Archive of Our Own ^beta

Maddie looks at Buck, who’s a picture of disarray. His hands are in his hair, his curls messed up. She hates seeing him like this.

“I dunno, Maddie, it's just. It's driving me insane. It's been 4 months! Does Eddie plan on just letting Chris stay in Texas forever?” Buck complains. 

The thing is, Maddie never realized how close to Chris Buck was. Eddie, sure, she kind of knew — This is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest. But Buck had taken Chris’ leaving hard, really hard. Much harder than you would if it was just your best friend’s kid. 

“Have you talked to him about this?” Maddie asks gently.

“Of course I have,” Buck groans. “He just won't listen. I mean, he barely wants to talk about Chris! I've been telling him we should just drive up there, because- I mean, Chris shouldn't be staying with Eddie’s parents, Maddie. He really shouldn't.”

“Buck…” Maddie starts, then pauses. At Buck's enquiring glance, she sighs. “Have you considered that just because our relationship with our parents is so messy doesn't mean it's the same for Eddie and his parents?’

Buck laughs like the very thought of it is ridiculous. “No, no, it definitely is. I mean, there's a reason Chris won't go to them if something ever happens to Eddie. Which is why it's all the more stupid that he's letting them take him when he's still alive!” 

Maddie winces sympathetically. Single parent, and you can't rely on your own parents for support? That must be difficult. “So who does Chris go to, then? He, uh, he has sisters, right?” Maddie vaguely remembers something along those lines. Vaguely. 

To her surprise, Buck blushes and ducks his head. 

“Buck?” She asks. 

“He, uh… he goes to me.”

It takes a second for Maddie to wrap her head around the idea. “Oh,” she finally says. “When… when did this happen?”

Buck rubs at the back of his neck. “Do you remember when a well collapsed and trapped Eddie?”

Maddie nods.

“Yeah.”

He cannot actually be serious.

“But that was- that was years ago. The two of you had known each other for, what, two years? Three?” She can't imagine leaving Jee-Yun to a coworker she's known for such little time.

Buck shrugs. “Guess he trusted me, even then.”

It's not that she doesn't think Buck's a good choice. Hell, Buck's her choice for Jee-Yun, should it come to that. 

But that's also why she knows how much trust is necessary to make a decision like that. Sure, Buck and Eddie trust each other on the job, but… Your kid is like- like your heart, your life. More than, even, because she'd give up hers in a second to protect Jee. 

She thinks of Buck with the whole Tommy fiasco. Of Buck telling her he had feelings for Tommy when she knows damn well he's just spent the past couple of weeks vying for Eddie's attention. She'd known then that he was in love with Eddie, and it only proved her point when he was barely broken up about the fact that things with Tommy didn't progress past the first date.  

But there's being in love and then there's… this. Because Eddie is Buck's person and apparently the same is true in reverse. 

“You know… at least when I'm married to someone, I'm married to them,” Maddie says pointedly. 

Buck rolls his eyes, but the pink of his cheeks give him away. 

After talking to Maddie, who seemed determined to prove all the ways Buck and Eddie’s connection was beyond that of normal, regular best friends, Buck gives in.

Sure. Okay. Buck was too involved, too integrated into the Diaz family. He knew Hen and Chimney weren’t like this, and neither were Maddie and Josh. But Buck and Eddie were like this, had always been like this. It was Eddie’s fault just as much as it was Buck’s. 

The acknowledgement that they’d always been too close did nothing to encourage Buck pulling away; if anything, it strengthened his resolve to interfere. It’s how things had always been. Why should that change now? 

“Okay,” Buck says decisively, slamming the door to the Diaz home open. “Okay. This has gone on long enough, Eddie.”

Eddie looks up from where he's been… moping on the couch, probably.

“What has?”

“Chris has to come home.” Buck is past asking. He has asked, and asked, and asked to no avail. He's stating a fact now. 

Eddie's face immediately shutters. “That's not up to me, Buck.”

“No,” Buck says, index finger up and pointing. “No, it is up to you, because in case you've forgotten, you're his dad. ” Buck is trying to stay cool, trying to keep calm, but he's sick of this. He misses Chris like crazy, and hates how Chris has walled him out along with Eddie. He hates how Eddie hurt Chris, and he hates how Chris is hurting Eddie, and he hates how Eddie is just lying there and taking it. 

