Work Text:
(He-e-e-ey! He-e-e-ey!)
“Hi–” ‘ welcome to The Lion’s Den, what can I get you this morning ?’ is what Lando is supposed to say, but Oscar has just walked through the door, so of course all of his brain cells have decided to go on strike.
It’s only with the help of his internal autopilot that Lando is able to input Oscar morning order into the register’s console: a plain black coffee with a double shot of espresso, a double double, and a large dark roast with count ‘em twelve sugars. The same thing he’s been ordering for years.
Watch me, no one can copy
It was General Calculus 1 where Lando met Oscar.
Met is a strong word.
It was General Calculus 1 where Lando first saw Oscar, and stopped talking mid-sentence so he could use all of his brainpower to stare at the blond with the floppy hair.
Carlos had had to wave his hand in front of Lando’s eyes to get his attention, and that only led to Lando pushing his hand aside because the Spaniard was blocking his view.
“Cabron, what are you looking at?”
“Who,” he corrects.
Carlos sighs, knowing that Lando’s last thread of conversation is lost to the void. “Who?”
“Three blonds, up front.” Lando is proud of himself for realising that the guy has friends with him. “The one to the left with the floppy hair.”
Carlos tilts his head. “I don’t see it.”
You just can't stop me
Lando doesn’t know how he or when he learned Oscar Jack Piastri’s name, but he’s pretty sure he’s supposed to be embarrassed about it. He does know to be embarrassed about finding out his friends’ names are Logan and Liam because he had coerced Carlos into giving him his phone, so that he could stalk Oscar’s Instagram from Carlos’ account during one of their study sessions.
He didn't get much homework done that day.
So when your vision starts to blur, that's the point when we're rocking
Lando gets a job at The Lion’s Den to make some money during the semester.
He trips over his own feet when he comes in on his first day and sees Liam placing a tray of donuts into the display case.
He makes a good, totally normal, well adjusted, first impression to his new colleague who’s Instagram he definitely hasn’t stalked for titbits about Oscar with Carlos’ Instagram account.
It takes ten minutes for Daniel to save him. Daniel, who is one of the owners, but he isn’t an owner because he doesn’t want to be. Or something. Lando doesn’t really get it, but he also doesn’t need to. As long as he gets paid to start using that finance degree he’s working towards, he doesn’t really care.
'Cause there's no stopping
Somehow Liam and Lando become friends, so it’s okay.
It could have gone much worse. At least Liam hasn’t figured out his huge, massive, crazy crush on his second best friend.
Because Logan is Liam’s best friend, but Oscar is Logan’s best friend, and Logan is also Oscar’s best friend, but there’s nothing going on between Oscar and Logan, because there is something going on between Liam and Logan.
Which means Lando has a chance with Oscar.
Yeah, we stay locked in
It’s Tuesday, and Lando doesn’t have any classes in the morning, so he’s working on fixing the mess that is Max’s expenses spreadsheet. It’s a mess. Lando is still in introduction to accounting, and he can tell it’s a mess.
He’s considering throwing his head through the drywall when Max pokes his head into the back room. “Lando, how busy are you?”
“Uhm?” He looks through the screen. “I’m not doing anything right now.”
“Could you come help? One of those micro-influencers at the University made a post about the cafe, and I’m getting swamped out there.”
“Doesn’t Daniel normally help you?” Lando asks, turning to the admin desk area the Aussie normally occupies. “Oh, he’s not here.”
“Daniel is having a meeting with egg suppliers about the sustainability and treatment of their chickens. I think. Please? I am dying alone out there?”
“Are you sure?” he asks, already standing. “I’m not trained or anything. If you’re swamped then it’s probably a bad time too.”
“No, it is fine. It’s easy to pick up, both the register and the coffee machine.”
“Oh Max, no. Do not trust me with your machine. I will break that immediately. I do the finances, remember? I know how expensive that is, there’s a whole savings account just in case we need to replace your baby.”
The Dutchman laughs. “Fine. Just the register; you are good enough with people.”
And Lando is. In fact when he’s signing up for classes in his second semester, he makes sure that he doesn’t have any classes in the morning, specifically so that he can help Max with the morning rush.
