Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tsurugi Kagami — like most children — was excited by birthdays, and also like most children moreso her own than other people’s. The gifts were exciting, and so was the idea of friends and family paying attention to her; even though she only had two friends and her family never did pay all that much attention, it still set her little almost-nine-year-old heart racing. And she liked the idea of getting older, of growing up and becoming smart and rich.

Also like most children — she was the most excited by her upcoming ninth birthday, December 22nd, because that was when she would find out her soulmate. Every child, starting exactly nine years from the hour they were born, could manifest their soulmate’s spirit as a physical presence beside them. A soulmate was supposed to be your other half, someone who could complement your abilities with their own. They were a complete match to everything you were, someone who could do what you couldn’t do.

By calling their soul to you, you could also get their assistance — they could help you carry heavy things, or let you think faster or react faster. With a soulmate’s spirit at your side, you became more capable. But the universe would guide you to be physically together, too, because the best place for a soulmate to be was right by your side.

Mom had gotten a perfect fit. She was smart, she could do incredibly complex calculations and remember long lines of code in a computer program, but Dad was able to exist in the world and pay attention to things other than work. He could do chores. She could not.

Kagami had inherited more from him than from her mother. She was aware that the dishwasher existed, and that the clothes from the floor should be put in the laundry basket and the clothes from the laundry basket should be put in the washing machine and the clothes from the washing machine should be hung up to dry and the clothes hung to dry should be put back into the dresser before they started gathering cobwebs.

She hoped that her own soulmate would be someone who was outgoing and good at making friends. Or maybe someone who could interpret facial expressions for her, because she felt like she wasn’t very good at that. She also wished she would get someone attractive and smart and who could also do chores so she wouldn’t be stuck with the chores all the time, but really, the most important thing was to have a soulmate at all. Without a soulmate, she would never be whole — she would never reach her full potential.

Her excitement was so strong that she had started to make drawings of what she hoped the soulmate would be. Sketch upon sketch of various faces, most of them boy faces — she wouldn’t protest if the soulmate was not a boy, but she felt it was expected of her to have a boy soulmate. After all, she was an only child.

On December 14th, she sat poring over her sketchbook in her bedroom, imagining that each of the faces in it would show up in her bedroom in eight days and tell her he could do the dishes today. She had hundreds of sketches. She might end up sitting there until tomorrow morning, if she were to go through all of them.

But suddenly, she saw movement in the corner of her eye — and she looked up to see the pale ghostly form of a ten-year-old girl, with pigtailed dark hair, looking at her. The eyes looked like they were just glass laid over a milky surface. And yet, they were clearly watching her with interest.

Kagami sighed, put down her sketchbook, and took the stranger’s hand. It felt a little swimmy, but also like a real hand, as though it was physical but just separated by a thin film of water. She led the stranger through the corridor up to Mom’s office, and knocked three hard raps onto the wood.

“Come in?” said Tomoe Tsurugi.

Kagami pushed the door open. “Mom, I have my soulmate now,” she said.

“Really? That’s good.”

“And I think you’ve had my birthday wrong...”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The good thing about being Tomoe Tsurugi’s daughter was that Tsurugi Industries was the foremost company in soulmate technology. Many companies had come up with contraptions or software that could help you find your soulmate — but the best option by far was the So-ru Souchi BS-501 or SouSou, and that was developed by Tsurugi Industries. Not only that, the 501 wasn’t even on the market yet, but the groundbreaking prototype was already in the living room.

The bad thing was — actually, now was the time for the good thing. Kagami needed to find out who her soulmate was, and that took precedence. She hadn’t used the apparatus before, but she had used the BS-500 and there was a booklet. After reading up, she told her soulmate to go stand inside the red circle, and then they both put their hands on opposite sides of the little pad. Then they needed to wait for exactly 40 seconds, and then…

The screen lit up green. An address appeared, and then a map, and finally, other pertinent information.

The girl lived at 12 Rue Gotlib. Paris, France, in the 21st arrondissement. She was 114.2 cm tall, weighed 26.4 kilograms, and was born on October 9th. She went to a school called Primaire Yoko Tsuno — a Japanese name, in France? How strange — and her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

(Kagami, not yet old enough to place this into a greater context, did not see the potential issue in having a publicly available machine that would let you spy on someone so closely. She was just happy to know more, and also miffed that there weren’t any images of the little girl online.)

This was good. The soulmate was identified, she was pretty, and she was Asian. At least part Asian. Those were all good qualities for a soulmate.

But it was also bad. The soulmate lived in France. Kagami could not go to France on her own, and definitely couldn’t live there without Mom’s permission. And getting Mom’s permission to go to France would be like getting a teacher’s permission to go to the lavatory, except a thousand times harder.

Kagami tried it gently at first. She knocked on the door and said, “Mom, I need to go to the lavatory in France.”

Naturally, the response she got was, “That’s nice, dear. But Mom is busy right now.”

Realising she was in need of a bigger sword to cut through her mother’s anti-reality filter, she instead tried to contact her French friend. Maybe he would have some advice for her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kagami --- 14:03
 I know exactly who my soulmate is.

Adrien-san --- 14:03
 😸 me 2!! 💩💩

Kagami frowned at her screen. Sure, Adrien-san’s dad was also rich, but he didn’t work in technology. So Adrien-san probably got someone who lived right next door, or at least someone he’d met before.

Well, that was a good thing for him. Even though she had always been jealous his birthday was two weeks before hers — well, one week now — and as payback, she’d wanted to know her soulmate first.

Kagami --- 14:05
 Who is it?

Adrien-san --- 14:05
 shudnt say 🤫
 i wn keep it sercet 🤫🤫
 but 😻 she livs close

Kagami --- 14:07
 I knew it.
 Congratulations.

Adrien-san --- 14:10
 thx!!!! 💩💩💩
 what abt urs
 w8
 w8w8w8 ✋
 ur bdays nxt weak!!! 🙀

Kagami --- 14:13
 I got mine early. I will keep it a secret, but you should know that mine lives in Paris too.

Adrien-san --- 14:15
 o ok 💩
 we cn hang out 💩💩 wn u come! 💩
 wn ru comin?? 🙀

If only she knew. She’d tell him in a heartbeat if she did, but that required having a mother with any kind of attention span and concern for her poor, languishing daughter, who was wasting away without her love by her side.

She started to type something like, “I need your help to get me to Paris”. But then she thought about it some more. He couldn’t actually help, could he? His dad was mean, and his mom was very sick. It would be cruel to even ask.

Slowly, she erased those words and replaced them with something else.

Kagami --- 14:21
 I don’t know yet. I will tell you when I know.

Adrien-san --- 14:21
 💞💞💞
 lets hang out w soulmates 2getha 💩💞😸

Kagami --- 14:23
 Yes. I would like that.

Kagami --- 15:56
 💞

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two months later, Kagami was scrolling on Instagram when she came across a story that made her perk up a little. It was about two Parisians who had both received the same soulmate.

Or rather, the story wasn’t about that, because the person who made the story — who otherwise made admirable use of heart and crying emojis and spoke in flowery prose about how beautiful it must be for someone to be destined for two people — had taken the story out of a French newspaper, but clearly only spoke rudimentary French.

The article was featured in a screenshot on the last slide, and it didn’t say two people had received the same soulmate. Rather, it said that one boy had received two soulmates, which felt like a different thing. In fact, that arrangement seemed more like a hassle than a blessing to Kagami. She imagined having double soulmates would lead to double kissing, and therefore to becoming double pregnant.

But she looked up the full article in Le Parisien, and found the full text to be quite boring. There wasn’t even a mention of any names, let alone any pictures, so she had nothing new to gain from it.

Disappointed, she put her tablet down and summoned Marinette’s spirit again. Her one and only soulmate — whom she would meet one day.

She took hold of Marinette’s hand, and stroked it with both of her thumbs.

“I will find you,” she said. “Don’t worry.”

If Marinette smiled, the spirit didn’t show it. But Kagami hoped that voices could carry across the connection, and that Marinette might feel a little better in spite of the cruel distance between them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Kagami tried with her mother the next time, she went for heavier ammunition. “Mom,” she said, “as a freshly nine-and-a-half-year-old aspiring woman, I need to find my soulmate and marry her, or I can never experience happiness or fulfilment to mitigate the pain of my fragile and fleeting existence. It is very important for my psychosocial development that I am allowed to find and woo Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

The answer was still the same. “I’m busy, dear. Er… what’s your name again?”

The two of them seldom interacted. Her mom would often lock herself away somewhere, spend days working on some kind of problem, and only emerge a week later when her body reminded her that she hadn’t eaten for way too long and was about to die. Sometimes she even locked herself in her office at the workplace, which was a small blessing in that it didn’t leave dirty dishes behind, but less desirable in many other ways.

Kagami, meanwhile, was allowed to continue with her hobbies. Drawing, fencing, languages; she attended classes and groups for all of them, and by meticulously copying Mom’s signature and equally meticulously nicking Mom’s debit card, she made sure she would be signed up for each new semester as well. And Mom’s android car, Tatsu, drove her where she needed to go as long as she used the recording of Mom to trigger his voice recognition.

But for all her finagling, Kagami could never manipulate her actual mother. Talking to her was like talking to a glacier, except the glacier probably had a better chance of retaining what you told it. And now that her soulmate was in a different country, there were so many layers to break through.

It was very frustrating. Midori-san had been lucky enough to get a soulmate in Tokyo, and while she didn’t have the most sophisticated tool she had learned that he was somewhere in Ikebukuro. That meant she only had about twenty thousand people to search, across fourteen thousand households, which would probably only take her a couple of years. She had already looked through a bunch of them, but if she got the So-ru Souchi BS-501 or SouSou she would find him in a heartbeat.

Aoi-san had been so lucky that she got her aunt’s neighbour, in Saga. They had even met before. Kagami was very happy for Aoi-san, but when she compared Aoi-san’s situation to her own she felt so jealous she wanted to chew on aluminium foil. And Adrien-san had found his soulmate basically straight away, too.

Meanwhile Kagami was forced to live an unfulfilled life, drowning in the sorrow of not being able to reach her true love across a trillion miles of oceans and mountains.

On Marinette’s eleventh birthday, Kagami summoned her soul to make drawings of her. She often did that when she had free time, but that day she devoted all her waking hours to it — that, and thinking of new ways to get Mom to want to move. She assumed that drawing a really pretty Marinette wouldn’t help, but she also thought it couldn’t hurt. It at least couldn’t hurt her eyes.

On Kagami’s eleventh birthday, she took Marinette’s summoned soul into Mother’s office and stomped all the way to the desk.

“Mother,” she said, “here are the reasons why I should get to meet my soulmate right now.”

Mother replied with, “Hmm?”, which Kagami took as a sign to continue.

“One: she is clearly beautiful, and she is part Asian, which means we have things in common. Two: she can help you out in the office, because I am sure she is very capable. Three: if we move to Paris, you can see your old business associate Mr Gabriel Agreste again, and perhaps do business things with him again.”

Mother raised her eyebrows and looked at Kagami. That could either mean ‘I am listening’, or ‘I have no idea who this Gabriel Agreste is because my memory is that broken’.

“Four… I am in dire need of encountering my soulmate. She must also be longing to see me. By robbing us of the opportunity to meet each other and build a relationship at this crucial age, you are ensuring that we will be less happy in the future. And five,” Kagami sighed, feeling that this particular method was below her age but fully intending to put it to use if necessary, “I am going to scream if you don’t let me go to France.”

“... Is that so?” said Mother. “Wait, you have a soulmate?”

“Yes, Mother. I have had her for two years, and she is standing next to me right now.”

Mother peered suspiciously at Marinette. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Who is she? What is she like?”

Kagami sighed again. This time it was a sigh of exhaustion. Because the truth was, other than what the screen had said when she used the So-ru Souchi BS-501 or SouSou, she really knew nothing.

She could guess, of course. In all the stories, being a soulmate was a powerful connection. You just instantly knew what your other half was like, and they complemented you. Or possibly complimented you — the stories often disagreed on that part, though sometimes what they disagreed on was just what the word ‘complimented’ meant.

Either way, assuming they were opposites, Kagami thought her other half would have many friends. She assumed Marinette would be good at keeping said friends, and probably incredibly popular at school. She might be a bit of an academic ditz, though she would probably enjoy housework. She would either be unathletic, or athletic but in sports that didn’t involve swords, perhaps swimming. An opposite, in all the ways that mattered.

But the only thing Kagami had actually gleaned thus far, from attempting to pose Marinette’s spirit for drawings, was that Marinette was clumsy and fell over easily. Which didn’t seem entirely useful, but perhaps that was an area where Kagami was supposed to help Marinette.

Perhaps Marinette was absolutely useless in every way. Well, if that were the case, Kagami would still help her, because that was how soulmates were supposed to work. That was what her father had done for her mother.

She just needed to meet Marinette first. And she needed to meet Marinette to know anything about her for sure.

“She is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and she lives in Paris. The capital of France, which is a country in Europe,” Kagami said, hoping that at least one of those would fire up a connection in Mother’s brain. “I don’t know anything else about her, but she is very pretty and I think she will be very kind and clever.”

“That’s very nice. It’s good to have a soulmate,” said Mother. “But… when is she coming to Tokyo?”

“She is not. We have to move to Paris.”

“When?”

“Before my next birthday.”

“When is that?”

“In three hundred and sixty-five days.”

“Oh, that’s nice. We should celebrate then.”

Kagami felt her heart drop again. Mother had heard nothing and would continue to hear nothing, unless something drastic happened. Clutching Marinette’s hand tightly, she turned around and stomped out of the office.

On Marinette’s twelfth birthday, Kagami wondered if the two of them had been cursed. If they would have to spend an eternity apart, just because her mother was so useless. It wasn’t even like her father being alive would have helped — he would have heard Kagami’s pleas, but he would not have listened.

He had not been a nice man, as his gambling addiction often made him come home late and upset. His greatest act of affection was to buy her a Christmas present every year, something he seemed to do reluctantly, and what she got was always completely random. The best gift he ever gave her was a fencing sabre with a red handguard, a used one with chips along the blade, but still one that felt good in her hand. It was also the last gift he ever gave her, for her eighth Christmas, before he perished to his drink.

Maybe he was perfect for Mother, but the two of them had not been perfect for Kagami. His rashes of anger were rarely aimed directly at her, but she could never avoid them fully. And his care for her seemed to be a chore for him, something he undertook only because his wife would never be able to.

Well, when Kagami one day finally got together with Marinette, she was going to make sure they were perfect for each other. Not only that: if they ended up having children, she would make sure they were perfect for their children. Otherwise, they must never have children at all.

On Kagami’s twelfth birthday, she pondered the idea of boarding school. If it would be possible for a Japanese girl to attend a school in France all by herself, without supervision, without needing a permission slip signed, without having to live in a house all alone and be forced into doing all the chores. She searched all day, and she found nothing except despair.

On Marinette’s thirteenth birthday, Kagami had resigned herself to only meeting her soulmate for the first time once she started university. She would move to Paris and study technology there, in the year she turned nineteen, and she would track down Marinette at all costs.

The So-ru Souchi BS-501 or SouSou still showed that Marinette lived at 12 Rue Gotlib. She had changed schools, to Collège Françoise Dupont, but everything else was still the same. Including the body weight, which seemed a little unhealthy. But Kagami would feed her, if push came to shove.

On Kagami’s thirteenth birthday, she sat in her room and tried to dream Marinette’s colours. If they were red, or blue, or green, or black. What her hair would be, her eyes, the exact tone of her skin. What clothes she wore, and if they matched her natural colours. She tried to imagine smells. She tried to imagine sounds, a voice, a gentle breath from Marinette’s mouth against her cheek. But all she could hear was the humming of the ventilator.

Ten days before Marinette’s fourteenth birthday, Mother announced at the breakfast table that they would be moving to Paris for business reasons. Kagami asked what business reasons, and Mother said Gabriel Agreste business reasons. Kagami asked when, and Mother said in three days, probably.

Kagami didn’t say anything. She didn’t expect her mother remembered a thing about all the requests to move there, so it wasn’t like this was purposely intended to make her happy. But as soon as she got back to her room, she started packing for the trip.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her giddiness only increased over the course of that day. With her bags fully packed and her heart thumping, she texted Adrien-san to inform him about the news.

Kagami --- 18:11
 I will be moving to Paris in a few days.
 I look forward to seeing you again.

Adrien-san --- 18:13
 o
 ths cool

She paused when she received his response. Was he not excited for her? Or to see her? She tried typing out a few different messages to clarify before she realised that maybe he was having a bad day.

Kagami --- 18:19
 Is something the matter, Adrien-san? Can I help?

Adrien-san --- 18:21
 💞
 no ur ok. its fine!
 my soulm8 is cool btw
 like 😻
 but
 im not sad abt that
 idk hard to xplm on fone
 *xpln

Kagami --- 18:23
 I see. But are you okay?

Adrien-san --- 18:23
 cn i hv a virtual hug? 🥺

Kagami --- 18:23
 Sure.
 (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

Adrien-san --- 18:24
 tysm 💞💞💞
 im ok
 wn r u comin? 💩

A single poop emoji. That meant he was more upset than he wanted to let on.

Kagami --- 18:31
 Mother says the plane leaves in three days.

Adrien-san --- 18:32
 o gr8
 miss u sm💞
 its been yrs

Five years, to be exact. And every time they’d met so far, it had been in Tokyo. This time, they would meet in Paris, and they could even meet each other’s soulmates while they were at it.

Kagami --- 18:33
 I miss you too.
 I’m looking forward to seeing your soulmate, too.

Adrien-san didn’t respond. The message was left on read.

She sighed and put the phone down on her nightside table. He would message her back when he wanted.

Instead, she summoned Marinette’s spirit again. She made her lie down on the bed, like she was reading a book, and tried to draw her. With colours, and with her face turned into a faint smile, and the book would be… whatever, because any book would be good as long as her soulmate had chosen it.

But for modelling purposes, it was a kanji schoolbook.

Once she was done with a couple of sketches, she checked her phone again. Still no response.

Kagami --- 20:21
 Sleep well, Adrien-san.
 💞💞

She put the phone down again, and looked over at the bed. Marinette’s soul was still there, lying flat on her back, like she was tired. It was… gratifying, in a way. To know that Marinette could just lie down on her back in a stranger’s bed and relax. Maybe that meant she felt safe here — that they weren’t strangers as much as Kagami felt they were, that they had actually grown close enough to trust each other. One day, Kagami hoped she could be able to fall asleep in Marinette’s bed, in her own physical body, and just be at peace.

But for now… she tucked herself into bed with Marinette’s spirit, and wrapped them both into an embrace. Marinette would disappear once Kagami fell asleep, but until then, they could be close for a little while.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The flight was dreadful. Kagami had never flown a plane outside Honshu before, so the fifteen hours stuck in the air was enough to make her want to crawl on the outside of the fuselage for some variety. She slept for perhaps five of the hours, perhaps a lot less, and the rest of the time she just sat there and stared at a flickering screen.

At least they were first class. But this was not a journey she wanted to undertake ever again.

She didn’t summon Marinette even once. Even though she wanted to. Now that they were so close to their first meeting, she didn’t want to taint her first impression with an insufficient spirit; she would only summon Marinette again when they met, so she could compare the two side by side.

Even so, her lonely hand gripped at empty air many times throughout the flight.

The moment she turned her phone back on after landing, as they trawled through the halls of Charles de Gaulle Airport, it buzzed with a message from Adrien-san.

Adrien-san --- 11:18
 u shd cm to darengoruts acdemy wn ur in paris
 *dargencorut
 w/e
 tryouts on wnsdy
 i fnc there💩

Having roughly divined his meaning, she sighed into a smile and sent him a quick message of agreement. She would absolutely be interested in joining a fencing academy, and particularly if Adrien-san was also part of it. It had been years since they last bouted and she wanted to see if he had improved at all since then.

He never seemed particularly enthusiastic about fencing, even though he seemed to enjoy the experience of actually doing it. When they duelled with bamboo swords the last time, the night before he departed Tokyo, the last time they had seen each other face to face, he had laughed like he was having fun. If he was actually taking part full-time in fencing now, then he might have found back to that joy. And that meant duelling him now could be exhilarating.

Shortly after she sent her response, while they were waiting for their luggage, another message from Adrien-san ticked in.

Adrien-san --- 23:40
 btw if u cm ull c my soulm8!
 prbly

A fencing soulmate? Maybe that was why he was back into fencing now. If so, good for him.

Kagami --- 23:43
 I will do my best to be there.

It was currently Sunday, though very much going on Monday. If she spent all of Monday proper getting settled into the new house, which was next to Adrien-san’s, and all of Tuesday searching for her own soulmate, then Wednesday was a day she could set aside for this. Perhaps she could even bring her own soulmate, and they could arrange a double date.

And the house they would be moving into was in Adrien-san’s neighbourhood. That was Agreste-san’s work, not Mother’s; he had provided them a building that was very close to his home, presumably because he knew Mother would never be able to leave the airport without clear directions for where to go. It was supposed to hold a high standard, to be three stories tall, and to have a garden.

That didn’t matter to Kagami. What mattered was that it was in the 21st arrondissement. She would be attending Collège Françoise Dupont. She would live close to, and attend the same school as, Marinette. The house’s size and facilities only mattered insofar as it would be a nice place to invite Marinette to.

They arrived at their new home well past one in the morning. And Kagami fell asleep in a cold bed, and slept for over twelve hours.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next two days were disappointing. She did not get a chance to leave the house to any significant degree, as most of her time was spent dealing with administrative matters — the matter of unpacking and organising her own belongings was minor in comparison.

First, she needed to help Mother complete citizenship registration for both of them. Then, they needed to show up at the police station as well as the collège. At the former place they took photographs for identification purposes and talked at length with an annoyed-looking constable with red hair; at the latter they registered Kagami for school.

At the end of that latter meeting, Kagami learned that the registration would take time, and she would only become a student there some time next week — therefore she could relax at home until then. She pleaded with the headmaster, an owlish-looking man in his fifties, to please let her attend anyway before that; he said he would allow it, but only if she didn’t draw attention to herself in class. Being a perennial wallflower, Kagami gladly agreed, just for the chance of sitting next to Marinette in class a week early.

She didn’t get to go to school at all, though, not on Tuesday and not on Wednesday. There were too many things to put in order at home. Import fees and registration for Tatsu, sword licences, a driver’s licence for Mother, getting a housekeeper (something that Mother had thankfully conceded might be necessary due to the mansion’s size, in one of her rare moments of lucidity), scheduling language aptitude tests (a mere formality), providing taxation info, setting up with a French bank, setting up automatic payments within said bank (because otherwise Mother would forget every bill), and so on and so on.

When Wednesday came around, she was still dealing with paperwork and digital documents on Mother’s behalf. The tryouts would be at 16:00 at her new school, and she had set off time from 15:00 on to change and get ready, plus to account for travel time

She had not, however, accounted for the fact that the housekeeper would arrive for the first time at 14:30.

She scrambled down to the ground floor once the doorbell rang, pulling on her blazer to look as presentable as possible, and pulled the door open while half out of breath. “G-good afternoon,” she said.

The woman outside was roughly Kagami’s height, but with more weight that made her look rounded and kindly. She had black hair and silvery eyes, and she was unquestionably of Asian descent. Even her white clothes, which were very presentable, had patterns on them that evoked Chinese traditional dress.

At first, the woman seemed surprised — her eyes shot up wide and her mouth nearly fell open. But she quickly recovered. “Good afternoon,” she said; she spoke French with practised ease, bowing her entire upper body forward. “I am Sabine Cheng, the new housekeeper. Is Mme Tsurugi present?”

Kagami briefly considered the potential meanings of the word ‘present’. “No,” she sighed. “She is within the building, but busy. I am Kagami, her daughter. Welcome, Cheng-san.” She bowed back, a little ashamed about her own stilted pronunciation.

“I see,” said Cheng-san. She smiled gently. “I am here for the orientation. Should I wait until she’s ready for me?”

Kagami frowned, and peeked down at her phone. There was a calendar notification — for 14:30, today, for the housekeeper. And with everything else going on, she had completely forgotten.

“... Cheng-san, I am so sorry,” she said, bowing deeply. “I didn’t realise it was today. Moving has been very stressful for,” she briefly considered just saying ‘me’, “us. Please forgive me.”

“Ah,” said Cheng-san. “No need to apologise, dear. Should I return another day?”

“No. This is my error, and I must fix it,” said Kagami, stepping back to let the woman in. “Please come inside, Cheng-san. I will give you your orientation.”

Cheng-san didn’t step inside, though. “Shouldn’t I wait for your mother?”

Kagami shook her head. “Mother is seldom available. I am normally the one who… caretakes the house. I will give the orientation.”

“All right, dear,” said Cheng-san and smiled again. “As you wish.” She walked inside, careful but fast, and cast her eye around the space.

“You will not need to clean the entire house,” said Kagami, clearing her throat. The lobby alone was probably enough to frighten even the bravest maid. “We only need certain housework done.”

“I should think so, for a part time position,” said Cheng-san. “I could barely keep this entrance clean with only eighteen hours a week.”

“Most of the work we need done is in the kitchen, and in the laundry room,” said Kagami. “Follow me.”

She guided Cheng-san — Mme Cheng — through the various rooms of the house, including rooms she wouldn’t need to touch, just so she could see everything. Her job would be to make dinner every day she worked and bring a serving to Mother’s room, to clean the kitchen afterwards, and to pack up any leftovers so they could be used on the days she didn’t work. She would also do the laundry twice a week, and if she had time, she would give Mother’s room a once-over to make it look as un-obliterated as possible. They arranged it so her first workday would be tomorrow at four o’clock, as a testing run, and then she would return again on Mondays through Thursdays in subsequent weeks.

In the meantime, Kagami learned that Cheng-san’s husband ran a bakery right next to the collège. She worked there part time, too, but she explained that she wanted something that would get her out of the house more. Kagami didn’t share anything about herself in return, but she did find the housekeeper pleasant to listen to. So pleasant, in fact, that when she next looked at the time it was 15:44, and she was far too late.

She ushered Cheng-san out the door, apologised deeply for the rushed conclusion, changed to her fencing gear, and threw herself into Tatsu at six minutes past the start of tryouts.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When she rushed into the courtyard, the tryouts were already well underway. Four makeshift arenas had been set up at the far end. Fully-geared fencers, in all bright greys, clashed sabres with people who only wore protective pieces over their most important areas; a large group stood to the side just watching, some with face visors and some not. A tall, older man with a moustache stood almost perfectly opposite her, in front of some green doors at the far side of a currently unused arena.

She didn’t have time to take anything in. She was fifteen minutes late, and she needed to get into this academy. Running forward to the back of the crowd of spectators, she dropped her bag on the ground and announced: “I wish to tryout for the academy!”

Maybe she had hoped for a smaller reaction. But as every head in the courtyard somehow turned to her — even those of the in-action fencers — she knew she would have to bear it.

“You are late,” said the man with the moustache. He scoffed, clearly unimpressed.

She raised her sword. “I will duel your best student and defeat them.”

Maybe that impressed him. He raised an eyebrow with interest, wrinkled his nose. “I see,” he said. “I will consider you, despite your lateness… if you win.”

There were murmurs. Everywhere around her, people glanced at her and then at each other, as though they were comparing her to every other person there.

If they were — she would come out on top. Whether they knew it or not. She had been the prime pupil of her schools for both kendo and fencing back in Tokyo, and had competed in national tournaments to good results. Most of the people gathered here were untrained; of the ones who were schooled in fencing, she would statistically speaking be better than the majority. Her skill wasn’t in question, not in any way that mattered. But her delayed arrival was a bad first impression, and the only way to fix that was by impressing everyone.

And then, the moustachioed man — Moustachio-sensei — stepped up on a podium before the central arena and called out, “Adrien! Show this upstart that we mean business at D’Argencourt Fencing Academy!”

Adrien. Adrien-san was going to be here — was this the same person? One of the fencers stepped forward; a boy, with his visor down, though he raised it as he walked. “As you wish,” he said, and he was green-eyed and blonde and he had messy hair poking out the edges of his helmet, and he smiled a little like Adrien-san. But they hadn’t seen each other for years — puberty had happened to both of them in the meantime. His hair might have turned black for all she knew.

But then he drew his sabre and said, “Hello, Kagami. It’s good to see you again!”

“... Adrien-san?” she said, already knowing the answer but needing him to say it first.

“Yep, that’s me.” He glanced aside at someone in the audience. “Everyone! This is my old friend, Kagami. She just moved here from Japan, and she is very good at fencing. Please welcome her!”

Kagami flicked up her own visor and glared at him. “Stop that!”

His mouth fell open. He closed it again, somewhat red in the cheeks. “... Sorry,” he said. “I just wanted to give you a good welcome…”

She moved onto the opposite side of the field from him and lifted her sabre. “If you really want that,” she said, “then the welcome I want is a good duel.”

“R-right! Of course,” he said, straightening his posture. “I will!”

There were still murmurs all over, even as they put their visors down again and got into position. In Kagami’s experience, this was the moment everyone turned quiet — when they focused all their attention on the points of the swords, and the movements of the duelists. This was where they were supposed to be so quiet that the teacher’s call of ‘en garde’ was the only sound in the space. Instead, though, she heard murmurs: about herself, about Adrien-san, about who-knew-what.

They were hooked into the scoring machine by nervous students; Kagami’s helper mumbled “S-sorry…”

She tried to shut all the noise out. Instead, she focused on Adrien-san’s stance. It was decent, his grip on the sword was good and he seemed ready to both strike and parry. However, his feet were placed poorly — he did not have his weight evenly distributed. It was not egregious; his lacklustre feet would hardly register for most fencers. But she had fought in enough tournaments to recognise it, and had won enough of them to have several ideas for how to take him out.

But she would start off kind. She didn’t want to make him look bad in front of his friends: she only wanted to win, so that the sensei would recognise her skill and let her join.

“En garde!” said the sensei. She nodded, even though he probably wasn’t watching for that. “Prêts… Allez!”

She lunged forward. With Adrien-san, she felt confident in doing so; he had never had an aggressive personality, and he was easily overwhelmed. She would not be punished by probing him like this.

He parried her, as expected. She stepped back, secured her feet, and waited to see what he would do now that she was halfway across the piste.

“... Heh,” he said. And then he lunged.

He would not have won in a tournament with that attack. Not consistently, not against a prepared opponent. But she would let him have it, for now — in part. If she let him hit her shoulder as he so clearly planned to, she could time her own blade to strike him in the stomach simultaneously.

“Simultane!” cried the sensei, as both their alarms rang out at the same time. “Back to positions!”

Once again, the crowd fell to chatter. She couldn’t hear their words, but she could tell that the tone of their hushed whispers was different from before. She shifted her shoulders and adjusted her suit; soon, hopefully, they would all be congratulating her on a victory.

But not yet.

“En garde. Prêts? Allez!”

This time, she waited. Adrien-san’s uncertainty was palpable. He had expected her to move first again, and started forward before thinking better of it after a second of waiting; he was definitely not as practised as she might have wanted him to be. Still, he recovered nicely, standing about a half step ahead of his starting position.

She stepped lightly forward herself, testing him. He flinched for a moment, but quickly rallied with a lunge; she parried it and dodged to the side, striking at him with a lunge intended to miss; his swerve to avoid it was a little too wide, and he nearly stepped outside the bounds. The sensei’s sharp intake of air was loud enough to hear, but she allowed Adrien-san to find his footing and get back into place; it was still too early to take him out.

When they were both safe within bounds again, she made another lunge. This time, she wanted to hit him, but she left her side open to his right-handed jab; with just a simple turn of her wrist, she secured another simultane.

“Ahem,” said the sensei. “This appears to be a close match…”

But Kagami was ready now. She raised her hand. “Sensei. I request that you disconnect us from the scoring machine. If we can fight freely, it will be a better demonstration of our abilities.”

It was time to make a proper impression. If they were freed, she would firstly seem confident; secondly, without being tethered, she could show off her acrobatics. When she scored her first non-simultane touch on Adrien-san, she would show everyone that she deserved to be here.

“I see…” said the sensei; the excitement in his voice was obvious and intense. “A classic duel! No scoring cables! No technology! No piste! Yes — this will be glorious! Unhook them at once!”

“Ah — okay,” said Adrien-san, turning his head towards her. His visor masked his expression, but she hoped it was excited.

The audience’s murmurs rose to a fever pitch now. Several people asked what was happening; some of those questions were answered. Kagami barely heard the “S-s-sorry!” from the student who disconnected her, but she guessed from the sound of the girl’s meek voice it must be the same one that hooked her in. Someone cheered; several others cheered in response.

They took places again. This time, everyone quickly went silent. She could hear the shuffling of legs, a cough, the faint whining of a visor being raised. But the voices that had been so loud only seconds before, now died out entirely before they had even raised their sabres.

“Prêts?” said the sensei, clearly skipping the step that they had already undertaken on their own. “Allez!”

She didn’t let Adrien-san rest this time. The sensei had said they should ignore the piste; she intended to use that to her full advantage, and circled outside it to push him towards the audience; he dodged her swipe, and spun around so he wouldn’t be moved further in their direction, coming to a stop to her right. But that motion had lost him balance; she knew exactly how to capitalise on that, and turned to lunge at him.

He gasped. He raised his sword.

Then he vanished.

No — that wasn’t true, Kagami realised, when she turned her head to look. He had just dodged, with impeccable footwork and remarkable speed, far swifter than she had expected from him. And when she caught sight of him again, she knew why: he had summoned his soulmate’s spirit. She saw the faint outline behind him, though most of her was obscured by his taller and wider body; her legs, however, glowed blue at his sides, like she was standing splayed.

An acrobatic soulmate. Someone who could make up for his own inferior footwork — the soulmate’s feet were perhaps placed wider, but she could tell they were placed intentionally. Furthermore, the soulmate would have improved his reaction time, too, given how fast he escaped when she went after him. Someone yelped, presumably at the spirit’s appearance.

“Is he allowed to do that?” said an audience member.

“D-don’t worry!” said Adrien-san, clearly a little off-kilter. “I’m sorry, Kagami — I did it on reflex. You could summon your own soulmate to help you?”

She shook her head. “My soulmate can’t help me here,” she said, recalling Marinette’s clumsy falls in her bedroom. “I will keep fighting like this.”

Before that split second decision of Adrien-san’s, she had been in complete control, all the way from the start of the duel. But now, he might actually provide her with a good challenge. If his soulmate was truly a fencer, a member of the academy, then she would be able to improve his performance significantly. And Kagami could go all out.

“Oh… okay,” said Adrien-san. He raised his sword. “Again?”

“Yes,” said Kagami, smirking inside her helmet. Now that soulmates were in play, she no longer cared about winning — she cared about giving her best. If she won, she would prove herself to be an excellent fencer, but if she lost she would have been defeated by unfair means. Either way, she would show her prowess, and with that impress the sensei.

“Then… allez?” he said.

She didn’t have to be asked twice. Moving closer, she tried to feint left to see how well he reacted: he turned perfectly, though his sword arm was a little slow to get back into position. When she tried a probing lunge, he deflected it without issue — she could see his soulmate’s arm make a similar parrying motion behind him.

He struck back. She spun away, holding her sword up for defence in case he followed up with a swipe, but he was also just testing the waters.

“You improved quickly with help,” she said, finding her footing again.

“And you’ve gotten really good!” replied Adrien-san, and she could hear the smile in his voice even though she couldn’t see it. “I’m impressed!”

