Chapter Text
“HERE’S BROCCOLI!” the Broccoli Monster™ shouted, again donning the face of John Daniel Edward “Jack” Torrance from The Shining. It hovered next to the table and held up a can of Sprite with nonexistent hands, drinking it all in one big gulp. “Ahh.” Its face contorted to that of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. “I love democracy.”
“Lol.” The Biting Pear of Salamanca hopped to the dining room.
“I love cooking Dutch Oven Sprite Chicken,” said someone with a Cockney accent, “but we’re out of spices. Thankfully, Geico provides the right coverage for whatever transportation you use to acquire them, whether that be the supermarket, another person’s house, or a dumpster fire excuse of a Western cartoon larping as an anime.”
“Wut?” The eye-less pear turned around to the kitchen, where a tiny gecko was cooking chicken with Sprite in a Dutch Oven. Both the Biting Pear of Salamanca and the Broccoli Monster™ had immense respect for the gecko, whose real name is Martin but who they have dubbed Geico.exe, for leading them in their quest to utterly terrify, defeat, and humiliate an annoying hedgehog-possessing demon who was spilling ketchup everywhere. Since then, they’ve banded together and formed the Geico.exe Research & Development Society, or GERDS™. With their combined intellect and diligence, they have made great strides in research and development, primarily revolving around the field of gastronomy.
And gas.
“There’s this show called High Guardian Spice,” the gecko explained, “and from what I’ve heard, it’s worse than crashing your auto without insurance. That says a lot, considering I’m literally a talking mascot for an auto insurance company. However, from the title alone, I assume there must be spices. At the very least, there should be some reference to spices. Perhaps the characters’ names are references to spices. I hope it’s not herbs. That would be reeeeaaaaaallllyyyy stupid.”
The gecko magically waved a wand, creating a portal, and pointed it to the pear and broccoli. “What d’ya say? Call the other GERDS™ and engage in a mild amount of tomfoolery?”
The pear gobbled up the wand.
“Glad you agree. Let’s hop in.”
“HERE’S BROCCOLI!”