Come on, let's go and paint the town, we ain't slowing down
Lando starts making playlists for the cafe after he gets tired of Max just playing the top hits of the week.
Max doesn’t seem to care that Lando has taken over music duties. Sometimes it feels like Max isn’t a music person. Like he doesn’t care what he’s listening to. But if Lando pays enough attention, he can tell that Max has his favourites.
He makes it a mission to figure out what music his boss likes and doesn’t like. Daniel helps too, because he also has no idea what Max likes.
I bring the party, I bring the crowd
It’s spring now, and the pier’s opened up. Lando manages to snag a DJ spot on opening weekend.
He’s spinning, and booping, and bopping, and getting into the groove when all of a sudden he hears this voice: “Landooooooooooo!”
His eyes dart over.
Daniel. And Max.
“Oh my god my bosses are here,” he says to no one.
Max raises his Red Bull in hello.
I pull the trigger, I make it loud
It takes Lando fifteen minutes to get over his bosses being in the crowd.
He gets an idea. He puts on his cockiest grin and scratches the record, before letting it play out again. “Hey guys! Guess what?”
“What?” The crowd shouts back at him, definitely not in unison.
“My boss is here! Make some noise if you’ve been enjoying yourseeeeeeeeeeeeeeelf!”
They scream as he amps up for a drop.
“Yeah! They love me!” He turns to wink at Max. “I should get a raise, yeah?”
“Yeah!” Daniel shouts with the rest of them.
“No!” Max calls, cupping his mouth so his sound echoes further.
Lando just laughs. “Well I tried!”
And the beat drops.
Lando grins at Max, he knows it was never going to work. But Max isn’t look at him, Max is smiling awkwardly at a blond with floppy hair who is glaring at him—
That’s Oscar.
Oscar is glaring at Max because Max is the only person in the crowd who said Lando shouldn’t get a raise.
Oh my god Oscar is in the front row at his set.
The crowd is screaming from his last transition, but Lando cannot hear them over the buzzing in his head.
Oh my god he’s embarrassing.
So you'll know it's me when you hear this sound
Lando has just thrown Hulk’s order over from the register to Max’s screen, finally done with the line of customers, when he spots Oscar through the window.
Come with me and let's hit the ground
He panics. He freezes mid-sentence. He drops like a stone.
Just keep up, let's run it down (Wooh)
The bell above the door rings. The door itself creeks.
Max looks down at Lando, an expression of pure confusion washes over his face. Lando tries for his best puppy dog eyes.
It must work, because Max caps the drink in his hands. “Order for:” he says before taking a deep breath. “Hüüüüüüüüüülkenberg. Hi, welcome to The Lion’s Den, what can I get you this morning?”
“I dunno. Liam says the coffee here is good. Uhm. I’llllllllll–I’ll have the normal roast, two creams, two sugars. Thanks.”
Lando melts a little at the sound of his voice, the little morning gravel still present even though the sun has been up for hours by this point.
“One double double coming up. Name for the order?”
“Oscar.”
“Liam you said? Baker’s assistant?”
“Yeah. He works here in the morning, swears by the coffee actually. Had a late night, and figured I’d give it a try.”
Max chuckles. “How do you know him?”
Why is Lando’s boss making small talk with his crush? He wants the floor to swallow him up whole.
“We’ve got a couple classes together at Uni, and we’re both working on aerodynamics for the Formula Electric design team.”
“Oh wow. What is he doing clocking in at four am here, then?”
Lando snorts.
“What was that?”
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
“Sorry,” he hears Nico’s voice call over the din of his fear. “Just me. My buddy Kevin got in trouble at work again.”
Max glances down at Lando, sending him the most unimpressed look in existence. “Order for Oscar,” he calls.
Lando hears the thunk of the coffee cup on the counter, and then Max is walking back to his baby.
“Thanks, mate.” A pause. “Oh this is good.”
Lando’s knees are starting to hurt. Maybe he should ask Max for a little carpet, maybe one of the decorative pillows he knows they have in the back.
“I think I recognise you. You didn’t want Lando’s boss to give him a raise.”