“You have not seen all I can do yet,” she said —

— she threw herself forward, feinting a strike, but when he raised his sword to defend she placed her foot hard on the ground and leapt over him in a forward flip, turning her body so that she always had him in view. When she landed on his other side, she almost caught a glimpse of his soulmate’s face, but then she was attacking again and she didn’t have time to look, she lunged at his half-defended back and only barely missed as he turned away, exclusively at his soulmate’s behest.

That was fine. People still gasped. But Kagami needed more. She glanced around for other things to use to make herself look more impressive — and found the stairs that were now right behind her.

She would take this fight up a level.

She backflipped — jumped so that she landed at the foot of the stairs, then one more time so that she stood on the railing. People gasped again. Adrien-san stared; his soulmate seemed to cower behind him.

“Come and get me,” she taunted, though she meant it playfully. And Adrien-san seemed to take it that way too, because he ran to meet her, but… then, all playfulness disappeared.

Because Kagami finally got a complete, unobstructed view of his soulmate. And his soulmate… was Marinette.

She had the same pigtailed hair, the same milky eyes, the same sheen all around her. She had the same face, the same small hands, the exact same height; she had the same clothes, a cardigan atop a t-shirt with tight-fit trousers underneath. She was Marinette — her soulmate, not his.

He ran past her, but she spun around and landed right below him, swiping at him with her sword. Her blood was boiling. He blocked her, but he struggled to parry her next attack. What he was feeling, she had no idea, but he should be feeling ashamed for using her very own soulmate against her.

She kept swinging. He kept parrying, dodging. He had had access to Marinette for five years, while Kagami had suffered in loneliness in Tokyo. Five years where he could have done all kinds of things to win her, before Kagami even had a chance to meet her. She lunged and he swept it aside, just like he was sweeping her aside.

“Why?” she shouted, but not to get an answer. She jabbed again and could see his movements falter; he might have better footwork but going backwards up the stairs was a horrible position to be defending from. She swung and swung and soon they came to the upper floor, where he turned away and ran through some doors.

He yelled something she didn’t want to register. Clearly, he could tell something was wrong, but he couldn’t know what, because Adrien-san was not someone who taunted and he didn’t know they shared a soulmate. She pressed him up against a library shelf and he finally counterattacked, and she moved back to avoid him but her heel struck some kind of cart and she moved forward again and she didn’t aim for his heart and she didn’t want to hurt him but she did want to hit him and she aimed straight for his centre and he couldn’t dodge her or parry her, not when she was attacking this fiercely, but only a moment after her point hit his chest she felt his point against her hip…

There wasn’t a breath left in her body. It had all been replaced by a painful wrath. She heaved, keeping her point at him, and he kept his point on her, and letting go first would feel like defeat and she needed to win after all, she needed to beat him because — because —

A voice yelled. It was the sensei’s. “Who won? Who got first touch?”

She turned her head. In the doorway stood the sensei, and a girl in protective gear with her visor turned down, and he had clearly asked the girl and not Kagami.

The girl stammered. “I… um, I’m not s-sure…”

“Who?” the sensei insisted.

“I d— I didn’t see clearly! There was a c-cart in the way…”

Kagami opened her mouth to say she was first — but before her lips could even shape the words, the sensei made a fist and proclaimed, “Haha! Then I claim this victory on behalf of D’Argencourt Fencing Academy! Adrien is the winner!”

The point against Kagami’s hip dropped. “Sir — I think Kagami hit me first,” said Adrien-san, flipping up his visor, and she hated him. How dare he pretend to be on her side, after what he had just done to her? She didn’t drop her sword, even though her arm was starting to tire.

“Not a chance! I could tell you would be the victor from the very start!” said the sensei.

“Sir, she clearly had the upper hand the entire time. And I was using my soulmate to help, while she wasn’t —”

“My decision is final! Adrien, you won this bout, and therefore the duel! And your friend Kagami should learn to show up on time if she wants to try out for the most prestigious academy in Paris!”

And —

— Kagami threw her sabre to the floor, pulled off her helmet completely, and fell to her knees.

Tears pushed at her eyes. She was angrier than she could ever remember being. Mother had caused her to be late, and now she had been humiliated despite clearly winning the duel. She had just been rejected from the academy. But worst of all, Adrien-san’s soulmate was her soulmate. And he had spent five years getting to know Marinette, living next to Marinette, getting a head start on everything, and now Kagami could never have her.

“Kagami!” said Adrien-san. He knelt down in front of her and she hated him. “What’s wrong?”

“Why,” she said, and only now did she realise she was already crying. Not just crying, but about to convulse. “Why is she yours?”

“... What?” said Adrien-san. “What do you mean?” His hand landed on her shoulder and she hated him.

“Why is Marinette your soulmate?” she said, choking up into a sob at the end. “W-why?”

“You know Marinette?” said Adrien-san, and she hated him so much.

But in the end, she hated the universe more. For putting her in Japan with a horrible mother, and not in France with the person she was supposed to be with. For putting Marinette in France, in Adrien-san’s arms, and not in Tokyo.

She heaved another ragged breath. And then, without opening her eyes, she summoned Marinette’s soul to her.

Someone screamed and ran.

Then, she felt a sharp sting in her ring finger. Her vision turned dark and purple, and the most demanding voice she had ever heard whispered in her ear. And the only thing she could think about was… revenge.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She came to in somebody’s arms.

“Are you okay?” said a voice. She turned her head around — she must have fallen on the floor or something. A different floor. There were bright lights everywhere, reflecting off also-bright surfaces. This wasn’t the library.

“Where… am I?” she mumbled. She had a headache, or something.

“You’re in the Louvre,” said the voice. It was gentle and kind, for all that it mattered. “You were taken by one of Hawk Moth’s akumas. He controlled you, and took you here, but we freed you.”

Kagami finally managed to focus her eyes on the somebody. It was a girl around her age, wearing her black hair in pigtails and a black-and-red mask on her face. She was smiling, though the smile was awkward and faint, like she was spending all her available kindness in her voice.

“... We?” said Kagami.

“Right. You’re new here? You sound new… I’m Ladybug. I’m a superhero. I have a partner called Cat Noir, and together we fight Hawk Moth, who uses akumas to control people into… doing his evil bidding.”

“I see,” said Kagami. She didn’t, but that hardly mattered. The only thing she cared about was that she no longer had a soulmate, and everything else was water flowing past in the distance.

“I’ll go find your friend Adrien,” said Ladybug. “I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.”

“He has nothing to say that I want to hear,” said Kagami, wrenching herself free from Ladybug’s grip. Was she still angry with him? She didn’t even know. She was angry, in general, but maybe it wasn’t about him anymore.

Ladybug’s smile was so horribly sympathetic. “Actually, I think he does,” she said — almost whispering. “I think it might be worth listening to, at least.”

Kagami frowned in reply — but found herself faltering. There was just something about Ladybug’s presence that made her feel at ease. Or maybe not fully at ease, but at least less upset. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was, but she thought she might be able to trust Ladybug.

So she sighed and closed her mouth, and nodded for Ladybug to go fetch Adrien-san.

Ladybug patted Kagami’s shoulder and sighed. “I’m sorry our first meeting turned out like this.”

Like what, exactly? Like something that wasn’t really a meeting at all? Kagami had no idea how to respond, so she just… nodded.

Then Ladybug got to her feet, smiling sadly, and almost saying another thing before turning around and running away. And Kagami sat back, a little too upset about the day to really pay the superhero any more mind.

Instead, she looked around. This was… the Louvre, apparently. The famous museum with a pyramid roof above the entrance. She couldn’t see any trace of that pyramid, which meant she was deeper inside — right now, it seemed she was in some kind of wing with Greek or Roman sculptures. She didn’t recognise any of them: art history was not her area of expertise, no matter how much she loved to draw.

Directly opposite her, though, she saw a statue of two nearly naked men holding hands. In the other hand, one held a bow — the other a harp. The text underneath read, ‘CASTOR AND POLLUX — THE GEMINI TWINS’.

If only Marinette were two people. Then Adrien-san could have had the twin, and left Kagami to have the real Marinette.

She heard movement shortly thereafter, steps in the distance, and saw Adrien-san turn the corner. He raised his hand and ran closer — she pushed to her feet, so she wouldn’t just be a useless heap on the floor.

“Kagami!” he said, and wrapped her into a hug without permission. She stood stiff throughout it. “You’re okay!” — no, she decidedly was not — “And you’re here! In Paris! I’m so happy to see you!”

“Gh,” she said then, pushing him back. “You!” she barked, pointing a finger at him. “You — why — why do you have my soulmate?”

His expression, momentarily shocked, turned into a weak little smile. “... I don’t,” he said.

“Your soulmate is the exact same as mine! Marinette Dupain-Cheng, almost 14 years old, lives at 12 Rue Gotlib in the 21st arrondissement of Paris! She weighs 119.6 pounds as of eight days ago, and wears her hair in pigtails!”

“I know, but —”

“Why did we get the same soulmate? You cheated, Adrien-san, by being born so close to her, and now I can never have a fulfilling life!”

“Kagami,” he said, raising both hands. “I know this is a lot to take in, but… it’s not what you think. It’s actually — it’s very different from what you think, I promise.”

“A likely story,” she said, folding her arms, looking away from him. “You stole my soulmate from me.”

“... Aren’t you happy to see me?”

She blinked, turned to him. He stood there like a student apologising to his sensei about breaking a window.

“... It isn’t about that,” she managed, turning away again. “Of course I’m happy to see you, Adrien-san. But you don’t know how it feels to — to learn you’re five years too late to ever have a chance with the girl you’re supposed to be with.”

He sighed. “Kagami… I’m sorry. I didn’t realise soulmates were so important to you. And I definitely didn’t know you also… um. Yeah. I would have eased it on you if I did.”

She kept her arms folded.

“Look… I promise. I haven’t stolen anyone from you. It’s just… it’s hard to explain what’s going on without showing you. So, um, can you make it to school tomorrow? I’ll introduce you to everyone. I promise everything will make more sense tomorrow, okay?”

“Who is everyone,” she said.

“The class,” said Adrien-san. “And… Marinette. If she’s there. Okay?”

“What would be the point of that?” she groaned — but she did look at him this time. His twinkling blue eyes, his awkward but probably completely genuine smile.

He tipped his head, half back and half to the side. “To… get to know everyone, I guess? I promise, Kagami, you won’t regret it. Did you sign up for classes yet?”

“Yes. I won’t be registered as a student until next week.”

“Miss Bustier won’t mind if you sit in before that,” he said, scratching his arm. “Come on… do it for me?”

And of course, she had wanted to sit in. To observe Marinette. But she hadn’t had time before, and now… did she even want to see the face of the girl she couldn’t have?

But Adrien-san, who was as sweet now as he had been six years ago even though he looked very different, was far too kind to remain angry with. No, she didn’t hate him: he was her friend, and she trusted him. What she hated was the universe, for dealing her a terrible hand in everything.

“... Okay,” she sighed. “I will come to school tomorrow.”

“Great!” he said; this time, when he stepped forward again to hug her, she allowed him to. “I’m so happy you’re here, Kagami. And I promise — when you meet Marinette, you’ll love her. She’s amazing, she’s a really good friend.”

A good friend. He was preparing her for disappointment.

Well, in all honesty, she would take that disappointment now. Even if it was all a bust, she really did want to meet her soulmate.

“I hope you’re right,” she said.

He guided her outside. The sun struck down sharply on the glass of the pyramid, reflecting far and wide. The city around her stretched out into a vast sprawl, but she also saw the streets that separated those buildings. Adrien-san was there, holding her by the shoulders and pointing at the faint glittering stripe of the Seine in the distance.

For the first time since she’d arrived, Paris felt… like something other than a mess.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She made sure to finish all the work she could that night, so she could be up in time for school the next morning. Most of it was done anyway — unless Mother was going to create even more work for her, which was always a strong possibility. But of the things she knew needed to be done, all of them were completed by the time she went to bed. She hung up the laundry, she made dinner and took a plate to Mother’s room, she did the dishes and she took out the trash. She even dusted the kitchen lightly.

And then she slept, and woke up in good time to get to school early the next day. Collège Françoise Dupont was ten minutes away on foot, so there was no need for Tatsu now that she wasn’t in an absolute hurry; instead, she walked, to acquaint herself with the look of the neighbourhood. It was overcast, but there didn’t seem to be any danger of rain.

Also, she walked because it would give her more time to prepare herself.

Today was the day she would meet Marinette. It would also be the day she met her soon-to-be classmates. And it would be the day Adrien-san told her what was going on — and what it meant when he said he hadn’t stolen Marinette from her.

It went without saying that she was concerned. Concern was in every footstep she took, pumped from her toes as they pushed her along the pavements. If this was something that was hard to explain without ‘showing’ her… then that alone was enough to raise multiple alarms.

Her concern only grew more intense when the school building crept into view — the same building she visited yesterday — that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that to get there, she would need to pass by a certain bakery.

It was the address where Marinette lived. Somewhere up on the floors above, Kagami’s soulmate lived, perhaps unaware that two people were her soulmate.

It was like the news story she had read years ago. About the Parisian boy who had received two soulmates, except this was the exact inverse of that. But… being on the other side from Marinette, it only felt like she was being robbed of something that should have been hers.

Everyone received an ordained romantic companion from the Universe, someone who could fill out the gaps in them and make them whole. That was what it was like in all the stories, and that was — somewhat — how it had worked for her parents. Your soulmate was a perfect match. And yet, she had received a half soulmate.

Maybe that meant she had fewer gaps in her that needed filling. But it sure didn’t feel that way to her. Her entire chest felt like a gap, other than her thumping heart.

And why was Adrien-san’s version of Marinette’s spirit an acrobatic prodigy, while her own was so clumsy she could stumble over her own legs?

Kagami sighed, and went back to walking. She wasn’t going to find anything out standing here — she would have to actually go to school and listen to Adrien-san. The alternative was to visit Marinette in person at her house, which was entirely out of the question at this point in time.

The time was 09:05 when she stepped into the courtyard again, the same one where she’d fenced the day before. It was even more full today, with all kinds of students milling around, and not a single trace of the fencing that happened yesterday. Many students were caught in conversations with each other, either with one other person or in larger groups; the largest must have at least a dozen. There were also people just walking around, most of them headed up or down the stairs to upper floors.

She walked in. Some eyes followed her, but she wasn’t intending on talking to anyone that Adrien-san didn’t introduce her to. It wasn’t that she didn’t want friends; rather, she needed her search for friends to be safer than random chance. If Adrien-san vetted them as safe, then she would perform far better than by chatting up complete strangers.

When she stepped into his classroom, though, she was met by only complete strangers. There was a blonde white girl with a ponytail seated next to a red-haired white girl in glasses on the front row on the far side; behind them sat a freckled white boy who was both wide and tall. Then a pale blonde girl dressed in pink sitting next to a paler, tall black-haired girl behind him, and then an empty row; on the opposite side to that sat a tan girl with long brown hair and a skinny white red-haired boy. A short pink-haired girl in a black cap sat ahead of them, and then ahead of her a black girl in plaid and a black boy with a red cap and headphones. The front row next to Kagami was completely empty, but the seats there were marked with respectively red and yellow tape.

Every eye in the room turned towards her nonetheless, though. Not immediately, but as she remained standing by the entrance, more and more of the room’s attention fell to her. The conversations that were so lively when she stood just outside, now fell into hushed whispers.

“Er, are you lost?” someone asked, she didn’t register who.

And then —

“Hey, Kagami!” said Adrien-san’s voice. She turned to face him, and he was already hugging her by the time she had done a full 180 degrees. “You came!”

A little flustered, she mumbled back, “Of course I came…”

“Yeah, but it’s good to see you anyway,” he said, disengaging.

He did not have Marinette’s spirit out. Nor did he have the real Marinette with him on his arm.

“Hey, Adrien, who’s the new girlfriend?” said someone — the girl in plaid, who was grinning widely as she glanced between him and Kagami. “Finally moved on from Marinette, have you?”

“Not a girlfriend!” said Adrien-san hurriedly, raising his palm. “She’s an old friend, that’s all! She just moved here from Japan.”

“Uh-huh,” said the girl. “You’re a horrible liar, Adrien.”

“It’s true!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” said the girl and rolled her eyes. “You’re more faithful than most of us.” She turned her head to Kagami then, added, “Hey there, uh, Kagami? That was your name, right?”

“Yes,” said Kagami.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Alya, and this is Nino.” The boy next to her nodded and added a ‘Yeah’, though when he did, he looked like he was terrified. “New student, or just visiting Adrien?”

“She’s starting next week,” said Adrien-san, patting Kagami’s shoulder. “But I wanted her to come visit today, because… it’s happened again.”

Alya-san raised her eyebrows. “What’s happened aga— oh, no, you don’t mean… ?”

“Yup,” sighed Adrien-san. “Exactly.”

“Did you debrief h—”

Kagami was about to interrupt and ask what on Earth they were talking about, and why they were being so cryptic — but before Alya-san could even finish her sentence, another voice sounded from the entrance. “Oh! Who’s this?”

She turned, hoping that the voice would turn out to belong to Marinette. Instead, it turned out to belong to an adult — a white freckled woman in maybe her early thirties, with red hair pulled back into a bun. She had a stack of papers as well as some books in her arms.

“This is Kagami!” said Adrien-san. “She’s my friend. She’s joining school next week… that’s right, isn’t it? I’m not remembering wrong?”

“Yes,” said Kagami. “Next week.”

“I just invited her to sit in with us today. Is that okay?”

“Ah! Yes, that should be fine…” said the sensei, moving over to her desk to drop off what she was carrying. “Although right now everyone will be doing a history test… are you fine just sitting in to observe for the first period? You’ll have to be quiet and not disturb anyone.”

Kagami looked around the room. A couple more students had entered now, including a tall Asian boy in a red sweater and a short white girl with dreadlocks pulled back by a bandana. But even so, there was still no sign of the most important person.

“Yes,” she said. “Where is Marinette?”

“She’s often late,” said Alya-san. “Don’t worry, she’ll be here.”

“Actually, she’s called in a day off today,” said the sensei. “The usual. But she should be back tomorrow.”

Kagami frowned. ‘The usual’? What did that mean? Well, whatever it was, it meant she wouldn’t get to meet Marinette today after all. The prospect of waiting while everyone else took a test suddenly seemed a lot less appetising.

But clearly, that didn’t matter, because Adrien-san grabbed her by the arm. “Come on, Kagami, you can sit with me. Front row.”

“Uh, dude,” said the boy with headphones. “You know what the front row is for.”

“Yeah,” said the girl with a black cap. “Marinette’s spot. Don’t grab it for your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” snapped Adrien-san, red in the face.

“Go sit at the back instead,” said Alya-san. “You can sit there together. No use sitting at the front anyway if Marinette’s not here, right?”

“Yes, go to the back, Adrien,” said the sensei. “Behind Kim, I think. For today. We’ll go over seating arrangements again later. Okay?”

Adrien-san groaned. “Okay…”

And soon, Kagami found herself pulled up the classroom until they came to the very back row, catching stray glances from everyone and waves or smiles from some, until Adrien-san let go of her so he could scooch into the row behind the Asian boy. She hesitated for a moment before she followed, adjusting her skirt carefully so it wouldn’t ride up along the way. As she went in, the sensei tapped the desk in front for attention.

“Okay, everyone! We’re going to be testing you on the Napoleonic wars today. Try especially to remember the videos we watched earlier this week. Oh — and as usual, you’re allowed to use your soulmate during the test, as long as she doesn’t disturb anyone else.”

‘She.’ Huh.

“I’m handing out the papers now. Don’t turn them over until I say it’s time.”

Adrien-san put his hand on Kagami’s wrist. She stared at him, surprised — he mouthed something that she couldn’t recognise, but didn’t let go of the wrist even as the sensei came up with his test sheet and slipped it to him.

“What are you —” she started to whisper, but he put a finger to his lips.

Then a spot of blue appeared in the corner of her eye, and Adrien-san pointed towards it, shaking his head.

She looked.

She stared.

Because two, no three, people had now summoned soulmates to their side. And all of them were… Marinette.

“Adrien-san, what —”

“Silence, please!” said the sensei, clapping her hands. “Everyone has their tests now, right? You can turn them around… now!”

Even more Marinettes appeared. Not everyone summoned soulmates — only about half the classroom did — but every soulmate in the room was a Marinette. They had the same hair, the same milky-glow eyes, the same neck, the same clothes, the same shoulders.

Adrien-san let go of Kagami’s wrist. She looked at him, but he was already focused on the test.

Then again, she didn’t need him to say anything to figure out what he meant yesterday, when he said it was easier to show her than explain. Because even if this had been explained to her, she wouldn’t have believed it.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, of 12 Rue Gotlib, Paris, had at least eight soulmates. And all of them had beaten Kagami to the punch.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Before you ask, no, the whole class doesn’t have Marinette for a soulmate,” said Alya-san.

“Most of them do, but it’s not a requirement for joining the class or anything,” said Alix-san, the girl with the pink hair.

“I see,” said Kagami.

She was still on the backmost bench, next to Adrien-san, but the bell had rung for break. As a result, a group of students had broken away to greet this unfamiliar newcomer that was Kagami — they stood in a half circle in front of her, or were sat on nearby benches, or (in the case of Alix-san) were lying on their back on Kagami’s desk, kicking her legs out into the empty air.

“I feel kind of left out, honestly,” said Mylène-san, the short girl with dreadlocks and a bandana. “I wish I could have Marinette too. Not that I don’t like Ivan!” She gave the tall boy beside her a side hug. “But… it feels weird not to have her?”

“It feels more weird to have her, honestly,” said Nathaniel-san, clicking his pen a few times; he was the redheaded boy.

“Well, you’re gay,” said Alix-san.

“Exactly!”

“So tell me,” said Kagami. “How many people in this class have Marinette as their soulmate?”

“Ten,” said Adrien-san. He held up his fingers to count. “Alya, Nino, Ivan, Nathaniel, Juleka… Kim, Max, Chloé, me of course, and Lila. That’s ten, and plus you it’s going to be eleven.”

“I don’t have Marinette,” protested Lila-san, the tan girl, who had not summoned up her soulmate during the test. “She just looks very similar. I think it’s actually Ladybug’s secret identity.”

Adrien-san rolled his eyes at her protest. But even though it was obvious he wanted to contradict her, he didn’t. “It’s even worse than that, too,” he said. “Have you heard of Jagged Stone? Rock musician. His guitarist, Vivica, also has Marinette for a soulmate.”

Juleka-san, the pale black-haired girl, raised her hand. “My brother, too…”

“My useless half sister, who lives in New York, also has Marinette,” called out Chloé-san — the ponytailed blonde — from the front row. She hadn’t otherwise tried to join in on the conversation. “Hah! Like she’ll have a chance.”

“Also, Aurore Beauréal from the grade below us, and Théo Barbot who left for lycée last year,” added Rose-san, the girl with pink clothes; she was currently nuzzling up to Juleka-san.

“And there was that girl who visited last year, right?” said Nino-san. “What was her name?”

“Fei,” said Rose-san.

Adrien-san nodded. “Yeah. She’s a family friend, apparently, but she lives in China.”

“There might be even more,” said Nathaniel-san. “But those are the ones we know of.”

Kagami was still barely holding on to the people in class. Everything else just floated by her. Marinette had… eleven, twelve, thirteen… seventeen soulmates, possibly more. Most of them had already met her. She was surrounded on all sides by soulmates; her class alone was two thirds’ worth of them. And for whatever reason, she occupied two seats in the front row, one with red tape and one with green.

It almost made her want to give up. But only almost.

She might have sixteen competitors. And a lot of them had spent far longer with Marinette than her — meaning, any length of time at all. Regardless, she needed to have Marinette. She needed escape from Mother, from home, from chores. She wanted her promised soulmate, no matter how many obstacles were put in her way. And now that she knew all sixteen of them would have had reduced time to spend with her, the challenge of doing better than them didn’t seem so daunting anymore.

“Who is Marinette’s soulmate?” she asked, trying her best to keep her voice level.

“We actually… don’t know, I think?” replied Alya-san. She looked across the others; a number of them shook their heads. “Yeah. She’s never shown her soulmate to anyone, as far as we can tell.”

“Never summons any spirit ever. We asked her to all the time in sixième but she never wanted to show,” said Nino-san.

Rose-san sighed. “I get it, though. I’d be scared of telling anyone if I had so many soulmates. I bet she’s afraid of disappointing people.”

“Or maybe she just hasn’t met the right person yet,” said Ivan-san.

“Maybe her soulmate didn’t want her, so she renounced him,” said Kim-san.

“Or maybe she’s smart and just doesn’t want to date anyone,” said Alix-san, raising two thumbs.

They were so… spineless. So blasé. They had a soulmate, and the soulmate was in their class, and nobody had yet taken her. Not successfully, at least. Nobody had done what you should do with a soulmate: demand to be given what was yours.

And besides… soulmates were supposed to be matched. Mother and Father had been matched. Midori-san was matched with her soulmate, and Aoi-san was probably the same, though after she’d left for Saga they had talked very little. The entire idea of a soulmate was to be that perfect other, and you could only be perfect for one other person.

There must be some mistake. A fault in their guiding stars, something that made everyone think they had Marinette, even though they didn’t. That was the only rational explanation.

“Honestly,” said Nathaniel-san, throwing one leg over the other while he sat. “Sometimes I think Marinette’s just a dozen different people in a trenchcoat.”

“That’s silly, Nath.”

“More silly than, what, twenty folks all having the same soulmate? Including a total gay?”

“Several total gays,” mumbled Juleka-san, just barely raising her hand.

“Gay girls don’t count. It’s less weird if you’re soulmated with a girl.”

“Ahem,” said Adrien-san, speaking it as a word rather than actually clearing his throat. Everyone else quieted down and turned their heads to him. “Kagami. Are you planning on… you-know-what with Marinette?”

Kagami frowned at him. “I know what?”

“You know. Do you want to date Marinette?”

She almost broke the laws of causality with how quickly she said “Yes.” in response.

He smiled, but he didn’t really seem happy about it. “Well, then you should know, we have a bit of a setup. Everyone in class gets a week… meaning five days, Monday to Friday, each with her, on rotation. And we do that until she decides who to go with. That way, everyone gets to spend time with her, and she comes with us for extracurriculars. It’s my week right now… who’s next week?”

“Me,” said Chloé-san from the first row.

A rotation. That was just unacceptable. Kagami must have Marinette, all the time, all to herself.

But it would be unwise to say that in company with so many others. So she said nothing, and just let them discuss their little schemes amongst themselves. Her own scheme would be to meet Marinette, and so thoroughly woo the girl that she couldn’t possibly choose anyone else. No matter what the universe said about everyone else, Kagami would have Marinette, and she would work her hardest to make sure of that.

Maybe Marinette also had her as a soulmate. Maybe that was why Marinette hadn’t revealed her spirit in public yet, because Kagami just hadn’t been around. Yes… maybe…

Kagami raised her hand, interrupting the discussion, which had moved to the topic of when she should get her first week while she had been pondering her own plans. “Excuse me,” she said. “What is Marinette like?”

“What’s Marinette like?” said Alya-san, eyes wide.

“Yes. What is she like.”

“Well…” Alya-san scratched her head. “She’s nice. Very nice.”

“Helpful,” said Nino-san.

“Lovely,” mumbled Juleka-san.

“Anxious,” said Adrien-san.

“She’s not anxious if you’re not her soulmate,” sighed Alix-san. “It’s you guys stressing her out.”

“Shut up, Kubdel,” sounded Chloé-san’s voice from the front row.

“Your mom should shut up,” said Alix-san.

There was a collective sigh from the people around Kagami. “That would be lovely, actually,” said Rose-san.

“Oh! Marinette’s very smart,” said Kim-san.

“Except when she’s thick as a brick,” said Max-san.

“Yes, well —”

“She’s both, at the same time,” said Nino-san.

“But mostly she’s thick,” said Alix-san.

“She’s resourceful, though,” said Alya-san. “Lots of hobbies.”

“Clumsy as all get out,” said Nathaniel-san.

“Very pretty,” said Juleka-san.

Kagami was starting to think it was useless to have asked in the first place. This was about as valuable for gaining information as asking Mother to explain her job.

“She’s brave, too,” said Adrien-san.

“Not about spiders. She’s very scared of crawlies,” said Kim-san.

“I don’t think she’s all that clumsy,” said Mylène-san. “Maybe a little.”

“She helps me keep my balance when I fence,” said Adrien-san.

Kagami definitely regretted having asked. It was pointless either way — she should get to know Marinette by getting to know Marinette, not by asking her friends to explain her. “I get the picture,” she said.

“Pictures! She can paint,” said Rose-san, the first interesting detail Kagami had heard thus far.

“Really?” said Nathaniel-san. “I’ve never seen that —” well, so much for that lead.

“You’re going to love her,” said Alya-san.

“You’re going to hate her,” said Chloé-san. “Just give up.”

“Don’t listen to Chloé,” said Alix-san.

“You should always listen to me!”

Alix-san rolled her eyes, which was a funny look for her while she was lying on her back. Several of the others sighed. The conversation turned into not much at all, at least in terms of words being spoken, and several of the others ended up looking either at each other or at Kagami, as though expecting someone else to continue.

And to be honest, Kagami did have a question that she felt burned nearly as much as the question of Marinette. She saw the question in how Ivan-san caressed Mylène-san’s head.

“Excuse me for asking,” she said, though she thought she didn’t need to be excused in this regard. “But if Marinette is your soulmate, why do you do this?” She pointed towards Ivan-san’s hand.

He seemed surprised at the question; his hand, which was genuinely the size of Mylène-san’s head, stopped moving. “Huh?”

“She means the dating outside soulmates thing,” said Alix-san.

“Because only one can have Marinette,” said Rose-san, digging further into Juleka-san’s side. “So it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

“But soulmates are your perfect half!” said Kagami, quite wrongly; their soulmate was Kagami’s perfect half.

“Yep!” said Rose-san, and waved her hand. A ghostly replica of Juleka-san appeared at her side. “Juleka is my perfect half. Even if I’m not hers.”

Juleka-san called her Marinette to her side, too, and rubbed Rose-san’s shoulder. “Ys,” she mumbled.

“But…” said Kagami, blinking between the two summoned spirits. This was just nonsense — it must all be an elaborate prank. Something that should not be abided. She was happy for any obstacle removed from her path to reach Marinette, but how was any of this even happening?

Ivan-san did the same thing as Juleka-san; an exactly similar Marinette, exactly alike to Kagami’s too, turned up standing on the desk behind him. As if cued, Mylène-san called her own soulmate: a large figure that could only be Ivan-san, standing in the space between the desks.

“I’m not tryna get Marinette,” said Ivan-san, half swallowing his words. “Marinette helped bring me’n Mylène together. She’s a good friend.” A slight bit of redness tinted his cheeks; the colour only intensified when Mylène-san hugged his arm to her side.

“Maybe that’s why she’s your soulmate,” she said. “She helped you find your true love.”

“But — a soulmate is your true love!” protested Kagami. “The red string of fate. Unmei no akai ito ni shitagatte. You’re supposed to be bound together.”

“Maybe,” said Rose-san. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t make other friends.”

Friends? That wasn’t what this was about at all. This was about romance.

“She got me and Marc together too. Marc’s my boyfriend,” said Nathaniel-san. “But yeah, I don’t get it either. I wish I had Marc, that way it would be less weird when I bring the soulmate out when we’re writing our comic. It feels like she’s third wheeling.” Alya-san snorted at that.

“So… who here is actively pursuing Marinette as a romantic interest?” said Kagami. She was honestly close to giving up again, but not with Marinette — rather, with soulmates as an idea. This was just a very large scoop of nonsensical pabble, and she couldn’t decide what the problem even was: that there were seventeen soulmates for Marinette, that some of the soulmates didn’t even want her, that so many of the soulmates did want her and were therefore competition, or — or the fact that she couldn’t even tell if this was an illusion. That they all might have her soulmate, or they might not and this was all a prank, or a misconception, a something-else.

“She’s mine,” said Chloé-san from the front row. “Everyone else should back off.”

“I — uh, I also want her,” said Adrien-san. He raised his hand, but slowly, as though he was afraid to admit it. Several others also raised their hand with him.

“Us too,” said Alya-san, hooking Nino-san’s arm with her own. Nino-san grinned awkwardly, but his hand was also up. “We don’t mind a third wheel. A tricycle’s more balanced than a bicycle, right?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Kagami spotted Lila raising her hand too — but only for a second. It was like she didn’t want to be seen to do it.

“I also participate,” said Max-san, though he had not raised his hand. “I want to explore my options, so that I don’t foreclose on a life-changing opportunity without giving it a chance.”

“And Juleka’s in!” said Rose-san; Juleka-san’s hand was either not up, or it was so low up that it might as well be down. “She wants to try her best too!”

“And if Marinette never decides, I’m challenging everyone to a race for her, and I’m gonna win,” said Kim-san, whose hand was possibly raised the highest out of everyone’s. “How about you, Kagami?”

“I already said,” said Kagami, entirely unimpressed with his bravado. “I will win her.”

“Then you better run fast!”

Max-san cleared his throat. “In total, including Kagami, we have eight candidates for Marinette’s heart.”

“Nine,” interjected Lila-san. “Even though I was so cruelly denied Marinette as a soulmate…”

“Yes, nine. I apologise, Lila. That means there is an 11.11% chance of winning her.”

“Don’t forget the people who aren’t in our class,” said Mylène-san. “They also have a chance…”

“Yes, well, they also exist,” said Max-san, half-murmuring the last part of the sentence. “But it’s harder to do the maths in my head for seventeen people…”

And that of course meant that even more of Marinette's time would be monopolised, and that Kagami would have even fewer chances to woo her and confirm that she was the best option.

But that didn't matter. Kagami would win. She would claim Marinette's heart, and nobody else. She would defeat everyone in this room, and take Marinette's hand and together walk into the sunset of death when their time on Earth came to an end.

“I will engage Marinette,” said Kagami. “With a ring.”

Someone snorted. But before anyone could say anything else, the bell chimed, and everyone dispersed back to their seats.

Adrien-san walked her home that day. They walked slowly, because he wanted to point at things and say what they were - which was entirely unnecessary, because he never once pointed and said ‘Oh, there's Marinette!’

“So… what did you think?” he said, in a quiet moment.

“About what?” said Kagami.

“About… school, I guess,” he said, giggling nervously. “The others in class. The… soulmate thing.”

“I will destroy you in the competition for Marinette's heart.”

He didn't protest. He was far too meek, far too stumbling. Like when he fenced, he wasn't aggressive enough, he didn't have the steady feet that would let him strike out for victory.

“I… hope you get to spend a lot of time with her,” he said a little while later. “She really is an amazing person. But she's kind of stressed out a lot… Miss Bustier gives her one day off every week for home reasons.”

She frowned at him. “Home reasons?”

“Yes. I don’t really know what they are, most of the time… maybe she’s helping around the bakery?”

The bakery, which they’d passed three minutes ago. Maybe there would have been a chance of seeing her…

“We should turn around,” she said, stopping in the middle of the pavement. “I want to see her.”

When she stopped, he’d walked ahead a few more steps before he caught on. Now he turned around to look at her. “I, er… I think we should probably leave her be today,” he said.

“Why? I have yet to meet her. I need to meet the girl I will spend the rest of my life with.” She couldn’t help the defiance from crawling into her tone.

