Work Text:
University had changed Jesper, and he was sure it was for the worse. He was doing work while his friends were out having fun without him, but he guessed it was his fault for procrastinating. He just couldn’t focus, especially when he could hear the music blaring from another student accommodation down the road. Everyone was having fun except him, well, except for Kaz, who had planted himself in the kitchen and refused to let Jesper out of the house. Like he needed to be guarded or something.
For maybe the tenth time that evening, Jesper rolled his desk chair out from under the desk with his feet and turned to look out the window. Did they not like him anymore or something? No, of course they like you, everyone does. But the voice in Jesper’s head sounded unsure.
They had even asked Wylan to go with them, who Jesper expected to refuse yet again, but when he didn’t, he wondered. He wondered if it was because he wasn’t going. He knew he got a little… flirtatious and teasing when he was drunk, but he’d never intend to make Wylan or anybody else uncomfortable. In fact, Jesper was a little surprised by Wylan.
‘ You’re going?’ Jesper had said incredulously that morning, when Nina had asked him. Wylan’s smile had dropped a little. ‘And I’m not? The universe is broken.’
Inej had spoken for him, ‘Only the people who have finished all their work get to get drunk.’
‘Okay mum. ’
Wylan had piped up, his voice quite nervous. After all, he was relatively new to their group so Jesper couldn’t really blame him for wanting to get in there and go out with them. ‘I- I’m not getting drunk. I just want to have fun.’
Nina had laughed a little. ‘Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, darling.’
Wylan had frowned. ‘I just… I don't like alcohol.’
‘Of course you don’t,’ Jesper said. Wylan had looked disappointed, and for some reason, Jesper knew he felt the same way. He shook himself, and stormed out the room.
‘Kaz will be keeping an eye on you!’ Inej had called after him, which earned a whiny groan from Jesper but he couldn’t blame them.
And if he really thought about it, they weren’t wrong, Jesper wouldn’t be able to help himself. He was a sloppy drunk, and as he laid back in his squeaky desk chair, he began to wonder what Wylan would be like. He’d probably be somehow even posher, Jesper thought, and found himself grinning uncontrollably. Before he could stop himself, he was laughing at the image of Wylan, well-behaved good grades Wylan, stumbling and slurring over his words.
He would look cute like that.
Jesper rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head quickly, leaning back over the laptop. He wrote one word on the document before planting his head down on the desk.
Wylan wasn’t his type at all, his record definitely showed that. He was proper, he was so proper that when he went against that part of himself, it surprised Jesper enough to interest him. It wasn’t fair, like Wylan was playing a game called ‘will I be annoying today or infuriatingly sweet?’
Jesper heard his phone vibrate from the bed, and he instantly reached for it, desperate for a distraction. It rang out with Nina’s face on the lock screen, and Jesper refrained from smiling or getting his hopes up. He slid his finger across to accept the call.
‘Missing me are you?’ Jesper said instantly, tapping his foot on the carpet. Nina didn’t answer with anything at first, and Jesper’s stomach dropped a little. There was typical party noise in the background, and Nina’s heavy breathing. ‘Nina? You alright?’
‘Who’s at home with you right now?’ Her voice was a little frantic.
‘Wow, no ‘hello’ for me—‘
‘Jesper!’
‘Okay, Jesus, well… it’s just me and Kaz at the moment, mate.’
Nina blew out a breath but it wasn’t of relief. ‘Shit.’
‘Wh- what?’ Jesper sat up in his chair and bounced his leg, closing the laptop.
‘It’s… it’s nothing, just— we lost Wylan. We went to the toilet and we left him at the bar, but now we literally cannot find him anywhere . Matthias is looking around the town, but still hasn’t found him.’
‘Look, I’m sure he’s fine, ’ Jesper said, but he bit his lip slightly, bouncing his leg even harder. Wylan certainly wasn’t fit for the city at night, he thought.
Last time we saw him though, he was really drunk and…’ Nina trailed off, talking to someone else. Jesper sat up, eyebrows raised.
‘He’s drunk? Wylan?’
‘Yeah and very very annoying.’
