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Mr Harrington had a rule.
If your phone went off in class, you had to answer it on speaker, in front of everyone.
It was meant to be embarrassing so the kids wouldn’t forget to do it.
Unfortunately for him, he didn’t account having Peter Stark (secrecy identity: Peter Parker) in his class when he made up this rule.
And subsequently, almost had a heart attack.
-
Peter was exhausted.
And was currently glaring daggers at the clock in the classroom, attempting to use his mind to make it go faster.
This wasn’t fair. Why should he have to go to school when he’s tired. It’s not his fault.
Ok well, he did stay up all night spray painting Sam’s wings hot pink. Why the man trusted Peter to fix his wings whilst the tower was in the mist of a prank war was beyond Peter.
But he considered the prank a necessary task. So technically it’s not his fault he’s tired.
If anything, being forced to listen to Mr Harrington drone on for and hour should be considered torture and Peter should be allowed to break out of this prison.
How many espresso shots would he have to sneak his dad to get him to sue the school for torturing children?
3 should do it.
Then he could liberate all the schools in New York, and start a teenage army.
Just as Peter was deep in the mist of making plans to overthrow the government, his phone rang out.
At least 3 people who had been put to sleep by the teachers talking (honestly Peter had assumed they had died from boredom) woke up harshly, looking around in confusion.
And then every eye in the class settled on Peter.
For fucks sake.
He was so tired he forgot to put his phone on silent.
Fuck.
“Come on Peter, you know the rules.” Mr Harrington chuckled.
God he was screwed. As he drew his vibrating phone from his pocket, his mind was racing.
Please don’t be his dad. Please don’t be his dad. He can’t let that secret out now (especially in front of his whole class). But it could not be Tony? He had so many other people in his phone!
Of god.
Please don’t be a superhero. Please don’t be an avenger. Please don’t be anyone important. Please just be a normal person.
Or a scam call, even better.
‘Dad (replaceable <3)’ is calling…
Fuck.
God dammit.
Ned,sitting next to him, winced as Peter let his head fall forward, his forehead making an audible think with the table.
“Parker… come on you have to follow the rules.” Ah yes his code name. Parker. Except his secret identity as Tony Stark’s son is in jeopardy here considering the man himself is calling him during school.
Peter groaned and answered the phone, putting it on speaker.
“Hi Boss”, Peter gritted through his teeth, desperately hoping Tony would catch what he was doing and go along with the intern cover story.
He did not.
“Boss ha. Wow not even calling me dad. I mean I knew you were angry that I ate all the cereal this morning but I didn’t realize you were this angry Pete.”
Peter looked around the class nervously.
“Boss-“
Tony cut him off. Clearly not understanding Peters apprehensive tone.
“I’m mean come on kid, I’m Tony Stark, I’m literally a billionaire, I can afford to buy you more cereal. You teenagers are so dramatic.”
Well. There goes that secret.
God dammit Tony.
Some of the class looked doubtful, probably thinking Peter set this up as a prank during class. But those who were fans of Tony recognized his voice. And they looked shocked. Including Flash.
Peter sighed.
Whatever. He’s too tired to deal with this.
“What do you want dad?”
Peter asked, cutting off Tony rant about cereal and how he could just ‘buy the company if Peter liked them so much’.
“Oh yeah”, Tony said as if he had forgotten he called in the first place.
“Me and your family are currently fighting some massive evil bugs that are hell bent on destroying the city. Say hi to Peter guys!”
There was the sound of an explosion and Peter could hear a faint “Hi Peter!” From what sounded like a very out of breath Captain America.
“I’m sorry?! There are giant bugs currently attacking the streets of New York?!” Peter screeched.
His class were panicking a bit. What kind of prank was this?
“Geez calm down they’re nowhere near your school, no need to worry. No need to suit up either, I think we have this handled.”
There was a scream from the phone and the sound of someone crashing to the ground.
“HA! Sam just flew into a giant dragonfly. I’m loving his new paint job by the way”, he snickered.
“Glad you like it”, Peter laughed. “I spent all night painting it and-“
He cut himself off from speaking about his plans for the father-son duo to win the prank war and glanced around the class completely forgetting they were there.
Oh yeah and there were still giant bugs attacking the city. It’s an easy thing to forget.
“Wait so if you don’t need me to suit up, why did you call me?”
“Oh right yeah. We don’t need your help but Matt does, I’ll transfer you now, bye Peteee…”
At the sound of the beep Peter paused for a second.