“I just think…” Adrien-san was obviously hesitating. His eyes drifted away, down to his feet. “I think she just wants to be alone today, maybe. It’s my week to be with her, and she already messaged me and said she didn’t want to see anyone until Friday.”

“Why? She is supposed to be yours for the week, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, I guess, but… she’s just like this sometimes. It’s personal stuff. And… please don’t hate me, Kagami.”

She folded her arms. “Why would I hate you?”

“I meant, er.” He grimaced. “Please don’t hate me when I tell you this.”

“Tell me what?” Something about his expression made her heart race uncomfortably.

“You know, yesterday… when we duelled… I told you my soulmate was there, right?”

A lightbulb flickered in Kagami’s memory. “Yes. You did. I did not get to meet her there, either.”

He shook his head solemnly. “Actually, she was the one who hooked you into the scoring machine. And… she was the one who was watching when we finished the duel.”

Kagami felt like something large had just slammed into her. Marinette had been there? Had been so close, had even touched her back, had stood on the sidelines to observe the victory that was stolen? That sounded like good news, but — Adrien-san didn’t sound like he was delivering good news at all.

“And when you summoned her spirit in the library,” he went on, before drawing a deep breath. “She screamed and ran away.”

No — Kagami hadn’t been slammed into by something large before. The large thing was slamming into her now, with all the force of a wrecking ball. “… What?”

“I don’t think it’s your fault!” he said, holding up his palms towards her. “I think she’s just… stressed, you know? I don’t think she was expecting to find out she had one more soulmate all of a sudden. But I think maybe she’s a little out of it today because of that. So I don’t think it’s a good idea to… put pressure on her, y’know?”

“Are you telling me she — that she doesn’t want me?” Kagami could already feel her voice shattering.

“No! That’s not it at all. I’m sure she’ll love you once you meet properly! But she gets overwhelmed easily, so I think once she gets a day to herself she’ll be okay to meet you properly. It’s not about you at all. I’m sure of it.”

But that wasn’t true at all. Marinette already had sixteen soulmates. If she ran away at the sight of another one, that meant she wouldn’t accept Kagami. It wasn’t that Adrien-san had taken her soulmate, it was that her soulmate had been divided into sixteen pieces and distributed to everyone else before she even had a chance for a first meeting.

And Adrien-san, stupid and nervous and naïve little Adrien-san, was either trying too much to be kind — or he was ignorant to reality.

“I think I,” she fought to keep her voice steady, “want to walk the rest of the way h-home… alone.”

Adrien-san, still stupid and nervous and naïve, stared at her with wide eyes. “You do?”

“Yes. Please don’t follow me.”

“Um… but we live right next to each other now.”

“I will walk faster. Don’t follow me.”

“… If you say so,” he said. “Er… I’ll see you tomorrow, then? At school?”

She turned around to walk away before she answered. And she didn’t look over her shoulder, either.

“Maybe,” she said, and it was maybe loud enough for him to hear, maybe not.

Then she set off for home, walking as fast as she could without running.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Was it even a home?

Sure, she lived here now. She had spent days’ worth of effort making sure she could live here. If anywhere was home, this was the only place that would count, and home in Tokyo hadn’t felt any better, safer, more loved. But now that she knew Paris wouldn’t give her the soulmate she had expected, she had no reason to turn this place any more homely.

She took off her outside shoes and changed into her inside shoes. There was an unfamiliar pair of shoes on the rack: they must belong to Cheng-san. Her workday started…

… almost an hour ago. It was currently fourteen minutes to five in the afternoon.

There was no sound that Kagami could hear, though. She moved downstairs, towards the laundry room, wondering if Cheng-san would be there — but that turned out not to be the case. She walked up to the kitchen next, but Cheng-san wasn’t there, either.

Kagami stopped there. She was in the room where she belonged. Now that she was without a soulmate, she was doomed to keep doing chores for the rest of her life. Cheng-san wouldn’t be needed after all, because Kagami would have to keep the house for her mother, and then she would have to keep the house for herself, because nobody else would be there to help her.

She might as well get to cleaning. If nothing else, she could join Cheng-san and help her get things done quicker, so that Cheng-san wouldn’t have to stay in this fetid pustulous space longer than necessary.

The sink first. There were several dishes soaking in it: two pans, some cutlery, five plates of various sizes, the remnants of yesterday’s food, and a little bit from Tuesday. She had left them behind, because they would be Cheng-san’s job now, but now there was no point.

She poured the water out, and there was no point in that either. She moved the dishes to the side, and the point remained absent. She filled the sink with water and added dish soap, and things remained the same in the point department.

Maybe she could use Marinette to help her. If she wasn’t going to get the real Marinette, then the least the universe could do for her would be to let her use Marinette’s soul to quicken up the dishes. For five years, she had been afraid to use Marinette for anything practical, or anything related to school: she didn’t know what Marinette liked, what Marinette was good at, what Marinette was bad at. All she knew was that Marinette was clumsy, and that meant she would be ill suited for any practical task — but Adrien-san’s Marinette had been agile and well-balanced. If she tried to let Marinette help her with the dishes, would she be able to do them faster, or safer?

If she let Marinette try —

She concentrated, and Marinette’s spirit appeared. Blank, milky eyes; lean arms with tiny hands; a tiny button nose and lips that must be pink in real life. She looked exactly the same as she always had. She wore the same style of clothes. She stared with the same dopey expression.

Kagami sniffled. Her eyes stung, at first just a little, then more and more. The universe must have played a prank on her: it gave Adrien-san a good and helpful Marinette, because he would win her, and it gave Kagami a bad and clumsy Marinette because she would lose. She never stood a chance.

She never —

She had drawn Marinette so many times. Her sketchbook was filled with praise for this girl she had never met and could never have as her own, and who had run away the moment she learned they were soulmates. Kagami had held Marinette’s spirit’s hands and whispered in her ears, had gone to sleep with her arms around her in bed, had dreamed and dreamed and wished and wished that one day they would be together.

But it was all crumbling. Kagami would be stuck forever with the ghost of the real thing.

She —

The tears overtook her. And she threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around Marinette’s spirit and she wept bitterly, wracked by sobs, and she pushed her eyes as shut as she could get them and she squeezed with her arms as hard as she could and somehow, Marinette hugged her back. It was a half hug, it was a joke at her expense, it was the universe laughing at her again because Marinette’s spirit’s arms weren’t warm like a real person’s, but — she couldn’t let go. She bawled, wanting nothing more than for today to be over, so that she wouldn’t need to abide it any longer. And it was painful and it was embarrassing and it was the only thing she was physically capable of doing.

She stood there for a while, until it hurt a little less. Then she let go, ran her sleeves across her eyes, and turned to find the paper towels on the counter.

Which was when she saw Cheng-san standing there, holding the roll in her hands.

“Here,” said Cheng-san. She didn’t seem mocking, or judgemental. There was a tiny smile on her lips, and her eyes were gentle. “You need these.”

Kagami hesitated, but only for a moment. Then she ripped free two sheets and blew her nose on them.

“What’s wrong, dear?”

“I… had a bad day at school,” said Kagami. There was no need to give out all the details.

“I see,” said Cheng-san, still smiling mildly. “Can I do anything to help you?”

Kagami blew her nose again. “No. I don’t think you can…”

“Would a hug from a real person help?”

The question felt horrible. Like a joke at her expense. The universe telling her again, through the housekeeper’s mouth, that Marinette would never be real. But looking into Cheng-san’s eyes there didn’t seem to be a trace of mockery in her, nor even a hint of sadistic pleasure.

“Yes,” Kagami whispered, her voice cracking again.

And then Cheng-san hugged her, close and warm and soft, but also firm and powerful. It was the first hug she had ever received from an adult — the first time an adult had ever comforted her. The tears started again.

“Did someone bully you at school?”

Kagami clutched Cheng-san’s shoulders. “N-no,” she mumbled.

“Did you get a bad result?”

“I, I haven’t been registered as a student yet…”

“What made today a bad day, then?” said Cheng-san, oozing kindness and attentiveness. “Would you like to tell me?”

No. No, she wouldn’t. There was no need to tell anyone something so private only the second time she met them, but also Cheng-san’s embrace was so kind, and yes.

“My soulmate,” Kagami said, breathlessly. “I found out I can never have her.”

“Ah,” said Cheng-san. “I should have guessed when I saw the two of you… you met her at fencing, didn’t you?”

Kagami’s blood froze. She pushed herself free from the hug, stared into Sabine’s eyes. “How do you know that?”

There was something about Cheng-san’s expression that felt different from before the hug started. An undertone that made it look like she suddenly hadn’t slept enough. “She is my daughter,” she said.

Cheng. Dupain-Cheng. Her husband owned a bakery next to the collège. Everything suddenly clicked in her head. “You are Marinette’s mother?”

“I am,” said Cheng-san, half-sighing the words; she waved at Marinette’s spirit, as though calling her over, and Marinette’s spirit responded. “I am her proud, tired, sad, worried, blessed mother. Hello, honey,” she went on, and took the spirit’s hand.

“But… I didn’t realise…”

Was there a hint of bitterness in Cheng-san’s chuckle? “Don’t worry, dear,” she said. “I don’t expect a newcomer to know every name in Paris before coming here. But yes, Marinette is my cherished daughter.”

“Then… do you mind that she is my soulmate?”

“Ah, that’s a difficult question to answer.” Cheng-san pulled the spirit closer and hugged it to her side. “I don’t mind at all that many people love my daughter. Any mother would be thrilled. And don’t get me wrong,” here she smiled directly at Kagami, “I don’t mind you at all. I don’t know much about you, but I can tell that you are kind and welcoming. And diligent.”

The last part was added with a nod to the now-filled sink. Kagami felt a blush burn her cheeks.

“However, I don’t know if I like that she gets spread so thin,” Cheng-san went on. “Have you ever felt empty inside? Like a part of you is missing? I have sometimes. And I don’t know for sure, but I worry that it’s because someone has summoned my spirit somewhere I can’t see them. And then I think about my little daughter, and I wonder if maybe, having so many soulmates means she feels that way far more often. Or maybe far more strongly…”

Cheng-san didn’t seem accusatory. But Kagami felt like an arrow had been shot straight through her spine. She turned her hand, and Marinette’s soul disappeared straight away.

“I apologise profusely, Cheng-san,” Kagami said, bowing deep. “I didn’t realise.”

“Call me Sabine, dear. And don’t worry about it — I don’t even know if it’s a problem. I just fuss a lot, as mothers do.”

As mothers do…

Well, it didn’t matter. Kagami had felt sorry for herself for two days now, just because she didn’t have exclusive access to Marinette — and she hadn’t even once thought about Marinette in all of that, except as a reward, as an endgoal.

“I still apologise,” she said, staying bowed. “I have been deeply inconsiderate towards you and your daughter, Cheng-san.”

“Sabine. I give you complete permission to use my first name.” Cheng-san — Sabine-san — folded her arms; Kagami saw the motion of the arms but not the expression on the woman’s face.

“Sabine-san.”

“Don’t bother with the honorifics, either,” Sabine-san went on in a semi-chuckle. “I’m your employee, not someone honourable.”

Kagami cleared her throat, still not unbowing. “I consider the mother of my soulmate to be honourable regardless of her station.”

Sabine-san — or Sabine — sighed quietly at that. “Well… I suppose I appreciate your manners. But you don’t need to honour me at all, and please stop bowing to me. I’m just a housekeeper.”

“As you wish,” said Kagami and unbowed — she was starting to feel it in her lower back anyway.

When she stood up again, though, she could see Sabine-san’s expression. It was inquisitive, bursting with questions, but there was also a gentler layer on top. Like she would rein her questions in.

Kagami wondered if Marinette was also like that. Warm and open, and willing to give out hugs. Able to do housework. Friendly. No, not even friendly — motherly. Like a mother.

“You said you found out today you can never have her,” said Sabine. She was clearly ginger about asking the question, drawing the words out to not sound too forward. “Why do you think that?”

Right — they were back to that. There was still a stinging behind Kagami’s eyes just from thinking about it, but… it shouldn’t matter. She had always dreamed of a soulmate, had dreamed for five years about the soulmate being Marinette, had dreamed about the real and coloured-in and not-translucent Marinette carrying her outside in her arms and into a house where they were only the two of them, had dreamed and dreamed without considering the reality that lay before her.

And the universe was unfair to give her a soulmate she could never have, because there was a queue of sixteen people ahead of her, and she knew she deserved to love someone and be loved back by them. And the universe was also cruel to give Marinette so many soulmates that it stressed her out, maybe even drained her soul — if what Sabine-san was saying was true. It was terrible and awful and it shouldn’t be.

But she still dreamed. She still wanted to be loved. Maybe it would even be enough to be loved, like a child, by this mother who had showed up in her home.

“If you know from Marinette that I fence, you also know why I can’t have her,” she said, a lump in her throat.

“I don’t think that’s true,” said Sabine. She didn’t sound unsympathetic, but the words in themselves felt like a cruel joke.

“She has seventeen soulmates. I’m far too late to have a chance with her. Everyone at school takes turns dating her for a week… and when she saw me, she screamed and ran away.”

“I can tell you for a fact that my Marinette still has no idea who she wants to go with,” said Sabine-san. Her expression gave the impression that she was rolling her eyes, even though she wasn’t, and even though it would have been the kindest and least judgemental eyeroll ever performed. “That girl is indecisive as the day is long. And if she screamed at you, that’s only because she was surprised.”

No — that couldn’t be. Kagami had viciously attacked one of her other soulmates. Even if that didn’t scare her, then the akumatisation afterwards must have done it. If Marinette weren’t scared, she would have come to school today. If Marinette were okay with having so many soulmates, she would not be so stressed out that she needed home days to get away from people. Because why else would she have home days?

“I still can’t have her,” said Kagami and tried to swallow, but the lump made it a painful attempt. “She must hate me.”

Sabine shook her head slowly. “That’s not my Marinette. She won’t hate you. She only ran away because she gets overwhelmed easily, I promise.” She sighed, then said, “Are you interested in having her?”

“Y-yes.” No. Not any more. Not if there was no room for her in Marinette’s heart, or no hand of Marinette’s for her to hold. But the wish was too strong to say that out loud.

“Then why don’t you come to her birthday party on Saturday? You can meet her properly, and maybe you’ll hit it off. We’re celebrating at Place des Vosges, right outside the bakery.”

Kagami sniffed. “No — that would be awkward. I can’t.”

“I am inviting you personally, Kagami. You are very welcome. And Marinette would love to get to know you, I’m sure.”

“That’s not true.”

Another chuckle. “Let’s see about that,” said Sabine-san — and then, she pulled out her phone and started to call somebody. Kagami could see the name on the screen: it was ‘Marinette’, and the call was set on speaker.

Horror filled the quiet between the beeping sounds. They echoed like ghostly whispers of doom between the walls of the kitchen. And Kagami couldn’t protest, because every piece of her throat was frozen in panic.

Beep — beep — beep — beep. And then —

“Hello? Mum?”

It was such a lovely voice. Despite the tinny tone from the connection, Kagami knew it was a voice she would love to hear more of. In a way, it sounded like Sabine’s, but just a little brighter and with just a little less air.

“Hello, dear,” said Sabine. She held the phone out into the room, clearly wanting Kagami to hear everything. “I’m here with the girl you met at fencing yesterday. The one who has you as a soulmate.” There was a sharp intake of air from the other side. “She’s a little worried that you hate her. But you don’t, do you?”

There was a pause. Then: “… No. I don’t hate her at all, um… no, absolutely not.”

“Would you like to get to know her?”

“Er… sure, I wouldn’t mind, but… what’s all this about?”

“I have invited her to your birthday party. Is that okay with you?”

“I guess so?”

Kagami frowned. Her eyes stung again. Maybe Marinette didn’t hate her, but it also seemed like Marinette didn’t care one way or the other.

“I don’t have to come,” said Kagami. “I — I don’t need to interrupt your celebration.”

“Don’t be silly, Kagami. You should come. Isn’t that right, dear?”

“Y-yeah! That’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“It sounds like you mind,” said Kagami.

“No, I — ugh. Sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m just a little… stressed out, and stuff. Kagami, right?”

“Yes. Hello.”

“You — you can come to my birthday party. I really don’t mind. And, um, I’m sorry for making you think I hate you, even though I don’t know how I did that… um… I’d love to meet you. I think. If you’re a nice person.”

“She is helping me with the dishes right now,” said Sabine-san, winking. “She’s perfectly nice as far as I can tell.”

“The… dishes? Wait, Mum, does she live at your work?”

“Yes, dear. She’s my new employer. So you’d best give her a warm welcome when she shows up, or she’ll fire me. Okay?”

“I will no—”

“Okay! Okay! I got it. I’ll do my best. Please come to my birthday party, Kagami, okay?”

Sabine smiled. In spite of everything. Marinette sounded like she had been told she would get grounded if she didn’t welcome Kagami, but Sabine just… smiled.

Maybe Marinette didn’t really want her there. Or maybe Marinette was just tired from something and it had nothing to do with her. But right now, Kagami wasn’t answering to Marinette — she was answering to Sabine-san.

“… I will come. Thank you for your invitation,” said Kagami, looking into Sabine’s eyes.

“Okay! Good. I’ll, I’ll, I’ll see you then. Five o’clock, park outside the bakery?”

“Six o’clock, sweetie,” said Sabine.

“Oh! Right, Grandma needs time to get here from Milan…”

“That’s right. Okay, I’m hanging up now — I’ll see you in a few hours, dear!”

“R-right! Good! Bye. And, um, bye to Kagami too…”

“She also says bye,” said Sabine, without giving Kagami a chance to say anything. “Bye, dear!”

‘Dear’. Sabine used that word for Kagami, too. She was using the same pet name for both Kagami and her own daughter.

And then she hung up, and slipped the phone back into her pocket. Then she smiled at Kagami again. “There you go,” she said. “Now you can meet her properly. I promise she’s a lot more friendly most days.”

Most days — meaning days when she didn’t have to deal with the stress of even more soulmates? Meaning days before Kagami arrived? Everyone had talked about Marinette being so nice and warm; Adrien-san had insisted she would love meeting Kagami properly. Maybe that was so, but this phone call had hardly suggested that would be the case.

In the end, of course, it wouldn’t matter. Kagami had no chance with Marinette. They would meet, and then at best they would become distant friends connected through Adrien-san. Perhaps they could do a little better — to become not-so-distant friends — but that was the farthest this could go.

Even so, it would be nice to not be hated…

“Are you trying to match me with your daughter?”

“No, dear. I couldn’t force that girl’s heart to go anywhere she didn’t want it,” said Sabine, with a little laugh under her words. “But I would like for the two of you to meet. After all, I want my daughter’s cosmic partners to know the real her, and not a pale and ghostly imitation. Don’t you think that’s fair?”

“I… suppose so,” said Kagami, looking away. “Though I don’t think the two of us could become partners.”

“That’s fine by me, dear.” Sabine smiled. “You’re more than welcome to just be friends. I would love for Marinette to have more of those.”

Kagami… nodded. Yes, that made sense. And it was a nice thought to have, too.

“Now,” said Sabine, clapping her hands together. “I told her you were helping me with the dishes, but you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to. It’s my job to handle the kitchen, so you can sit back if you’d like. Go to your room, or just sit here if you want to talk. I’ll do the dishes and then make a late dinner. Okay?”

That just didn’t feel right. Not after the conversation they’d just had. “No,” Kagami said, still with a lump in her throat. “I’ll help you, as thanks.”

“That’s very kind of you dear,” said Sabine. “Can you handle the dishes while I make the food, then?”

Kagami felt like she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. This — this was what she had always wanted from Mother. “Yes. Yes, I can,” said Kagami, heart swelling in her chest.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that night, after Sabine’s shift was over and Kagami had waved farewell, Kagami went back to her bedroom. It was still full of packed boxes, and her bed seemed like a sterile ship in an ocean of cardboard.

Today, though, she minded it less than before.

Tomorrow, she would unpack. Both here, and as far as she could get in the living room. The tech prototypes in the downstairs work room… those she would save for another day. Or perhaps never unpack at all, because the downstairs work room would gather dust for eternity unless Mother woke up from her lifelong trance.

She fell down on her bed and texted Adrien-san.

Kagami --- 20:51
 I will not visit school tomorrow. I have business to deal with at home.

The screen almost immediately put up a confirmation that he was typing.

Adrien-san --- 20:53
 oki
 how r u? nthn bd i hop 💞
 u lft prt fast

Kagami --- 20:57
 I was just tired. No need to worry.
 Thank you for today, Adrien-san.

Adrien-san --- 20:58
 oki! 💩💩 xlent
 hop u cm bk nxt week!

She would have to tell him later that she had given up on Marinette, and wouldn’t need to be put into the roster for Marinette’s rotation in the classroom. Not today.

She did still feel it like a nagging sore. Giving up wasn’t a choice she wanted to make, but it was probably easier to give up now than to fight for what she could never have. To accept her new reality and let Marinette be for everyone else. They would still meet, of course, at the birthday — and she hoped it would be a good meeting, but she wouldn’t ask for anything more than that.

And today, she felt better about housework than she ever had before. She would be able to make it.

Kagami --- 20:59
 I will, once I am registered.
 If not sooner.

Adrien-san --- 21:00
 o nice
 cnt w8! 💞

Kagami --- 21:03
 Good night.
 💞

She didn’t wait for a response before putting the phone on the nightstand. Instead, she located the box where she kept her journals and sketchbooks; it was at the foot of the bed, at once easy to find but also safely sequestered. She delved into it, picking out the folder she had made before she left Japan.

If she was going to Marinette’s birthday, then she would need a birthday gift. And while these drawings were made with the hopes of one day gifting them to her lover… maybe they would also be fine to gift to a potential friend.

She picked out one — and old sketch from last year, where Marinette sat reading in a chair. It was flattering, hopefully, but also not overtly romantic; it was just an everyday scene in greyscale, without any obvious hope or desire attached. A normal view of a normal girl, who would remain at an arm’s length away.

Then, Kagami went to sleep. And she dreamt that night of nothing at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Saturday was bright and unbothersome, with a slight chill to the air that was enough for a jacket but not so bad that it required a coat. Even at half past five, with a little bit of wind, the walk towards Place des Vosges was comfortable and the sun was still glowing across the city.

Kagami walked slowly, so as not to be too early, but she did still want to be there before everything got started. Perhaps she could strike up a conversation with Sabine-san, or greet Marinette with her gift. Perhaps some of the people from school would be there.

The gift was simply placed inside a manila folder. She hadn’t packaged it, because packaging would have required folding the drawing, and she wanted the drawing to look pristine. Like something to be hanged on the wall. And she carried it in her hands, because she needed to be sure it wouldn’t fall out.

It was a curious sight that awaited her when she arrived. There was more activity than she’d wanted: perhaps a dozen people in all, bustling around the park, putting out tablecloths and spreading out various foods. She recognised several from school: Alya-san and Nino-san, Alix-san, Max-san, Ivan-san and Mylène-san. There were also several she didn’t know, but perhaps more importantly: none of them were Sabine, and none of them looked like Marinette.

As she got closer — specifically, as she was crossing the road from the Seine side across to the sidewalk by the park — Alya-san noticed her. “Hey! Kagami!” she said, raising her hand for a wave, before running away from the table she was currently laying and towards Kagami. “Good to see you again! Out on a walk?”

Kagami shook her head. “No, I wanted to come here.”

“Oh! Good, good! We’re preparing a birthday party for Marinette right now, actually… I don’t know if they’ll…” Alya-san turned half around and shouted over her shoulder. “Tom! Tom, is it okay if someone else drops in too? She’s a soulmate!”

Kagami very nearly yelped: to have her status called out so loudly in a public space, and in the presence of so many strangers, was mortifying. It was bad enough when she had to reveal her soulmate after the fencing match; now her cheeks felt like they were being flamethrowered.

But nonetheless, this Tom-san — who turned out to be a large, portly man with dark brown hair and a moustache — paused in the middle of carrying a table against his shoulder and turned towards them. “What, another one?” he said, and when Alya replied “Yes,” and Kagami felt like digging a hole into the ground and rolling up inside it, he went on, “Well, I think you’ll have to ask Marinette, but I know we’ll have more than enough food —”

“Actually, I’ve already invited her,” said a different voice, from near the bakery. Kagami looked over: Sabine was there, walking into the park, carrying a large tiered cake. “Hello, Kagami. How nice of you to come.”

And carrying the cake with her, on a large wooden board, was…

It was such an anticlimactic first meeting. Kagami had always imagined that her first meeting with her soulmate would be dramatic, but wonderful, a scene encircled with flowing cherry blossom petals against a sunset backdrop, their eyes meeting at last and their breaths hitching, and their hearts beating as one with every footstep they took towards each other, and their hands meeting rapturously and their mouths melding together and the two of them finally becoming the one person they were always meant to be.

That level of intensity was of course out of the question now that she had given up. But even for a first meeting between friends, this was underwhelming. Marinette, who looked a lot prettier than her spirit ever could, who had blue eyes unlike the dark brown Kagami had always imagined, whose skin was a shade paler and whose hair was black, glanced at Kagami for a second but quickly looked back at the cake; she seemed to be concentrating on keeping it balanced more than anything else. Her tongue was sticking out between her lips, and she was moving her legs very carefully, and she was so far away and on the far side of a cake.

“Hello, Sabine-san,” said Kagami and bowed, though not so low that she couldn’t keep looking at Marinette.

Though she quickly stood up straight again when she realised that Marinette was carrying a large cake. And the only thing Marinette’s spirit had ever been, other than a comfort, was — clumsy.

She dashed over, stuck the folder with Marinette’s gift into her blazer, and came to a stop in front of the cake carriers. “Excuse me,” she said. “Hello, Marinette. I am Kagami Tsurugi. It is very nice to meet you. May I help you carry?”

“Um,” said Marinette, wobbling slightly. “Maybe?”

“Of course you can,” said Sabine-san. “Take a hold with Marinette. She needs the help more than me.”

“Yes,” said Kagami. “I noticed.”

“Um,” said Marinette again. But she didn’t protest, just stared with wide eyes.

“Let her have space, dear,” said Sabine-san. “And quick. I don’t want to carry this thing forever.”

There was no ‘Um’ from Marinette this time. Instead, the girl almost jumped off the ground, and nodded towards Kagami. “Y-yes! Sorry. Thank you so much. He, here,” she stammered, and offered one corner; Kagami took it with a solemn nod. They spent a few seconds just getting a grip on each their parts, and then Sabine gave the command to start moving again.

“How was yesterday, Kagami dear?” said Sabine, once they had all taken a step. “Did you stay home?”

The cake between them would have been large enough to obscure all of Sabine, if Kagami hadn’t taken hold of the front corner — Sabine glanced at her around the edge with a little smile.

“I did. I unpacked into my room, and decorated.” She hadn’t unpacked the filled-out sketchbooks and drawings, though; they were still in the box at the foot of her bed. There was no need to take the rest of them out, perhaps ever.

“I asked Marinette yesterday if she met you at school, you see,” said Sabine, a comment to which Marinette remained completely silent.

“I see. I’m not registered as a student yet.”

“Yes, you told me as much,” Sabine chuckled. “Oh, here’s the table. Careful now, girls… Marinette, are your shoes on right?”

Marinette sighed her way into a groan. “Yes, Mum. I’m not helpless.”

“No, but you are very clumsy.”

There was no response this time. Not even a sigh.

Kagami took another step forward, towards the table, and felt something slip inside her jacket.

Then as she took the next step, she felt it slip out.

The folder, with Marinette’s gift, had fallen out of her blazer and her foot was already moving and she gasped in horror and as she did so, she simultaneously kicked the folder and unsteadied the cake, and she kept her grip on it but she stumbled forward and her foot landed on something and maybe it was the folder or maybe it was something less terrible to step on, and Sabine shouted and Marinette yelled and she heard other voices also crying out and she was about to fall over and she concentrated and suddenly her legs were steady again and she reaffirmed her grip on the board, and the table was there and she pushed the board towards it because she could tell the others were losing their grip too and with all her strength she pushed it further and she felt Marinette let go and Sabine stumble forward but the cake was on the table, and she gently inched it forward until it stood fully in place.

“Oh… thank goodness,” said Sabine, brushing a hand across her forehead. Kagami turned towards her, and saw she looked just a little dishevelled; there was a tiny bit of frosting on her hair.

“I apologise,” said Kagami, bowing.

And she had only rescued the cake by summoning Marinette’s spirit. It was the first time she had ever summoned Marinette for anything except as comfort, as a model to draw, and she actually felt steadier. Stronger. Like she could fence against an adult world champion and win. Or like she could have carried the entire cake by herself.

“What happened?” said Sabine, glancing past Kagami’s shoulder — probably at Marinette’s soul.

“I — I dropped something important,” said Kagami. The gift — the folder — the drawing, the thing she had made for Marinette, the thing that fell out of her jacket, she turned around to look for it and saw —

Marinette. The real Marinette, holding the folder in her hands. There were several footprints on it, and it was bent, and the sketch had fallen slightly out and was black and green from the grass and soil and there was a tear in it, and it was crumpled and horrible and Marinette was holding it.

“Um,” said Marinette. Like it was her catchphrase. “I think you dropped this? I stepped on it by accident. Sorry, I hope it wasn’t important…”

“No,” Kagami half-barked, snatching the folder away and clutching it to her chest. “It — it wasn’t important.” It was a lie and an obvious lie, because she just told Sabine-san the opposite, but what was she supposed to do?

She looked Marinette up and down. Marinette seemed like she had fallen over, because she had a dark patch on her knee and seemed to have a scraped-up wrist. And that, too, was Kagami’s fault. She had tried to help, but in doing so she had ruined Marinette’s gift, caused Marinette to fall and hurt herself, and very nearly dropped an entire birthday cake.

“I apologise deeply and profoundly,” she said, bowing as far as she could go. “I was careless and I caused you to be injured. Please forgive me.” It was a request for show, not a genuine plea for forgiveness; she didn’t want to be forgiven, only to make it clear that she was sorry. The birthday child was injured because of her mistake.

“It’s fine! It’s fine, um, don’t worry,” said Marinette. Kagami did not look up at her. “I injure myself worse than this at least once a week… yeah. Er. Don’t worry.”

She did not say ‘I forgive you’. That was simultaneously a relief and a curse.

“If you wish, I will leave straight away. I don’t wish to impose.”

A hand landed on Kagami’s shoulder. “You are not imposing, dear,” said Sabine’s voice. “Marinette — go clean yourself up. And change out of those tights, okay? I’ll handle things out here.”

“Um,” said Marinette. “O-okay…”

“And you, Kagami, please come with me for a moment.” The hand moved to grab around Kagami’s arm — Kagami unbent partly out of surprise, and partly because of how strong Sabine-san’s grip was; she saw a brief glimpse of Marinette running back towards the bakery, and then, glimpses of a few people who stood around with worried expressions, holding decorations or just waiting for something else to happen.

Then she looked at Sabine. Whose expression was not unkind, but also not un-stern.

“Let’s go over there,” said Sabine, her voice much the same as her expression. And she pulled Kagami by the arm until they reached the far end of the park, where there was a carousel, and the noises and voices from the partymakers were far more quiet.

Sabine-san let go of Kagami there and folded her arms with a sigh. “Young lady,” she said. “I hope that wasn’t on purpose.”

Kagami clutched the folder to her chest and looked down. “I had no intention of jeopardising the cake, Cheng-san.”

“Sabine. And that’s not what I mean,” said Sabine-san. “I don’t believe you could do that on purpose, even if you wanted to, which I also doubt. I want to know if you are seeking an excuse to leave, after I invited you.”

“What?” said Kagami, looking up in surprise.

Sabine-san’s mouth was curled halfway into a smile, but the other half almost seemed exasperated. “I would like for you to stay and enjoy yourself. You aren’t imposing. You’re a valued guest, and Marinette is an important part of your life. It’s only right that you stay and get to know her.”

“But — I am not important to her.”

“Nonsense,” said Sabine. “You are connected to her spirit. Which, may I remind you, is still out at this moment.”

Kagami felt the reproach like a burning spark on her back. She wriggled her hand and dissipated Marinette’s soul.

“Thank you. Don’t worry, you saved the cake with that, so I don’t mind. In fact, if I wasn’t so scared it was tearing away at her, I’d love to see everyone’s Marinettes more often. I think the world would be more beautiful with more of her in it, don’t you?”

“I…” started Kagami. But she wasn’t even sure what to think. Marinette was pretty in the drawings, and her real form wasn’t any less pretty in a physical sense. But it still felt like Marinette didn’t want her to be there. “Maybe,” she finished, looking away again.

“I would like for you to stay for at least one hour. Do you think you can manage that?”

Well — it wasn’t like she had anything else to do tonight. And it was very hard to refuse Sabine…

“That would be fine,” she said. “I will stay for one hour.”

“And longer than that, if you want to.” Sabine sighed in apparent relief, throwing her head back towards the other side of the park. “Come now, let’s get back and help the others. There’s still a few minutes to go before your countdown to one hour starts. Okay, dear?”

Kagami nodded. At this point, it felt possible that Sabine had spoken to her more than Mother ever had. It was a strange thought to have, one that hurt and caressed at the same time, at once cold and hot.

They moved back to the other side of the park, where there were suddenly a lot more people. She recognised almost all of Marinette’s class; there were also others, whose names she couldn’t possibly know, and would probably never learn. Marinette had not returned yet, however.

Most of the others were gathered around what seemed to be a gifts table. There were paper-wrapped presents and folded cards, as well as lights and flowers without any wrapping.

And Kagami’s present would be a horrible mockery next to all the other gifts. But she also had nothing else to give.

There was a pencil on the table. Perhaps she could write a message for Marinette, and promise that another gift was coming.

“I will be right with you,” she told Sabine-san, who said a brief ‘All right, dear’ in response and turned to help Alya-san with hanging a banner from a lightpole.

Sneaking over to the gifts table, past Alya-san and Nino-san and Adrien-san who all waved at her, she was about to put the ruined present down when a commotion started near the bakery. Or perhaps it wasn’t a commotion, but it was two raised voices, and everyone’s heads quickly turned towards it: there was a tall older white woman in a leather jacket, and there was Marinette, both of them walking into the park and towards the balloons and tables. And the older woman was trying to grab on to Marinette’s shoulders, and Marinette was trying to get away, and they seemed to be arguing.

“— I’m fine!”

“You scraped yourself! Mamma mia, that isn’t ‘fine’!”

“I’m as fine as I need to be!”

“Who pushed you, bambina? Who pushed you?”

“Nobody! It was an accident! I fell!”

Kagami took a step to the side, slightly behind the group by the table.

“It was one of them, wasn’t it?”

At that question, Marinette — who clearly hadn’t changed out of her soiled tights yet — came to a stop. She glanced towards the congregation around the tables. They were twenty, maybe thirty feet away from Kagami. “Grandma,” she said. “Stop. You’re making a scene.”

“I’m making a scene? What about all of them? Marinetta, bambina, you should be free! Live on the open road!”

“Grandma! We’re supposed to celebrate!” snapped Marinette. It was obvious that she was angry. Not just angry, but stressed and upset, and a stab of guilt bloomed in Kagami’s guts. “Leave me alone!”

“On your birthday? Your nonna would never! Come with me on my motorbike instead, and we can celebrate away from all these —”

“No!” Marinette folded her arms. “I wanna be with my friends! If you don’t wanna deal with that, then just leave!”

The grandma put a hand to her chest and scoffed loudly. “What — you don’t want me here?”

