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He knew it’d spill eventually.
He knew he wouldn’t have been able to hold it back for much longer.
Delicate gazes, bright smiles, fingertips ever-so-slightly brushing against the chipped tablewood, getting closer and closer. He craved for the chatter of the restaurant to spill over his eardrums and blanket him in an ignorant hole of nothingness, or for the floor to envelop him whole and suck him into the ground, never letting him back out to see the light of day.
But of course that wouldn't happen, and instead he sat there sipping, louder than necessary and entirely on purpose, on his straw as it dwindled between his thumb and index finger, eyes scanning every inch of the brown-coloured drink below him. The sound of his foot tapped rhythmically against the floor, thrumming loudly amongst the clash of plates and laughs, an agitated gesture echoing his internal growing frustration at the sight in front of him.
He didn’t come here to watch some random guy flirt with Shadow.
“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Shadow.” The man drawled out, earning a glance up from Sonic as they made brief eye contact.
He looked about a few years older, and unfortunately, anyone with eyes was able to tell he was pretty damn attractive. Flashy smile, bold body language, and green eyes set perfectly centred to his face, all symmetrical-like and inviting to none the wiser. A smug, charismatic smirk drew across his face, and Sonic, for the life of him, couldn’t help the not-so-subtle scoff that erupted from his throat, nor the eye-rolls that he had constantly engaged in throughout the conversation (if you could even call it that, since Sonic may as well have been a fly perched on the other end of the table).
Whoever this guy was— tantalising and too close— he etched on Sonic’s nerves and burned that low fuel in his stomach, unlike anything had ever before. Not even out-of-stock chilli-dogs, an unusually personal quip from Eggman, or being plummeted into water could even compare to the inner turmoil he was feeling towards the man in front of him. Even more so when he noticed that Shadow, as usually indifferent, sharp-witted and broody as he was, didn’t immediately brush him off. He just sat there, tolerating it so casually, and it confused, no, frustrated , Sonic to no end.
“You’re quite attractive.”
Sonic huffed another laugh through his nose, lifting his eyes from where he stared down at the drink mindlessly swirling below him, feigning deep interest in the melting ice cubes that ran within it. Anything to keep him from glaring daggers at how close the guy had leaned in towards Shadow. Anything.
He watched the peculiar way Shadow’s eyebrow had twitched, a small grunt coming from the other with the fold of his arms across his chest, as stoic as ever. But Sonic already knew that.
“Careful, dude. He bites.” Sonic played off, leaning back with his arms crossed behind his neck, pushing down that low seething sensation to the back of his head, hopefully away from the pit of his stomach where it seemed keen to travel. Amusedly, Sonic relished in the immediate warning glare he received from Shadow, finally capturing his attention, and gave him a wink.
His ears twitched towards the man who had simply laughed it off, assuming it was a joke and totally not shrouded with distaste. A hand came up to wave him off before resting against his cheek, gaze heeded once again to the hedgehog beside him, dripping with a sickened type of adoration that made Sonic want to throw up.
“Yeah? I don’t mind a little danger.”
Sonic stiffened, quills bristling slightly in a perked sense of annoyance before he regained himself, a quick recovery as a smile drew across his face in an excellent show of falseness. Shadow’s lips frowned at this, slightly tugging his arms further towards himself in reservation at the man’s comment.
“Tch, sure. ‘Bet you say that right up until he knocks you flat on your ass."
Sonic could practically taste the pettiness on his lips, his snarkiness getting the better of him to affront his unfavourable feelings. Not one part of him could stand it— he knew he had no control over this, that he was being selfish and had no right to intercept any relationships Shadow decided to make, but the plain, awful reality of his own predicament was enough for his resolve to completely unravel. While Shadow and his paths had crossed right into each other from the very beginning, that thin red line tangling them back and forth no matter the circumstances or mishaps, it hadn’t been enough. Rivalry became friendship, a mutuality in their alikeness, but for Sonic, on the other end, it had afflicted him with something deeper. Something raw and unanswered, buried as far as it could go until it became a part of his being without him even realising.
