Archive of Our Own ^beta

Technically, Tim wasn’t missing. He had been seen by the media often enough that the public never really suspected that anything was wrong within the Wayne family. He still made posts on his public social media and answered emails from Wayne Enterprises.

Tim still showed up to some business meetings, even though he wasn’t CEO anymore. Bruce had removed him from the role in an attempt to get him to spend more time on normal teen activities. This backfired because Tim took it as an insult against all the work he had done when Bruce was missing. Dick could have told Bruce that was a bad idea, but then, maybe he didn’t have any room to talk anymore. God knew he fucked up with Tim as much as Bruce had at this point.

So no, Tim wasn’t missing, but Dick also knew that all of his public appearances were purposefully calculated lies for the camera.

In reality Tim had hardly been seen by anyone in the family for months.

Dick knew that Bruce, Alfred, Stephanie and Barbara had tried to meet with Tim. When one of them managed to catch up to him he was always quick with an excuse. He never let himself be spotted alone either, it was always in public with too many witnesses for any kind of real conversation.

Dick would like to say that things were better at night but that would be a lie too. He only talked to them about a case if absolutely necessary. He never responded to banter or let the conversation turn into anything less than professional either.

For his part, Dick had tried not to be like the others. He didn’t chase Tim down or hound him for a confrontation. Dick had been sure that Tim just needed space after everything that happened. He had always been such a private person after all. Surely he would come home when he was ready.

But now... Well Dick wasn’t so sure anymore.

Despite Dick’s assumptions, things weren’t getting better. If anything he thought they might actually be getting worse.

Eventually Dick decided that waiting things out wasn’t the best idea. He caved and directly messaged Tim and asked if he would be willing to meet up and talk.

In truth, Dick was surprised that Tim had allowed him into his new apartment. Hell he was surprised that Tim responded to his message at all.

Apparently Tim was surprised by Dick reaching out too.

“I didn’t expect that you would want to talk to me,” Tim said as he sat down at the kitchen table.

Dick swallowed thickly. “I always want to talk to you.”

Tim rolled his eyes hard. “It has been almost six months and you haven’t said two words to me that were not absolutely necessary or work related.”

It was true, but that hadn’t been the message he intended to send. “I didn’t get the feeling that you wanted to speak to me.” Or any of them for that matter.

Tim didn’t actually deny it, but he did say, “And you didn’t think to ask my opinion on this?”

Which was fair. Tim hadn’t actually told Dick to fuck off, he had just inferred it. Even if he was right, Dick should have asked. Just another way he had failed to be there for his brother.

“No,” Dick admitted. “You're right. I should have.”

“Yes you should have,” Tim said directly. “But you were also right. I didn’t want to talk to you. I still don’t really.”

The frank admission hurt, but Dick told himself that he saw it coming.

Dick sat up straight and looked Tim directly in the eyes. “Then I am grateful you are giving me a chance.”

“I never said I was giving you a chance,” Tim corrected. “I am just talking to you.”

That was... Fair. Even if Dick hated it. Well if Tim was at least talking to him, maybe he could explain himself a bit.

“I always told myself that I would never turn into Bruce,” Dick confessed. Bruce had always been emotionally constipated to say the least. He swore that he would never end up like his mentor. He wouldn’t let his grief consume him. He would be open and kind. He would listen to others and not burn bridges the moment his emotions got difficult to handle. “I told myself I would never make his mistakes, but I did.”

Tim didn’t outwardly react, he was too well trained for that, but he was obviously listening.

“Right now Bruce is being a better father than I was,” Dick sighed. Bruce was trying, he really really was, and Dick could see it. It didn’t make up for everything he did in the past, but it was something. He was listening to what they said and felt. He was trying to take their feelings into account. He wasn’t always right, see his decision to remove Tim as CEO, but he was trying. And Dick, well, he had been running away hadn’t he? He said he was giving Tim space, but maybe he was just avoiding things he didn’t want to face. Again.

 “Well, I should hope so,” Tim huffed a humorless laugh. “He is older. He had enough time and mistakes to learn from.”

“I should have learned from his mistakes too,” Dick said. How many of the things that he hated Bruce for did he do himself? Too many.

“Probably, yeah,” Tim shrugged. “If it makes you feel better though I am not actually convinced that he is doing that much better than you. If at all.”

Okay, so Bruce’s attempts at reconnecting with Tim were going even worse than Dick thought. Good to know, but not in any way ideal.

“I was literally willing to let Damian get away with murder,” Dick admits. It was a hard pill to swallow. He knew that Damian was, well, violent, but he had let so much go on account of his upbringing. If there is one thing that can be said about Bruce it is that he wouldn’t let murder go. His relationship with Jason was enough proof of that. “I didn’t do anything to protect you from the assassin living in your home.”

“Yeah you did jack shit,” Tim accused.

“I am sorry,” Dick said earnestly. “I know there is nothing I can say or do that will ever undo the pain I have caused you, but I swear I am sorry.”

“Sorry for what exactly?” Tim asked, casting him a critical eye.

Fuck that was a hard question to answer. Dick was sorry for so many things. He had regrets piled on regrets. A list so long he didn’t feel like he would ever be able to cover everything in it.

“I am sorry for ignoring your needs, for putting Damian first,” Dick took a steadying breath. “For ignoring the fact that you were being abused.”

“Yeah what the hell was up with that?” For the first time today Tim sounded honestly angry. “You literally wouldn’t have ignored an attempted murder if it was a stranger. But your own brother? In his own home?”

Dick could admit there wasn’t really a good defense for that. Sure Tim fought Damian too, but he knew that wouldn’t be a good point to bring up. There was a big difference between those situations Dick knew. Tim had never actually tried to kill Damian. In truth, Dick did know why he had overlooked so much of Damian’s behavior.

“I ignored it because I didn’t want it to be true,” Dick confessed. “I wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences. If I accepted the truth, realized how dangerous and violent he really was… then I would have needed to do something about it and I had no idea what to do.”

Back when Damian had first become Robin, Dick has confessed that he believed Damian would become a murderer if he didn’t keep an eye on him. If he didn’t stop Damian from going back to his mother and grandfather… he would have been lost forever to that darkness. So while he has his regrets with Tim, and he knows he handled the situation wrong, he can’t say that he wishes he had given up on Damian.

Dick loves Damian, pure and simple. When it came down to it he was just so glad that Damian could have a chance at a normal life, a life he could only have because he became Robin. But still, Dick had completely ignored how dangerous Damian was and how serious he was about killing Tim. What kind of brother forces their sibling to live with someone trying to kill them?

“So… I just pretended it wasn’t happening,” Dick finished weakly.

Tim didn’t seem placated at all.

“You didn’t even do the most basic amount of investigating to see if he was really trying to kill me,” Tim accused. Dick could admit not listening to Tim’s claims about Damian cutting his line was far from his finest moment. “Would you have investigated if he succeeded? Or would you have just let it go?”

“I wouldn’t have let him get away with killing you,” Dick said forcefully. He met Tim’s eyes and hoped that his seriousness shone through. “I wouldn’t have.”

“Just let him get away with trying it?” Tim interjected viciously as if Dick was a criminal he was interrogating. “You didn’t exactly discourage him. What would you have done if he succeeded, huh?”

And fucking hell, Dick did not have an answer to that question. He hadn’t even thought of that question. It was too awful to even consider. What would he have done if Tim was killed?

Dick had thought about, if briefly, before, after they found out about Jason and his attack on Tim. Dick knew he could find it in himself to forgive Jason, for all that it wasn’t really his place to do so. But that was only because Tim had lived. If Tim had died… he might have killed Jason. He had almost killed the joker if it wasn’t for Bruce after all.