“If you’re gonna be like this — no! Go away!”

If Marinette’s grandmother had looked upset before, this was the point where she looked genuinely offended. She gasped loudly and stepped back, and her expression was one of horror, and she said, “Well… if that’s how you’re going to treat your own nonna I… I will just leave…”

Then she turned to walk away. Everyone else just stared at the scene, immobile since the argument first came to their attention, unable or unwilling to intrude on the minutes of a family fight — but then, as Marinette remained turned away, Tom-san called out “Wait, Mamma, wait!” and ran after her, and Sabine walked quietly up to Marinette, and everyone else just stood and watched.

Kagami clenched the gift to her chest, wishing she could just disappear. To step back and meld into a table and not be seen, or perhaps just blow away like an unseen wind. Marinette’s fall was her fault, and so was the ruined gift, and obviously this fight that Marinette was having was also her fault. And on a day that was supposed to be for celebration.

She wanted to run. To set off towards home and just not stop or slow down until she was safe inside the front door. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t, because she had promised Sabine-san, but even so all her instincts were telling her to run away. There was already no chance of getting Marinette, and she knew almost nobody here except by name, and there was nothing to gain from staying… except Sabine’s approval.

Even so, nobody was paying attention to her right now. That was comforting, even though nothing else was. Sabine was holding a quiet conversation with Marinette, and Marinette seemed to be wiping away tears — and Tom-san had disappeared around the bakery to follow the grandmother, and nobody seemed to even have the mental wherewithal to strike up any conversations.

Kagami took another step back, but she kept her eye on Sabine and Marinette. Who went into a hug, and then Sabine smiled at everyone, and then she conducted Marinette towards the tables, and there was a certain amount of movement. Alya-san, Adrien-san, a couple of others, walked forward and offered simple words of support, questions about how Marinette was doing. And Marinette seemed to answer every question with a smile, though only a half one and not a whole.

And then people got back to work, setting up the last of the tables and arranging plates of food, or just shifting decorations around a little bit to make sure they were right; Kagami, who remained standing still by the gifts table, still holding the trampled sketch, thought for certain that the latter group must just be trying very hard to act natural. Maybe that was fine.

But then there was a noise. It sounded at once like an explosion and a motorcycle’s engine, and it was quickly followed by loud and cackling laughter. Kagami turned towards the bakery, where the sound was coming from: a moment later, Tom-san came running around the corner, and right behind him was…

… an old, green-skinned, red-haired, black-clothed woman, riding a motorcycle that hovered in the air and laughing as she brandished an old-looking gun.

“Oh, Marinetta!” cackled the woman — and even though her voice was distorted, and her appearance twisted, Kagami realised immediately that this was Marinette’s grandmother. And this must be what an akuma looked like. There were several yells and shouts, and people ran for cover; Alya-san pulled out her phone.

The akuma circled Tom-san, who stopped with an arm raised defensively in front of him. And just as that happened… Marinette ran away, down the street.

Away from her own mother.

Was Marinette just someone who always ran off?

Within seconds, the akuma had fired her weapon at Tom-san. And Tom-san didn’t fall over, or die, or scream in pain — he turned black. Like coal.

“Where is Marinetta?” said the akuma, her voice easily carrying wide across the city. “Marinetta, you have been a very naughty girl!”

“Gina, this is nonsense,” said Sabine-san. She had folded her arms, and her voice was brash, demanding. “Stop following Hawk Moth’s commands right this second!”

The akuma — Gina? — cackled. “Why? He has given me everything I need to punish such a disrespectful child. She is in much need of some coal!”

“You will not turn my daughter into coal! Have you no shame?” shouted Sabine. “Look what you did to your son — my husband! Stand down right now, or I will make sure you regret letting him marry me!”

Gina raised her gun. “I regret nothing except your standards for discipline,” she said.

Somehow, Kagami was already running at that point. Her legs started to move the moment she saw the motion in Gina’s arm, before her conscious brain even made the connection of what was going to happen, and maybe she even shouted something — Sabine’s name, perhaps, or a simple ‘Don’t!’ — but all of that, all of the things which happened in that moment, were blown out of her head when the bullet hit her in the shoulder.

She probably crashed into the ground. Perhaps Sabine-san cried out for her, or bent down to pat her on the shoulder. But all she knew was blackness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A light flashed in her mind, and she came to on the ground, with grass scratching at her cheeks and gravel poking into her shins.

She sat up immediately. She needed to see if Sabine was there, and threw her gaze across the entire park — but there was no Sabine. There was a Tom-san, though, and a Nino-san and a Juleka-san and several other classmates-san, all either lying flat on the ground or in the process of pushing themselves into a standing position.

There was no Gina-san, either. Or Adrien-san, or Marinette.

From the look of the sun above, an hour might have passed already. She glanced down at her watch: it showed 19:19. In other words, she was technically free from her promise to Sabine.

Nino-san looked at her. Maybe he was upset about the trouble she’d caused.

But… she couldn’t leave now. Not without making sure that Sabine was okay.

Even though the people here definitely knew that she had caused Marinette to be injured.

She looked at Nino-san in particular. He seemed to be looking around for someone — perhaps Marinette. They were soulmates, after all, and he had said he was pursuing her. But was he truly okay with Marinette being so standoffish and aloof? That Marinette ran away? Was Adrien-san okay with Marinette telling him she wouldn’t meet him on Thursday, even though she was his for the week? Was Juleka-san okay with going after Marinette, even when doing so would lead to hurt for Rose-san?

It just didn’t make sense. Everyone seemed to be chasing some kind of image. Adrien-san had called Marinette a lovely person; Kagami could hardly claim with evidence that she wasn’t, but so far her only impressions of Marinette were either negative or… minor. Not a single promise that had been made to Kagami about Marinette thus far had turned out to be true.

Perhaps everyone was wrong. Perhaps they were lying. Perhaps this Marinette was a fake, and they were keeping the real Marinette from her.

Perhaps —

“Hey, everyone!” called a voice from behind her. She turned around and saw — Adrien-san, with his hand raised, and Sabine-san walking behind him; a little further back walked Marinette, still with a dirty and torn knee, and she was holding her grandmother’s hand as though they had made up. And behind them came a whole little group, including Alya-san and Rose-san and a few others.

“Hey!” said — someone in the park. Kagami was not good enough at recalling people’s voices yet. A couple other voices echoed the first one, and she thought probably one was Nino-san’s, but she was following the approaching party with her eyes. Nothing else mattered right now.

There were greetings, questions if people were okay, even hugs. Nothing that involved Kagami, except that Adrien-san waved at her and Sabine nodded some kind of acknowledgement. And then the grandmother stepped forward and said, “I’m so sorry for what happened. Marinetta and I have talked it over, and everything is fine now. Oh, Tom, darling Tom…”

She concluded by walking over to Tom-san and hugging him, and he hugged her back.

“The party is… a little delayed right now,” said Sabine. “But we still have a few hours left, and everyone is welcome to stay for as long as they want. There’s food and drink for everyone, and a few tables over there if you want to play games. Everyone, please have a wonderful time!”

Then, she leant over and whispered something into Marinette’s ear. And Marinette — glanced over at Kagami.

And within seconds, Marinette was already next to Kagami, grabbing hold of Kagami’s wrist, pulling Kagami away to the other side of the park —

“Hey!” Kagami protested, but Marinette was incredibly strong, and incredibly determined, and Kagami didn’t want to cause a stir more than she already had so she let herself be dragged along to the carousel.

There, Marinette came to a stop and sighed, letting go of Kagami. And she turned around, and she suddenly looked a lot less determined, and really she looked more like she thought she was about to be shouted at.

“… Kagami, right?” she said, gripping her elbow. “I, um… I’ve heard it a few times now, so I know it’s what you’re called, but I haven’t said it a lot. So did I say it right?”

Maybe not perfectly. But she had said it the same as Adrien-san would, and as well as Sabine — and besides, quibbling about the sound would mean a longer wait before finding out why Marinette had taken her here. “Yes,” she said. “You said it fine.”

“Okay. Good — ugh.” Marinette clutched her forehead. “Kagami. Sit down. Um, I mean, let’s sit down together.” She pointed at the carousel with her free hand.

Kagami looked at the carousel a moment, hesitating. Then, because she still didn’t want to wait too long before finding out what was going on, she walked onto the contraption and climbed into a black-spotted red cart with rounded edges.

When she looked back, though, Marinette was staring with wide eyes and an open mouth. “Um,” she said, and hesitated for a moment before following suit. As she swung her leg inside, she added, “I meant we could sit down on the edge.”

“Oh,” said Kagami.

“Yeah.”

Neither of them moved to leave the little wagon. They were both silent for a while. Then Kagami drew her breath to speak, but before she could get a word out Marinette interrupted her.

“I think, I think maybe we got off on the wrong foot.”

Kagami felt a twinge of annoyance. Of course they had gotten off on the wrong foot: Marinette ran away from their first encounter, then acted like she didn’t care to meet Kagami at all. But she swallowed her complaint and simply said, “Yes.”

“Yeah… I figured. But, um… I just want you to know that it’s not your fault.”

This time, the annoyance got the better of Kagami. “I know that,” she said, just a little icily.

“H-huh?”

“You’ve behaved this whole time like you didn’t want to see me at all. You ran away from me when you found out you were my soulmate. Of course it’s not my fault.”

Marinette stared back, clearly surprised.

“I don’t have low self-esteem,” Kagami went on, folding her hands in her lap. “I don’t need to be reassured.”

Marinette kept staring for a little bit. But then, her lips curved into a little smile, and her eyebrows relaxed. “Oh, I’m so glad you said that…” she murmured.

“What?”

“Look. I’m not trying to be… rude, or anything. It’s just I — kinda thought it was all over and I could settle down.”

Kagami frowned even deeper. “What are you talking about?”

“Soulmates. I thought I was done getting new ones. It’s been a long time since the last one, now, so I figured it was all over, and then I just freaked out when I saw you also got me. You know? So… that’s why.”

“Yes,” said Kagami, sighing. “Adrien-san said as much.”

“I’ve been freaking out for a few days, actually. After you showed up. But it’s not your fault.”

“That sounds like you do blame me,” said Kagami.

Marinette had the gall to look surprised again, like she hadn’t just been talking about Kagami ‘freaking her out’ since Wednesday. “It — it does? I didn’t mean to —”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“Because…” Marinette looked away. “I just wanted to clear the air a little. And because Mum told me if I didn’t, she would be upset with me.”

“You —”

“I mean, I would have talked to you anyway! Eventually,” said Marinette, still not looking at Kagami but even so moving her hands to gesticulate. “I mean, I’m supposed to be celebrating with everyone, and I think Théo’s a bit upset that I’m over here alone with someone else, and it’s just… I did want to talk to you anyway, but I just feel like I don’t have time. You know?”

Did she know? Kagami definitely knew what it was like to not have the time, given her first few days of experiencing France. But this sounded like a rather different beast.

It wasn’t really worth answering the ‘You know?’, though. So instead she raised one eyebrow and asked a question of her own. “Théo?”

“He’s got me this weekend. Oh, um… I don’t know if you know yet, but I think… nineteen people have me as a soulmate? Twenty? And everyone in class gets to have me a week at a time, and on the weekend I rotate with everyone who’s not in my class, so everyone gets to… share, I guess is the right word.”

There was something in Marinette’s tone — not only there, but also in how she trailed off, how her eyes grew distant and small as she said it — which suggested very clearly that she wasn’t happy with this state of affairs. She sounded tired, almost, or perhaps just resigned.

Well, Kagami had already renounced her in her own mind. It would only make sense to do the same out loud. “I don’t need to be part of this rotation,” said Kagami, and it only stung a little to say it. “I don’t aim to win you as my romantic partner.”

“… Really?” said Marinette, her eyes finally drifting back to Kagami. “Adrien said you were very insistent on getting a chance.”

“I changed my mind. I don’t want to participate.”

There was another bout of silence from Marinette. Then she broke into a smile. “Thank you,” she said. “That’s good to know.”

‘Thank you’. What an irritating response. “You are a very rude person, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

Marinette snorted into a smile. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re very right, um, to say that. I’m sorry.”

Kagami frowned. But she didn’t want to poke into whatever was going on there, and Marinette did say sorry, so she tried pushing on instead.

“Do you like Théo, Marinette?”

“Um…” The smile faded. Of course it did. “He’s nice, I guess. I don’t know if he’s… I don’t know if he’s more than a friend, though.”

“So you are leading him on?”

“No. I’ve told him I’m not — I’ve told everyone. I’m going along with the dating thing, but I’m not… looking for anything, I think. I’ve never been in love with anyone, and my soulmate isn’t, um… my soulmate doesn’t make sense, so I don’t think I ever… um…”

“You mean to say you are leading everyone on,” said Kagami, surprised at how matter-of-fact she sounded about it. She was lucky that she had already given up on winning Marinette, or this revelation might have shattered her.

“I’m not!” protested Marinette. But her protest was feeble, and turned feebler when she leant forward and pressed her palms to her forehead. “I’ve told everyone from the start that I’m probably not going to fall in love with any of them, but there’s so many of them and everyone’s so into the idea of soulmates and I can’t say no. If I say no to one of them, I’ll have to say no to everyone or it’s like I’m singling them out, and if I have to say no to everyone I’m going to literally explode because — because, ugh. Ugh. I just can’t do it.”

Kagami considered Marinette for a little while. Clearly, Marinette was being avoidant: she was running away here, too, just like she had run away from Kagami or from the akuma. But she wasn’t just running away. Something else was going on alongside all that.

“Why can’t you tell them no?”

“Because soulmates are — soulmates are like, they’re the universe saying, this person is yours, right? I mean, maybe you don’t think so, if you don’t want to date me, but… most people do, and I’m stuck in the middle like, I can’t say I know better than the universe? I’m just a girl.”

No — Kagami did think so. She used to think so, at least, until two days ago. Why would you have a soulmate if they weren’t a mate for your soul, another person who filled in all your cracks and made you into a complete person?

She hadn’t really stopped thinking that way, either; she had just given up on Marinette in specific. Mother and Father had helped each other function. Tom-san and Sabine-san were probably perfect matches. Everyone always talked about soulmates like proof of destiny, or god, or as though they were the reason humans knew how to love each other in the first place.

And she was also just a girl, exactly the same as Marinette. She couldn’t tell the universe that it was wrong. She could only think that Marinette, specifically, wouldn’t be right for her; she could think that the circumstances were wrong, that there was too much clutter and chaos.

But for the first time since they met, Kagami actually thought Marinette seemed sympathetic. She glanced down at Marinette’s scraped-up knee and felt a sudden, though minimal, urge to rub it with her thumb.

“I don’t know why I’m so many people’s soulmate,” Marinette went on. “Maybe the universe is telling me I’m supposed to date everyone? Or no one, I just — I have no idea. So I let them keep going, and maybe I’ll start feeling something for someone one day, and that means things will have worked out, right?”

“Does it?” replied Kagami, mainly because it sounded like Marinette wasn’t convinced about what she was saying.

“I — I don’t know. But if the universe says so, it has to be like that, right? Like how the universe says a black hole is this void ball that sucks everything else into it, even light. That’s like a law of the universe, so if this is a law too, then I have to fall for them eventually.”

“I see,” said Kagami, even though she didn’t.

“That’s why it’s good you don’t want to date me.” Marinette’s lips formed into a smile, even though she was still leaning forward and staring into her lap. “Because this is a mess and it’s not going to get any better. And I don’t need to figure out my schedule all over again. It’s already stressful enough to juggle… what, sixteen people?”

Kagami furrowed her eyebrows. “What would you do if I told you I was also interested?”

“Well… I’d fix the schedule. Maybe put you in for next week, since you’re new… except Chloé gets upset if I move her, so maybe the week after? And then we’d rotate like that and you’d sit with me in class on your weeks, and you’d decide what we do in the evenings except on my day off. Also we’d hold hands a lot, I think…”

“I see,” repeated Kagami.

“Wait…” Marinette turned towards Kagami again, eyes wide in obvious fear. “Are you actually interested?”

Kagami shook her head.

“Oh, thank god.” Marinette breathed out, and her shoulders fell. “I… um, I wouldn’t have told you any of that stuff before if you were really after… ugh, sorry.”

As Kagami watched Marinette relax again, she remembered something Alix-san had said on Wednesday: that Marinette was a lot more anxious around soulmates than anyone else. The way Alix-san put it then, it was ‘you guys making her nervous’. That seemed like an appropriate, if inadequate, description of what had just happened: now that the ‘threat’ was over, Marinette had a faint smile on her face, and she sat like she didn’t actually mind sitting.

“Holding hands?” said Kagami, because she was curious about that detail from before.

“Yeah. I never go further than holding hands, because I don’t feel right about kissing anyone because… y’know. That’s like the ultimate step. But the stupid thing is, because of that, I now feel weird about holding hands? Like if they lean in for a kiss I’ll just tell them no, hold hands instead, and then they slip their hands around mine and I can tell they’re holding my hand really intensely like what they’re really doing is the same as kissing me so I feel like even holding hands is too far now.”

Kagami frowned. “That’s silly. You held my hand to pull me over here.”

“No,” said Marinette, shaking her head firmly. “I specifically held your wrist. That’s different, so it doesn’t count.”

Somehow, the petulance of that reply was enough for Kagami to break into a smile. “I won’t hold your hand ever, then,” she said, surprised at how bright she sounded.

“Thanks,” said Marinette, and fell against the backrest. The whole wagon shook for a bit. “Anyway, uh, I also had another reason for taking you over here.”

“Really?” Kagami glanced at the celebrators on the other side; nobody was looking over at the carousel right now. “What reason?”

“Well, I’m your soulmate, right? So you know a lot about me. But I don’t really know anything about you, and I don’t think it’s fair that so many people get to know me through my ghost spirit but I don’t get to learn about you. Like… don’t you think so too?”

“I don’t know a lot about you,” said Kagami. “I only know where you live. And that you are rude.”

Marinette snorted again. “Yeah. Yeah, you know that. And you know my address, you know how much I weigh, you know my full name, you know when my birthday is and how old I am. Right?”

Kagami looked away. “Yes. I do. I apologise.”

“So you know a bunch of things about me, and all I know about you is that you’re Kagami and that you just moved here from Japan,” Marinette went on, doing a gesture with both index fingers when she talked about moving.

“Well…” started Kagami, but she found herself at a loss for words. What did she really know about Marinette?

Ten minutes ago, she thought Marinette was unreliable and a coward. Three days ago, she thought Marinette was perfect and lovely. But right now it was impossible to say. It seemed obvious that Marinette was a person who ran away from trouble, but equally obvious that she was someone who stayed when the going got tough. She was distant before, but now she was unmistakably warm and open. She was willing to shout at her grandmother in front of everyone but also willing to hold that grandmother’s hand and hug her in front of those very same people.

Truthfully speaking, there was only one thing Kagami knew for sure about Marinette, and that was from observing it in Marinette’s soul.

“All I really know about you is that you are clumsy.”

“Yeah,” said Marinette airily, sinking together a little. “That’s true. I’m a walking disaster area… I’m really sorry about stepping on your thing. What was it? Is it something I could buy you a replacement of?”

The folder. The drawing, the gift. Kagami still had it under her arm, though it was likely even more crumpled now by the way she was sitting, and it was already dreadful when Marinette had picked it off the ground, and neither the drawing nor the cake had been Marinette’s fault.

“No,” said Kagami, and stood up very quickly. “It isn’t worth replacing. Please ignore it and forget that it existed.”

Marinette made a quiet ‘Whoa!’-like sound when Kagami stood up; now she looked straight up, still sitting down. “Er, okay?”

“I need to get home. Right now. To — to see to my mother. Please excuse me.”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll move,” said Marinette, pushing herself out of the wagon; Kagami only waited for long enough that Marinette could get out of the way, and then she climbed out herself. Then, she set off running.

“Kagami!” said Marinette.

“I might see you again later,” shouted Kagami over her shoulder. “Please tell Sabine that I appreciated being here!”

And she ran, ignoring everyone else, clutching the folder so tightly to her chest that she crushed it even more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Adrien-san --- 20:24
 hey herd u left the party erly
 u ok?

Kagami sighed. She had started looking through her sketches to find something else she could gift to Marinette, perhaps at school next week or (hopefully) through Sabine, but she quickly gave up when nothing felt right to the Marinette she had met: there was nothing that had the combination of uncouth gentleness, anxious forwardness, mixed-up everythingness that she had seen today. To pay Marinette back for almost ruining her birthday party in two separate ways, she needed to give a gift that was better than anything she had in this box.

So instead, she had thrown herself onto the bed and rolled up like a little ball. Never mind that she had left a poor impression on Marinette; Marinette was a potential friend, and nobody who would be so significant to her that a relationship absolutely needed to be salvaged.

But Kagami must have left a poor impression on Sabine — by nearly dropping the cake, abusing Marinette’s soul, and leading directly to the conflict that caused Marinette’s grandmother to be akumatised. And if that meant Sabine wouldn’t want to return as a housekeeper… everything would be ruined.

Kagami --- 20:32
 I am doing fine. I had something important to take care of at home.

Adrien-san --- 20:33
 ok! good
 marintte askd abt you so
 comin to school monday? 💞

Kagami --- 20:37
 I will return once I am registered.

She put the phone aside for a bit and looked around the room. If a home was supposed to be a place where you felt comfortable and in control of your surroundings, then she supposed she had always been homeless; this had to be her home for the moment, though. And most of the furniture was already here when they moved in, courtesy of Agreste-san. He was a man who focused on blank surfaces and sharp whites, judging both by his fashion and the way he had had this house designed. Not to mention his chin.

The old place in Tokyo was smaller by a factor of probably five, and living there for so long had brute forced in a sense of familiarity, but the metro station had also been familiar. Advertisements on billboards could be familiar. A face could be familiar, but you could never live inside a face.

It would take someone like Sabine to make this new place feel like a home. If Sabine kept coming over, then each visit would make the house feel homelier.

Briefly, Kagami found herself wishing that Sabine had been her soulmate. Not for romantic reasons — she just wanted to be connected to someone who cared for her.

Even Adrien-san would have been nice. Sure, he didn’t have her as a soulmate, but she knew him. He was more than just familiar, even though he wasn’t… home. Not exactly.

She tossed around, came to rest on her other side. Did she really want Marinette? No — no, she didn’t, not like that. Her dream of Marinette, her fancy childhood wish, was far too different from the real Marinette. The real Marinette seemed like she could be a good friend, possibly, but she didn’t fit into the mould of ‘girlfriend’ that Kagami had constructed around her. There was too much noise and dissonance.

Even so, she still wanted to do right by Marinette. To give her a proper birthday gift that didn’t insult her, and to get to know the real her.

And that was part of the problem… because at school, Marinette would be monopolised by other people. And during the weekends, Marinette would also be monopolised by other people. Earlier, she said she felt like she never had time. Which sounded like those who had her as a soulmate made up her entire social circle, and also every waking hour of her every day.

How strange that the universe had matched the two of them. The girl who had so many people vying for her attention that she couldn’t see past them, and the girl who had nobody vying for her whatsoever. The girl whose soul must be stretched to breaking point with all the people using it, and the girl whose soul was packaged into a tight little ball.

This was where the red string of fate had led her. Unmei no akai ito ni shitagatte. Well, she followed it, and she was no closer to an answer for anything, and her soulmate was out of reach. She wouldn’t even summon her Marinette anymore — because Sabine-san didn’t want her to, because of what Sabine-san had said. What if bringing Marinette’s spirit out actually drained Marinette of her own spirit? Was that why she seemed so peculiar?

If only life had been more fair.

If only…

She turned to pick up her phone again.

Adrien-san --- 20:38
 aw whens that
 u can visit class whenevr, u no 💞

Kagami --- 20:51
 I don’t know yet. They will tell me when I am registered.

And once they did, she would have to go. But before then…

Maybe she should unpack for the rest of the house, too. Get things in order, so that it would be nicer for Sabine when she turned up for work.

Which meant prioritising the kitchen, the hallways, and Mother’s room. And along with that, she needed to make food, clean the bathrooms, and keep the hallway tidy.

Adrien-san --- 20:52
 hope thats be4 monday!

She sighed and put the phone away again. Adrien-san… he was maybe sufficiently home-like. Maybe she could visit him on weekends, since apparently he only had Marinette on normal weekdays for his weeks. Or maybe he could visit her.

Which meant doing even more work to make the house look like someone was keeping it.

She buried herself in that thought, struggling against it until she finally stopped thinking — and started sleeping. The next day, she woke up to a single extra message from Adrien:

Adrien-san --- 20:56
 💞💩

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sunday turned into boxes and dusting. No messages ticked in from the school, which was only natural given that it wasn’t a workday. Her only conversations that day were completely one-sided messages to Mother that food was ready; then Mother, as always, came to fetch a plate. A plate that Kagami, or worse still Sabine, would have to go back and get out of there later, because otherwise it would stand there covered in stale food for eternity.

On Monday, a message ticked in that school registration was complete and she was eligible to start in Madame Bustier’s class immediately. However, the message only ticked in half an hour after the start of school, and she wasn’t going to start getting ready if all she could be for school that day was late. Instead, she tried to make everything as presentable as possible for three o’clock, which was the start of Sabine’s regular workdays, and spent the rest of the day getting her school supplies ready.

When it was still five minutes before three, she went down into the hallway. There was a chair there, one that was upholstered; she sat down in it with a book, so she could greet Sabine adequately for her first proper workday.

No Sabine appeared at three o’clock, though. Nor at five past. Just as Kagami was about to get out of her chair so she could check outside, though, there were feet on the doorstep and voices outside and the jangling of keys.

Two voices. Four feet.

The door opened. Inside stepped Sabine — and then, a moment later, Marinette.

Sabine was quick to notice. “Hello, Kagami dear,” she said, bowing slightly forward.

It was only after that that Marinette caught sight of Kagami. And when she did, she jumped like she had seen a mouse. “O-oh! Hihihi!” she blabbered frantically, looking left and right.

Kagami bowed back, mostly to Sabine. “Good afternoon, Sabine-san, Marinette,” she said. “What is the occasion?”

It was almost possible to hear the laughter inside Sabine’s head, which shone out through her eyes even though her mouth only moved to speak. “My daughter,” she said, “wanted to meet you again.”

“Mum,” groaned Marinette.

“Really?” said Kagami. She put her book down on the chair and turned to look at Marinette again — not just look at, but scrutinise. And Marinette had stopped completely just inside the door, with twinkling eyes and a half-open mouth, even as Sabine was switching to inside shoes and patting herself down to straighten her clothes.

It took until Sabine was doing the latter for Marinette to actually say anything. Her voice was breathless. “Wow, Mum… you have a really cool workplace…”

“It’s not my workplace, dear. It’s Kagami’s home.”

Kagami swallowed. That was a highly debatable statement.

“It’s really big!” said Marinette, glancing at Kagami only for a second before turning to Sabine. “Do you clean this whole place every day?”

“No,” said Sabine, and this time she did laugh a little out loud. “I work in the kitchen and do the laundry. I don’t think any single person could clean this whole house.”

Marinette turned fully towards Kagami and smiled awkwardly. “Well, I guess you must have a lot of employees here, then?”

“N— no,” said Kagami, looking down at her feet. “Sabine-san is the only one.”

“What? Really?” said Marinette, and how dare she judge, how dare she act like she was better, how dare she — “How do you keep all this clean?”

“I have always cleaned our home myself.” It felt like an embarrassment to say it — even as she thought it was a proud statement to make. Her own hands had kept the house together after Father died, after Mother drowned herself in work and failed to pay attention to the world around her. Kagami was independent and strong. And yet Marinette had the gall to stand there and just… do whatever wshe was doing.

“Was your old place as big as this?”

“No!”

Marinette shared a look with Sabine, and how dare she, and then she turned back and said, “Okay, um, can I help?”

Kagami felt like whatever she had been racing ahead in suddenly juddered to a halt. “... W-what?”

“Well, this is a big place to keep clean all by yourself… If I help a bit, maybe it’ll be easier?”

“Marinette wanted to follow me to work today,” said Sabine, pulling Marinette’s arm towards her and pointing very firmly at the shoe rack. “It’s her off day today, and she was interested in getting to know you better. She thought it might be interesting. I hope that doesn’t cause you any trouble, Kagami dear?”

It was hardly a question. It was a statement of intent, but phrased as a question to sound less like a demand. Marinette was already putting on inside shoes; telling her to go away at this point would just be rude.

As for Marinette’s question…

“That will be fine, Sabine-san. Thank you.”

“Were you planning to help me today as well, Kagami?” Sabine went on.

That also wasn’t a question. But in a different way: she was just allowing Kagami the opportunity to give the answer they both knew was coming. Or at the very least, Kagami knew and Sabine assumed, but Sabine’s eyes were not the eyes of someone who expected to be wrong.

In a way, it was terrifying to be read so easily. But it was also strangely comforting. To have someone who understood.

Yes — Sabine would have been the perfect soulmate. And Kagami would curse the universe every day of her remaining life for instead giving her the soulmate who was unavailable, physically and emotionally, at all times. The soulmate who was ringed in by twenty other suitors at all times, but who wanted nobody.

The soulmate who still showed up today and offered to help with chores around the house.

Kagami frowned at Marinette for a moment. Then she looked back to Sabine and bowed. “Yes, I’m going to help.”

“Good,” said Sabine, a mastermind who had already planned out what was going to happen. “Then you and Marinette can work together. I’m sure you’ll have lots to talk about.”

Kagami frowned at Marinette again. Marinette, for her part, looked a little startled.

“We might,” said Kagami.

“Then I will get started on dinner, and the two of you can probably find something else to work on, hmm?” Sabine carried her handbag past Kagami and up the stairs, winking as she passed. “You know the house better than I do, after all.”

Kagami didn’t reply. She just followed Sabine halfway up the steps only with her eyes, then turned back to Marinette — who was suddenly only a few feet away, slightly bent forward, her hands linked behind her back.

“So you never answered on Saturday,” said Marinette, just as Kagami jolted in surprise.

“... Answered?”

“Yes. I asked you to tell me some more about you, and you just ran away.” Marinette wrinkled her nose. “Wait, are you a private person? You don’t have to answer, but it… like, it would be nice to know a bit more about you.”

Marinette was far too close. Kagami swallowed. “Can we… find a job to do first?”

“Oh! Right,” said Marinette, leaning back. As Kagami sighed in relief, Marinette went on, “What should we do, then? Laundry? Dusting? Clean the bathroom? How many bathrooms do you have in a house like this?”

“We have three,” said Kagami, looking to the side. “One for each floor.”

“Should we clean them, then?”

“No.” Kagami shook her head, still looking away from Marinette. “We have only lived here for seven days. The house hasn’t had time to become dirty yet.” She didn’t mention that she had restricted her own movements to the kitchen, the bathroom outside Mother’s bedroom office, and her own bedroom — or that she’d cleaned them all thoroughly yesterday.

Marinette rolled her shoulders. “Well, do you need help unpacking, then? If it’s only been seven days? I’ll help you out.”

“I don’t need help,” said Kagami —

— except no, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t even true in her own confused little brain. She could do everything on her own in a literal sense, could unpack every box except some of the larger ones with no assistance, she could even do Sabine’s job on her own. Her body could carry out all the chores, all the little housework and all the mealmaking and all the upkeep required, as long as she ignored most of the rooms in the house.

But she did need help, or she would be driven mad. She had gone on for years dreaming about a soulmate who would help her with the dishes, who could take some of the weight off her shoulders. Someone who enjoyed doing it, unlike Kagami who did it purely because it was necessary. And necessity was a terrible motivator.

“Do you like to do chores?” she asked, more quietly than before.

“Me? Well, uh…” said Marinette. “I can’t say scrubbing floors is my favourite thing in the world, but I like having something to do. I hate sitting still, you know?”

Kagami thought back to the many times she had made Marinette’s soul sit still in chairs to pose for drawings. There had never been any protests there — then again, a soul couldn’t speak.

She sighed, and started up the stairs. “Come with me.”

“Okay!” chirped Marinette. “Where are we going?”

“Are you strong, Marinette? Can you lift heavy objects?”

“Um,” said Marinette; Kagami didn’t look back at her, but she did hear Marinette’s feet following her softly up the stairs. “I can lift some heavy things? I help at the bakery sometimes. So I have to carry flour and stuff…”

“Are you truly clumsy, or is that just your spirit when I summon it?”

Marinette didn’t say anything. Kagami stopped at the top of the stairs and turned around, and saw that Marinette was looking down at her feet.

Then, as Marinette also reached the top step, she came to a stop: “Did you summon me a lot?”

Her voice was low, but still clear. There was something like resentment in it, and Kagami felt the jab deep inside her chest.

“I… have summoned you often, yes.”

“Why’d you do that? If you don’t even want me,” Marinette continued. She glanced up just for a moment, then dropped her gaze again.

The answer, of course, was going to require admitting something embarrassing. And Kagami wondered for a moment what would be the least awful thing to say, while still speaking the truth. “I…”

“Did you also summon me for… tests at school? Or sports? Or… whatever.”

“No. I did not. I only summoned you at home, to… observe you.”

Marinette’s eyes widened, but they were still aimed at the floor.

“I wanted to… know who you were. What you were like,” Kagami went on. She couldn’t mention the drawings, because then Marinette would ask to see them. She couldn’t let Marinette into her room, because then Marinette would see the box and ask about it. “I was connected to you. It was natural to be curious.”

“So you didn’t use me for chores or homework?” said Marinette — was there a trace of hopefulness in her tone right now? — “How did you find out I’m clumsy?”

“I walked you around the house. You stumbled a lot.”

“Right.” Marinette sighed, folded her arms. “Okay. But did you just… stare at me? Or what?”

And now Kagami was backed into a corner. Because if she mentioned the drawings, Marinette would realise that she wasn’t being truthful about not wanting a relationship. And if she didn’t mention the drawings, she would come off as creepy. She definitely couldn’t mention holding Marinette’s hands, or falling asleep while embracing her.

“… I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said after a little while. “I just wanted to know more about you. I was lonely.”

“Hunh,” said Marinette. But — something seemed to change in her. The dormant anger seemed to have faded away, leaving… something else, which Kagami couldn’t read. “Well… okay.”

Kagami opened her mouth. Before she could say anything, though, Marinette shot her arms down again and looked up.

“Actually,” said Marinette, and now her voice was clear and direct. Even though her eyes didn’t land directly on Kagami, or even anywhere close. “It’s fine to summon me. It’s not like I can stop anyone. You’re meant to summon your soulmate, right? So she can help you. I can’t tell you no, or — or anyone. Use me, or whatever.”

No. No, her voice wasn’t clear and direct. It was just a little louder than before. “That’s not how you really feel, is it?”

“I…” started Marinette, but she couldn’t keep the bravado up for long. She glanced at Kagami for a moment, then looked away again. “M-maybe. I just… I’m not very comfortable with the idea of being… used. Maybe I’d be fine with it if it was just one person, but… I have so many people who call on me to do whatever they want. All the time. It’s like… you know. Like I don’t matter? Like they don’t really need me, they just need the, the spirit thingy. And I guess a lot of them actually want me on top of that, but… when they call me it’s like, I don’t even know it’s happening. I can’t tell them what they can and can’t do to me.”

Kagami felt like she was falling through empty, cold air. “Like… holding your hand?”

Marinette’s eyes bulged a little. “I — I guess, but I was thinking stuff like… kissing. Touching other bits.”