He ached for days on end, tossed and turned in bed at night, and still knew that he had to be content with the way things were. He was lucky enough that Shadow had tolerated him so far as to hang out with him outside of their casual races or spars, and he wasn't about to take any more chances aside from that. But this revelation, this resistance to pursuing more, was not enough to push down Sonic’s possessiveness. Petty at heart and protective in nature, if anyone were to be with Shadow, it wouldn’t be as sleazy as this guy. Someone unable to handle him, match with him, or be on par with him. Someone who couldn’t begin to be compared with or to him. Someone who couldn’t truly understand the beautiful, enamouring, and endearing complexity that was Shadow the Hedgehog.
The black hedgehog himself sighed, rolling his eyes at him, visibly unimpressed by either of them at this point. “You’re being insufferable.”
“Me? I'm just offering a friendly PSA: ‘Stay two feet back from the Ultimate Lifeform unless you got a death wish.’” Sonic laughed, mock-innocence not doing anything to alleviate the tension that had slowly built up around the table. To be fair, he had initially done a good job at maintaining some sort of silence besides the occasional snarky chuckles, huffs, and heavy-handed slams of his drink on the table, so he was proud of himself for even lasting this long.
The flirty guy, or whatever, had curled his eyebrow up at him, head still resting tauntingly on his hand in a relaxed way, body turned mostly towards the object of his affection.
“Wow, protective much?”
Sonic stiffens, mask slipping just a little with the twitch of his lips, trying to will his quills to stop bristling under that shit-eating gaze that lay upon the other man’s features. His hands fell once again to his lap, but, taking as subtle a breath as he could, he shrugged his shoulders, forcing another wide grin across his muzzle.
"Nah. Just saving you from getting your ego shredded."
At this, Shadow seemed to perk up, straightening his body with a certain energy or aura to him that hadn’t been there before. Sonic tuned into the twitch of his ear and the confusing stare that had been sent towards him at the comment as if he were picking up on something deeper and dangerous behind Sonic’s words. The blue hedgehog gulped, praying and hoping it wasn’t so obvious and willed himself once again to maintain his composure and relax, not making any further eye contact.
The man had now turned to Shadow, fully ignoring Sonic’s not-so-subtle warnings to back off , grinning at him once again.
“I think I can handle myself.”
His eyes trailed towards and twitched at the way the man’s hand, which had noticeably been lying on the table, began inching towards Shadow’s own in a fashion of flirtatiousness. He bit his bottom lip, tugging at the skin between his teeth.
“Sure you can, tough guy.” He couldn’t help himself, not one bit, and crossed his arms, eyes half-lidded in a show of boredom and annoyance at the other’s presence. The tension is even thicker now, with Shadow sharply glancing at Sonic, who still refuses to make eye contact. His gaze was even more questioning when Sonic began stabbing at the ice cubes in his glass like they were his mortal enemy, but the message of, ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’, clearly wasn’t going to get across, not as long as the other kept avoiding his gaze. Sonic was glad— looking at Shadow was overwhelming and frustrating right now. Not that it was his fault, though.
“What’s his deal, anyway?” The man had now fully turned towards Shadow in a show of even more ignorance, a cheeky glint in his eye that almost made Sonic want the bear some teeth. If he hadn't had at least a little ounce of impulse control, he knew he’d probably just drag Shadow out of the restaurant himself. “Your roommate… or bodyguard?”
Sonic’s lip quirked again— closer than you’ll get, bud— and, chaos, how queasy it felt to see Shadow’s gaze meet the other head-on in a show of contact and intimacy as the other leaned in even closer.
