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“Kaveh!”
A beautiful, ornately patterned octahedral device glows with an otherworldly red. It’s mesmerizing. Kaveh takes his eyes off of it for a moment to whip his head around and glare at Alhaitham. “What do you want? I’m just—”
Alhaitham tackles him, slamming him into the sandy floor of the ruins.
“Ow! What—”
Kaveh’s view is blocked by Alhaitham’s body, but there’s a loud hum coming from the device he was inspecting and a burst of bright light that illuminates the entire ruin. And then Alhaitham’s form crumples as he collapses.
Kaveh gets to his knees and starts shaking him, too desperate to be gentle. “Alhaitham? What the hell was that? C’mon, get up.”
There’s no response, sending panic surging through Kaveh’s veins. Worst case scenarios flash through his mind, before he catches the slight rise and fall of Alhaitham’s chest. In, out. The knot in his stomach loosens. “Way to scare a guy,” he murmurs. “Alright, enough. Time to get up.”
Alhaitham does not respond to being poked, slapped, or hit. It’s not until Kaveh cups his cheek that his eyes flutter open.
“Alhaitham! Are you alright?” Kaveh asks.
It takes Alhaitham far too long to respond. “…Yes.”
Kaveh is no doctor, but Alhaitham does not look well. Even by torchlight his complexion is off. Those usually sharp diamond eyes of his are unfocused, pupils blown wide as he looks dazedly around the ruin.
“Let’s get out of here,” Kaveh says. “The previous chambers were enough. I don’t need any further inspiration.”
“…Sure,” Alhaitham says, far too slowly.
Kaveh belatedly realizes he’s still caressing Alhaitham’s face. Self-conscious, he drops his hand. “C’mon,” he says, helping Alhaitham to his feet. Alhaitham sways precariously, so Kaveh slings one of Alhaitham’s arms across his shoulders to steady him as they start walking.
Even though the sun has dipped below the horizon, the trek back to Sumeru City is long and arduous. Alhaitham doesn’t speak a word, except to warn Kaveh that he’s going to be sick. As Alhaitham heaves in the sand, Kaveh makes the decision to bring him to the Bimarstan.
When they finally arrive back at the city and make their way to the hospital, they find a long line out the door. “Great,” Kaveh mutters. The people in line chatter amongst themselves, adding up to a dull roar. Alhaitham hates crowds even on a good day.
Alhaitham wilts, utterly drained. “I don’t need a hospital. I just need to sleep this off.”
“I really think you should see a doctor,” Kaveh says.
“This hospital likely has more staff during the day,” Alhaitham says. “I can come back in the morning.”
Kaveh frowns. Something about that first sentence sounded off. But everything about Alhaitham feels off right now. He needs to lie down and rest. “Alright,” Kaveh concedes. “Let’s go home.”
Alhaitham is so out of it that when they arrive at his house, he almost walks past it.
“Here, remember?” Kaveh says. “You must be really tired.”
He’s fully expecting some sort of sarcastic retort, but Alhaitham just looks at him—long enough to make him feel uncomfortable. “I am, yes.”
“Okay, well, how about we get you some water, brush your teeth, then get you straight to bed,” Kaveh says, fishing in his pocket for his lion key and unlocking the door.
A few steps into the foyer, Alhaitham pauses and looks around the place.
Kaveh raises a brow. “Everything’s just as we left it.”
“Right,” Alhaitham murmurs. He continues to glance around, but is more subtle about it.
“…Whatever,” Kaveh mutters. “Okay, water.”
As Kaveh goes to the kitchen, Alhaitham unsteadily pushes away from Kaveh and teeters toward the bathroom.
“Hey, do you need a hand?” Kaveh asks.
Alhaitham ignores him and continues course. A few moments later, Kaveh hears the unmistakeable sound of his roommate being sick in the toilet.
“Shit,” Kaveh murmurs, filling a glass with water and pushing past the half-closed door.
Alhaitham looks up at him from the floor, panting miserably. A bead of sweat drips from his brow.
“You’re lucky I cleaned the bathroom this morning,” Kaveh utters.
“Thank you,” Alhaitham says.
Kaveh nearly drops the glass. What the hell? He hands the glass to Alhaitham. “You’re… welcome…”
Alhaitham uses the water to rinse his mouth out. When he’s done, Kaveh offers him a hand and pulls him to his feet. He guides him to the bathtub ledge to sit. For some reason, Alhaitham doesn’t let go of his hand.
Despite himself, scarlet flushes Kaveh’s cheeks. “Um. Do you need something?”
“Would you mind getting me my toothbrush?” Alhaitham asks, gesturing to the toothbrushes by the sink.
“Oh! Ah, yes. Sure thing,” Kaveh stammers, as Alhaitham lets go. Alhaitham asking him for anything is new, not to mention whatever that was. But he’s unwell and exhausted, so it makes sense that he’s a little… off.
Kaveh picks out the toothbrush atop the sky blue mug and hands it to Alhaitham with a bit of toothpaste. It feels a little weird to just stand and watch Alhaitham brush his teeth, so he grabs his own toothbrush on the navy mug and does the same.
Alhaitham is even slow in brushing his teeth. It’s troubling—what if they should have waited in line at the Bimarstan after all? Should Kaveh have insisted?
“I can hear you worrying,” Alhaitham says, after spitting in the sink. “I’ll be okay. I just need to rest.”
“Alright. But you should drink some water,” Kaveh says, filling Alhaitham’s mug and handing it to him.
