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He stayed later than he usually does; after the uranium mission Jake decided to start therapy. (more or less Cyclone made him, along with the rest of the daggers.)
Jake had gotten home ten minutes ago. He parked his truck in the driveway —it’s still running so he could eventually leave for the night with the intention of coming to get his stuff in the morning— got out and walked through the door. Immediately Roo-Bradley comes to the door to greet him; instinctively moving to kiss Jake on the lips. Instead he swerved his head slight so Bradley catches the corner of his mouth instead.
Bradley backs up slightly, shocked.
“Babe wha-“ Jake cuts him off.
“We should break up.” He can hear the other man inhale sharply.
Still, Jake refuses to look at him, knowing if he does, he’ll never go through with this.
“Why?” Bradley’s voice breaks at the end.
Silence consumes the two for a moment.
“Why Seresin?”
Seresin, he notices, not Jake. ‘Good’ he thinks. ‘Make this easier.’
“Because we don’t work Bradley.” Jake hears him scoff.
“Bullshit. That’s bullshit and you know it.”
The shakiness in Bradley’s voice is gone, instead it’s replaced a firm and hardened tone; one Jake is all too familiar with.
“You do not get to do this again. I won’t let you.”
‘Now that’s not fair.’ Jake thinks. And goddammit for the first time in five minutes, Jake almost turns around. He knows the hold Rooster has on him, and he knows the other aviator knows it too. So why is it taking him so long to turn around?
“I’m going to give you two choices. And you better make your decision quick.” His voice is wobbly again and it absolutely breaks Jakes heart.
“Either tell me to leave and I’ll go. I’ll go and you’ll never see me again.” Jake inhales sharply as those words are said. “Or tell me to stay and I will.”
‘That’s the problem’ Is what runs through Jakes head. Bradley alone is the reason he gets out of bed, the reason he’s able to come home, Bradley is the reason Jake exists, and “Hangman” is back seating just waiting to take control of the situation.”
“Jake.” Bradley’s voice snaps him back to the present. “Tell me to go and I’m gone, or tell me to stay and I will.” This time it’s more firm; shaky still but firm.
He sighs in hopes to stop the tears from spilling over.
“We’re not good for each other darlin’.” He doesn’t mean for the nickname to fall passed his lips.
With each passing moment, each man’s heart continues to break, if that’s even possible at this point.
He hears Bradley take a deep breath and take the four steps towards him that Jake took to get away.
“Don’t make me turn you around myself Jake.” He says. And his posture falters and breaks and Jake is deflated.
“Please baby.”
He breaks then and he faces Bradley and Jake almost wished he hadn’t. Heartbreak the more prominent emotion taking over his features.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The minute Jake swerves his head, Bradley knew something was wrong. Then he heard those four words.
“We should break up.” He inhales sharply.
His head is reeling, he wants to run, he wants to get into that bronco and get the hell out of here. But he doesn’t, instead he stands there looking at his boyfriends back.
Can he even still call him that? Yes he decides, he’s not letting Jake go that easily, not again.
“Why?” Bradley hates the way his voice breaks. He also hates the silence Jake keeps leaving them in.
“Why Seresin?” He can see Jake bristle, he’s getting under his skin.
The reason Ja-Hangman gives is just straight up bullshit.
“Bullshit!” His voice raises slightly. “That’s bullshit and you know it.” Again Bradley takes a deep breath and he knows he shouldn’t but he says it anyway.
“You don’t get to do this again, I won’t let you.”
He sees the other man twitch slightly but just as quickly as Rooster saw it, Hangman was stone, still unmoving.
The hold he has on Jake is unbreakable, and they both know it. It’s starting to piss rooster off, that the other man hasn’t moved nor said anything other than those two fucking sentences.
‘Maybe’ Bradley thinks. “Maybe Hangman’s right. We don’t work.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Instead of telling him to leave Bradley tries one last time in hopes what they have isn’t going to end.