Dick would have regretted it his whole life but he can see himself killing Jason out of grief and anger. For all that Dick and Bruce’s relationship was complicated now, he knew it would have been completely destroyed if he had done that. He can almost picture how his family would have broken apart and spiraled out of control with this single action. He is so damn glad it never came to that.

And it wasn’t just Tim. Jason had shot Damian, had nearly killed a ten year old boy. What would Dick have done in retaliation for that? More than send him to Arkham, that’s for sure.

Jason had been older when he first attacked Tim, but he was still only seventeen. A tortured brainwashed child... Just like Damian.

When Damian tried to kill Tim again and again he had received nothing but kindness and understanding. When Jason did it he had been attacked right back. Would Jason have made the kind of improvement Damian had made if he was given that kind of compassion? If they hadn’t used Jason’s memory as a “teaching tool” if they hadn’t constantly called him a failure and blamed him for his own death?

And even if he could have been helped, would it have even mattered? Jason knew what he was doing was wrong, and frankly so did Damian. They both made choices to hurt others for their own goals. Dick knew he owed Jason apologies, but how could he make them when Jason had hurt Tim and Damian so much? Any apology Dick made to Jason would sound like he was condoning violence, which he wasn’t. It was all such a mess.

So what would Dick do if Damian had killed Tim? No words would come to the surface, but he had been too quiet for too long. He needed to say something.

“I don’t know. I am sorry, I really don’t know,” Dick confessed. None of the ideas that came to the surface of his mind seemed like enough of a solution. “I wouldn’t have let him be Robin.” If Damian proved himself capable of murder to that degree… Dick wouldn’t have put innocent lives on the line by letting him loose on the streets. “I guess I would have found a place that would be capable of holding him and could give him cult deprogramming.” The Justice League probably has something that would be appropriate. Probably. Bruce has always been through in his contingency plans after all.

“Right,” Tim huffs out angrily. “You take Robin from me for being upset at being attacked by my brother, but you would only take it from him if he kills someone. Logical.”

And god, yeah, okay, that sounds bad. That isn’t how Dick meant it though. He didn’t take Robin away from Tim as a punishment, as some sign of failure, but Dick can see now why it must have seemed that way. Giving Robin to Damian wasn’t even Dick’s idea! Alfred was the one to do it, all in an attempt to save Tim’s life from Jason. Again.

But then Dick had gone along with it, hadn’t he? In many ways he even thought it was a genius move on Alfred’s part. He was so caught up in the ways this plan could go right for him that he forgot to even discuss it with Tim. He forgot that anyone else’s opinion matters. Forgot that Robin was more than just his legacy now. 

“I didn’t mean it as a punishment,” Dick explained. “I know it must have felt that way, but I swear it wasn’t like that.”

“What was it like then?” Tim asks skeptically. “A belief that I was your equal?”

Dick can tell from Tim’s tone exactly how much he believes that defense.

“Taking Robin from you was a mistake,” Dick admitted. Somewhere along the line Robin had become Tim’s. It wasn’t Dick’s to give away. Not anymore. Damian needed Robin, but Tim did too. Dick hadn’t let Tim give Robin a proper send off, just swept the rug out from under his feet. Yes, it was Alfred’s idea, but Dick had done nothing to dissuade it, rather he had done everything to encourage it.

And more than that, Dick had robbed Tim of the opportunity to bond with Damian by giving it to him personally. Maybe they could have been closer if Tim was allowed to pass the torch on himself…

“I know how much it hurts to lose Robin,” Dick continued. “I was awful to Jason for years because I hated that Bruce gave him Robin, then I did the same thing to you.”

Perhaps the situation with Jason was more complicated than that, but the end result was the same. Dick was awful to Jason for no real reason besides the fact he was Robin. He should have been mad at Bruce, not Jason. Dick wished Tim could just be mad at him rather than Damian, but he knew it was more complicated than that with them too.

“Worse,” Tim said curtly. “At that point Jason never tried to kill you.”

Yeah okay fair enough. Tim had more reason to hate Damian than Dick had to hate Jason. Still Dick regrets his lost connection with Jason so much. He just doesn’t want his brothers to make the same mistakes he did…

“You are right,” Dick conceded. “I told myself it was because I thought of you as my equal, but I…”

“Equal? Bullshit.” There was a fire in Tim’s eyes, an anger he wasn’t trying to hide behind a façade anymore. “You didn’t even listen to my theories! Ignored my evidence and tried to send me to a shrink. Gaslight me into thinking I was the problem.”

“No, Tim, I wasn’t trying to gaslight you! I just—“

“What? It is not gaslighting if you actually think the other guy is crazy?” Tim asked.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Dick insisted. “I was never trying to hurt you like that.”

Weather Tim ever believed it or not, Dick really did try to find a good doctor for Tim. He had done a lot of research when picking out a psychologist in Metropolis. She is brilliant, top of her class, years of experience, squeaky clean background check, experience with odd cases and grief. She would have been a great fit for Tim. At least she would have been if Tim actually was delusional.

“No, you just work with people who psychologically tortured me instead. Much better.” Tim spat out his words like they were poison in his mouth. “How is working with Stephanie anyways?”

“She is…” Dick hesitated. What could he say here? In truth they have had their fair share of issues. Steph doesn’t work well with a group, she especially hates taking orders. But at the same time she was learning slowly. She was beginning to accept that she needed to pay attention to the advice of those with more experience than her. “She is working hard. Trying to improve. Learn from her mistakes.”

“She actually admitted that she made mistakes?” Tim asked incredulously. “I haven’t heard anything like that when she hunts me down. All she ever says to me is that I am being immature and need to grow up.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that, but… well it is obvious how guilty she feels.” Dick could see it in the way she moved, a guilty shadow crawling at her back. She would spend hours studying cases and practicing her form. She would often stay out at night later than anyone. She so badly wanted to do good, to help this city.

Steph knew her mistakes even if she couldn’t admit to them aloud. Unfortunately, Dick could see himself in this behavior. She was far from the only vigilante to make a huge fuck up. The gang war she started killed thousands, but she was so young and inexperienced. Dick has made similar mistakes, more than once even. So, no, Dick couldn’t blame her, not for that.

“The war weighs on her, but she is trying hard to be a hero.” Dick said. “And we have all been trying to help her with that and reintegrate her into society.”

“Fuck, Dick, you think I am mad about the war?” Tim curled his lip in displeasure. “Seriously? I couldn’t care less about that. We have all fucked up. I am mad that she hired assassins to attack me, getting innocent people killed in the process. I am mad she tried to make me think I was insane!”

Maybe Dick should have expected that outburst. He knew about what Steph had done of course, but the way she was telling the story Tim was mad at her for something else. Had she been downplaying her arguments with Tim to the others?

“She is upset about that too,” Dick was quick to reassure. “She never meant for anyone to die—“

“But she did mean for me to get hurt,” Tim interrupted. “She quite literally tortured me by using her death to make me think I was hallucinating.”

“Well…” Dick knew about that but he thought that Tim had been, well, okay with it. He had been okay with Bruce’s ‘training exercise’ on his sixteenth birthday, hadn’t he? Upset sure, but he went back to being Robin afterward. “It was Bruce’s idea.”

“Right, because that makes it okay,” Tim rolls his eyes. “Believe me, I am mad at Bruce about it too. The fact that I went on to save him doesn’t mean I wasn’t upset. But that is a bullshit excuse and you all know it.”