Lando inhales sharply. Oscar sounds accusatory. Lando’s heart melts a little: Oscar is defending him.
Wait.
Oscar knows his name.
Max leans against the counter and laughs. “Just a bit of fun between friends.”
“You’re friends with Lando?” Oscar asks, raising an eyebrow.
Max shrugs. “I am his boss.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
The pit in Lando’s stomach drops.
“He works here?”
“Sometimes.”
“You should give him a raise.”
Oh. Oh. Oh. Lando can feel the stupid grin on his face. He can also see the way Max is trying to keep himself composed.
“You haven’t even seen him work,” Max jests.
Lando goes to the ankles.
Max kicks him away without even looking down. “He’ll be in tomorrow if you want to make a third party performance assessment.”
Oscar hums. A chair gets pushed back. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“Of course. Come back anytime.”
The bell rings. The door creaks.
“He’s gone.”
Lando hops up immediately. “I owe you my life Hulk.”
The German raises his cup. “Looked like you could use the help, kid.”
He then turns to Max, first finger pointed at his face. “And you: are the worst boss ever.”
“What did I do?”
Lando tries to come up with something to say, but there’s nothing that doesn’t make him sound extremely down bad, so he just ends up crumpling and grumbling, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Did you at least know his name already?”
Lando gasps. “Yes, Max! Of course I know his name. It’s Oscar Jack Piastri.”
“I didn’t need to know.”
“I hate you.” He steals a blueberry tart from the display case. “You invited him back tomorrow! And told him I’d be here!”
“But you will be. Are you going to pay for that?”
“He lied and said you weren’t here,” Nico added, tossing his own cup in the can. “Bye guys, see you tomorrow.”
“Bye Nico!”
“Don’t be siding with Max! And no, obviously I am not paying for this.”
Music's on the move, taking over you here right now
Lose control some more, drop it low 'til you're on the ground (Hey!)
Rhythm's rocking, but there's no stopping us, give and take
Once you let it go, no more going slow, watch me
Being friends with the son of the guy who owns Sainz has its perks. Beyond being a great friend—who doesn’t bully Lando for his big, fat, obvious crush (unlike some people)—Carlos also gets him a DJ spot on a slow night at the bar.
He’s invited all of his co-workers to his first show obviously. You know, maybe Lando needs more than four friends.
Liam invites Oscar and Logan. Max and Daniel in the DJ’s booth with him is the only reason he’s still got his head on straight.
Make your heart go boom, ba-ba-boom
The bell above the front door rings.
Oscar walks in, and like clockwork, Lando’s brain cells melt out of his brain.
It’s a fight to input the order for Oscar’s morning coffee run into the console: a plain black coffee with a double shot of espresso, a double double, and a large dark roast with count ‘em twelve sugars.
Make your heart go boom, ba-ba-boom
The worst part is that, when confronted with his crush, Lando doesn’t freeze like a normal person.
He starts talking, bladding, waffling on about anything and everything. And Oscar just sits there and listens! He doesn’t cut him off. Doesn’t save him from himself.
Lando will be going on about something, and tripping over all of his words. Then he’ll get embarrassed, and he’ll look at Oscar to see if he’s cringing at the trainwreck that is Lando.
Once you're in the room, ra-ra-room
But he just stands there, all pretty, and nods at him like he should continue.
So he does.
Oh god, Lando is so useless.
Get you on the move, ma-ma-move
But it’s okay, but Oscar is also a bit useless when the Aussie tries to talk.
He shutters all over his words, says uhm every half a sentence, and can’t look Lando in the eye. It’s so fucking cute, and makes Lando fall in love with him a little more. Oscar just talks short, and that’s okay.
He’s clearly talking enough for the both of them.
Jesus Christ, can he shut up?
Make your heart go
“Order up for Oscar!”
Spare parts, repair hearts, I'll rev up and then
Suddenly Oscar is leaving, and Lando is just standing there behind the register. Daniel is standing behind the second register, dealing with a line of customers. There is no one in Lando’s line.
He flops into his arms with a groan. “Can you save me from myself sooner? Please?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Max throws over his shoulder.
