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May was laying out the knives and forks when the doorbell rang. She heard her mom answer it and invite in their guest, someone who May had specially requested for this dinner.
“May!” Buck exclaimed as he walked in, drawing her into a hug. “It's been forever! How's college life treating you?”
They chattered for a while about her classes and the one annoying professor who'd marked her as absent when she'd barely been thirty seconds late. The smells wafting from the kitchen were divine, and Bobby popped his head out long enough to welcome their guest with a big smile and a comment that he hoped Buck had brought his appetite. Before long, dinner was ready, and May sat down at the table with her family, next to Buck and across from her mom and Bobby.
The food was as good as it smelled. That was nothing unusual for Bobby's cooking, but he'd pulled out all the stops tonight since it wasn't every day that May visited. Particularly recently, with finals drawing closer. They passed the meal with idle conversation, but May’s stomach was twisting and making it harder and harder to enjoy the delicious food as time went on. As they started to wind down, May pushed the last of her peas around her plate.
Her mom, ever keen-eyed, noticed. “Not that I don't love spending time with my little girl, but you were just saying last week that you might not be able to come visit until after finals week. What changed?”
May stared into her plate before looking up with a fixed smile. “Nothing, I just wanted to hang out with you guys.”
She kicked herself mentally. Coward.
“Mm-hm. And why did you insist on Buck being here?”
May glanced sideways at him. “Well, he is family.”
Buck beamed at that. He had a spot of gravy on the corner of his mouth, and May stifled a laugh. Bobby noticed too, and mimed to him with a napkin. It took a moment of furrowed brows before Buck comprehended the silent message, and he fumbled for his own napkin to wipe it away.
May bit the bullet. “Actually, I need his advice about something.”
“Me?” Buck blurted out. “Uh, why? I mean, of course, whatever I can do, but…”
“I thought you'd be the best person to ask,” she admitted.
Her mom and Bobby were looking at her curiously now.
“In fact, there's something I wanted to tell all of you,” she said, emboldened. “It kind of leads into the thing I want to ask Buck about.” She flickered her eyes towards him. “I was hoping you could give me some… dating advice.”
Buck lived up to his name, looking like a startled deer in the headlights.
“And what, you don't trust us old folks when it comes to romance?” her mom asked through the hint of a smile.
“It's not that,” she rushed to explain. “It's just… maybe more of Buck's area of expertise?”
That didn't clear things up for any of them, she knew. She had rehearsed this in the mirror last night, but somehow sitting at this table in front of her mom and stepdad had caused her to forget the entire script.
“Okay,” said Buck slowly. “What kind of advice do you need?”
May could feel her cheeks burning. “Um. Figuring out if I like someone? And maybe… asking them out?”
She was hoping the generic pronoun would go unnoticed, but her mom wasn't a well-respected police sergeant for nothing. And it seemed Bobby had picked up on it too, because the two of them exchanged a knowing look. Damn parents.
Buck didn't react, though. He just leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful tilt to his lips. “Well, why do you think you might like this person?”
“We've been sitting next to each other in psych class all year and we hit it off from day one. I guess with finals coming up, I'm worried that next semester we won't have any reason to hang out anymore. And that kind of freaks me out. Like, way more than it should.” She took a sip of her drink, throat dry at the thought. “And once I started thinking about the whole thing, I couldn't stop. It's like I've opened a can of worms in my brain and I can't put them back.”
“But you're wondering whether you like this person as a friend, or as someone you want to date?” her mom guessed.
May nodded miserably.
“So why me?” Buck asked again.
She bit her lip and glanced at her mom, eyes pleading.
“What's this girl's name?” asked her mom.
Buck’s head swivelled around to stare at her.
“Sierra.”
“Sierra?” echoed Buck. “Monster energy drink, backpack pins, wears a beanie in summer, Sierra? With the freckles?”
Her mom and Bobby looked between the two of them with raised eyebrows. Okay, maaaybe she had mentioned Sierra to Buck once or twice. Or every single time they'd Facetimed over the past year.