“More like a pain in my backside.” His voice remained as blunt as ever, his facial expression as unchanged as Sonic was used to, but this time with a playful lilt to his tongue. He glanced over at Sonic in amusement, to which he tutted before huffing out a laugh and taking another long sip of his drink.
The guy chuckles again, the sound prickly and forced like crazy, leaning forward on his elbow and not getting the hint. His other hand had tapped away at the wood, crossed over on his front as if to taunt him further about his unwanted presence. Seriously, the guy just waltzed over like it was nobody’s business and then started this whole fiasco. Who does that?!
Sonic had never felt himself grow so irate from a simple action, never mind the next words to come out of the man’s mouth.
“Huh. Well... you're not taken, then?" Shadow stiffens at the remark, not answering immediately. At this, the man took it as an invitation to lean closer to Shadow’s ear, and in a low, gravelly, sultry voice, he offered his next words like a little secret only for him, even though Sonic could hear every single word.
“You seeing anyone, Shadow?”
Sonic could feel the air go electric as his fingers twitched, clenching underneath the table as they lay in his lap. The air had hung with a tension unlike any other once again, and his heart began to stutter in his chest, along with a searing hot and sour feeling twisting in his stomach. It became a bitterness so vivid that Sonic could taste it on the tip of his tongue, a relenting reminder of what he was watching unfold across the table in front of him. All the while, he sat amongst the crashing and chatting and laughter of unsuspecting strangers, completely unaware of the inner spiral that coiled in his stomach and made every single one of his bones ache in vitriol and pain. He felt his jaw clench tighter, if it were even anatomically possible, a thousand remarks pressing against the back of his teeth aching to spill out across the air.
“No.” The other had responded so cooly, so unbothered, completely unaware of Sonic’s escalating dry, scalding uncomfortability. Oh please, he had thought, a grossly mocking sort of tone, chaos. The guy had the personality and charm of a wet paper bag. Sonic had seen better teenage rom-coms with more effectiveness and charisma than this. His gracious looks seriously didn’t outshine all of that hot mess, that's for sure.
It was ugly. His thoughts were all and everything ugly, and he had no clue what to call this feeling, or how to even entertain this thought. Was it possessiveness? Was this really because he wanted Shadow to be with someone better than this, even if it wasn’t him? What was he even feeling right now?
“Good. 'Cause I'd hate to step on any toes.”
What did that even mean, anyway? He couldn't help but roll his eyes again and laugh a little too loudly. Shadow glared at him again, but nowhere near with the same annoyance as before— it was a concern. Concern, confusion and overall shock at Sonic’s sour behaviour. It made something ugly twist and curl in his stomach again.
“Yeah, wouldn't want you to get stomped on by accident." Sarcasm dripped from his voice in a way he didn’t think was entirely possible before.
For as cocky as he was, god, he had never felt like this in his life. Either this man was incredibly good at getting under someone’s fur, or it was just him. Probably both. He watched the guy grin wider at the intrusion. A sly, knowing kind of grin, akin to a wolf scenting blood. Sonic gulped, heart picking up at the sight.
“You jealous or something, blue guy?”
The words fell from his tongue slick with disastrous amusement, leaning back casually in his chair as if he had just uncovered the juiciest secret in the room. Sonic felt a burning heat climb up his neck, pricking and tugging at his skin, anger and embarrassment crashing together in a chaotic, acidic wave. The world felt too small and too loud at once, a simultaneous mixture of vulnerability, the sounds of the cluttering and chatting blending together— it all pressed in, and Sonic felt so exposed. He felt raw , as if everyone could see an underlying, private part of him, stripped him bare of his skin and protection, his facade of relaxation and cockiness, and everyone could see him. They could see the way his hands continued to twitch in his lap, knuckles whitening, heavy with the fact that he didn’t know what to do with the urge to grab Shadow and hold on.