‘He might still be in the club y’know, he’s quite small and you might just not be able to see…’ Jesper thought about what might happen to him and found his brow furrowing. He looked out the window and subconsciously hoped that Wylan would be there, safe and sound.
‘Exactly, he could be hurt or worse, I don’t know.’ Jesper fell silent. ‘Can you help, please? Kaz has already offered to knock on all the rooms.’
‘Um, yeah. Sure.’ Jesper squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to dwell on what Nina had said about Wylan getting hurt or worse. He remembered his own times when he had wandered off from the group.
Jesper sat up again. ‘Wait, Nina, what did he seem like when you last saw him?’
‘Uh, I dunno Jesper, just very drunk. Sort of quiet, like maybe he was sad.’
Jesper nodded. ‘Got it, okay I’ll help. I’ll text you if I find him.’ Then he hung up without bothering to say goodbye.
Jesper recognised this drunk mood. He’d lived through it many times before, amongst all his other moods that he got himself into. When he was tired and drunk he would crash on the floor, or just anywhere. When he was flirty drunk he’d find someone else. When he was sad drunk he would go anywhere but back to his room where thoughts encompassed you.
He got his coat and put his shoes on clumsily before stumbling down the stairs and out the main door of the accommodation. He didn’t know his full way around campus yet, it had only been around four months since they started, which meant it was cold outside as well. The thought of Wylan possibly alone, drunk, freezing and scared disturbed Jesper more than he liked.
The first place that he ran off to was the Chemistry building, silently laughing to himself, thinking about how much of a nerd Wylan was if he went to the science building to cheer himself up. But when he looked in all the rooms, there was nothing but darkness and empty chairs and tables stacked up. He was a little surprised, seeing as how much Wylan spent in this place getting his grades up.
Jesper felt his hand twitch with nerves as he walked out of the building. Just where else could he be? As far as Jesper knew, Wylan didn’t have many interests other than chemical equations or maths.
Jesper’s quick walk around campus turned into a light jog, checking his phone. No news it seemed. He walked past the english block, the mathematics building, the amphitheater, and there seemed to be absolutely no sign of Wylan. Jesper figured he should just give up and go home with no news, even though he hated disappointing people. But that was until he walked past the music building.
There was a little light on in one of the small windows on the first floor, and since Jesper had pretty much no other option or thoughts on where Wylan could be, he ran to the building.
Skipping every other step, Jesper sprinted up the stairs and prayed that when he opened the door to the lit up practice room, he would find Wylan safe and sound, and hopefully not kissing someone or more. He embarrassingly found himself heating at the thought of it.
When he threw the door open, surprised it wasn’t locked, Jesper saw Wylan curled up on the floor in a ball who flinched hard at the sound. Jesper found himself out of breath, every word like a gasp.
‘Fucking hell, Wylan. Everyone’s been looking for you,’ he said, getting out his phone so he could text the others. Once he had, he saw that Wylan hadn’t even bothered to respond, head leant against the soft wall of the music room, knees brought up to his chest as his head was tilted sideways.
He had small headphones on, and his eyes were inexplicably miserable, bloodshot and slightly closed. He had the littlest of grins on his face, like he was thinking about something else.
Jesper frowned. ‘What are you doing?’ he asked impatiently. Wylan didn’t answer, swaying a little, almost like he was moving to the rhythm of the music he was listening to.
‘Wylan, Wylan, ’ Jesper pushed, walking over so he was right in front of him. He felt a little anger rising inside him, bending down so he was at his level. Jesper shook him by the shoulders. ‘What are you doing? Everyone’s worried, y’know.’
Wylan didn’t answer, but this time, he finally looked up at Jesper with his big sad eyes and Jesper felt a rush of guilt all of a sudden. Jesper softened his voice a tad.
‘Hey… what are you doing here, huh?’ Jesper was genuinely curious, considering that he had no idea that Wylan liked music at all. He looked at the headphones over Wylan’s ears and brought his hands over them, checking Wylan’s face for permission before taking them off slowly. ‘Asleep’ by The Smiths was playing through them, and Wylan searched for his phone sluggishly, turning it off.
