Actions

Work Header

The Collector's Space Trip

Summary:

The Collector takes a journey to a Galaxy Far, Far Away. One-shot. Takes place post TOH Season 3.

Notes:

I say I'm done with fanfiction to focus on my Beyond Reality series, then I come back to writing fanfiction anyway. Whatever, this was an idea for a one-shot that just came to me that takes place after the series finale of Owl House.

It's mostly crack, but I tried to keep everyone in-character, and don't expect me to write any more chapters in this story as it's basically just a one-shot, but I've said enough, and without further ado, let's dive right in.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Owl House or Star Wars.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Eda, King and Luz sat on the couch staring at the three figures across from them. Luz had a raised eyebrow and a deadpan look, but she was willing to hear out the explanation, Eda was simply drinking some of her homemade apple blood with a bored expression, and King was the one who was most willing to give their guest the benefit of the doubt.

"So, Collector..." Luz wasn't sure how to broach the subject to the young star child delicately, so she decided to rip the band-aid off. "Why exactly did you turn these two into puppets?"

"Yeah, I thought you had stopped doing that." Eda deadpanned with a sip of apple blood as she gestured to the armored puppet. "I mean, I get that the armored one looks cool and all, but that's not exactly a good reason to turn people into puppets. And the old cloaked one just looks creepy."

"Look, just hear me out guys." The Collector replied with a placating gesture. "So, I was flying through the stars in this galaxy far far away... and I think it might have been in another universe...?" The Collector tapped their chin before shaking their head. "Anyway, that's not important right now. So, I saw all these cool planets full of life, but there were also these weird white armored people who weren't playing nice with them."

...

TK-622 was trembling in fear at the sight of two thousand juggernauts that had been scrapped to pieces in front of them, and he wasn't the only one. His had been called in as reinforcements for a prisoner transport, with sporadic claims that a Jedi had broken out an entire convoy of Wookiee slaves, which wasn't possible.

When they arrived, they found a kid who was dressed in what could be mistaken for some sort of Jedi robes, with a bizarre cap on his head. His face had a moon painted on half of it and the irises of his eyes were an unnatural shade of red as he turned to them with an expression of curiosity.

"Open fire! OPEN FIRE!"

The panicked shout of the stormtrooper commander was followed by dozens of blaster bolts that shot out towards the strange kid who was floating in the air without any sort of propulsion. The sheer amount of blaster fire should have been enough to put the Jedi down, but as each bolt impacted, it's like they just... disappeared into thin air.

"Guys, I'm not here to play laser tag." The kid didn't even seem strained as he actually plucked a blaster bolt out of the air and inspected it in his hand like it was a solid object. "Look, I saw you all taking these cute and furry guys here," the kid gestured to the crowds of Wookiees who were practically bowing in awe at the sight. "And it seemed like you were holding them against their will."

His words went unheeded as the stormtroopers kept firing, with frantic and panicked shouting echoing among their ranks. Eventually the kid grew annoyed and he snapped his fingers, causing all their blasters to abruptly vanish in an explosion of glitter.

"You can all have your toys back when I get some answers." The kid floated up to TK-622, who felt his armor get uncomfortably warm and wet. "So, do you think I can speak to your manager?" He asked innocently.

...

"So anyway, after getting some details on this 'Galactic Empire'" The Collector used finger quotes upon saying that. "I decided to travel to their capital planet, which was actually one big city all over."

"Wait, really?" King did a double take, as did Luz.

"Seriously?" Luz asked with an excited expression. "Mami, Hunter and Gus would probably love that."

"We can tell them about that later." Eda interjected, not unkindly before waving her hooked hand to the Collector. "Anyway kid, you were saying?"

"Right, so I go to this Imperial Palace of theirs to meet up with their Emperor." This drew a dark expression from everyone in the room at that title, as unpleasant memories from the past of the Isles were brought to the forefront. "Anyway, on the way, I met this guy, who tried to stop me." They gestured to the figure in dark armor next to them.

...

Darth Vader ignited his lightsaber, unsure of what to make of the strange child in front of him. He lacked any strength in the Force, that much was certain, but the fact that he was floating off the ground and upside down at that, made it clear that there was much more to him than met the eye.

"You are trespassing." Vader said as he gestured with his lightsaber, determined to stop this intruder regardless. "You will surrender or be destroyed."

"Man, that suit looks really uncomfortable." Far from being intimidated, the child simply tilted his head with a curious expression. "Doesn't it get hot in there?"

"This is your last chance." Vader warned as he reached out with the Force to try and choke the child, but found that his power seemed to just slide off him. A tingle of fear crawled up Vader's spine, but he pushed it down as he instead reached out to grab a heavy piece of machinery from its mounting. "Surrender, and I will spare your life."

The child stared, then just started laughing, his free floating movement taking him the right way up. Angered by the insolence of this boy, Vader used the Force to hurl the machine at his back, while simultaneously throwing his lightsaber at him.

The machine impacted the floating boy... only to shatter on impact, doing no damage to the child himself. This did cause the boy to stop laughing though, as he noticed the lightsaber flying towards him, which halted in mid-air just an inch from the boy's face.

Vader's eyes went wide behind his helmet as the boy grabbed the blade of the lightsaber with his bare hand. The child's expression changed from amusement to annoyance with just a hint of anger in his eyes.

"You're not being very nice right now." A strange... sticker?... of a half moon appeared in the child's other hand, which flew towards Vader's helmet.

...

"That's also how I got this thing." The Collector pulled out the lightsaber hilt, activating it to show the red energy blade.