Dick had been upset when he heard about all this, but at the same time, it all seemed so normal for this family. It hadn’t really occurred to him till now that all these experiences of Tim being made to feel like he was crazy might take a psychological toll.

“Bruce didn’t put a gun to Steph’s head and force her to go along with his plan,” Tim hissed. “She did that all of her own free will. She has never had any issues disobeying Bruce before, even when doing so got civilians hurt. She only goes along with Bruce’s plans when it means she got to hurt me without consequence.”

When Tim said it like that it admittedly sounded really bad.

“No one is happy about what happened,” Dick said placating.

“Yet there haven’t been any consequences, have there?” Tim asked. “Everyone has welcomed Steph back with open arms.”

“If we didn’t work with her, she would still go out alone,” Dick explained. “And she likely would get hurt without backup.”

“With all of your experience in working with teams I would have thought you would know lesson number one,” Tim said. “Teams require trust. It shocks me that any of you would trust your lives to someone who is so willingly to carelessly betray you.”

“I don’t think she would betray us,” Dick said softly.

“Neither did I,” Tim said. For a moment Dick could see the grief in his eyes. The pain that betrayal had brought him. “But then you are still working with Leslie too aren’t you? I really can’t understand you anymore.”

Leslie had betrayed them all quite badly, and no, Dick couldn’t say he really trusted her anymore, but she knew their identities which made getting medical care from her easier. He was willing to work with her and he believed her when she said that she wanted to do what was right.

“It is not that I fully trust her or anything,” Dick explained. “Neither does Bruce or Steph for that matter. But she is one of our better options when it comes to medical care.”

“The woman who tried to murder a sixteen year old, painfully, over the course of three days, is the best doctor you know?” Tim raised his eyebrow, voice full of sarcasm.

“She changed her mind about killing Steph,” Dick said. He had been disgusted when he learned the truth behind Steph’s ‘death.’ Leslie had been a family friend since he was a child. She was practically his grandmother. But credit where due, thought crime isn’t a real crime and she didn’t actually kill Steph. Just thought about it. “She regretted it.”

“She changed her mind because another teenager died and she realized she could pass that body off as Steph’s.” Tim gave Dick a blank incredulous look as if he couldn’t even comprehend Dick’s defense. “She is a murderer and a disgrace to her profession, changing your mind at the last moment doesn’t mean shit.”

“She regretted her actions,” Dick insisted. Despite everything he still believed in Leslie.

“Not nearly enough,” Tim spat. His shoulders tightened up in anger. It was in that moment that Dick remembered that it wasn’t just him who Leslie had been a grandmother to. “If she regretted it she should have called us up and told us what she had done. She should have called Steph’s mother.”

Dick knew that Steph’s relationship with her mother was complicated, but he also knew that she would have wanted her mother to know she was safe. It was one of the first things Steph did when she got back to Gotham. So yeah, Leslie probably should have done that, but could she really trust others with that information?

“She thought she was protecting Steph.”

“No she didn’t. She absolutely didn’t believe that,” Tim actually laughed. It was a broken fractured sound. “She directly said that she did this as vengeance against Bruce. She wanted to hurt him, to punish him for Steph becoming a vigilante.” Tim rolled his eyes hard. “Something Bruce didn’t actually have anything to do with.”

“She was trying to give Steph the chance at a new life,” Dick said desperately. These were Leslie’s defenses and Dick needed to hold onto them in order to keep himself sane.

“No. She was forcing a new life on her,” Tim corrected vehemently. “Taking away her choices. Informed consent is supposed to mean something to doctors.”

Yes Dick could see Tim’s point but at the same time… “I saw the video of Bruce confronting her, she cried. She felt guilty.”

“And yet she still held Steph hostage for months,” Tim said.

Dick wasn’t so sure that what happened would constitute being held hostage. Surely Steph could have left if she wanted to, right? Was she really that injured…?

“And yet she still forced someone who was tortured to heal all alone in isolation away from her friends and family,” Tim continued. Admittedly Dick knew that if he had been tortured as badly as Steph was, he would have wanted to be able to contact his friends. Even if he had to avoid seeing them in person for safety reasons, a regular phone call would be necessary for his healing. “That was surely great for Steph’s mental health.”

Okay, Dick could admit that maybe they needed to reevaluate how they interacted with Leslie in the future.

Then quietly, as if just now realizing something, Tim whispered. “No wonder Steph went crazy and betrayed me, she was held captive by a woman everyone, including you, is pretending is a saint.”

Dick wasn’t actually sure if that was the reason Steph had decided to go along with Bruce’s plan to mess with Tim, but, well, maybe it did affect her decision making.

“It didn’t occur to me how Leslie’s presence might negatively affect Steph,” Dick conceded.

Tim frowned. Maybe it was Dick’s fault for not realizing that Leslie might be negatively affecting Tim too.

“But maybe you are right,” Tim sighed. “Maybe it is only me that people betray.”

There were so many things Dick wanted to say, but none of them seemed right. Nothing seemed like it could properly fill in the hole where Tim’s trust used to be.

“You never thought of me as an equal,” Tim said softly, his voice only just above a whisper. “None of this is how you treat an equal.”

Perhaps the worst part is that Tim was right. Dick told himself that his actions were justified because Tim was a partner not a protégé. But then, he hadn’t actually treated Tim like a partner.

“In truth I gave Damian Robin because I thought it would make him feel like part of the family,” Dick likes to think this worked, Damian did feel like part of the family. But as a consequence, Tim felt like he wasn’t. “I wasn’t thinking about you at all.”

Tim huffed. Dick couldn’t tell if this admission was a relief to him or not.

“And I am sorry for not listening to you,” Dick pleaded. It was true, there were days he just couldn’t stop thinking about how much better things would have been if he had listened to Tim. How much sooner they could have found Bruce. How much less broken their family might be. “You were right and I pushed you to the side and never listened to anything you had to say. I was so busy with my own shit that I completely ignored you and told myself that I was being the mature one.”

“One of your worst qualities is how mature you think you are. The way you always think you are right,” Tim said.

Dick thought that perhaps this was actually the family wide fatal flaw, right next to paranoia and the inability to communicate. They were all so bullheaded, so unwilling to accept that they could be wrong. Brash and overconfident, but unlike other heroes they were right often enough that they managed to escape the worse consequences of this behavior. None of them ever quite learned their lesson, did they?

“That is the part I am least upset by though you know?” Tim continued. “I can accept you disagreeing with me. That is normal. The problem was you didn’t listen.”

“You are right,” Dick admitted. “But I am listening now.”

“You want to hear my opinion?” Tim asked. Dick nodded his head. “Fine. He doesn’t deserve Robin.”

Dick can certainly see where Tim was coming from. It was true that Damian hadn’t earned Robin, but he hesitated to say that the boy didn’t deserve Robin. It had taken Dick a lot of time to come to this realization, but Robin was something that connected them as family. And Damian did deserve to be a part of their family, and their legacy. He was proud of all of his siblings who had worn his colors.

But even so, Tim was right to a degree. “He wasn’t ready.”

“He is a trained killer who thinks violence and murder are not only okay, but appropriate ways to get what he wants.” Tim said seriously. “You only solidified that belief by giving him Robin. You indirectly told him that his attempts to kill me are allowed and that murder attempts will net him rewards.”

Dick’s mouth snapped closed. That hadn’t even occurred to him. Fuck. Did Damian really think Robin was his reward for hurting Tim? Did he see running Tim out of the manor as proof of his success? Shit. How had he never even thought of this?

“I—“ Dick was at a loss for words. Tim crossed his arms and waited for Dick to say something. “I never thought about it like that. I just wanted to make him a part of our lives.”

