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Rook. He was there, crouching by Lucanis one moment, then gone as the stranger emerged. He was tall and pale as a ghost, with eyes like a storm, the lyrium dagger in hand. Rook’s dagger. Davrin’s stomach lurched when he realized.
“Solas!” Neve cried out.
That was him, and it didn’t matter. They had to run. There was a clear path for their escape. They had to find Rook and Harding and Bellara and go. Solas looked at all of them, face inscrutable. Imperious. Like they were naughty children he’d found with their fingers in the pie. His eyes flicked to where Elgar’nan had fled, and he looked them over once more before giving chase. Davrin was sure of two things. Solas was responsible for where Finn had gone, and there was nothing he could do about it when they were on the verge of being trapped on Tearstone forever.
Lyra didn’t agree. Her hunter’s eyes focused on the mage, fingers twitching for her bow, still covered in blood and ichor from the battle. Her face was pinched with exhaustion, but he knew that look, familiar and aching and one of the reasons he had started chasing her in the first place. He grabbed her arm.
“What are you doing? We need to find the others before-”
She shook herself loose, jaw set. She looked at Davrin, face softening just a touch reaching up to cup his face.
“Find Rook. I have to do this.”
“Lyra-”
She broke from his grasp and started running. He took one useless step forward but then Assan started to chase her, and he stopped him, choked gasp escaping him as his heart shattered. Rook was gone and somehow had to get them out of here alive. He turned to Taash, swinging their axes into the blight hopelessly, screaming to get to Harding.
Reeling Davrin ran by Emmrich, already tending to Lucanis, wrapping his arm around their middle and dragging them back.
“Taash! She’s gone! We need to go!”
Neve had taken over for Emmrich as he scoured the Fade, doing magic that made Davrin’s teeth itch as he wrestled with Taash, dragging them slowly back from the edge. He could see the smoke leaking from their teeth.
“Don’t make me-”
He grabbed their shoulders, shaking them as best he could. “She would tell you the same damned thing! It’s time to go!”
“He’s right Taash.” Emmrich shook his head. “Rook is there but…we can’t reach him. Whatever Solas did I can’t undo. Not here.”
“And Elgar’nan-”
Both mages looked to the distance. Davrin followed their gaze, and it how did it keep getting worse? Something was building, a red force climbing into the sky. Magic of a kind they wouldn’t survive. Retribution for Ghilan’nain and then Davrin was dragging Taash forward until they gave up. Neve and Emmrich got Lucanis and they ran for their lives, leaving the fallen behind. The barely made it through the eluvian before there was a wave of crimson death rolled out behind them.
Davrin still paused, hand on the ancient frame, brushing over the still-warm metal, part of him hoping Lyra was only half a step behind.
But she never came back.
~~
When Lucanis woke, it was with a splitting headache. Pain coursed through his body, wracking him as Spite raged against his skin.
Finn! Danger! Trapped! Gone!
Lucanis groaned and hands gripped him, trying to keep him from staggering to his feet. Finn. The pain receded when he remembered, then his heart cracked open again and he cried out against whoever was holding him. They pinioned him to the wall.
“Lucanis! Stay with me. Come on. We need you. I know it-”
Lucanis fought back against Davrin to no avail, too weak after Tearstone. He choked down a sob as the fight went of him.
“I have to find him.”
Davrin sighed and let him go. “We’re doing everything we can. Neve and Emmrich are already working on a plan. I’m going back as soon as we all get some rest and some food. We gotta think smart more than ever now.”
Lucanis frowned. “What else did I miss?
Davrin swallowed, jaw working. The man seemed balanced on the knife’s edge. The lines of his body were taut, fingers twitching already.
“We can’t find Bellara. Harding is dead.” Davrin started pacing, shaking his head. “Rook is trapped at best. Whatever Solas did to him…then Lyra went after him by herself. I couldn’t stop her. We haven’t-I don’t know where she is.”
“Davrin. I-”
The Warden paused, shoulders drawn tight, fists clenching then unclenching. “Can you get control of Spite? I need to go.”
Lucanis gave him a brief nod. There didn’t seem to be anything else he could see, the weight of it all stealing his breath. Spite continued his rage, and for once they were of the same mind. Finn. He’d failed. Spite pushed him forward and he let it happen, if only for a respite from the pain.