"Woah." All the residents of the Owl House spoke in unison, looking at the laser blade before Luz spoke up again.

"Yeah, Mami, Hunter and Gus would love to get their hands on that." She said, before King shook his head.

"Getting back on track, so you went to see this... Emperor of theirs." He pointed to the puppet in black robes, still standing in the middle of the room. "How did that go?"

"He was actually really nice at first." The Collector replied. "He sent all his guards away, listened to my concerns, really felt like a decent person. Then he told me about how this Empire of his had been forged from the remains of the Old Republic."

"And?" Eda asked, to which the Collector suddenly became sheepish.

"I... might have been spacing out through the explanation." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, drawing three unamused stares from the residents of the Owl House. "What?" He shrugged. "It was all boring political stuff."

"Okay, fair enough." King agreed with a shrug of his own, causing Eda to facepalm and Luz to sigh.

"Alright, then what happened?" Luz asked.

"Well, I suggested what you all taught me." The Collector replied. "That perhaps the galaxy just required kindness and forgiveness."

...

When this strange child had simply appeared in his throne room, Emperor Palpatine was no fool. Despite his inherent lack of any strength in the Force, the fact that this... boy had made it deep into the heart of the Empire and into his own sanctum showed that whatever he was, he was not to be trifled with.

That was why he had ordered his guards to leave and for no one else to interfere. To attempt to fight was just an exercise in futility, especially given how Vader had clearly been little more than a roadblock to this being.

And of course... there was the possibility of gaining a powerful ally. It was clear from this boy's mannerisms and way of speaking that for whatever power he possessed, he had all the mentality of a child. A child who could therefore be easily manipulated.

And so Darth Sidious had patiently explained the origins of the Empire and how it had come to pass, leaving out his own culpability in the matter as well as the matter of the Jedi. Better to leave this child to believe that things were simply a big misunderstanding, after all.

It seemed to be going well, the boy seemed to be very receptive to his arguments. Granted, the usual Force persuasion had absolutely no effect, which was a problem, but the child's naivete could still be easily exploited.

But then the boy brought up how he could just fix the galaxy with kindness and forgiveness, and it was like a spark to a flame. Kindness and forgiveness. This child clearly had power beyond imagining, power that made him a god to all the pathetic beings in the galaxy and he preached weak minded ideals like kindness and forgiveness?!

"Kindness and forgiveness." Palpatine stood from his throne, his voice eerily calm in contrast to the sheer anger and rage he was feeling inside of him. "Such foolish ideals have no place in the Sith Order."

"Well, maybe the Sith Order could change for the better." The boy replied innocently, unknowingly angering the Sith Lord even further. "Look at all this suffering and fear that exists in the galaxy. Look at how many people are so afraid. What does all this fear and hatred get you?"

"The only thing that matters, you foolish child." Perhaps insulting the being in front of him was a mistake, but the rage of the Dark Side would not be ignored. "It gives me POWER!"

Forks of lightning lashed out from Palpatine's hands as they lanced towards the child floating in the room. In his mind's eye, Darth Sidious expected to see the boy start writhing in pain as the power of the Dark Side overwhelmed him and brought the weakling to heel.

That was not what happened at all. Instead, the boy ignored the lightning striking his body as he raised one hand, as the dark side energy found itself unwillingly channeled into the boy's palm with absolutely no ill effect. In his other hand, a glowing blue moon sticker appeared, as the boy regarded Palpatine with disappointment.

"You're just like Belos." The level of disappointed contempt was the last thing Sidious heard as the sticker flew towards his head.

...

"I mean, he is just like Belos, right?" The Collector asked the silent residents of the Owl House. "I wanted to get your guys' opinion to be sure."

"Kid, from the way you described him, I think you might have actually found someone worse than Belos." Eda took a swig from her apple blood bottle.

"Regardless, I think you did the right thing, Collector." Luz got off the couch and knelt next to the young star child, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You tried to solve things peacefully, give them a chance, but when they refused to listen to reason, you stopped them from hurting everyone else."

"Though quick question, what happens to the rest of this Galactic Empire?" King pointed out. "We remember how much effort it took to rebuild the Isles, so will a galaxy sized version be any easier?"

"Oh man." The Collector groaned in realization as he sighed. "I'm gonna have to go back there and keep an eye on things aren't I?"

"Afraid so, buddy." King patted his buddy on the arm. "One of the drawbacks of being responsible."

"Guess I'll head back there right away." The Collector replied, before snapping his fingers. "Oh, do you think you could hold onto this for me?" A small grey sphere the size of a marble appeared in the air, and King grabbed it, noticing a strange concave dish on one hemisphere of it.

"What is it?"

"I don't know, it was some kind of metal planet they were building."

...

At the Death Star's location, the Collector floated in space some distance away. Humming to himself, his relative perspective of the station making it look no larger than a marble, the Collector simply held his index finger and thumb between the station and simply plucked it out of the sky.

...

"I saw it on the way back." He shrugged. "No idea what it does, but I figured it would be something they shouldn't have."

"Probably for the best." Eda nodded as she put a comforting hand on the Collector's shoulder. "Anyway, good luck on your journey kid. Something tells me you're going to need it."

Notes:

So yeah, the Collector just solved the entire plot of Star Wars pretty much by accident. As I said, don't expect any more chapters from this story any time soon, as it was just a plot bunny for a one-shot that I felt the need to get out of my head.

With all that said, I hope everyone enjoyed this story and reviews are always welcome.