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The first time she saw him again, they didn't even speak. It had been several weeks. Long enough for her bruises to heal, for rebuilding to start, for more Mandalorians to gather. But not long enough to forget his voice, his unwavering devotion.
It was just a brief moment. She was touring with some of the mandalorians who had remained on the surface, overseeing an inventory of resources. And she still wasn't used to having a people again, being the leader for so many at such a pivotal time.
She heard his young son first, the familiar coo and babble. It was one of the gardens, full of green and life and beauty and she turned quickly, her helmet under her arm as a smile spread widely across her face. Grogu was chasing dust in the air, the specks dancing in the light. Bo-Katan looked around, a sudden panic in her chest, but then there he was.
Din Djarin stood a ways back, shadowed from the light. And his helmet was so familiar, she sometimes thought she could read it as if it was his face. For what she saw now was his smile, his pride, his joy at watching his son have a moment of peace and happiness. She wondered about their life, after the Armourer sent them away for their journeys and travels. She'd had a flash of selfish anger then, by the Living Waters. She didn't want him to leave.
Seeing him reignited that feeling. Selfish anger mixed with relief at seeing him again. He turned his head slightly, his helmet catching a whisper of light, and he saw her. She stared, the smile fading from her face. And she cursed his helmet, for as much as she felt she could read his expression easily when he looked at his son, it was a complete mystery when he looked at her. And she ached for some expression, some validation, some indication that he was feeling as much as she made plain on her face.
He nodded and she almost heard his voice in her head. This is the Way. She nodded in return, not wanting to be a fool in front of her people by showing anything more. Duties called her, she had to leave, and by the time she finally was able to return, they were gone.
---
The first time she was able to visit Nevarro, he wasn't even there.
She went on a whim. It had been several weeks since the garden on Mandalore. And as much as she hated to admit it, she ached at the loss. They spent so much time together. Lived so close, fought side by side. Saved each other's lives. How could he disappear so easily?
Greef Kargu welcomed her warmly and was respectful enough not to mention her visible dismay at learning that Din Djarin and his young son were probably not there.
"I haven't seen Mando in a while. Have you checked the cabin?"
Bo-Katan couldn't hide her confusion and Greef Kargu's expression softened in compassion.
"They have a small cabin not far out of town. I'll get you the coordinates. They return on occassion but I haven't seen either of them for a few days so I don't think they're here."
Bo-Katan nodded her thanks, grateful she made this trip alone, despite the misgivings of Koska. Koska was dependable and Bo-Katan greatly valued her counsel, but there were some moments that still demanded solitude. This was one of those times.
She wandered around the exterior of the cabin. It was simple, peaceful. A tree and pond were close by and Bo-Katan sat on a chair on the porch, imagining Din Djarin doing the same as young Grogu would play nearby. The ache in her chest grew. Bo-Katan liked solitude. She craved being alone. But feeling lonely wasn't an experience she was used to, or enjoyed. She never knew what it meant to be lonely until she spent so much time by his side.
Bo-Katan stood, walking over to the pond. She picked up a few stones, moving them around in her hand before returning to the cabin. Pausing for only a moment, she placed the stones on the chair. Two larger stones, with a small one in between. Just so he would know she had been there.
Three weeks later, after returning from a mission in the mid-rim, she found those same three stones outside the door to her chambers, the same configuration of the smaller stone in between the larger ones. Alongside them was a sprig of a tree and she recognized it as a branch from the tree outside their cabin. She smiled even as she sighed.
---
The first time they spoke again, she felt anger before anything else. Anger, a spark of betrayal, all covering a deep shame and embarrassment. Because it had been months now. Months since they defeated Gideon. Months without a single word, only a few stones.
She was on the Gauntlet, checking inventory, small repairs. It was a job someone else could do, she knew, but it was her ship. Her home. And she needed the solitude as much as she needed to be near the memory of him.
She heard him first, his footfalls so familiar and distinct. She squared her shoulders, refusing to turn, continuing the go through the checklist in her hands.
"You're a hard person to find," he said.
"Not to anyone that was serious about looking." She toggled a switch, made a mark on her list, her back still to him. The silence was charged. Once, they could sit side by side without words for hours, comforted by the mere presence of the other. But time had taken that away, time and silence and a whole galaxy of uncertainty.
"He missed you."
Bo-Katan finally turned, looking around.
"Where is he?"
"With the other foundlings. Battle practice."
"Is that really a fair fight? With his abilities?"
"When do we ever have a fair fight?"
Bo-Katan sighed, glancing back at her checklist. "How can you tell?"
Din Djarin tilted his helmet slightly in confusion.
"You said Grogu missed me. How could you tell?"
"We're getting better at communicating. He made it clear we needed to visit."
Bo-Katan turned, clipping the checklist back onto the wall and headed for the cockpit. "Were you so resistant to such an idea?" Silence followed before he did, but his footfalls came soon after, his steps heavy. With contrition, perhaps? Or dismay?
"Bo," he finally said, but she wouldn't give in so easily.
