Chapter Text
Sirius felt a sharp jab to his back causing him to stumble forward slightly.
He wasn’t in the fucking mood for this today. He sighed, continuing forward he tried really tried not to let it get to him focusing on his music instead.
The crappy wire headphones and ipod were one of the few possessions he kept from his old life. They were also the only things that made running laps around the gym at least somewhat bearable.
He glanced up every couple of seconds to see if he could catch a glimpse of Regulus.
He wasn't at breakfast this morning and if he didn’t show up in approximately five minutes the officers were going to kill him or just publicly humiliate him by calling him out in front of their cohort which he guessed for Regulus was a fate worse than death.
Sirius would just have to do something equally reckless to take the attention off of Regulus. His brother always hated it when he got himself into trouble just for his sake.
“I can't let someone else be the center of attention," he would always say. But really he just had this deep intrinsic need to protect his brother as if it was laced into the fabric of his bones.
He began thinking up the most creative ways he could piss off his commanding officers before he felt the tug of his earbuds being ripped out.
He looked up to see Sev standing in front of him, the wire earbuds in hand, flashing them around obnoxiously.
That slimy leech he thought reaching over to grab them as Sev ran forward.
“Hey Sirius,” Severus said, "Where's that freak sister of yours?”
Sirius didn't think much about what his plan was before throwing himself on Severus, their bodies clashing to the ground in a pile of limbs.
Sirius had the advantage over him being slightly taller, pressing him to the ground until he could see the fear flash in Severus’s eyes.
Before he could land the first punch though one of the officers forcibly pulled Sirius off.
“What the hell do you think you're doing here son.”
What did it fucking look like he was doing? He was about to beat the living shit of Sev and was honestly sorely disappointed that he had been interrupted.
He looked up to realize a small crowd of students had formed around them.
Pushing through the crowd, principal Harrison took one look at him and sighed.
“Black we need to talk.”
He pushed himself off the floor glaring at the group of students. They quickly looked away from him. As if scared he was going to try to hit them next.
“Look if this is about the fight I can explain," Sirius said as he shut the door to her office.
“It's not about the fight although it worsened my mood finding you like that. I would strongly urge you to refrain from physical violence over these next couple of days. I mean I would always urge you to do that but it's eminent now that you don't draw any more unwanted attention to yourself.“
“What's going on?" Sirius asked, leaning forward in his chair. Maybe the school had finally gotten tired of his shit and they were going to expel him.
"I don't know how to put this lightly so I’m just going to flat-out tell you we found out Vega is infected- that she has been for a long time."
For a second Sirius didn't recognize the name. The school insisted on using it because it was their system but Sirius hadn’t called him that in years.
“Where fuck did you take him.”
“You know I can't give away that information Sirius. For the safety of the school as well as Vega’s everyone needs to remain where they are.”
“Why so you can run experiments on him and pick him apart like one of your test subjects?” Sirius said.
“I can assure you your sister is safe, no one's going to harm her.”
Sirius cringed at the word sister. Regulus wasn't his sister anymore hadn't been in a long time.
Sirius realized then that he had been using ‘he’ this entire conversation to refer to Reg. It was subconscious and he was too upset at the moment to think too hard about it.
“I think it would be best if you return to gym class now.”
Sirius did not in fact go back to the gym instead he went to his dorm room pacing as he tried to figure out a plan.
He supposed he could just leave now but he had to consider the fact that it was broad daylight and also the whole armed guards around the school thing was obviously a pressing issue.
He threw the contents of his dresser into his backpack, opening up his nightstand to grab his switchblade before throwing the bag under his bed. There really wasn't much else to pack besides food, which meant he would have to go to the mess hall tonight and attempt to pillage what he could.
“You mean to tell me that you're volunteering to do the dishes even though you're not on schedule till” the cook glanced down at the chart “next Tuesday.”
“Yes sir,” Sirius said, attempting to put on a convincing smile.
“And you expect to believe you're doing this out of what the goodness of your heart?”
“That would be correct sir.”
God, he was a shit liar that had always been Regulus’s speciality.
But the cook only sighed, handing him the dish rag.
