Chapter Text
For those unfamiliar, r/AITA (Am I The Asshole) is a Reddit forum where a person can submit a social situation and be judged. There are a few possible judgments:
YTA - You're The Asshole (this implies the other side is innocent)
NTA - Not The Asshole (this implies the other side is the AH)
NAH - No Assholes Here (usually this applies to sad situations or honest misunderstandings)
ESH - Everybody Sucks Here (as in everyone is an asshole)
People are also allowed to query for INFO
Also, I have given everyone usernames which fit their personalities. Sometimes people who posted will also submit judgments in the comments below. People tend to use fake names for their stories, usually beginning with the same letter (ie John would be Jake or something like that) or just a letter to represent a person.
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Northanger Abbey
AITA for enjoying my vacation even though my boyfriend was out of town?
u/YourDreamGirl
I was recently enjoying a visit to Bath at the height of the season 🥳. My boyfriend showed up a few weeks in and then we got engaged, which was great 🎉❤️👩🏼❤️👨🏻❤️🎉
Here is the problem 🤦🏼♀️, he had to go home and ask his father's permission and work out his inheritance. It ended up being a lot less than I thought but that doesn't matter 😅 During that time I attended a ball with my best friend Cathy (his sister). While we were at the ball💃🏼, I was just watching my friend dance, I wasn't dancing at all, this man Fred approached me and would not take no for an answer. So I danced with him. I mean, I wasn't going to be rude.😅😬 Plus Fred's got a huge estate you can't snub men like that.
Fred kept following me around at the Upper and Lower rooms and asking me to dance 🤬😤. I wasn't going to lock myself up like a nun, so yes, I danced with him a few times. And we did spend some time together at the Pump Room but that was totally public 😅 Nothing happened.
Anyway, my boyfriend got back ❤️ and took everything the wrong way and got super jealous😢. I tried to tell him that it was not my fault at all, Fred was just obsessed with me 😫. Even his sister was against me and she saw how much Fred was going after me! My boyfriend told me it was over but I really love him and he won't even let me explain💔. And now Cathy isn't replying to my letters 🥺
AITA for enjoying myself while he was gone??? It was completely harmless! I just want him back and I want him to see that I didn't do anything wrong!!! 🥺 I was the victim here 😢💔 I'm going to show him the results.
Edit: I'm not a gold digger! I hate money. 😳
Top Comment:
u/TheGlassFunion
I ain't saying you're a gold digger... 🎶
YTA
Leave that poor boy alone!
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AITA for sending a guest home a little early?
u/GenerallyAwesome
I (M54) have two children, Elle (F24) and Harold (M26). We invited a houseguest Cathy (F17) to come and visit with Elle as they were good friends. Visits this long are normal where we live.
Everything was going well for a few weeks but then I found out that Cathy had lied about everything, her family, how many siblings she had, how much money her family as, basically everything. So I arranged to have her sent home. I think you can see why I wouldn't want a girl in my house who has been deceiving my whole family.
I think I did the right thing, but my son said I was an AH for sending her home early and without anyone to accompany her. AITA?
Top Comment:
u/MysteriousMatilda
YTA and this is so far from the truth I don't even know where to begin. I'm "Harold"
Cathy never lied to you, we knew exactly who she was, you chose to get your information from other (unreliable) sources.
You didn't "arrange" to have her sent home, you told her to leave at 6am the next morning and didn't even check if she had money! If Elle hadn't given her some she would have been stranded somewhere and not at home.
You sent a 17 year old girl on public transportation for SEVENTY MILES.
I can't believe that you wrote this down after I told you exactly why you were the AH before I left to make sure Cathy was okay. And for those who are worried about her, she is fine and safe at home. No thanks to my father.
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Sense & Sensibility
AITA for not helping more with my half sisters?
u/JohnnysBigD
I (M30) am the oldest of my siblings and my mother's only child. I have three younger, unmarried HALF sisters (F 19, 17, and 12 (?)) My father recently died and made me promise to look after my half-sisters and stepmother (F40). This is because basically everything he owned went to me and will go to my son (M4).
The thing is, they are fine. They have 500/year, which for 4 women living so simply is pretty good! And they got a great deal on rent from my stepmother's cousin so they don't need much from me at all. And this older lady has taken an interest in the two oldest half-sisters, she might leave them something when she dies. Plus I think the older one will marry well no matter what (F19 is really good looking, 17 used to be but she got sick or something). So I don't know why I would need to help them with anything.
