Chapter Text
“God fucking stupid little son of a-“
“… Son-“
“Don’t call me that you fucking asshole!”
“Don’t call your father that.”
“…Sorry mom…”
“All forgiven, sweetie.” The most beautiful women in the world (heaven), smiled softly at her freckled son and held out her arms, “Now give mommy a kiss.”
Roger watched as Ace, his son, -HIS BIOLOGICAL SON!!!- , walked over and hugged his wife gently and pecked her cheek with the utmost care before running back and throwing over any items he came across, looking behind and inside everything while cursing.
“Boy-“
“I’M NOT A BOY YOU OLD MAN!”
Roger expectantly looked to his wife to defend him, but she just shrugged, “he’s right, you’re old.”
“F-flower!” The man with a moustache riveling the one of Whitebeard got tears in his eyes from being called out by the love of his life.
“I love my man old.”
“Oh…” Tears were gone and replaced by a blush, the man was about to lean in to kiss his wife when Ace barged between them to run to a spot that he apparently missed.
“Urgh Ace, c’mon!” oh? He hadn’t been interrupted yet! “You’ve scanned every inch of this place. Just tell us what you’re looking for!”
“My fucking dipshit of a brother!”
Someone only a few steps away raised his hand, “I’m right here...”
“Tch, not you Thatch. My little fucking dipshit of a brother.”
“….. So I’m a big dipshit?” The chef blinked slowly, looking to Ace’s parents for confirmation.
“… Maybe that’s good thing in his language.” Roger said slowly.
“Meh, I’ll take it, there wasn’t any real fire behind it.”
“Anyway son, are you sure they’re here?” Roger asked carefully, and to his luck it seemed the raven hadn’t heard him call him son since he hadn’t been kicked in the nuts yet or yelled against.
“Ofcourse they’re here! I’m not stupid!”
“alright, what’s his name, we’ll look him up.”
“Sabo Outl- what do you mean look him up????” The flowerpot Ace was looking in was placed back down in favor of looking to the elder. The flower somehow looking relieved it won’t suffer like the pots next to it.... where all the ground and flowers were scattered over the ground.
Roger hummed as he waved his hand, making a see-through screen pop up in the sky with a keyboard underneath it, “Search him up. If I type in his name in the heaven-database, we’ll know where he is right now. Or atleast which section to go to. And if he has a heavenly denden we can even see his number and give him a call.”
“You-“ Ace growled, “COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME, YOU SHIT!”
Roger eeped as he was lunged at, “You never told me what you needed!!!! How should I have known!”
“PARENT’S INSTINCTS”
“I thought I wasn’t your dad- aaaaaaah!!!”
In the meantime Thatch and Rouge watched the scene from a safe few steps away, the woman even having sat down to drink some tea while watching her husband and son fight.
“Shouldn’t we stop them?” Thatch questioned the woman, because Rouge was the only one who could break up the fight. Roger was still strong even if dead and Ace... Ace wouldn’t hesitate to beat him up too if he tried to pull the feral boy of his father-not-father.
“No, don’t worry, leave them a little. Makes them bond. Have some tea too.”
“... Sure.”
After a while they both were panting, frustratingly Ace more so than Roger. Aparently you couldn’t really hurt one in heaven and everything healed over even quicker then Marco’s flames could heal himself. So Ace reluctantly stopped and just pushed the elder to make the screen thing pop up and type in his brother’s name. When Roger however did that, error notifications popped up.
“Why it saying that?” Ace asked squinting at the screen, “It that a section here??”
“No, it means there’s something wrong. And if the system says this, it means that he’s not here.”
“I told you that he is!”
“He’s not. The system says-”
“Then that system is wrong!!!!”
With that scream Ace ran off and as they followed, needing to make sure Ace didn’t somehow trash heaven, they watched as Ace picked up every blond child he came across. Picking them up by the scruff of their neck and looking them over. Curses flying out of his mouth that all these kids had all of their teeth and no one was wearing a napkin.
“He’s not here, son.”
“THEN WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!”
“Well, it means that he’s alive and I can look up where he is in the other system-”
CUE FIREBALL HURLING AT ROGER
“S-son!”
“Your shit head could have done that the whole time too?!”
“Y-you never asked! And how are you using your devil fruit up here?!”
“You-”
“Just look it up dear, please.”
“Of course, my flower!!!” Nodding furiously with hearts in his eyes, Roger typed away in another window before a location showed and before he could get more fire hurled at him he started to zoom in. Eventually people started to become visible and became clearer and clearer as he got closer.
“That- THAT SHITHEAD! WHAT’S HE DOING THERE! AND- AND IS THAT MARCO!?”
The flying screen showed a scene of Marco and Sabo in a small wooden house, drinking coffee together as if they’ve been doing that together for years.
“THAT TURKEY KNEW!? HE KNEW HE WAS ALIVE AND HID HIM!?”
“Ace.” Thatch started, “I’m sure there’s an explanation, Marco wouldn’t hide him if he knew he was your long lost brother. Or well not really lost. Or to you he was lost but not in the way you thought but-”
“Yea. Yea, because they're not drinking coffee like they’ve known each other for fucking right now!” Ace waved his arms to the screen, “I’ma fucking go down there and beat his ass up and drag him up here!”
“E-excuse me? You going to beat up Marco for knowing your brother???”
A roll of the eyes was there, “Not Marco, I’m going to beat up that stupid napkin brother of mine, but now that you say that, Marco deserves a beating too.... you’re coming too!”
“W-what?!”
“Yes! You’re coming and while I beat Sabo, you’re beating up Marco!”
“A-ace! I’m not going to beat up Marco, and- and how are we going to get down there!? We're dead! We can’t!”
“I will!”
“We can’t-”
“Be safe baby.”
Whilst Thatch was pulling at his hair, trying to reason with Ace was as hard, if not harder, then when he was alive! Ace’s rage had vanished as he went over to his mom, giving a hug and kissing her cheek, “I will, Mommy, love you.”
After words of love were repeated back the scowl returned and Ace grabbed Thatch's arm before BLASTING a hole through the clouds at their feet. Before the chef knew, they were freefalling from who knows how high towards the very solid foundation of Sphinx.