"If you're sticking around this time, we will be heading out tomorrow. Another group of Mandalorians a couple days away. We are going to try to make contact, invite them to return. We could certainly use a few more bodies." She said it as if she was his queen, not his friend, and she wondered what he really thought of her.
He looked down and Bo-Katan stayed still, hoping she didn't push too far. She didn't want him to leave. But she also needed him to know how much his absence hurt.
"I vowed to serve you, Lady Kryze. If you want my help, you have it."
Bo-Katan couldn't help her laugh at his words. She shook her head, taking a breath. "I'm not asking for obligation. If you have other plans for you and your son, go. I have enough people that serve me out of mere loyalty. I don't need that from you."
"What do you need from me?"
Bo-Katan stared at him, at his expressionless helmet. He was a fool. He had to be a fool if he didn't already know. His Creed and his religion. It demanded too much. She was grateful to reunite the clans and the factions but didn't know what to do with this belief system, this zealotry.
How dare he? How dare he become her everything when she couldn't even see his face? When she had no idea his thoughts?
Taking a step closer to him, Bo-Katan spoke with deliberate fire. "I need a fighter, not a follower. I need your honor, not your pity. I need what we had in your covert, Din Djarin. An equal. Someone at my side. Someone I can talk to because there is nobody else I trust more."
He didn't move, and she cursed his helmet even more.
"If you can't be that," she added, taking a step closer, beskar against beskar. "Well, if you can't be that, then don't bother returning."
She waited a moment and when he didn't respond, she stepped back, then walked around him to exit the ship. She was halfway down the gangway before he spoke.
"I wasn't resistant to the idea of seeing you again."
Bo-Katan stopped, took a breath, then turned around.
"What were you resistant to?"
It was his turn to take a step closer, almost arms length. His face, his helmet, was unreadable.
"I don't know how to be a father to him."
Bo tilted her head, surprised by the change in conversation, and the unexpected admission. "You've done well so far."
"Adopting him changed things. I have to do what's best for him. I can't think of myself. It has to be for him. He wanted to come here so we came."
"But?"
He paused, and Bo felt her heart beating loudly in her chest.
"Every time I see you, it becomes harder to leave."
Bo couldn't help her quick intake of breath, the beginnings of a rush in her cheeks.
"And I can't place that burden on him," Din continued. "He can't be worried about me or he would never want to leave and never become the Mandalorian he needs to be. He needs to grow. And I can never be angry at him for that. He's my son."
He took another step closer.
"But know this, Lady Bo-Katan Kryze. If I could, I would never leave your side. Not because of pity, not to be a follower. But because there is nowhere that feels more like home than where you are."
He nodded, taking a respectful step back, before walking past her down the rest of the gangway. He turned back to her when he got to the bottom.
"I promised him I'd come get you. He really misses you. Will you come?"
Bo-Katan stared at him a moment, his helmet reflecting everything except himself. And for a moment, she could see. Could see his smile, his pride, as plain as she could see when he looked at his son.
She followed him with a tilt of her head.
"Lead the way."
---
The first time she saw his face, truly saw his face, was in his cabin in Nevarro. They had been flirting around the situation for far too long. In all their recent exchanges, their visits. Her heart was tied to his too tightly. She needed more.
She had been by the Great Forge, hypnotized by its heat, it's glow, its power. It was late, or early, the time when her solitude could possibly be mistaken for loneliness. So consumed was she by her own thoughts that she didn't hear that she had company until she heard the measured voice.
"You are troubled, Lady Bo-Katan Kryze." The Armourer's voice was like the forge itself, deliberate and powerful, even when she spoke quietly.
Bo-Katan stood fully, facing the mysterious woman. "I am well enough."
"But not well enough to yourself. The Great Forge displays our secrets, our strengths and weaknesses. You have done well by the Creed, walking Both Ways."
Bo-Katan nodded, uncertain how to respond.
"Din Djarin also walks Both Ways. I informed him of this on his last visit with his apprentice."
This time, Bo-Katan couldn't hide her surprise.
"The Creed is not intended to divide us," the Armourer continued. "The true strength of the Mandalore comes from unity, both with oneself and with those around you. You are a good leader and he is a good fighter, but both of your weaknesses stem from the same source. It is time for you to determine if you desire to walk the same path."
Bo-Katan's heart was like a drum in her chest. She lowered her eyes in respect. "This is the Way."
"This is the Way."
She left for Nevarro the following morning, landing the Gauntlet a couple kilometers away. She didn't want him to hear her arrival. For her own selfish reasons, she wanted to surprise him, not let him have time to prepare his words. She wanted his reaction, not his reverence.
R5, usually on sentry duty, was not to be seen, but the N-1 was there, parked behind the cabin. She approached slowly, trying to prepare herself for any outcome.
But she wasn't prepared for what she saw.
The cabin door was open and she heard rustling inside, the sound of movement. Putting her hand on her holster, Bo-Katan entered the darkened room.