“Oh my God,” she muttered, as his words caught up to her. “I told you about her freckles?”
“Months ago. Along with her ‘unbelievably green eyes’,” said Buck, doing a frankly terrible impression of her voice. Although the thought was bittersweet, it occurred to her that in Harry's absence, at least she still had a brother to poke fun at her. “Honestly, I should have sussed it out sooner. I guess my terrible gaydar extends beyond my own sexuality.” He said that last part under his breath, but May still glared at him.
Bobby folded his napkin on his empty plate. “It sounds like you really like this girl. So why don't you give it a try? If it turns out that it's not what you want, you don't have to keep going with it, but at least you'll know one way or another.”
“You don't–” May struggled for the words she wanted, and eventually settled on, “Care?”
Bobby and her mom exchanged a look again. They really had that married couple telepathy down pat, and May found it equally adorable and irritating.
Her mom took this one. “That you like a girl? No, honey. We just want you to be happy and live your best, most authentic life. You weren't worried about what we'd think, were you?”
Logically, of course not. Her dad was gay and her mom's best friend was a lesbian, plus they were sitting down to dinner with a bisexual man. But it was still her mom, and the possibility of being rejected by her, however slim, had kept her up lately for more nights than she cared to admit. So she just shrugged in response to her mom's question.
She felt like she needed to clarify herself. “I mean, I don't know for sure if I like her that way.”
“But you'd like to find out?” Buck prompted.
“Yeah. That's what I was hoping you could help me with. You've been on lots of first dates, right?”
He scratched at his chin and avoided meeting her eyes. “Uh. Yeah. But we’re–we're pretty different. And you're definitely very different to how I was at your age.”
“I’ll clear the table and grab dessert,” said Bobby softly, pushing up out of his chair.
“You were a menace when I met you,” her mom said sternly, but there was a fond look in her eye.
May looked between them questioningly.
“I, uh…” Buck began. “I kind of… slept around a bit?”
Bobby appeared to be holding back a laugh as he took May's plate.
“But you have been on lots of first dates,” she pressed.
“Well, no,” he said, still looking awkward. “I mean, I've been on a few, but… I kind of skipped that stage with a lot of the girls I, uh…”
May tried not to look disappointed, but it didn't seem to work because Buck got a pained look on his face.
“But I can still try and help,” he added hurriedly. “So you want to ask her out on a date?”
Bobby returned with the pie and May gladly took the distraction as she deliberated over whether to have whipped cream or ice cream with her slice. She ultimately decided that she'd earned a treat, and served herself a scoop of ice cream and topped it with a generous tower of whipped cream which immediately began to list sideways.
“Kind of,” she answered, once everyone had started their dessert and she could put off answering no longer. “I want to take her on a date, but I don't want her to know it's a date.”
Bobby and her mom looked up from their desserts, wearing alarmed and chiding expressions respectively.
“Not like that,” she said hurriedly. “I just…”
“Plausible deniability?” suggested Buck.
She nodded at him, relieved. “Right. I'm still kind of confused about how I feel, but what I know is that I want to spend time with her. I don't want to do, like, a movie or dinner or anything that feels like a date. I was hoping I could find something casual that’s not weird for friends to do together, and then if the vibes are there…” She trailed off.
“Then you can transition it into something else,” Buck finished for her.
“Yeah. So, do you have any ideas?”
He was silent for a moment, pushing some of the pie filling around his plate as he frowned. Eventually, he turned back to her. “Okay, there's a move that’s worked for me a couple of times. You said she's into music?”
She had told Buck that. What she hadn't told him was that she had listened to every single one of the bands Sierra had mentioned and looked up the lyrics of all her favourite songs, trying to figure out why they spoke to her. It was too embarrassing to admit out loud.
“Yeah, she likes a bunch of different stuff,” she said simply.