Tim rolled his eyes again. “If you wanted to make him a part of the mission you could have had him investigating case files or put him on coms.”

That thought had actually occurred to Dick before, but when Damian showed up in the Robin uniform, it just seemed like the right choice. When was Alfred ever wrong?

“I guess at the time I just thought he wouldn’t accept anything but Robin,” Dick admitted. “Anything less than what he thought he was owed.”

“Damian thinks he is owed the world. Literally.” Tim said sharply. “When children act like that it is the parent’s job to teach them a lesson.”

The thing is, they really were working on that. They had been working hard to teach Damian that he is not actually more important than anyone else. That all life is important, that all people are equal. It was just taking a while. Dick likes to think he did teach Damian a lesson as far as this is concerned, at least a little.

Tim didn’t see Damian’s progress though. How could he? He left home and never really came back?

“I thought that if I didn’t give it to him he would run off on his own,” Dick explained. In so many ways he saw his own younger self in Damian. Angry at the world, violent, headstrong and all too willing to run off alone if he had to. Worse of all, he could see Damian killing someone just like he nearly had at that age. “…Maybe even murder someone.”

“Right because letting him be Robin would stop that from happening,” Tim said sarcastically. “You don’t put people who want to kill in positions of power. You put them in therapy.”

“I didn’t think he would go,” Dick almost wanted to laugh at the thought. No one in this family was very open to therapy even if they really needed it.

“But you wanted to force me to go!” Tim countered. “As an adult you have a responsibility to make sure children get the care they need. Not only did you hurt me but you were negligent with Damian to a degree that is astounding.”

Negligent? No. Dick couldn’t accept that criticism. He worked so hard, gave up everything, and uprooted his whole life to be there for Damian.

“I tried to always be there for him,” Dick said sharply.

“Except in the ways he needed!” Tim tossed his hands into the air exacerbated. “He didn’t need more fighting lessons, he needed to be taught how to be a human. How to be normal and integrate into society. You didn’t do him any favors.”

“Yes, he needed cult deprogramming,” Dick conceded. “But I do think he is better now. A lot less likely to kill someone.”

“No he just kidnaps people now,” Tim snapped back. Dick looked at him in shock. “Yeah I heard about what happened with the Titans.”

Dick knew how the situation would look to an outsider, but it wasn’t like that, Dick knew. However Tim found out he surely didn’t know the full story.

“He was trying to help,” Dick explained. “There were assassins coming to kill them. Damian—“

“No. He was trying to assert himself as the most powerful person in the group,” Tim interrupted. “Lord his superiority over them. He kidnapped them so he could ‘save them,’” Tim used air quotations to show exactly what he thought of Damian’s rescue. “So he could show off how much better he was than them. It was a power move to make them loyal through fear. There were a hundred other ways to save them. He chose to act like that.”

The thing is, Damian didn’t understand the real world or how people worked. He thought that he had to control people, needed to be in charge. He thought that weakness was the worst thing that could happen to you. He still thought that love was something you only received by hurting others and putting himself on the top.

Maybe he really did need that cult deprogramming therapist.

“I have talked to him about kidnapping,” Dick promised. “So has Bruce.”

“Fuck, Dick. This is what I mean when I said you didn’t do him any favors,” Tim looked like he wanted to rip into something, but settled for tightening his hands into fists. “You taught him that violence will get him what he wants just as much as Ra’s and Talia did.”

This was cycling back to what Tim said earlier wasn’t it? Giving Damian Robin had taught him that his method could work just fine. It was a good thing they were catching this behavior now at least.

“Hopefully some new friendships will help curb that.”

“You think they are going to be his friends?” Tim actually laughed at this. “He tortured Garfield. Literal torture.”

Dick’s mouth gaped like a fish for a moment before he pulled himself together.

“He didn’t—“ Dick was quick to deny it, surely Damian wouldn’t have done that. Or he would have mentioned it at least, right? Unless… a memory comes to the front of Dick’s mind. “He said it was just a bit of electricity.”

Tim’s glare let Dick know exactly what he thought of that defense. Dick was going to need to review the surveillance cameras after this…

“He should have learned better after Jon,” Tim commented. Dick couldn’t help but agree. He had really thought that Damian had learned a lesson. “But I guess because that worked out for him he thought he could just do anything he wanted with no consequences.”

“He isn’t going to do it again,” Dick said firmly. This conversation had been one concerning revelation after another, but now that he knew how bad things were he was not going to let it continue. Someone needed to put their foot down when it came to Damian’s behavior.

“Funny, I bet you said that before too.”

Dick had, but it was different this time. It would be, Dick would make sure of it.

“Jon is kind. Forgiving.” It was perhaps Jon’s best trait. Jon’s friendship was so good for Damian, hopefully his relationship with the Titans could be similarly saved with some intervention. “So are the Titans.”

“That forgiveness won’t last. Not forever. Not even close.” Tim interjected. He looked Dick directly in the eyes. “If he keeps hurting people he will never have anyone who loves him.”

Dick opened his mouth to say that he loved Damian, but Tim spoke over him.

“No one besides you,” Tim corrected. “You baby him, tell him his behavior is okay and in the process you isolate him from any good relationship he could ever have.”

“I am not excusing his behavior,” Dick said. It was obvious from Tim’s expression that he disagreed. “Really I am not. I tell him he needs to stop every day.”

“But you don’t actually punish him for it do you? No consequence for his actions.”

There were very few direct consequences, that much was true. But Dick wasn’t so sure that normal punishments would work for Damian. His violent cult upbringing had damaged him so much. To him, punishments were… Bad. Isolation. Torture. Death.

To punish Damian in any way was like telling him you thought he was worthless. He didn’t understand that you can be mad or disappointed in someone and still love them.

“They are going to hate him,” Tim continued. Dick cringed. He didn’t want people to hate his brother. He wanted people to see Damian the way he did. He wanted people to love him for all that he could be. “They probably already do. That is not how you run a team. You should know that.”

“I have been talking to him about how to properly run a team,” Dick liked to think these lessons were both educational and a good brotherly bonding activity. “Hopefully some of that will get through to him.”

“You do realize the whole reason he wants to run a team is because of you, right?” Tim asked. “You did it, I did it, Bruce did it. Even Barbra and Jason have teams. He thinks if he doesn’t run his own team he is a failure.”

This part Dick actually did realize. It was obvious how Damian measured himself up against all the others. He desperately tried to prove his superiority because deep down he feared that he wasn’t good enough. The awful fear that his siblings might be better than him. Damian had been brainwashed to think any failure is a death sentence. He was thought to believe that if he wasn’t perfect at everything, he might as well not exist.

“He just wants to be part of the family,” Dick tried to explain. “He looks up to us.”

“Except the rest of us were ready to run teams,” Tim said. “We actually thought of our teammates as people, not pawns.”

It was true that Damian didn’t exactly think highly of, well, anyone besides his parents, but… “He has learned so much compassion and empathy in just the short time I have known him. I know he can be someone great someday.”

“Maybe someday he could be,” Dick is almost surprised that Tim admits it. “But he needs to learn a lot and I don’t think you even realize what lessons you are teaching him.”

It hurts to hear Tim be so dismissive. An anger grips Dick and he sits up straighter.

“Well you weren’t there teaching him!” Dick shouts. “You left even when I asked you to stay, asked you to come back.”

“And you're back to blaming me,” Tim yells back. “He was trying to kill me Dick!”