Most of all, he hates Eddie's parents. They refuse to encourage Chris to open a line of communication, all but shutting Eddie out of his life entirely, and- 

And Buck has had enough.

Eddie sighs and gets up, wandering off for- a beer, maybe, or water. Something to give himself an excuse to walk away. Buck follows, because of course he does. He always will.

“What do you want me to do, Buck? Drag him back kicking and screaming? Lock him up in a tower? If he needs his space-”

“It's been four fucking months,” Buck cuts Eddie off. He's heard this speech before. It's not going to get more convincing the fiftieth time around. “Sure, he needs his independence, and to be able to make choices, but he also needs his parent .” Buck pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Look, I get it, okay? You messed up. But you can't keep letting that guilt blind you, and you're not going to fix things by letting Chris take the reins. He's still a child, Eddie.”

Eddie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Leans against the kitchen counter, arms crossed. “I don't want to be so desperate to have him close that I end up pushing him away.”

“Right, well, take it from me. I'd rather have a dad that was a bit too involved than a dad that wasn't.”

Eddie clenches his jaw. When he looks at Buck again, his eyes are lit up with anger.

“Butt out, Buck. You're not his dad.” 

The thing is, had this been anyone else? Buck would have tucked tail and left. Eddie's right. Buck isn't Chris’ dad. But he is Chris’ something . He's been a part of this family far too long to let Eddie's anger push him away. 

How dare Eddie try and pretend otherwise?

“You don't get to say that,” Buck replies harshly. “You don't get to come to me and tell me you put me in your will, and that you did it because you knew I'd fight your parents for Chris, and then get mad that I want to fight your parents for Chris.” Buck knows how to get angry too. Buck can fight too.

Eddie scrubs a hand over his face. “You-” he starts, before seemingly thinking better of it. Then, to Buck's surprise, he slumps. Gives in. 

“You're- you're right.” 

It’s a surprise, but it tells Buck all he needs to know. This is the decision that Eddie wants to make too. He’s just scared. 

Buck is happy to burden the blame. 

“Let's talk to him, Eddie,” Buck pleads. “Let's bring him home.”

They’re close enough that when Eddie leans his head forward, it rests against the crook of Buck’s neck. Buck immediately pulls him closer, holding his weight up. 

“I miss him,” Eddie admits, voice wavering. Buck blinks hard in the hopes that he won’t tear up. He isn't sure how well he succeeds.

“Yeah. Yeah, me too.” 

“Let’s bring him home.” 

They decide to take a week off of work and just… show up. Okay, Buck decides they should just show up, and he’s just dragging Eddie along for the ride, but hey. If Ramon and Helena can do it, so can they. 

“Are you sure about this?” Bobby asks for the fifth time. Eddie rolls his eyes. 

“Yes, Bobby.” 

“You’re allowed to choose how to handle your kid, Eddie. Even if everyone disagrees with how you go about it.” 

Eddie shoots Bobby an unimpressed look. “What I’m hearing is that everyone disagrees, then?” 

“That’s not what I mean.”

Eddie gets the concern, he does. Everyone else thinks Buck’s being too pushy, too involved. And maybe he is. Sometimes it pisses Eddie off, but most of the time? He’s just glad that he has someone to be pissed off at. Glad he doesn’t feel like a single parent, hasn’t felt like one in years. 

“Look, to be honest? I would never have made this decision myself. And the longer this goes on, the more likely it is that Chris is fully integrated into life in Texas and my parents get to keep him like they always wanted.” 

Bobby looks at him carefully. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” he says, but it isn’t a threat. More… friendly caution. 

Eddie smiles a little. “I won’t hurt your kid, Bobby. And he won’t hurt mine. Sign the damn leave request.”

Helena Diaz opens the door. “Eddie!” She says in a high pitched voice that suggests she’s surprised, and not in the good way, but doesn’t want to be impolite where the neighbors could observe them. “And… Buck, yes?” 

Ouch. Buck knows this facade of unfamiliarity is just that — a facade. Eddie and Chris talk about him more than enough for him to know who he is. 

Eddie seems to have frozen up entirely, so Buck smoothly takes the lead. “Hi, Helena,” he says in that same polite-but-cold tone. “We’re here to see Chris.” 