He leans forward, arms braced against the table as if it would anchor him and keep him stable, but it is futile in thought. The feelings that had surged in Sonic— jealous, jealous, was this actually jealousy?— had made him sick, so sick that the pooling sensation in his stomach grew quickly along with the rapid tap of his foot. His suppression, in a burst of frustration, made him lift himself from the chair, the table shaking a little with its dramatic nature, as he mustered out the most mock-sweet tone he could ever create from his vocal cords.
“Jealous? I just hate seeing someone bark up a tree they're never gonna climb.”
Shadow opens his mouth, likely to utter a ‘Stop it, Sonic,’ but Sonic’s already moving, not even batting an eye. He shoves his chair back, legs scraping harshly against the tile, rattling his eardrums as if enforcing a sensory overload would overwhelm his already escalating feelings.
“Where are you going?” Shadow half-yelled out at him instead, eyebrows furrowing and the slit in his eyes closing further. Sonic watched as his counterpart tried to stand up, but waved him off with his gloved hand, again slipping back into what he knew best— a cover.
“Out,” He muttered, awfully uncharacteristically as he had been this entire evening, and began walking away. “Got a race to win. Or lose. Whatever. Have a nice date, Shads.”
He didn’t wait for a response, nor did he care if he made an incredible scene. He only stomped out into the brisk evening air, heart bruising against his rib cage as he just ran. Ran to wherever his legs would take him, sprinting into the evening for all he cared. He just knew, knew that Shadow was smart enough to figure out what that whole thing was about, and knew the outcome wouldn’t be great.
If there were any time Sonic would want to bury himself or burrow himself deep into the oceanic floor, it would be now.
…
It wasn’t Shadow’s responsibility to bear the weight of his unreciprocated feelings, and he knew that, he thought to himself, as he sat on the edge of a cliff, looking over at the glistening waters as a delicate breeze brushed across his quills, the tranquil atmosphere directly contradicting his inner dilemma.
Fuck, he let it spill.
He watched Shadow’s angry, annoyed and oddly deflated expression as he left him at the table and beelined for the door. Guilt had scraped at his insides the further the sun had reached the horizon and bathed the sky in a pretty orange-lilac, embarrassed at the thought of himself reacting so instinctually, so embarrassingly, to something he had no say in at all. The guy had just asked a question to a person whom he correctly assumed was single and took the opportunity to flirt more– it had nothing to do with him. But he couldn’t help himself, could he? Because the same as his legs, Sonic’s words ran out of his mouth before he could even begin to process them. He couldn't have kept his mouth shut, kept his emotions stable and just let things happen, no— he was the most idiotic, ridiculous and immature thing alive, as well as the fastest.
Shadow totally knew, and all Sonic could mull over was what excuses he could find for his outbursts as soon as he saw him again. He knew he’d have to look at those angry, glaring eyes that scorned him for interrupting something that was anything but his business and fumble false reasons across his tongue as quickly as he could as a way to redeem himself, trying to reassure him it was totally from a platonic place and not one of disgusting, uncharacteristic jealousy. He wasn’t anywhere near ready for it.
Even sat upon this peaceful hilltop, with no rearing eyes to see for god-knows-how-long he’s been here, he felt exposed. Every emotion that travelled through his body felt like they were slipping out of his pores one by one into the air around him, and really, it was kind of pathetic.
Sonic thought he was so cool, and now, all he felt like was the worst friend on the entire planet. He let some irrelevant, unrequited, messy feelings get in the way of the relationship he had fought so hard for to get to this point. He felt weak and hated himself for it. For everything.
He violently rubbed his palms against his cheeks, knees tucked up towards his chest. He needed to apologise, do anything, find him and plead that he didn't hate him again, but chaos, his heart ached. It wasn’t the first time he had felt guilty about his romantic feelings. Unspoken words, subtle touches of hands and shoulders, hearts and comforting smiles all lingered in his heart, like a mixed pool of awful confusion. Deep down, amongst all of the overwhelming excitement and joy Shadow had brought to his life, with his striking eyes, speed, personality and banter, he felt so guilty. Guilty for having to pretend that every time Shadow’s lips rarely slipped a smile out, no matter how big or small, he didn't want to lean forward and smile against them as their hands intertwined.
