Work Text:
Click.
Click.
Click click click click click
Phoenix let out a groan of frustration. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t trust his office locks. It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t think properly if he was near strangers. It wasn’t fair that his heart rate would spike whenever Maya Fey had left his sight in a public place.
Despite all of that, he kept on living. He kept on adapting. He was surviving, and the Fey girls were both fine under his care. It didn’t matter that he had rarely slept. It didn’t matter that he began clenching his teeth at the sound of a police radio. It didn’t matter that he had to check his locks and windows constantly. It didn’t even matter that he would panic and try to call Maya whenever she had taken too long to grab something or had been away from the office and his line of sight for too long.
It might not have been a great way to cope, but it made him feel safe for about five minutes. After that, the anxiety and constant flow of thoughts would be back, leading to a repeat of checking locks and windows before looking around to see where Maya was. His actions weren’t healthy, but hey, at least he was coping, right?
“Nick…?” Maya called out softly from the couch. She watched him fidget with the window lock mechanism for a few minutes. He didn’t deem it good enough just locking it once. He had to try over and over again.
“Yes Maya, I’ll sit back down. Why don’t you start the episode, okay?” the man replied, still focusing on the window.
“Well, we are supposed to all watch it together. We can’t really do that if you aren’t paying attention,” she wanted to pry Phoenix’s hands off the lock. Unfortunately, he probably wouldn’t have budged.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
“Yeah, okay,” Phoenix sighed in defeat, sitting down next to Maya. He didn’t have his suit jacket on, only his button-down and suit pants. His sleeves were rolled up.
“Finally. Thank you. Now, let's begin!” she clapped her hands together. Maya was wearing her usual outfit, except her hair wasn’t done like she usually had it. Instead, it was tied back in a ponytail.
Both of them sat there, watching Pink Princess: Fight Against the Pirate Lords. Neither of them was up to their usual antics or commentary on the movie. Usually, Phoenix would give some sort of sarcastic comment about how pirates couldn’t have existed in that era. Instead, he sat silent and with his eyes unfocused. Maya didn’t know how to call him out on it. She didn’t know if she should. What would she say?
Hey Nick, You seem to enjoy checking out locks. I think you should check out a place to go to therapy instead!
Nick, snap out of it! You’ve been acting strange since I got kidnapped. It must've been scary to deal with that, but could you maybe not call me every time I leave the building for more than 10 minutes?
Yo, Nick! How about you treat me to burgers and we talk about your fear of me being kidnapped again?
No matter how Maya wanted to approach it, it wouldn’t have been easy. She herself wasn’t doing too well with the events of the kidnapping. It hurt to lose her fingernails. It hurt as they were ripped off. Her throat hurt as she screamed it raw, repeating Phoenix’s name and pleas for help over and over and over until she could only cry and shout incoherently.
She never knew how Phoenix replied. Her screams deafened the noise coming from the transceiver. If only she could hear Phoenix.
“I’m here, Maya I promise I’ll save you. I’m here Maya. I’m so sorry. Please hang in there. I need to get you back. Please, Maya. Please hang in there. I know it hurts. I can’t imagine your pain. I’m so sorry, Maya,” Phoenix cried, his left hand clutching the transceiver to his chest and his right hand holding the ground as he hunched over, shaking and close to falling over. Edgeworth stood over him, unsure what words he could even say to help the man on the floor.
Maya didn’t hear what happened from Phoenix, she heard it from Edgeworth. The day after she was found, Phoenix had slept through the entire day. Edgeworth told Maya about how he hadn’t slept for the entire case. He told her about how he would cry and try to give his steadiest voice to give comforting words to Maya, even though he likely knew she couldn’t hear him. Edgeworth explained that the two of them would be needing some serious counseling and that if Maya would like, he might be able to pull a few strings and get her in on his insurance plan under special circumstances.
Phoenix never talked about it. He never admitted he wasn’t fine. He never mentioned that her torture was broadcasted to him. He didn’t want to talk about it. When he thinks about it, he ends up getting nauseous and clammy.