Alhaitham thanks him with a slight smile. It stirs something in Kaveh, butterflies akin to when they first met. Kaveh mentally scolds himself—he shouldn’t think like this when Alhaitham might have brain damage or something—but it’s hard not to be at least a little charmed.
Kaveh helps Alhaitham to his room. Alhaitham shrugs out of his cloak, leaving it crumpled on the floor. Kaveh picks it up and hangs it up out of habit. He pulls Alhaitham’s boots off, and helps him crawl into bed.
“Goodnight, Alhaitham,” Kaveh says. “I hope you feel better in the morning.”
Alhaitham nods, and within moments is asleep.
Kaveh’s feeling pretty exhausted after everything, too, and heads straight to bed.
His guilt, though, keeps him awake. He was the one who wanted to go to the ruins in the first place. He was the one that set off that device. Alhaitham got hurt protecting him.
Kaveh doesn’t fall asleep for a long while.
Kaveh wakes up late. He washes up and gets ready for the day, and by the time he’s done, Alhaitham is awake, waiting on the divan for Kaveh to finish with the bathroom.
“How’re you feeling?” Kaveh asks.
“Still off,” Alhaitham concedes. His pallor is even more noticeable under daylight.
“Then how about when you’re ready we go to the Bimarstan and get you checked out?” Kaveh suggests.
“Sure,” Alhaitham says.
“Hungry?”
“No.”
While Alhaitham is getting ready, Kaveh quickly steps out to pick up some pita from Hamawi at Sumeru General Goods. Alhaitham may not be hungry, but he should at least get something in his system after last night.
Alhaitham is waiting for him when he comes back. “Okay, so, I know you said you weren’t hungry, and I heard you,” Kaveh says. “But you should try to eat, at least a little. You need to keep your strength up.”
A smile tugs at Alhaitham’s lips. “Mother hen,” he murmurs, taking the bag of pita from Kaveh and tearing a small piece off of one. Alhaitham looks expectantly at Kaveh, prompting Kaveh to take another pita and join him in eating.
Slowly, Alhaitham finishes his piece, but doesn’t take another. “Thank you for breakfast,” he says, hands folded.
“It’s more like lunch,” Kaveh manages. Alhaitham being polite and respectful and thanking him is all Kaveh wanted for the longest time, but Kaveh’s starting to wonder if those crush butterflies are actually anxiety butterflies. It feels wrong.
Alhaitham doesn’t have to lean on Kaveh the way he did last night, but Kaveh still offers him an arm for support. Walking arm in arm like this… Alhaitham is unwell; Kaveh shouldn’t be enjoying this. Not that Kaveh is enjoying this. Not at all.
They arrive at the Bimarstan shortly. There’s no line this time, so no need for— “Where are your headphones?” Kaveh wonders.
Alhaitham’s expression is hard to read. “On my nightstand.”
He even left his headphones at home? There’s definitely something wrong with him. “…Okay,” Kaveh says. “Let’s get you checked out.”
Kaveh brings Alhaitham to the reception desk and explains to the triage nurse what happened—which he does very poorly, since he couldn’t actually see anything, but Alhaitham doesn’t add anything.
“We’ll do what we can,” the nurse says, “but we’re trained in medicine, not magic.” She nods to Alhaitham. “This way, please.”
The nurse leads them to the exam room.
“I’ll, uh, wait for you outside,” Kaveh says, because it would be weird for him to be in there with him when he’s not family. They’re not even friends, Kaveh is pretty sure.
“Sure,” Alhaitham says, and follows the nurse inside.
Kaveh makes his way outside the hospital. A young girl with plaits is colouring with crayons on some parchment.
“Hey, um, excuse me,” Kaveh gets her attention. “Would I be able to borrow some of your parchment and crayons?”
The little girl looks at him. “Sure!” she beams.
“Thank you very much,” Kaveh says, picking out a couple crayons and a piece of parchment. “I like your dusk bird, by the way.”
The girl gasps. “You knew what it was!”
“Of course,” Kaveh says. He wouldn’t call himself great with children, but he can appreciate a fellow artist.
Kaveh sprawls out on the stone tile and sketches away. On the first side of the parchment, he draws the device from the ruins to the best of his ability: an octahedron with a glowing, floating core, and metal around the edges interwoven in a delicate pattern. On the other side, he draws what he could see when it went off: the pattern of brilliant ruby light, mostly blocked by Alhaitham’s unconscious form.
“Interesting,” Alhaitham’s voice comes from above.
Kaveh folds up the parchment and returns the crayons.
“Your boyfriend is pretty,” the girl stage-whispers as she puts the crayons back in their box.
Kaveh goes scarlet. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my… uh…” he trails off, because he doesn’t want people to know they’re roommates, but he can’t even say they’re friends.
“I understand,” the little girl says, solemnly. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“It’s not— oh, forget it,” Kaveh sighs.
“C’mon, boyfriend,” Alhaitham smirks. “Walk me home.”
Kaveh runs his hand through his hair, thoroughly flustered. “Whatever,” he huffs, and takes Alhaitham’s arm. He needs to change the subject. “How was your appointment?”
“Like the nurse said: they’re trained in medicine, not magic,” Alhaitham says. “They did give me some medicines to try to help with some of the symptoms, but apparently I shouldn’t get my hopes up.”
Kaveh frowns. “Well that’s frustrating.”
“Mm,” Alhaitham agrees.