His hands clasped around his quills atop his head. It hurt. It hurt so very much, and Sonic hated facing these feelings. What happened to shutting them away? What happened to pretending everything was fine, that everything would be okay, that Shadow would never find out, and he could live watching him daily from afar—
He had happened. He had let it spill, and now, the downfall was all in his own hands, like liquid slipping through his fingers. He began to feel hopeless at being able to cup it inwards, hold it up and drink it back in before the whole thing was gone. It was over. There was nothing left to hold, not now that it was all on the ground below him, for everyone to see and ponder over. For Shadow to witness and turn his back in disgust. All Sonic could do was kneel next to it. Kneel next to the mess he made and pray he could grasp something left of it again one day.
The imagery made him crumble and shatter, even the sight of the imaginary Shadow’s muzzle scrunching up in a show of distaste being enough to clench his heart and shoot electricity down his arms, enough to make him recoil. How long would he have to sit here on this ledge, lamenting over everything that happened, before he curled in on himself entirely and wished the ground to swallow him whole?
He felt so pathetically in love, so enamoured by someone who saw him so differently, he felt his resolve dissolve. But, it turns out, he truly didn’t have to wait long in the grass that spread below his figure and brushed against his ankle when he heard that familiar crackle, a sound that drew him in immediately enough that his quills bristled up, a dreadful fear cooling his bloodstream.
Shadow.
“Sonic.”
It was sharp. Commanding. Enough to split the calm silence into cracked pieces, breaking it entirely as the birds no longer chirped happily. Instead of being free like them, Sonic had suddenly become caged in that low, growling voice, with no escape and no way out. He felt like a hamster in a wheel that wouldn’t move, aching to run his legs and exercise as much energy out of himself as possible, but being put in a position where everything was unwilling to move. Even his own legs didn’t agree with him. He couldn’t get himself to turn towards the direction of the heartbreaking sound— only flinch and tuck his knees closer to his chest, a pathetic attempt at protecting himself from deepening that ache in his chest or the pit in his stomach.
“Are you done sulking yet?” He huffed, moving to sit next to him, the proximity making Sonic’s skin sting. He wanted out, he wanted to breathe— do anything, but god, how could he? Not when Shadow had just sat next to him, his knee slightly brushing against his and he knows— he totally, absolutely knows—
And Sonic, of course, just needed to pretend. ‘Fake it ‘till you make it,’ as they always say. Like he always did. He needed to break through this and do anything to deviate. Anything to prevent it from being said out loud.
Whatever it was to dispel the truth, to get everything to return to normal, he’d do it in an instant. He lifted his head from where it lay on his arms above his knees, and let it fall behind him, another fake show of cockiness as he leaned back on them.
“Aw, did I ruin your fun night out, Shads? I’m sorry.”
Ok. He didn’t intend for that to sound as sarcastic as it did. He really felt bad for ruining the night, especially since Sonic was the one to suggest dinner. But god, the lilt in his voice had just stuck, and he felt awful. He added a small, pained laugh at the end to lighten the tone, hopefully making it sound like it was entirely a joke.
Shadow blinked at him, slow and deliberate, arms crossed now. His face was entirely unreadable aside from the flick of his ears and the small twitch at the corner of his mouth— not amusement, something sharper.
“Sonic, you’re being idiotic.” He grumbled, eyebrows furrowing at him, the lilt of his voice proving that Sonic had grated on his nerves. Great. This was going wonderfully.
With an exasperated sigh, completely and entirely at himself, Sonic ran another stressed hand through his quills, now even more unorganised and messy than before Shadow appeared.
“Why did you come find me?”