We. Go. FIND HIM!
Lucanis broke into a run and Davrin turned, frowning. “Lucanis you’re in no shape to-”
“And you are?” Neve, makeup smudged, and nail polish chipped and her despair palpable.
Emmrich had entered the kitchen behind her, hair frazzled and eyes sunken into his skull. Lucanis leaned on the table, hand digging into the wood so hard he thought his skin may just split.
No. UP!
Spite thrashed until his nose was bleeding and he collapsed into the nearest chair, Neve going to his side.
“We can’t go on like this.” A lock of hair strayed into her face as she put a reassuring hand on Lucanis’ arm and he felt nothing, nothing at all, but that rope that seemed to tie from him to Finn and that seemed pulled to the point of snapping and Davrin crumpled, even though broad shoulders under it all as he sank into the chair next to Lucanis, burying his face in his hands.
Gone! Gone! Gone!
Gone. His fault.
~~
Davrin found Taash in Harding’s room, crying. He stayed at the door, seeing them kneeling in front of the plants, unable to go forward, unable to stay where he was. Assan closed the distance for him, going to Taash and sitting beside them, offering a sad squawk that had them wiping their eyes, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
“You miss her too boy?”
Davrin went, kneeling on the other side. Taash sniffed, shaking their head.
“She was so small. I…we were going to visit her Ma when this was over. Now…”
He put his hand on their shoulder. “We can’t give up. The fight’s not over yet. We can’t let her sacrifice have been in vain…”
The wound of Weisshaupt was fresh enough to make him wonder yet again if he’d died when he was supposed to if he could have prevented all of this. It was poisonous, the one that had been keeping him up every night since Tearstone. One Lyra would shake out of him had she been there. One Rook would have talked him through. One Bellara would-Hot tears pricked at his own eyes and he sighed. Taash drew a shuddering breath.
“After my…it won’t stop. I thought I was doing the right thing signing up with Rook. But now…”
“You did. You are. We can still finish this. We can still stop them. We have to. And we still have our allies.”
“We still have each other.” Taash looked down at their hands, and seeing them so low, aging so much faster than they should be under the strain of saving the world, raised his hackles. They were so young.
“We have each other.” Davrin echoed.
No one deserved this, least of all Taash, and there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing else could matter. Still, he waited, the eerie and eternal lighting of the Lighthouse filtering in through all those plants. It still felt like Harding, and if he closed his eyes, he’d hear the sound of her wooden clogs hitting the stone and her cheery whistle as she tended to her garden. Assan squawked and butted Davrin too, and Taash let out a wet laugh.
“Thank you. Both of you. It…I know it hasn’t been easy. Keeping us going.”
Davrin nodded. He wanted to stop, lean into the warmth they were offering, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not until it was done.
“Try to get some rest. Harding would want you to take care yourself.”
“She’d want that for you too. You need to sleep.”
Davrin patted their shoulder again, already on to check on Neve and Emmrich’s progress.
“Yeah. I’ll try.”
It was clear they didn’t believe him, but he gave them no time to worry about him, already out the door. Assan squawked and pounced after him, uncertain and unwilling to leave Davrin to his own devices, even if or a moment. He knew he needed to slow down, reassure the griffon if nothing else. Take a day and get him back on his routine.
But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not yet.
~~
He’d woken up in the meditation room again. Spite just could not get it out of his head that Finn wouldn’t be traipsing back through the door at any moment, with his soft smile and smattering of freckles and that glint of good humor in his eye and-
“Lucanis? May I come in?” Emmrich’s voice startled him.
He sat up. “It’s not a good time-”
“I don’t see how it could be. I do apologize but Rook left something with me when we settled his affairs. I’m duty-bound to see that it gets to you.” His voice was unbearably soft in that moment, and Lucanis had to clench his teeth against it.
“Very well.” He held out his hand.
Emmrich placed a carefully wrapped package and a letter in his hand. “The letter was to be opened in case…well in case of the Calling. Or in the event of his death. The parcel was meant for our return from Arlathan, he had mentioned.”
Lucanis swallowed thickly. “Thank you Emmrich. If you wouldn’t mind…”
“Of course. Do try and keep your chin up dear man. Not all is lost. I very much believe we can still retrieve Finn from the Fade. It’s simply a matter of how.”