“Embracing you in bed…”

“Yeah. Yeah… things like that…”

That was a thing to never ever bring up, then. And just as importantly: a thing to never do again. “Have you told everyone to stop?” said Kagami, quietly, so quietly she worried it would give something away.

But Marinette didn’t seem to catch anything. She raised both hands, shook her head vigorously. “No! No, I can’t — I can’t do that. It’s like… it’s not really me, right? It just looks like me. If I, if I don’t know about it it won’t hurt me, right? So I… I haven’t told anyone. I can’t… tell the universe it’s wrong. Everyone in the world summons their soulmate to help them with stuff, and they do it for romantic stuff too, so that’s just how — how it’s supposed to be. And my soulmates, they don’t have anyone else, right? Well, except Kim, he’s got two soulmates… but it’s not fair if I stop people from doing what everyone else does. Right?”

Kagami wanted to shout. She wanted to say, whether or not you know about it, it’s obviously hurting you anyway. She wanted to say, it’s not fair to you that you don’t have a say in your own soul. She wanted to say, this isn’t about the universe, it’s about you.

But each and every one of those things would be hypocritical. She hadn’t even once considered how Marinette might feel about being summoned so often to sit in a chair and be stared at for hours. To be called on just so Kagami could have a shoulder to cry on and a body to hug and imagine warm. Not until the conversation with Sabine in the kitchen.

She had sworn off Marinette, the person, already. She ought to also swear off Marinette’s spirit. Marinette would have solitude from her…

… though, of course, not from anyone else.

“Are you okay with hugs?” said Kagami — and the words were a surprise even to herself, and Marinette briefly looked like she was going to say no, and they both stood there like they were frightened of one another — but then Marinette sank together into a faint little smile.

“I’m okay with hugs,” she said. “I… I like hugs.”

“Okay,” said Kagami. She hesitated — started forward then pulled back — swallowed — then took the whole step forward.

When her arms wrapped around Marinette, and Marinette’s arms gingerly did the same in reverse, it didn’t feel physically different from hugging Marinette’s soul. The shapes — the bumps and curves and lines and depressions that made up the topographical map of Marinette, they were all the same. But the overall sensation was incredibly different: the real Marinette didn’t need to be imagined warm. The real Marinette also hugged with a fervour that wasn’t there in the spirit. Like she actually wanted the hug to happen.

“Why are you telling me these things?” said Kagami.

Marinette sighed against Kagami’s shoulder. “I told you on Saturday, right? You don’t want me. So… so I’m not, like, taking anything away from you.”

Kagami frowned. That was a sentence comprised almost entirely of half truths. But also —

“What about Ivan-san? Or Nathaniel-san?”

“They… I don’t know. They still use me for things. And Ivan didn’t get Mylène, so I’d be putting him out if I told him no… same with Nath. He doesn’t have Marc. I don’t wanna be unfair…”

“That’s not unfair,” said Kagami, wrenching out of the hug, putting her hands on Marinette’s shoulders. She glared into Marinette’s surprise-filled eyes. “The unfair thing is that you have to deal with so many people.”

There was a double edge to what she was saying, of course. Five days ago, she would have said it was unfair because she didn’t have sole access to Marinette; today, the complaint was spoken aloud for Marinette’s sake. But the selfish side of her words was still there, even though she wished it weren’t.

“But — the universe assigned them to me, right? So that means it’s my responsibility…”

“Then maybe the universe is wrong,” said Kagami. “Maybe it’s not an authority you should listen to.”

Marinette opened her mouth — then closed it. Her eyes fell again, landing somewhere between their feet. And Kagami wondered if she had said something wrong on accident, and was about to ask, but then Marinette looked up again.

“Kagami… when you fenced with Adrien last week… why were you upset that I was his soulmate?”

Ah. They were at this part of the conversation.

But before she could answer, Marinette spoke again. “And is it true you told everyone in class you wanted to have me?”

Kagami let go of Marinette’s shoulders. Took a half step back. She wasn’t sure if she’d wanted that to be a secret — let alone if she even thought it was secret in the first place. She had barely even thought about it. Of course Marinette talked to the others about her. Of course Marinette saw what happened at fencing school, and had enough of a brain to realise what it was about. It was time for honesty, now.

“I did say that, yes.”

“So…”

“I did want to have you. I wanted to be put in the rotation and compete for you, just like everyone else,” said Kagami. She looked straight at Marinette; there was no use in looking away. “But I changed my mind.”

“Why did you change your mind,” Marinette asked the floor. “When.”

“I changed my mind when Adrien-san told me you ran away from me on Wednesday. He said it was probably because of me that you stayed away from school.

“And… you just stopped wanting me?” said Marinette, raising her head slightly but not entirely.

“Yes,” said Kagami, but — that was false. And from the look in Marinette’s eye, she was still doubtful. It was necessary now to be even more honest. “Actually… I was disappointed. I still wanted to have you. I think I still do, but with everything you’ve told me… I don’t need to lay claim to you.”

Marinette looked up. There was something deeply terrified in her eyes. “But — but then — you should have a chance too! Ignore everything I told you, I’ll make room, I’ll —”

“No!” said Kagami, her voice so loud that she almost surprised herself. She stepped forward and clutched Marinette’s upper arms. “You are not responsible for giving me anything! You have more than enough to worry about already. I was naïve to demand your time and I don’t want it anymore.”

“But —”

“You are not responsible for me. I will not summon your spirit ever again and I will not ask to date you. It is my choice to do these things, so please let me make it for myself. You don’t need to think of me at all.”

“… For real?” said Marinette. She still looked frightened, but — maybe a little less so now.

“Y-yes,” said Kagami. “I am being… serious.” Perhaps not truthful, because right now honesty was brushing up against her desire to help: she couldn’t stake a claim, because Marinette deserved better than to be pulled between so many people. Joining in as yet another dog to gnaw on the bone would just make things worse, even though she did still want to win her soulmate in a more abstract sense.

Perhaps it was wrong to call it abstract, too. Her desire was there. But she wouldn’t act on it, because the desire wasn’t for Marinette. It was for a soulmate, and for an escape, and Marinette was only incidentally connected to that. In fact, as long as Sabine worked as a housekeeper, Kagami would already have one of those things just by talking to her.

“You don’t want to… make me help you clean this entire house?” Marinette didn’t stammer — but she was very close to stammering. “I’m good at chores…”

Kagami shook her head. This part, at least, was easy to refute. “You aren’t responsible for this house. And you are not responsible for providing me comfort.”

“Not… not even when I’m here?”

“You —” started Kagami, but she ended with a sigh and looking away. “You can help today.”

Marinette’s hands grabbed Kagami’s arms somewhere near the elbows. The shock of that jolted Kagami into looking back at her, and then the shock of Marinette’s smile jolted Kagami into just staring like an idiot. It was… a lot stronger than any smile Marinette had shown before. Not buried under some layer of compulsion or propped up by responsibility, but just… standing on its own, without filter.

“What if we just ignore the whole soulmate thing, then? What if you and I just start over again, pretend that we don’t know each other, and… try to become friends normally?” said Marinette.

What a bizarre suggestion. Because no matter what, Kagami couldn’t overlook the fact that Marinette was her soulmate, couldn’t ignore that there was some unknown and bizarre connection between them that she also shared with at least sixteen other people. She couldn’t help but imagine what would have happened if Marinette lived in Shinjuku, by the train station, and they met while they were still ten.

On the other hand… it was very liberating to just imagine ignoring it all. It was all pointless anyway, a pile of shattered hopes and smouldering disappointments; she could never have the Marinette she had dreamed of. To just become Marinette’s friend away from all that — to not have to worry about entwining their lives forever, to not become responsible for Marinette — it was an exhilarating thought.

She smiled. “Yes — yes, I think I’d like that.”

“Okay, okay,” said Marinette, pulling Kagami’s hands off her shoulders and stepping back. She let go completely of Kagami and stood up straight and cleared her throat and smiled easily and said, “Okay. I’ll go first. Ahem… Hello! It’s nice to meet you. I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng, I’m fourteen years old, and I’ve lived in Paris my whole life. I go to Collège Françoise Dupont, er, final year, my parents own a bakery, and I’m half Chinese and one fourth Italian but I only really speak French. And, er, yes. That’s me! Now it’s your turn.”

Kagami blinked. “Um… okay,” she said, a little off balance. “It’s… it’s nice to meet you too.” She managed a bow.

“Hey, you gotta tell me about yourself now,” said Marinette. Her tone was just a little bit whiny, but in a playful and not an annoying way.

“Right.” Kagami unbent and looked Marinette in the face, and quickly realised that Marinette was such an attentive listener that she was paying attention even when Kagami wasn’t saying anything. “I, er… I’m Tsurugi Kagami. I’m from Shinjuku, Tokyo, Japan, but I moved to Paris one week ago. My mother runs Tsurugi Technologies and spends most of her time working, and my father is dead. And I’m thirteen but I’ll be fourteen later this year. And I speak Japanese, French, Russian, English, and Chinese, and I’m also learning German but I’m not fluent yet.”

She only realised once she stopped talking that Marinette’s expression had changed into one of horror.

“I’m so sorry about your dad,” said Marinette. “I didn’t know…”

“… Don’t be,” said Kagami. “He wasn’t nice.”

The horror mixed in with a frown now. “That only makes it worse.”

Kagami found herself a little perplexed. “Why is it worse?”

“Because that means you never had a — um, sorry.” For a moment, Marinette had worked herself up into something that resembled indignant anger; then suddenly it vanished, getting replaced with scrunched anxiety. “Is… if your mum’s busy all the time, is that why you’re doing all the housework?”

“We hired Sabine-san when we moved here,” said Kagami, unwilling to answer the question. “Because this house is a lot bigger. Our last home was a single-floor apartment.”

“Yeah, but… you need an army for a place like this. Adrien’s place is just a little bit bigger than this and they have like a dozen people. Mme Temps is only there to make food and she works basically full time with meal prep and cooking.”

Kagami raised an eyebrow. “You know the names of their employees? Do you help them as well?”

“Well… no,” sighed Marinette. “But Adrien knows them all. And I like to talk to people.”

Indubitably. They had talked a lot for all the time they’d spent together, mostly at Marinette’s behest. “Do you often visit people at home?”

“Yeah! I’ve visited everyone in class. And I usually visit a soulmate once a week, but Mr Agreste sometimes doesn’t let me come over because he’s kind of a jerk. And, er, oh no, I shouldn’t have said that, should I?”

Kagami raised one eyebrow, again, but the other one this time. “Why do you say that?”

“Because we weren’t supposed to talk about s-soulmate stuff?”

“I told you, you are not responsible for me,” said Kagami, folding her arms. They were supposed to ignore their soulmate connection, not forget that soulmates existed at all.

“Oh… right,” said Marinette. Her worried frown slowly melted into a pleasant smile. “Right! I mean, I’m still going to try not to remind you, but… thanks.”

Then, before Kagami could even take a breath to reply, Marinette continued: “You’re very kind, Kagami.”

This time, Kagami didn’t raise either eyebrow. She just stared, taken completely off guard. Her ears were rushing. Kind? She had never once in her life considered herself to be kind, but the compliment bounced around inside her head like a revelation. “Th-thank you?”

Marinette replied with a smile at first; then she put her hands together. “Anyway, what can I help you with? I can help unpack, I can clean, I can make food… what do you want me to do?”

“Sabine is making food,” said Kagami, and felt a little stupid for pointing it out. A second thought was entering her brain, bouncing alongside the compliment but somehow without colliding with it: Marinette was incredibly kind. She was her mother’s daughter, through and through.

“Well, whatever you want, I’ll help,” said Marinette.

Kagami somehow relaxed into a smile. “You can help me pack out in the living room, then,” she said.

“Okay!” said Marinette.

And it was.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kagami’s first proper school day started okay. Adrien-san had messaged her the evening before and asked if she was registered yet. When she said she was, he offered her a ride to class, and so that morning she was picked up outside the garden gate in a large black limousine.

“Hey, Kagami… do you still want to fence?” said Adrien-san, the first thing said between them in the car that wasn’t a simple pleasantry.

That again, huh. She had barely considered it since Wednesday. There had been too many things to think about in the intervening time to even remember her disappointment; if anything that minor setback was the least important thing to have happened since she arrived in Paris.

“Your sensei didn’t seem like he wanted me to join.”

“I talked to him yesterday,” said Adrien-san. “I said he should give you another chance. He loves to train talented fencers, but he really doesn’t like it when students are late. I told him you just moved and that’s why you were late, so… he said he’d give you another chance, as long as you show up on time.”

She sighed. Fencing was rewarding — she could unwind with it. And it would give her more time to spend with Adrien-san. But it wasn’t a necessary part of her weekly routine, either… and if Adrien-san was the academy’s best student, she had already graduated past all the others.

“He was really impressed with your abilities. Seriously, the only thing he complained about was you were late. He’ll let you have another go on Wednesday next week, if you want. What do you think?”

“Who got the actual place in the academy?”

Adrien-san breathed out through pursed lips. “Well… technically Marinette, because she did the best out of everyone else. But because of… you know, everything, she’ll only actually be there on my weeks. Rest of the time she’ll be DJing with Nino or jogging with Théo, or what have you, so that’s also why he wants to let you have another chance. Marinette’s more of a ghost student than a real one, so there’s still an open spot.”

“Ah,” said Kagami. Well, it was time to make the announcement to everyone today, so she might as well get started early. “On the topic of Marinette, I will not pursue her after all. I’ve talked the issue over with her and concluded that I don’t want to participate in the competition for her heart.”

He blinked at her, eyes wide. “What?”

“I said I give up. I don’t need to be fitted into her schedule for the weekly rotation.”

She didn’t add, ‘I think the rotation is barbaric and silly and she’s just too afraid to tell you.’ It wouldn’t do to antagonise him over this, not unless Marinette found the bravery to say something herself.

“Oh. Well, if you say so,” he said, though he also obviously had something more to say. “But, uh… you know she’ll let you try, right? She’s very open —”

“Yes. I know that very well,” said Kagami and sighed. “My lack of interest abides.”

He nodded quietly, and didn’t say another word. Though there was something about his expression that was hard to interpret — was it approval? He didn’t look sad about it, at least.

It was his prerogative, anyway. She would not, and could not, control him in this. And she did have the distinct feeling, from the conversation they had last Thursday, that he did care about giving Marinette space.

Although…

“Adrien-san,” she said.

“Yes?”

“When you summoned Marinette’s spirit during the fencing match… did you plan to use her beforehand?”

There were a few seconds of silence before he answered, and his answer was an irritating “I’m not sure.”

“Adrien-san.”

“I mean it,” he said, raising a hand in quasi-defence. “I always have her in the back of my mind, but I… I try not to use her too much. I always feel like she’s a little upset when I summon her, but she says it’s fine, so… I don’t know. I’m never sure when I use her. But I think in our fencing match I didn’t want to use her.”

Kagami furrowed her brows. “Why?”

“Because… she was there? I think.”

So he wasn’t callous. He was just naïve enough to listen to Marinette and assume she spoke the truth. That was in line with the Adrien-san she knew, and in all honesty she couldn’t even say it was his fault.

Then again, it also felt wrong to call it Marinette’s fault… who could be at fault, in a system like this? Where the universe decided and everyone else simply followed along?

They came to a stop outside the school building soon after, and apart from a stop just above the stairs to greet Alya-san and Nino-san and explain that Kagami was a proper student now, they went straight up to the classroom. Adrien-san offered to share the bench with her in the back row again; this week, he wasn’t supposed to sit next to Marinette, after all.

As the clock crept closer to the first bell of the day, Marinette remained absent. Chloé-san sat down on the front bench, in the seat marked with red tape. Adrien-san explained that the red tape was Max-san’s idea of a joke, at which point Max-san turned his head and grinned.

“Hot-seat,” he said.

The teacher — Bustier-sensei — entered soon after, caught sight of Kagami, and waved her down with a smile. Apparently, she wanted Kagami to present herself to everyone at the start of class; as such, Kagami remained standing there, because it was only a minute to the bell. The green seat next to Chloé-san remained unoccupied, but Chloé-san didn’t seem bothered at all. In fact, as the bell rang, she summoned Marinette’s spirit to sit in the empty seat, and grasped its hand as though in an intimate gesture.

“Okay, class!” said Bustier-sensei, and the class immediately fell to silence. “We have a new student today! She was here last week on a visit, but from now on she will join the class full time — yes, Kim?”

Kim-san had raised his hand. “Sorry, Miss. But is Marinette gone today?”

Bustier-sensei shook her head. “No, she hasn’t said she won’t be here.”

“Ah,” said Kim-san. “Thank you.”

“Either way,” Bustier-sensei went on, as Kagami felt herself turn into something sour and grumpy. What type of entitlement was this, for him to interrupt with something so trivial while something else was happening? For nobody to side-eye him for his impudence? “Kagami, would you mind saying a few words about yourself, so everyone can get to know you better?”

“Yes,” said Kagami. She took a step forward and cleared her throat, and stared at the space of nothing between the bench rows. “I am Kagami Tsurugi. I moved here at the start of last week, into the mansion next to Adrien-san’s. I come from Tokyo, in Japan, and Adrien-san is an old family friend.”

Some people struck grimaces at that last comment. She did her best to ignore it. Instead, she looked straight at Chloé-san and added, “And I will not be participating in the contest for Marinette’s heart.”

Chloé-san’s reaction was minimal. At most, she shrugged, though it was a very tiny shrug if so. A couple others gained temporary expressions of surprise, but nobody said anything.

In fact, the first word that was said by anyone was when the door crashed open, and Marinette half-fell through, only held up by her grip on the handle.

And the word was spoken by Marinette and was a simple, “S-sorry!”

“That’s fine, Marinette,” said Bustier-sensei, though she was obviously a little exasperated. “Kagami, perhaps you’d like to repeat what you said so Marinette can hear it, too?”

Marinette, who had scrambled over to the bench and was about to start inching her way along it to the green-taped seat, which was not-so-incidentally taken by her own spirit, paused mid-sit. “Hear what?”

“Marinette already knows all of it,” said Kagami, looking straight at Marinette. Marinette met the gaze, and a short while later she seemed to have caught on.

“Y-yes!” said Marinette, sitting all the way down. “She’s Kagami, she’s Japanese and used to live in Shinjuku but she speaks like a dozen languages, she’s very nice, she’s amazing at fencing and I’m her soulmate but she’s not trying to date me!” She beamed after saying all that, like she was proud of it — Kagami found herself going red in the face. There was no need to say half of those things, and one of them was just false —

“What languages do you speak, Kagami?” said Max-san, raising his hand as he spoke.

Kagami swallowed. “Er. I only speak five languages. Marinette is exaggerating.”

“But which ones?” he insisted, apparently without mockery.

“I, er,” started Kagami. Damn Marinette to hell. “I speak Japanese and French, Chinese, English, and Russian.”

“And German!” supplied Marinette. “Kind of.”

Kagami turned to Bustier-sensei, still flushed in the face. “Permission to sit down?”

Bustier-sensei answered with a sympathetic little smile. “Of course. Go and have a seat, and we’ll start the class properly.”

“Thank you.”

Kagami slipped back to Adrien-san, whose smile was also sympathetic and little. She shrugged at him as he took his place.

In the front row, Marinette took her seat. Her spirit, summoned by Chloé-san, got squeezed between the two of them. And yet Chloé-san didn’t unsummon it, nor even seem to register the awkward seating arrangement; the two Marinettes, real and translucent, were smushed together and slightly apart from Chloé-san.

About ten minutes into class, Bustier-sensei asked Chloé-san to take the spirit away. Presumably she could also see the discomfort that had to be etched in Marinette’s face right now. Chloé-san complied with a sigh, and class went on.

For free periods, nothing much of note happened. Kagami was accosted at her desk by other students each time, either to just strike up a conversation, or to ask her to speak one of the languages. Nathaniel-san in specific tried to engage her in a conversation in German, though neither of them were actually fluent — he said his parents came from there, but that he’d never made an effort to learn properly.

The first free period held the most interesting conversation. Alix-san spun around in her seat right after the bell rang — as Adrien-san excused himself to use the restrooms — and raised both thumbs. “Welcome to the aroace club?”

“I… don’t know what that is,” said Kagami.

“Means you don’t wanna date anyone. Or have sex with them.”

Kagami shot her eyes up wide. “I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t scare her,” said Max-san with a resigned eyeroll, before turning to Kagami. “She’s wondering if you have decided to avoid romance altogether, or just Marinette.”

“I don’t know.” Avoid romance? She was hardly even avoiding Marinette, given that Marinette had been at her house for four hours the day before. Romance… that part she would need to think about a lot more. To disentangle it from her idea of a soulmate, to disentangle it from her frustrations at home.

She knew she wanted companionship. She wanted someone to talk to. Not an Aoi-san who would move away to be with her soulmate, or a Midori-san who got so preoccupied with finding hers that she essentially went no contact. Or even a Marinette-san, whose schedule seemed to be filled to the brim purely out of a sense of duty.

But if everyone had soulmates, and wanted to spend as much time as possible with their soulmates… didn’t that mean she needed a soulmate to have a proper friend? That was yet another unfairness of the universe: that you were guided to be with one person your whole life, and to monopolise them. Mother made tools to bring everyone together, and other than phones those tools were the items that Tsurugi sold the most of. As Marinette said, one girl could not contradict the entire universe. Especially not when the world danced to the universe’s music.

Unmei no akai ito ni shitagatte. Follow the red string of fate. That was the slogan for the So-ru Souchi line of devices, one which Kagami had followed slavishly like it was the red string it talked about. But now she had cut that string off, and she hadn’t yet figured out what other strings she was attached to.

Maybe she did still want love, or maybe she just wanted an ear that would listen. Maybe all she wanted was for Sabine to still come and do housework four days of the week, so that she wouldn’t feel alone in the city’s second largest house. Maybe she wanted something completely different. Maybe she would be comfortable living with herself as her only companion.

“What would it feel like if I didn’t want to date anyone?”

Alix-san grinned like being allowed to explain this was equivalent to winning a major award. “Well, first of all, you don’t want it. Second of all, if someone asks you to date them, you feel a little sick in your mouth. And third you’d rather die than have sex.”

Kagami felt another rush of blood sear her cheeks. But Max-san stepped before she could protest the wording. “It does not need to feel like that. For me it just feels like I’m not very interested, so I don’t really ask for it.”

“But… are you not in the rotation for Marinette?” said Kagami, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I am,” he said. His smile turned awkward. “She’s my soulmate, right? Maybe I’ll develop feelings for her later. I don’t want to give up on something potentially life-changing just because I don’t feel anything right now.”

So… he, too, was chasing something because the universe told him he needed to. Not because he wanted it for its own sake.

“Would you want to date her if she weren’t your soulmate?”

He shook his head. “I’d still want to be her friend, though. She’s really good at UMS.”

“UMS?”

“It’s a video game. We play it whenever it’s my week, and she beats me every time.” The admission seemed to embarrass him a little. “I used to hate it, but I like just… hanging out with her. Just as friends. Maybe I’ll be able to fall in love with a friend?”

“I’m not worrying about all that, though,” said Alix-san, rolling her eyes. “My soulmate is me. Means I’ll never fall in love with anyone.”

Kagami widened her eyes. “Your soulmate is what?”

“Me,” replied Alix-san, twirling her hand. A ghostly, grey, fog-textured spirit appeared on the stairs next to her seat. It was unquestionably her — from the hair, to the body shape, to the lax posture and the cap atop the head. “Gotta say, I was surprised when I found out, but it’s pretty comfy like this. And it’s a hundred times better than having to wait in line for two months just to hold hands with Marinette, too.”

In other words, a lot of people at this school had weird soulmate problems. Even those who didn’t have Marinette.

Quietly, Kagami wondered if maybe she would have seen similar things in Japan if only she knew more people there. Midori-san, Aoi-san, they both found their real soulmates. But what about her other classmates, the ones she rarely if ever talked to? Were there defects like this among them? Or was there just something particular about Marinette that bent the universe around her?

“Honestly,” Alix-san added, after a short silence. “I think Marinette’s soulmate is herself, too. She’s never shown her soulmate to anyone, and I think if she had a real soulmate she’d just say here, this is my soulmate, all the rest of you can just give up.”

“It would be very weird if two people in our class had themselves for a soulmate,” said Max-san.

“Weirder than eleven people having Marinette?” said Alix-san, her voice almost completely flat; it barely even sounded like a question.

He breathed in through his nose. “Perhaps not…”

Kagami frowned, though. Alix-san’s assessment of Marinette wasn’t right. If Marinette had a specific soulmate, she would still be afraid to bring that up, because she was already letting everyone walk all over her. That would still be the case if she had, for example, Kagami as a soulmate.

At the front of the classroom, Chloé-san was demanding Marinette’s total obedience. Currently, that amounted to braiding Chloé-san’s hair. Marinette had had years of thinking about her situation, and had probably come to many conclusions about how she felt. Was she attracted to anyone at all? She didn’t want to do anything beyond holding hands — did that mean she also wasn’t interested in romance? Was she repelled by the idea of dating?

“Anyway, Marinette’s told all of you she won’t fall for you, right?” said Alix-san.

Max-san solemnly adjusted his spectacles. “Probably,” he said. “She said she probably won’t. But she’s still participating, so I think she’s just waiting for the right person.”

And that was also something Marinette had said on Saturday. Which was incredibly frustrating. Somehow, the girl’s mystery just kept getting new layers.

Well, it was no longer Kagami’s business. She didn’t need to concern herself with unpacking anything that was going on in Marinette’s brain, because the important part of the unpacking would have to be done by Marinette’s soulmate. Or whoever of the twenty-or-so people that had her as their soulmate who actually wanted a part of this.

She wasn’t interested in the slightest.

Why was Marinette letting herself be bossed around like this? Chloé-san had even summoned Marinette’s spirit to help with the braiding, Marinette exchanging strips of hair with her own soul as they meticulously folded them together into a thick ponytail shape. And both Marinette and Sabine-san had very clearly expressed discomfort at the thought of anyone using her spirit.

Was it because the spirit was there, observable, under Marinette’s close supervision? If so, that was incredibly stupid. Marinette was being treated as a commodity, in both existences rather than just one of them.

There was another test in the last class before lunch, in mathematics. The teacher, who was not Bustier-sensei but instead a woman called Mendeleiev, made explicit note that no soulmates would be allowed during the test.

Kagami stared at the back of Marinette’s head then. Did Marinette seem relieved by this? Or did she not care? But Marinette’s reaction was difficult to read. Her shoulders did seem to droop a little, but her face changed very little. At least the tiny part of it that was visible to Kagami from so far back and at such a bad angle.

“What’s wrong?” Adrien-san asked her during lunch.

“What?” she said, turning towards him.

He shrugged. “You have been staring at Chloé and Marinette a lot today.”

Kagami and Adrien were sitting at a round two-person table in the cafeteria, a little secluded from everyone else. They were, however, not hidden, and had a pretty good view of — well, Chloé-san and Marinette. The two girls, or rather the four girls because Marinette’s soul and Sabrina-san were also there, had taken their places at a six-seater table. Sabrina-san was eating normally and staying within the acceptable limits for a cafeteria arrangement.

Chloé was leaning back and having Marinette feed her lunch. Both Marinettes.

“You mean you don’t see what’s wrong with that?” said Kagami, raising an eyebrow.

“Well…” said Adrien. He dragged the word out to a frankly ridiculous length, as though he did in fact see but was uncomfortable admitting it, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “Chloé has always been a little…”

“Awful?”

He sighed. “I was going to say lonely.”

“‘Lonely’.”

“Yeah, she… I was her only friend growing up. Then we both turned out to have Marinette as soulmates, so that got a bit awkward… she’s got a competitive streak, so… she got closer with Sabrina after that but honestly, I think she sees Marinette as her way out. Because, like, the bond and all that. You know.”

Kagami frowned at him. “You think loneliness means she can just do whatever she wants with Marinette?”

“No! No, no. I think she’s probably a little overeager… but I can’t say we don’t all get a bit weird around Marinette. And besides, Marinette thinks it’s okay…”

Her frown turned even deeper. “You already know that’s false, Adrien-san. Otherwise you would be less considerate of Marinette.”

He looked down then. “I mean… I guess. But am I supposed to just… tell her how she feels? If she doesn’t want to talk about it with anyone, then that’s her choice, right?”

“Adrien-san —”

“Also, we’re not supposed to interrupt. Between soulmates, I mean. If I tell Chloé how to behave around Marinette it’ll look like I’m jealous, so we all decided to just… not do anything about each other’s habits. Chloé does what she wants with Marinette, and Max does what he wants, and Nino does what he wants, and… well, it keeps the peace, I guess.”

Kagami felt like she had been slapped in the face. “You mean… everyone is just tiptoeing around each other, without considering the person you are actually trying to court?”

“Well, when you put it like that it sounds kind of bad, but…”

“She is just an object to you?”

“No!” said Adrien. Briefly, there was a flame in his eyes, before he dropped them to the table again. His thumbs twiddled. “No… I really do care about her, it’s just… it’s difficult to know what to do. If I said anything to Chloé, everyone would be upset because I didn’t hold the line. And what if people start fighting over Marinette? Everything would just be chaos and everything would just get worse. Marinette needs some stability in her life, I think, and even if Chloé’s kind of using her as a servant I think she prefers it to having people shouting about her in the classroom.”

“You really think people would do that?” said Kagami, her sharpness failing a little. His meek tone was difficult to stay upset with; he sounded genuine in his reasoning.

“I don’t know… I don’t want to risk it, though. For her sake. And besides, it’s not like anyone’s hurting her…”

Well. Physically, that might be true. But emotionally, spiritually, judging by the things Marinette had said yesterday, she wasn’t exactly doing well about everything going on either.

“What would you do if someone did hurt her?” said Kagami, looking over at Marinette again. Currently, Marinette was done feeding Chloé, and sat drinking from a juice carton in the adjacent seat. The spirit Marinette was still standing upright, holding a small bowl of grapes that she occasionally lowered to Chloé’s reaching-in range.

Adrien didn’t reply at once.

“Adrien-san?”

“I…” he started, as an immediate response to her prod, but he quickly faded into the same silence he had right before. It took several seconds for him to finally continue. “I don’t know. I’d be upset but I’m not sure what I could actually do, without making things worse… it’s a whole system to deal with, you know? Maybe I’d talk to everyone else and try to discuss what to do about the person who hurt her. I really don’t think anyone would do that but…”

But he would not talk to Marinette, clearly. He must only want to talk to the important people, who were everyone except the person he supposedly cared about.

Or no — that was uncharitable. He had always been soft and understated, lacking in initiative, just like his fencing. Even so, he was clearly trying. He had just been rendered inconsiderate by the situation he was in, which seemed to have told him that he needed to consider everyone else before Marinette.

Perhaps that was true for everyone in this whole debacle. Marinette had literally become an object, because the system of soulmates had turned the process of romancing her into a bureaucracy. Items to cross off a list, people to contact and messages to relay, in order to achieve an objective. Bureaucracy was there to accommodate for large amounts of people, and Marinette was certainly dealing with an amount of people that ought to be considered large.

And bureaucracy made you forget the people caught up in it. Like when Kagami needed to keep track of everything after moving to Paris, and forgot the superbly important detail that she needed to meet with the housekeeper.

“If the time comes that someone does hurt Marinette, Adrien-san, I hope you will think of her first of all.”

“I always do,” he said, smiling faintly.

Hopefully, he was right. But Kagami wasn’t convinced that she had gotten her point across properly.

“Can I ask you a question, Kagami?” said Adrien, after a brief pause.

She lifted her eyebrows. “Yes?”

“You call everyone -san, right? Chloé, Alya, Max, Marinette’s mum… even me. Right?”

“Yes,” she said, unsure where he was going with this.

“I notice you never say Marinette-san. How come?”

“Because…”

… actually, what was the answer? It used to be that she thought Marinette would be her partner for life. That they were destined, and so there was no need for honorifics. Everyone else was supposed to be at a distance, because they would never cross that threshold with her. But now that Marinette was off limits, that no longer made sense. In fact, there was only one answer that possibly could.

“… habit,” she finished, feeling bad for saying it.

He nodded, without saying anything. Which left her to wonder… would she cross over into Marinette-san now? And furthermore, who would she drop the honorific for if not Marinette?

There was no answer in her mind. Which was good, in a sense, because she felt that no matter what the answers were she would disagree with them.

A few moments later, Adrien-san opened his mouth again. “Would you call me Adrien? Without the -san?”

She blinked. “Just… Adrien?”

A silly little smile crawled over his lips. “Yes! Exactly like that. It’s fine to drop honorifics for just friends, right?”

It was a suggestion that… didn’t feel awful. He was her oldest friend, after all — but on the other hand, switching felt like a big hurdle. Especially because he was still after Marinette, so Kagami could not promise her heart to him. She would not because she couldn’t imagine how her heart could go to anyone at this point. Not unless they were fated for her, someone who had her as their universe-decreed connection, or at least someone who wanted her badly enough to fight the universe to get her. Her heart was not to be toyed with.

“I’ll think about it,” she said. And she added, “Adrien.”

His smile grew a little wider, a tad more confident. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“I know,” he said happily. That, at least, was good.

There was another pause. Kagami went back to eating, finding it more useful in the moment than continuing to stare at Marinette’s continued servitude. She did, however, register that Marinette was back up and massaging Chloé’s shoulders, with her spirit still holding the bowl of grapes.

“You know,” said Adrien, after a few bites from his own food, “since you’re not competing for Marinette… perhaps you could say something.”

Kagami shook her head. “I was too brazen when I first arrived. People would think I was lying when I rejected her.”

“Ah, yeah,” said Adrien, voice fading slightly weaker. “That’s true…”

They ate the rest of their lunch in silence and pleasantries, and the rest of the school day passed without much worth remarking upon. She conversed with her new classmates, observed Marinette’s resolute refusal to complain about her situation, and then walked home with Adrien-san. They split apart at her gate, and she walked inside to see Sabine’s shoes on the rack in the entryway.

“Oh, hello,” said Sabine, when Kagami went into the kitchen to look for her. “Good afternoon.”

Sabine only looked over her shoulder at Kagami, because she was cutting up vegetables, but her smile was as warm as the steaming pot on the stove beside her. Even though she was only taking up a small part of a much larger kitchen, a kitchen that had probably been built to accommodate several chefs to make food for dozens of people at dinner parties and soirees in the plastic-covered dining hall downstairs, she seemed to fill the space with her presence. Or maybe it was that because she was there, the rest of the kitchen simply disappeared. All that mattered was the little spot around the stove, and the path needed to walk towards it.

“Hello,” said Kagami, and followed the path with ginger steps.

“How was school, dear?” — that pet name again. One that either meant Sabine was putting too little esteem in her own daughter, or too much in Kagami.

But even so… Kagami wouldn’t complain.

“It was okay,” said Kagami. “Can I help?”

“You can help by telling me a story from school,” replied Sabine. There was a slight chuckle under her words, and she quickly added, “Only if you’re fine with it, of course. But I have dinner under control, so all I need now is a good conversation.”

A good conversation. Even though Kagami knew she was being buttered up in some way, the word ‘good’ still flowed through her like warm tea.

“I don’t have anything interesting to say,” she said nonetheless. “The day was unremarkable.”

“Are you sure? It was your first school day.” Sabine lifted up the cutting board and scraped the carrots into the pot with the knife. “Always full of impressions and people.”

“I had already met everyone,” said Kagami, frowning.