“I wasn’t aware you were coming.” Helena directs this at Eddie, completely ignoring Buck’s presence. That seems to kick Eddie back into action. 

"Well, I suppose I’m just returning the favor. Can we come in?” 

Helena steps aside reluctantly. Eddie walks in and, after a moment’s hesitation, Buck follows. 

Buck’s bullheadedness is solely being powered by the love he has for his Diaz boys. The atmosphere here, the reception with which he’s treated… It reminds him too much of being back at his parents house. The same sensation of being unwanted, imposing. 

It's… kind of messing Buck up more than he expected. But then Eddie is stepping closer and murmuring a soft “you okay?” into his ear and, yeah. He's doing this for them. Eddie and Chris. He'd do anything for them, suffer much worse fates than a tense atmosphere. 

Buck nods.

“Christopher? Christopher!” Helena calls out. “Your dad's here! And your… your dad's co-worker!” 

She turns to them with a terse smile. “Sorry, those teenage years, you know. You should have told me you were coming, Eddie, Ramon is out at the hardware store. We're building a bookcase for Chris.”

God, what she's doing is so obvious. Making them feel like the guests, like the outsiders. Like Chris belongs here instead of in LA with his dad. 

Before he can say anything, he hears the telltale sound of crutches. 

“Dad? Buck?” Christopher asks, and for a moment, he looks vulnerable. Then his eyes meet Helena's look of disdain and his expression shutters off. “What are you doing here?” He asks coldly. 

“We're here to take you home, mijo,” Eddie says softly. 

And Christopher- Christopher scoffs. “Yeah. No thanks.”

Buck tenses. This has gone on too long.

“Is there somewhere we can talk in private?” He asks Helena. 

“...Chris’ room, I suppose. He can take you there.”

“I have nothing to talk about!” Chris argues. 

“Chris.” Buck has never been this firm with Chris, never used this tone. “You can talk to your father alone, or you can talk to the both of us together, but you will be talking to him. You're family, and if we- you want to fix things, you'll have to actually work past them.” 

“We're family,” Eddie says, and he glances at Buck out of the side of his eyes as he does. “And we love you. We want you home.”

Chris tenses. Then, he sighs. “Fine.

“Show us where you've been staying.” Buck is pointed about not calling it Chris’ room; Chris’ room is in LA. 

Chris leads them there in silence. 

It's a nice room. Too nice, too… Chris. Like he's meant to stay. 

Eddie sits on the bed, which means Chris takes the fancy gaming chair. Buck hovers. 

“The two of you should talk, first,” Buck suggests. He'll stay of Chris asks him to, act as buffer, but… the idea that Eddie needs a buffer with his own son hurts.

Chris doesn't respond to Buck's suggestion. “Why did the two of you come here?” He asks instead. 

Well. That's easy enough to answer. “Because we miss you,” Buck states simply. 

Chris nods, swallows. He's still a kid that loves his father, that misses him. That's a lot harder to hide when they're not talking through a screen. 

“Then why… why didn't you come before?” 

“Chris,” Eddie says softly, leaning forward. “I missed you all the time. Every single second of every single day. The only reason I didn't push earlier, the only reason, is because I wanted you to have a say in this too.”

“And I don't get a say anymore?” 

“You do,” Eddie promises. “You definitely do. But maybe you get a say when… closer to home, yeah? Because I- this isn't the life I wanted for you, Chris. I love your grandparents, but we both know love isn't enough. And it's- I’m not trying to say they're bad people, but…” Eddie glances at Buck before looking back at Chris. “They are… bad parents. Or they were, to me at least. I know I- I know I mess up too, have messed up, but I hope I can do at least marginally better than they do. I just- I miss you, kid. I miss you so, so much.” 

Chris bites his lip for a second. Then he looks at Buck nervously. “Can I talk to dad alone?” 

Buck breathes a sigh of relief, smiles warmly at Chris. “Of course you can. I'll be just out, okay? Call me if you need anything.” 

It's not that Buck doesn't want to stay; it's that if Chris asked him to stay, it would mean he thought he needed a buffer to talk to Eddie. That's an idea that hurts more than being sent away ever could. 

He's never been happier about being asked to leave. 

Eddie waits until the door closes behind Buck. 