He spared a glance at Shadow again, not even wanting to think of how pretty and attractive he looked at that moment, the way his fur shone under the sky and how striking his eyes were even as their surroundings grew darker by the second. It hurt. Everything hurt, and all Sonic could do, all he would ever do, was sit here and joke around, pretending nothing was ever that serious and he’d be okay no matter the outcome.
“Because I can't stand it when you walk away from me.” The words came out gruff, bordering on raw and emotional in a way only Shadow could muster, seeming to bite back something underneath the surface. Sonic’s heart stopped, completely unmatching the slight shake in his hands until he realised he had interpreted it wrong. That the meaning behind it wasn't of something tender and close, it was more of annoyance, and that tugged at his heartstrings even more. He looked away, not being able to face that Shadow, indeed, never wanted to chase him, just hated being left in the dust.
So, he played it off, like there wasn't a heavy lump sitting in his throat.
“Tch. ‘Course you can't. I’d miss me too.” He chuckles, hollow, lightly punching Shadow in the chest. But the grin came out all shaky and wet, limp in its appearance, and a second later he’s fisting the grass below him like he’ll fall apart if he doesn't.
“Quit playing around. You know what I meant.” Shadow gritted his teeth, lightly pushing Sonic’s arm so he’d look at him again, a dull, stunted aggression in body language. He was frustrated, Sonic could tell, but at what exactly? At what, apart from the fact that he now knows the reality of Sonic’s feelings and how petty he really can be?
He froze at the tone of the other, body shooting upwards and stiff. He felt the breath catch in his throat again, the cocky mask crumbling a little around the edges once more. He willed himself to look away again, off to the side, anywhere but Shadow, fists clenching at his sides still.
Sonic muttering, almost to himself, gulped, feeling unsteady at the idea of having to give in to everything he’s been too scared to say. “Yeah. I know.”
“Then stop running.” A soft tone edged onto the stern voice, going recognised by Sonic entirely, and he closed his eyes at the sound, tight and restricted. The air stilled a little as Sonic tried not to focus on the feeling of their legs brushing against each other.
Sonic shook his head, jaw clenching tighter. “You don't get it.”
“Then make me understand.” The reply was almost instant and pressing, and Sonic swore he felt Shadow lean forward. A slight irritation scratched at his insides— what exactly did Shadow want from him? He knew, there was no way he didn’t, so what was he playing at?
"I can't... Look-" With a sigh and another shaky hand from his quills, Sonic choked the words out as best as he could. “I’m sorry, Shadow,” He looked at him now, lips flattening at the sight of Shadow’s shocked expression. “It wasn’t my place.”
“You idiot,” Shadow hissed, a replica of his earlier statement, with a stern shake of his head, inching closer. “You think I’d entertain someone like that?”
Sonic scoffed before laughing bitterly, stopping the eye-roll that half tempted to come out at the statement. “You weren’t exactly throwing him off.”
“I didn’t have to,” he began, the determined and certain gruff of his voice being enough for Sonic’s eyes to meet his own again. “Because he didn’t matter.”
Sonic’s eyes widened as their breaths tangled, fast and shallow. Shadow was so, so close now, shoulders nearly touching and muzzles almost bristling against each other as if they were crossing that line that somehow always remained between them. He looked into Shadow’s eyes, ones of such earnestness and vulnerability, wanting to push this conversation further. He had pried open Sonic’s walls with only the clasp of his one gloved hand, ticking at those nerves he knew he’d get an answer out of. Sonic felt completely unravelled in front of Shadow— himself, open and bare, and whether or not that was a good thing was another question. He didn’t know if he appreciated the spark of electricity that shot up his arms at their touch, or the thud of his heart in his chest, deafening him into a state of speechlessness. Where was this even going? Why was Shadow so close, so insistent on tearing Sonic open for him to see?
He was reeling, and all Shadow could do was stare him down until he responded. Sonic distantly wondered if Shadow knew at all the effect he had on him.