“Worst boss ever.”
“Coffee takes time to make.”
Lando glares at him. He looks pointedly at Daniel’s line, at the cafe’s seating area which is suddenly a lot more full than it was when Oscar came in. “Just start making it when he walks in, it’s the same order every time.”
“But then you’ll have less Oscar time.”
He cries out. “How are you making fun of me, and trying to do something nice for me in the same breath? I’m so pathetic.”
“Only a little. He is too.”
“Don’t call Oscar pathetic!”
“Do you see what I am saying Daniel? They are so down bad for each other.”
“I see it.”
The smoke trails and bombshells will blast through again
It’s years later, and Lando is a graduate and still working at The Lion’s Den.
For working customer service he makes good money. Fifty an hour, which is a lot he realises, but if The Lion’s Den was a front, he’d have certainly realised that by now. Plus, he likes it here: sue him. And sometimes, he even gets employee perks.
Lando is late to work, it doesn’t happen often, but it’s a common enough occurrence that Max doesn’t send him a million text messages asking where the hell he is.
The first customers are already getting their coffee, as Max bounces between the register and the machine. “Oh, Lando. I have something for you.” He pulls two folded pieces of paper from his pocket. “VIP tickets to the Leclerc concert, give one to Oscar will you?”
“Oscar?” he asks, brain still turning ‘Leclerc tickets’ over in his mind. Max had gotten them all tickets last year as well when the concert had come to town. “What about Liam? And I thought you promised to get Logan a ticket next ti–You gave both of those to Liam before he left this morning because you are an asshole.”
“Yes, yes. ‘Worst boss ever.’ I know.”
A bass dropper, a showstopper, the roof's rigged to blow
The Leclerc concert isn’t the first not-date-because-it’s-a-group-thing Lando has asked Oscar to come to. But this time it kinda feels like he’s asking Oscar on a date.
Daniel is out. Thank god, because that means he misses the trainwreck that is Lando trying to talk to Oscar like a morning person at eight in the morning, but it also means that this is holding up the entire line.
Lando can be a little embarrassed that Max had to buy a whole second register back when he was still in uni, specifically so that The Dutchman could do double duty with taking orders, and making coffee while Lando is talking to Oscar. The fact he still needs to use it regularly is a problem, Lando can admit.
“ Why is he still babbling? What is he even babbling about? He has two tickets to the Leclerc concert! Please ,” he begs his mouth.
Oscar eventually leaves with the three coffees and his ticket.
Over the course of the next few minutes, the entire line that had gotten held up tip him a collective 81.04.
It's all collateral, doesn't matter, so go and lose control
Lando is on Twitter when he finds a picture of young Leclerc, young Pierre Gasly, and some blond kid. A blond kid OP is claiming to be Emilian, the guy who co-wrote all of Leclerc’s first songs; Leclerc’s ex.
Lando has seen this picture before. It’s framed in the back office.
“Why did you break up with him?”
“He broke up with me.”
“Oh.”
“I do not mind that everybody thinks I broke his heart. It makes for a better story, don’t you think?”
If Max was getting writing royalties, then that would explain how he can afford Lando’s quite frankly ridiculous hourly wage for working customer service.
You want it bad, you want it more
You want it loud, let's hit the floor
Daniel, Lando, Liam, Oscar, and Logan are at the Leclerc concert.
It’s electric. It’s breath-taking. It’s magical. It’s even better than last year’s concert.
Also, Daniel is a dick because he doesn’t save Lando from himself. Daniel has the gaul to stand between Oscar and Logan. Lando isn’t worried about Oscar and Logan’s relationship, he’s had too many people tell him to get over himself and ask Mr. Heart-Eyes out, because he’d say yes in an instant. Lando would have appreciated Daniel on his other side, so that he could have a little back up.
Leclerc does save Lando, because all five of them get swept up in the show.
Max got them floor tickets. Max is the best.
Don’t tell the Dutchman he said that.
Lando gets a high five from Leclerc when he comes downstage.
You know, we bring the fight (The fight that we bring, the fight that we)
You know, we go all night (Come on, fight, and we, come on, fight, and we)
Not only floor tickets: VIP tickets.
