Chapter Text
After seven months without seeing it, Kathryn took out her uniform from her wardrobe and stared at it. Carefully, she left it on her bed. An hurricane of memories and emotions ran through her mind as, inevitably, her brain gave her the image of the last time she wore it. Hesitantly, she reached down to caress its fabric. It was as smooth as it always had been.
Leaving it there, Kathryn went to her bathroom to get ready: she had an hour before her meeting began. She removed the towel on her head and let her hair cascade down her back, wet and already beginning to curl. She grabbed the dryer from the drawer under the sink and started to dry it, following the routine she had been following for those last years. When her hair was dry and straight, she began to put it up. It only took her a few minutes to style it in a perfect bun. Her next step was to put on some makeup. She opened the first drawer and put back the drier. In the second drawer she had her makeup case. After taking it out, she proceeded to open it and grab her overly-used sponge to apply some foundation before she took the brush and applied some rouge to her cheeks. Then, she put on the eyeliner and some light eye shadow to her eyelids and under the eyebrows. After that, she applied a coat of lipstick and a touch of lipgloss. The final step of her routine was to put on some mascara. She took a good look of herself in the mirror and, satisfied with the results, she tidied up the bathroom and returned to her room.
Carefully, she removed the hanger from the uniform and laid the clothes on the bed. She took out her robe and put on her socks before grabbing the jumpsuit from the bed and putting it on. She had both versions of the uniform but she always liked better the jumpsuit over the skant. Then, Kathryn took her boots from the closet and sat on the bed to put them on. When she was finished, she went to her nightstand and opened its third drawer. In the back of it, there were two tiny black boxes that she grabbed and, then, left them on the table. Gently, she opened the first one and stared at the two gold pips that rested inside. After looking at them for a couple of minutes, she gathered the courage she needed to take them out and put them carefully on below the collar on the right side. To complete the work, she opened the second box, grabbed her combadge and attached it above her left breast.
After looking at herself in the mirror for one last time, she left her room and walked downstairs. She grabbed her coat, got out of the house and walked to the nearest transport station.
The Night Owl was crowded for an ordinary afternoon. It seemed that almost everybody working at Starfleet decided to go there and have something to eat or drink. Will had enough luck to arrive when it still had empty tables. He'd been there for at least an hour, enjoying some down time while reading an old book, when he casually lifted his eyes and saw someone who he didn't expected to see. She was leaning on the counter, quietly talking to the waiter and asking for her favorite beverage. He quickly stood up and called her name. She turned around to search for who had called her and a big smile appeared on her face when he saw him. Will was overjoyed. He indicated her to join him and sat down to wait for her. When she got there, he got up again, grabbed her mug to leave it on the table, and engulfed her in a tight crushing embrace. They stood there, together, for a couple of minutes before Will kissed her cheek and let her go.
"Kitty-Kat, you look fantastic." He said, overjoyed at having found her there.
"As fantastic as one can look in one of this horrendous uniforms." She replied, smiling. "You look great too, Big Guy."
They sat down, one in front of the other. Kathryn sipped her drink and Will used the opportunity to really look at her. She appeared to be relaxed, even happy. It was a big contrast to the her depressed state just a month before. She caught him staring at grinned.
"How are you doing?" Will asked.
"I'm fine. Not totally recovered but on the road of getting better. And you? What are you doing at Headquarters?"
"There's a six months Command training program beginning in two weeks. I applied and they accepted me." He, then, pointed to her uniform. "Are you back at work?"
"Not yet. I had a meeting with Admiral Paris early today to talk about it. I have a surprise for you."
"Really?" He asked, excited. "What is it?"
"I'm switching to Command and ... I'll be taking the same course. We're gonna be classmates again."
"It's wonderful, Kitty-Kat! With your stubbornness and temper, you'll be a great addition to the Command branch."
Kathryn lifted herself from the chair to punch, hard, his arm.
"See?" Will said, rubbing the sore spot.
Kathryn tried to punch him again but, thanks to his quick reflexes, Will grabbed her wrist and stopped her. He laughed at her slightly irritated face and kissed the back of her hand. Defeated, Kathryn sat down again and stuck her tongue out.
"Very mature, Kitty-Kat."
She did it again and accompanied it with a light kick to his shin. Kathryn laughed out loud at his faked hurt face.
"Come on, big baby. Let's go! I'll make some dinner for the two of us and we'll talk. What do you think?"
"Lead the way."
They transported to Indiana and walked together to Kathryn's home. The house was empty: Gretchen had a dinner with her colleagues from the University and Phoebe was studying with a friend. They were both expected to return late so Will and Kathryn used the opportunity of a quiet house to have a light dinner and a long overdue conversation.