“Nick! Are you listening to me?” Maya asked, frustrated. She was crossing her arms. Phoenix zoned back in, realizing that the TV was paused. The end credits were playing.
“Oh, hm? My bad, Maya. I guess I just zoned out,” Phoenix gave a small laugh, yet Maya’s frown just deepened.
“Well, I said that I’m going to go walk to the convenience store. We are low on snacks. Plus, I would like to take Pearl and me to the local Mcdonald’s. They have a new line of Steel Samurai happy meal toys out.”
Phoenix bit his lip nervously. He knew it would be wrong for him to stop her. He nodded his head, despite his mind screaming at him to go with her.
“Oh! Also, Edgeworth should be coming over soon. He said he had something to talk to you about,” now it was Maya’s turn to look nervous and apologetic.
“Sure, no problem,” he replied, unsure why she felt uneasy about Edgeworth as they had met plenty of times.
“Alright, I’ll be on my way, Pearl, let's get going!” Maya said, returning back to her usual, bubbly self.
“I’m coming, Mystic Maya!” Pearl yelled, running to meet Maya at the door. The two exited together.
Phoenix took a few deep breaths after they had left. He shakily got up and walked to the door, opening it to check if the two were out in the halls still. They weren’t, but Edgeworth was standing outside the law office.
Phoenix quickly moved to shut the door on him, but unfortunately, Edgeworth had wedged his foot between the door and the frame.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, opening the door again to see the prosecutor crossing his arms.
“Miss Fey informed you that I would be stopping by, did she not?” Edgeworth asked, slightly annoyed.
“Oh. Yeah, I guess she did do that a few minutes ago. Sorry about that.” Phoenix gave a grin. Edgeworth knew that it wasn’t even close to being sincere.
“Yes, well, can I come in?” Edgeworth asked. Phoenix nodded and stepped aside. Once Edgeworth was in, he closed the door and began messing with the lock again. “Wright, what are you doing?”
“Just give me a minute, okay?” Phoenix replied, not answering the question. Miles stood aside and watched. It hurt to watch the man move away from the lock, only to sigh and take two steps back and try again.
“Wright, why are you doing this?” he tried again, watching the man get agitated.
“Just leave it alone, alright? It’s not a big deal,” Phoenix replied, locking the door again and sighing. He took his hand off the door handle, hovering his hands over it for a few seconds before sighing and walking over to the couch.
Miles sat down next to him, his gaze softening. “Did Miss Fey tell you where she was going?”
Phoenix wondered why the man would ask. “Yeah, she said she was going to grab some snacks and take Pearl to McDonald’s. Why do you ask?”
Miles looked away, struggling to make eye contact. “She is going somewhere yes, but it’s not McDonald’s. She’s going to be going away for a few days,” Phoenix’s eyes were full of panic.
“Where is she going? I need to go find her, oh god,”
“Wright, stop panicking. Maya Fey is fine. She’s on her way home to Kura’in Village with Pearl. They had some family and village matters to attend to. She wanted me to tell you this. I’m also not allowed to let you follow her,” Miles looked at Phoenix, anywhere but his eyes. He knew this was hurting the other man, but it would in the end be for a good reason.
Phoenix sighed and put his hands on his head, slouching. Of course, why wouldn’t she be sick of his antics? It was all Phoenix’s fault. All his fault that she wanted to leave. It was all his fault that she would be kidnapped with Pearl. They might not even make it to the station. Is that what he wanted?
He shook his head, trying not to think about things like that.
“I’m here to make sure you’ll be alright. You’re going through a rough time right now. I can’t exactly just sit back, can I?” Miles said softly.
“I’m fine, it’s not like I can do anything, can I? I can deal with this on my own,” Phoenix said, not exactly appreciating the help.
“You say you’re fine, but Wright, you must know that normal and fine people don’t continuously check their locks. Fine people don’t go days without sleeping. People who aren’t paranoid don’t usually call their friends multiple times throughout the day just to know their whereabouts and ask if they are okay.”
Edgeworth was right, even though it hurt Phoenix to admit it. “I never told you about any of those, how did you find out?” he argued.