“Why did you do it, Dad? Do you even have a reason?” 

Eddie closes his eyes briefly, quells the hurt that wells up and the tone his own son is directing at him. “I have a reason,” Eddie promises. “It's not a good one, because nothing will ever make up for hurting you in this way. But I have a reason.”

Eddie scratches at his jaw, unsure of how to start the conversation. 

“Did your grandparents tell you this room used to be mine?” Eddie asks. 

“Dad-” 

“I have a point, I promise,” Eddie says. “I just have something I want to show you.”

Chris nods. “Okay. Yeah, th- they told me.” 

Before Eddie had moved out, his parents had asked him to clean out the space so they could repurpose it into a spare room. Any keepsakes Eddie planned on leaving behind were relegated to a little cabinet. There wasn't much Eddie kept but didn't carry with him, but there should be…

“There we go!” Hidden in the back of the cabinet, a notebook. This had been too painful to carry, and Eddie had left it behind knowing that it would only distract himself from what he had to do as a father. 

“Are you showing me your diary?” Chris asks, sounding genuinely curious.

Eddie huffs out a laugh. “No, I was never much of a diary sorta guy. No, this is…” Eddie sits on the bed, pats the space next to him. “Come here and I'll show you.

Surprisingly, Chris does. He sighs dramatically about it, but Eddie will take his small wins where he gets them. 

He flips open the notebook. Tucked in the middle of it is a photograph of him, Shannon, and four other people. 

Eddie runs his finger over his own face. He looks so much younger; he had forgotten he'd ever been that young.

“This was here,” Eddie explains. “In the backyard. My 18th birthday.”

“There's no decorations,” Chris points out, and Eddie shrugs.

“My parents weren't as big on celebrations then as they seem to be now. It's okay, though, I had my friends with me. I had fun. Here, this is your mom.” Eddie had his left arm around her shoulders.

“She's pretty,” Chris mumbles. “Dad, is there a point to this, or-”

“There's a point, Chris, I promise there is. Just… give me five minutes, okay? Let me explain.”

It hurts that Eddie has to convince his own son to listen to him. If Chris hadn't nodded a silent yes to his request, he might have really broken down. 

“Okay, so. This is your mom. This is Rowan, up here. He's a lot like your uncle Chimney. Witty, always quick with a response. Next to him is Josephina, and this is Joseph. Jo and Joe. Twins.” Eddie laughs. “Their parents weren't very creative. And this…” 

Eddie slowly trails his finger down to the man under his right arm, the man Eddie is smiling wide pink-cheeked at. “This is…” Eddie clears his throat. “Um, this is Alex. He was my- your mom and I were best friends, but Alex and I were more like…”

“Like brothers?” Chris suggests, and Eddie shakes his head. 

“Not at all. More like… Like Buck and I, I suppose.”

Chris snorts. “So, like, attached at the hip?” And it's such a normal teenage Chris comment that Eddie nearly cries from relief.

“Basically.”

“How come I never met him, then?” 

Eddie sighs. “We had a fight. The day after I got the copies of my birthday photo, actually. Alex saw this photo and… he kissed me. Told me he'd been hoping, that this photo proved to him-”

It's harder to talk about Alex than he'd expected. Eddie knew it would be hard, but he hadn't realized it would be this hard. “I, uh, I pushed him away. Asked him how he could do that, how he could jeopardize our friendship like that. I was so, so, angry. It wasn't homophobia, not… not quite. I just felt… betrayed.”

Chris’ eyes widen in something like understanding. 

Eddie runs his hand through his hair. “I've been talking to my therapist, and I think… I think I was so angry because it was like Alex was showing me this thing I wanted so bad, but that I thought I shouldn't want. Chris, I've tried so hard to make sure you weren't raised with these ideas, but when I was a kid…”

“Yeah,” Chris agrees softly. Gently. “People are really homophobic here. I don't understand it at all, but Abuela and Abuelo will sometimes talk about someone that's gay or trans or whatever and… Yeah, it's so weird.”

Eddie is so, so, happy that Chris has been so insulated from homophobia and transphobia that the idea is weird to him. Even if he's succeeded in nothing else as a father, he's succeeded at this.

