Chapter Text
Nam-gyu wasn’t gay. Or, that’s what he told himself. He’s liked women before - obviously. He’d even think a lot of the women that were trapped in this hell-hole with him were attractive. His only “Friend” here was Thanos. If you could even call him that. They were close of course, I mean being isolated on an island away from all other social reactions. But, Nam-gyu felt a special attraction to him. He didn’t know why, he just did. He thought his personality - with and without influence - was attractive. He just felt so emotionally attached, it was something he did often. Get attached to people too quickly that didn’t feel the same.
Back home, he didn’t have many friends. People often left him for his clingy behaviour - but Thanos didn’t seem to mind. At least he didn’t express it audibly. Nam-gyu was always clinging to his side, yet it be a shoulder hug or an arm on him, anything, he felt like he needed to be by him all the time just in case something happened. But he also got jealous with him easily.
“Nam-su, what's up ma boy?” Thanos went up to him after a game. That name, he hated when Thanos couldn’t get his name right. But, he just tried to convince himself it was just a nickname at this point. And plus, he liked it when Thanos called him “Ma boy,” It was endearing. It made him feel worth something. Even though it was just two words.
“Thanos, my man…!” He said slinging around his shoulders. The presence of the purple-hair rapper almost calmed all his worries, making him have a half smile. Thanos looked back. Thanos began to walk and Nam-gyu let go of his shoulders and followed Thanos. Nam-gyu could feel the effects of his earlier substances fading, making his normal, jittery and anxiety-filled mindset come back. Before he started talking to Thanos, he remembered the first two nights unable to sleep, shaking with fear, tears training his face at night. “Hey - Thanos, Can I have some more?” He asked cautiously, knowing how Thanos was.
He looked over almost glaring. Though it didn't hurt Nam-gyu, he still loved… liked. Right liked him, as a friend.
“I already gave you one, and I know your sorry ass will be begging for one tonight, so no.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Nam-gyu felt a whine in his throat but he bit his lip to stop it. He always found it embarrassing when people told him no, that's why he hated asking people things. Nam-gyu just nodded and looked down, still following him. Nam-gyu played with the edges of his sleeves. That distracted him enough. He was completely spaced out, just following Thanos. It wasn’t too hard, he was the only person in there without black hair.
“Have you seen Min-su?” Thanos asked him. Nam-Gyu blinked, snapping back to reality. Min-Su…? Oh 125.
“Yeah, he was just over there,” He gestured with his head to a corner of the large room. Thanos nodded and started heading that direction. Nam-gyu followed pursuit.
“Min-Su! My boy!” Thanos chirped. Thanos never used that Voice for Nam-gyu. And he ALWAYS got Min-sus' name right. He hated it. Why did him… -stupid little min-su get more attention. He watched As thanos grabbed his hands in with Minsus, rubbing his hands. Narrowing his eyes in jealousy.
“Hi…” Min-su responded quietly, barely looking up. Couldn’t Thanos tell he wasn’t enjoying this?
Lucky… He thought.
Nam-gyu watched the two, he was so jealous. The way his eyes glistened when Thanos talked to him. Or the way he actually smiled at him. Not that shit-eating grin he always gave Nam-syu. Nam-syu found it funny in his head he was jealous Thanos was holding hands with him, as if he’d even like that. Nam-Gyu hated touching things. Not in a germ-phobic way, just a way he hated the feeling of his skin on anything but his own. That's why his hands were always in his short track suit sleeves. At this point he’d stretched them enough.
The rest of the day went quickly, and now he was on his bunk. He couldn't sleep.
His eyes were pried open as he overthinked his interactions of the day. He always did this, thought about all the people he talked to and what he did wrong and what he did right - it made it impossible to sleep. He needed drugs. No, he needed thanos… no.. that's weird.. He can’t think like that. Nam-Gyu looked to the bunk below him to see
Thanos peacefully sleeping. He grunted and rolled his eyes. He moved slowly and crawled next to Thanos, the bed creaking a little too loud. He held his breath. Thanos looked so cute sleeping. He was quiet for once, face calm and his belly raising and falling. He reached his hand out, biting his lip as he grabbed the cross. It felt so weird. He hated it, but he endured. He opened it and took a pill .Before Thanos could wake up he was back on his bunk.
He sighed, falling back into the bunk.
The black-haired man crushed the pill with his teeth, taking in the addicting flavour. Soon, he was able to sleep as his thoughts were calmed.