“Maya told me. She’s really worried about you. She just doesn’t know how to show it. That’s why she told me to talk to you,” he explained, his voice trying to sound comforting and failing.
“Good to know she cares,” Phoenix grumbled.
“Of course she does. Now, we are going to go back to your apartment. It’s almost evening. I know you aren’t taking cases now, so you can just lock up.” Miles stood up, and Phoenix did the same, not even bothering to put up a fight.
Phoenix grabbed his backpack and his keys. The two walked outside of the office, with Phoenix messing with his keys and the lock once more.
The two had been standing outside the office for about five minutes. Phoenix kept messing with the lock until he deemed it safe enough to leave the office.
Both of them stepped into Edgeworth’s car, with Phoenix sitting in the passenger seat. Neither of them made an effort to talk. Neither of them knew what to say.
The car ride was short, but soon they were at Phoenix’s apartment, both walking up the stairs together.
Once they reached the floor and apartment number, Phoenix opened the door, letting the two in, and then began fiddling with the lock.
“Why do you do that, Wright? Why are you constantly locking and unlocking doors?” Miles asked, watching the man struggle. He got no response as he continued watching the man mess with the lock to his front door, both the door handle lock and the locks above it. He decided to step forward, getting a closer look at the man. “Wright?”
“Don’t. Miles, please don’t. Please, just let me do this. It helps,” Phoenix begged the man, not even looking at him as he spoke. He only cared about the locks.
“Sorry, but this doesn’t help anything. It’s not like the lock will get stronger or work better with you toying with it,” Miles said, trying his best to get the man to stop. He stepped closer, standing next to the man as he watched him tremble.
Click. Click. Click.
Sigh. Phoenix walked away. He turned around and walked right back.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
“Sorry about this, Phoenix,” Edgeworth apologized softly.
“What are you even apologizing for? Hey-”
Edgeworth had hugged him from behind, his arms wrapping around the other man’s chest and under his arms. He then picked the defense attorney up.
“What the fuck? Put me down right now! Put me back!” he cried out, struggling while trying to escape the other man’s hold on him. He tried kicking, yet it didn’t work. Miles Edgeworth didn’t even seem to be struggling to carry him.
Edgeworth began walking towards the living room. He then put Phoenix down before grabbing at his shoulders and forcing him to sit down on the couch.
Phoenix glared at the man in red standing in front of him.
“I had to do something. You weren’t stopping. It’s not healthy to do that,” Miles confessed.
“It’s fine. Trust me, I’m alright,” Phoenix argued stubbornly.
“I’ve already established why you aren’t earlier. Do you need me to repeat myself? Please, just talk to me about what happened. If you continue the way you are, it’s only going to get worse and more severe,” Miles pleaded.
Phoenix looked him in the eyes, ready to argue. When he saw the man’s eyes were glossy and his face looked sad, he lost all the fight in him.
“I’ll talk about it. Just, not now. I’ll order pizza. You’re welcome to stay the night, sleep on my bed if you want,” the man sighed, pulling out his phone and looking through his contacts for the local pizza place.
“You can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor. It’s no big deal. Your couch gives me back pain. Really, you should replace that thing,” Miles said.
“What that’s nonsense! Why don’t we both sleep on the bed? It’ll be better for both of us, just as long as you don’t hog the blankets,” Phoenix suggested.
“Alright, alright. Just as long as you aren’t into cuddling in your sleep,” Miles surrendered. He supposed nothing bad could come out of sharing a bed.
Phoenix pressed the dial button on his phone, calling the pizza place. “Hello? Yeah, hi. I’d like to order one cheese pizza. Toppings? Nah, but could half of the pizza have white sauce? The other half can have the regular red one. Perfect. You’re going to send the pizza to Pinecone Apartments on Leek Drive. The apartment number is 305. Perfect. Thank you, bye.”
“You got half the pizza with white sauce?” Miles questioned, surprised.
“Yeah. You like it, don’t you?”
Miles felt happy. The man had remembered.
Miles heard the mattress creak, but he didn’t pay much attention at first. He assumed Phoenix would have used the bathroom or something.