“Then what does?” He questioned, voice shaky and yet stubborn, that frustration slipping out of his lips. If Shadow seriously knew, if he really knew and was doing all of this— affecting Sonic in such a peculiar and extreme way— as some sick kind of revenge for intercepting him, then this— this-this was—
Sonic tried pushing the thought down. Shadow, as rough as he acted and looked, was never as cruel as that, and that’s what made Sonic so enamoured by him. It was that exterior that held oceans and oceans of inner emotional turmoil and sensitivity, a beautiful being inside and out, quite truly. Sure, he was blunt and abrasive at times, but underneath all that, Shadow only did what was best; he only acted on what he knew was right, what he knew he wanted and what was for the best, and it’s something Sonic deeply admired. That capacity to be both stern and caring in such a flat stare, evident through a slight crease near his eye that Sonic obviously hadn’t had to stare at him on multiple occasions to figure out, made his stomach flip and twist. It was more than likely that he didn’t have a single idea that being this close would make Sonic fold beside him, dense and as emotionally constipated as ever, even if he did know the reality of Sonic’s feelings. Shadow did everything from a place of sincerity.
So, his next words had, as only a few words may explain such an intense reaction, shaken Sonic to his core.
“You," Shadow said finally. Quiet. Rough. Like dragging broken glass over skin. "You always have."
Sonic’s mouth went completely dry as he stared at Shadow in pure awe. He wanted to joke, snark back, deflect or laugh it off— but he couldn’t . He couldn’t move, couldn’t think for the life of him, jolting when Shadow spoke up again.
“You don’t have to be jealous, Sonic.” Shadow’s voice came out steady, low, and certain, eyes not once moving from Sonic’s own as if he were studying every inch of his facial expressions. He opened his mouth, then shut it again, because goddamn it, of course, he knew, like Sonic had thought, and goddamn it, he was right. He didn’t have to be—no, he shouldn’t be, not towards Shadow. His feelings had no place between them, no right to be lingering and festering and—
The darkness that swarmed in his chest came to a halt when Shadow reached a gloved hand upwards to cup Sonic’s muzzle, thumb tracing slightly underneath him as he lifted Sonic’s head, guiding him closer towards him. Sonic became even more cornered than before, but the buzzing in his limbs, the painful way his heart picked up the pace against his ribcage, had made him feel dizzy and free. He felt as though he were short-circuiting, dreaming this conversation in its entirety, but that brush against his fur, the warmth that radiated from Shadow’s palm, and the breath that brushed the small air between them made Sonic certain that it was real. That this was happening. That, for whatever reason, Shadow had just laid a gentle hand on his cheek and jaw so intimately that it made him tremble.
“You— Shadow, I—” Sonic tried, but when Shadow ran the thumb back and forth in a quick motion, he found himself unable to speak over the stutter of his own heart. He huffed a laugh out nervously, trying to calm it, trying to keep his reeling emotions at bay at what was happening and provide his head with enough clarity to wash away the fogginess that took hold. “Okay. You got me. You win.” It came out so weak, hardly above a whisper, all strangled and raw and full of unspoken emotion. He watched Shadow’s gaze soften, a small smile quirking at his lips, enough to send Sonic back into overdrive as he licked his own lips.
“No.”
Sonic broke out of his daze, eyes snapping open a little. “What—”
“I want you to say it, Sonic. Tell me.”
Oh, this bastard. He said it so gently and insistently, still not looking away from Sonic, but when his eyes flicked down to Sonic’s lips for a brief moment before coming back upwards, he felt himself choke. He gulped again, swallowing around the heart in his throat for what felt like the twentieth time, opening and closing his mouth before huffing out a breathy laugh again.
“You—” Sonic stuttered. “You’re the worst.”
