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The rumors had started again. The whispering, the glares, the threats, the shoves in the hallway, the dirty tricks…it had all started again.
Minako knew she shouldn’t have cared. She shouldn’t have let it bother her. After what they’d learned, after what she knew was coming…why should she let the snide remarks of a few clueless girls bother her?
But they did. They did, because every girl in the school who’d ever sighed longingly for Ryoji was blaming her for the fact that he was gone. And, in a way, they were right. Ryoji had left, because of her, he’d left in the hopes of giving her enough time to sever the bond between them so she’d be able to make the right choice…or what he thought was the right choice for her.
Minako still wasn’t certain. She had twenty eight days to get certain, but she wasn’t sure how that would ever be possible. People, normal people, had their entire lives to adjust to the idea of their own death, and even take steps to prepare for it, in so far as ensuring that it would be as quick and painless as possible. She had twenty-eight days. To decide for herself and the whole world, she had twenty-eight days.
Ryoji had said he didn’t want them to suffer, that he didn’t want her to suffer. Minako was starting to see his point. If she’d been just an ordinary high school girl, life would have been hard enough, especially with her social standing so recently and brutally reduced. But that, on top of the knowledge that they all wouldn’t live to see spring…
…she supposed it wasn’t too unexpected that she found herself grabbing a bathroom stall over lunch, locking herself in, and settling herself on the toilet to cry.
She rarely had peaceful dreams anymore, not since October. But last night had been particularly awful. She’d dreamed that she’d agreed to Ryoji’s request, and killed him. Just a few sweeps of her naginata, and he’d bled, and then he’d been still…and she’d known peace.
She’d woken up in tears, as well, which only made this little display even worse to her mind. It didn’t help that no one had been in any fit state to notice, back at the dorm. The rest of SEES had all been too wrapped up in their own private thoughts to notice hers’. Normally, she didn’t mind it, she didn’t mind at all the fact that she had to be there for her friends more than they could be there for her, she was the leader, after all…
…but she’d overheard Mitsuru and Akihiko talking, over breakfast, murmuring between themselves about whether they could really kill Ryoji. And she’d wanted to scream. It had been clear to her then that they really didn’t understand – no! It wasn’t a matter of if they could kill Ryoji. It was a matter of if she could kill Ryoji. She was the reason he had his human form and his human feelings in the first place, only she could even temporarily take him from this world. Whatever they wanted, Ryoji would only listen to what she decided. It wasn’t even their choice, not really – it was hers’, all hers’, all the weight on her shoulders like it had never been before.
She’d left for school alone. No one had stopped her. Yukari hadn’t even noticed the whispering going on about Minako in class. She felt sure that Aigis would have, with the robot’s utter devotion to her, but…Aigis wouldn’t be with them for a long time yet.
Not after what Ryoji had done to her.
She still couldn’t rationalize it – the sight of Aigis, mangled and broken on the bridge, Ryoji standing over her, with her memories of the smiling, mischievous, sad boy who’d sat with her on the bank of the river and eaten crepes…
Minako stuffed her fingers in her mouth to keep her crying from being too audible, and it turned out to be a good thing she had. A second later, the door opened, and she saw a gaggle of feet belonging to a gaggle of girls entering the restroom. Hastily, Minako drew her feet up onto the toilet, trying to make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible. She knew these girls – she didn’t know them by name, but she knew them by the rumors they spread and fed like a fire.
She heard them like a familiar song, as these classmates of hers’ gathered around the mirror…
Minako was a slut. She’d dated Junpei Iori, before dumping him for some delinquent punk that had never come to school before. She’d strung along Hidetoshi of the Student Council to convince him to let her off the hook for smoking in the restrooms and taken advantage of a poor, naïve transfer student –before breaking his heart so badly that he left the school. And just recently, she’d started putting the moves on beloved school-wide idol, Akihiko Sanada, just as she’d been working her spell on Ryoji.
There were others, of course – Minako was on drugs. Minako stayed out all night partying and selling herself to men. Minako was frequently in trouble with the police. Minako thought she was better than everyone else. Minako cheated in class, or maybe it was that she was a teacher’s pet, or slept her way to good grades. Remember that week she waited outside the faculty lounge every week? Minako was just crazy, and Mr. Ekoda had tried to get her committed but she had powerful friends who’d stopped him.