“Oh— but Tighnari’s invited us for dinner this evening,” Kaveh suddenly remembers. “Maybe he can give a second opinion. Er— actually, are you up for walking to Pardis Dhyai? It’s a pretty long trek. …You know what, I’ll just get them to come here instead. You have no objections to them coming over, do you?”
Alhaitham shakes his head. He’s gazing at Kaveh, almost… fondly? That can’t be right, but Kaveh’s stomach flip-flops anyway. “Thanks,” Alhaitham says, at last, voice strangely soft.
Kaveh tears his eyes away and doesn’t make eye contact with Alhaitham again the whole walk home.
Once they’re back, Kaveh notices Alhaitham discreetly pressing a hand to his temple.
“Does your head hurt?” Kaveh asks.
“A little,” Alhaitham admits. “I’m going to go lie down. Come get me when the medic arrives.”
The medic? Kaveh frowns. So Alhaitham’s still a jerk after all—maybe even worse than usual. “He has a name, you know.”
“I know,” Alhaitham says, dismissively.
Kaveh clenches his fists. “You’re such an asshole.”
“And yet you’re still with me,” Alhaitham says.
Kaveh flushes head to toe. Why did he have to go and say it like that? He gives him a feather-light shove. “Cut it out. Go back to bed.”
Before Alhaitham can respond, Kaveh dashes out the door.
Then, he wonders: what if Alhaitham needs something? He opens the door again and pokes his head inside. “I’m just going to go tell Tighnari and Cyno. I’ll be back soon.” He catches a glimmer of amusement on Alhaitham’s face and wishes he weren’t so handsome when he smiles.
As expected, Tighnari and Cyno don’t have any objections to having dinner at Alhaitham’s instead. The food has already been prepped, so they come with Kaveh right away so Tighnari can check him out.
Cyno goes to arrange the food at the small kitchen table, while Kaveh brings Tighnari to Alhaitham’s room.
“Alhaitham?” Kaveh knocks. “Tighnari and Cyno are here. Can we come in?”
“Sure,” Alhaitham’s muffled voice speaks from behind the door.
Kaveh swings the door open and brings Tighnari inside.
Tighnari gives a sympathetic hiss. “Ugh. You look awful.”
“You look like shit,” Cyno agrees from behind them, the salads abandoned.
“Kaveh says you were hit by some magic in some ruins,” Tighnari says. “I don’t know if I’ll be any more use than the doctors at the Bimarstan—I too studied natural medicine and have only basic knowledge of magic. That said, I’ll still see what I can do. Can you tell me about your symptoms?”
“Exhaustion, headache, nausea, dizziness,” Alhaitham lists. “And I can’t actually remember much of anything.”
Wait, what? Kaveh goes still. “Your memories are missing? Since when?”
“The incident in the ruins yesterday,” Alhaitham says.
“…Are you fucking kidding me?!” Kaveh squawks. “It’s been almost a full day. You didn’t think to tell me?”
“You didn’t ask,” Alhaitham says.
Kaveh gapes at him. “I can’t believe you. You can’t possibly have thought you’d be able to just… fake your way through life?”
“You didn’t seem to notice, but maybe you’re just unobservant,” Alhaitham shrugs.
“You’ve been acting weird!” Kaveh says. “I knew something was off!”
“Well congratulations,” Alhaitham says. “I wasn’t planning to hide it forever. I was just hoping it would have worn off by now.”
“Clearly some of your memories are still intact,” Tighnari interrupts, before Kaveh can go off. “After all, you’re perfectly capable of holding a conversation, so you obviously remember how to speak and how to interpret words. What kinds of things are you having trouble remembering?”
“I don’t remember anything about you,” Alhaitham admits. “Or him,” he nods at Cyno. “Or even my partner,” he says, gesturing at Kaveh.
Kaveh chokes on air. Partner?
“Ah. Was that supposed to be a secret?”
“We’re roommates!” Kaveh splutters.
“Right. ‘Roommates’,” Alhaitham says, with a smirk.
Lesser Lord Kusanali, have mercy.
“Hey Tighnari,” Cyno says. “Which do you think is redder—Kaveh’s face or the muhammara?”
“I’m inclined to say Kaveh,” Tighnari says.
Kaveh covers his face and strides out of Alhaitham’s room, heading straight to the wine rack. He’d been saving this Dawn Winery vintage for a good occasion. This is not a good occasion, but it is one Kaveh would like to be drunk for.
“Don’t drink too much,” Cyno says, from behind. Kaveh jumps. He will never be used to Cyno sneaking up on people like that.
Steadying his hands, Kaveh continues to pour himself a glass.
“Alhaitham needs you to be functional,” Cyno says.
“Alhaitham hid the fact that he couldn’t remember anything from me for almost an entire day,” Kaveh scowls, taking a swig.
Cyno sighs. “Think about it this way: does Alhaitham trust strangers?”
“What? No. No, of course not.”
“Now what are you to Alhaitham, at this point in time?” Cyno prompts.
The wine goes bitter on Kaveh’s tongue. “I’m— I’m a stranger.”
“Memory loss makes people extremely vulnerable,” Cyno says. “It makes sense that he wouldn’t go around advertising it, don’t you think?”
“He opened up as soon as he saw Tighnari,” Kaveh tries.
“A medical professional, who might be able to help him,” Cyno says. “The benefits outweighed the risks.”
“…I suppose that makes sense,” Kaveh says. “He’s going to get better, right?”