“So you had, so you had,” said Sabine. She half-sang the last three words. “Kagami, dear, would you mind getting an onion out of the fridge for me? I seem to have forgotten to take it out.”

“Oh,” said Kagami. “Yes. Of course.”

She turned to the fridge and opened it, as Sabine started cutting up tomatoes instead. The wooden board clicked comfortably each time the knife struck, like a dancing rhythm.

“Red or yellow onion?” said Kagami.

“Yellow,” said Sabine. “It will stand out more in the broth.”

Kagami extracted the packet of yellow onions and handed them over, though she looked more at the pot than at Sabine as she did so. “What are you making?”

“Bouillabaisse. A Marseillaise fish soup. I thought the two of you might appreciate a good fish dinner.”

“I see,” said Kagami. She kept looking at the pot, at the dark brown broth within it. There were pieces of fish floating in it, some pink and some white. “Fish is good.”

Sabine didn’t reply at first. She only said something when she finished cutting up the first batch of tomatoes, and started to pour them in.

“How was your first school day with Marinette, though?” she said. “Did you talk?”

“No,” said Kagami, shaking her head. She was still staring at the pot. It felt so much like… everything. Like she was a piece of fish floating around in it, and all around her there were other fishes, and lots of vegetables, and she was just being bounced around by the bubbling soup around her, without any control of what was going on. Touching the other fish only when the murky water deigned to let her get close enough.

“Did you see her, though? How was she doing?”

Kagami sighed. “She is stubborn.”

Sabine tittered out a little laugh in response. “That’s not an answer to my question, but I can’t deny it.”

“She is letting herself get bossed around by Chloé-san,” said Kagami, almost without trying to. The words just tumbled out. “Even though she doesn’t like it, she is forcing herself into it. That isn’t… right.”

“Ah, yes,” said Sabine. “I hardly see her during Chloé’s weeks. She always goes with Chloé after school and only returns home late in the evenings. And then she smiles and says everything is fine.”

The laughter was still there. But it had mutated now, become something more subdued.

“She isn’t fine, though, is she?”

“Honestly?” Sabine said that, and then paused, as though she wanted Kagami to answer — but just as that thought appeared to Kagami, Sabine continued: “I never know what that girl thinks. I know she’s struggling, but she almost never speaks clearly to me.”

Kagami hesitated, closing her mouth for a moment before saying, “Really?”

“She bottles up a lot of things. Hates bothering people, that girl.” Sabine started to scrape the rest of the tomatoes into the bouillabaisse. “Fortuity decided to make her belong to so many people, so she feels like a burden if she doesn’t subdue herself to them. I think it bothers her to not be twenty different people, because she just can’t do it all on her lonesome. And most of her friends are connected to her as soulmates, so she doesn’t feel right telling them about it, either.”

“So… why doesn’t she tell you? Or Tom-san?” said Kagami, still reeling from the apparent revelation that Marinette had decided to confide more in her than in anybody else.

“Oh, she has her reasons for that. Reasons I don’t blame her for.” Sabine sighed, put the cutting board down, reached for an onion. “I’ve long since resigned myself to that.”

“Is that…” Kagami paused again, trying to collect her thoughts. Sabine-san had seemed so enthusiastic about pushing her together with Marinette, even outside a romantic context. In every way, Sabine and Marinette had seemed so close, so trusting. And now Sabine was making it sound like there was a rift between them… that couldn’t be true.

But one thing was starting to make sense, at least.

“… That’s why you’ve been trying to make me and Marinette talk, isn’t it,” murmured Kagami. She looked into the pot again; the extra tomatoes now pushed some fish together, some fish apart, not quite locking them in place but at least keeping them in close proximity. “You want Marinette to have someone to confide in.”

Sabine stopped in the middle of cutting. “No… Kagami, that’s not it. I’d love for her to have people she feels close to, but I wouldn’t use you as a pawn for that.”

But the knife still didn’t slice through the onion.

“So… why did you push her to talk to me?”

“Because I felt that you both needed someone to talk to.” The words were spoken clearly and directly — but perhaps a little too much so. Like they were there to paper over something else, something twistier underneath. “I… saw you crying in her arms. And I already know Marinette feels lonely, despite all the people after her. I thought you might enjoy spending time together.”

That… just didn’t make sense. The way Sabine had sounded at first, it had been like she wanted to give Kagami a chance romantically, but that must only have been because Kagami had been crying over not having a chance. If she genuinely wanted to push them together for Marinette’s sake, then Marinette would have needed Kagami to not be interested. So the only thing that made sense was if Sabine had realised that Kagami had already given up.

But… that felt like a cruel thing to assume about Sabine-san. So Kagami didn’t say anything.

“Of course, you’re not obligated to spend any time with her if I was wrong,” said Sabine. The knife finally went down, clacking against the board. It might have felt like a threat in any other circumstance, but from the sound of Sabine’s voice it felt more like she was giving permission to cut ties with Marinette.

“N-no,” said Kagami. “I would like to spend time with her. If she has any.”

She could have asked to have time allotted. A part of her still wanted to ask for it. And yet, if she did, she probably wouldn’t have been able to see the part of Marinette that she actually cared for: the one who was bright and open and honest and had the spirit to make demands. Otherwise she would have seen the Marinette from the phone call, who was exhausted and only following orders. The same Marinette who sat with Chloé-san and followed those orders. She would have participated in pushing Marinette into a mould that twisted her into something she was not.

“That’s good,” said Sabine-san. “That’s good.”

“Yes,” said Kagami. Hopefully, it was.

The bouillabaisse, at least, was a good meal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The conversations with Sabine and Adrien-san were swirling in Kagami’s head the next day, from the time she left for school and all the way through the first few classes. She heard Sabine speak when she saw Marinette’s time and attention monopolised by Chloé-san; she heard Adrien speak when she sat with the others and talked about nothing and anything, but never about the injustice that was happening to Marinette.

It wasn’t an injustice that came from Chloé-san. She was just a symptom of it. Everyone seemed to not be paying attention, because a system had been put in place to ensure that everything was in order, so as long as the system was working as usual then everything would be okay. It was the absent-mindedness of filled-in paperwork, something that took all attention away from Marinette herself. A process was being observed, and the observance took precedence over questioning the legitimacy of the process.

But Kagami saw it, when Marinette’s eyes drifted towards the windows, or when Marinette’s lips parted to let out a wordless sigh. This was not the bright and open and honest Marinette; this was the Marinette who wished she were somewhere else. And Kagami found herself less and less willing to keep quiet as the day wore on.

It came to a head, within her mind, when the bell rang for lunch. At that point, Chloé-san got to her feet and called on Marinette’s spirit, clearly intent on leaving the room quickly. She stood with one hand holding the spirit’s and the other holding her own shoulder, and she tapped her feet with palpable impatience.

“I’m hungry, Marinette,” she exclaimed, as Marinette packed up her books and swept her pencils off the desk. “Hurry up.”

“C-can’t you go without me? I’ll catch up,” said Marinette, who seemed to have trouble fitting everything into her bag.

“I have two hands,” said Chloé-san, opening and closing the one not occupied with spirit Marinette’s hand, as though that was a response to Marinette’s question in any way. “Get to it!”

“Right, okay, I’m coming,” said Marinette, stuffing in the last of her things and zipping the bag up, before slipping out from the bench and going across to Chloé. The bag looked improperly packed, like the weight would push uncomfortably against Marinette’s back, but Chloé still took real Marinette’s hand and walked towards the door. Both Marinettes were tugged along behind her.

Kagami frowned, and pushed herself to the side so she could get to her feet. Adrien made a small, “Er,” but she ignored him: she could clearly recognise Marinette’s discomfort, so why wouldn’t he? Even though the discomfort seemed to be more about being hurried than about the misuse of her spirit, it should be obvious to anyone that this was not a proper state of affairs. She followed out the door with furrowed brows and rapid steps.

She caught up with the three-adjacent twosome at the top of a staircase going down, on the way to the lunchroom, and grabbed Marinette’s free arm. As Marinette yelped in surprise, Kagami said, “Chloé-san. Why are you being rude to Marinette?”

Chloé-san turned around with an unimpressed look on her face; the spirit Marinette in her left hand and the real in her right both scrambled to follow the motion, and Marinette’s arm was ripped out of Kagami’s grasp. “Rude?” was all Chloé said in response, sounding baffled more than challenging.

“You are not being considerate of your soulmate,” said Kagami, folding her arms.

Chloé-san rolled her eyes. “So? Why should I care how she feels?”

“… What?” said Kagami. She almost found herself sputtering — why care how your soulmate feels? That wasn’t even a question. She should care because caring was the most obvious thing in the world. A soulmate was a gift from the universe and you were supposed to cherish them, to put them first, to make them the most important part of your life. You were supposed to ease their loneliness, to help them with what they couldn’t do. Chloé-san should care about Marinette’s feelings because Marinette’s feelings mattered.

“Why should I care?” Chloé-san repeated. Her expression was one that cried out, ‘This is a stupid conversation’ — filled with utter arrogance. “She’s my soulmate. So she belongs to me, no matter how she feels about it.”

Kagami stared, dumbfounded. “You… you…”

That was when Marinette tried to speak up for the first time. “Please don’t fight,” she mumbled, so low that Kagami barely heard the words, her eyes fixed downwards. “It’s not important…”

And Chloé-san either didn’t notice, or she didn’t care. “What’s it to you, narrow-eyes? You said you’ve given up on dating her in the first place, right?”

“I have!” snapped Kagami. She both noticed and cared, but she ignored it. “But she is not some — possession!”

“Actually, she is,” said Chloé-san, lifting spirit Marinette’s hand. “I’m literally possessing her right now.”

“Kagami,” murmured Marinette. “Please don’t —”

But Kagami was too angry to stop at this point. “She’s a person! One who doesn’t like having her spirit pop up everywhere!” She grabbed Marinette by both shoulders and pulled her closer. “Stop treating her like dirt!”

“Oh, I see,” said Chloé-san. She didn’t sound upset at all. Rather, she sounded like she was taunting. “You want to take her for yourself after all. Just get in line like the rest of us.”

“I don’t want her!” snapped Kagami, pulling Marinette even closer, even further away from Chloé-san. “I don’t care who she ends up with. Just so long as it’s not you!”

“Oh, puh-lease. You want her just like everyone else, you just want to skip the line.” Chloé-san sounded just a little irritated now. “Give her back already! It’s my week, so go away!”

“Chloé, don’t,” said Marinette, a little louder than before. She raised her hands protectively. “Don’t fight. I’ll go with you.”

“No!” said Kagami. She was a ball of shards now, ready to blow up, and she couldn’t back down even if she wanted to. “You can’t let her walk all over you!”

Marinette squirmed slightly in Kagami’s grasp, like she wanted to signal a desire to get free without actually fighting for it. What a cowardly way to live. “She’s not… she just wants her share of me… please, don’t make a fuss…”

“See?” said Chloé-san. “Even she agrees. So let her go already, because I’m hungry.” She reached out and grabbed for Marinette, but Kagami pulled further away. “Come on!”

“I’m not letting her go until you promise to treat her bet—” started Kagami.

Then her leg landed on nothing.

She knew, even before her mind had mapped out the scenario she had gotten them into, that she had walked back too far. That they had gone over the first step of the staircase, and that they were both falling, and that they were about to tumble down metal-mesh steps with sharp edges.

She had her mind about her fast enough to know that she could summon Marinette’s spirit to stop them. With improved reflexes and strength, she could easily grab on to the railing and be safe, with maybe a couple scrapes on her but nothing serious. Or she could even place Marinette’s soul behind them to catch them. But if she did so, she would be no better than Chloé-san, using Marinette’s entire existence as a prop. She would be going against Marinette’s wishes, and Sabine-san’s request.

Still, that wasn’t the most powerful impulse telling her no. Slightly stronger, like a cry of anger, was the thought: ‘Marinette doesn’t deserve my help. She’s letting this happen to her, even refusing aid when I offer it. Let her fall.’

The last thing she saw, before she made her decision to let both of them fall, was Chloé-san’s indifferent expression as it watched them tumble out of sight.

And then… something happened. Kagami found herself thrown at the railing, suddenly further upright than she had been, as though something had pushed her upwards. Her grip on Marinette disappeared and became a grip just on Marinette’s backpack, which slammed against the handrail and tore at the handle, sending papers and pens and books flying over the side and into the courtyard. There was a flash of blue in the corner of Kagami’s eye.

And she heard the grunts and thumps as Marinette kept falling by herself.

Kagami threw herself around and saw Marinette lying in a pile at the first corner of the steps, unmoving, her forehead bruised and bleeding. She was on her side with her back against the railing but she was crumpled, back curved and arms and legs splayed, and her right arm was bent unnaturally on the lower half. Her eyes were closed, and there were several other bruises along her arms, though none as severe as the one on her forehead.

All the anger that had, however briefly, tumbled through Kagami’s mind towards Marinette, vanished in an instant. Instead, it was replaced with dread. She had injured Marinette through stubbornness, carelessness, inattentiveness; not just injured her, but hurt her severely.

She rushed down the steps towards Marinette, knelt down by her side, reached out a hand that she didn’t dare close the distance with. But before she could pull it back, Marinette stirred.

“… Oww,” she said. “Ow…”

“Marinette,” breathed Kagami.

“What… whappn…”

“You fell.” Kagami swallowed. “I… I made you fall.”

“Oh,” said Marinette. “Wha’hpn…”

Kagami tried to put her hand on Marinette’s shoulder. Marinette winced, groaned in pain; immediately, Kagami took her hand off. “You… you fell,” she tried again. “You fell down the stairs.”

“Ev’thn… hurts…”

“I’m so sorry. I — I’m sorry.” Kagami kept her voice barely to a whisper; she wasn’t even sure if Marinette heard her through the haze that was swimming in the girl’s eyes.

“What… happ’n…” — no, Kagami wasn’t even sure that Marinette was registering anything at all.

Kagami pushed to her feet. “Wait here,” she said. “I’ll get help.”

Marinette replied by vomiting. But so long as she was on her side, that was at least survivable. Kagami called out, “Help!”, towards the walkway at the top of the stairs; within seconds, Rose-san and Juleka-san, clearly on their way to the lunch room, appeared. And barely a moment after appearing, they gasped and covered their mouths.

“What happened?” said Rose-san, starting down the stairs; Juleka-san followed right after.

“She fell,” said Kagami. “I think she has a concussion and,” she glanced at the slightly bent arm again, “a broken arm. Maybe more.”

“We’ll go to the nurse’s office,” said Rose-san. “You stay and watch over her.”

Kagami nodded. The two of them ran the rest of the way down the stairs.

What followed felt like it should have been a blur, but it wasn’t. It took far too long to be a blur. Instead it smeared at the edges, the parts that didn’t contain Marinette. Kagami sat there with her, making sure the vomit didn’t lodge, making sure Marinette didn’t move, making sure nothing else happened. Other people soon came by too, some she did know and many she didn’t, many who asked what happened and some who didn’t. And in the middle of it all, Marinette lay there like a pitiful heap, but one that could fire tiny icicles directly through Kagami’s skin without even trying to.

This must have been what Adrien-san had talked about yesterday. That fighting over Marinette could only lead to catastrophe. Kagami, in her blindness, had ‘protected’ Marinette by — from the looks of it — hospitalising her. Letting her go with Chloé-san would have been infinitely preferable. Even though Chloé-san hadn’t even tried to look their way after they fell.

The nurse arrived. Not long after, blue lights flashed somewhere outside, and emergency personnel climbed the stairs with a stretcher. Everyone asked Kagami what had happened, and Kagami answered dutifully, though she mostly left out the part where it was her own fault. They also asked Marinette some questions that Marinette answered woozily and with only approximate coherence.

Kagami asked if she could be in the ambulance with Marinette. They allowed it.

The day still didn’t become a blur in the ambulance, or in the ER. Marinette got more lucid, but also complained more about pain and nausea. She got painkillers, her arm was set and bandaged and put in a cast. She had her wounds and scrapes washed with water and disinfectant, and she put on a brave smile for Kagami as the bloody bruise on her forehead was cleaned up and bandaged. A smile, like she didn’t care what had happened, like she was fine with breaking her arm and banging her head off the metal grating, like she was fine with everything being Kagami’s fault.

Kagami couldn’t even ask what was going on with Marinette. She tried to, several times, but words wouldn’t align themselves right in her head. And then, as she made her umpteenth mental attempt, a nurse came inside and said, “Mlle Dupain-Cheng? We’ve contacted your parents. Your mother will be here soon.”

Just like that, every fraction of Kagami’s courage was blown apart again. She could not face Sabine after what she had just done. Pushing to her feet, she said, “I have to go home. I — I have something I need to do.”

“Kagami?” said Marinette; her voice sounded like it was being pushed through a strainer.

“I’m sorry,” said Kagami. She turned towards the door. “Please be okay, Marinette.”

She didn’t hear if Marinette called after her. Probably, Marinette would have struggled to raise her voice above a whisper or a groan, and as Kagami stormed through the door with blood pumping loudly in her ears she might have struggled to hear even a normal speaking voice. She rushed through the halls and out into the waiting room, pushed through the main exit, thanked whatever powers were out there that Sabine did not show up at any point.

When she finally got on the metro line that seemed to go the closest to home, she looked at her phone and saw that the time was 14:01. She had sat with Marinette for over two hours, both at school and in the emergency room.

There might still be time left to go back to school for the last part of the schoolday. But Kagami didn’t have it in her to face — whatever it was that would be waiting there. Chloé-san’s scorn, Adrien-san’s disappointment, Bustier-sensei’s questions, anything: she would rather stab herself through the hand with her fencing sabre than speak to any of them right now.

As she looked at the screen, a message popped in from an unfamiliar number. She opened it and knew from the first line that the sender had to be Sabine-san.

07 42 29 XX XX --- 14:02
 Hello, Kagami. As you know, Marinette had an accident at school today. I will be taking the day off to make sure she’s okay. There should be leftovers from yesterday and Monday in the fridge. Stay safe - Sabine

It felt like the final nail. There was no way that Sabine-san wouldn’t hear what happened from Marinette and the doctors, particularly now that Marinette seemed clear-headed enough to speak for herself. It was natural that she would get upset and not want to come back to the house of the person who mutilated her daughter.

Kagami could feel the tears pushing on her eyes even while still on the metro. But she didn’t allow herself to cry until she was back at the house, until she was through the door, until she was all the way through to her bedroom and lying on her bed. Because no matter how lonely she was everywhere else, that was still the only space where she was safe from everybody. Mother wouldn’t hear her; Adrien-san wouldn’t see her, and the only traces of Marinette were tucked away in that horrible box at the foot of her bed. The one that reminded her that today wasn’t even some new development: it was an ongoing pattern.

She needed to admit it to herself, not just halfway but completely: she did want Marinette. Whether or not Marinette had been given to her by an unjust universe, whether or not she cared for Marinette in specific on a personal level, Marinette was still the form her longing had taken. She wanted her soulmate and unless something universe-bending were to happen, that meant she wanted Marinette.

And whether today had been all jealousy or not, jealousy had been part of it. Seeing Chloé with Marinette wrapped around her finger had been like seeing someone mishandling her fencing sabre, except worse. And she did care for Marinette, want for Marinette to not be exploited, want Marinette to choose for herself. But the possessive rage she felt today, that could only have come from jealousy.

Damn it. Damn everything.

Damn Chloé-san, for being so aggravating and selfish. Damn Adrien-san, for his unwillingness to act.

Damn Marinette, for never daring to stand up for herself. For not even raising her voice today, even when all her limits were being tested.

And damn herself. Damn herself to hell, for the recklessness and selfishness that sent Marinette down the stairs so badly that she broke her arm and vomited. Damn everything, but particularly herself. Because now, she had lost the respect of people at school, she had lost Sabine’s trust, and she had lost any chance she could ever have of spending more time with Marinette. She should have just signed up for the rotation like everybody else, rather than try and pretend like she didn’t care.

Damn. Damn damn damn.

She kicked the mattress hard. It complained against her chest and stomach, the vibrations feeling like a thousand punches in the gut. But she didn’t care, and kicked again.

Why hadn’t Marinette protested harder? Why hadn’t she tried to pull herself away? Why hadn’t she screamed that she was being assaulted and ended it all then and there? Why had she accepted having Kagami at her side on the stairs, in the ambulance, at the ER? Why, when she had clearly said to stop earlier? Why was Marinette so impossible?

And… why had she saved Kagami, but not herself? Because that blue glow, which could only have been there for a fraction of a second, must have been Marinette’s soulmate. Marinette had called them to her only for the purpose of pushing Kagami upwards so she wouldn’t fall down, and then… Marinette had kept falling. She hadn’t summoned the soul somewhere else, to a space where it could have caught both of them. She hadn’t even kept the connection going to improve her own reflexes, so she could grab on to something herself. She just… fell.

Was she really that afraid of anyone seeing her soulmate? Was it so important to her that nobody know who she was connected to, that she would rather severely injure herself than risk anyone figuring it out?

Well… that part, Kagami could understand. Because she had been willing to injure both of them rather than conjure Marinette’s spirit again. And that was low and selfish, compared to what Marinette had done. Marinette had been heroic; Kagami had allowed her mind to be clouded by childish envy and anger.

She kicked the bed again, even harder this time. Damn everything.

She didn’t leave her room until she was sure all the tears had stopped. When she warmed up the bouillabaisse again, there were fewer pieces of fish than the day before, so the welling broth constantly pushed them away from each other. And when she ate it, it tasted bitter.

And when she did the dishes, she decided she would call in sick for school the next day.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She would not run away from Sabine-san, however.

The next day, she woke early, as though she were going to school after all. She cleaned herself up and made her bed, and she cleaned the kitchen as well, and she vacuumed the stairs. The house needed to present as few obstacles as possible.

If Sabine-san showed up for work today, Kagami would meet her in the hallway and apologise. She would bow, and prostrate herself, and promise to do better. And then, she would offer Sabine-san the opportunity to resign if that was desirable.

She would hope that Sabine-san didn’t take the offer. But she assumed that hope was threadbare and fleeting, because Sabine-san was a good mother. One who actually cared about her daughter.

When the door opened at a minute and a half past three, Kagami got to her feet and walked closer, folding her hands in front. She bowed in preparation, expecting a tirade and a lashing-out.

What she didn’t expect was to suddenly hear Marinette’s voice exclaim, “Oh! K-Kagami!”

Kagami stood up straight out of pure surprise, staring at what was in front of her: Marinette, still with bandages on her face and neck and arm, still black and blue wherever her skin was visible, and with her arm both in a cast and in a sling. And she was smiling, for some godforsaken reason.

And behind her was Sabine-san, taking off her coat, also somehow smiling.

“Didn’t expect to see you right inside the door,” Marinette went on. “How, er, how are you?”

‘How are you’? Like the pertinent question wasn’t about how she was doing? “I — I’m fine,” Kagami stammered. And the question with Marinette wasn’t just how she was doing, but also what on Earth she was doing here, with her mum, again. This wasn’t normal.

“That’s good,” said Marinette. “I —”

“I’m going to take your coat off now, dear,” said Sabine-san, already grabbing the coat as she spoke; it was not buttoned up, so it slid off easily. “And don’t go any further inside until I’ve changed your shoes, okay?”

Marinette squeaked briefly at the touch, either from pain or surprise, but she quickly relaxed again and turned halfway around. “I won’t,” she half-groaned.

“You forgot at home,” said Sabine-san.

“Because my arm is broken!”

“Exactly,” said Sabine-san, as she bent down to change her own shoes. “It didn't unbreak on the walk over, did it? So don’t put dirty footprints all over Kagami’s nice house like you did with our living room.

Kagami nodded hesitantly. “H-hello,” she said, and then she remembered to bow again. “Hello.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come in yesterday. But you know how it is when your daughter falls down the stairs, you have to prioritise… Marinette, dear, come over here.”

“Coming,” said Marinette.

“But…” said Kagami. She wasn’t sure where to continue after, though. There were too many things to say ‘but’ about.

“What’s wrong?” said Marinette, turning her head as Sabine attended to her footwear.

Kagami wanted to ask that question in return. Or rather, she wanted to ask its inverse: why are you behaving like things are fine?

But she didn’t feel right phrasing it like that. So instead she asked the far less contentious, “Why are you here?”

Marinette blinked. “Um… well, I wanted to talk to you?”

“But… why? I threw you down the stairs!”

“No you didn’t!” said Marinette. The speed with which she changed her expression into indignance was almost impressive. “We almost fell down together! You were just trying to defend me.”

Kagami couldn’t help the frown that curled her lips at that. “But you said you didn’t want me to.”

“Well, I just… didn’t want anything bad to happen,” said Marinette, like that wasn’t exactly what ended up happening.

“You still fell down the stairs because of —”

“Girls,” said Sabine, getting to her feet again. Her voice wasn’t loud, but it cut through Kagami’s sentence like butter. “I can tell you both have a lot of opinions to work out. So I suggest you find a place to do that, while I go and make dinner. Okay?”

Which reminded Kagami of why she had come to the hallway in the first place. “Ah — Sabine-san,” she said and bowed. “I apologise deeply for what happened to your daughter. It wasn’t on purpose, and —”

“Oh, leave off,” said Sabine, half-chuckling, again putting Kagami to silence just by speaking normally. “Talk it out with Marinette. She’s the one who broke her arm, after all. Don’t worry about little old me.”

Kagami closed her mouth.

“And stop calling me -san. I’m just Sabine.” Sabine threw her head aside as she walked past towards the stairs. “Have a good talk, dearies, and I’ll see you again when dinner’s ready. Okay?”

“Sure, Mum,” said Marinette and smiled. “Good luck!”

Good luck. What a bizarre thing to say.

Then again, it wasn’t particularly bizarre compared to… anything else going on right now. Marinette being here, the day after a severe injury that left her slurring and foggy-eyed. Marinette being here at all. Sabine behaving like none of that mattered. Perhaps good luck for making dinner made perfect sense in that context, because it at least made sense in theory that an accident could happen in the kitchen.

Once Sabine was halfway up, Marinette reached out her non-injured arm — her less-injured arm, Kagami noted with some dismay, as the skin was still scraped and there was a bandage poking out from under Marinette’s sleeve — and grabbed Kagami by the hand. “Come,” she said. “To the living room?”

Kagami was almost about to say, ‘Which one?’, purely out of confusion. But then she realised that Marinette had only seen the one, when they tried to unpack the luggage from it, so she nodded and then was immediately pulled towards said room by Marinette’s surprisingly strong grip. She stayed quiet, because she was just a tad too flabbergasted, because she was… experiencing something very different from her worst fears.

Hopefully.

Hopefully, Marinette wasn’t taking her into the living room to shout at her. But if Kagami knew anything about Marinette at this point, it was that Marinette had a very specific way of being honest. She would pretend to feel anything other than her real feelings a lot of the time, but her mask was never perfect. Perhaps she didn’t even want the mask to be perfect, so that people could see through it.

But the Marinette that pulled Kagami by the hand had no mask at all. When she took charge, when she did something entirely of her own accord, there was nothing she needed to hide.

Well, that was partly true. Because when they had just passed into the living room, she let go of Kagami’s hand and pulled the door shut, so clearly she wanted to hide something-or-other.

“Is there a problem?” said Kagami, feeling slightly stupid for asking.

Marinette breathed out slowly, then breathed in with a quick gasp as she looked back at Kagami. “Nope,” she said. “I just don’t want anyone to see.”

“See what?” said Kagami, glancing around the empty space.

“Just… see, in general,” said Marinette, a little too obvious. “Hey… Kagami?”

“Yes?” said Kagami. She looked into Marinette’s eyes and got a strange sense of foreboding.

But Marinette just smiled. “I wanted to say thanks for yesterday,” she said.

Kagami felt her eyes bulge. “You… want to thank me?”

“Y-yes,” said Marinette, leaning back ever so slightly. “What?”

“But — but I threw you down the stairs?”

“You didn’t!” Once again, Marinette got a serious edge over her whole being, from her eyes to her voice to just the way she stood upright in the room. “It was an accident!”

“But I still made you fall! You broke your arm because of me!”

Marinette sighed. “Yeah, and I still have a pretty bad headache. And a bit of fog. But that’s… that’s okay. I’m up and walking, okay? So there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to… Marinette,” said Kagami, pinching the bridge of her nose between both index fingers just to stop herself from swinging her arms around in exasperation. “I caused you multiple severe injuries. Why would you want to thank me for that?”

“Because… because you did something nice?” said Marinette. She seemed surprised more than anything, like she found it bizarre that Kagami wasn’t on the same page as her. “You tried to defend me?”

“And it ended with you falling down the stairs!”

And it hadn’t even been an altruistic gesture. She had done it because she wanted Marinette for herself. Not even that: she had done it because she wanted someone, and Marinette was the only someone that she had been introduced to. She couldn’t even claim that she had done it because she was after Marinette specifically, or because of who Marinette was as a person.

“Well, maybe,” said Marinette, like none of that mattered. “But you still stood up for me. And I appreciate that, okay?”

Kagami folded her arms. “If that’s the case, why did you protest when I did it?”

“Because… ugh.” Marinette squirmed slightly. “Because, I don’t know. I don’t like it when people make a fuss, I guess. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it, y’know?”

“I’m sure I don’t know,” said Kagami, still worked up. However, she wasn’t quite so worked up that she would bring up her own twisted motivations, because she didn’t want to ruin Marinette’s trust in her right now.

“Well, I did, so there,” said Marinette, a little bit of edge still in her voice. But it faded when she went on, her mouth turning into a little smile just before, “I also noticed that you didn’t call my spirit. And that was also pretty nice of you.”

Kagami felt her own eyes go wide. “You… noticed?”

“Yeah! When we fell I felt you do the arm thing, like you were about to summon me. But then you stopped. That was pretty nice of you.”

“But…” said Kagami, pretty certain she would have been dumbstruck if she didn’t have so many things to protest. “You’d rather fall and break your arm than get someone’s help?”

Marinette nodded. But then, she shook her head, and her expression morphed back and forth a few times, like she didn’t know which head motion she actually agreed with.

“I… um, I guess I’d rather not break my arm. It kinda hurts a lot. But I’ve got painkillers, and it doesn’t matter! Because the part I liked is that you listened to me, okay? Because you almost did it but then you changed your mind.”

“You could tell?” said Kagami. She hadn’t even noticed that she made that motion, or if she did, she forgot it in the intervening time. But Marinette had somehow caught on.

“Yeah,” said Marinette. Her smile faded ever so slightly. “And, er. If you ever need to summon me, then you shouldn’t feel bad about it. But since you didn’t, and nothing bad happened, I’m happy that you didn’t.”

Kagami still wanted to question Marinette’s definition of ‘nothing bad happened’. But there was clearly no use in doing so, so she gave up.

“Why are you here?” Kagami said, echoing her own question from earlier. She didn’t feel it had been adequately explained. “And don’t say you wanted to talk to me. Tell me what you want to talk to me about. It can’t just be pleasantries.”

“… Can’t it?” said Marinette.

“No!” Kagami caught herself. “Or yes. I suppose. You have many strange qualities.”

Marinette let out an awkward giggle. “That’s fair…”

“But I still feel like you must have something else on your mind.”

“Mum doesn’t mind, by the way.”

Kagami felt like she’d just stubbed her toe. Not a bad shock, not a big problem, but she still stopped completely from it. “… What?”

“That I fell down the stairs. I mean she knows everything that happened, but she doesn’t blame you. So, um, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“I… wasn’t thinking about that,” lied Kagami. Perhaps Marinette noticed, because there was a strange flicker in her eyes, but if she did she didn’t say anything about it. “But I’m glad to hear it.”

Actually, she wasn’t. Because it felt like a lie. Sabine had been a little too sharp earlier; there was no way she wasn’t upset.

“And I also wanted to say I don’t mind. And, um, to ask you for a favour.”

Kagami frowned. There was no universe in which she could have possibly believed that Marinette — a person who would come to her house and say thanks for being pushed down the stairs, for having her arm broken and being put on painkillers — would ‘mind’. That possibility had already been contradicted so heavily that Marinette’s assertion only annoyed Kagami.

But she didn’t say anything about it. She knew when it was proper to snap at someone, and the day after you broke their arm was not that. Instead, she tried to think about something else — Marinette’s soulmate. Not because she preferred to, but because it bubbled up as she pushed her irritation aside.

Because if Marinette had never summoned her soulmate’s spirit in public before, if she had refused to do it for as long as all her friends knew her, if the only time said spirit had been summoned — at least to Kagami’s knowledge — was for a fraction of a second just so Kagami wouldn’t fall down the stairs… who was it? Why the secrecy?

That blue glow that showed up in the corner of Kagami’s eye just for a moment… it hadn’t seemed like someone unusual. It must have been someone their age and height; the hands had felt small on her back, and they didn’t come from an unusual height. Of course there could be details she missed, she only had a brief time to notice anything, but…

The year that the three of them would turn nine, she heard rumours from Aoi-san and Midori-san that one of their upperclassmen had gotten an adult soulmate — a man twice, maybe thrice, her age, from the way people talked about it. But they were only whispers, and Kagami had never seen this spirit manifested anywhere… though now that the memory was reappearing in her mind, she remembered that the girl had been bullied for it. People mocking her and calling her nasty words, and not just the other students. Aoi-san and Midori-san hadn’t called her any names, but they spoke of her with obvious suspicion.

Kagami had tried not to speak of her. Or even think of her. She never saw this spirit summoned, and she assumed that was because the girl was bullied into hiding him. Obviously there was something that kept Marinette from advertising who the universe had assigned to her, too. Was it because she didn’t want to disappoint people? Was the soulmate some kind of weird non-human? Had she been bullied by someone who wasn’t even at this school?

Or… was the soulmate one of the people who had her, but she didn’t really want them? Like Chloé-san, and that was why the soulmate only appeared once they were out of Chloé-san’s sight? Or maybe it was Adrien, and that was why Adrien seemed to know so much, but the two of them had discussed it and were only keeping up this charade to avoid causing a fuss?

Or maybe the soulmate was Kagami?

“You used your soulmate’s spirit to rescue me, though,” said Kagami. “Why?”

“… Because I didn’t want you to fall?” said Marinette, apparently confused.

“No — I mean, why did you only rescue me?” Marinette’s eyes fell, but Kagami pushed on. “I know you don’t like to show your soulmate to others. The people in class told me. I know that part, and you don’t have to show me. But… why are you so afraid of your soulmate that you’d rather get a concussion than let anyone see them? And why did you still risk it to save me?”

Marinette still looked down, and it was obvious that she didn’t know how to respond. Eventually, she murmured, partially choked by the angle of her neck: “It’s… complicated.”

That was hardly new information. Most things regarding Marinette seemed incredibly complicated.

“But I saved you because I didn’t want you to fall,” she finished.

“Yes. You already said —” started Kagami. Then she realised how rude she was being, and bowed. “I’m sorry. Thank you. It was very courageous of you to rescue me and I am in your debt. And I apologise for what happ—”

“No, please don’t…” said Marinette, almost quiet. “You’re fine… don’t thank me, it was the least I could do…”

Kagami stood up straight again, about to say something about how it would be rude not to give thanks, but before she could open her mouth Marinette said something else.

“Actually… about my soulmate… I need to tell you something.”

“You — you do?” said Kagami. She felt like two hands had gripped around each of her lungs, squeezing them for air.

“Yeah,” said Marinette, only glancing to meet Kagami’s eyes for a second. “Can we… can we sit down?”