“I didn’t know what to do Tim! I was lost too!” an old grief makes its way into Dick’s heart. He remembers losing Bruce, his father, and having a horrific responsibility thrust unto him. In his worst moments he expected to be able to lean on Tim, his brother, but… he wasn’t there. Desperately, Dick askes, “What would you have done in my place?”

“I wouldn’t have let him out as Robin!” Tim exploded. “If he had killed someone as Robin because you let him out on the streets that death would have been on your shoulders. He is a child that doesn’t know better. You were supposed to teach him!”

“I know that! And I did teach him.” No killing was literally the first rule Dick had instilled with Damian. “I am just grateful it never came to that.”

“Would you have let those murder attempts go too?” Tim was unwilling to back down. Perhaps it was the core difference in their personalities but Tim was unwilling to let things lie like that. Tim always wanted to know everything. He was like Bruce in that regard. “Or would that have been a step too far? Is it only okay if it is me he is trying to kill?”

“It isn’t like that,” Dick denied.

“Then what is it like?”

Dick sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. His frustration had gotten the best of him.

“I thought you could handle it,” Dick confessed. “You have always been so mature…”

“Mature? I had to learn to be mature.” Dick could tell that Tim was hurt but he didn’t let that slow him down. “This might be a surprise to you but attempts on your life are traumatizing. Especially ones that are coming from your supposed siblings.”

“You were fighting him too,” Dick said. Maybe it was a weak defense, but Tim hadn’t been perfect either. He attacked Damian too. Granted he thought he was protecting Alfred, but he still did it. “I told myself it was sibling rivalry.”

“He tried to kill me. I defended myself,” Tim countered. “That isn’t fighting and you are victim blaming.”

Dick struggled to breathe. He was, wasn’t he? Blaming someone for protecting themselves wasn’t exactly a heroic attitude to have.

Dick deflated into his seat. “You're right.”

The admission seemed to have some placating effect on Tim because he too let his guard down a bit.

“I might not have been a good brother to Damian,” Tim conceded. “But it is not my responsibility to be stabbed for his character development.”

There wasn’t much to say in response to that and they lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Dick couldn’t let things remain like this. He came here today to try and fix things, but somehow he feels even further away from Tim than before.

He listened to Tim’s complaints, now it was time to say his piece. He had apologies to make.

“I am sorry for making you unsafe in your own home,” Dick said. “No one should ever feel that way. And I am sorry you were so unsafe in your own home you had to leave.”

“Not going to lie, it really sucks to have to leave your home,” Tim sounded resentful. Justifiably so Dick supposed. “When I moved in with Bruce… I really thought that would be it. I thought I could stay there forever.”

Dick hesitantly offered, “You could come back now if you wanted.”

Tim shook his head. “I think we both know how that would end.”

“I would make it safe for you,” Dick promised. “I wouldn’t let things happen the way they did before.”

“It's fine.”

“It is not fine,” Dick disagreed. No part of this fucked up situation was fine. Dick had no idea how everything had gotten so far out of control. Why was the brother he was once so close to now so very far away?

“It sucked, but it is fine,” Tim insisted bitterly. “I am used to being alone at this point.”

Dick thinks about that year Tim was gone. He still doesn't know what had happened, not entirely, but he knew it was bad. Dick knew that Cass was aware of more of it than anyone else, but she was keeping her lips sealed. Even so, that sad look she got on her face sometimes… He got the feeling it was worse than his initial guesses.

“I forced you to go dark, the one thing we should never do,” Dick had tried to contact Tim dozens of times, but Tim never responded. At the time, Dick had been pissed about this. How could Tim do something as dangerous and stupid as going dark? But now… he thinks he can understand why Tim did it. He didn’t trust any of them to not get in the way of his mission. Going dark was his only option. “I took away all your allies and options.”

“At that time… I would have died before risking calling for help,” Tim admitted. Then, in a lower voice, like he couldn’t quite force the words out, he said, “I almost did. More than once.”

“I am sorry you didn’t have any allies,” Dick said. Everyone in the Justice League had followed Dick’s lead. When Dick said that Tim couldn’t be trusted… no one else was willing to listen. After all, the bats are detectives, right? If Dick said Tim’s story was baseless, then surely that was true. Dick had turned everyone against Tim. He was surrounded on all sides.

“Don’t give yourself too much credit. It wasn’t just your fault. It was Alfred’s too.” Tim sounded oddly resigned to this.

It was easy to forget Alfred’s role in everything that happened. It was easy to take him for granted. For the first time Dick wondered how Tim’s relationship with their almost-grandfather was going.

“He was quite sincere in his apology and made it clear that he knows he was wrong for not stepping in earlier,” Tim took a deep breath, clearly trying to control the anger just bubbling up under his skin. “For participating in Bruce’s sixteen’s birthday party from hell.”

Dick wonders if Alfred confessed to Tim that he was the one who gave Damian Robin. Tim hasn’t mentioned it, so maybe not. Dick doesn’t think it is worth it to mention it though. It would only bring more problems and when it came down to it, Dick was still the one to decide to keep Damian as Robin.

Dick wonders if Alfred’s attempts to apologize to Tim had something to do with his decision to finally take down Jason’s memorial. Maybe he was finally listening to what the rest of the family had to say on these things.

Dick knew that everyone mourns differently, and he could understand Alfred’s decision to make a memorial for Jason, but… well Dick and Bruce had always hated that thing. Alfred had been insistent and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so the memorial stayed. Yet, it hurt to think of Jason as a soldier and it was obvious how much it hurt Jason.

Dick wondered if Alfred had apologized to Jason too. He wondered if maybe they could fix this mess that was their family.

“Alfred said that even if I couldn’t trust you, I should have been able to trust him enough to call for an evac,” Tim explained.

But Tim didn’t. When it came down to it, he hadn’t trusted any of them enough to ask for help.

“I am sorry for judging your actions when I left you no other choices.”

Dick hated the idea of Tim working with Ra’s. He hated them for every awful thing they had done to his family. Were still doing to his family. He hated Ra’s and Talia for how they raised Damian, for the damage they had done to his siblings. When he first learned who Tim had been working with he was angry, but in truth it was mostly fear for Tim’s safety. He probably hadn’t done a good job of making that clear though.

“Yeah well…” Tim shrugged. “Working with Ra’s wasn’t exactly my first choice.”

No, Tim’s first choice had been family, but that hadn’t worked out.

“I am sorry I didn’t apologize to you sooner,” Dick said earnestly. It had been so long since he had a real conversation with Tim. Even if all they did today was fight, at least they were talking. Some part of him feared that he waited too long to ever build back up the burnt bridge that was their relationship.

Tim hesitantly looked up at Dick. “Why did it take you so long to talk to me?”

“I wasn’t willing to accept just how badly I fucked up,” Dick let out a humorless laugh. He told himself that he wanted to give Tim time alone, and that was part of it, sure, but… “So I ignored it and justified shit to myself.”

“What changed?”

Nothing had changed drastically, really. In many ways life had been almost the same since Bruce came back. Sure Dick went back to Nightwing, and he didn’t see Damian everyday anymore, but there hadn’t been some drastic shift. It was just… Dick realized he missed his brother. He had gotten so used to Tim not being around the loss almost felt natural, yet his presence was still felt in the empty space in conversations, in the cases he struggled to solve, in the TV shows they used to watch together.

He wanted his brother back and it took him so long to be able to identify that.

“I know how badly I messed up, but I don’t want this to be the end of our relationship,” Dick pleaded. “I want to be your brother again.”

“…If I don’t want to be yours?” Tim’s voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but he didn’t hesitate either.

In the lingering silence, Dick could hear his own heart beating rabbit fast in his chest. It was everything he feared, but he couldn’t back down.