His back was to her. His armour was on the table in the corner and he appeared to be polishing it. He wore a simple dark tunic and trousers, brown hair catching a beam of sunlight. She saw his helmet on the table with the armor and even though she was hoping for it, the sight of him, even just the back of his head, was overwhelming. She removed her helmet and he heard. He turned suddenly and they faced each other, Bo-Katan in her full armour, he without his.
She saw his eyes, soft and brown, a dark moustache, and it was too much, too much. She turned away on instinct, allowing him privacy.
"Don't," he said, reaching out but too far away to touch. Slowly Bo-Katan turned back to face him, her eyes moist without realizing. His voice was softer without his helmet and she revelled in the variation of it.
"The Armourer said I walk both ways," he explained.
"I know."
He sighed, his eyes pleading."It needed to be Grogu first. I wanted it here, his home. That's why we left right away."
"Do you not feel home on Mandalore?" She can't stop the bite in her tone, in her words.
"It has never been my home. The only reason I would call it any kind of home now is because of you."
Bo-Katan released a breath she didn't know she had been holding, taking a small step closer. He did the same, his stance both assured and nervous.
"What did he do?" she asked. "Your son, when he saw your face again."
Din's eyes never left hers, and Bo-Katan felt like she was spinning, spinning. "He touched it, like before," he said. He raised his hand to touch his own cheek. "Here. And he looked in my eyes."
She took a slow breath, imagining it. "How did it feel?"
"Like my parents." He stuttered, considering his words. "Like family."
Bo took a step closer and Din did as well. She set her helmet down on the bench beside the wall.
"And that night, he wouldn't leave. He slept here," he took her gloved hand in his bare one, placing in on the hollow between his neck and shoulder. "Probably to make sure I didn't put it on again," he added with a small chuckle. Bo felt his pulse beneath her fingers, his skin searing through her glove. She ached to take it off but didn't dare move.
"It took a long time to fall asleep," he admitted quietly, and she could actually feel his voice, the movement of air and warmth. "I'm not used to . . . contact."
Bo quickly pulled her hand away and his arm shot out, grabbing her by the wrist. His eyes never left hers and he tugged off her glove, dropping it to the floor before tentatively placing her hand back on his neck.
"Have you put it back on since?" Bo asked, proud of herself for forming words as he tugged off her other glove. It fell with a dull sound and she raised her other arm to his shoulder as he cupped her elbows with his hands.
"Whenever we leave. I've only taken it off here, in front of him."
She took a shuttering breath. "And now?" She leaned forward slightly, desperate for more contact. He tilted his head forward, then closed his eyes, suddenly leaning back before opening them to stare at her.
"Lady Kryze. Bo." His voice was haltering as she watched him search for words. "I've never. . . The women I've known." He clenched his eyes before opening them again. "I was close to removing my helmet for someone, once. But even with anyone else, it was always on."
Bo-Katan sighed, infinitely pleased he was not shying away from this, that he was open with her. She stretched her fingers to graze his jawline.
"I've had my share of a past, too. We both have. That's not important."
"Even the sensation of sunlight on my face is overwhelming," he confessed.
Her fingertips continued the draw small circles on his jaw. "Is this too much?"
He chuckled, his hands tight on her elbows. "It's a lot."
He leaned forward a bit more, their foreheads touching, and Bo felt it too. The overpowering sensation, the electricity of his hands as they slid up her from her elbows to her shoulders, then down to her waist. She shuffled closer.
"Do you want me to stop?"
He paused, and her heart stopped.
"No."
---
The first time they kissed was in a darkened cabin on a sun-drenched day on Nevarro. It started slow, her fingers still on his face as his hands clenched in the fabric under her armor. His moustache tickled her lip and she opened her mouth under his, taking as much as he offered. She stumbled closer and his arm tightened around her back.
It had never been like this. Not with anyone else. Bo-Katan felt like she was falling, drifting, but also sturdy, anchored by his lips and hands and body and love. She gasped for breath and they pulled apart, their foreheads once again touching.
"Where is Grogu anyway?"
His breath was fast and hot and she closed her eyes at the sight of him licking his lips before she could capture them again.
"Went to town with R5. He wanted to go to the market."
Bo chuckled. "You let them go alone?"
"I'm trying to let him be independent. It's not easy."
She sighed against his mouth and then they were kissing again. He was becoming more confident and Bo relished the feel of him as he explored her. She felt a deep longing start inside, the familiar ache. She felt him too, against her, and coiled at the thought.
He leaned back first, his eyes shining and it was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen. He slid his arm from her around her waist to take her hand even as he stepped back.
"Okay?" He sounded nervous, as if he was afraid she would be cruel.
She smiled. "Yes. Very okay."
They heard a familiar trill outside, and Grogu's excited babble.
Din tugged on her hand gently. "C'mere." His voice was low and she delighted in the sound of it without his helmet. "He's excited to see you. He missed you."
Bo tightened her grip on his hand. "Just him?"
Din just smirked, his moustache raising and Bo savoured him, his face, the feel of his hand. Together, they exited the cabin into the bright sunshine where Grogu was happily waiting.
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The end