Kagami nodded, indicated the sofa with a flat palm. They walked together, though Kagami made sure to give Marinette ample space, to ask if she needed help sitting down; once they were seated in adjacent and perpendicular couches, Kagami nodded again to make clear that Marinette could start to speak.

Marinette seemed incredibly hesitant to actually say anything, though. She pushed the root of her not-broken hand against her knee, squirmed in her seat, let her eyes flit everywhere.

“… So,” she said eventually. “The favour I mentioned. It’s, it’s related to my soulmate. She —”

“What is the favour?” asked Kagami, because she was wary about accepting prematurely. Even so, the idea that she would be inducted into the secret… if she was about to learn that the soulmate was her… she wasn’t just okay with doing the favour. She was begging to be allowed to.

“Right. Well… I’m going to show you something I’ve never shown to anyone else. And, and, I wouldn’t show it if not because of the favour and it’s… um. Is that okay with you?”

“I don’t know yet,” replied Kagami, honestly enough. Was it her? Could it be…

Marinette, somehow, snorted. But she didn’t look up. “Okay, I guess that’s fair enough… so… um. I’m going to show you my soulmate, and… and please don’t laugh. Okay?”

“Why would I laugh?” An old man after all? Or something inhuman altogether?

“Because… ugh,” said Marinette, and closed her eyes. “Just don’t laugh, okay?”

And she did the hand gesture and she kept her eyes shut and her mouth pursed, like she was scared of being hit in the face, and next to her on the sofa appeared a blue, translucent, glowing, dark-spotted, domino-masked…

“… Is that Ladybug? The superhero?” said Kagami, unable to help her own disappointment.

“Y-yes,” said Marinette, still with her eyes closed. “It… it’s her.”

“Why would I laugh about that?” said Kagami. Then she looked closer at the figure and saw the cloth tied over her shoulder and around her right arm. “Is she wearing a sling?”

“Yes,” said Marinette. “Because… Tikki… spots on.”

Marinette flashed with bright white for a moment. But when the flash faded, she was also Ladybug. Red suit, with round black spots, a domino mask, red ribbons tying up her pigtails. Also wearing a sling. Side by side, Marinette looked exactly the same as her soulmate, except that Marinette didn’t have her colours faded and the spirit did not have its face scrunched up and averted.

“You’re not… laughing, right?” said Marinette — Ladybug.

“No!” said Kagami, perhaps a little too forcefully, because Marinette winced. “Er. I’m not laughing. This just like what Alix-san has, isn’t it?”

“… No,” said Marinette. She spoke the word quickly, but the palpable runup dragged on. “She just has herself. I have myself in a silly costume. And she’s always in costume.”

“A silly costume?” said Kagami. “It’s — it’s a heroic costume! You are a superhero protecting the city of Paris! Why would you be scared of showing this to anyone?”

Marinette sighed and opened her eyes. “Because it would raise a lot of questions?” she said; it was a little bit like a statement but slightly more like a probe, like she didn’t trust her own assessment. “If I showed people, I’d have to… I mean. My identity’s supposed to be a secret. Yeah?”

“Oh.”

“And besides… Ladybug didn’t exist when I was nine,” Marinette went on, twirling a finger around her temple. “I got a nine-year-old me in a latex costume, and everyone would have been super weird about that. So… I kept it a secret even before I knew it had to be, because I was scared people would think I’m crazy or, or whatever. And then I got Tikki… Tikki, spots off,” the light flashed over her again, and suddenly she was just normal Marinette in a cast and sling again. A pinkish-red glow spun around her head for a moment, before settling in the left earring. “And it turned out I was right to keep the secret, because otherwise everyone would’ve known.”

Kagami stared. “You… you mean I’m the first person you’ve ever told any of this?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Only one person knows I’m Ladybug, and nobody knows who my soulmate is. Except Tikki.”

Tikki. A question to ask, but a question that would have to be delayed. “But… why?”

“Because I’ve never needed a favour like this before,” said Marinette. She didn’t sound serious but there was seriousness to her posture, her face. “And I figure you’d be a good person to ask. You’re honest and you’re not scared to stand up for what you believe in, so… what do you think?”

“Of what?” said Kagami, simultaneously bemused by and squirming on the inside from everything Marinette had said. Honest? Not scared? Marinette must have been looking at someone else.

A light flickered on in Marinette’s eyes. “Oh, right… I didn’t tell you yet… sorry, the headache’s making it a bit hard to focus. Which is bad when you’re a superhero whose power relies on focusing a lot…” She put a thumb and middle finger to her temples. “Yeah. So, um. Sorry. I wanted to ask if you… wanted to take over as Ladybug for a little while? While I recover from this whole, er, thing?”

“You want — me to be a superhero?” said Kagami, barely able to keep her voice from cracking. “I’m just a normal person! I can’t — I caused your injury! Why are you asking me?”

“Because —”

“I almost destroyed your birthday cake!” Her voice did crack there, just before ‘cake’. “The reason you fell over that day is because I was careless and dropped my birthday gift for you! If I didn’t try to help, your grandmother wouldn’t have been akumatised! I was akumatised, the first time you saw me! All I’ve done is cause you trouble, and you’re asking me to take over for you?”

It was only when she saw Marinette’s shocked expression that she realised what she’d said. Things that she had meant to keep secret, and things that she had almost forgotten about in the whirlwind of everything. And she wished she could take those things back, but they were out there now and it was pointless to wish it otherwise. She would have to deal with the consequences of everything sooner or later and when Marinette was forcing her hand like this, the only way to go was… down. Down, down, down, as far as it was possible to go.

Frustratingly, though, Marinette’s first question showed no awareness of any of that. “You… had a birthday gift for me? But we hadn’t even met…”

“Yes we had!” protested Kagami, throwing her hands up in the air. “You hooked me into the scoring machine! You spoke to me as Ladybug! I mean, I didn’t know that, but that’s beside the point!”

“Did I… step on the gift?”

“Yes.” Kagami groaned, turned her voice softer. “But it was my fault. I was careless, and you were caught up in it.”

“What was it?”

Down. It was time to go down. “It was a drawing of you. And before you ask, I used your soul as a model. I posed her in my room back in Tokyo. I… did that a lot, before I got to Paris. I called you out to draw you, and I have been dishonest with you about how I’ve treated your spirit.”

“… What?” said Marinette, justifiably.

“You think I’m honest and unafraid. Well, I’ve been too scared to tell you the truth, and I’ve lied to you many times.” Kagami breathed in deep, and looked straight ahead, not at Marinette. “I lied when I told you all I did with your soul was to walk you around the house. I have notebooks filled with sketches and paintings of you, which I called on your soul to draw. I lied when I pretended I never did anything creepy with your soul, because I have hugged you and gone to sleep next to you, and stared at you longingly. My past is filled with sins against you.”

Finally, she closed her eyes and bowed her head. “I’m not who you think I am. And you shouldn’t trust me.”

There was a pause. Then Marinette’s voice said, with a frustrating lack of judgement, “So you’re trying to tell me I can’t trust you… by being honest?”

Kagami furrowed her eyebrows but did not open her eyes. “Is that seriously your reaction? Shouldn’t you be trying to apologise and reassure me I could still have a place in your rotation schedule? Shouldn’t you be running away?”

“Kagami…”

“You shouldn’t trust me! You should leave me alone.”

“I can’t do that! You’re my classmate and I’m your soulm—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t remind me.”

Marinette was quiet for a moment, but the kind of quiet that’s mostly just charging up air to speak again. And then she said, slowly, “I’m sorry. But I really think you could be a good Ladybug.”

“Then you are stupid.” Kagami opened her eyes again, but didn’t turn her head towards Marinette. “Please find another replacement. And… please go home. You’re injured and you have a headache. You shouldn’t be here.”

“Yeah… okay,” said Marinette. “I don’t think Mum will be happy if I leave on my own, though… but I’ll get out of your hair until she’s ready to go.”

She got up from the couch. Just like that, without complaint, bar a groan and a huff as she presumably activated some of her injuries along the way. Kagami didn’t look at her, didn’t say another word, let Marinette open the door on her own. She remained seated, her neck fixed in place, her arms tangled into an approximation of a fold, and her thoughts swirling like a thousand ghosts.

Why did Marinette insist on trusting her so much? It made no sense. Why did Marinette want to see her all the time? Why did Marinette offer her the role of a superhero, when she’d just proven through her selfishness and anger and violence that she would be a terrible choice?

Not just for being a superhero — but even for being Marinette’s friend…

She didn’t even want to leave this room until Sabine-san’s workday was over. Seeing her face now would almost be as terrible as seeing Marinette’s. So she kept sitting there, waiting for the sun to go down far enough that she was sure the house would be empty.

She didn’t have a chance to, however. After she had sat there for an agonising length of time, enough that she had needed to lie down on her side from the stinging in her butt, the doorbell rang.

And if she went to answer, she would put herself at risk of seeing both of the people she didn’t want to see.

She knew all that. So she kept lying there, hoping the caller would go away.

But a minute later, she heard the terrible sound of someone knocking on the door. The door to the living room. The door that only Marinette would know she was waiting behind.

“Y-yes?” she said, and held her breath.

And of all people, the person who answered her call was…

“Kagami? It’s me, Adrien. Can we talk for a bit?”

“… Yes,” she called out, and sat back up. “Come in. Please.”

Adrien-san… so the schoolday was over. It must be at least fifteen, twenty minutes past four. Was he here to ask why she wasn’t at school?

The door clicked open. Adrien-san stepped through. Marinette’s voice, invisible and from the outside, said, “I’ll leave you two alone, then —”

“No,” said Adrien-san. He turned to look outside again. “Marinette, you should also be here. It’s important, okay?”

“But I promised — ugh, okay,” said Marinette, and stepped through. Her eyes found Kagami instantly and seemed to flicker like a lighthouse with the message, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry…’

Kagami didn’t want to dignify it with a response. So she turned to Adrien-san instead and said, “Come. Sit down,” while pointing to the sofa Marinette had occupied. Naturally, he gently touched Marinette’s back to guide her forward, and they both went over to sit there. Him closest to Kagami, Marinette half a cushion away from him.

He didn’t exactly meet Kagami’s eyes. And he was frowning, ever so slightly, and that expression only intensified as he breathed in.

“Is something the matter?” she asked him.

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “But, um, not for me.”

“Then… what?” said Marinette, leaning slightly forward.

“Well… it’s about yesterday. It’s… actually, Marinette,” he turned fully toward her, “I was really surprised when your dad told me you’d come here today. Are you sure you shouldn’t be home resting?”

She shook her head. “I already told you I’m fine, didn’t I? And I needed to… sorry, Kagami. I didn’t mean to come back in. But I needed to talk to her, so I came in with Mum.”

“Even with a concussion?”

“I’m fine. I have painkillers. I had something important to talk to her about, and we talked about it, and she said no and that’s that.”

“Talked to her… about what?”

“Private things,” said Kagami, as firmly as she was able. “It doesn’t concern anyone else, and it was… resolved.” Marinette passed her a grateful smile with a glance. Kagami nodded back to her, because even though Marinette’s suggestion had been ludicrous and bad, that wasn’t a reason to be impolite.

Adrien-san nodded himself, a handful of headwags in quick succession. “Okay… well, I’m glad you’ve talked, at least.”

“Why are you here, Adrien-san?” she said. “I mean… Adrien?”

His eyes, which started out wide in horror when she first asked the question, mellowed as she addressed him without the honorific. He swallowed. “Yeah… so. It’s kind of difficult to say, but… what happened yesterday. With the stairs. We had a class discussion today… and I want you to know I don’t agree with this.” Hands folded, eyes on the table, he carried on: “Chloé called us together. To discuss. And it was decided… Kagami, you’re not allowed to be near Marinette during school time.”

Kagami frowned. “What?”

“You’re not allowed to be near Marinette —”

“Yes. I heard that. But what right do you have to tell me I can’t talk to her?”

“It’s not my right!” he protested. “And I don’t like it, either! But all of us… the soulmate council, or whatever we are… made the decision. Remember the thing we talked about on Tuesday? What would happen if someone hurt Marinette? Well… yeah. You hurt her, so it was decided… you’re not allowed to go near her in case you hurt her again. Or hurt someone else.”

Kagami felt her mouth fall open. Everyone had come together, in the space of a single day, to discuss what she did, and yet not a single one of them had discussed any events before this. Judging by Marinette’s wide-open eyes, they hadn’t even discussed this with her. Bureaucracy, stamped papers, and not a single eye to the people caught up in it.

Did they even have an eye to themselves? Could Adrien-san see that by tying himself up in this, he was limiting his own life, binding it to something that could never be? Did Alya-san notice, when she decided to commit herself to someone who didn’t possess her soul, that she was untethered from the connection she craved? Nobody had any idea what they were looking for.

And Kagami was the same. She was hunting the ghost of a dream she had had since she was nine. A literal ghost, though a tangible one, which she had sat in a chair and ogled like a creep for cumulative days on end. And she had hoped that said ghost would also be connected to her ghost, but it seemed like her ghost was nobody’s. It was all dead, all lost, all without warmth or colour or words to speak. Marinette, the soul, was quiet. And Marinette herself, to the council, was also quiet.

The council hadn’t even come to a bad conclusion. They had said the same thing Kagami decided, for herself, to do. She couldn’t contradict them because to do so would be to pretend she hadn’t thrown Marinette down the stairs, to pretend like her presence in Marinette’s life wasn’t a negative.

The problem was just… nobody had asked Marinette.

“Did… everyone say that?” said Marinette the person, almost as quiet as the soul. She glanced slowly, repeatedly, between Adrien-san and Kagami.

“No. No, it was… almost 50/50. Er… Chloé brought it up, so she voted for, um, banning Kagami. Ivan, Nathan, Kim… Lila, also Théo and Socqueline came in for the meeting. They said yeah. And I said no, and so did Alya and Juleka, Max, um, Nino, and Aurore.”

“Why did Ivan and Nathan get to vote?” frowned Marinette. “They’re not even in the rotation. And Théo is just jealous because I went with Kagami for a bit at the birthday party. And Chloé?”

“I’m sorry!” said Adrien, halfway throwing his arms up. “I don’t make the rules. I tried to say it was stupid, but they wouldn’t listen. And nobody else saw what happened so Chloé was the only one who could say anything about it and she obviously wasn’t to give Kagami a fair chance, and I tried to point that out, but that’s just how it works. I’m sorry.”

“But what about my own free time?” said Marinette, heated. “I’m off school until Wednesday next week! And I can’t do any activities, either! Can’t I hang out with her if I want? And, er,” she shot a quick peek at Kagami, “if she wants?”

“I don’t know… we only talked about it for school situations?”

“But that’s nonsense! I’m supposed to just listen to what everyone else tells me to do?”

“No! No, you’re supposed to do what you want to do. I’m sorry… I disagree with the decision too, honest. I think you should just…” He sighed and turned to Kagami. “I think the two of you should hang out as much as you want. But at school, someone might raise a stink, so…”

“Ugh,” said Marinette, throwing her back against the sofa.

That action ended with her groaning in pain, probably due to some scrape on her back. Adrien turned to her, put his hand on her thigh and asked her what was wrong. And she said… she was fine.

Kagami disagreed. Nothing seemed fine at the moment. Adrien was here, and he was touching and comforting her Marinette, and her Marinette was upset and in pain, and her Marinette wasn’t actually hers because she renounced that claim out of her own stupidity and stubbornness, and Kagami had no right to make any demands because out of anyone involved, she was the greatest injurer. She didn’t just send Marinette to the fall that broke her arm, but she mistreated Marinette’s soul for years and then had the gall to lie to Marinette about it. To pretend it didn’t happen.

But Kagami wasn’t just upset with herself. She was also upset with Adrien. He didn’t deserve it, because he wasn’t any of the people who led to this outcome, he was not Chloé or Kagami — but he still allowed the system to continue. He voted, and thus legitimised it. He held back and didn’t provide the defence that he knew Marinette deserved.

And she was upset with Marinette, for allowing this charade to continue around her. For not screaming every day and every hour that Things Should Not Be Like This, for not demanding freedom. For not condemning Kagami for her sins, for trying to lead her on with ideas that their relationship wasn’t irreparably broken.

No… no, even that was unfair. Marinette had proven by now that she never ran. The time she ran from her own birthday party to avoid the akuma, it was because she needed to transform so she could fight. Marinette never ran: she stayed and fought, even when the battle was lost. She stood on the frontlines and faced down everyone who had her as a soulmate, giving herself up to them piece by piece. She was brave and forthcoming, she did housework by choice, she was beautiful. She was so much more than the pale spirit that had adorned Kagami’s old bedroom so many times. And she deserved so much more than anyone seemed willing to offer her.

How many times had Kagami had this revelation now? That she loved Marinette? It wasn’t about their soulmate connection. It was about how Marinette, despite her own troubles, had taken the time to visit Kagami multiple times. To talk to her and ask about her. It was about Marinette’s big heart and unwavering devotion, her willingness to literally split off parts of herself to please others. It was about how she was an actual superhero, one that showed kindness to Kagami on the first day they met, even though she had every reason not to. No drawing in the world, no painting no matter how well-made, could ever capture that part of Marinette.

And Kagami would still have to give her up, because she was unworthy. She had broken promises and bones. She didn’t deserve to have anyone close to her, least of all the one that the Universe in all its stupidity had decided to offer her.

She got to her feet. Both of the others looked at her, but quietly.

“You should both leave,” she said, surprised at her own calm. She would have expected to tremble like an aspen leaf, but instead her voice just came out like that of someone who didn’t care. Yet more proof of how wrong she was for Marinette. “I want you both to leave this house.”

“… Why?” said Marinette, naïve fool, couldn’t she tell?

“Because this is my house. I’m the abider. I decide who is and isn’t allowed inside.”

“But I can’t go home without Mum!”

“Adrien. You will take her home. You care for her, unlike me. Take her out of my sight.”

Adrien-san’s eyes were wide. Marinette’s… were indecipherable. But her lower lip quivered.

It didn’t matter. As long as they were gone, Kagami could go back to the life she always deserved: a servant to a house that Mother barely knew existed. An abider who lived there not out of choice, but because she had no other option.

She glared at them. “Get out!”

Then… her vision clouded dark and purple.

“Abider. I am Hawk Moth,” said the demanding voice. “The universe didn’t give you what you wanted, am I right?”

“No,” she replied. She was vaguely aware that the silhouettes that were Marinette and Adrien were scrambling to leave the room. “The universe didn’t give me what I need.”

“The universe has dealt many of us a bad hand. I understand all too well the pain of losing the one who should rightfully be yours,” the voice continued. The wrongness of that statement was obvious, but Kagami didn’t care. It felt better to be allowed to think that she deserved this.

“I think we can help each other. If you promise to give me Ladybug and Cat Noir’s Miraculous, I will give you a power that lets you abide anything.”

“I would rather abide as little as possible.”

“Of course. Of course… and the faster you defeat Ladybug and Cat Noir, the less abiding you will have to do…”

It felt like he was mocking her. But even so, she knew what she had to say.

“I accept, Hawk Moth,” she said, and felt herself grow taller, thicker, harder. She couldn’t see herself, not fully, but her head and even the tip of her shoulders were taller than the doorway, and her arms and legs turned a reflective obsidian black — flat, angled surfaces with sharp edges where they joined together.

The power Hawk Moth had given her lay sleeping in her chest. She didn’t understand what it was yet, but she could tell it was there. Her vision cleared, up to a point: the edges of her vision were flashing red, fading into the rest of her sightline, but everything else was as clear as she was used to.

She lumbered — lumbered, like a monster, because her limbs were jointed in a way that made them difficult to move — towards the doorway. Instinctively, she knew she didn’t need to duck; she could just walk through the wood and plaster. So she did.

The dust and rubble cleared and she was in the hallway. And in the hallway waited Cat Noir. A hero she had only seen in pictures, but who must have fought her when she got akumatised last week; he knew her better than she knew him.

“Kagami!” he shouted, holding his stick at the ready. “Don’t listen to the voice!”

“I am the Abider,” she replied. “But I don’t abide with being told what to do.”

“Big talk from someone who’s being told what to do by Hawk Moth,” he said. He twisted his hand, and his stick extended rapidly towards her.

But there was a bright clang, and she didn’t even feel the stick touching her. She only saw that it was currently at an angle that suggested it must have struck her somewhere around the middle of her torso, and she saw his shocked face as he realised his attack didn’t do anything.

There was a whirr. She caught sight of something small and red and black, and then she felt herself fall. She didn’t feel herself make contact with the ground, but she knew she was lying on her back.

She was the Abider. Of course she would abide anything. Of course that was the power he gave her.

“That’s enough of that,” said a voice from the top of the stairs. It wasn’t Ladybug’s. “I think it’s time we stop this.”

Kagami turned her head around, towards the voice. She saw a woman — not Marinette, not even a girl, but an adult woman — wearing a red costume with black spots, and a domino mask just like Ladybug’s. But the costume was a two-piece suit, perfectly red pressed trousers underneath a long-armed spotted jacket with flowing sleeves, and black gloves covering the hands underneath. Her black hair was tied up in a bun that was held in place with crossed red chopsticks.

“I don’t abide with stopping,” said Kagami, and pushed herself up. If she couldn’t feel anything, it didn’t matter. She only had to get to the end, the part where she won. “You should give me your Miraculous.”

“Leave off, Kagami,” said the new Ladybug. “This isn’t who you are.”

“I have never been allowed to be myself,” she snapped, as she got steady on her feet again. “I have always been held back. What does it matter who I am?”

“It matters because it’s bad that you’re listening to someone who doesn’t want what’s right for you!” said Cat Noir.

“Isn’t everyone?” she said, turning back to him. “Aren’t we all listening to a big uncaring universe who doesn’t care for us? I was told I would get a soulmate who was perfectly suited for me. Everyone hears that story from the day they’re born, and yet I’m connected to a girl who is going to make two dozen people unhappy no matter who she chooses! A girl from my old school was told at nine years old that her soulmate was an adult man, and she got bullied for it! Mother’s soulmate was a gambling addict and then he died! The universe doesn’t want what’s right for us, it’s random! Or it’s a sick joke!”

“That’s not true —”

“Tell me, Cat Noir. Is your soulmate also Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Are you also bound to her, without your consent?”

His hands tightened around the stick, and he gritted his teeth. But that only lasted for a few moments — then he sighed, and twirled his hand. “I am,” he said, as a ghostly Marinette appeared behind him with her arm in a sling. Only for a moment, though; he immediately waved for her to disappear and took hold of the stick again.

“Did you ask to be bound to her? Did you tell the universe she should be yours? Does the universe know you better than you know yourself? Does it want what’s right for you?”

He looked uncertain for a moment. But then he steeled his jaw and snarled. “That doesn’t matter! The universe doesn’t tell us what to do!”

“Doesn’t it? I was told I needed to get to Paris, or I would never reach my full potential. The whole world told me I had to meet Marinette. And the whole world was wrong.”

“That’s still different!” he protested, but feebly. He clearly didn’t have a good argument to counter her. Instead, he lifted his stick again and swung it at her. She heard the noise as it glanced off her arm, but again she couldn’t feel it.

“Cat Noir!” shouted the new Ladybug holder. “I’ll try to tie her up! Keep her busy!”

“Okay, er… whoever you are,” he replied.

“Call me Second Joy,” she said.

Kagami spread her legs out and braced. She would not abide being pulled down again, but she also knew she couldn’t move fast enough to avoid the yo-yo’s rope around her. Meanwhile, Cat Noir walked up in front of her and tried to take up a threatening position with his stick, which didn’t work.

“I will not abide this,” she said. “Give me your Miraculous.”

Maybe the string was around her. She felt nothing.

“We won’t give you anything!” said Cat Noir.

“Then you are no better than the universe.”

He swung at her again. She tried to raise her arm to catch it, but found that she couldn’t move it — the string was around her, then. The staff clanged against the side of her head, probably, from the angle he was holding it, but nothing got through.

“I can’t do a thing!” complained Cat Noir. “It doesn’t hurt her!”

“And that’s a good thing,” said Second Joy. “We do not hurt people just for hurting.”

There was a whirring sound; Kagami turned back towards her and saw that she had pulled her yo-yo back.

“But you’re right that this isn’t working,” Second Joy continued. “We’ll need something else to win.”

“A Lucky Charm?”

“Maybe…”

Kagami frowned, stomped her foot against the floor. “I will not abide this discussion! Give me your Miraculous!”

“You know, for someone called Abider, there’s a lot of things you won’t abide,” said Cat Noir.

She saw him swing at her again. And she lifted her now-free arm and grabbed the stick, and it stopped dead against her palm.

“I’ve abided enough,” she said, and grabbed the stick with both hands. Then she flung it aside with all her might, and him with it; he crashed into the front door with a loud oof, and his stick with him.

But before she could turn back to Second Joy, the woman had already called out, “Lucky Charm!” —

— and Kagami turned back to see a mechanical contraption fall to the floor next to Second Joy. It was red with black spots, just like her jacket, and it had a screen and a touchpad, and it was all too familiar.

“What’s… that?” said Cat Noir.

“That is a So-ru Souchi BS-501 or SouSou,” said Kagami, a low growl under her words. “I don’t abide with your mockery.”

“I assure you, Kagami, I haven’t got a clue what this thing is…” said Second Joy, slowly shaking her head as she looked at it.

“You lie! This is Mother’s invention. This is the thing that told me where Marinette lives. Why would you call on it if not to mock me?”

“I swear I would never want to do that,” claimed Second Joy. It was a paper-thin lie. “Lucky Charms are never like that.”

“Then is this supposed to be mockery from the universe itself?” roared Kagami. She picked up a chair from the floor and flung it at Second Joy, who ducked away at the last minute. The wood splintered sharply against the back wall. Kagami picked up the little table next. “Is everything meant to be a cruel joke about me?”

She threw the table as well. Second Joy ducked another time, but Kagami didn’t care. The point wasn’t to hurt. The rage was the point. The crying out to the heavens about everything that had injured her. Maybe it would be satisfying if the table had made contact, but it wouldn’t have been her goal.

“I’ve spent my whole life living a lie that I only discovered a week ago! So give me your Miraculous, or I will stop abiding your existences!”

She picked up another chair and lifted it for a throw. But when she sent it flying, it was intercepted by Cat Noir, who jumped in front and smacked it aside with his stick.

“We’re all in the same boat!” he shouted. “You’re not alone in sharing a soulmate with too many people!”

“I’m alone in being me, in the middle of it all! I’m alone in being prohibited from spending time with her!” she shouted back. She didn’t know if she was capable of crying in this form, and she wouldn’t have been able to feel it if tears rolled down her cheeks, but she knew that if she were her regular self she wouldn’t have been able to stop weeping. “I’m alone in everything!”

“I’m also lonely!” he yelled. “I also can’t spend time with her like I want! But that’s nobody’s fault!” And he swung the staff again.

This time she grabbed it as it reflected off her body. Her arms couldn’t move fast enough to catch it beforehand. And she tightened her fists around it and flung Cat Noir aside, sending him flying into the living room as he lost his grip on the metal.

“If it’s nobody’s fault, then it wouldn’t have happened,” she growled. “Bad things happen because people do them! Or because the universe does! The only way nobody’s at fault is if nobody does bad things —”

She stopped in the middle of her tirade. Because she saw a figure at the edge of her vision, and she thought she heard a quiet voice say her name.

When she turned towards it, towards the top of the stairs and several yards away from either Second Joy or the SouSou, she saw Marinette. Broken-armed Marinette, concussed Marinette, bandaged Marinette, standing right there on the top step with large and concerned eyes.

“Kagami,” Marinette repeated.

“Marinette!” said Second Joy. “Stay back! You might get injured!”

“I’m already injured,” said Marinette. Her voice was bright, almost tinny. “It can’t get much worse than this.”

“Why are you here?” said Kagami. “Why didn’t you run away with Adrien, like I told you to?”

“Because I needed to talk to Mum first,” said Marinette, frowning in obvious defiance. “And because I decided I wasn’t done talking to you!”

Kagami threw Cat Noir’s staff to the side and shook her head. “We have nothing to talk about.”

“Yes we do! You just said no about it and decided we were done!” Her voice — briefly loud and aggravated — fell to something softer. “I want to talk to you. Okay?”

No — “No!” — how could that possibly be okay? They had talked so many times already, and nothing had helped, and it had led her to this point. Everything was wrong, and it had only gotten worse after they started talking. “I don’t want to talk!”

“If you took Second Joy’s and Cat Noir’s Miraculous, it would make her shut up…” whispered the voice in Kagami’s head. She ignored it.

“Well, if you don’t want to talk, you could at least be less loud about it,” snapped Marinette, putting her free hand to her forehead. “Kagami… I’m giving you an ultimatum. Either you talk to me, or I let myself fall down these stairs.”

“Marinette! No!” gasped Second Joy.

“I’ll be fine, Joy,” she said, grim-faced as she stared down at the ordeal ahead of her. The steps were wooden, but the floor below was tiles. If she hit her head on that, if she landed wrong, she could shatter her skull or break her neck.

Kagami made an involuntary step forward. But her movements were too slow. Her feet, guarded against injury, were unwieldy and heavy. She couldn’t possibly reach all the way from here before it was too late, if Marinette let herself fall now.

“You can just cast the cure afterwards,” Marinette continued. “It doesn’t matter if I get hurt. It’s all fine in the end.”

She didn’t exactly sound convinced about that. No, she sounded something much worse: she sounded determined.

“I won’t let you fall!” said Second Joy. She started spinning her yo-yo, ready to catch Marinette.

“I know who you are,” replied Marinette, like she didn’t even register what Second Joy had said. “Nobody else could have gotten here fast enough. Please let me have this choice all to myself. And I’m sorry for messing up the floor.” —

— things happened. First in Kagami’s head, and then in reality, and then both at once. Second Joy, Marinette knew her identity, and now Kagami did too — because to anyone who wasn’t there earlier, ‘messing up the floor’ would have sounded like ‘with my blood’. But to Kagami, and to Second Joy —

— and then Marinette suddenly fell forward, not even trying to pretend like she wasn’t doing it on purpose, and Kagami looked over at Second Joy and saw that the woman stood completely frozen, her yo-yo completely still, and Kagami took another step forward but it was too slow and it would never work, it wouldn’t even work with a soulmate to push her forward —

— and Marinette was still falling and soon she would hit the first step and she went through this only yesterday, how stupid was she, how much of a colossal idiot was she, and she fell against the stairs the first time with the shoulder of her non-broken arm as her hip struck sharp against the edge of a higher step and she didn’t even make a sound and it would never it would never —

And then Kagami was there. She didn’t know how, but she was herself, and she was three steps up on the staircase and she was holding Marinette tightly by whatever parts she’d been able to get a hold of, and Marinette was no longer falling and she was also conscious, and she used that consciousness to smile up at Kagami and murmur, “I knew it…”

“Kagami!” said Second Joy up on the balcony. “You’re free!”

“I’m not important right now!” she barked back, hating that she was being curt with Sabine-san of all people. But even so, Marinette had just fallen down the stairs again.

“You’re right,” said Second Joy. “You’re right…” — and that hurt to hear, no matter how true it was, no matter how much she’d asserted it herself.

Kagami slowly backed down, so that she could maybe put Marinette somewhere, because Marinette didn’t seem like she was able to stand on her own two feet right now. As she did so, she saw Cat Noir emerging from the shattered doorway to the living room and frowned at him, and he just gave her a thumbs up.

“Do you need help?” he asked.

“Marinette,” said Kagami. “Are you doing okay?”

“I… ow,” said Marinette. “Owww…”

“I might need help,” Kagami called back. “No — she needs help.”

“I also need help,” said Second Joy. “Cat Noir… how do I cast the cure?”

“Oh! Grab the thing, throw it in the air, say Miraculous Ladybug…” he said, as he rushed over to help Kagami lay Marinette down on the part of the floor where there was a carpet. “Shouldn’t we take her into the living room?”

“The cure will fix it,” croaked Marinette. “Kagami… ow… please stop putting pressure on the cast…”

Kagami jolted away. She hadn’t realised until it was pointed out, but she had pressed the broken arm between her body and Marinette’s, and she stared at Marinette in horror and apology — and Marinette just smiled.

“Thank you,” she whispered, and then her eyes closed.

“Hey! Don’t faint on us!” said Cat Noir, frantic.

“I’m not fainting,” murmured Marinette. “I’m just closing my eyes… I’m tired…”

“That’s what gets you! You’ll faint without knowing it, and that’s dangerous!”

She opened her eyes again. “Cat Noir, I only hit my hip. My head is fine. Except the headache. I just want to rest for a bit…”

“Wait until I’ve cast the cure, at least,” said Second Joy. She lifted the So-ru Souchi BS-501 or SouSou up and flung it towards the ceiling and called out, “Miraculous Ladybug!”, and suddenly a whirl of red spun out around her and covered the room, repairing the doorway, repairing the holes in the floor, sweeping across the floor and covering Marinette and then uncovering her…

… and the cast was still there.

“It didn’t cure you,” said Kagami, frowning.

“Of course not,” said Marinette. Her voice was barely audible. “All of this happened yesterday… can’t just expect magic to fix everything…”

And then she turned quiet, like she had actually fallen asleep.

“Cat Noir. Please take my daughter home so she can rest,” said Second Joy.

His eyes bulged. “Your daughter?”

“Yes.” She jumped down next to them and detransformed right after landing. “My precious, brave little daughter… take her home. You know where it is. Don’t pretend like you haven’t been up on that balcony every once in a while.”

He swallowed loudly. “Y-yes. I’ll take her home straight away. Thank you, Mme — Mme Cheng.”

“Off you go,” she said and smiled, though there was also some exhaustion in her eyes. “Don’t jolt her too much. She’s a deep sleeper, so she won’t be able to tell you if she’s uncomfortable.”

“R-right!” He stood up, cradling Marinette in his arms, and started carrying her towards the door.

Kagami just sat there on her knees, registering the goings-on as though they were a dream. But then Sabine’s hand touched her shoulder, and she felt as though the real world had started moving again.

“You and I,” said Sabine when Kagami looked up at her, “have something to discuss, dear.”

Discuss. Talk about. Maybe they did — but Marinette had already claimed that, and Kagami had completely forgotten in the stress since. “What about Marinette?” she said, and it was a stupid question, because the answer on the surface level was so obvious.

Even so, Sabine seemed to catch on to what Kagami was really asking about. “She just needs rest. She’ll talk to you like she promised tomorrow, okay? Don’t worry, she’s tougher than she looks.”

Of course she was. That was never in question, except literally the first time Kagami saw her. But despite that, her toughness wasn’t an invitation for people to come in and test her limits.

“But you should come with me,” Sabine continued. “Because I can tell you need someone to talk to.”

Kagami nodded, even though she didn’t really know if that was true. She wouldn’t be shocked if it were, she just felt too befuddled to recognise her own emotions right now. Something about feeling so untrustworthy that she asked Marinette to leave, and then for Marinette to come back and literally put her life in Kagami’s hand as a measure of trust… that was, in every sense of the word, insane. And despite that, somehow, it worked.

Something about shouting out her emotions to the heroes, to Marinette and Sabine, to whoever else might have been in the vicinity of the house, also left her sitting between two chairs. She felt vindicated, but also vaguely… ashamed. Or at the very least, she felt like the her that shouted wasn’t fully her.

It was mostly her, of course. Possibly it was all her. But she imagined everything that might have happened the first time she got akumatised, when Marinette was also the topic, and worried that what she said then might not have been things she would enjoy having said.