“I have always been the first to say that you don’t need to forgive Jason. Now I am going to say it again.” Dick gathered all of his resolve. “You don’t need to forgive Damian and you don’t need to forgive me.”

Tim’s steadfast resolve seemed to deflate and his shoulders slumped again.

“I don’t trust you anymore,” Tim confessed. “I used to. I trusted you blindly. I idolized you. You were my hero. I never thought you capable of doing anything wrong. It is only now that I realize that you never actually earned my trust. I gave it away without thought or hesitation because I was a dumb kid.”

Tim met Dick’s gaze head on. “I am not going to make that mistake again.”

Dick could literally feel his heart breaking. He almost wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t allow himself that. Tim didn’t need to see that. He didn’t need to be made to feel guilty for having boundaries.

“I would like to have the chance to earn your trust back but I would understand if that never happened.”

Dick stood up. He would rather excuse himself than be kicked out. Tim would likely need time to think things over and Dick needed to prepare himself for whatever answer he eventually gave.

“Were we ever actually brothers?” Tim’s voice cut in, stopping Dick’s movements. “Or was I just a place to put all your guilt for Jason?”

Dick nearly stumbled. “What?”

“You said it yourself. You were not a good brother to Jason.” Tim didn’t even say it like an accusation, just fact. “Then he died and you felt like shit. You said it yourself, you were determined to not make the same mistake twice. Were you my brother because you wanted to be or because you felt like I was your responsibility?” Tim took a deep steadying breath. “Did you ever actually love me?”

God. Had Dick actually failed Tim this badly?

“I was your brother. You were a brother to me.” Dick really felt like he might cry now. “Little brothers are always your responsibility, but that doesn't mean that I didn’t love you. I always loved you. I still love you. I will always love you.”

“Then why the fuck did you do all this to me?” Tim looked away, unable to meet Dick’s gaze. “I have heard your explanations but none of them make any sense to me. I just can’t, I don’t. How am I supposed to believe anything you have ever said to me?”

Dick felt the desperate urge to wrap his arms around Tim. He wanted to pull his brother close. He knew this action would not be appreciated.

“I don’t know. I am sorry. I don’t know. I don’t know how to convince you it was all real.” Dick felt tears building in the corner of his eyes. He did his best to blink them away. “My behavior, it was all my stupid grieving brain and a series of bad decisions. I didn’t listen to anything anyone said. I was so convinced of my own superiority, I just didn’t think. I literally just didn’t think.”

This didn’t seem to convince Tim at all. Dick was at a loss for words. How do you tell someone you love them in a way that they would believe?

“But I swear it was all real. I swear I love you Tim,” Dick pleaded. “You are my brother and that will never change. Nor will how I feel.”

“Words were good enough before but they aren’t anymore,” Tim shook his head like he was trying to dislodge a thought. “You need to earn my trust. You need to make me believe that you love me. We aren’t brothers anymore. Right now I am not convinced we ever were. You need to earn brotherhood.”

Okay. That is more than fair. “Are you actually going to give me an opportunity to do that?”

“I guess. I am not going to stop you. But I am not going to help you in this either,” Tim shrugged in false casualness. “I don’t trust you to have my back in the field because I know you will let attempts on my life go.”

“I won’t,” Dick said firmly. “Tim, I swear I won’t. I won’t let anything like that happen.”

“Again,” Tim corrected.

“Again,” Dick acknowledged. An idea came to him, an uncomfortable one, but if it helped Tim… “I would consent to one of our telepathic teammates looking through my head if that would convince you.”

“The same teammates who trusted you over me? The same people I couldn’t count on so I had to go dark? Those teammates?”

Oh right. Dick had forgotten about that. “I guess you are not on good terms with the league in general right now.”

Tim let out a humorless huff. “No, I am not.”

Dick just felt so hopeless here. Like he was sinking and there was nothing to grab onto. It was a lot like how he felt after Bruce died too. “I don’t know how to prove this to you.”

“Maybe you can’t,” Tim looked sad about it too, like even he didn’t like his own words. “Maybe things are just too broken… For all of us.”

“I really hope that is not the case,” Dick said. “But if it is, then, then I am sorry again.” Dick knew there were tears in his eyes this time, but he didn’t have the strength of will to hide it anymore. “It was an honor being your brother while it lasted.”

If Tim believed nothing else Dick had said here, if all his other words dissolved into smoke, Dick just hoped he believed this. They hadn’t been brothers that long, but Dick was so proud of Tim. Being his family really had been amazing.

“I always wanted siblings. My parents tried, but we were never as close as others. I always wanted a real family…” Tim confessed softly. “For as long as I can remember really. And I got it. For a while at least, I got it.”

Dick watched Tim speak transfixed. He tried to analyze every emotion on the other boy’s face but they all flickered by so fast.

“There was a time, after you and Bruce stopped hating me, before Jason showed up to try and kill me. A brief moment when I was happy.” All Dick could really see on Tim’s face was unabashed longing. “I was happy. And then literally everyone either died or betrayed me.”

Dick knew how much Tim had lost in such a short amount of time. Both his parents, his girlfriend, two of his best friends, Bruce. Then with Jason and Damian both trying to kill him multiple times… not to mention how he was betrayed by Steph, Leslie, Dick, Alfred and literally the whole Justice League… it wasn’t really a surprise he had been in a bad place mentally.

Sure Tim had been acting... Odd, during that time. But was it really so hard to understand what had brought him to that point? Why hadn’t he been more understanding?

“I… I can’t even imagine.”

“Yeah most people have never had literally their entire family and every ally turn against them all at once,” Tim laughed. It didn’t sound funny in the least.

Tim met his gaze head-on.

“Look, if my heart gets broken again, if my trust is broken, I think it would destroy me.” Tim’s voice was rough, serious. “I think it would literally kill me. I would rather leave now and never see any of you again then be betrayed again. Most have apologized, although emphasis on most…”

“I’ll talk to the others for you,” Dick promised. “I’ll try to get them off your back. I won’t allow you to be treated like this anymore.”

Tim looked skeptical.

“Literally every therapist in the world would tell me I am in an abusive relationship and to get the fuck out,” Tim said. Dick wondered if that meant he actually had seen a therapist or not. “My friends have been saying the same. What brotherly advice would you give?”

This felt like a trick question, as if there was no right answer. On one hand, he wanted his brother back more than anything, but… objectively… Tim wasn’t wrong. What advice would Dick give if someone else had treated Tim the way their family did?

“You deserve better than this. Than us,” Dick said. The words were heavy in his throat making him feel like he couldn’t breathe. “You would be more than justified to leave and never come back.”

“You know the real worst part of all of this?” Tim asked rhetorically. “I still want it. I want this family, I want all of you. I hate myself for it, like god how little self-respect must I have to even be willing to sit and talk with you? I hate myself for it, but I want this family.”

It hurt a lot to hear Tim talk about himself in such a way. Dick wondered just how badly they had all messed up Tim’s self-esteem. Everything shattered when Damian showed up and Bruce died. But Dick now knew they were broken long before that. How long had he been ignoring Tim’s problems? How long did he turn a blind eye to how Bruce had been treating the third Robin? How did they let any of this happen?

“But I am tired of picking this family. From now on this family has to choose me,” Tim said firmly. “That means taking my side. That means not letting assassination attempts go. That means not letting abuse go, even if it is coming from a child.”

Dick nodded, not trusting his voice.

“That means listening to me, trusting me,” Tim said sharply. It was obvious how much it hurt him to be ignored and disbelieved. “It means fucking talking to me instead of avoiding me so that you can self-flagellate. It means a hell of a lot of things I don’t think you are ready for.”