After he was finished with the dishes taking his time on each one so he could ensure the kitchen was abandoned by the time he was done he opened up the cabinet and grabbed a few canned items. His food supply wouldn't last him forever he knew that but at least he wouldn't have to worry about his next meal for a good week or so.
When he returned to his dorm room his roommate Gilderoy was already fast asleep.
He almost felt bad for leaving him behind. He was an awkward boy small for his age with a nasally voice that usually made him the brunt of every joke.
Sirius recalled nights spent consoling him over missing his mom in which Sirius could never find the words to make him feel better. It wasn't something he could imagine missing his parents. Gilderoy probably wouldn't fare well without Sirius around but also what he could do. When he pulled the window open it made a creaking sound stirring Gilderoy awake he rubbed his eyes staring opened mouth at the sight of Sirius climbing through the window.
Shit he hadn't planned on this. “Sirius, where are you going?" Gilderoy said, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
Sirius made a slicing motion against his throat using his hand and then pointed at Gilderoy . Obviously, he couldn't do anything once he left. But Gilderoy didn't know that and Sirius had to hope the scared expression on his face was evidence enough that he wouldn't go run and alert half the school.
Slipping out the window he was thankful that he decided to leave at night. The darkness hid his form and made it much easier to slip past the guards.
一
Remus needed to stop getting himself into situations where he had a gun pointed at his head. It was really starting to get old at this point.
“What do you think we should do with him?” One of the men said, pulling him up by the strings of his blindfold.
The blindfold felt a little unnecessary in Remus’s opinion. If they were planning on murdering him anyway why did it matter whether or not he could see them but obviously no one asked his opinion.
“I say let's see how long it takes for him to break.”
Before anyone could respond he felt his stomach bottom out underneath him as he was dropped roughly to the floor.
“Did you hear that?” One of the men said his voice came out uneven as if he was trying to sound tough but couldn't quite hide the sound of fear in his voice.
“It's probably nothing, just some boxes getting knocked over by the wind or-”
It was then that Remus heard the sound too the high-pitched screeching cry of the Infected he reached to cover his ears before remembering his wrists were bound together.
The men took off in the other direction leaving Remus completely defenseless.
If he could just inch a little to his left maybe he could reach for his gun.
But as he turned frantically sweeping his hands over the area where it had fallen he felt nothing but empty space. He was going to die here all alone. Tied up in a humiliating way with no control over his body.
The sounds of his own screams mixed with the screeching of the infected until he couldn't differentiate between the two.
Then he heard the sound of gunshots going off in quick succession one after the other.
Remus heard someone else fall to the floor beside him. When they lifted his blindfold he was met with light blue eyes in the form of a boy who couldn't have been much older than himself. “Here let me," he said, cutting through the rope that had been used to bind his wrists together. His wrists were raw and covered in splotches of blood where he had pressed up against the rope in a desperate attempt to break free.
The boy started on his ankles next and although they burned slightly where the rope used to be at least he was free now.
“Thank you,” Remus said it hurt to talk and his voice came out scratchy probably from all the screaming he had just done.
“Sirius,” the other boy said in way of a response.
“Hmm.” Remus said, confused.
“My name is Sirius, like the star.”
“Oh,” he said pausing before saying “Remus”
“Like the myth,” Sirius asked. He stared at him confused.
“Remus and Romulus the twin brothers from Roman mythology. You've never heard of them?” “No,” Remus confessed, his parents never would have let him read about other religions, but that would have taken far too long to explain.
“Tell me about them," he said suddenly, curious.
“Well, they were the sons of Rhea and Mars.”
“Mars is the god of war," Sirius explained.
“When they were infants they were ordered to be drowned in the Tiber River but instead of drowning them, the river carried them to the future site of Rome. But when they got there they got into a fight over where the city should be built and in a fit of rage Romulus killed his brother.”
“That's depressing.”
“Yeah, most myths generally are.”
“Do you any water?” Remus asked his throat still felt raw.
“Yeah just don't take alot.” Sirius said, handing the water to him.
Remus held the bottle up to his lips, his hand slipped and he only managed to get half the water in his mouth, the rest spilling down the front of his shirt.
“Shit Sorry.”
“That's ok,” Sirius said. As Remus tried to wipe at his shirt. Slightly mortified about the whole thing.
