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“Hey, Buck?”
Buck’s head snapped up from where he was tying his shoes, a grin springing to his face as Eddie approached. Eddie hadn’t been back from Texas long– only a few weeks– but Buck still got a weird feeling in his stomach every time he saw him. Something longing, something bittersweet, something he couldn’t quite identify.
“Buck?”
Right. He had just been staring at Eddie without actually saying anything.
….Again.
“Yeah! Uh, what’s up?” he stammered out, returning to his shoes when Eddie’s smile became too bright to continue looking at.
Eddie’s shuffling footsteps were loud in the otherwise quiet room, the man approaching until they were toe to toe. Glancing up with a raised eyebrow, Buck took in the way Eddie was nervously twisting his fingers with his shoulders raised up by his ears.
“Everything alright?” he asked carefully, gesturing towards Eddie’s hands.
Nodding, Eddie took a deep breath. “Would you… Chris was telling me about this butterfly garden that’s opening for the summer. Do you want to go?”
Buck frowned, unsure why that would have Eddie nervous. “That sounds great!” he said brightly, “want to go this weekend? When is Christopher hanging out with Denny, again? Are they even open on Sundays?”
“I was thinking we could go with– just us!” Eddie rushed out, taking a deep breath at the end.
“Okay…” Buck said slowly, finally rising with his duffle bag over his shoulder. “When do you want to go, then?”
A sigh of relief left Eddie, his shoulders settling back to a normal position. “Maybe Saturday morning? Christopher gets back from Hen and Karen’s at around 5, that should give us time to go there and maybe… lunch, after? It’s near a park, we could do a picnic.”
Buck snorted, nudging Eddie in the shoulder with his fist as he went by. “Yeah, a picnic sounds great. What, you tryna wine and dine me?”
“Something like that,” Eddie muttered. Buck furrowed his eyebrows, turning back to Eddie to question him only to find the man fixated on his phone, the corners of his lips curled up. He must have misheard.
“You coming or what?” Buck teased, jerking his head towards the parking lot.
“Nah,” Eddie responded, flicking his eyes up from his phone briefly to smile at Buck, “I’ve got some planning to do.”
Which– fair. They had mostly been carpooling since Buck was still living at South Bedford Street, but Eddie’s schedule was still getting back to normal since his return and he had come into the shift a couple hours later than everyone else.
Buck rolled his eyes at his friend, trudging off to the parking lot on his own. Eddie was a weird guy, but Buck was pretty fond of him regardless. Very fond, even. Maybe kind of obsessed, if you asked Maddie. Not that Buck ever did.
If the guy wanted to go to a butterfly garden and have a picnic, who was Buck to disagree? Eddie had been trying to do things just for the sake of having fun recently, and he had been dragging Buck along to a lot of them. Besides, this one was right up his alley unlike all the various sporting events he had been brought to. Seriously, Eddie, tennis?
Buck had just been ranting to Eddie and Christopher about the various native butterflies in LA after finding a caterpillar outside, so this was coming at a perfect time.
Settling behind the wheel of his Jeep, Buck sighed deeply, resting his forehead against the wheel for a moment before turning the key in the ignition. As happy as he was to have Eddie back– and truly, he had been overjoyed for the last few weeks– it was just a constant reminder of how shaken his worldview had been when Tommy had not-so-kindly dusted off the feelings for Eddie that Buck had apparently always had in the back of his mind.
He couldn’t even find it in himself to be upset about the fact that he was in love with his straight best friend. Really it was the highlight of his life, getting to love Eddie. He may never be with Eddie in that way, but he still got to see the man every morning, cook alongside him, work with him, parent a child with him.
There wasn’t anything in the world Buck would trade that for. Well, besides actually getting to be with Eddie, but– there was no chance of that.
Before long, Buck was pulling into the driveway– his driveway; it was his house too, as Eddie so frequently reminded him.
The house was dark, Christopher already asleep in his room. Buck opened the front door quietly, sneaking down the hall towards Eddie’s room– their room? He still wasn’t quite clear on that.
They had started sharing the bed one week after Eddie’s return. The other man had noticed Buck was limping a bit, his leg stiff after so many nights on the couch, and had demanded Buck sleep in the bedroom and he take the couch.
Naturally, Buck refused to let Eddie sleep on the couch, so Eddie proposed something else– they share the bed.