When he didn’t return to bed after 20 minutes, Miles began getting suspicious. He woke up, turning on the lights in the room and grimacing.
“Phoenix?” he called out, searching the house. He didn’t get a response. Miles passed by the bathroom, seeing it was empty with the lights off. He went into the living room, not seeing anyone. He walked into the kitchen, seeing a figure on the floor by the sink. The faucet was running. “Phoenix?”
The man just shook his head, not saying anything. He whimpered quietly, covering his ears.
“Can I turn off the sink?” Miles asked carefully. He was met with the other man furiously shaking his head no.
The man on the floor was crying, his right hand over his right ear and his left hand above his left ear, pressing against his temple.
Miles crouched down on the floor, looking at the man and his shaking frame.
“Maya Fey, if you are wondering, is okay. She’s made it to Kura’in. Currently, she’s asleep in bed,” Miles reassured, but the other man didn’t seem to believe him.
Phoenix had tears silently streaming down his face. He looked as if he was trying to keep quiet, like he was barely breathing at all. The breaths he took were quick and sounded choked.
Miles sat on his knees next to the other man. He lightly grabbed Phoenix’s left wrist, feeling the arm go somewhat limp in his grasp as he brought the arm down.
“It’s alright Phoenix. Your thoughts are just that. It’s not real,” he moved his hand from the wrist into the other man’s hand. He gripped firmly, trying to give the other man something to hold on to, something to feel. Phoenix’s fingers moved slightly, trying to curl inwards to hold Miles’s hand.
“She’s- no, I can’t get it out of my head. I know it’s not happening, but it’s like I can just hear it. The pliers, god he dropped them on the floor. It hurts seeing her without fingernails. I can hear the call in my head. M’sorry. It’s stupid,” Phoenix slowly spoke, gasping between words. His voice was shaky and quiet.
“No, no. It’s not stupid. This reaction is typical of someone who had gone through something traumatic. I’ve had my fair share of it too. Focus on me okay? I’m holding your hand. Do you want to talk? Do you do anything in particular to calm down?” Miles asked, squeezing the other man’s hand.
“I just hate it. I never feel like she’s safe enough. She’s like, like, she’s like family to me. I can’t lose her. Mia, oh god, she must be so disappointed. She must regret letting her near me. It’s my fault they targeted her,” he choked out, squeezing Mile’s hand back.
“She’s more than safe enough with you. I know she’s like your younger sister. Miss Mia Fey would not be disappointed, why should she? It wasn’t your fault they targeted her. You would’ve helped out if it was any person. It just hurts more since she’s family. It’s not your fault, Phoenix.”
Phoenix didn’t respond. Miles let go of Phoenix’s hand, putting his arm around the other man’s shoulder. He then used his other hand to reach over and grab Phoenix’s left hand.
Miles held the other man as he gasped out, trying to take deep breaths. He murmured small praises into the other man’s ear. “You’re doing a good job. Keep breathing like that.”
Phoenix did, still gripping onto Mile’s hand. “I was so scared,” he said shakily, then continued his breathing,
“I know. You won’t be better automatically, but I promise that with some help you might be okay. I think you might need some sort of therapy and a visit to the psychiatrist. I’ll be with you through this okay? Don’t assume you’re alone.”
They sat like that on the floor for a while, until Phoenix let his right hand which was covering his right ear drop to the floor. He let out a sigh. “You can turn the sink off now. I had originally turned it on for distraction. I could basically hear my thoughts shouting.”
Miles removed his arm from Phoenix and separated their hands. He stood up and turned off the faucet. Then, he reached his arm out for Phoenix to grab and helped him off the ground.
“I’m gonna go take a shower, okay?” Phoenix said.
“Sure. I think I’ll fall back asleep.” Miles replied.
“Um, Miles?” Phoenix looked away from the man. “Would you mind staying with me until Maya comes back? If it’s too much to ask, let me know.”
Miles Edgeworth smiled. “Of course I will, Phoenix.”
Recovering and getting better would take a long time. At least Miles would be there for him, just as Phoenix had been there for Miles.