‘Everyone was worried about you, like, Matthias was going all over town looking for you.’ Wylan didn’t answer. Jesper felt a little awkward in the silence of it, but he took a deep breath and inspected Wylan’s face for any injuries. ‘Are you alright? Did anyone hurt you?’
Wylan shook his head slowly, eyes not reaching Jesper’s gaze as he looked down and fiddled with his fingers. Jesper sighed and thought about taking a different approach.
‘You… you like The Smiths?’ Jesper asked, rolling his eyes at how awkward he sounded. Wylan looked up and shrugged. ‘I personally prefer Queen or Bowie myself but…’ He tried to smile at him so that Wylan could reciprocate, but it didn’t seem to work.
Jesper sighed and let the quietness encompass them in a shroud, giving way to Wylan’s wet sniffling. ‘How…’ came Wylan’s small croaky voice. ‘How did you know I was here?’ His words were extremely slurry, but Jesper understood most of them.
‘Saw a light on,’ Jesper replied, gesturing around the room. ‘Had no idea you liked music, Wylan. That’s… interesting. Be careful, I might start thinking you’re interesting too.’ Wylan slowly blinked at him, then leaned away from the wall and towards Jesper, still not looking him in the eye.
It was like that for an awkward ten seconds until Jesper asked, ‘What— what are you doing here?’
Wylan let out a small sob, and Jesper almost jumped at the sound of it. He had never seen or heard Wylan cry before.
‘Have you…’ Wylan began, before swaying slightly and looking very pale. ‘Have you ever felt so… trapped you thought you’d… like…’ he said, cutting himself off.
Jesper frowned and felt an uneasy swirling in his stomach, gently putting a hand on Wylan’s shoulder to steady him. ‘Woah, Wylan—‘ His words were cut off when Wylan fell into him, leaning his forehead against his chest. Jesper couldn’t see him, so he didn’t know if he was crying or what, but he certainly hoped not. ‘Hey, are you okay?’
‘So trapped you thought you’d scream so hard you’d explode?’ Wylan’s words were jumbled and slurred together. Jesper frowned and shifted so that he was properly sat on the floor, and hesitantly wrapped Wylan in the hug that he clearly wanted.
Just as he tightened it, Wylan pulled away from him and sniffed, swaying so bad that he almost fell sideways until Jesper caught him.
‘Woah there,’ Jesper chuckled. ‘Drank quite a bit, didn’t you?’
‘Um…’ Wylan giggled sadly, his face flushed red. ‘I don’t like alcohol. Bad memories I guess.’ He sniffed again and rubbed his nose.
Jesper suddenly felt a rush of guilt and refrained from asking what those bad memories were exactly. ‘But you still drank it. Did Nina make you or something?’ He tried to laugh and so did Wylan, though the noise got lost in his throat.
‘Nah, I… just thought it would make me feel better. It kinda did for a bit,’ Wylan said, letting Jesper fill in the gap at the end. ‘Do you like me Jesper?’
The question was so out-of-the-blue that Jesper almost felt winded, frowning and looking away before letting out an awkward snort of laughter. ‘Yeah of course, why?’ he said simply.
Wylan’s eyes were bloodshot, and they were so heavy, every second that he kept them open was a feat. ‘Well, that’s a lie.’
Jesper bit the skin on his lip, remembering all the times that he had teased Wylan, all the times that he had made fun of his clothes or his posh southern accent, or his smarts. He was terrible. ‘Why would you think that?’
Wylan shrugged again. ‘Because you make everyone laugh.’ Jesper tilted his head to question it. ‘At all your jokes about me and stuff,’ he mumbled, looking down at his fingers again and twisting them around each other.
‘They… they really hurt your feelings? I’m just joking around Wylan, you know that.’
Wylan shook his head slowly. ‘So you don’t… hate me?’
Jesper’s heart stung, and he leaned down a little so that his face was a bit closer to Wylan’s, making the drunken boy look at him finally. ‘Listen, I don’t hate you, of course I don’t. I’m sorry if I made it feel that way,’ he sighed, but Wylan didn’t look at him. ‘Really, Wylan. You’re just a little…’ He rolled his eyes. Was he really going to say this now? ‘Intimidating.’