Not great for Buck’s heart, but fantastic in every other way. It was possibly the best sleep he had ever gotten. Getting to sleep in Eddie’s bed with him knowing Christopher was down the hall was everything he had ever dreamed of. He woke up every morning tangled with the other man, legs and arms splayed out everywhere.
It was perfect. It wasn’t enough.
Buck shook himself off and flopped face first into the bed, Eddie’s woody cologne filling his nose. He would need to get on his side of the bed before Eddie got home, but for now… Buck dug his nose further into the pillow, his eyes closing. A feeling like a comforting blanket settled over him, almost as if Eddie was actually there.
Was it silly that he missed the man already, not even half an hour after leaving him at the firehouse? Probably. Buck groaned softly, finally rolling onto his own side of the bed, his eyes catching on the photo on his nightstand. He couldn’t hold in his smile at it, a candid photo Hen had taken of him, Eddie, Maddie, and Christopher laughing together at one of Bobby and Athena’s barbecues a few days after Eddie had come home.
The sound of muffled footsteps in the hallway had him perking up, Eddie’s scuffing steps recognizable to him no matter how quietly the man tried to walk. Buck quickly straightened out Eddie’s pillow, not wanting him to realize that Buck had been on his side of the bed and start asking questions. He flopped back over, facing away from the door with the blanket pulled haphazardly over him.
“Buck?” Eddie whispered, closing the door softly behind him. “You still up?”
Buck rolled his eyes, unable to hold in a quiet laugh. “You left maybe five minutes after me; yes I’m still awake.”
There was some rustling as Eddie changed into his clothes, his returning snort of laughter muffled behind his shirt as it went over his head. “Yeah, yeah. So, would you– do you want to wait until this weekend to–” he cut himself off with a frustrated huff, and Buck furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
Wait until the weekend to what? Was there something Buck had forgotten?
Not wanting Eddie to think he hadn’t been paying attention, Buck rushed to respond, “Whatever you want works for me! You know me, Eddie, just happy to be here!”
There was a moment of silence during which Buck contemplated everything he had ever said, and then Eddie was coming around the bed.
“Buck?” Eddie said softly, voice oddly serious. “I want your thoughts on it, too. I don’t want you to just– do whatever you think I want.”
Shit. What was he talking about?
“I want the same thing as you!” Buck squeaked out, smiling up at Eddie as normally as he could manage.
That seemed to be all it took, as a nervous smile graced Eddie’s face at the words. “Yeah?” he asked in a whisper, his voice oddly… shy?
Buck nodded, the motion filled with false confidence. “Now, are you getting in bed or what?” he teased, patting the bare mattress beside him. Eddie narrowed his eyes at Buck playfully, circling back around the bed to get under the covers. Buck rolled over, his gaze tracking Eddie as the man got comfortable. The dim light of the room didn’t allow him to see Eddie as clearly as he would have liked, but at the same time it almost made the moment feel more romantic.
Not that it was! Just two bros, sharing a bed. And one of them was madly in love with the other.
Sighing softly, Buck closed his eyes and rolled back over, determined to push those thoughts away and get some good rest.
Eddie did not seem intent on allowing that to happen, though, as Buck soon found himself with an arm around his waist, his best friend plastered along his back and snuffling contently into his neck. It was… nice, honestly. Eddie was a comforting line of heat along his back, offsetting how chilly Buck always got at night. As nice as it was, though, Buck couldn’t figure out why it was happening.
“Uh… Eddie?” Buck started carefully, head tilting downward to catch sight of his arm– and yeah, definitely holding him. Huh.
“Yeah?” Eddie asked, his body freezing behind Buck. “Sorry, too much?” His arm was stiff and raised slightly, no longer the comforting grip it had been moments before.
“No!” Buck rushed out, grasping awkwardly at Eddie’s hand with his own, his elbow twisting. “You’re fine! Just– surprised me, that’s all.”
Understatement of the century. Buck’s spine tingled pleasantly as Eddie resettled his arm, the skin of his wrist brushing against Buck’s stomach where his shirt had ridden up. If questioning it was going to run the risk of Eddie moving away, Buck would just have to go along with it. Not that he was complaining, really.
With Eddie cuddled against him, Buck settled in for the best sleep he had had in– ever, probably.
The next morning, Buck woke to find Eddie already gone.
Thankfully, he didn’t have time to worry– the door opened almost immediately after he registered Eddie’s absence, the man in question coming into the room with a plate of breakfast and a bright smile on his face.