Cyno gestures for him to come, bringing him back to Alhaitham’s room.
Tighnari eyes the wine glass in Kaveh’s hand but doesn’t comment on it. “Well, it seems I’m not much help either. The symptoms are similar but don’t quite fit with any of the natural phenomena I’m aware of. I would recommend taking the medications he got from the Bimarstan for symptom management and getting plenty of bed rest, but otherwise, I’m not sure what to do.”
“Oh,” Kaveh wilts. “Thanks for trying, anyway.”
“Remind me what the device looked like,” Cyno says.
“Oh— sure,” Kaveh says. “Actually, I have a rough sketch of it with me.” He sets his glass down and unfolds the parchment he had folded up in his pocket. It’s messier than he would ever show to a client, but it gets the idea across.
Cyno purses his lips. “I’m no healer, but in my studies in Spantamad I came across devices that looked similar to this. They aren’t very well understood… but my senior, Lisa, might know what to do.”
“That’s great!” Kaveh says. “Where can we find her?”
“Unfortunately, Lisa lives in Mondstadt,” Cyno says. “But if I write to her now by express post, we should hear back within a couple days.”
“Please,” Kaveh says.
Kaveh retrieves some parchment and a pen for Cyno. Cyno uses two double-sided sheets to write a detailed report, and attaches Kaveh’s drawing, too.
“Thanks,” Alhaitham says, as Cyno heads out the door to get the letter delivered using the Akademiya’s priority pigeon service. He looks from Cyno to Tighnari. “To both of you, for your help.” He turns his gaze to Kaveh. “And I appreciate your help as well.”
The butterflies that rise in Kaveh’s stomach now are definitely just nausea. This isn’t Alhaitham finally coming to realize he should treat Kaveh with gratitude and respect. This is Alhaitham treating Kaveh like a stranger he has some use for.
Kaveh downs the rest of his glass and pours himself another drink.
The next morning, Kaveh wakes at a reasonable time without a hangover, because Kaveh is a responsible roommate. He absolutely can control his alcohol consumption, thank you very much. He had stopped at a respectable three glasses, and Tighnari hadn’t even had to cut him off. …It was Cyno, but that’s besides the point.
Kaveh didn’t get around to cleaning up last night, so he does so now. While sweeping, he hears Alhaitham leave his room, followed by the shower running. Alhaitham is well enough to bathe himself, thank the Archons. …Why is Kaveh even thinking about this?
By the time Kaveh finishes doing the dishes, Alhaitham has joined him in the kitchen, sunk into a chair.
“I appreciate you cleaning up,” Alhaitham says. “But you don’t seem to like when I thank you.”
“I don’t not like it,” Kaveh tries to explain. “It’s just… not what I’m used to.”
Alhaitham considers. “Do I usually thank you in other ways?”
The tips of Kaveh’s ears go hot. “No. You’re pretty ungrateful, honestly.”
Alhaitham appears unfazed. “Interesting. What else do you think of me?”
Kaveh crosses his arms. “You’re arrogant, egotistical, and don’t care about anyone but yourself. Being around you makes me want to stick my face in a brazier.”
A smile tugs at Alhaitham’s lips. “So then what are you doing cohabiting with me?”
“It’s… complicated,” Kaveh utters. “And we’re roommates.”
Alhaitham’s smile grows. “Right. ‘Roommates’,” he says, and Kaveh can hear the quotation marks.
Kaveh sighs. Alhaitham is worn out and pallid and looks a little worse than yesterday, but at least it’s not the brand of death he was sporting the previous night. “Are you up for a walk? We can grab coffee.”
Alhaitham thinks for a moment. “With you holding onto me, there shouldn’t be a problem.”
This man is going to be the death of Kaveh. “Fine.”
The sun’s rays are harsh, and Alhaitham flinches when they step outside.
“Are you alright?” Kaveh asks. “Maybe this was a mistake. Should we turn back?”
“I’m fine,” Alhaitham says. “I want my coffee.”
“You remember that you like coffee?” Kaveh asks, hopefully.
“No. I remember what it is, though. And I want some.”
Kaveh takes him by the arm and walks him to Puspa Cafe. Enteka is behind the counter and gives them a warm greeting. Kaveh places an order for two Sumeru-style coffees and two servings of knafeh, and puts it on Alhaitham’s tab.
Enteka’s eyes drop to where Kaveh and Alhaitham’s hands are intertwined. She gives Kaveh a very not subtle wink.
Kaveh hides his face and hurries outside with Alhaitham to a table beneath an umbrella.
The walk seems to have taken a lot out of him. “You’re alright?” Kaveh asks.
“Fine,” Alhaitham says, sinking into his chair.
Enteka comes to their table with their coffees and pastries. She takes a closer look at Alhaitham. “You’re looking a little worse for wear.”
Alhaitham regards her, silently.
“A little too much wine last night,” Kaveh says.
“Ah,” Enteka nods, understanding. “Well this coffee should perk you right up!”
“Thanks,” Kaveh says, as she walks away.
“You were the only one drinking last night,” Alhaitham says, when she’s out of earshot.
“Did you want to explain your magical injury?” Kaveh says. “Because I didn’t.”
“You can always just refuse an explanation,” Alhaitham says.
“You can, because you’re a jerk,” Kaveh snipes.
“I think we’ve established your perception of my character,” Alhaitham says. “What else can you tell me about myself?”