Wylan finally looked up at him, eyes slightly wet. But Jesper carried on talking,
‘Besides, if we hated you, then we wouldn’t have been looking all over town and campus for you, would we?’
Wylan’s cheeks went pink again, as he blinked and looked away, grinning from ear to ear. Jesper couldn’t help but match it, feeling his heart ache in a different way.
‘You find me intimidating?’ Wylan mumbled sluggishly, fingers going up to his lips as if he was ready to bite his nails. Jesper bit the inside of his cheek and tried to laugh it off.
‘Well, you’re very smart. And quite closed-off. But you’re interesting, like…’ Jesper looked around the room as Wylan kept on grinning drunkenly, his eyes sparkling. ‘Why are you here and not in a lab or something?’
Wylan scrunched his mouth to the side as if he was considering something, then shyly looked down. ‘Um… I just like it here, it’s soundproof.’
Jesper smiled at him incredulously, raising his eyebrows. Wylan slumped dramatically and groaned, which Jesper thought was a little overreaction.
‘Fine, I like musical… thingies. What are they called?’ Wylan counted something on his fingers and muttered random words to himself, making endearing laughs bubble in Jesper’s chest. ‘Increments? In… In… What—‘
‘Instruments, Wylan.’
‘Yeah! That’s what I like.’
Jesper felt his facial muscles pull up into another grin at Wylan’s unexpected interest. ‘Ooh, which ones?’
All of a sudden, Wylan looked back down at his hands again, fiddling with his fingers as he swayed with the drunken haze. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he mumbled.
‘No, no, I wanna know.’
There was a pause in which Wylan’s lips were pushed out in concentration, his eyes roaming over Jesper and then around the room, some more colour rising to his cheeks. Jesper had never wanted to kiss him so badly, and the thought of it was no longer unwanted. He found himself missing the little hug that Wylan had given him, wishing he could go back in time and get to know him before teasing him.
‘Uh, the flute and the piano. Don’t make fun of me,’ Wylan slurred out, whining a little on the last sentence, before leaning his forehead on Jesper’s shoulder again.
Jesper barked out a laugh and found his arms subconsciously wrapping around Wylan’s torso, and just as he realized he was bringing him close, Jesper couldn’t stop. ‘I won’t make fun of you, it’s great that you like those things. And you’re also good at chemistry? That’s pretty brilliant, and so are you.’
Wylan giggled and shifted in his arms so he burrowed his head closer. ‘Nah…’ he drawled, as Jesper could feel him smiling.
The world went quiet except for Wylan’s soft breathing and little sniffs that he made, and Jesper didn’t dare to move a muscle in case it disturbed his calm state. It had been a couple minutes before Jesper slowly moved his head back so he could look at Wylan’s face. His eyes were closed, and he looked so relaxed it was almost like…
‘Wylan?’ Jesper shook him. He stirred a little and made a small noise, lifting his head. ‘Were you asleep?’ Wylan nodded and rubbed his eyes. ‘Oh God, you drooled on me, Wy—‘ Jesper groaned and only began smiling when he heard Wylan giggling uncontrollably again, the noises turning into full-on laughs.
‘Sorry, I’m just so… tired ,’ Wylan replied. The way he said it made Jesper perk up, curiously looking at the way his eye bags were larger than usual, the circles under his eyes were darkening.
‘Wanna go to bed?’ Jesper asked, standing up and putting a hand out for Wylan. He ignored it and stood up by himself, albeit shakily, steadying himself with his hands out once he was fully up.
‘I think, I think I got it,’ Wylan said before walking forwards and stumbling forth into Jesper, going limp in the knees.
‘Okay, it’s okay, I got you,’ Jesper reassured him, letting him push himself back up. They steadily began to walk, but Wylan could barely take step without almost falling over again. Jesper’s heart ached and he put an arm around his shoulder. ‘Are you dizzy there?’ Wylan nodded, smiling dumbly.
‘A little bit.’ He giggled and they walked out of the room.
‘Oh, I think you’re a lot dizzy. Sure you wanna walk down these stairs?’ They both looked down and Wylan turned to stare at Jesper with eyes that sparkled with the joy of drunkenness. Then they flashed with an idea, as he opened his mouth almost in shock.