“Tell me to go Jake and I’ll walk away forever, you’ll never see me again. But pull me in and tell me to stay and I’ll never leave.”
Jakes back is still facing Bradley; he wants nothing more than to turn and hold the other man in his arms. Of course he wants Bradley to stay, but with the risks they have and the job they’re in he can’t.
Instead he sighs and says “We’re not good for each other darlin’.” That’s a lie and both men know it. And that fuckin nickname Bradley thinks. That name alone has an iron grip on his heart, it’d make his heart swoop and butterflies erupt. But now that feeling is replaced with a nasty taste in Bradley’s mouth and a bitter feeling in his heart.
That stupid name that still sounds good with Jakes southern drawl, even as he’s trying to break up with him. He can’t let Jake go so easily, not when they’re this close, not when they’re in too deep.
Taking a deep breath Bradley walks up behind Jake.
“Don’t make me turn you around myself Jake.” He could see the other pilots posture, the one the navy engrained in their heads, falter.
“I need to see your face when I tell you this.” Bradley waits a minute, two minutes, finally three minutes pass and he speaks up again.
“Please baby.” Barley above a whisper but Bradley knows Jake heard it; if his shoulders sagging was anything to go off of.
Eventually Jake finally sees Bradley’s face for the first time since he’s gotten home ten minutes ago.
His eyes soften seeing the hurt on Bradley’s face, but he’s stubborn and doesn’t meet the others eyes.
Bradley reached up to gently grab Jakes face, holding it gently. And if Jake had leaned into the man’s hand, well that’s between them.
“I love you, I am irreversibly in love with you Jake Seresin. In all ways that you are, the man you were, are, and will be. I love you.” Bradley paused to Jake fully grasp his words. Soon after he continues.
“You are the sole reason I land my plane right back here every damn time I come back.” He looks deep into Jakes eyes. “Mission or patrol I land every day for you. I don’t know why you want to break-“ Jake cut him off.
“Because that’s the fucking problem Rooster.” Rooster not Bradley, Jake rarely uses his call sign unless on base or in the air.
Jake knows he’s desperate right now. Desperate to push the pilot beyond arms reach.
“Every time you’re in the sky without me.” His voice breaks at the end. He takes a moment to compose himself before continuing.
“Every time you’re up there without me, my mind goes back to that stupid uranium mission, all the what ifs running through my head, especially if I hadn’t-“ His words get caught on a sob escaping his throat.
And right then Bradley realized, Jake wasn’t breaking up with him because he fell out of love. Instead Jake would rather lose Bradley this way than to lose him in the sky.
Bradley didn’t hesitate to wrap Jake in his arms: the other pilot reacting immediately and wrapping his own arms tightly around Brads waist.
“I can’t lose you Roo. I refuse to, especially in the sky.” He tightens his hold Jake.
“As long as you’re my wingman, we have nothing to worry about.”
“You’ll be my wingman in turn?” Jake mutters softly.
In that moment Bradley himself came to realize he too felt the same fear Jake was right now. His mind won’t ease as is when he’s not with Jake(deployment or not) in the sky.
“I'd follow you into fire every day as long as you land that plane with me in the end Seresin.”
Jake let’s go first and moved towards the door. Before he can make it though, Bradley catches his hand.
“After all that you’re still gonna fucking leave?” He laughs slightly and continues when he sees Bradley’s confused face.
“My truck is still runnin baby, I gotta go shut it off.”
“Why is it still on?” Jake sighs for what seems like the millionth time that night.
“I thought I was going to have to leave and come back in the morning to get my shit but with your stubborn ass I should’ve shut it off.”
“Yeah you should’ve. Alright go shut it off and come back. We’re going to bed.”
“Yessir Lieutenant.” Both men throw their heads back and laugh.
Then and there both men knew they’re not leaving each other anytime soon; not on the ground and definitely not in the sky.