Kaveh takes a sip of his coffee. “You don’t remember anything?”
“Nothing specific,” Alhaitham says. “It’s all… fuzzy. There are things that feel just out of reach, but trying to pursue them makes my head hurt more.”
“Okay,” Kaveh says. “I’ll tell you what I know. It’s honestly not that much, compared to how long I’ve known you, and considering we live together. You’re a pretty private person.”
Alhaitham nods. “Thank you.”
“Well, to start, you work as the Akademiya’s scribe,” Kaveh says.
Alhaitham frowns. “Tell me about the Akademiya.”
“You… don’t remember anything?” Kaveh asks.
Alhaitham’s lip curls bitterly. “Indulge me, if you would.”
And so Kaveh describes to Alhaitham the history and structure of the Akademiya. Alhaitham doesn’t interrupt, except to ask clarifying questions; his attention is fixed firmly on Kaveh.
Though still engaged, Alhaitham eventually starts to droop, cheek coming to rest against his arm.
“Let’s get you home,” Kaveh utters. After finishing off Alhaitham’s untouched knafeh, he takes Alhaitham’s hand, lifting him to his feet.
Kaveh supports Alhaitham as they make the short walk home. At one point, Alhaitham sways dangerously, but Kaveh holds on tight.
“Too much wine,” Alhaitham says, dryly.
“Shut up,” Kaveh murmurs.
Kaveh sighs with relief when they make it home. He puts Alhaitham straight to bed, and wonders if he should stay and watch over him.
“Tell me you have better things to do than watch me sleep,” Alhaitham utters.
“Of course I do,” Kaveh snaps. “I just…”
“I’ll let you know if I need anything,” Alhaitham says. Kaveh doesn’t know if mind-wiped Alhaitham is being sincere, or if he’s just saying that so Kaveh will leave him alone. Alhaitham sighs. “Where am I going to go?”
“Fine,” Kaveh says. “But I’m still worried about you.”
“You worry too much,” Alhaitham murmurs, as he closes his eyes.
Kaveh leaves Alhaitham’s door open so he can hear if he needs anything. And then he tries to go about his day.
Kaveh does some sketches, which turn out not too terribly, all things considered. He fixes himself lunch. He refines his sketches. He preps dinner—a simple lentil stew.
As Kaveh is preparing the stew, Alhaitham leaves his room and joins him in the common space. He settles on the divan, a book in hand.
Kaveh continues to stir the stew and tries not to focus on Alhaitham.
He can’t, though, because Alhaitham is an idiot. Alhaitham is getting paler and paler, and he’s pressing at his temple with one hand.
“Are you stupid?” Kaveh asks, finally coming over and snatching the book from his hand. “That’s clearly hurting you. You’re going to make yourself sick.”
“What am I supposed to do, then?” Alhaitham snaps. “I’m tired of resting.”
A pang of guilt runs through Kaveh—it’s his fault Alhaitham’s in this situation, after all. “I can tell you more about the Akademiya while I’m making dinner, if you want. I can tell you how we met.”
Alhaitham’s lips press together. “Alright,” he says, quietly.
Kaveh sticks with the facts—what happened and where and when. He minimizes their instant chemistry, and how they gravitated toward one another like binary stars. He doesn’t get into the depth of their affection, how he longed for Alhaitham so much it hurt. Pretending to be objective about it makes the loss sting just a little less.
The stew is one of Kaveh’s better dishes, but Alhaitham doesn’t eat more than a few bites. “It’s fine,” Alhaitham says. “I’m just not hungry.”
“You’d probably be feeling less sick if you hadn’t been trying to read some complicated book while suffering from a magical headache,” Kaveh grumbles.
“If it makes you feel better, I was feeling sick before I started reading,” Alhaitham says.
“Why would that make me feel better?” Kaveh frowns.
“Well it’s not your fault for not stopping me in time,” Alhaitham says. “Isn’t that what you’re worried about?”
“This whole thing is already my fault,” Kaveh acknowledges. “That specific part, though, was all you. I just want you to take care of yourself, until we have a remedy. Is that so much to ask?”
“I’ll be fine, Kaveh,” Alhaitham says. “But if you’ll talk to me, I promise not to read.”
“Alright,” Kaveh says. He can hardly deny him this—he needs something to keep him occupied, and it must be killing him, Alhaitham, to have so much he doesn’t know.
“Tell me about you,” Alhaitham says.
“Me?”
“Yes,” Alhaitham says. “You are my… roommate, after all.”
Kaveh suppresses a sigh at the intentional pause. “Sure. What do you want to know?”
“Everything,” Alhaitham says. “I’m curious to hear what you think are the most important things to know.”
“Alright,” Kaveh says. “Well, I should probably start at the beginning, with my parents.”
It’s very easy to talk about himself, and Kaveh loses track of time.
It isn’t until Alhaitham falls asleep right at the table that Kaveh realizes how long he’s been going on for.
“C’mon, wake up,” Kaveh says, patting Alhaitham’s cheek.
Alhaitham’s eyes flutter open. “Did I…?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Kaveh says. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Kaveh helps Alhaitham up and brings him to the bathroom to wash up, cleaning the dishes while he waits.
When Alhaitham’s done, Kaveh brings him to his bed, tucking him into his luxurious linen sheets.
Alhaitham looks up at him, with a soft smile. “Goodnight, Kaveh.”
Kaveh’s heart skips a beat. He has to remind himself that this is not Alhaitham, not truly. Alhaitham does not look at him like this. Alhaitham is not his.