Their words hadn’t bothered her for a very long time. Maybe, once upon a time, months ago, she’d tried to avoid their glares by staying away from Akihiko. It wasn’t as though he interested her in the slightest, romantically. But then she’d found her confidence, realized that Akihiko was her friend and this was no business of theirs’, and she’d been able to smile at them even as they seared her skin with their glares.
But now, knowing what she knew, aching from her recent loss and feeling crushed by the weight of the world, Minako just tried not to breathe too loudly and hoped they’d go away soon. She covered her ears with her hands, but it wasn’t enough, not in the echoey bathroom. “Slut”, “stuck-up”, “crazy”, “cheater”, “psycho”, “freak”, “failure”, “orphan”…
She must have made a noise, because there was silence for a very brief second, enough that Minako took her hands away from her ears with the hope that maybe they’d gone. But the next, she knew she was wrong. One of the girls had moved to stand in front of the stall door, and was staring in at her.
“Minako…?”
Hastily, Minako got to her feet and unlocked the door. She made to open it, but met resistance.
“You bitch! Were you eavesdropping on us?”
When she tried to push again, Minako realized what was stopping her. The girl was leaning on the door, trying to keep her trapped. With an unnervingly pleased giggle, a couple of her friends moved in to help her.
“Well, fine! Since you’re here, we might as well say this to your face. How dare you chase Ryoji away? You get all the guys, you stupid tramp, you couldn’t have left him alone? He was such a nice guy, he probably didn’t have any idea what kind of person you were until it was too late! I have half a mind to open this door and…”
There were Personas swirling around the depths of her soul that were stronger than Seigfried. Minako had yet to dig them out, however, and so it was Siegfried that came howling to her aid. He didn’t do anything so flashy as appear, nothing short of a Shadow would make her draw her Evoker, but she felt him in the forefront of her mind, adding all his strength to her as she pushed…
When her vision cleared, the bathroom door was hanging off one hinge, and her three tormenters were sprawled, dazed and bruised, against the wall. That left two by the sinks, staring at her in horror…but at least she was out.
“I love him,” Minako said. The tremble in her voice was evident, so she swiped angrily at her eyes, and said it again. “I love him, and…and he loves me! And no matter how much that upsets you, it’s not going to change!”
She made it out the door before one of the girls she’d left standing grabbed her by the arm and wrenched her around. Minako opened her mouth to protest…and then the girl slapped her. Right there in the hall in front of all the students on their way to lunch, the girl slapped Minako right in the face.
Minako pulled herself easily away, stumbling back a few steps. But she didn’t move any further. Her ears were ringing, and her cheek stung from the blow. She raised a hand to rub the pain away, and saw the rest of the pack stumbling out of the restroom.
She could turn and run, but the crowd didn’t look terribly friendly. Not entirely because of Ryoji, of course not, more to do with this awful cult that had been taking the city by storm. She’d laughed it off when she’d first heard the news, telling Yukari that of course that particular brand of wolves would never reach their doors.
And now she could see that she’d been wrong. They could sense the difference in her, they could sense that she wouldn’t submit to Apathy.
And they didn’t like it.
Minako was a girl that could plumb the very depths of Tartarus without fear. All the same, that tense standoff in the hallway might have gone very badly for her if not for the voice of command…
“What the hell is going on here?”
A few people outright ran, several more pretended not to be involved in the slightest, and the rest just turned to stare in stunned surprise. Hidetoshi Odagiri stood by the boy’s restroom, arms folded and expression thunderous, all the force of his Disciplinary Committee powers turned on the girls.
Who promptly fell over themselves in an attempt to throw Minako under the proverbial bus.
“She went crazy!”
“We weren’t doing anything!”
“Look what she did to the door!”
Hidetoshi, without fear, opened the girl’s restroom door to see what they were talking about. Minako found herself looking in over his shoulder, hoping that she’d been imagining the door hanging off one hinge.
She wasn’t.
“Hm…” said Hidetoshi, turning to survey them with a critical eye. “That damage didn’t seem like it came from inside. It seems like it might have come from the other side. From too many people leaning on it, as a matter of fact. You know the school can’t afford anything too sturdy. In fact, you all ought to be more careful.” His gaze ticked to Minako, as he finished: “Someone might have gotten hurt.”
“Like us! Are you going to let her get away with this, Hidetoshi-san? She’s completely out of control!”