‘You could carry me, Jesper!’ Wylan whispered. Jesper frowned but smiled, laughing in his surprise.
‘Uh, you’re overestimating my core strength quite a bit.’
Wylan hummed and looked at him again, almost stumbling into him with how far he swayed. ‘But you have… big arms or some shit.’ The words blurred together but Jesper could just about make them out.
‘Wow, Wylan, I…’ He wanted to say something back, something witty or at least a little quip that would make Wylan go quiet and blush again. But he found he didn’t want to. Or at least, he couldn’t. Not when Wylan’s eyes were burning holes in his head. ‘Just grab my arm.’
Wylan obliged with a smug smile and leaned against him the whole way down, pressing his cheek up against his shoulder. He clung onto Jesper like a vice out of the door as well and down the path, but he didn’t mind at all. He could smell the stench of the alcohol that Wylan drank, and Wylan kept drooling on the corner of Jesper’s shoulder, but at least he was safe. Suddenly, Jesper felt him let go and he immediately reached out on instinct.
Wylan gasped. ‘What’s that?’ He pointed to a large poster on one of the notice boards. ‘It looks pretty sexy or something,’ he slurred, making Jesper laugh.
‘Uh, it says Romeo and Juliet on it,’ Jesper said before pulling Wylan back as he began to wander off towards it. ‘One of those plays the theatre students are doing this weekend.’
Wylan looked up at him with surprisingly shocked eyes again, reminding Jesper slightly of an excitable dog. ‘We should go!’
Jesper tilted his head. ‘Well, Nina did say she wanted—‘
Wylan shook him by the arm, surprising Jesper again at how confident he was. When he was sober, he wouldn’t dare touch anyone really, and if he did, it would be in hesitation. ‘No, I meant just the two of us, Jes.’
A pleasant prickling went over Jesper’s skin. Wylan was drunk, Jesper reminded himself, he probably would have said that to anyone. ‘Oh really?’
Wylan nodded, looking up at Jesper with the most infuriatingly gorgeous eyes, and while Jesper was never the one to break eye contact, he did so this time.
Jesper sniffed and chewed on the inside of his cheek as they walked, pretending to think as his mind went in circles around the idea of asking Wylan on a date, then remembering he probably wouldn’t even remember this night. What did he have to lose?
‘I’ll be happy to go, sweetheart,’ Jesper attempted, wanting to sound flirtatious, but instead it came out more sweet than desired. Wylan bobbed up and down, and seeing him happy in contrast to how he was earlier when he’d found him made Jesper feel heat in his cheeks. ‘But just to warn you, I don’t know shit about plays or symbolism or any of that. So we may not be spending much of our time watching the play.’
Wylan giggled and whispered, ‘Me neither.’
He wasn’t sure why, but Jesper felt a shiver down his spine at that. Whenever Jesper had flirted with Wylan before, the boy blushed and rolled his eyes, retorting with an angry quip that sometimes worked. He had never reciprocated, and Jesper assumed that he liked it that way. But now he wasn’t sure at all. What did some people say about how you become unfiltered when you’re drunk?
‘Home now!’ Wylan said loudly, letting go of Jesper’s arm and stumbling round the path to the door. ‘I don’t wanna go inside—‘ Wylan began to shout before falling against the door and bursting into giggles.
Jesper tried to follow him and shush him, looking at the lights in the window. ‘Shh, Wylan there are people sleeping, c'mon let’s get you to bed.’ He searched for his keys and then began to unlock the door and Wylan grabbed his arm.
His laughing stopped for a second as he pouted. ‘Aw, bed already? But i’ss like… ten firty.’
‘Listen to yourself, you drunkard.’ Wylan laughed again and fell into the hallway as the door clicked open, Jesper catching him at the last second. ‘Ooh thankyou… prince man.’
‘What?’ Jesper snorted and tried to steady Wylan, who slumped over like a limp ragdoll. ‘I’m serious now, okay? You need to slee—‘
‘Since when did you become such a goody goody?’ Wylan said extremely loudly, as if he was wearing headphones with music blaring through them. Jesper shushed him again, putting a finger to his own lips, which led to Wylan copying him a little.