Sirius looked over to where the infected used to be but had since dissolved into the ground staring at the spot as if they could reappear at any second and seek vengeance upon him.
“Was that your first time?”
“Killing someone, yeah,” Sirius replied.
“It's easier if you don't think of them as people. The sickness killed them long before you could ever pull that trigger.”
“Yeah I guess so,” Sirius said, sounding unconvinced.
“You're not gonna ask me why I was tied up like this.”
“No," Sirius said “And you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”
Remus didn't want to have to tell him. I guess that left them both free from a confession of who they were.
They lapsed into a long period of silence before Remus finally spoke.
“I guess we should probably stay here for the night. The group left before the gunshots so they probably think I was killed by the infected. The building will probably be safe until dawn. We can go our separate ways after that.” As much as he was grateful to Sirius for saving his life there was no point in stalling the inevitable.
“I'll take the first shift. You should probably try and get some rest.”
Sirius tried to protest but Remus shot him down immediately. Remus couldn't help but be wary of the other boy even if he had saved his life he wasn't exactly trusting of strangers for obvious reasons. At least now he had the gun back in his possession if Sirius did decide to turn on him.
Remus stood guard at the front of the building. He thought of Lily, as he often did when the world got quiet and how she used to hum songs to keep herself awake whenever she had to stand guard. It was just a stupid memory but it twisted in his stomach he couldn't think about Lily right now.
He let Sirius sleep for a few extra minutes figuring he could use the rest.
When he returned. He looked down to see him thrashing in his sleep. His labored breathing filled the space, his chest rising and falling in quick succession.
He sighed crouching down next to Sirius. Not knowing whether or not to wake him. Remus figured something like this would probably happen; you can't expect to shoot someone and not have it affect you in one way or another.
He reached his hand out in front of Sirius’s face, not quite touching him just hovering it slightly above his head. He felt Sirius jerk awake then grabbing for Remus’s hand and pushing him down to the floor next to him.
“Woah hey it’s only me,” Remus said sitting up next to him.
When he looked up to see tears had formed in Sirius’s eyes, he quickly tore his gaze away, pretending to find a fascination in the floorboards.
Sirius sniffled before he said, “I can’t stop thinking about how they were once someone’s daughter someone’s son they had a fucking family. Christ, they could have had kids.”
Remus didn’t have anything to say to this because it was true that even if they were rotting flesh when they died they were once people, and that had to account for something, didn't it?
“Does it get easier?” Sirius asked him. “Killing the infected please tell me it gets easier.”
Remus wasn’t one for lying so he told Sirius the truth “No not exactly you just get used to it after a while.”
“I don’t think I'm ever going to get used to this,” Sirius said.
If this was how Sirius reacted after killing one of the infected how would he react when he needed to kill someone healthy? When the time came would he even be able to pull the trigger?
Remus cursed himself for even thinking that it made him sound so inhuman.
In truth the numbness that overtook Remus after so many kills sometimes made him feel like a hollowed-out shell of the boy he used to be. Not quite as mangled as the infected but still changed in some way.
“I'm not dealing with this very well am I?” Sirius asked him.
No, he wasn’t but that was to be expected.
“Well I threw up on someone.”
“What” Sirius said.
“The first time I shot an infected I threw up on someone. So I'd say you're coping better than I did.”
Sirius smiled at this and Remus was glad he had been able to cheer him up even if it had been at his dispense.
“I guess I should probably let you sleep,” Sirius said. Reaching out to take the gun from Remus’s hand. He was hesitant to give it up after carrying it for so many years it almost felt like an extension of himself.
“Here,” he said, handing Sirius his jacket, "take this too."
“I’ll be fine.”
“You're shivering.” He guessed it was probably from fear and not actually from the temperature but he didn't want to draw attention to the fact.
“Just take the jacket, Sirius.”
“Fine,” he said, throwing Remus's thick jacket over his own leather one.
一
Sirius stood by the front of the building thinking about the strange boy that lay sleeping a few feet away from him. Or at least Sirius assumed he was sleeping but maybe he was only closing his eyes.
Remus’s jacket smelt like a mix of pine needles and cigarette smoke soft and clearly worn.