“Matt? Who’s Matt- OH SHIT!”
And as the video call hologram shot out of his phone revealing the person on call, Peter knew he was screwed.
“Hi Matt…”
“Peter! Nice to speak to you again, although I wish it were under better circumstances,” President Mathew Ellis of the United States said.
There was a thud.
Oops, Mr Harrington may have slightly fainted.
“What was that sound? Why don’t you have your hologram on? I want to see my favorite superhero.” The man chuckled.
Tony hated it when he called Peter his favorite. He always grumbled about how HE saved the presidents life and got no thanks and how he ‘wasn’t appreciated enough’.
It was always very funny.
But they weren’t in the White House now.
The were in Peter’s physics class and he was currently on call with the president.
Fuck.
What is his life.
“Oh I was messing with the settings and broke it-“ That was a lie. He just didn’t want the president to see he was in class right now. Or for him to know that his whole class was watching what was probably supposed to be a classified conversation.
Whoops.
“Anyway, what did you want my help with?”
“Oh yes, I’m sending in the army to help with the little bug problem, and I want your advise on where I should station them and such. I figured you know the streets of New York better than anyone considering how often you swing-“
“Of course I’ll help Matt.” Peter said, scrambling to cut him off from revealing his other secret identity.
Another hologram came out from the phone showing the streets, with red dots where bugs are wreaking havoc.
And so Peter gave his advice. Told the president where to set up perimeters, where to set up the missiles, and to ask the army to send him any body cam footage of Sam flying around in his pink suit.
“Thanks for all your help Peter. We really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome Matt.”
“You should get Stark to bring you back to the White House soon. We need to catch up and your room looks too empty. I’ll even let you sit in my chair in the Oval Office again.”
Peter laughed.
“All though don’t tell Stark. You know he’s been salty about not being allowed to sit in the chair after he spilled Ben and Jerrys on it.”
Peter laughed again.
His dad can be a stroppy toddler when he wants to be.
“I will Matt. See you soon.”
The hologram turned off and Peter chuckled to himself before looking up and remembering- oh yeah I’m still in the middle of class.
Shit.
“Soooooooo…” Peter said, looking around his class.
“Physics and I right? Ha ha.” The fake laugh did nothing to expel the shocked looks from the face of every student in the class.
Mr Harrington must have returned to consciousness during the phone call, but he looked a moment away from fainting again.
When no one said anything, Peter looked to Ned for help who just shrugged.
Thanks Ned.
Luckily, a giant cockroach burst through the wall at that very moment.
That definitely snapped everyone out of their shock.
And it stopped the awkwardness filling up the room.
Thank god for giant evil cockroaches.
Although there was a hole in the wall of his school now.
Oh well. Priorities.
Before anyone had the chance to even scream, Peter had kept to the wall and used all his super strength to hurl the huge roach away from the building.
Well that definitely didn’t look suspicious at all…
Fuck it.
“Well I just got off the phone with Tony Stark and the president so I guess the cats kind of out of the bag now- Ned, suit me.”
Ned grinned and dug Peters suit of of his bag, throwing it at him.
Peter quickly put it on, just in time to web the cockroach to the ground as it charged at the school again.
Wow it was determined. Maybe giant cockroaches ate children.
If he were a giant cockroach he’d probably eat children too.
Steve broke him from his thoughts as he ran up behind the cockroach as threw his shield at it, severing it’s head from its body.
Mmmm maybe he should paint cap’s shield pink next…
Not the time to be thinking about that.
Peter laughed.
“Too slow old man, I already called dibs on this one. Webbed it up all by myself and everything like a big boy.”
He saw a giant grasshopper in the distance.
“Race you to the grasshopper capcicle!” He yelled swinging away, and definitely not leaving Steve to deal with his class on purpose.
Steve looked around at the shocked faces of the 20 or so kids and one teacher.
“Hi Ned!” He waved at the kid. Ned waved back.
“Is everyone here alright? Sorry I let that one get away from me.”
No one said anything.
Peter screamed from a couple blocks over.
Steve heard a crash followed by a faint: “I’m ok!”
He should be head chuckling and looked to the teacher.
“Teenagers am I right?”
And he ran off to help him.
Mr Harrington fainted again.
-
If anyone was wondering, yes Peter did find a giant spider.
And yes, he did tame it and rode it around the battle like a horse.
Tony was not impressed with his new pet and told him he did not want ‘Fuzz lightyear’ (Peter is so creative) to live in the tower.
He lost that fight and now there’s a giant spider living in the vents.