“Sonic.” Shadow’s eyes became lidded again, voice firm and in warning, as if reprimanding Sonic for even attempting to slip back into his usual persona as a way to avoid saying anything. Sonic felt so dizzy at stating his next words, but the palm against his cheek grounded him. Kept him stable— inflicting him with enough confidence to choke it out. Looking away, he finally said it.
“I’m in love with you.”
The words electrified in the small air between their mouths, buzzed and brushed against the other’s muzzle in a way so endearing, so vulnerable, that Sonic felt his fight or flight pick up. There it was, laid open and bare with nothing left to hide behind, and he forced himself to look at Shadow’s reaction, only to find—
That he looked at Sonic like he was the most important thing in the damn universe.
He marvelled at him, at the gentle smile that graced his lips he’d been dying to see since the first time he managed to will it out of the other, but this time it was different. It was love and calm, it was flowers and fresh air, it was clean bed sheets and cold pillows— it was everything comforting. It was absolutely enthralling.
Shadow didn’t even hesitate. He closed the gap between them, his other hand finding purchase on Sonic’s waist as it travelled up his leg with the motion, and Sonic felt like he was going to die. The lips that pressed against him, warm and inviting and everything Shadow, had sent him into pure shock and disbelief. The first touch was hardly there— just a ghost of a brush, a shared breath, a promise. Sonic’s heart stumbled once again, thudding widely and reeling, reeling, and something deep inside of him, something that had wound deep in his stomach and heart, finally began to unwind. It was slow, it was deep, it was pulling apart and putting each other back together at the same time. There was nothing frantic, nothing rushed, just a gentle, inevitable pull of gravity between them both. Nothing hungry, nothing desperate— it was worse; it was reverent, patient, unbearably sweet, like they had all the time in the world to memorise the feeling of each other.
Sonic’s hand found itself at the back of Shadow’s head, fingers curling into the quills, head tilting to the side as he pushed deeper. Shadow had tilted into it, starved for more, aching and soft all at once. The kiss deepened even more naturally, like breathing, like slipping into something vivid and real, thrilling in its tenderness. Every movement, every sigh, every shaky exhale felt like years of wanting finally being answered in a language only known to them. It felt like yearning, needing, and god, if Sonic didn’t let out a slightly embarrassing exhale at the way Shadow’s hand shifted towards his lower back, pulling him in closer, he’d think he was crazy.
When they finally pulled apart, barely, just enough to rest their foreheads against each other, neither of them spoke. There was nothing left to say. It was all there—thrumming between them, between their picked-up breaths, the weight of everything they held back, now laid bare in a kiss that tasted of everything he had ever hoped for.
...
“Took you long enough, huh?” He couldn’t help himself, impulsive and prone to joking around as always.
“I was waiting for you to grow a spine.” Shadow quipped dryly, noticeably circling a loose arm around Sonic’s waist in the process. Sonic leaned on him, relishing in the other’s relaxing warmth, brushing down the adrenaline high that their kiss had formed within him.
“Pfft. I got a spine! You just like making everything complicated.”
“You’re the one who stormed out like a dramatic child.”
Sonic yelped an offended sort of noise, sitting up a little to look at Shadow with a wide stare. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have if you weren’t too busy being flirted with by Mr. Cringe.” He deadpanned, eyelids flitting downwards.
Shadow gave him the biggest eye roll ever, shaking his head fondly. He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by Sonic’s brazen act. “I didn’t see you stopping him. Too busy sulking.”
“I was being polite! Didn’t wanna bruise your ego or reputation or whatever.”
“Only you would call that being polite.” He huffed a version of a laugh, then tugged Sonic closer with a sweet sort of look in his eye.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You still love me.” He grinned, smugly nuzzling against Shadow’s shoulder as if to solidify his point. He felt Shadow huff a laugh out again above him, picturing that fond smile on his face again.
“You’re so annoying.”
Sonic smiled, laughing once again at the gruff, stern voice. “Eh, I’m your problem now, though. Guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”
.....