“Maybe you're right,” Dick agreed. “Maybe I am not ready for it. But I am willing to try.”

Tim still didn’t look like he had much faith. That was okay though, Dick was determined to earn back his brother.

“I can’t promise to be perfect. I know am going to fuck up again. We all will, but things will be different this time,” Dick swore. “Next time I fuck up I will listen and try to fix it.”

There was a ghost of a smile on Tim’s face. It was the closest thing to victory Dick had felt in a long time. They were going to fix this. Together.

Author’s Note (Sorry it is too long to include in the End Note’s box)

Wow this fic was a doozy, huh? I wanted to end this story kind of open, but hopeful. While the bat family has hurt each other a lot, there is also love there. I like to think the characters do change and get better. Jason and Damian at least do (slowly) get better in the comics.

Before you complain about the characterization in this fic, at least read my notes on why I wrote the characters the way I did. I have a lot to say about everything that happened here, so let’s break it down.

Sorry about the very very long author’s note.

Warning, huge rant incoming. Skip if it will bother you.

Alfred:

Alfred is a fan favorite, thus criticizing him at all is always met with a lot of backlash. But guys, this dude has done some fucked up shit. He knew and participated in Tim’s super fucked up sixteen’s birthday. More than just letting Bruce make Tim think he was going crazy, he was part of it! But yes, he basically always knows about the stuff happening in the house and has never done anything to even try to stop it. He is a huge enabler.

Often Alfred’s actions are unfairly blamed on others. Alfred put up Jason’s memorial case. Bruce canonly hated it and wanted it gone. Alfred called Jason ‘a good soldier’ not Bruce. I swear every time I see a fic where everyone gets mad at Bruce over this I want to pull my hair out. Bruce has done plenty of fucked up shit. Can we please blame him for the stuff he has actually done? I especially hate it when Alfred scolds Bruce for the memorial case.

I really hate it when Stephanie gets mad about Bruce not giving her a memorial. Like, girl you are barking up the wrong tree. Bruce was never going to build you a memorial because he hates the memorials. Steph never got a memorial because Alfred didn’t give a shit about her. (Real world explanation, the writers forgot, but still). While we are talking about Steph, let’s talk about how Alfred treated her like shit. He was super sexist and classist to her, and pressured her to give up her baby.

Alfred was also the one to make Tim Robin. And yes, he was the one to make Damian Robin, not Dick. Dick went along with it later but Alfred gave Damian the uniform. He actually did this because he wanted Damian to go save Tim from Jason who was trying to kill him. Which he did btw, for all of Damian’s murder attempts, he did save Tim’s life from Jason. I don’t recall if Tim ever learns about this.

Alfred also has a canon daughter he abandoned btw. Father of the year right there. Honestly, he is a shit dad, and a lot of Bruce’s issues can be placed squarely on his shoulders. He picked up his bad behavior from somewhere!

Stephanie:

Yes all the stuff I brought up in this fic happened. Steph is a really unfortunate character because she has an interesting backstory but everyone writing her sucks. (It is the sexism!) And as a result she often acts absolutely awful for no reason. Unlike other characters though, she is literally never made to apologize for her actions and canon never brings up how fucked her behavior is. As a result she never actually grows as a character either. She is stuck acting eternally like a selfish 15 year old.

A lot can be said here about how this is shit writing, and I would agree! But that doesn’t exclude the character from criticism. It makes me so mad that literally no one in this fandom is willing to talk about what Steph did to Tim. Maybe you think I am being too hard on her here? But go search the ao3 tags, there are literally 2 fics tagged with any “anti-Stephanie” tags. I would be more willing to let things go if literally anyone but me was writing fics addressing these issues.

But I don’t want you to think I hate her. I love her, in concept. If DC was willing to let her have a moment of, “Oh shit I did something bad. Time to learn from my mistakes, apologize, and be a better person.” She would be my all-time favorite character in anything ever. The closest we get is when she apologizes for finding out Tim’s identity. Unfortunately DC thinks that feminism is when a female character has no flaws whatsoever and is allowed to do anything with no consequences. 

I hate it when people say that Steph was at fault for the war. I hate hate hate it when people say she is at fault for her own kidnapping, torture and death. Bruce fucking used her as revenge against Tim. Sure he didn’t intend for her to get involved and die, but he should have learned how it goes by now. Fuck people who victim blame Steph.

Fanon Steph who is perfect in all ways and never does anything bad ever, is unfortunately, a very bland and stale character. If you are one of those people who claim to love morally complicated female characters, Steph is right here for the taking! Her backstory is actually so insanely fucked up. She had every reason in the world to act awful. That is what makes her compelling!!

But I am being mean to her here. She deserves better than that. She deserves a fic like this, were people have to apologize to her for how they treated her. And guys, literally everyone was so awful to her. I kind of want to write a fic where Steph takes Alfred to task for the shitty way he treated her.

Leslie:

Honestly, I am not sure why the fandom insists that Leslie is a saint, the best doctor and person ever??? Like do you all not know what she did?? The answer must be no, right?? I had to invent the anti-Leslie tags guys!! If you didn’t know, then yes, what I wrote in this fic is canon.

She was mad at Bruce for having child vigilantes (even those Bruce played no part is Steph’s decision to become spoiler). Her solution to this problem was child murder. When Steph came in with treatable injuries she pretended to treat her while in reality she slowly let Steph die over the course of 3 days. Bruce eventually found out and confronted her. She confessed to everything and Bruce told her that if she ever practiced medicine anywhere again he would arrest her.

This later got retconned because they wanted to bring Steph back. Instead, Leslie just kidnapped her and held her hostage. Much better. And while Steph might have consented later (the two of them did volunteer work together in Africa during this year) she couldn’t have consented to this decision earlier because she was dying. The excuse that Leslie did this for Steph’s own good is bullshit. Consent matters, Steph should get to choose what happens in her life. The fact that she as kept isolated from her friends and family was fucked up too. Leslie did this for herself. And no, there was no reason why no one, not even Bruce and Tim, were allowed to know Steph was really alive. She knew they could keep a secret. She literally just wanted to hurt them.

I think it is too bad DC didn’t use this as an explanation for why she was torturing Tim when she came back. Her trauma from her time with Leslie could have been an amazing plot point, but DC just swept both these plot points under the rug.

Every time I read a fanfic that takes place post Steph’s death/return, and the bats just trust Leslie explicitly, I want to scream lol. Like yeah I do believe that she realized she was wrong and regretted her actions but holy shit none of them would trust her? You think Dick would trust her to treat Damian when she tried to kill the last child vigilante? But no, apparently Dick canonly forgave her (as if he was even the person she betrayed…) DC needs to be consistent with their characters and let actions have consequences. 

Bruce:

Maybe it seems like I am being too easy on Bruce in this fic, but that really wasn’t my intention. It is just everyone already knows about Bruce’s most fucked up actions from the comics, so I didn’t feel much need to bring them up, if that makes sense. Also since this fic is mostly about Tim and Dick discussing the time when Bruce was dead, there wasn’t much to discuss as far as his screw ups go.

I tried to make him into a shadow that looms over the characters. He is the reason everyone thinks certain behaviors are okay, the reason so many things got to this point. I also believe that he does love his children and wants to learn to be better after his experiences in time. Idk if I showed that well or not. I think maybe the ‘yell at Bruce for being awful’ will just have to be another fic because it doesn’t fit well here.