Buck eyed the eggs on the plate suspiciously, his gaze flicking up to Eddie’s face. “You haven’t poisoned those, have you?” he teased, sitting upright as Eddie came closer.
“Good morning to you, too,” Eddie snarked, placing the eggs unceremoniously on Buck’s nightstand. “Why would I poison your food?”
“Oh, not intentionally!” Buck said, digging into the food eagerly, his words muffled. “Just– you know how you are in the kitchen.”
He grinned through a mouthful as Eddie grumbled incoherently, the man crossing his arms petulantly as he watched Buck eat. “Eat quick,” he said, the edges of his mouth pulling up into a smile, “Christopher asked if you can be the one to take him to school today.”
Coughing around his mouthful of bacon, Buck swung his legs over the side of the bed, glancing at the alarm clock on Eddie’s nightstand. Naturally, Eddie had decided to tell him that with five minutes to get up and get ready to go. It was like the man had some personal vendetta against Buck looking put together while dropping Christopher off.
Scarfing down the rest of his food, he dropped the plate onto his nightstand to be dealt with later, rushing around the room for some fresh clothes.
“3 minutes, Buck!” Eddie called teasingly, reclined against the doorframe as if the whole situation was funny to him– and of course it was. Buck rolled his eyes as he ripped his shirt off, extending his arm to shake his fist at Eddie, the fabric fluttering weakly in his grasp. “You think this is funny now, Eddie, but just you wait until I get home!”
“Yeah?” Eddie replied, a smirk growing on his face, “What’s gonna happen when you get home?”
Buck flushed, his mind spinning with the implications, with the way Eddie was smirking at him, as if he meant for Buck to think–
“Gotta go!” Buck said too loudly, pulling on a random shirt from the dresser, his ears burning as he realized it was one of Eddie’s old LAFD shirts. It was like he could feel the printed DIAZ on the back of the shirt dragging across his shoulders as he pulled on shoes, grabbing his wallet with one hand while he fixed the laces with the other.
Eddie snorted out a quiet laugh as Buck stumbled around the room, patting at every surface in search of the keys to his Jeep. “Buck,” the man said kindly, resting a hand on his shoulder– and when had he gotten that close, anyway?– “they’re in the bowl by the door. Where they always are.”
“Right,” Buck sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’ll be back soon, then.”
“Drive safe,” Eddie said softly, his eyes tracking over Buck’s face, his hand still on Buck’s shoulder preventing him from actually going to the bedroom door.
“Of course,” Buck said easily, his eyebrows furrowing at the way Eddie’s gaze had drifted down, moving slowly over the fit of the shirt on Buck’s shoulders–admittedly a bit tight. “Promise I won’t stretch your shirt too much.”
Eddie hummed wordlessly in response, finally stepping back to allow Buck out of the bedroom.
Weird.
The rest of the day was pretty normal, with the exception of the strange looks he got from Cheryl and Sarah at the drop-off line– not that he minded weird looks, honestly, when the alternative was the blatant flirting they had been subjecting him to for the last few weeks.
Eddie had been quietly pleased all day, but he had been in a better mood than Buck was used to ever since his return from Texas, so that wasn’t exactly unusual.
Sighing, Buck dropped onto the couch in Eddie’s– their– living room. Eddie’s couch again, thankfully; his own had been put in storage for when he eventually moved out. Which was going to happen… eventually.
Buck shook his head, focusing back on the tv– while Eddie and Christopher were in LA he had acquired the habit of watching a few episodes of mediocre Food Network shows every Friday, and he somehow hadn’t broken the routine yet– though Eddie and Chris had been joining him more often than not.
Today, however, Eddie wasn’t watching with him. Buck could faintly hear dishes clinking together in the kitchen as Eddie stirred something. He had been doing that a lot recently– cooking. Apparently he had taken a liking to it at some point over one of their many FaceTime cooking sessions, and he was determined to make all the recipes he had learned in Texas for Buck now that he was back.
Not that Buck was complaining, really; Eddie had gotten good at cooking, no matter how much Buck liked to tease.
As if Eddie had heard him and wanted to prove him wrong, Buck startled upright at the sound of the smoke detector beeping shrilly. He was standing in the kitchen in a flash, his lips pursing to withhold a laugh at the sight that greeted him.
Eddie was in the frilly pink apron Buck bought him as a gag gift, a raggedy dish towel in his hand that he was waving frantically under the smoke alarm, a pan on the stove in front of him still smoking faintly from the mass of burnt… something… within it.