‘You need to be quiet, alright?’ Jesper eased.
Wylan scowled a little before rolling his eyes and following Jesper, leaning on him as they climbed the stairs. ‘Fine but only… because you’ve been nice to me.’ He sighed happily.
Jesper felt himself smiling uncontrollably, letting himself fall down a deep rabbit hole of thoughts as he looked back at Wylan, his eyes half closed, cheeks flushed. He had never seen him like this before, and to think that this might be over soon, Jesper felt a little mournful.
But then he reminded himself that this technically was Wylan, just a version of him that seemed trapped inside of the fake one.
They slowly stepped down the hallway to Wylan’s room and once Jesper had opened the door and let Wylan go inside, he smiled and was ready to say goodnight until he saw what he was searching for: a moment of hesitation in Wylan’s eyes.
‘Jesper…’ Wylan breathed, his eyes more tired than he’d seen them so far. During the walk to his room, he had calmed down from his flirtatious state. Now he just looked sleepy and a little weak from the drunkenness.
‘Hmm?’
Wylan looked at his fingers. ‘I was just…’ He carried on speaking, but it was so quiet and blurry that Jesper couldn’t concentrate on any of the words.
He sighed and walked forwards, taking Wylan’s hand away from his mouth as he had begun to bite his nails. Jesper suspected something might happen , he had seen it in Wylan’s eyes whenever he looked into them that night. He just wasn’t comfortable with taking advantage like that, but he was also uncomfortable with making Wylan disappointed.
Jesper’s dilemma was soon solved, however, as Wylan said, ‘Can you sleep in my room?’ He looked at Jesper again, and even though he had thought he’d be disappointed at the lack of flirtation or playful teasing, Jesper found himself nodding without considering any other option. And before he had realised what he’d done, he went weak at the sight of Wylan’s bright toothy grin.
Jesper winced but he had to say it. ‘I’m not going to have… sex with you, Wy. Not when you’re drunk.’ Wylan’s face was still and Jesper felt his stomach drop a little. He had said something wrong, again, hadn’t he?
‘Okay. I just wanna… hug anyway, so.’ Wylan sniffed. Jesper didn’t think he’d grin at that more than the prospect of actually sleeping with anyone, but he did.
His eyes dropped a little, looking like he was about to sleep standing up. Jesper caught him before he fell, wrapping his arms around him.
‘Hey, hey, you need to sleep, right now.’ He brushed the curled back from Wylan’s forehead as they sat on the bed and Jesper took his jacket off. ‘Are you feeling sick or anything?’ Wylan shook his head, eyes shut completely. ‘Do you need water? Do you want to sleep in your clothes? I think you need to drink something I’ll…’ Jesper left Wylan laying on the bed as he went to the sink and poured a glass.
When he brought it back, Wylan slowly got back up and accepted the water, gulping it down. He took a deep breath when he finished and opened his blue, blood shot eyes, staring them right at Jesper. ‘You are… nice. You’re sweeter than I thought, Jessy.’
‘“Jessy”?’ Jesper asked with a laugh, taking off his own jacket and shoes before pausing. Would Wylan be uncomfortable with him just in his boxer shorts and t-shirt?
Wylan laughed back sleepily. ‘Yeah, it’s cute.’ He looked over at Jesper hesitating. ‘What are ya doing?’
Jesper rubbed the back of his neck and then sniffed, both things that he did when he was nervous. ‘You won’t feel uncomfortable if I…’ He gestured to his trousers and it took Wylan a second before he started grinning a little, his face going red.
‘Oh. ‘m okay with that. So tired.’ He flopped back down onto the bed and pressed the side of his face further into the pillows. Jesper felt a sudden rush of affection for him, wanting to wrap Wylan up in his arms and give him a kiss on the forehead, instead of all the other things he thought he’d want to do. And besides, there were still many questions about Wylan that Jesper had.
Jesper sighed and looked down at the floor, wondering if there would be enough room to sleep on it. It was possible, he thought, as he looked under the bed for something to sleep on.