Also, I really needed to build a greenhouse on the estate for my wife, and build some fences etc. and I bought this adjoining field, I would have been a fool not to buy it, so I'm really not that rich right now, I'm just getting by. I was almost in debt even, like 1000 pounds away from debt.
My wife thinks I'm perfectly in the right, but sometimes my half sister gives me this look that does something to my stomach and I think that feeling is guilt?
Edit: To be clear, after my father died I let them all stay at the house rent free for 6 months, which is a lot! And I was going to bring them food and stuff at their new house.
Edit 2: Yes that is all I have done for them, they moved really far away. I also tried to invite them over once but my wife had already invited someone else over.
Top Comment:
u/YoYoMama
I think the worst thing about this post was how deliberately you wrote "half" every time you referred to your sisters. I guess that's the only way you can tell yourself that it's okay to break a deathbed promise.
I really hope you get haunted you massive AH.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
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AITA for buying my girlfriend a horse?
u/DogNamedFolly
Pretty much what it says in the title. I have this amazing girlfriend and she really loves riding. She used to ride all the time but her family had to sell off their horses when the her father died.
I wanted to make her feel better, so I gifted her one of my own horses, Queen Mab (I breed horses). She was overjoyed.
Everything was great until her sister said they couldn't afford to keep the horse. I think that's perfectly ridiculous, they could have asked to stable it with a friend and food hardly costs anything. Or they could have used any old shed. Horses eat grass anyway, which is free
The sister clearly thinks I'm an AH but I think it was a great gift. My girlfriend was on my side before her sister got to her. I think the sister is the AH for disappointing her sister. What do you think, AITA?
Top Comment:
u/rationalcreature
You never, NEVER give animals as presents, especially an animal that costs a ton of money to keep.
Also, how are you caring for your own horses? They need a proper stable, feed, grooming, regular exercise etc. You cannot just stick a horse in a shed! This post makes me so worried about these horses you claim to breed.
YTA
u/LegoOnTheFloor This guy probably runs the equivalent of a puppy mill but with horses. I shudder to think. Also, so tone deaf. If they sold off their other horses I doubt they can afford this one. YTA
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AITA for disinheriting my son?
u/LovingMother
I am having trouble even writing this, it happened two hours ago and I am still so angry. I (F42) have two sons, the eldest E (M24) has been really disobedient for a long time. Even though I would help him with education costs etc., he won't go into the career I think is best and keeps wanting to get ordained for some reason. This girl, M, is really into him and she's very rich so I really wanted him to marry her, but he kept delaying.
Then I find out he's been SECRETLY ENGAGED FOR FOUR YEARS! And to a girl, Lucy, with no money at all! I was super angry, but I told him very nicely that if he broke it off and married M, everything would be forgiven. He ACTUALLY REFUSED and said it would be unfair to Lucy if he dumped her because she really loved him and it would ruin her reputation. So I disinherited him and went no contact.
My second son R (M22) thinks I did the right thing and so does my daughter and SIL. However, we have this new friend Mrs. J who thinks I am being cruel. AITA?
Edit: Regardless of your comments, I have signed over the inheritance to R. If I never see E. again it will be too soon. And I am not longer opening personal messages, you people are very rude.
Edit 2: I disagree with the majority of comments on this post, I don’t think you appreciate the situation. M is the only daughter of a lord! If E does get ordained, I will do everything in my power to prevent him from getting a job.
Top Comment:
u/TheMonsterIsMe
I don't know why you even came here if you are going to argue with every judgement. YTA, let your son live his own life. You should probably screenshot your own post and reference it later when you're wondering why you've never seen your grandkids.
Edit: Your second edit is beyond anything. Wow. Really the best thing E could do is never speak to you again.
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AITA for telling my sister's future SIL that she was engaged?
u/AnneSteele
i dont know what to do so I am asking because my sister is soooo mad and i dont know how to fix it. my sister has been engaed for long time and she has been keeping it secret but i always knew about it because i was listening to her the day she got engagged. i have been very good keeing it a secret for so long. then we met her fiances' sister, Fanny, and she was so nice to us and let us stay at her house and gave us some presents so i think she really likes us. so I told her that my ssister was engaegd to her brother and she started screaming so loudly and i was so scared and John was trying to calm her down but she wouldn't stop screaming and scraming. we had to pack really quick becauuse she wouldn't let us take our clothes but john told us we could and then we booth left. now my sister is so angry at me for telling and won't trim my bonnet with a new colour of pink because the doctor likes pink and i want the doctor to see the pink ribbons and what if he doesn't like my old bonnet ribbons? i didn't mean to cause so much trouble i just though that she liked us and would be happy to have my sister engaged to her brother.