Buck waved his arms like he was setting the scene. “Here's my suggestion: Buy two tickets for a band she likes and pretend your friend cancelled on you and you need someone to go with. Mention it casually so it's her choice if she wants to take you up on it. If you can, mention it in front of other people as well – just make sure they're not fans of the artist so they don't jump at the free ticket. Then it's super low pressure and she'll have fun no matter if it's a date or a platonic hang-out.” He jabbed a finger at her excitedly. “You should carpool to the concert or get a shared Uber, that way you can take her home afterwards and, if the mood feels right–”
He cut himself off, and May glanced up to see her mom was glaring daggers at him.
“You can kiss her cheek on her doorstep and go straight home,” Buck finished in a hurry.
May was weighing up feeling embarrassed or euphoric at the thought of Sierra on a doorstep, late at night illuminated only by the porch light above, when she noticed Bobby had frozen with a forkful of pie halfway to his mouth.
“Bobby? Everything okay?”
He was looking at Buck, face twisted up somewhere between confusion and horror. A drip of ice cream fell from his fork.
Buck noticed the attention and furrowed his brow, still chewing on his own mouthful of pie. Then all of a sudden his fork clattered to his plate. Before May could even process what was happening, he started choking and his face flushed a deep red. She was wondering if she should jump up and perform the Heimlich manoeuvre when Buck managed to swallow down his pie with a ragged gasp.
He dropped his head into his hands and May could hear him muttering “Oh my God, oh my God...” to the table.
Her mom looked between Buck and Bobby with a frown. “What am I missing here, exactly?”
Bobby looked like he'd rather be fighting a five-alarm fire than be sitting at the dining table right now, but he placed his fork nearly on his plate and explained, “... Back when Buck was a probie, only a few months on the job, he came in one day and told us he'd managed to get his hands on some tickets to a Springsteen concert, but the guy he was going to go with couldn't make it. Hen and Chim don't care for Springsteen, but you know I'm a fan, so I said I'd go with him.” He paused. “Buck drove. Said it would be easier on parking.”
It took a second, and then it clicked.
“Did you try to sleep with my dad?!”
Buck groaned into his hands.
Bobby tried to defuse the situation. “It was a long time ago…”
May raised her eyebrows at him disbelievingly, and noticed her mom was trying to hide a laugh in her glass of wine.
“I didn't–” Buck mumbled, and raised his head from his hands. “I wasn't pulling some move on you, not consciously at least. I didn't even know I was into guys at the time. Not that I was into you,” he added hurriedly. “I mean, I wastrying to impress you but only because you're my captain and the job means such a huge deal to me–”
“Buck, it's fine,” said Bobby seriously.
“... I mean, I probably was into you–”
“Remember that's my husband you're talking about,” May's mom reminded him.
Buck winced. “Right. Sorry. For what it's worth, I definitely don't think of you that way anymore.”
Bobby coughed, the tips of his ears a little pink. “That’s… good to hear. So, May, have you figured out what you'll wear?”
May hesitated, the opportunity to tease her sort-of-brother appealing after he'd mocked her earlier. But the topic was more than a little uncomfortable to think about for too long, considering what Bobby and Buck's relationship had matured into. So she took pity on her stepfather and let him steer the conversation away from being propositioned by his sort-of-kid.
“I got this new shirt a couple of weeks ago but I haven't had a chance to wear it yet–”
Later, Buck offered to help with the dishes and wouldn't take no for an answer. May helped him dry and they worked in companionable silence. When they were done, May touched his elbow to keep him from heading back into the living area.
“Hey,” she said. “Thank you for tonight. I really like your idea, even if it did maybe give you a crisis.”
Buck just laughed. “Honestly, I can't believe I didn't realise what I was trying to do. If not at the time, then at least when I figured myself out last year.” He paused. “Hey, uh… Would you mind–”
“Not telling anyone, ever?” May guessed.
He nodded sheepishly.
She bumped his arm with her shoulder. “Of course.” She smiled slyly and added, “I wouldn't be able to get through the story without puking.”