“Whatever it's like now, I promise you it was worse then. Alex was so, so brave. He really… he knew himself, you know? And that's what I admired about him. But I… I couldn't. I was so scared, and I couldn't accept that part of myself. I tucked the photo away and pretended it never happened. I couldn’t bear to destroy it, but I couldn’t bear to look at it again either. A couple of months later, and… I had convinced myself that I was in love with your mom. Then she got pregnant and, well, you know the story from there.” 

Eddie lets the news sit, lets Chris take it in. God knows he took weeks to wrap his head around the idea.

“Okay.” Chris says after a few minutes. “So you're… gay?”

“Yeah. And I think I was trying to run away from that, and I- I missed Shannon, but I also regretted so much. Not you, never you, but… that I was never a good husband to her, that I never loved her the way I should have. I loved her, Chris, I really did. Just… not in the way I thought I did.”

Another period of silence. Eddie feels like he's standing at the edge of a cliff, waiting to see which way he'll fall.

“How… how did you not know?” Chris asks. “I mean, after you moved to L.A.? Everyone's gay in LA.” 

Eddie laughs. “Yeah, I guess… It's not like I didn't know being gay was a thing. I accepted it with other people, but I struggled to… It didn't fit with the idea of me in my head, you know? I'd been raised to believe I was this particular person and… I guess the longer it took me to accept it, the harder I was. I couldn't help thinking- well, that if I was, I should have known by then.” 

Chris nods. “And then Buck came out.”

Eddie smiles wryly. Of course his kid got it immediately. “Yeah. And then Buck came out. And he talked about feeling those same emotions with me, a little, and… I guess it cracked open that door for me.” 

Another silence. Chris picks at a loose thread at the hem of his shirt in a move so painfully Buck it hurts.

“Dad?” Chris asks.

“Yeah?”

“You said… Alex was like Buck. Does that mean… Is Buck like Alex? To you?”

“That's-” Eddie sighs. “I- I don't know, Chris. Maybe. I mean-” 

No. No lies. He wants to be honest with his son. “I think he is,” Eddie admits. “But that's not something I'd ever pursue without talking with you first.”

Chris nods. He looks like he wants to argue, but he studies Eddie’s face and sighs instead. “When I was younger, I used to think- I remember wondering why you wouldn't just date Buck instead. I mean, he would be in our kitchen, cooking us food, and I used to wonder what made it any different from, like, Auntie Hen and Auntie Karen. So I- I guess I get it. And it's not like… sometimes I think about Buck getting, like, another family a wife or husband and kids and… Whatever. If I say okay… you just… you can't fuck it up with him, okay? If you do… You can't mess it up.”

To be seen by his son in a way he hasn't let anyone else in his life see him, and to then be accepted… Eddie can't help the tears that slip out. 

He swallows, wipes a hand down his face. Tries to compose himself. Except he makes the mistake of looking at Chris, this wonderful son he's managed to raise and- 

Eddie sobs, well and truly. 

“Aw, Dad,” Chris murmurs, wrapping his arms around Eddie. 

“I'm so- so sorry, Chris, I promise you I never meant to hurt you. And I'm so, so, proud of you, of who you've grown to be. I love you so, so much.” 

“I love you too, Dad,” Chris says wetly, and Eddie pulls back ever so slightly to press a kiss against Chris’ forehead before pulling him back into a hug. 

Eddie feels the relief of holding his son break down every last one of his barriers, and he lets it. He lets it. 

“Buck,” Helena says pleasantly. “Can I make you some tea, coffee, anything?” 

Buck hates her. He shouldn’t, not this intensely, but he does. “I’m fine,” he says tersely. He’d go for a walk just to get out but he wants to make sure he’s here if Chris or Eddie need him. If that means he has to take the seat Helena’s gesturing at and play house, so be it. 

“It’s good to see them talking,” Helena says. Why does she feel the need to have a conversation? Can they not just sit in silence?

“Yeah,” Buck says noncommittal, hoping that’ll be the end of it. 

It’s not. 

“I’m just… worried, you know? Chris is… He needs stability.”

Buck sets his jaw. “ Every kid needs stability,” he says. Not loud, but firm. “Eddie needed stability too.” 

Helena goes quiet, but her eyes are anything but. 