Despite himself, Kaveh smooths Alhaitham’s bangs aside and lets his knuckles graze his cheek. “Goodnight, Alhaitham.”
Kaveh’s work hours are flexible, but Alhaitham’s hours are not. And Alhaitham is about to be late for work.
Kaveh knocks on Alhaitham’s door. There’s no response. “Alhaitham?” he says, knocking again. “I’m coming in.”
Alhaitham looks up at him from his bed with bleary eyes. He looks considerably worse than before, his pallid complexion tinged with grey. He and his sheets are soaked in sweat.
“Shit,” Kaveh utters. “How are you feeling?”
Alhaitham just looks at him, unimpressed.
“Okay, stupid question,” Kaveh admits. “I can stop by the Akademiya to tell them you won’t be in today.”
Pressing a hand to Alhaitham’s forehead, Kaveh discerns that he’s clammy, but not noticeably feverish. This information isn’t actually useful in any way to Kaveh, but he wanted to check.
Alhaitham tries to get out of bed, but struggles to get up.
“Hey, easy,” Kaveh says. “I’ve got you.”
“Bathroom,” Alhaitham utters.
“Sure,” Kaveh says. “Let me help.”
Kaveh helps Alhaitham to the bathroom. He closes the door to give him a modicum of privacy, and takes the opportunity to change Alhaitham’s sheets. He strips away the damp white linens and replaces them with an emerald green set.
After a short time, he hears the bathtub faucet running. Kaveh knocks. “Uhh, Alhaitham?” After he doesn’t get a response, he opens the door.
Alhaitham looks up at him. “Oh, did you want to join?”
Kaveh blushes to his ears. “I’m just worried, okay? You’re— you’re really sick, and I don’t want you to pass out in the bathtub and drown or something.”
Alhaitham smirks. “Well then. You better get in here.”
Kaveh approaches the side of the tub, trying not to look at Alhaitham’s chiseled body.
“I’m frail. I need assistance,” Alhaitham says. “Save me, Kaveh.”
Kaveh’s lips press together. He’s clearly teasing Kaveh, but what if he does actually need help?
So against Kaveh’s better judgement, he helps Alhaitham bathe. He rinses and shampoos his hair; he lathers soap on every inch of his body.
Alhaitham relaxes under Kaveh’s touch. Maybe a little too much. He slumps forward, and Kaveh has to catch him.
“Alhaitham!”
Alhaitham’s eyelids flutter.
“Are you okay?” Kaveh asks.
“Just… got a bit dizzy,” Alhaitham says.
“I knew this was going to happen,” Kaveh murmurs. “Serves you right for mocking me.”
Alhaitham’s lips twitch. “Mocking you? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kaveh shakes his head, finishing up and pulling the drain plug. “Come on. Out of the tub.”
Kaveh helps hold Alhaitham up with one hand and towels him off with the other, sopping the moisture from his pale skin.
He steadies Alhaitham as he gets dressed.
“What do you feel like eating for breakfast?” Kaveh asks. “Don’t say nothing.”
Alhaitham lets out a heavy exhale. “I might be able to stomach some pita.”
Kaveh brings Alhaitham to the divan. “Okay. I’ll go get some pita and will stop by the Akademiya to tell them you won’t be in. I’ll be back shortly.”
Alhaitham’s deft hand grazes his. “Thanks.”
Kaveh’s breath hitches. He resolutely does not look back at Alhaitham as he leaves the house.
As he walks, he tries to focus on his project. What kind of lighting would be best in the foyer? Sconces? A modest chandelier?
His thoughts, though, keep going back to Alhaitham. Is he going to be okay? When will Cyno's contact respond? Every touch, every smile… is it foolish to enjoy it while it lasts? (Yes.) Will Kaveh’s heart be intact when Alhaitham remembers everything again, remembers he doesn’t love Kaveh? (No.)
When he reaches the Akademiya, he realizes he doesn’t actually know who Alhaitham reports to. Then again, it’s not like he can ask him. He eventually pulls aside a reliable-looking student and pays her a thousand mora to pass along the message to the appropriate person.
Kaveh stops at the General Store on the way home and picks up some more pita.
The last stop turns out to be unnecessary, because when he gets back home, Alhaitham is asleep on the divan. His brow is furrowed and his jaw is clenched; sweat beads his forehead. Minute shivers wrack his body. Kaveh’s chest twinges with sympathy.
Putting the pita aside for now, he retrieves a light quilt from his own room to drape over Alhaitham’s form. Alhaitham doesn’t wake up.
Kaveh returns to his room to grab his notes, sketchbook, and blueprint paper, along with some drawing materials. He settles down on the floor beside Alhaitham and gets to work.
“Kaveh…?”
Kaveh’s pencil clatters to the ground. “Alhaitham! You’re awake!”
“Unfortunately,” Alhaitham groans, clutching at his head.
Kaveh lowers his voice and gets to his feet. “Have you taken your medications yet?”
Alhaitham shakes his head. “They’re in the bathroom.”
Kaveh goes to retrieve them, along with a glass of water. He hopes they can help at least a little, because Alhaitham looks downright miserable.
He brings the two bottles and puts them on the coffee table beside Alhaitham. “What are these supposed to do?”
“Pain reliever and antiemetic,” Alhaitham says, nodding to each, “in theory, anyway.”
“Hm. Do you need help taking them?”