Sitting on the floor, barefoot, in front of the fire, they wrapped themselves in a big quilt. At first, they conversation was centered on their families and friends, putting the other up to date with the lives of those who were important in both their lives, avoiding intentionally the topic they knew they would end talking about. Kathryn asked about his parents and grandmother while Will was interested in Phoebe, Gretchen and Martha. After an hour of talking about trivial things, they knew that the time to speak about the elephant in the room had arrived.
Gently, Will put his arm around Kathryn's waist and brought her closer to him. Kathryn rested her head on his shoulder and sighed deeply. Neither wanted to begin. Finally, after a few minutes in silence, Kathryn decided to go first.
"I know you're worried but I'm alright, really."
"Are you sure? You seem better and I'm glad but ..." He stopped, hesitating.
"But ..."
"Aren't you going too fast? It's been a month. You decided to make a big change on your life and ..."
"Will." She interrupted. "It's not a decision I made overnight. I was considering it even before the accident, and I talked about it with my counselor before I made it. She told me that wanting to make huge changes in one's life was common during grief and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. She asked me if I was really sure I was doing it for myself, not to follow my father steps. At first, I thought she was right but when I really meditated about it, I realized that even if I love science, it wasn't satisfying my expectations. I need something more. Switching to command doesn't mean that I have to leave my passion for science."
"I just wanted to be sure."
"And I appreciate it, really. Except you and Admiral Paris, nobody knows about the decision. I'll tell them tomorrow."
"Do you think they will accept it?"
"I don't know but, sincerely, I don't really care. It's my life and it's time to begin doing what I really wanna do."
"I see your counseling sessions are going well."
"Yeah, they are, and it surprises me. I never thought I would be comfortable talking to an stranger about my feelings but Dr. Cooper is great. At first, I went twice a week but now I only go see her once a week, and it's really helping."
"I'm glad."
"And I have to thank you. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be going there."
"I wasn't the only one involved, Kitty-Kat. Your mother and sister were too. You just decided to listen to me."
"Yeah, I know. I apologized to them for everything and our relationship has grown stronger after all of this. I still have some fights with the idiot, though." She said, laughing.
"You'll always fight with your sister, Kitty-Kat. You both love it."
They shared a good laugh for a few minutes. When it subsided, Kathryn got up and walked to the kitchen to replicate some hot chocolate for them. She returned to the living room and handed the mugs to Will before resuming her previous position next to Will. They sipped their beverages and left them on the floor, in front of them. Kathryn grabbed his hand and caressed its back.
"She asked about you." She said, shyly.
"Who?"
"Dr. Cooper."
"Why?"
"Because in those firsts sessions I couldn't stop talking about you."
"Really?" Will asked, surprised, while a big idiot grin appeared on his face.
"You helped me mote than you'll ever know, Big Guy. I owe you."
"You don't owe me anything, Kath." He said, kissing the side of her head. "What did you tell her?" He asked, interested.
"She asked about our relationship so I explained it to her. She was surprised that we were still friends. Told me it was uncommon after being in a relationship. We didn't talk about it again until last week, just at the end of the session. Before I stood up to leave, she asked me if I was happy. How could I be happy after what happened? She changed her question. Were you happy before the accident? And I just stood there, astonished, without knowing what to say. Then, she told me to think about it."
"Were you?"
"I thought I was but, after really looking into it, I discovered that I was content with my life but happy? I don't think so."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure, Will. Something was missing. That's one of the reasons I decided to switch to Command but that something is still missing." She paused for a few seconds before she talked again. "Are you happy, Will?"
"I'm ok, content as you said. I also feel that something is missing in my life."
"Do you know what is it?"
"I think I do."
"Tell me, please."
"Kitty-Kat ..."
"Please. I wanna know if it's the same thing I've been missing too."
"Are you sure?" He asked, concerned.
"Since we decided to break up, more than a year and a half ago, we haven't had any serious relationships. You had one or two flings, I had a brief thing with Justin, but we haven't seriously dated anyone. Why is that?"
"We haven't found the right person, yet."
"And you know why?"
"Do you?" He asked.
"Yes, I do. They weren't you." She said, without hesitation.
"Kitty-Kat..."
"What?"
"I ... " Will began but didn't know how to continue.
"Let me ask you again. Do you know what is missing in your life?"
"Yes. You are. But..."
"No, no buts, please." She interrupted. "I miss you too. I was happy when we were together, happier than I've ever been. We broke up, we thought it was the right thing to do, but it's not working, for neither of us."
"Kathryn, there are buts. You're better but not totally recovered. You don't need this to stress you more."
"Don't patronize me, William. I know I still have a long road in front of me but it doesn't mean I don't know what I wanna do with my life, or with who I want to spend it. I still love you, I want to be with you."
"Kitty-Kat." He hesitated.
"It's alright, I understand. You don't want things to return as they were before. I'm sorry, I've just made an idiot of myself."