Hope. Without Finn, how could there be? Finn…His heart would never beat just so for anyone else. He couldn’t be gone. But Lucanis couldn’t hope he would return either. He glanced at the letter. If he read it now, he had truly given up on the man. He’d given up on them. It made his hands shake. He set it aside and pulled the twine on the package instead, the rough parchment had been wrapped with folding open. Inside was a rook, shaped like the chess piece carefully carved and polished by what was no doubt Davrin’s hand. A memento. The tears fell freely then.
He left the letter where it was, but he couldn’t forget it. Even when he rose to see if he could make dinner for the others, treading his way back to the kitchen. It sat in the back of his mind, to be opened. After dinner. The rook sat heavy in his pocket, but somehow his grief had eased back enough for him to breathe. Enough to stand. The murky fog he’d been wading through seemed to clear, if just long enough for him to start throwing dinner together, laying out the makings for mushroom caps and pasta and mulled wine to help them all to sleep.
It was Davrin who wandered in first, standing a little straighter, a little steadier on his feet. He seemed relieved to see Lucanis cooking, and at last too exhausted to pretend he wasn’t, sitting heavy in his chair.
“The Wardens are ready. They’re just waiting on us. I’m going back in an hour to make sure they’ve-”
“I am certain Evka meant it when she said they were ready, if they were ready.” Lucanis threw something together for Assan too, who flopped over on the rug, exhausted himself from following Davrin around. “Seems Assan agrees with me.”
Davrin frowned, tracing a line into the wood grain on the table. “We’ve gotten no word from Minrathous. It’s been two days.”
“She can take care of herself. We’ll find her.” Lucanis said it with certainty that he wasn’t entirely sure the origin of. Only that I felt good to say it.
“Suddenly you’re an optimist?” Davrin huffed, but he leaned back in his chair.
Lucanis poured him some of the wine, touching his cup to Davrin’s as he went back to tending the food. “Oh, we’ll most certainly all die by the time this over, but I do think we’ll find them first.”
“That’s the spirit.” He gave a short, unexpected laugh that seemed to surprise him.
Lucanis smiled in turn, caught off guard but glad for it. The others needed them. Finn needed him. If there was even a small chance they had to take it. Which meant they couldn’t fall apart.
Neve drifted in with Taash, followed by Emmrich. It was hard, to see the table so empty. He plated their food and sat, no one speaking. Just the silent clink of silverware and the occasional sound of a glass hitting the wood, chiming into the nothing. Lucanis thought about something to say more than once, then came up empty. It was Neve who broke the silence.
“We should have the dagger ready by tomorrow. Which means everyone should try and get some sleep tonight. We won’t know what we’re going to find until we get there. But I think two weeks is long enough for Rook to wait.”
Emmrich nodded. “Tomorrow. It’ll be done.”
Lucanis bowed his head gratefully, hand flat over his heart. “Thank you. Both of you.”
“Don’t thank us until it works.” But she smiled, pleased.
They helped him clear the table and went their separate ways. But he couldn’t forget that letter, wandering to the mediation room. Tomorrow. He picked the letter up and put it in his shirt, laying down on the green couch. It would have been more comfortable on the floor, but if Spite was going to force him back here anyways, he might as well try.
~~
Davrin had carved Lace, taking the time to capture the embroidery on her armor best he could. Debated giving it to Taash but hung onto it in his uncertainty. Bellara had been next, and Davrin would kill Elgar’nan for that, personally. Rook, he did again, capturing him in his Warden armor, placing it next to the others.
Lyra’s was the hardest. Every time he started, he couldn’t get it quite right. It had turned into an obsession when he wasn’t around the others. This time, he got almost to the end, eyes burning as he got to her face. His hand cut too deep and he growled, throwing the carving into the fire and going to bed. Assan chirped and climbed onto his chest, weighing him down, trying to urge him to sleep. Davrin smiled and stroked a finger down his beak, humming to calm him.
Something about it worked, and the griffon closed his eyes. Davrin followed him soon after, if only for a little while.
~~
Lucanis paced in front of the Eluvian, waiting on the others. On the other side….
Find. We find. Bring back.
Yes. They’d find him. They had to. Davrin and Assan joined him first. Followed by Taash. Then Neve and Emmrich, wielding the false dagger.
It had to be enough.