Alhaitham’s lips quirk as he manages to sit up on his own. “I may be feeble, but I’m not quite there yet. Give me a day or two.”
Kaveh frowns. “We’ll have a cure soon. You’re going to be fine.”
Alhaitham opens the bottles and takes a spoonful of each, grimacing as he swallows and quickly reaching for the glass of water to chase it down.
“I take it those taste bad,” Kaveh says.
“Horrid,” Alhaitham says.
“Do you need anything else to get rid of the taste?” Kaveh asks.
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
Kaveh reaches for the bag on the table and offers it to him. “How about some pita, now that you’re awake?”
Alhaitham takes the bag and tears off a small piece from one of the pitas. “Does your kindness ever land you in trouble?”
Kaveh huffs out a laugh. “All the time. You’re always on my case about it, though you tend to use words like self-sabotaging or gullible.”
“Hm.” Alhaitham nibbles at the bread. “Well, I’m lucky to have you. Anyone could see that.”
A tangle of emotions crowd Kaveh’s chest. It feels good to be recognized and appreciated, and that’s something that can’t be helped, but it’s a reminder that something is seriously wrong with Alhaitham to admit such a thing. And also, that Alhaitham could be polite and even nice to Kaveh, if Kaveh weren’t Kaveh. And also… he has him? He doesn’t have him. Does he?
“I didn’t mean to distress you,” Alhaitham says.
“No, that’s not— I’m fine,” Kaveh says. “Like I told you before, I’m just not used to it. That’s all.”
“Well, we should hear back from our friend soon, and everything will be back to normal,” Alhaitham says.
“Yes,” Kaveh says. “I’m certain Cyno will let us know the moment he hears back.”
“He’s reliable?” Alhaitham asks.
“Extremely,” Kaveh nods.
Alhaitham sets the rest of his pita down. Kaveh tilts his head, but Alhaitham shakes his head. “I’ve had enough. Let’s not push it.”
Kaveh thinks back to the evening right after the ruins and decides it may be for the best. “Okay. Let’s wait a bit to try again. So, what do you want me to talk about next?”
Alhaitham gestures at Kaveh’s makeshift work station. “You have work to do.”
Kaveh shrugs. “I can work whenever, as long as it gets done eventually.”
“Well, as it happens, I’m pretty tired,” Alhaitham says. “I’m going to rest some more.”
Kaveh frowns. He’s only been awake for a few minutes. The others better hurry. “Okay. Do you want—”
“Here is fine,” Alhaitham says, lying back down on the divan and pulling Kaveh’s quilt over him. He’s shivering again.
Kaveh smooths out the blanket, tugging the corners to even them out. He sweeps Alhaitham’s bangs out of his face. “Get some rest.”
Alhaitham catches Kaveh’s wrist for a brief moment before letting go. “Alright.”
Kaveh keeps an eye on Alhaitham until his breathing evens out. Only after he’s asleep does Kaveh pick up his pencil.
The sun hangs low on the horizon when there’s a knock at the door. Kaveh scrambles to get it. When he opens it, Cyno is at their doorstep.
“Please tell me you have good news,” Kaveh all but begs.
“I do,” Cyno says. “Lisa got back to me. She gave me a recipe for an advanced potion, along with most of the ingredients. We just have to track down two more.”
“Thank the Archons,” Kaveh breathes.
“How’s Alhaitham faring?” Cyno asks.
Kaveh grimaces. “Not well. He’s barely been awake today. And the memory loss thing is… problematic.”
“For him or for you?” Cyno asks.
“Both!” Kaveh hisses. “I don’t know how to act around him. Things are weird between us.”
“Because your relationship wasn’t weird before,” Cyno deadpans. “Listen, it won’t be much longer. Tighnari and I will make this potion.”
“Can I help?” Kaveh asks. He feels useless.
“Just look after Alhaitham for a little while longer,” Cyno says. He pauses. “Would a joke cheer you up?”
“Uh, no,” Kaveh says. “No, I don’t think so, but thank you for the offer.”
“Good,” Cyno says. “I hadn’t prepared any.”
That makes Kaveh smile, just a bit. “Good luck.”
“We’ll be back soon,” Cyno says, and heads out.
Kaveh returns to the common area. Alhaitham’s eyes are open, his gaze fixed on Kaveh.
“Hey,” Kaveh says. “How’re you feeling?”
Alhaitham gives a light snort. “I think you can guess.”
“Ah,” Kaveh says. “Yeah.”
“Why are things weird between us?” Alhaitham asks. So he was listening.
“Oh, uh, I didn’t really mean it,” Kaveh says. “Sometimes I just talk without thinking.”
“I don’t think you’re being honest with me,” Alhaitham says. “Is it because I’ve lost my memories and am acting differently from before?”
“I mean, yeah?” Kaveh says. “You go from being a total asshole to being considerate and almost sweet, but it’s because you don’t remember that you enjoy being a dick to me.”
“…I see,” is all Alhaitham can say. He rolls over and goes back to sleep.
“Hey, Kaveh?” Alhaitham whispers.
Kaveh looks up from his drawing, squinting in the early morning light.
“Why is our relationship such a big secret?” Alhaitham looks like death warmed over and then some. Dark circles are painted beneath his eyes; he’s soaked with sweat.
“What? Where is this coming from?”
“I just want to know,” Alhaitham says.
“We’re roommates, Alhaitham,” Kaveh says.
“I have plenty of money,” Alhaitham says. “I wouldn’t need a roommate.”