Like a laser beam, she felt Hidetoshi’s gaze move to the red mark on her cheek. In that moment, Minako got the sense that he suddenly understood rather a great deal.
“Come with me,” he said, reaching out to take her by the arm. To the crowd, it might have looked like he was dragging her off for punishment. Minako knew better from the moment he touched her, but she managed to keep the utter relief from her face until they’d reached the rooftop, where they were blessedly alone. It seemed that the beauty of the view over Iwatodai was just too much for Apathy Syndrome sufferers, nowadays.
“All right, Minako,” said Hidetoshi, settling himself onto one of the benches and indicating for her to join him. “What happened?”
What happened? Minako almost laughed. ‘What happened’, indeed? She’d love to tell someone what happened. She couldn’t, though, she just couldn’t – it was all just so completely horrible, not to mention impossible. She knew Hidetoshi thought very highly of her. Minako didn’t want to ruin that by spouting off such insane things.
But some of what she was thinking must have shown on her face.
“Hey. Look. I know you have kind of a complicated situation. I don’t know what it is, because that’s none of my business. Not if you don’t want to tell me. But I can tell…things are hard for you, right now. Harder than they are for most of us.”
“No, Hidetoshi, I don’t think that…”
“I do. You have a lot on your plate, Minako. You have for a while, now, but…it’s worse, isn’t it? I can tell. You don’t need to be hassled by those girls while you’re dealing with it, whatever it is.”
If she’d had her choice, Minako would take being harassed by the girls over the choice ahead of her. Especially if being harassed by the girls meant that Ryoji was still here.
But, all the same, she appreciated Hidetoshi’s concern, and his careful words. It was inexpressibly comforting to be reminded that she did still have friends in the world, even as the rest of SEES were wallowing and leaving her alone in the bargain. It was nice to know that, even outside Tartarus, there were still people who cared enough to look out for her.
And yet, all the same, his concern for her made the now-all-too familiar feelings of guilt squirm in Minako’s stomach like worms. Unbidden and unwanted, the words of the girls came back to her again. Slut, whore, leading them on…was that really what she was doing here? She knew that Hidetoshi loved her, even if he’d promised to wait until he was “worthy of her” to do anything about it, but…she didn’t love him. He was a good friend, and nothing else. If he was only helping her because he had feelings for her…was that really a good thing?
So she had to know. The world might be coming to an end, after all – she didn’t have too much time to ask.
“Hidetoshi…why? Why do you see me differently than they do? After how little I helped you, and with how strange I behave…I don’t understand.”
“You don’t?” He seemed genuinely surprised for a moment…and then he seemed to understand, and smiled softly. “Heh. I guess you really don’t, do you?”
The sound of the bell ringing, calling them both back to class, made them both jump. Blushing, Minako made to turn and leave…but then Hidetoshi reached out, tugging on her sleeve before she could open the door and dart inside.
“Hey.” His voice was gentle, and apologetic, and she stopped. “I’m sorry. You’ve had a long day – I need to be straight with you, I owe you that much.”
Minako nodded, and managed to mumble a “thank you”, but beyond that, she didn’t trust her voice anymore.
“I’m not doing this just because…of any hopes I might have, Minako. I’m doing it because…all this year, you’ve had it tough.I don’t know how, or why, but I’ve seen that you’ve had it tough. That you’ve got…other things to worry about. Bigger things. But even in the middle of all of that, you still come to school every day. You’re still involved in more clubs than most of this school. You still keep up with your friends, and…you try to help them. They might not see that. But I do, and…since I’m your friend, too, I think it’s about time I was there for you.”
Minako didn’t say anything, after that. She couldn’t, because she was sobbing again. Instead, she simply turned and threw her arms around Hidetoshi, crying out all the pain and heartache into the front of his uniform. The hug that followed, simple and comforting, was the best thing in the world, and it was just one more cruel trick of fate among many that the bell rang just a few seconds later.
She still couldn’t say anything to him, when she pulled away. But she hoped the smile that touched her lips, a smile that made her face hurt after the misery of the last couple of days, said enough.
It was a shadow of her usual broad grin, but it was something, and they parted at the bottom of the stairs to return to class. The girls who had attacked her in the bathroom saw her red-rimmed eyes, completely misunderstood, and were apparently satisfied enough to leave her alone through the rest of the day.