And — oh. Yes, she definitely did need someone to talk to.

They went up the stairs, to the kitchen. Sabine seemed to have been interrupted in the middle of frying up pieces of pork; they had stopped sizzling, but the pan was obviously still hot. And Sabine went straight up to it and right back to cooking.

“… How are you feeling, dear?” said Sabine. Her hesitation was obvious from her tone, even though the words themselves came out straightforwardly.

“I wish I knew.”

“What was it that got you so upset?”

Kagami sighed. “Can I help you with anything?”

“No. Tell me what got you so upset,” said Sabine, before she too sighed. “Please.”

“I don’t know.” It was the truth, as far as she knew it. Because it didn’t make sense for her to lash out at Marinette for expressing trust. She wanted friendship. She wanted closeness. She wanted Marinette. And if possible, she would like to have all three of them together. So why did she keep rejecting Marinette’s attempts to befriend her? To bury the hatchet that Kagami kept digging back up again?

Why was the hatchet always in Kagami’s hand? And why did she keep lodging it in Marinette’s back?

“You seem to have soulmates on your mind a lot,” said Sabine, grinding pepper across the frying pan. “Are you frustrated about Marinette again?”

Yes. “No.” Not like that, but it was there. “She is her own person and I respect her autonomy.”

“I see,” said Sabine. “But you are still upset you can’t have her.”

“I’m upset that the universe dealt me a bad hand,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows even though Sabine wasn’t looking at her. “I… like her. But I don’t want to impose on her choices.”

“I see,” Sabine said again. Kagami furrowed her brows even deeper. “Can I ask a different question?”

“… Yes.”

Sabine glanced over her shoulder for a moment. “What does a soulmate mean to you?”

Kagami took a little while to ponder her answer. It wasn’t difficult to find; it was just frustrating to express aloud. “Right now? It means nothing.”

“But in the past, what did it mean to you?”

“A life partner.” This answer needed no deliberation. “A perfect half. A person who is strong where you are weak, and weak where you are strong. Someone the universe,” she almost spat the word, “has assigned to be yours, and yours alone.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because — because that’s what she is in all the TV shows and books!” ‘She’ — a slip of the tongue, but it didn’t matter. She was maybe whispering Marinette’s name quietly along all the words she was saying aloud right now, but that didn’t mean she was demanding anything. “Every child looks forward to getting their forever-partner at nine years old! We had a school festival in third grade to mark our last year of being our own! Everyone knows what a soulmate is!”

“Could you get me a jar of puréed tomatoes from the fridge?”

Kagami opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She was getting just a little bit frustrated with Sabine now, and yet she hated herself for feeling that way, because Sabine was still paying more attention to her than Mother ever had. At this point, it wasn’t even in question that Sabine was the one who had talked to her more. “Of… of course,” she said, and got off the chair to approach the refrigerator.

It was when she had opened the door and started to look inside that Sabine spoke again. “I’m sorry for asking like this,” she said. “I’m just curious to know your thoughts. Soulmates can mean many different things to different people. But I know perfectly well what they’re made to be like in the media… Marinette’s school held a soulmates celebration party for her class on the first school day of the year after everyone had turned nine. It was meant to celebrate their connections. I don’t think Marinette has had a worse school day in her life.”

“I see,” said Kagami. She noticed, but didn’t comment on, the way that Sabine had said that soulmates could mean ‘different things to different people’, because she expected that an explanation was forthcoming. Sabine was about to explain what soulmates meant to her.

“Of course, someone always falls through the cracks,” Sabine went on. “Some people get odd soulmates, and others get multiple. Some don’t get a soulmate at all. I think when you get a soulmate who doesn’t fit into the story you’re being told about soulmates, you start to ask questions about the whole system.”

“My soulmate doesn’t fit in. But I couldn’t tell until last week,” said Kagami, and knew she sounded whiny.

“Yes. Honestly, Marinette’s case is pretty unique…”

Kagami procured the jar and placed it on the desk. “Yes,” she said, after the little click of glass against wood.

“Thank you, dear.” Sabine took the jar and pulled the lid off. “Now, personally… I don’t think the universe gives us soulmates for romance. I don’t even think soulmates should be called ‘mates’.”

As predicted. Kagami remained by the fridge, her hand on the door.

“I prefer to think of them as… someone you’ll meet who will have an impact on you. Or perhaps you’ll have an impact on them.”

“A friend?”

Sabine shook her head. “I think they might be. But they could also be someone you meet at just the right time, and then never again.”

“But… then where’s the significance? Why would the universe give us soulmates if there’s no reason to have a connection?”

“I don’t know.”

“My mother,” said Kagami, and knew she had put her foot in it. This was not a topic she wanted to broach. But now she had, and she had to keep going, “is barely functional as a person. She never communicates with anyone, she forgets to eat and sleep, and she never does housework. When Father was alive, he filled in for her, he… he did housework. He gave her food. He filled in the gaps in her. And in return, she… had a lot of money, which he used to gamble and drink.”

A clump had formed in her throat. Probably, she had glassy eyes too, like she always did when she thought about this too hard.

“They were soulmates. If they weren’t, if they were never pushed together by the universe… they were a perfect match. They wouldn’t have survived on their own.”

She wanted Sabine to contradict her. To grab her by the shoulders and tell her they were bad for each other, to hug her and say that they were bad for her, to yell at the universe on her behalf, about the way the promise hadn’t been broken just for her but also for her parents.

Sabine did push the pan off the stove and turn to hug her. But she didn’t say any of those things. Instead, she said: “Now things are starting to make sense…”

And Kagami didn’t resist the hug, because she didn’t want to, because she didn’t have the mental fortitude to rebuff comfort from Sabine. But she said, “That I’m so angry all the time?”

“No. Not at all. I meant something else. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all this, Kagami.”

“What’s the point of a soulmate if the soulmate doesn’t make life better?” she breathed.

“I don’t know if anything from the universe is supposed to make life better,” said Sabine. Her hand started to slowly rub Kagami’s back. “I don’t know that the universe knows what it’s doing like that… honestly, it sounds like your parents enabled each other’s bad habits more than they helped each other to be better.”

“But if they didn’t have each other…”

“Then their lives would have turned out different. Not necessarily worse, or better. Nothing is guaranteed.”

“So how can you say that soulmates are meant to have an impact on you? If — if the universe doesn’t care, and nothing is guaranteed?”

Sabine pulled back then, but she grabbed Kagami’s upper arms and held on to them. Not so firmly that it hurt, but with enough force that Kagami knew it wasn’t just an empty gesture. “It’s not about the universe. It’s about you. Don’t worry about what plans the universe has for you, because it doesn’t have any. I think the ones who have to make those plans are… us. You and me, and everyone else. We make our soulmates matter. The universe gave you Marinette, and you have to decide for yourself what that means. It doesn’t have to mean romance.”

Kagami was definitely crying now. And the clump in her throat had grown so large it was painful to swallow. “What if… what if I want it to be romance?”

“Then I’m afraid there’s no way to guarantee it. You’ll have to throw yourself at her mercy and ask her to take you. And if she doesn’t… you’ll have to find something else to make her have meaning to you.”

“That’s not helpful at all,” said Kagami. “That’s… that doesn’t help me.”

“I’m sorry,” said Sabine. “It’s the best I have to say. I’m sorry I can’t do anything better.”

The problem was… Marinette was meaningful. That had been decided for Kagami, or perhaps a part of Kagami that didn’t consult her thinking brain had decided it. But she couldn’t look at Marinette and decide to stop being in love. Even if Marinette never gave her any love back, her love still existed, abided.

And because of that, Marinette’s existence just… held meaning. The way she lived, devoted herself, breathed, that wouldn’t stop being meaningful to Kagami even if Kagami fell out of love. She had started out thinking that Ivan-san and Nathaniel-san were fools for not pursuing their soulmates; now, she thought them fools for not pursuing Marinette. She thought the whole world was a fool for not wanting Marinette. And she knew perfectly well that that was stupid, that she was viewing everything through a tinted lens. She also knew that if everyone went after Marinette, there would be no room for her to partake in the competition; and she knew that Marinette deserved respite from courtship.

Her feelings were irrational. They were just incredibly strong.

And if she could do what Ivan-san did, what Nathaniel-san did, to find meaning in Marinette outside a romantic context… that would be better in the long run.

The problem was just the size of that ‘if’.

In the background, through the sniffles and gulps for air, the meat continued to sizzle weakly in the pan. Even though it was pulled most of the way off the stove, the heat lingered within.

“Kagami…” said Sabine, after a long silence. “I have to confess something to you.”

“Confess?” mumbled Kagami. She tried to catch Sabine’s eyes, but they weren’t willing to meet her.

“I kept it secret from you because I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. But I can see now that I put pressure on you anyway, and you deserve to know.”

“Know what?”

Sabine sighed. “I got a soulmate that forced me to question the system. And I think I ought to show you rather than tell you.”

She took her hands off Kagami’s arms and stepped back. Kagami could only stand and watch; she had no words to use except superfluous ones. And she watched as Sabine took a deep breath, made a gesture with her hand, and conjured up a blue and translucent…

… Marinette.

It was her, just the same as Kagami’s was her. Placed side by side, the two souls would be identical, something Kagami knew without even conjuring her own because of all the times she had seen that soul shimmering in her bedroom.

“… How…” she started, intending it as a question but faltering before any words could come out.

“She looked nine when I got her. She was a lovely girl to look at, I thought… but we didn’t have technology for finding soulmates back then. So I never found out who she really was. For years, I believed I would meet her… perhaps one day even court her. But then I realised… she never changed. I was fourteen, and she still looked nine years old, not a single change from how she looked at my ninth birthday. So I thought she must have died.”

Somehow, she chuckled as she said that. Kagami only noticed the bitter undertone to that laugh as it was ending.

“I moved on, of course. It was bad luck, but people die all the time, so I reasoned I’d find someone else whose soulmate had died and start a life with them. I stopped summoning my soulmate, because it didn’t feel right to raise the dead. I moved to France eventually and met Tom, and we got married and had our little Marinette… you know, I called myself Second Joy because the Virgin Mary’s second joy was when she had her child. And the most common ladybird in Europe is the seven-spotted ladybird, where each point is said to represent one of her seven joys… oh, I’m rambling again. I’m sorry.”

Kagami shook her head. “It’s fine.”

“Thank you. So… as Marinette’s ninth birthday was approaching, I couldn’t help but feel this strange sense of déjà vu. And on her birthday, it struck me. It struck me so baffled that I ended up summoning her soul in the middle of her birthday party, and… I don’t think she’s ever forgiven me for that. I know she cares deeply for me, and she knows I care about her, but when it comes to soulmates she wants very firmly to make her own choices. And how could I refuse, when I made all the kids at her party laugh at her?”

“She makes you stay back?”

“Oh, no, you know how she is with making demands.” Sabine smiled in the way that Kagami was starting to realise was just a milder and less insulting version of an eyeroll. “I make myself. It’s the least I can do. So I let her make her choices today. Don’t worry, I don’t go around blaming myself for what happened. I just have my own principles. I think everyone should decide things for themselves, although… let’s just say if I didn’t trust the Miraculous, I would never have allowed her to tumble down those stairs.”

Allowed her to tumble down those stairs. What a weird sentence to utter — what a weirder thing to actually have happened. That was less than half an hour ago.

“She… put her life in my hands,” said Kagami. “You put her life in my hands.”

“I know,” said Sabine, smiling a sad little smile. “And you came through.”

“Why would you do that? Your own… daughter and soulmate? I’ve only known… it’s only a week since the first time we met. It’s even less for Marinette.”

“I can’t answer for Marinette.”

“But you can answer for yourself,” said Kagami. She looked straight at Sabine and realised that she hadn’t heard everything yet when she saw the shifting of Sabine’s eyes. “… You’re hiding something.”

Sabine shook her head. “I’m not hiding it. I’ve been planning to say it since I called you in to speak with me. I just don’t know how to bring it up.”

“Is something wrong with Marinette?” asked Kagami, feeling the ground slip away underneath her feet.

“Beyond what you already know? No, I don’t think so. No, it’s me there’s something wrong with.”

Kagami opened her mouth, wanted to protest or probe and she didn’t know which one, because something being wrong with Sabine was also horrible. But before she could even line up any words in her head, Sabine moved her hand again — and another spirit appeared, right next to Marinette’s, the same height as Marinette’s. And Kagami didn’t even need to have seen this spirit before to recognise who it was.

“… That’s me,” she said, feeling her voice wobble with uncertainty. “I’m — also your soulmate?”

“Yes. I was very surprised when you answered the door that day, you know… I expected I might meet you somewhere, some day, but the problem with expecting anything is that you aren’t ready for anything. And… can you imagine, being a woman in her late thirties with a middle schooler as her soulmate? I don’t exactly want to advertise that. That’s why I’ve been cautious to tell you. Even if I don’t believe soulmates are romantic by default, that doesn’t mean I could convince you… and the first time I met you, I didn’t know what I wanted to provide for you. I only found that out once I saw you crying next to the dishes.”

“Provide what?” said Kagami, faltering on the words. She had too many impressions in her head to even fully register what had just happened.

“I needed to make sure you weren’t lonely. That you wouldn’t have to cry by yourself.” Sabine shook her head slowly. “But I was unfair not to tell you this. You deserved to have known from the start. I was just scared.”

And being scared was understandable. If Kagami’s upperclassman had been bullied into complete submission over her older soulmate by the other kids in that class, then an adult with a child as her soulmate would be bullied not just by her social circle but also by the media.

In a way, this was an answer to a plea Kagami had already made. In the depths of her despair, she had wanted Sabine — kind, warm, open, helpful, motherly but so unlike Mother — to be her soulmate. She had wanted soulmates to not be romantic. Knowing that Sabine had her as a soulmate instead only barely changed the equation, at least as it regarded the two of them.

But still, this knowledge left her with a hollow feeling in her chest. A sense that she was missing something.

“I’m honoured to know I’m your soulmate, Sabine-san,” she said and bowed.

“If you want to honour me, then stop it with the honorifics.” Sabine sighed, though she did it with a smile. “And you can honour me by helping me make dinner.”

“Yes,” said Kagami. “I’d like that.”

Sabine put the pan back on the stove. She explained she was making spaghetti following a recipe from her husband, and put Kagami to work boiling the pasta. The pieces of meat kept sizzling to a dark brown colour, until Sabine added the tomato purée and a splash of vinegar.

And Kagami knew what she needed to do to put this all to rest. She would have to jump into the pan and finally talk to Marinette openly, honestly, and straightforwardly. It would hurt, just like any flame. But if all went well, she would be perfectly seared and still edible.

And if not… she would at least have finally gone through the fire.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was Friday. It was ten minutes past four. It was the end of a schoolday in which Kagami had variously been chided and pitied and, occasionally, praised for throwing Marinette down the stairs.

While it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience, she could bear it. None of it went deeper than words or glances, and nobody went particularly far. They were just upset about what happened to Marinette, and in that regard she was perfectly aligned with them.

The judgement she cared about was the one that now waited for her inside 12 Rue Gotlib, in the form of a broken-armed girl who had repeatedly bore the brunt of Kagami’s outbursts. All the rest of it was of no concern to her. Other than that of Sabine, of course, but Sabine’s judgement had been mild.

And honestly, so had Marinette’s. Kagami didn’t expect to be kicked out and told to never return, because she could scarcely imagine anything that felt less like Marinette. No, the thing that would burn her today was her own confessions. Not the ones she made yesterday: the confession that she wanted to date Marinette, but she didn’t abide with the circus that had built up around her. Maybe Marinette could abide it, because she had abided with a lot and still bounced back with a smile, but Kagami knew nonsense when she saw it.

Unfortunately, her head was full of nonsense right now. Nonsense like the idea that this might turn out well for her, or conversely: the idea that Marinette would turn out to secretly have hated her all along. She knew those weren’t likely, because she had been introduced to Marinette, and Marinette often tried to hide herself but she was bad at it. Her most hidden depths were buried so shallow that you could dig them out with a teaspoon.

The tiny bell above the large-windowed door jingled as Kagami stepped through, with her favourite bag slung over her shoulder. Before she even had a chance to geographically orient herself, she was met with an overpowering though not unwelcome scent of pastry dough, powdered sugar, and melted chocolate; then, as her eyes adjusted to the brighter inside, she saw four customers lined up in front of the desk, and Sabine seated at the register.

Sabine gave a little finger wave as a greeting, but of course she was too busy to devote all her attention to Kagami. So Kagami dutifully lined up and waited.

Once Kagami was at the front of the line, now with four new customers in line behind her, she bowed and said, “Hello, Sabine.”

“Hello, dear,” replied Sabine — well, at least Kagami had a suspicion why Sabine called her ‘dear’ now. “Are you after pastries today?”

“I was hoping to speak to Marinette. Is she in?”

“She had better be,” said Sabine. “I’m sure she’s trying to do something inadvisable with her unbroken arm, though. If you go back outside and then circle around to your right, you’ll find a big double door with a speaker system. Ring the bell that says ‘Dupain-Cheng’, not the one that says ‘Tom & Sabine’, and wait until you can hear her. She’ll let you in.”

“Thank you,” said Kagami and bowed again, before turning to leave.

“Sure you’re not interested in a pastry? My Tom’s one of the best bakers along the Seine.”

“Don’t praise me too much now, honey,” Tom-san called out from the back area.

Kagami shook her head. “Thank you. But I’m fine for food.” In fact, she had packed yesterday’s spaghetti as food, but she didn’t feel right saying that out loud.

After a few more standard greetings, Kagami went back outside and turned right. The large double doors, obviously repainted many times but most recently with a mossy green, quickly came into view. She stepped up to it and found the doorbell, then pushed it.

Five seconds later, she heard Tom-san’s tinny voice: “Other bell, Kagami.”

“I apologise!” she squealed. She bowed to the speaker and felt warm blood rise to her cheeks in embarrassment, and she wasn’t sure if that was only because of her mistaken push or if it also played a part that she had just shown deferent respect to an inanimate object that couldn’t see her.

Regardless, the bell for the apartment rang for perhaps a whole minute before there was a reply. And that reply came in the form of a somewhat-breathless Marinette saying “H-hello?”

“Hello. It’s me, Kagami. May I come up?”

“Oh! Oh, um… yeah! Give me a mo— oh, no, no, nonono —”

Then the line cut out. Nonetheless, a very short while later, the door made a sharp buzzing noise and there was a click, which Kagami took as a sign to pull it open. It worked, and soon she was standing at the bottom of a stairwell, gazing up at two flights and a vaulted ceiling. Kagami started climbing immediately, because the only door on the ground floor must lead to the bakery; she stopped on the first floor, though, regretting that she didn’t ask Sabine which floor Marinette would be on. Because there was a door here, but also another flight of stairs going further up.

That regret soon abated when she heard a low musical hum from inside, from a voice that sounded familiar. Soon after, she heard that same voice saying, “Oops! There you are…” — and she was certain. She walked straight up and knocked on the door, three fast raps.

“Oh! Oh, sorry! Just a nonononono please —” Marinette’s reply was punctuated with what sounded like something slightly damp hitting the floor, and then a pulling-of-air-through-the-teeth that was very audible on this side of the door.

And then the door swung open, and Marinette was there, standing in a sea of wet laundry, still as bandaged as she was yesterday. The most awkward grin Kagami had ever seen in her life was painted across the girl’s face.

“H-hey,” she said. “Sorry… I was going to greet you upstairs, but then I had an accident…”

“I can tell,” said Kagami. Without another word, she knelt down to start picking up the clothes off the floor.

“Kagami — !”

“You had your second accident trying to pick this up again,” said Kagami. She didn’t even bother to look up. This was a time to help, regardless of anything to do with soulmates, regardless of Kagami’s feelings on laundry.

Actually, she didn’t particularly mind laundry. Or dishes, or dusting, or cooking. What she minded was that she had always had to do it by herself. Helping Marinette to do it was a triple gift basket.

After a few seconds, Marinette also hunched down to pick up some of the lighter things; Kagami turned over the plastic tub that Marinette had clearly dropped while carrying the laundry and started to put the things she’d picked up into it.

Once everything was in place, Kagami lifted the tub and went into a standing position. “Where should I put it?”

“Erm… up the stairs,” said Marinette, obviously sheepish. “Laundry room. I was moving it to the dryer, but then you called and it accidentally, y’know.”

“But… you didn’t fall down,” said Kagami, wanting to hear it confirmed with words before she moved even an inch.

“No! I wouldn’t be upright at the moment if I did that, haha. Um. You… you can take it upstairs, if you want. Or I could leave it here for Mum later. I don’t think I can carry it up by myself…”

Could Marinette carry anything by herself, though? That was the real question, if you asked Kagami. An arm in a cast wasn’t exactly optimal for housework. “I’ll take it,” she said. “Into the dryer?”

“Yeah. I’ll come with, I’ll show you the program. Um, thanks.”

Kagami sighed as she saw Marinette lead the way up. The stairs were winding and the steps weren’t exactly the safest she had seen in her life. If something happened on the way up, she wouldn’t even hesitate to use Marinette to protect Marinette. A third day of staircase accidents — no, Kagami wouldn’t stand by and let that happen.

“Why aren’t you resting?” asked Kagami, resigned to it at this point.

“Well, um, you know how they say idle hands are the devil’s plaything?” said Marinette as she pulled open the dryer door. The action seemed to take rather a lot of effort for her single available arm. “I think the devil lives in my hands no matter what. I can’t sit still, I — I have to do things or I go crazy.”

“I have never heard that saying before.” The devil — that was a Catholic thing, wasn’t it? Some kind of evil spirit who sought humanity’s doom? How weird to limit his powers just to idle hands, then.

Marinette’s eyes went wide. “Really? Oh, um… well, it’s like… it means if you don’t do anything, the devil controls you. I don’t really believe in that stuff, but sometimes my fingers start taking apart a pen just to have something to do and I’m like, maybe I have finger devils.”

“There must be a psychiatric diagnosis for that,” Kagami commented drily. Probably several, though she wasn’t qualified to make any sort of guess.

“Maybe. Um… yeah.”

Kagami started to put the clothes in the dryer. Marinette remained standing on the far side of the room, idle hand opening and closing.

Eventually, Marinette continued the conversation. “It’s really good you came in today, actually,” she said. “I really did want to talk to you yesterday, I was just tired.”

“I also want to talk to you,” said Kagami. “Rather, I need to talk to you.”

“Me too!” said Marinette, suddenly energetic. “I, um… yeah!”

“How come?” said Kagami, frowning as she closed the dryer door.

“I, um… well how come you need to talk to me?” replied Marinette, getting a little frown of her own. “Turn on the third program for those. Then push the… yes, good.”

The dryer started right up with a mighty howl, and Marinette’s frown faded as quickly as it had come. “Um, living room?” she said, nodding towards the door.”

Kagami shrugged. Any room was good, so long as the talk could happen.

Even so… she could feel herself stalling. She had talked about other things to pass the time, rather than insist they talk immediately. She hadn’t gone straight to the point.

There was something about Marinette that was very distracting. Not in the ‘she’s so beautiful, I can’t concentrate’ sense, but… something about her being that made it make sense to jump between topics. Like her brain was a ping-pong match, and it was contagious. Another psychiatric diagnosis to add to the pile, perhaps.

“Want anything to drink?” said Marinette.

“Maybe water,” said Kagami, before her brain caught up to her ears and she turned to see Marinette filling up a jug with water. “Marinette!”

“Hm?”

“Stop doing things! Sit down in that sofa, and I will carry the water!”

“But —”

“No!” Kagami pointed very severely. “Sit! Or I will push you down the stairs again!”

It was the emptiest threat Kagami had ever made. If she could make it so that Marinette would never again in her life have to interact with a staircase, she would; she would pad very inch of metal that Marinette would ever have to walk across to guard her against any further broken arms or concussions. And hopefully, Marinette knew that. Even so, the threat worked, and Marinette bashfully put the half-full mug down on the countertop and mumbled, “Sorry…”

So Kagami filled the mug, brought two glasses, put it all on a tray, and carried it to the living room table. It was scarcely a living room; it was more like an extension of the kitchen with a television at the end. Even though the apartment seemed to cover as many storeys as Kagami’s house, it was so laterally squeezed that probably all of it could have fit inside that large tiled hallway. It must be so much easier to keep clean.

It must be so much more comfortable to spend time in with a lover.

And Marinette was sitting there by the table, drumming her fingers against her knee, looking vaguely upset about her situation.

Her soulmate. The person that the universe assigned to be hers. Or not. She honestly didn’t know anymore how she felt about soulmates — if Sabine was right and they were just randomly given out by an uncaring universe, so that people might choose for themselves how to make their connections matter — if she still wanted soulmates to be perfect romantic partners — if Marinette and everyone around her was just a universal anomaly — nothing truly made sense. So no, Kagami didn’t know how she felt about soulmates.

She only knew how she felt about Marinette.

Marinette had been assigned to her. And whether she thought soulmates ought to be romantic or not, she wanted to be romantic with Marinette. Whether or not the universe supposed that soulmates should create their own meaning for each other, she wanted to create meaning with Marinette. If it was only accident that they were brought together, then that was a good accident, one that ought to be cherished.

As long as Marinette would let her. Because Marinette, thus far, had abided years of courtship from people she didn’t want to court. She had abided Chloé-san, and being pulled along for all manner of activities that had clearly drained her energy. She had abided falling down the stairs, and two separate akumatisations, and all manner of things from Kagami in specific. Cat Noir had been right to point out yesterday that Kagami didn’t really abide nearly enough to earn her name. But Marinette had earned it twice over.

And she was an aromantic and an asexual. Kagami knew that must be true. Because Marinette was upset by the idea of holding hands; she had said she probably wouldn’t fall in love with anyone. But Kagami needed to put all the cards on the table, to confess her own position, to move on. She couldn’t stand the thought of waiting in line for something that would never happen. She would reach for it with all her might, or she wouldn’t take it at all. And she would do it with honesty, which was why she brought her bag, and the drawings inside it.

Kagami placed the tray on the table, sat down in the sofa, turned towards Marinette, and sighed. But before she had a chance to speak any part of her followup, Marinette said, “Um, I have something I need to tell you. It’s very important.”

“Important?”

“Yes. Very important, and please listen. Okay?”

Kagami nodded. The time of rejection had come, then. She would just have to explain herself afterwards —

“I’m in love with you,” said Marinette, and Kagami felt like she had been shot in at least one vital organ.

“You’re… what?”

“I’m in love with you!” Marinette repeated, this time with a hint of bite to her tone. “And I just had to get that out there before we talk about anything else because I know you’ve given up on me, and you don’t want me in your house or, or whatever. And I can’t ask you for anything, but I just… I wanted you to know. So, y’know.”

For a few moments, Kagami could only open and close her mouth like a layabout fish. All coherence blasted from her mind, the only word she could think to say out loud was, “Why?”

“Uh… because you stood up for me?” Marinette rolled her eyes — rolled her eyes — as though that made any sense. “Because you sat with me all the way to the hospital? Because you said you’d give me space and you did, you said you wouldn’t use my soul and you didn’t? Because you’re gorgeous?”

Kagami wasn’t even going to dignify that last one with a response. “I broke your arm!” she said instead.

“Yeah! Did you know you’re the first soulmate who’s done anything so exciting with me? I mean I’m still in pain and all but I have painkillers and — I’ve gone around for so long just, everyone’s trying to court me and you come in, try to stab me with a sword, call me rude, I was so happy the first time I talked to you. It was like, you saw me for being me? Yeah, you saw me. I loved that.”

“You… think your true self is rude and should be stabbed with swords?”

“No! Or, maybe! I don’t like being stabbed, you know. But compared to everyone else who just tells me I’m beautiful and I deserve good things? You went straight for it. You cared about who I actually was, even when you were chewing me out. And when everyone’s gone around using my spirit so much… I loved it. I mean, I didn’t fall in love straight away, but I was interested since the birthday, I think. And I was probably in love before I got the concussion.”

She said ‘probably’. That was either reassuring because this sudden revelation wasn’t a head injury thing, or it was slightly disquieting because it might still be a head injury thing.

Or no, it was terror-inspiring either way. Because this was completely the wrong way for this conversation to have gone.

“Chloé doesn’t treat you nicely,” she protested, but it wasn’t exactly a powerful opposition.

“Chloé treats me more like property than anyone. I don’t want to be owned by anyone. I hate soulmates. I don’t hate the people but I wish soulmates didn’t exist, no offence. People using me all the time, all this pressure… I don’t fall in love from dates. I fall in love like I fall down stairs, I think. Not literally. But it’s not like I plan for it, and here you are and you don’t want me anymore, so I’m not after anything, I just thought you should know.”

Kagami closed her mouth somewhere around ‘don’t want me’. When Marinette stopped talking, Kagami opened her bag and pulled out the sketchbook pages she’d brought along. Including the scrambled, ruined, footmarked ex-birthday gift. She handed them over in a pile, placing them atop Marinette’s knees, and didn’t say anything.

“… What’s this?”

“Sketches I drew while I posed your soul around my Shinjuku bedroom. I thought you should have a look at them.”

“Oh,” said Marinette, and started flipping through them. She even flipped past the sketch she’d stepped on without noticing what it was; then again, it wasn’t like she had seen which sketch it was in the first place.

After a whole quiet minute, if not a whole quiet decade, Marinette looked up and said, “You’re really talented, Kagami! These are gorgeous!”

Kagami frowned at her. “Aren’t you disgusted by them? They’re visual proof that I took your soul and used it against your will.”

“Erm,” said Marinette. “No? I mean, it’s different if they use me for chores or homework. Or it feels different, at least.”

“You are frustratingly inconsistent with your principles, Marinette.”

“I guess so. I’m sorry,” she said with a little laugh. “I just —”

“The reason I came here today,” Kagami interjected, “was to tell you that I’m still interested in you.”

Marinette looked like a deer about to be run over by a train. “Um… what?”

“I’m still interested in you. I want to date you. I will not enter your idiotic rotation, but I wanted to make it clear that I’m not over you. I am, in fact, into you.”

“Oh.” There was a frustrating pause, and then came Marinette’s far-more-frustrating actual reaction, with half-stammers and flickering eyes. “I, um, I definitely shouldn’t have told you all that stuff, then…”

Kagami clenched her fists. “Yes, you should! If you are interested in someone, you should tell them! Don’t be obligated to everyone else on how to feel! Just speak your own desires!”

“So, what, I should just tell you I want to dip you into a kiss right here and now?”

“Yes!” What? Did she really?

“I should tell you that I had delirium dreams about you and liked it?”

“Yes! If that’s true!” Please let it be true!

“I should tell you that I’d even be willing to hold your hand if you gave me a warning about it first?”

“Yes! You should!”

“Then scooch over until you’re sitting right next to me already!” commanded Marinette, pointing sharply at a spot so close to her side that it wouldn’t leave any room between them. And Kagami, dumbfounded by where this conversation had turned to, did as she’d been told.

The cheek kiss was simultaneously surprising, and the fulfilment of a promise. Somewhat, at least.

“I can’t dip you until I’m healed again,” said Marinette. Her tone was still a little defiant, like she expected to be challenged on it. “So you’ll have to wait for that.”

They sat in silence for a little while after that. In that little room, which now held better memories for Kagami than all previous rooms she’d ever been in combined. Without even realising it, Kagami had let her hand crawl up on Marinette’s thigh; as Marinette didn’t protest, Kagami also saw no reason to rectify the situation once she noticed.

“You know,” said Marinette eventually, “I didn’t think today would end up like this.”

“Me either,” said Kagami. She had expected to be rebuffed and sent home, or perhaps at best to be rebuffed and then hugged. Not… whatever it was that had happened, which she would honestly struggle to summarise accurately.

“Are we… dating now?”

“The decision is yours.” Kagami felt her lips go a little dry. “Though I know what I would prefer…”

“Dolt,” said Marinette. “Dating is a decision we make together. I can’t just command you to date me.”

“It’s not a command if I accept it willingly,” said Kagami.

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

Marinette took a hold of Kagami’s thigh hand then. And of the hand, not the wrist. Kagami looked at her in surprise.

“We should go down to the bakery,” she said. “Tell Mum and Dad. And then I can buy you a pastry and feed it to you.”

Kagami shook her head, a little hot in the cheeks. “If anyone’s feeding anyone, then I should feed you. You are injured.”

“And I have devil hands that can’t sit still,” countered Marinette.

“Clearly the solution is two pastries,” said Kagami.

“Maybe,” said Marinette. “A second joy.”

They still argued about it all the way to the ground floor and the bakery counter, and then Sabine told them to not disturb the other customers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They waited to reveal it to their schoolmates, Adrien included, until Marinette returned to school halfway through the next week. Most of the class took it well; Alya-san commented that ‘the dating pool just opened up significantly’. There were disappointed faces, but none that seemed to carry grudges. And people came up to sign Marinette’s cast with hearts and flowers, and to congratulate the two of them.

Chloé-san was an exception. But without a claim to Marinette, she quickly lost steam and faded back into generalised complaining.

They took the seats in the front row, and they took down the tape. Red tape wasn’t something that should be used for determining relationships. From now on, the two of them had permanent seats.

Even the others who voted for Kagami to be excluded the week before, now smiled for about this outcome. That was probably largely because Marinette was there, so they could tell that Marinette didn’t have any ill-will towards Kagami. And possibly because they had realised by now that the system they’d worked in hadn’t exactly been a good one…

But the biggest question of the day came from Nino-san, at the table they shared with him, Adrien, and Alya-san. “So was she your soulmate after all?” he asked.

“No,” said Kagami.

“Yes,” said Marinette.

Kagami looked over at Marinette, baffled. “No, I’m not  —” she started, until she remembered that Marinette had wanted to keep her soulmate a secret. “I meant, Marinette, what are you doing?”

“I’m telling Nino about my soulmate,” said Marinette, leaning her head against Kagami’s shoulder.

“That’s rad,” said Nino. “Congrats.”

That question wasn’t big in itself, but it led to Kagami asking a much bigger question after school. “Do you want to use me as defence when people ask you to show your soulmate?”

“If you’re willing,” said Marinette. “It’s so much easier than what I’ve been doing.”

“I’d be willing to be your actual soulmate too,” said Kagami.

It was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. A silly comment to remind both of them that they didn’t care. But Marinette seemed to give it some thought.

“What if I made you be my soulmate?” she said.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’m done letting the universe tell me what to do. Maybe I could think about it really hard and then you become my soulmate, and it’s just a big middle finger to the system. Don’t you think so?”

Kagami sighed. “Isn’t that just soulmates in reverse?”

“The reverse part is the entire point,” said Marinette. “The universe gave me me. I don’t want that. I mean, I don’t want soulmates at all, but if I got you, it would be… I don’t know. It would be funny, at least. I feel like we’d be messing with some angel up in heaven.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in those things?”

“I don’t.” Marinette stopped a little. “I’m just… a little over being controlled. I want to be in control for once. I don’t want to control anyone, I just want to… not be caught up in everything. I want to feel like I belong to myself.”

Kagami took her by the good arm. A little possessively, maybe, but not controllingly. “If you want to have me as your soulmate, I won’t stop you. I’ll help you try if you want.”

Marinette slowly broke into a gorgeous smile, one that was genuine and deep and grateful throughout. “I don’t even know how we’ll try,” she said, almost laughing.

“The important part is to try at all,” said Kagami.

And then they walked to Kagami’s house together, on the first day where they fully belonged to themselves.