Kaveh falters. “Well, no. You’re doing me a favour.”
Alhaitham considers. “I wouldn’t do that, not unless—”
“I don’t know what you’re getting out of it,” Kaveh says, “but what we have between us isn’t what you seem to think.”
“Did you know the first thing I can remember is waking up to you caressing my face?” Alhaitham says. “And these past few days, ever since then—”
“Have been different,” Kaveh says. “Things are different. This is not the way things will be when you get your memories back.”
“But there’s no way we aren’t—”
“I’m the one who remembers everything,” Kaveh interrupts. “I don’t know why you’re fighting me on this.”
“Because it doesn’t make sense!” Alhaitham says. “You clearly have feelings for me, and vice versa.”
“Whatever feelings you have,” Kaveh says, quietly, “will change. This is how it was when we first met, but it won’t last. When you get your memories back, you’ll remember how resentful you are of me taking up your time and space, and how good it feels to make me upset. You’ll remember how I, just like everyone else, am beneath you. You’ll remember to care about no one but yourself.”
As ever, Kaveh’s words seem to have no effect on Alhaitham. A few moments pass in silence, until Alhaitham’s eyelids flutter and his eyes roll back, and his form goes limp.
“…Alhaitham?” Kaveh says. He shakes his shoulder. “Hey, c’mon, cut it out. Wake up.”
Alhaitham doesn’t respond.
Kaveh desperately presses his fingers to his jugular. His pulse is thready and weak. He crawls onto the divan and cradles Alhaitham against his chest. “No, no, no, you don’t get to do this. Don’t you fucking do this to me.”
Those can’t be his last words to him.
“I’m sorry,” Kaveh says, holding Alhaitham close. “Wake up. Please.”
Time stretches on endlessly as Kaveh waits with nothing but Alhaitham’s shallow breaths to let him know he’s still here.
Kaveh waits.
And waits.
And waits.
“Don’t you dare leave me,” Kaveh whispers. He presses a kiss to Alhaitham’s lips, and a tear splashes onto Alhaitham’s cheek. There's no response. “I can’t live without you.”
A knock at the door startles Kaveh out of his trance. Kaveh is reluctant to put Alhaitham down, but he needs to get the door.
Cyno and Tighnari are there.
Tears roll down Kaveh’s cheeks. “Help,” he whispers.
“Don’t worry,” Tighnari says. “We’ve got it. You’ll be back to bickering like divorcees in no time.”
Kaveh leads them inside, to where Alhaitham lies motionless on the divan. His chest is tight. “He won’t wake up.”
Tighnari takes one of Kaveh’s ink pens and uses the side of it to press into one of Alhaitham’s fingernails, hard.
Alhaitham shifts and lets out a soft groan.
“Alhaitham,” Tighnari says. “We’ve brought a potion that should counteract the magic from the ruins. We’re gonna need you to be awake to drink it.”
With effort, Alhaitham opens his eyes.
Kaveh clambers over to the divan. He scoots in behind Alhaitham to prop him up.
Tighnari passes Kaveh a circular glass bottle filled with a brilliant ruby liquid. Kaveh takes it and carefully uncorks it.
“My hands,” Alhaitham utters. They’re shaking.
“I’ve got you,” Kaveh promises, bringing the bottle to Alhaitham’s lips.
Alhaitham takes a sip. He shudders.
“That’s it,” Kaveh coaxes. “Keep going.”
Alhaitham does as he is instructed. Kaveh worries a few times that he won’t keep it down and then what? But he manages to keep going until he’s drank every last drop.
Without warning, Alhaitham collapses, going completely limp in Kaveh’s arms. “Shit! Alhaitham!”
Tighnari reaches over and takes Alhaitham’s pulse.
“What’s happening?” Kaveh asks, frantic.
Tighnari shakes his head. “I’m not sure.”
“Stay with me,” Kaveh pleads, pressing their foreheads together. And then, in a bare whisper: “I need you.”
Alhaitham starts coughing, weakly. His eyes flutter open, and he looks up at Kaveh through dark lashes. “Do you see how I could be getting mixed messages here?” he whispers.
Kaveh just stares at him. “How are you feeling?”
“I remember everything,” Alhaitham says. “You know, you’re wrong about a lot of things, as usual.”
Kaveh shifts his grip so Alhaitham can see his middle finger.
Alhaitham’s lips twitch, before sobering. “Kaveh, I wouldn’t let you take up my time or space if I didn’t want you there. I’ll admit sometimes I have fun teasing you, but I’ve never seen you as anything but my equal. And there’s at least one other person I care for in this world. Your feelings may have changed, but I… Do I really have to spell it out for you?”
Kaveh’s heart is a jackhammer. He needs time to process. “I think you might,” he says. “But not now. Let’s not make Tighnari and Cyno any more uncomfortable than they already are right now listening to us.”
“Don’t mind us,” Cyno says, but Tighnari looks ready to crawl out of his skin.
“This conversation isn’t over,” Kaveh tells Alhaitham.
Alhaitham’s brow is uncharacteristically wrinkled. Uncertainty or worry don’t belong on his pretty face.
Kaveh grasps Alhaitham’s hand. “We’ll be okay,” he promises.
“Hey, Kaveh?” Alhaitham says.
“Hm?”
“Thank you.”
Kaveh’s brows raise. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me the first time,” Alhaitham says. “I’m not saying it again.”
Kaveh fights a grin, and loses. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”