Work Text:
Even for heroes used to odd things, no one could have predicted how this day would go.
It had started out as a normal, too quiet day as the eight remaining heroes woke up slowly without the enticing reward of Wild’s cooking to spur them out of their bedrolls and into the land of the living. Legend had been on third watch, so he had gotten to witness the glorious show of Mornings Without Wild the others put on. Time and Twilight had woken up first, shuffling slowly to the campfire in hopes of making coffee without the usual burns. Then came Four, Hyrule, and Warriors, shambling like gibdos as they packed up their stuff and grimaced at the horrendous sludge Time had called “breakfast”.
If Legend had conveniently “eaten while on watch”, no one could really blame him for not partaking, right?
Finally, as wakefulness crept into the other heroes, they had drawn straws as to who would wake the mound of blankets known as Sky and Wind Cuddling, with Four drawing the short straw and resultant black eye. With a horrible breakfast, fresh burns on the Ranch Duo, a purpling eye on Four and the sour mood from the cuddlers infecting the rest, the day started with 7 heroes in moods filthy enough to rival Legend’s usual front.
So, of course whatever god or demon was in charge of their world hopping had decided to add to their misery by teleporting them through time and space the second they had secured their packs, dumping them in broad sunlight and the middle of a group of monsters. Legend hacked ferociously at one of Wild’s moblins, taking a moment as it crumbled to dust to scan the new battlefield for one of his brothers needing aid.
Warriors was browbeating one of Wild’s bokoblins into submission.
Hyrule was venting his feelings by smashing one of Wild’s blue boko’s into the ground.
Time was tag-teaming with Twilight, attacking one of Wild’s silver moblins.
Sky, Wind and Four were making up for the morning by fending off a horde of Wild’s lizalfos.
Legend noticed a suspiciously Wild-shaped pattern.
The battle ended quickly, with Hyrule fussing over everyone’s scrapes and Four finally allowing a potion to clear up his eye. Legend was mostly unhurt, so he took the time to scout out the area, trying to place the Hyrule (and possibly avoid the prying eyes of the other Hyrule). Sky had tried to claim this Hyrule as his, citing the floating islands in the sky, but was quickly shot down by the noticeable lack of Crimson and the ruins they stood in.
Everyone knew exactly whose Hyrule had the most ruins, but no one dared to speak it in fear that they’d somehow break the spell keeping them here.
Legend knew just as well whose Hyrule he wanted it to be. He just needed evidence.
He continued searching.
—------------------------------
Wild–No, Link now–had been having a lovely day, right before he slipped.
He’d been running low on arrows after bullying bokos with muddlebuds, so he’d decided after a leisurely breakfast—that had produced far more leftovers than he was used to—to run a circuit of the Great Sky Island and collect horns, charges, and plenty of arrows for his next round of pin-the-muddlebud-on-the-boss-boko. He’d made it across the lake to In-isa Shrine already, making excellent time considering he was only one (of nine) persons. Link had stopped for lunch at the shrine, amusing himself as his food simmered by walking along the edge of the island, toeing the knife-edge of standing and falling.
And then he’d slipped off the knife edge. And the literal edge.
And was now plummeting at terminal velocity towards the ground below.
Well, Link thought to himself, wind whipping through his hair. Oops.
Frankly speaking, Link was pretty okay with this. His food still had plenty of time to simmer, he’d wanted to stop and get some zonaite before he made it to the mining cave, and the Forest of Time Chasm was an easy plummet from his current location. Link quickly made his decision and went to angle himself towards the Outpost Ruins, cursing himself for being nostalgic earlier and wearing his Archaic set instead of his usual Glide set.
Oh well, at least no one will see him looking like he lost a fight with his bedsheets on the way down.
—---------------------------------
Legend had not found evidence.
Instead, Legend had found a hole.
A very ominous-looking, red-malice-oozing, suspiciously deep hole.
Time had been collecting all the heroes up, and upon finding Legend, had also found the hole.
At Time’s call, the other heroes had pelted down the path and found the hole.
And that brought them to their current point. Staring suspiciously at the hole.
The very ominous, evil, deep hole and the shiny bits of malice around its edge.
Legend broke the silence.
“So, 50 rupees says we’re supposed to go in the hole.”
The others stared disbelievingly. Warriors sighed.
“For the sake of all of us, let’s hope not.”
Four crouched down at the edge of the hole, eyes flashing violet. “How deep do you think it goes? I can’t see the bottom from here.”
“I’m sure I don’t know, but I would like for none of us to find out.” Time lectured. “That means you, Wind, Sky. I know you have gliding skills but we don’t know how long it would take for you to get to the bottom or if you’d even be able to come back up”
Legend shot a look towards the pair named. Sure enough, Wind was sulkily putting away his Deku leaf as Sky was not-so-subtly shifting his sailcloth back into its usual place.
“Wild would’ve found out…” Wind muttered. Sky patted him comfortingly on the shoulder.
An uncomfortable silence descended on the group, only broken when Twilight flicked an ear.
“Do you guys hear that?” He asked.