AITA for telling Fanny that my sister was egaged to her brother? How can i fix it beause I really need to fix it.
Top Comment:
u/CaptainMyCaptain
Soft YTA because it does seem like you were trying to do the right thing, but if your sister asked you to keep a secret, it is not your choice when or whom to tell.
Tell your sister that you are very sorry and try to make it up to her, but unfortunately this could take some time for her to get over.
u/PrincessCaroline
INFO: have you heard of these novel things called paragraphs and capitals? Reading this made my head hurt. Does your device not have spell check?
Also, YTA. Sisters keep each other's secrets. I wouldn't be surprised if she went no contact.
u/AnneSteele i'm sorry my phone is really old and the spellcheck seems to be broken but i tried my best i didn't really go to school for very long. i was just so worried about my sister not loving me anymore. i really hope that she doesn't stop talking to me it would be very sad.
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AITA for ruining some bad drawings?
u/CottageCoreBro
My (M22) friend, LC (M25), has been meaning to build a new house. He brought me some architectural drawings and I thought they were really lame so I burned them all and told him to build a cottage.
Now he wants me to replace the drawings at my own expense, but that means I have to ask my mom for money above my usual allowance (I bought this really nice bespoke toothpick case and I'm broke). He told me I was an AH and gave me until the end of the week.
I think he should just ask for a refund because they were all lame anyway. AITA?
UPDATE: I just spent my honeymoon drawing some really magnificent cottages and LC has agreed to take those in lieu of payment. Which is really good because my mom is pretty unhappy with me right now (unrelated to this incident)
Top Comment:
u/DoctorOfProctology
I don’t even understand what I just read, YTA, obviously. Pay this man the money and get a job.
(Note: This one is a bit obscure, but I personally think it's hilarious. It's Robert Ferrars, here is the quote: “For my own part,” said he, “I am excessively fond of a cottage; there is always so much comfort, so much elegance about them. And I protest, if I had any money to spare, I should buy a little land and build one myself, within a short distance of London, where I might drive myself down at any time, and collect a few friends about me, and be happy. I advise every body who is going to build, to build a cottage. My friend Lord Courtland came to me the other day on purpose to ask my advice, and laid before me three different plans of Bonomi’s. I was to decide on the best of them. ‘My dear Courtland,’ said I, immediately throwing them all into the fire, ‘do not adopt either of them, but by all means build a cottage.’ And that I fancy, will be the end of it.)
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AITA for leaving when my fiancé didn't love me anymore?
u/throw_awayAITA45432
I fell in love with Eddie when we were both only nineteen. I would have married him right away, but he wanted us to wait until he had enough money to support us. I wasn't even sure at first if I should accept him because I knew his mother wouldn't like me, but he loved me so much and begged me until I was finally convinced to say yes.
Four years later, we still weren't married. I loved him, completely, entirely, with my whole heart, but he had fallen out of love. I could tell; he kept talking about another girl, he stopped visiting as often, his letters were less expressive, he even tried to convince me to break the engagement and claimed it was for my sake! It was so clear that his love had never been constant even though I had never even looked at any other man except him.
His family learned about our engagement and he was disinherited, I still would have married him, I would have lived on fifty pounds a year for his sake! But he came to me later and tried again to break the engagement. I was so disgusted I could not even speak with him.
Then I didn't see him or hear from him for days and days. His brother, Robbie, came to visit me and we talked a lot while I was lonely and abandoned. When I started to fall for Rob, I honestly thought Eddie was never coming back for me. I thought he had given me up, so when Rob proposed, I was taken by surprise, but I considered myself a free woman. What else could I have done?
AITA?
Top Comment:
u/AnneSteele
Lucy! this is you!!!!! i know there is a word limit on this forum but you left out a lot of info like how edward was in love with elinor and you arranged for us to stay at barton so you could keep an eye on her. also, I don't remember you telling edward you dind't want be engaged, i was there remember? you wree pretty excited at the time. also we did know that edward was going to be made into a clergy. he told you tht on the last visit soo he didn't abandon you. then when robert came I remember you saying he was a great beau. also, didn't you try to catch a few men while edward was away, before he fell for elinor. you told me that it was better to hve several baskets of eggs, or eggs in your basekt?
i think you can do an update and put in more stuff that happend.
u/CaptainPoppyPants And the truth comes out, YTA. Also, Anne my dear, you want a username that isn't your real name. That's dangerous, sweetie.