‘Jes?’ Came a small voice on the bed.
‘Yeah?’ He popped his head back up to see that Wylan had laid and pressed himself up against the wall, pushing the covers to the side. He raised his eyebrows.
He said, ‘I thought you were going to…’
As soon as Jesper saw the disappointment on Wylan’s drunken face, he sprang up and got on the bed, pulling the minimal covers over himself.
It was a small bed, as per usual of the uni dorms, but Wylan didn’t seem to mind, a little smile appearing on his face. Trying to be polite and respectful, Jesper kept himself to the edge of the bed, but it was a difficult task as their legs entangled.
‘Sorry I—‘ Jesper began, but was cut off by his own breath catching when Wylan snuggled into his chest, taking a deep and relaxed breath. He let out a small noise that let Jesper know he was at peace. Jesper’s muscles had seized up a bit, but once he heard the soft rhythm of Wylan’s breathing, he relaxed as well, putting his arms around him and squeezing him close.
Jesper closed his eyes and buried his face into the irresistible softness of Wylan’s hair, ready to fall asleep. But then the boy stirred again.
‘Do you think that the others invited me because they like me or because they feel bad?’ Wylan’s voice was quiet but it was enough to make Jesper get over his apprehension and cup Wylan’s cheek, bringing his face out from his chest.
‘Wylan, we do like you. We all love you, in fact. You’re great, it was never the same when we went out without you.’ Wylan nodded, but he didn’t fall back into the hug. Jesper exhaled slowly, and he shook his head at himself. ‘Why…’
‘Mhm?’
‘Why do you feel… trapped? You said you felt trapped earlier.’ Jesper winced a little as Wylan’s face fell, drooping. But then he let out a small laugh, looking into the space of Jesper’s chest.
‘I just love music, it’s always been my um… what’s the word? Passion?’ Jesper nodded, listening. ‘But my father… You remember him, right?’
Jesper frowned. How could he not? He remembered the way that Wylan darkened every time he called, texted him or was even mentioned. There was an air about Wylan when that happened, it was glum and defeated, it scared Jesper sometimes too.
He had always played it off as a joke though, thinking about how all rich fathers acted like this, pressuring and strict, but amusing to make fun of in private. Joking around with Wylan and laughing about his father didn’t seem sensitive in the moment but now Jesper remembered how he had stiffened and looked around him as if he was somehow listening.
It made him wonder if everything he thought about Wylan was wrong. This whole night did.
‘I remember him.’
Wylan sniffed and buried his face into Jesper’s chest again, like he didn’t want to look at him. ‘He wanted me to take chemistry. Said that music was a worthless skill.’ Jesper’s stomach dropped and a prickling of anger went up his arm.
‘It is not worthless Wy—‘ Jesper began.
‘But I love it. Probably more than you, heh.’
Jesper kept silent, suspicious that Wylan had probably not meant to say that. He had misspoken or something. ‘Good,’ was all that Jesper whispered back.
There was something else on his lips too, though. I think I do too. Before he knew it, he was saying it into Wylan’s hair.
‘I think I do too.’
He waited for Wylan to do something, and for a few seconds he didn’t, just carrying on getting comfortable in that position.
But soon enough, Jesper felt Wylan move again, tilting his head up very slightly so that his curls came away from Jesper’s face. His eyes were shut, and they were both under the covers up to their shoulders, the one pillow that they shared plumped up to perfection. Rain had begun to fall outside the window, the tapping of it on the window making Jesper feel cosier than ever.
But the cosiness of it paled in comparison to Wylan’s lips. The kiss was barely a kiss, virtually a brush of the lips, but it was enough so that Jesper could kiss back for a second.
As soon as Wylan had done it, he pressed back into the space between Jesper’s arms, which wrapped properly around him, bringing him close.
Jesper dared to plant a small kiss on the top of his head. But it didn’t matter if Wylan noticed or not, he was already asleep.
‘Thankyou,’ Jesper whispered, and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it had something to do with the fact Jesper had never felt this safe with a person in their bed before. Maybe it was because it made him realise he deserved better than one night stands.
Or the fact that Wylan was all he wanted.