her way of saying ‘I like listening to you talk’. I tried to keep my smile from being absolutely beaming, but failed.
Cipher gracefully sidestepped a poopile and we reached the gates of the old mare herd. To be fair, old was a bit of a stretch. Some of the mares were under fifteen but we just didn’t have the super young ones in there that were like under ten.
It was just that the main mare herd had all ages except the seniors who were always in this herd so they could relax properly.
“So, do you want to try and spot Emma before she spots me?” I asked, leaning against the fence and watching the horses. There were exactly three Haflingers in the herd, all of them old, but Emma had the best muscle tonus and the most spite. She had always been lead mare back at the riding school and that had not changed at all.
“It’s that one”, Cipher pointed confidently at Emma.
This time I outright beamed at her. “Correct.”
Cipher smiled in return and it was soft and small and everything secretive about her that I loved.
I slipped in between the bars of the fence instead of opening the gate and glanced back to see if Cipher would follow, but she seemed content to wait behind the safety of the fence, causing me to snigger.
“Don’t think I can’t hear you laughing.”
“I don’t know what you mean”, I sang and whistled for Emma.
She pricked her ears and lifted her head from the hay. Her ears played, she sent another mare away instead of walking around her and came to me. I pet Emma’s neck, gave her half a carrot and put the headcollar on. She promptly got the other half of the carrot.
We left the paddock, Cipher opened and closed the gate for me like this wasn’t her first time at the barn and I was struck with the ‘omg I’m one of the suffering boyfriend riders’ now. I burst into giggles.
Cipher closed the gate and frowned at me. “What?”
Looking at her in her fine clothes and the fact that she was here and was in fact the helpful boyfriend for the first time and mildly afraid of horses, made me giggle even harder.
Cipher smiled, but it looked like it was half against her will as she watched me quake with laughter. She waited until I had got myself back under control to ask. “Will you share the joke with the class?”
“There’s an inside joke in the equestrian community about bringing your non-horse boyfriend to the barn and the general suffering of them and I was struck with the thought that I now qualify.”
Cipher looked decidedly unamused, causing me to giggle again.
“Here”, I handed her half a carrot. “Introduce yourself.”
Cipher glared at me and then her expression smoothed out when she stepped closer and held the carrot out to Emma. Emma sniffed curiously, took the offered treat and walked forward to try and smell if Cipher had any more on her.
Cipher instantly stepped back as the horse got closer. I’d actually say she looked wary which was a first and not entertaining me any less. I had never seen Cipher out of her element. She was confident no matter what. I was seeing an entirely different side of her and it was absolutely grand. “You’re enjoying this far too much.”
I smirked. “I can’t help it. You’re cute when you’re not intimidating.”
She tried to glare. She really did, but Emma was still trying to get treats from her, now more than half way past me and the leadrope still had some way to go and Cipher was definitely not wanting to let the horse get any closer. I tightened the rope and kept the mare away from my poor girlfriend.
“Come on then, CeCe”, I walked back down to the barn.
“What are we doing now?” Cipher took a big curve around Emma to walk safely on my other side.
“Grooming her, feeding her and then we’re going on a walk”, I glanced down at her boots, “I hope those are comfortable.”
“I’ll be fine”, Cipher said in her ‘I’m back in control’ tone of voice.
I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh at her again. Okay, this was great. I was thriving. An environment where I knew what to do. I never had anxiety around horses. I had Cipher here who had kissed me in front of everyone. Honestly, best day of the year so far.
“So… do I have to get close to her for the grooming?” Cipher tried for casual and failed.
“You don’t have to groom her”, I took mercy on her, “it’s okay if you just stand there and look pretty.”
Cipher frowned as if she wasn’t used to standing around and looking pretty and maybe she didn’t. I mean she wasn’t a model. We reached the barn and I tied Emma up at the grooming area. I walked to the feed room and mixed all the food with Cipher watching curiously.
“Do you want me to explain this all to you?”
“Do you want to explain it?”
“Not really, horse feed is only interesting to horse people really”, I mixed it all. “Just know this is part of the reason why I can’t afford shit.”
I picked up the bucket, got the groom box on the way and walked back to Emma who knickered excitedly.
Cipher trailed after me and kept watching.
“So”, I held up a few brushes, “yes or no?”
Cipher sighed in defeat. “Give it to me.”
I did not giggle in excitement. I was professional now. “Okay, this one, you start with to loosen all the dust in a curry sort of motion”, I showed it on Emma’s side while she munched away on her feed. “You can put a bit of pressure behind it like a massage, they like it.”
Cipher nodded, looking like a woman on a mission and took the brush from me. I watched as she began grooming, hesitant at first, but she got the hang of it rather quickly. I turned to pick out Emma’s feet and then brushed through her tail and mane.
I got my second brush and smoothed out Emma’s fur after it.
Cipher scrunched up her nose. “There’s dirt and fur getting everywhere.”
“Yeah, that sort of happens around horses”, I said without even a hint of sarcasm.
Cipher glared at me. “Not funny.”
“I warned you!”
“You did”, Cipher muttered as if she couldn’t believe she was doing this.
Since I momentarily lacked my anxiety I stepped closer and whispered. “Just think about the shower we can take later.”
Cipher’s eyes instantly darkened and her head whipped around to me. Her eyes flickered to my lips, then to Emma as if she was worried about her reaction. Cipher pulled me close with her free hand and pressed a kiss to my lips. I melted against her and since both of us were covered in horse hair I didn’t worry about getting her clothes dirty.
Emma took a step to get closer to her bucket. Cipher promptly pulled both of us away from the horse, causing me to giggle against her lips.
“This is not funny”, Cipher said.
“You’re cute.”
“I’m not.”
“Okay.”
Cipher frowned at me. “You’re… confident”, a smile spread on her face, bigger than I usually saw from her in public.
I returned the smile. “I know the rules around horses. No anxiety here.”
“It’s nice to see you happy”, Cipher said softly, her lips almost brushing against mine.
I closed the distance for another kiss. My heart melted at her admission. I wanted nothing more than to have this moment last forever.