They hustle into the line of people who paid extra to get a picture and something signed by Leclerc, still high on the show.
Lando kind of forgets about the whole ‘Max is Emilian’ thing until Liam is making a comment to Leclerc about their great boss who got them all tickets, just because!
Leclerc smiles kindly. “Which one of you is the boss?”
Daniel laughs, “Me I guess, but I don’t like being called back. Actually it was the other boss, but he’s not here. Not really a concert guy.”
Based on how Max acts at Lando’s DJing sets, that's a lie. It makes Lando die inside a little, because he knows exactly why Max isn’t here. Or at least the things he does, they haven’t actually really talked about the whole ‘Max is Emilian’ thing.
Music's on the move, taking over you here right now
Lose control some more, drop it low 'til you're on the ground (Wooh-ooh!)
After the show, the five of them stumble their way down the street. There’s a crowd of them leaving the venu, arms around each other’s shoulders, singing encores.
Lando’s stomach rumbles. “I think I need food,” he shouts at his friends.
“Me too! Do you think Sainz is still open? I would kill for chicken wings.”
“I think so! Daniel?”
“Nah. Liam and I have an early morning.”
“Ugh. Can I just stay up?”
“No.” Daniel ruffles his hair. “You have a day job after we’re done.”
Rhythm's rocking, but there's no stopping us, give and take
And suddenly Lando and Oscar are alone.
Dickheads.
Daniel knew exactly what he was doing.
They don’t make it to Sainz. Instead they turn out to the pier.
The stars are visible in the distance.
The waves tumble over the beach.
Once you let it go, no more going slow, watch me
Make your heart go boom, ba-ba-boom
Make your heart go boom, ba-ba-boom
Once you're in the room, ra-ra-room
Get you on the move, ma-ma-move
Oscar kisses Lando first.
Make your heart go boom (Hey, hey, hey), ba-ba-boom (Hey, yeah, go)
The bell over the door rings when Oscar comes in for his morning coffee.
It’s winter now, the sun is rising later, and it’s golden hour. Or at least the morning’s version of golden hour. The one much less appreciated because everybody is dead, but The Lion’s Den is here to fix that one cup of coffee at a time.
The sunlight makes Oscar really pretty. It filters through his hair really nicely, gives him a little halo effect.
Oscar being pretty makes his brain shut off.
‘So you always think Oscar is pretty,’ he hears the Max in his head say, because Max is an asshole, even in his head. ‘How are you worse now that you’re together? ’
Make your heart go boom (Hey, hey, hey), ba-ba-boom (Hey, go, come on)
“The usual?”
“The usual.” Oscar is already pulling out his card.
A plain black coffee with a double shot of espresso, a double double, and a large dark roast with count ‘em twelve sugars.
He sends it over to Max’s screen without looking away from his boyfriend’s eyes, and then he leans forward on the counter. “Anything interesting happening at work today?”
“Not really. Actually, afterwork we have a team event: PowerPoint night. Basically everybody picks a topic, any topic and they get five minutes—so really up to half an hour—to present it. Valtteri is giving us all scoring cards, like it’s the olympics gymnastics finals or something, and we have to score everybody’s stuff. Which is ridiculous and a little scary, but it’s fine.”
“What is your presentation about?”
“My boyfriend and why he’s the best boyfriend ever.”
Once you're in the room (Hey, hey, hey), ra-ra-room (Hey, go)
Oscar has this way of staring directly at Lando and telling him things with a straight face.
Lando cannot do that. He thinks Oscar has killed him with this one though. He’s not sure he’s still on Earth, with how high Oscar has made his heart flutter. He’s so in love. He’s so touched. Oscar is going to gush about him for half an hour at a work event.
Max is right. They are terrible.
Get you on the move (Hey, hey, hey), ma-ma-move (Hey, go)
Lando looks over to see if Max is done with those coffees, and mother fucker is leaning on the counter, chewing on his pen cap, notebook open in front of him, watching the two of them, with Oscar’s three coffees and a scone waiting innocently in a tray.
Worst. Boss. Ever.
Make your heart go