Buck snorts. “I can- you know, I can make a guess as to what you’re thinking. Why does this guy, this co-worker of Eddie’s think he has the right to talk about a childhood he wasn’t around for, right?” 

Helena hums. “Well, if you already know everything, I suppose I don’t have to tell you.” 

“It’s just- when you came to get Christopher, did you even… I know he told you the full story, about how Kim showed up dressed like Shannon after Eddie broke it off. Did you even stop to check whether he was okay? Whether that hadn’t messed him up too?” 

“Eddie is a grown adult. He’s-”

“Also your child,” Buck says. “And I… I just don’t know how you don’t see how hard he’s trying, and also how much he’s succeeding. I just… did you ever give Eddie the chance to be a kid? And is this whole thing, trying to keep Christopher… is it even about Christopher? Or are you just trying to have a redo of Eddie?” 

Helena goes quiet. 

When she gets up and leaves with a murmured excuse about watering the plants, Buck doesn’t blame her.

When Eddie walks out the room, Buck is sitting alone in the living room. It’s… odd, seeing Buck in his childhood home. Like two worlds not meant to meet.

“Hey, Buck.” 

Buck jumps up immediately. “Hey, woah, hey, are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You look like you’ve been crying, man.” 

Eddie smiles. “Yeah. Yeah, and I- I think I needed it. I think Chris needed it, you know? To see his dad’s just… a person.”

“So the talk went… well?” Buck asks cautiously. 

Eddie nods. “Yeah, Buck. He wants to talk to you, too, but I think… Yeah. I think he’s coming home.” 

Eddie sees the way Buck shudders with relief, sees it spread right down his fingers and toes. And isn’t that something? Buck, missing Christopher like that, loving Christopher like that. 

“So, he uh, he wants to talk to me too?” 

Eddie tilts his head towards the hallway. “Feels a little like being summoned to the principal’s office, doesn’t it?” 

Buck laughs. “Well, now that you say it…” He moves in the direction of the hallway. 

The second he’s within reach, Eddie moves to pull Buck into a hug. He’s not sure if he planned to, but now that he’s here…

He grips the back of Buck’s shirt, wrinkling the fabric. Buck’s hands hover over his back for a few moments before they come to rest around Eddie, and he squeezes back just as hard. 

“Thank you,” Eddie breathes. “For always being there.”

“Always,” Buck repeats, and it feels like a promise. No- it feels like a vow. 

“Hey, Chris.” 

“Buck,” Chris murmurs, looking up. 

The top of his hair is flat and wet. Buck laughs and ruffles it. “Your dad did a number on you, huh?” 

“What? Oh, ew,” Chris complains, pushing Buck’s hand away to run his own hands through it. 

Buck sits down next to Christopher. “Did the two of you have a good talk?” 

“Yeah. And he said… he said we should talk too. Maybe you’re mad. I’m mad.”

Buck never thought he’d be happy to hear Chris say he was mad at him, but at least they were talking now.

“Yeah, I was… I was mad,” Buck says. “Not at you, exactly, but… You were gone and your dad was suffering and it just sucked all around.”

Except that wasn’t the whole truth, was it? Helena might think Chris needs stability, but what he really needs is to be let in. Both he and Eddie have suffered with the effects of parents refusing to admit to hurt and weakness. Chris needs to see Buck’s a person too.

“A little mad at you too, though,” Buck admits. “It- I won’t lie, Chris, it hurt. I thought we had our own relationship- no, I know we have our own relationship, outside of your dad. So when you refused to text me back, call me, anything at all…” Buck swallows a lump in his throat. “I missed you, kid.”

“I- I missed you too. But you and dad are like.” Chris holds up crossed fingers in a move so Buck it makes his heart clench. “If I talk to you, then I'm talking to dad. And…” 

Buck can tell Chris has something he's holding back. “It's okay,” Buck promises. “Whatever it is. Not talking about things is exactly how we ended up in this situation.” 

“You knew about Kim,” Chris accuses, and Buck watches in horror as tears well in his eyes. Chris looks just as surprised by them as Buck. 

“Oh, Chris, I-” Buck’s heart breaks for him, for all the suffering Chris shouldn’t have had to deal with. “I knew,” he confirms, “but maybe a week before you found out. She came to the station, and I went to Eddie immediately. We talked, and he told me he'd end things with her- he did end things with her. Told her she looked like your mom. A week later she's showing up uninvited with a new hairstyle, and well. You know the rest.” 