He squawked and chased her into the living area. She flopped down on the couch between her mom and Bobby, safe from Buck’s mock outrage.
“Your daughter is cruel,” he complained.
Her mom wrapped an arm around her and kissed her hair. May leaned into the embrace.
“Cruel, or honest?” asked her mom.
Bobby slapped his knees and got to his feet. “Buck, can I have a word?”
The amused expression slipped off of Buck's face in an instant, replaced by a pale worry that made him look years younger. “Uh…”
Bobby put a steady hand on his shoulder. “It's nothing bad, I promise. But I know you, and I know you're going to beat yourself up about this if we don't talk about it.”
Buck still didn't look sure, so Bobby looked him dead in the eye and addressed him, “I'm not mad. And I'm not upset.”
Buck mumbled something that May didn't catch, but Bobby clearly did.
“You're not disgusting,” he said firmly. “Don't ever think that. You had a crush; it's harmless and there's nothing wrong with it. You wouldn't be the first person I've worked with who had a crush on their captain.”
May's mom chuckled. “Not just in the fire department, either. I walked in on a very enlightening conversation between two rookie officers who fell over themselves apologising when they realised I was your wife.”
Bobby looked like he didn’t know whether to feel pleased or abashed. “... Right,” he continued. “So you're far from the only person who's had those feelings about me. It was a long time ago; we hardly knew each other then. It doesn't affect the way I care for you now.”
Buck swayed a bit, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. May didn't know much about his biological parents, except that Bobby's face went hard whenever they were mentioned and her mom’s mouth twisted up like she tasted something sour, but at that moment Buck looked like a child expecting to be scolded.
“Plus I had a great night, so I don't regret it for a moment,” Bobby added. “And thankfully you didn't try to… kiss my cheek on the doorstep.” He glanced at May, eyes twinkling.
Buck hid a laugh in a cough. “I guess it's kind of funny, right? I was so desperate to get your attention in any way I could.”
Bobby's eyes softened and he tugged Buck forward into a hug. Despite their similar height, Buck managed to contort his limbs and tuck his face in Bobby's shoulder.
“Thank you for accepting our dinner invite,” said Bobby. “You should come over more often. It's going to be quiet here while May's in her finals period.” He glanced at her over Buck's head and smiled.
“You mean it?” said Buck, voice muffled in Bobby's flannel shirt.
May's mom was the one to answer. “We both mean it, baby. You're family, so you're welcome anytime.”
“Yeah,” May added. “Someone has to keep these two out of trouble while I'm away. And when I am here, you need to be my backup so I'm not outnumbered by the oldies.”
Buck pulled back from the hug but didn't fully let go. May didn't mention the wet patch he'd left on Bobby's shoulder.
“Deal,” he said. “But you have to tell me all the juicy details of your date.”
She pretended to think about that for a moment. “Fine. Since you did help me figure out what to do.” She hesitated, and then asked, “Will you look through concerts and tour dates with me? Sierra likes so many different bands, but I want to make sure it's the right vibe.”
Buck grinned and extracted himself from Bobby's arms. “I happen to be extremely good at googling and finding the best ticket prices. Let's talk about what specific mood you want to give off. Oh, have you thought about making a Pinterest board?”
“For a concert?” she laughed.
He sank down on the sofa, hunching a bit so he was shoulder-to-shoulder with her, and pulled out his phone.
“Coffee?” May's mom asked them.
They voiced their assent and she and Bobby adjourned into the kitchen. May watched them go and, half-listening to Buck rambling about the benefits of moodboards for every occasion, let the tension drain from her shoulders. She wasn't even sure what she'd been worrying about. Things would work out with Sierra or they wouldn't, but either way she had a mom, two dads, and two brothers to fall back on.
And this would be a pretty funny story to bring up next Thanksgiving; she'd just have to make sure she sat safely at the opposite end of the table from Buck to make it harder for him to retaliate.