Before he could answer, she stood up and left the room. Will sat there, alone and startled. He lasted a few seconds there before he got a grip of himself and quickly stood up to run after her. He found Kathryn on her bedroom, laying down on her bed, silently crying with her face hidden on her pillow. His heart broke at the sight. Silently, he sat down next to her and gently stroked her hair. Kathryn tensed under his touch and lifted her head a bit so he could hear her.
"Leave me alone, please." She begged.
"I won't, Kathryn." He said, firmly. "You just assumed things without letting me explain."
"You made it perfectly clear." She said, her words muttered by the pillow covering her face.
"I didn't, and I'm sorry. So just hear me out, please, before you jump into conclusions again."
Kathryn didn't reply. Will began to talk but he couldn't do it without looking directly at her. So, gently, he made her sit on the bed and he knelt in front of her.
"Kitty-Kat, there's nothing I would want more than spending the rest of my life with you. I love you, I never stopped loving you. But I want to be sure that you're ready for this. Things can't be the way they were before; time went by and we aren't the same people we were a year and a half ago. We can start again, things will be different, but we can make it work. I only ask for you to really think about it, to be really sure that this is what you want. If your answer is yes, then, we'll work it out. I don't wanna hurt you." He finished, caressing her face with the back of his hand.
"I don't need to think about it. My answer is YES!" She said, smiling through the tears falling freely from her eyes.
"Can I kiss you, now?"
Kathryn answer was to get up and help Will do the same. They stared at each others eyes for a few seconds before they fell into a tight embrace. Then, slowly, they loosened it a bit so they could kiss. They lips met, shyly at first. Soon, their kiss deepened and their tongues began to play together. Before they knew it, they fell onto the bed.
"Are you sure?" Will asked, again.
"I want you." Kathryn answered.
Without any doubt on his mind, Will moved to put his body over Kathryn's and grabbed gently her head. Slowly, his mouth descended until it reached her expectant lips. In the middle of their kiss, Kathryn felt something tugging her shirt. Without thinking, she quickly complied and removed it. Then, she unbuttoned Will's shirt and helped him get rid of it. Taking advantage of his distraction, Kathryn sat up and pushed Will to lay down on the bed before she sat on his lap and attacked his neck. Her initial light kisses turned into a more powerful ones that ended leaving a trail of hickeys above his collarbone. She grinned, proudly, when Will looked at her with surprise written all over his face.
"You'll pay for that." He joked.
"Really? What are you gonna do?"
Will sat up, carefully, and pressed her hips to his, rubbing his still clothed groin to hers. They both moaned softly. Then, he took his turn of devouring her neck. As revenge, he left a large love bite on her neck, under her right ear, knowing that without a dermal regenerator she would need to wear something to hide it. She playfully slapped his chest and kissed him again. While their tongues danced together, Will reached behind her and unclasped her bra. It quickly got thrown away. He left her swollen lips to slowly descend to her breasts, leaving soft kisses along the way. He arrived at his destination and smiled. His hands abandoned the position on her hips and went to caress her nipples. He rolled them between his fingers until they were hard. Then, he closed his lips around her left one and sucked lightly. Kathryn moaned again, this time louder, while her hips bucked again against him and her back arched. His hands continued to massage her bosoms while his mouth alternated between their two peaks. After a few minutes, Kathryn decided that it was her turn again. She gently pushed him down and went to unbutton his tight jeans. Will raised his hips and she quickly got them off. With her hand, she teased him over his boxers, caressing his hard on with light touches or running her nails over the cloth covering him.
Abruptly, she stopped. Will raised his head, surprised, but grinned at seeing her silly smile. Kathryn stood up from the bed and, in one movement, removed her pants and her underwear before crawling onto the bed again. She reached for his boxers and began to slide them down, first with her fingers but ending the job with her teeth. Her hand went quickly to grab his shaft, squeezing it gently and making Will squirm under her touch. Before she could put her lips on it he halted her, grabbing her chin and making her look at him.
"We'll have time for this later. I'm ready and if you use your lovely mouth on me I know I won't last long."
"Later? You're pretty sure of yourself, Mister." Kathryn grinned.
"I know you, Ms. Janeway. You'll want more, until you tire me out." He said, grinning too. Kathryn crawled up his body until she could kiss his lips.
"We'll see." She teased.
Will tickled her sides, making burst out laughing and falling over the bed, next to him, while he continued his attack. Kathryn tried to escape but he had her pinned down.
"Ok! Ok!" She said, laughing. "You win! Please! Stop!"
He stopped, grinning at his victory. After a few seconds, they both calmed down. Then, Will looked down and fixed his sight at her big blue eyes.
"It's great to hear you laugh like this again, Kitty-Kat."
"I know, it feels great."
"It does."