It wasn’t much of an improvement. But it was something. And Minako’s spirits improved just a little bit.
At least until the final bell rang, and Yukari left the room without even so much as once looking back at her. Minako didn’t doubt that it was just because Yukari was wrapped up in her own misery, not because she bore Minako any ill will like the other girls had.
All the same…she’d been looking forward to a little more time with her dearest friend to pick her spirits up a little further. But with the fate of the world resting in her hands, Minako could understand that she might not be very much fun to be around.
Feeling her shoulders sag with the weight of the future, Minako dolefully packed her things, slung her backpack onto her shoulder, and left the classroom. At the least, her hesitation meant that she wasn’t surrounded by strangers and enemies anymore.
“Minako!”
She cringed, reflexively, at the sound of someone calling her name. It had so rarely been a good thing, today. But then her tired mind caught up with her body, and stopped her from hurrying away.
A good thing, too. A second later, Rio Iwasaki was pulling up alongside her. The warm, happy smile on her face immediately dispelled Minako’s fears.
“Hey, Rio,” she said, mustering up a smile of her own. Despite, or perhaps because, of Yukari’s hasty exit, the sight of one of her oldest friends did a bit to pick her back up again. “What’s up?”
“I came to drag you to practice.” All of Minako’s highly refined combat reflexes failed to warn her of Rio’s grip on her arm until it was much too late to do anything about it. “We’ve got a game coming up, remember? You may be the best on the team…but, even you need to practice, once in a while.”
“Oh.” A heavy weight of guilt settled in Minako’s stomach. Guilt wasn’t unfamiliar to her anymore, not in the slightest…but it was a while since she’d let herself feel it in regards to school. All the same, Rio had a point. It was a while since she’d been to practice.
And some tennis practice sounded good right about now.
“Sorry, Rio. You know how it is. First midterms, and then I was so excited about the Kyoto trip…just let me pick up some melon bread at the store, and I’ll be right over.”
It was the work of a few minutes to stop by the school store and pick up an after school snack.
…Minako chickened out of buying melon bread at the last moment, and had crab instead. With her boundless supply of pocket change, she picked up one for Rio as well. Her captain deserved at least that much, for putting up with Minako’s absence for this long.
But that absence ended today. It was a cheering thought that saw Minako through the halls and to the locker room to change. Coming out onto the tennis court, lit by the late afternoon sunlight, wearing a wrinkled uniform and clutching her racket, was like a hug from an old friend. The sight of the rest of the team in a crowd, Rio at its head and giving her usual before-practice lecture, warmed Minako’s heart in her chest. She took a spot between Yuko and Chihiro to listen and wait for her assignment.
“All right! Minako, take one side! Nezumi, Hanako, Aiko, take the other!”
“…w-what?”
The other three girls seemed just as surprised as Minako, staring anxiously at one another, and at her. But, Rio took no notice. She was already busily dividing up the rest of the group into teams. Minako noticed with some rising panic that absolutely no one else was given three people to work against.
And then she realized that she hadn’t, either. Rio took a side with Nezumi, Hanako, and Aiko when she was done with the others. Standing at the ready, holding her racket tightly in both hands, Minako expected to feel the same anxiety and fear she’d felt earlier, when confronted with the girls in the bathroom.
But she didn’t. Minako knew Rio very, very well, and there was nothing in her smile to suggest any malice. Outnumbering Minako four against one, Rio’s smile remained perfectly normal, friendly, and excited.
But Minako didn’t have time to think much further than that. Nezumi had just launched a zinger, and Rio followed it up with a fast ball.
Practice was a long, exhausting blur from there. Her three teammates dropped out and cycled out as they got tired, or when Rio ordered them to another partner. But the captain herself remained resolutely on the other side of the net, lobbing them fast and hard.
Minako didn’t return every strike. But, for having missed so many practices, she returned a fair few. Bolstered on by Rio’s encouragement and the chatter around her, even as her muscles screamed from exertion, Minako kept racing back and forth across the court to meet the serves, and the tennis court echoed with the sound of bouncing tennis balls.
When Rio finally called a halt, Minako’s wobbly legs gave out under her, and she sagged to the floor of the court. She was laughing as she did, though, because at some point in all the general chaos, she’d figured out Rio’s plan. All this time, she’d been run ragged…but she’d had fun. She’d felt like a part of a team again when SEES was falling to pieces, and she’d been surrounded by friends when the entire world felt like it was against her. Even as they’d worked her silly, they’d encouraged her. And, really, didn’t she deserve a bit of a hard time for missing so many practices?