“Just one week?” Chris asks hesitantly. 

“Just one week,” Buck promises.

“I'm sorry I left for so long, Buck,” Chris murmurs. “I was just so- so angry. And I know you've always said how amazing it is that I'm always- always happy, but-”

“Hey, no, no,” Buck bends so he can meet Chris’ eyes. “Look at me. I am, and forever will be, in awe of the kid that could laugh through a tsunami. I love the little kid that I thought I was the coolest person around. But Chris…”

Buck places a hand on Chris’ shoulder.

“Getting to see you grow, and mature, and think ? To see you become your own person? That's the best part. Even if the person you're becoming is a teenager that calls me rizzless.”

Chris laughs wetly. “Even if that means I run away from home?”

“Hey, that's not a new thing,” Buck teases. “I remember you showing up on my doorstep that one time. But yes that includes you getting mad, and sad, and- and all of it. Watching you make mistakes, watching you learn from them.”

If Buck does nothing else in his life, he'd still die a happy man thanks to the pride he feels at having even the slightest influence on how this amazing kid turns out. He hopes Chris can see that.

“Okay,” Chris accepts, and he wraps his arms around Buck's neck. Buck hugs him back, pressing his lips to Chris’ head.

“I love you. I'm so proud of you, Chris,” Buck murmurs.

Apparently, that's a bit much, because Chris pulls away and kicks Buck's shin lightly. 

“Changed my mind,” Buck grumbles. “Go back to being 7 years old.”

Chris laughs. “You just miss being able to win against me in video games.”

Buck's lips twitch. “Uh, no, I never used to be able to win against you, because you cheat, you little cheater. Now let's go see if we can get your dad to order takeout.”

“You are literally a grown man. With a salary.”

“Still more fun if I can get him to pay for it!”

Eddie paces the living room. He knows he's being insane, but Chris wouldn't change his mind, right? Nah, he's talking to Buck, Buck's great at talking Chris around. But what if-

“Eddie?”

Eddie swings around to see his father in the doorway. “Dad. You, uh, you're home.”

“Your mother called me, but I didn't think you'd be here.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. His father didn't think he'd try and get his son back?

“No, no,” Ramon waves him away. “I meant here in the living room, not here in El Paso. I thought you'd be in his room talking to him. Honestly, I'm surprised it took you this long to come to El Paso.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, uh… Buck's in there with Chris. And he was the one who, you know, pulled my head out of my ass enough to make me realize this isn't just giving Chris space anymore, it's missing out.”

Ramon shifts. They stare awkwardly at each other. 

“Where, uh, where's mom?” Eddie asks.

“She was quite… agitated, when she called me. I convinced her to visit her friend Cassandra. I figured you could use some time with your kid.”

Eddie laughs sarcastically. “Wow, how'd you manage to do that? I'd have thought wild bulls couldn't drag her out of here.” 

“Eddie,” Ramon sighs. “It isn't like that. She loves you.” 

“Maybe, but she certainly doesn't try to understand me.” Eddie's jaw tenses. At the look of reproach on his father's face, he forces himself to calm down. “Sorry. I'm not trying to pick a fight. I'm just… Anyway, it doesn't matter. Chris is coming home.”

Eddie wishes he could feel the confidence he portrays in his voice. 

“I'm glad, Eddie. I really am.”

Eddie studies Ramon's face for a hint of insincerity; when he doesn't find any, he gives him a tense nod.

“So, your gringo is here too.”

Eddie's hackles rise. “He's not-”

“No, no, I didn't mean anything bad by it,” Ramon reassures, wrong-footed. “I’m not criticizing… He's good for you. Buck, I mean.”

Eddie blushes. “He's not-” he protests, much softer this time, except Buck kind of is, isn't he?

“Whatever he is to you. I'm glad you have him. That you're not… doing this alone.”

Eddie hears Chris and Buck before they walk into the room. They’re laughing. Not the same light laughter he’s used to hearing from them, there’s an underlying tenseness or awkwardness that’s new, but still… His kid is laughing. 

“Yeah,” Eddie says breathlessly to his father as Buck and Chris enter the room. “Yeah, I’m glad I have him too.”