He was admittedly embarrassed about the other boy witnessing him having a nightmare but he was even more embarrassed over the fact that he had cried in front of him. He reminded himself that it didn't matter what Remus' opinion of him was because after tonight he was most likely never going to see the boy again.
When he returned from the shift he didn’t have to worry about waking Remus up; he was already sitting straight up staring off at an object in the distance.
“You know I heard news of some girl who didn't turn,” Remus said.
“They say she’s immune so hey maybe there will be a cure after all. I mean it would have been nice to have it before humanity turned to shit but I guess we should take the good where we can find it right?”
“It's not a girl.”
“Hmm,” Remus said looking up at him confused.
“The immune it’s a boy, not a girl.”
“He’s my brother.”
“Oh,” Remus said His eyes widening.
He shouldn't have said that it gave too much of his identity away and in turn what Sirius was doing but the thought of anyone thinking of Regulus as a girl Sirius knew how much he would have hated that.
He thought back to a Christmas dinner when he was eleven. Their parents had forced him into a dress.
“Sirius, please let me take this thing off. I hate it.” Tears had formed in his eyes and as much as it pained Sirius to see he knew if he let Regulus take it off it wouldn't end well for him.
“It's only a piece of fabric Reg.”
“It's not.” He had protested balling up his small fists.
“Wearing it doesn't take away from who you are on the inside. If I put on a dress would it somehow turn me into a girl?
“No. But that's different. “
“Why?” Sirius asked
“It just is Sirius.”
And he knew then that it was just about the dress to Regulus; it's what it represented to him, to the world, to their family.
“Is that where you're headed?” Remus asked, suddenly snapping Sirius out of the memory.
“To try and find your brother, is that where you're headed?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said.
“You're not going to make it very far without a gun.”
He said it so matter-of-factly that it honestly pissed Sirius off. “I have my switchblade and- “
“You think you'll be able to survive out there with just a knife.”
“Look I have to try ok. If you’re not going to try and help me honestly fuck off.” He went to go storm out which didn't exactly have the desired effect he wanted considering the room was small and Remus could still see him from any angle.
Remus walked over to him sitting down beside him. His expression had softened then.
“I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that I uhh I tend to say things bluntly. I don't know, I guess struggle to say the right thing most of the time. I know that's not a good excuse but-”
“It's ok. And you're right I probably won't make it far without a gun.”
“I can help you.” Remus spit out. “Find your brother. I mean it's the least I could do after you saved my life.”
“You don't owe me anything. I don't even know what I’m doing its practically suicide mission at this point.”
“Well luckily for you that wouldn't be the first one of those I've been on.”
It suddenly clicked into place why Remus seemed so sure of himself. Why those men had wanted to kill him.
“You're part of the Fireflies?”
“Used to be part of it. But not anymore. No.”
He could tell Remus wasn't telling him the whole truth, only part of it.
“I know my way around a gun though. I'm good at that kind of stuff.”
“Ok, you can help but you have to agree to something. I’m not backing down from this mission and I know it might seem stupid but it’s either save him or-” The other alternative was die which he didn't say.
“Like I said I've been on plenty of suicide missions. I know how they work.” Remus said, not backing down from his statement.
“My uncle lives a few miles out. He has a car so we can start there.”
He felt a pang in his stomach suddenly realizing how long it had been since his last meal.
He pulled out a can of beans he had stolen from his school's pantry. He realized stupidly that he had forgotten silverware. So instead he sipped on it. It tasted awful but at least it stopped his stomach from hurting.
“Here,” he said, sliding the rest of the can to Remus.
“Just try to actually get it in your mouth this time.”
“Please don't remind me of that. And to be fair I had just survived being held at gunpoint.”
“Oh that's what it was," Sirius said.
“See I thought the rope and blindfold were being used for other reasons.”
It took Remus a second to realize he was making a joke but when he did the other boy laughed in a way that lit up his entire face. The hardness that had previously defined it became soft, reminding him that he was only eighteen. It made Sirius want to say some other dumb thing just so he had another excuse to hear the sound.
Once they finished eating they made their way outside. Part of Sirius had imagined they would run into another group of infected but instead, the place was deserted.
Empty street corners lined the roads. It was obvious this place had been bustling before the virus spread but now it was only a pillaged wasteland.