“Everything alright?” Buck asked as seriously as he could manage, biting his lip at the look Eddie shot him over his shoulder.
“Don’t wanna hear it, Buckley,” Eddie responded, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips despite his words.
Buck grinned, finally letting loose a giggle as he stepped forward, his chest brushing Eddie’s shoulder as he turned the stove off. “You’re a firefighter, Eddie, how did you not think to turn off the stove?” he teased, backing out of Eddie’s space reluctantly.
“I’ve only been a firefighter again for two weeks, so I’m basically still an Uber driver,” Eddie deadpanned, giving one last flap of the dish towel as the smoke detector went blessedly silent. “Thank you for turning the stove off,” he continued, his tone going a bit sheepish, “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”
“Well,” Buck grinned, raising his arms to flex, “it’s a good thing you’ve got a big, strong firefighter around!”
He giggled to himself a bit as he dropped his arms, the sound dying in his chest as he took in the way Eddie’s eyes tracked the movement.
“Yeah,” Eddie murmured, blinking rapidly at Buck with a soft smile on his face, “Good thing. So! What do you say about ordering in?”
Rolling his eyes, Buck snatched a menu for their usual Chinese place off the fridge. “I’d say we don’t have much of a choice,” he teased, stepping into Eddie’s space for just a moment on his way out of the kitchen, flashing him a mischievous grin. “I don’t even know what you were trying to make in here, there’s no way we’re salvaging it.”
“Laugh it up, Buckley,” Eddie griped, nearly plastered to Buck’s side as he followed him into the living room. “Maybe I’ll bring it for our picnic tomorrow just to spite you.”
“You wouldn’t,” Buck gasped in mock betrayal, a hand clutched dramatically to his heart.
“Yeah,” Eddie murmured, his expression softer than Buck expected, “I wouldn’t.”
The next day found Buck waking up with Eddie in his arms, this time. Eddie was scrolling through something on his phone quietly, oblivious to the fact that Buck had woken up behind him. He couldn’t help the warmth that spread in his chest at the realization that the other man was already awake and had chosen to stay.
“Good morning,” Buck whispered, his stomach fluttering at the feeling of the bare skin of Eddie’s neck against his lips as he spoke.
“Morning, Buck,” Eddie responded, turning his head to aim a dopey smile at him. “What time do you want to go to the butterfly garden?”
Buck grinned sleepily, his heart picking up at the reminder. They had done a lot in the name of Eddie’s joy journey, but going to a butterfly house and having a picnic afterwards was by far the most romantic activity yet.
Humming thoughtfully, Buck allowed himself to tighten his grip on Eddie briefly before he rolled over. “Well, do you want breakfast first or do we just want to eat while we’re out?”
“I want to lay in bed for a bit longer,” Eddie grumbled playfully, “but it seems like my blanket would rather get a start on the day.”
Buck felt his face flush, a flustered laugh escaping him without his permission. “No point in waiting! The butterflies might… I don’t know, fly away or something.”
“They’re in a house, Buck,” Eddie deadpanned, his voice fond. “It’s a butterfly house. They aren’t just in a field.”
“Whatever,” Buck said, rolling his eyes as he shoved himself off the mattress. “How about we pick up some of those pastries you like on the way there and have those for our picnic?” Before he could get too far from the bed, a warm palm wrapped around his wrist. Buck spun around at the touch to find Eddie watching him happily, his eyes sparkling as he sat upright on their bed.
“What would I need a pastry for? You’re sweet enough.”
Buck’s face heated even further, the warmth spreading to his ears and down his neck. Did Eddie just– flirt with him?! There was no way.
“Sure, Diaz,” he managed eventually, his voice strained. “Let’s get you fed though or you’ll be cranky all day.”
A pleased smirk tugged at Eddie’s mouth as his eyes darted around Buck’s face, something cocky in the tilt of his lips. Buck turned back around, striding out of the room determinedly before Eddie had the chance to fluster him even further.
Something was going on– he just wasn’t quite sure what.
Looking back, Buck probably should have figured out what it was before they arrived at the butterfly house. Even sitting in the car, his hand clasped in Eddie’s on the center console hadn’t thrown him off. They had always been touchy, what was the harm in holding his best friend’s hand if the man wanted to? Besides the pain of being unrequitedly in love with said best friend, of course.