They stay in El Paso for four days while Chris gets his packing done and Eddie tries not to pick a fight with his parents. His mom and him have some close calls, but they get by mostly thanks to Ramon and Buck’s intervention. His father is… surprisingly helpful. Eddie wasn’t ready to trust it at first, but he seemed to genuinely want to ease things over. 

With Chris, it’s… complicated. Chris is still mad, and Eddie can’t begrudge him for it. The important thing is that he misses Eddie more than he’s mad at him, and he’s willing to try. They both are. They promise to go to therapy together, and it’s a start. They’ll work through this, and they’ll come out stronger for it.

Through all of it, Buck’s there. A stable constant. Ribbing him and trying to get a rise out of him and just…

Well, Chris shoots them a lot of studying looks. He’s taking things slow, though, both for Chris and for himself. His priority at the moment is his relationship with his son; everything else can come later. 

Except all of a sudden it is later, six months since Chris has moved back to L.A., and Chris is sitting him down on the living room couch to ‘talk’. 

“Why do I feel like this is an intervention?” Eddie asks. 

“Because it is,” Chris states. “Dad. We’re okay, right? Like, you and I. And things are fine.” 

“Uh huh…” Eddie narrows his eyes suspiciously. 

“And I’m 14. Which means you have four years to get your shit together before I’m off to college.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I’m actually going to figure out a way to de-age you.” It’s only kind of a joke. Kids grow up way too fast.

Chris rolls his eyes. “You’re only proving my point.” 

“And your point is…?” Eddie raises an eyebrow. 

“That you’re, like, incapable of living alone. So you need to be at the living together stage with Buck before I leave. Which means you need to start getting a move on, like… wooing him or whatever, cause I know the two of you will take forever to actually get to that point.” 

Eddie’s mouth drops open. 

“You cannot actually be surprised,” Chris declares. “Like… We’ve talked about this.” 

“I was emotionally vulnerable! You can’t take advantage of admissions I made at a- a compromised state.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “If I have to spend another year of the two of you staring moonily at each other while he makes breakfast waffles and you remind him of his doctor’s appointment, I might actually run back to Texas. I think I prefer Abuela and Abuelo’s brand of dysfunctional, actually.” 

“Too soon,” Eddie mutters, even though Chris definitely gets his tendency for too-soon jokes from him. 

“Look, I get that you’re trying to be, like… understanding or whatever, but I think I get that you can’t run Buck off that easy. He’s hard to get rid of, even if we wanted to.”

Which… fair. The two of them aren’t very good at staying mad at one another, and Buck’s even worse at staying mad at Chris. 

“Things are good, like you said. Why upset that balance?”

Chris sighs heavily. “Dad. It’s Buck. He actually will not let you mess it up. You cannot be this pressed about asking out the man that willingly watches documentaries for fun.” 

“You watch those with him, actually.” Eddie says peevishly.

“Not the point, actually,” Chris imitates in a high-pitched voice. 

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek. “You’re sure about this?” He asks Chris just to confirm.

“Yes. Please put me out of my misery.” 

“What if-” 

“It’s Buck . He likes you back. Everyone knows. Abuela asked me if the two of you had gotten together yet last week. Not Abuelo. Abuela .”

Eddie considers that. “Huh. Didn’t expect that.” 

“I don’t think she’s happy about it or anything. She just thinks it’s an eventuality. Because it is.” 

Eddie sighs. “Fine. Fine, I’ll do it. Just so you know, I’m going to be insufferable about it, and you’ll have to deal with it because it’s your bright idea, okay? You’re helping me pick the restaurant. And my outfit.” 

Chris smiles, exasperated and fond. “Like you wouldn’t make me do that anyway. But yes, dad. I’ll help you impress Buck. The guy that basically already lives here.” 

Chris is back. Chris has forgiven him, and he’s going to ask Buck out on a date, and Buck’s going to say yes because it’s Buck. They’re going to bicker the whole date, and Buck will pretend to be mad, and Eddie will kiss him to apologize because he can. And Chris will make fun of them but he’ll be smiling when he does it.

He hears a key in the front door, because Chris is right. Buck does basically live here, lets himself in as he pleases. He’s probably not even coming over to do anything other than be annoying.

God, Eddie loves his life.