Legend listened, but all he could hear was the sound of the wind, the soft clanking of his brothers’ equipment, the whine of an insect growing steadily louder…
Wait.
That wasn’t an insect.
—----------------------------
So maybe Link had miscalculated slightly.
It happened on occasion.
He’d picked up an Igneo Pebblit with his bare hands and got burned, he’d screwed up jumps in low-grav and crashed into walls, he’d even gotten a faceful of explosion when trying to cook a bomb flower.
But the difference between those moments and his current predicament was that he had been alone.
No one had seen him make those errors in judgment, so in theory, they’d never really happened.
This, however, had an audience.
Link was currently falling at terminal velocity towards a gloom-spewing chasm, wearing ratty old blankets, with a group of 8 people about to watch the Hero of the Wild make an absolute fool of himself.
Zelda would never let him live this down.
Link was running out of options fast, and unfortunately, thinking in a panic had never been his strong suit outside a fight.
So, naturally, he did absolutely nothing to save his dignity.
His Archaic Legwear seemed to get the message of “don’t save his dignity”, and had decided all on their own to flip upwards as the hero fell downwards. Exposing poor Link’s underpants.
Link, for his part, took this new development in stride.
If “taking this new development in stride” meant breaking his freefall posture to grab and rip his skirt back down and beginning to shriek higher than Zelda seeing a rat.
His dignity ruined, his underwear in full view, and the chasm getting closer and closer, Link had only one thought left in his mind.
And it was such a nice day…
—-----------------------
The whine didn’t come from an insect, nor was it a whine at all. As Legend listened closer, he heard it pitch and bob like a high-pitched shriek, and it quickly grew loud enough for the less hearing-sensitive members of the Chain to pick up on too. Everyone began to panic as they looked around frantically for the person in distress, until a gasped “Look! Up there!” from Hyrule drew everyone’s attention towards the rapidly growing blot in the sky.
The rapidly growing, oddly familiar-sounding blot in the sky.
The rapidly growing, Wild-shaped blot in the sky.
“WILD?!” The chain yelled in unison, hardly daring to believe their eyes as their missing brother, crimson in the face, arms and legs akimbo as he fought to keep a bedsheet covering his legs fell right past them into the hole.
Fell right past them.
Into the HOLE.
Everyone made an aborted motion to lunge in after their brother, but apparently they had completed their “see Wild” quota as the world twisted and turned, dumping the chain into the woods outside Lon Lon Ranch. Evidently, there was a reason why portals were spaced at least a day apart, as everyone landed on the dirt and promptly emptied their stomachs of everything they had eaten since the day they were born.
As Legend kneeled there, spitting out the rest of his and Ravio’s 2-year-old wedding cake, he had the strongest possible urge to go find Hylia and punch her in the face for taking Wild from them a second time.
The second strongest urge was to find Wild and never let him live that bedsheet down.
—----------------------------------
Link was having the worst day of his life.
He was sitting down in the Depths, venting his fury on an innocent zonaite deposit, while his skull rattled with ideas for literally any possible way for him to have done that better.
He could have used his Pad to change his outfit.
He could have used his Pad to Teleport.
He could have covered his face so that the travelers didn’t immediately recognize him as Wild–
Wait.
They recognized him as Wild.
Nobody recognized him as Wild.
Nobody except his brothers.
...Shit.
Wild instantly pulled out his Pad, teleporting to Kamizun Shrine and running to the edge of the chasm to find—
Nothing.
There was no one there.
Had he mistaken a random group for his brothers?
Had it been a Yiga scheme they’d abandoned after half an hour?
Had Wild imagined it?
Dejected, Link teleported back to his lunch up on the Great Sky Island.
It had cooked down to perfection, but Link couldn’t stand to look at it.
Not when there was enough for nine people.
—------------------------
Bonus! Because I adore these fools and I like happy Wild more than sad Wild.
Link missed the Chasm.
Somehow, despite being halfway down the hole, Link had missed the Chasm and had landed in the forest across the way.
Also somehow, despite not having touched his paraglider, he was lying spread eagle on his back without so much as a scrape to show for his terminal velocity landing.
Link didn’t know what to make of that. Or of the chorus of retching he heard from a clearing nearby.
Link didn’t know what to make of anything at the moment. All he knew was that the ground was soft, the world was spinning and he was quite content to just lie there until gravity decided to behave and he could reassemble the scrambled mess that was his brain.
Thankfully, it seemed the chorus he’d heard had no signs of stopping, so if they weren’t friendly he still had some time to get his thoughts in order.
Eventually, though, sense reasserted itself and Link slowly picked himself off the ground, swapping his clothes for something more respectable before picking his way through the bushes to discover 8 horking heroes and Lon Lon Ranch.
Huh.
Well, at least Link—No, Wild!--- had finished up his adventure the month prior, so he could have his cake and eat it too!
Wait. Cake.
Dessert.
Lunch.
HIS LUNCH!
Wild moaned in dismay and dropped to his knees beside his brothers, mourning his lost lunch back home in his era.
Good thing he’d kept leftovers for nine people.