Besides…she hadn’t thought about Ryoji once in an hour and a half.
Of course, even as she thought that thought, the weight returned, so heavy that she thought for an instant that she might not be able to get up from the ground. But, in the next second, Rio was there, her form silhouetted by the sun, holding out a hand to help her up.
A team trip to Wuck at the end felt just like old times. Burgers made of mystery meat, fries piping hot, sodas in paper cups damp with condensation, and three tables full of happy, tired high school girls. Minako was in the thick of it, nestled between Rio and Yuko, and for the first time in many days, she felt safe.
The girls trickled out, one by one, off to the library or to jobs or back to the dorms to work. Rio and Minako were the last two left, to gather up the team’s trash and tidy up after them, and exit back into the mall together.
She was just contemplating going home to finish up some homework, when it happened.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Minako!”
This time, her moment of tension at hearing the sound of her name called was reflexive, and brief, because there was no chance of mistaking this voice for a threat of any sort. She spun on the spot to face him, and gasped with delight.
“Bunkinchi!”
Rio turned to follow Minako’s gaze. She didn’t seem the slightest bit surprised to see the old man…despite the fact that Minako had never seen her in the book store.
She didn’t care. Bunkinchi was so obviously happy to see her, and almost before she knew it, Minako was dashing over to join him. “How have you been?” she asked, all in a rush. “How is Mitsuko? Did you get any new books? What about…”
Rio watched Minako chatter at the old man like they were old friends. She knew that they were. It had been something like fate that had led her into this bookstore for the first time just a few days ago, and she’d overheard them mention her name, and they’d got to talking and, well…
…a meeting had been arranged. And, as Bunkinchi beckoned them both inside for some melon soda and a chat, Rio gave herself a pat on the back. It might have taken a few friendly nudges to get her back here, but Minako looked about ready to burst with joy. Rio recalled dimly that Minako didn’t have any parents. If that was the case, then…well, these two were probably the only adults in her life, and it was clear that she adored them for it.
Rio stayed as long as she could. But, finally, homework beckoned, and she bid her friend and her friend’s friend a good night. And then she left, safe in the knowledge that she had done a very good thing for a very good friend.
Minako stayed a while longer. It was safe in the bookshop, and quiet. Bunkinchi and Mitsuko were blessedly unaffected by all the recent insanity going on outside. In fact, they’d been worried about her since she hadn’t been by lately. And they saw, even if they didn’t say it, that she was having a hard time. And even if they didn’t say it, it was nice to be treated gently, looked after. She couldn’t remember her parents. But she’d hoped more than once that they might have been at least a little like Bunkichi and Mitsuko.
But, all good things. She glanced up from the latest volume of her favorite manga, caught sight of the clock, and realized with a jolt for the first time how late it was.
Bunkinchi insisted on driving her home. It wasn’t safe for a lady out alone in these troubled times, he said. And even if he didn’t know the reason why, Minako couldn’t deny that he was right. It wasn’t safe for anyone, but it especially wasn’t for her.
She waited until she had climbed the front steps to the dorm before she turned and waved to him, showing that she was all right and she’d be safe from here. Bunkinchi waved back, before driving away. Minako paused then and there jus to pray that he’d make it home all right, before she took a deep breath, steadied her nerves, and opened the door to enter the dorm.
As she’d expected, they were all there in the lounge. As she’d expected, they were all completely separated from one another, doing their own thing, wrapped up in their own misery. Just like they’d been since Ryoji had left.
Just like she’d been since Ryoji had left.
It had hurt, that feeling of being alone. But Minako had remembered today that she wasn’t alone. SEES might have scattered, but she still had friends, and she still had a life outside of climbing Tartarus and fighting shadows. And they were friends that cared about her, and it was a life that meant something, and she wouldn’t give them up for anything. Not to despair, and not to Nyx.
She realized that she’d known the right answer ever since Ryoji had left her with her choice. She just hadn’t wanted to see it. But for Rio, and Hidetoshi, and Bunkichi and Mitsuko, for Maiko and Bebe and Saori, she would make it. Whatever it took, she wouldn’t let the world Fall.
“Hey, Fuuka? What do you say we go to Tartarus tonight?”