Jason:

Holy shit is Jason one fucked up character. I again fear you might think I was too easy on Jason here, which was not my intent. It is just that his actions didn’t affect as much when it comes to Dick and Tim’s relationship. When Jason did fucked up stuff, Dick actually reacted pretty appropriately. So while Tim is pretty mad at Jason, he has no real reason to bring Jason up in conversation here. Maybe if Dick and Jason were on great terms Tim would have something to say about that, but they are still not getting along, for good reason.

I think people forget how fucked up everything Jason did was. He wasn’t an antihero, “pit mad”, or misunderstood, he was just straight up evil and I hate that the fandom pretends this wasn’t the case. People know about him attacking Tim and all the murder, but people forget that he attacked Tim more than once. He laughed when he thought Dick was dead. And he tried to kill Damian. Why do people only ever bring up his attacks on Tim? Damian as a ten year old boy that Jason gleefully nearly killed. And no, Damian and Jason didn’t know each other in the league, they were not friends or brothers. That is 100% fanon. They hate each other. Damian believes Jason to be a “failure.”

It is fair to bring up how everyone used Jason’s memory as a “teaching tool” though. He was used as an example of what will happen if you don’t follow orders. The irl explanation for this is that DC thought the fans hated Jason so they made the characters hate him too. Which results in this weird behavior where every character talks about how stupid and useless this dead 15 year old is. Why did Bruce, Alfred, Tim and Damian victim blame Jason for his own murder? I’d be mad too.

Jason is also the character that DC loves to give trauma to, then never actually do anything with it. He is just regularly abused and no one cares. No wonder he ended up the way he did. You guys remember when Bruce purposefully forced him to relive his own murder? Frankly DC just sucks at writing him after his introduction as Red Hood. His motives often make no sense and he does whatever the writers want to move the plot forward, rather than because it aligns with his goals.

Damian:

You might think from this fic that I hate Damian, but no, I don’t. I actually think he is one of DC’s most compelling characters… if there could be better writers. There is a big issue with the writing where Damian will do something bad, learns that he was wrong, but instead of growing he does it again later.

And yes he also kidnapped the Titans, including electrocuting beast boy. In the comic Damian finds out that assassins were planning to kill the Titans and Damian decided the best way to handle this was kidnapping, rather than like, sending them a warning. Fans will be quick to defend this with, “He was trying to help in the only way he knew how!” I call bullshit on this. If he really thought this was the only way to save their lives he wouldn’t use torture, mock and belittle them, nor put them in humiliating and frightening chains. He did this as a power move because he wanted to cause harm and make himself out to be “The best.” For some reason the comic just lets this shit go and expects us to believe that these people would ever willingly work with Damian, let alone be his friend.

I hated Damian’s Titans comics honestly, they were a huge step backwards for Damian as far as character growth. He was supposed to learn how to work as a team and respect other’s skills while making friends his own age. Instead he left the series worse than before and went back to killing. He also betrayed all of the Titans by hiding prison cells full of enemies beneath their feet. As opposed to sending them to a real prison with some ethics standards. He hid this because he knew it was wrong. The team almost died because Damian thinks he knows best (he is wrong) and breaks up as a result of this betrayal. 

While I am on the point of Damian and the Titans, I was disappointed the stories weren’t good. Damian so badly deserves to have a good tight knit family-like team the way Dick and Tim do, but DC refuses to give it to him because they refuse to let him grow as a character. Everything with him is one step forward and two steps back.

It is only now ish that he is getting some better content and character development. Although I don’t love how they keep changing his age, I am loving the implication that he will give up being a vigilante and become a doctor. Let’s hope they will continue to have some actually good content for him.

Dick:

Dick is a weird character because he simultaneously gets too much shit by the fandom and not enough. Simply put, Dick is often blamed for things he didn’t do. He deserves criticism, yes, but for actions he actually took.

Let’s start with what Dick canonly didn’t do: He didn’t threaten to send Tim to Arkham. No idea where this fanon came from. He wanted Tim to see a therapist in Metropolis. He didn’t even try to send Tim to a mental hospital, just wanted him to see someone. He did not give Robin to Damian, Alfred did. Dick just went along with the plan. Dick did not completely abandon Tim. Dick tried to contact Tim multiple times when he was gone, and Tim ignored his calls. Sure, I can understand why Tim ignored Dick, but still he tried to be there for Tim. He also didn’t kick Tim out of the house, Tim left on his own. Granted I can see why Tim didn’t feel safe or welcome there anymore, but still. Lastly, Dick wanted Tim as his partner, he wanted Tim’s help when he was having a really difficult time, and Tim turned him down. Tim even attacked Dick btw.

So what did Dick actually do? Well he didn’t listen to Tim, like, at all. When Damian tried to kill Tim again, Tim tried to tell Dick, and got shot down. Both of them were punished. Dick was unwilling to see one of them as the perpetrator and just brushed it off as sibling rivalry. He didn’t listen when Tim insisted that Bruce was alive, nor did he offer to help in Tim’s journey.

(He also sent Jason to Arkham. But, to be fair, he was explicitly shown to not be treated badly. This decision was for Jason’s own safety. When he was moved to a regular prison he kept being attacked by all his enemies.)

Dick also didn’t get Damian the help he so clearly and desperately needed. I really don’t get the fandom’s insistence that Dick was an amazing father to Damian, because like, he wasn’t. They fought a lot. Like if Bruce acted that way with Damian people would be making posts about how abusive he is, but because it is fan favorite Dick, it is fine.

Not correcting Damian’s behavior in the long run will hurt Damian much more. The first thing you should do with a brainwashed child from a murder cult is take all their weapons and send them to a specialized doctor. If the fandom gets to criticize Bruce for his lack of therapy, I get to criticize Dick. Dick hurt Damian very badly by letting him think that violence will get him what he wants. That attitude will be the reason Damian has no friends.

But in Dick’s defense, he was going through a whole lot of shit. Like so much. He gave up everything after Bruce died in order to be there for Damian. Dick’s father died, his brother (Jason) was running around tarnishing the Batman legacy by murdering people dressed as Batman. Jason then tried to kill both his little brothers. His little brothers almost kill each other. The person he counted on to be there and support him (Tim) is acting weird then runs off and won’t answer any of his calls. He has the responsibility of his father’s legacy both as Batman, and the promise to raise his son into someone he would be proud of (not a killer).

Like, can you even imagine? Dick was going through it. On one hand, he does deserve to have his actions brought up and analyzed rather than forgotten, but he also deserves a little grace. He was doing his best. He just failed.

Tim:

This fic is, but far, kindest to Tim. This is because a lot of shitty things happened to him in the comics and it annoyed me that there were never any long term consequences or apologies as a result. That being said, I am not one of those hyper fans who is unaware of Tim’s faults. He had done his fair share of shit throughout his comics. Things that are often completely ignored. Like his sexism, generally rude behavior, he completely goes off the deep end multiple times (Hello gun Batman) and cloning Kon??? Why does no one ever bring up how fucked up and immoral this is?? Why do people act like this was romantic or something?? Have people lost their minds??

Tim also attacked Damian!! Yes he thought Damian was attacking Alfred, and yes, he had reason to distrust the kid, but he still attacked a 10 year old without provocation. Sure, he wasn’t trying to kill Damian the way Damian was trying to kill him, but still! It was bad! He didn’t make the house open and welcoming for a very traumatized child. Also Tim's parent's didn't abuse him. That is fanon.

But, like Bruce and Jason, talking about the bad things he has done just didn’t fit well into this fic. I think this is something to tackle in another fic. Eventually. (Honestly this fic was so negative I found it emotionally draining so I have no idea when I will feel like writing something with character bashing again.)