Except when they arrived at the butterfly house there was a sign outside declaring it to be couples weekend.
Even that hadn’t tipped Buck off, somehow. What did it was–
“Two tickets?”
“Yeah, just my boyfriend and I!” Eddie sounded so casual about it, as if it was something he said frequently– did he say that frequently? Had they been dating and Buck just didn’t know? How long had that been going on?!
Buck followed Eddie– his boyfriend– into the butterfly house in a daze, hardly even taking in the beautiful surroundings. Eddie’s hand was still in his– the other man’s thumb occasionally running along his skin.
The gesture managed to soothe Buck just enough to finally speak up. He cleared his throat softly, debating how to approach the topic– did he go for subtlety? Should he just go along with what was essentially all of his dreams come true and hope Eddie let slip what their actual anniversary was at some point? Did he–
“So, boyfriend?”
Well. That would have to work.
Eddie turned to him innocently, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
“Yeah. Is that– I know we didn’t really talk about labels, so if you would prefer something else–?
“No, Eddie, I… when did we talk about anything?” Buck couldn’t help the way his voice rose at the end, blinking rapidly as he tried to think back to when they had any kind of talk about their relationship.
Eddie’s eyebrows drew closer together, something like hurt brewing in his eyes. “When I asked you out? Buck, seriously– if you didn’t want to go on a date with me–”
“No!” Buck shouted, ducking his head as a worker glared at them. “No,” he continued more softly, squeezing Eddie’s hand tightly when the man tried to pull away, “That’s not what I meant. I meant when did you ask me out?”
A realization dawned on Eddie’s face, his lips pursing to suppress a laugh. “Buck,” he said, his words dripping with amusement, “did you think the last couple days were platonic?”
Blushing furiously, Buck forced himself not to look away. “I guess? I didn’t really want to get my hopes up.”
“Oh, Buck,” Eddie whispered, his lips pursing. “I thought it was obvious how in love with you I am… I didn’t even stop to think that you might take it differently.”
A giggle burst out of Buck’s throat without his permission. Eddie loved him. This was the best day ever. Determined to save face, he rolled his eyes and leaned into Eddie until their shoulders created a comfortable line of heat between them. “You have to be clearer than that with me,” he teased, “I couldn’t risk assuming.”
Eddie stopped suddenly in the slow walk they had been making through the garden, dragging Buck to a halt with him. He released Buck’s hand and stepped back a bit, just enough that Buck was forced to make eye contact.
“I love you, Evan Buckley,” he said, his eyes serious. “You are the second most important person in my life, and I want to wake up beside you every day until I die.”
Buck pressed his lips together, desperately suppressing the tears he could feel forming in his eyes. “Sounds an awful lot like a proposal, Eddie,” he managed, his voice choked, “I love you too.”
“Let me be clear, then. I want to marry you. Some day, at least. If you aren’t ready yet that’s fine, I swear, I just– you should know that. You’re it for me, Buck.”
It was a proposal, then. Right? Buck had been convincing himself for the last few days that he was overthinking everything, but that was pretty concrete. Eddie wanted to marry him. He had chosen a gorgeous place for it, too– they hadn’t looked away from each other much, but Buck allowed his eyes to wander as he thought through Eddie’s words and he found his gaze catching on their surroundings.
Light filtered beautifully through the glass ceiling, catching on the iridescent wings of the butterflies floating through the air around them. They were surrounded by flowers, and butterflies, and sunlight, and–
And Buck could hardly stand to look away from Eddie long enough to take it in.
“I want to marry you, too,” he replied eventually, his voice breathless. “God, Eddie, I– this is all I’ve ever wanted. I can’t believe…”
“Believe it. You’re stuck with me now, Buckley. We can talk about it more later, alright? I don’t want to overwhelm you or anything– let’s just focus on the date.”
“Oh my god we’re on a date!”
Eddie snorted out a laugh, Buck’s heart fluttering like the butterflies’ wings at the objectively unattractive sound. Everything Eddie did was attractive, though, it was like the man was cursed in the best possible way. He wrapped both his arms around one of Eddie’s, smiling to himself as they finally broke their gaze to continue their walk down the path at a more respectable pace. Eddie let out another laugh beside him, as if suddenly realizing something.
“I’m not sure what I was thinking,” he teased softly, “I should have known something was wrong when you didn’t immediately glue yourself to my side like an imprinted duckling.”
Buck scoffed in mock offense, not even bothering to speak up in his own defense. There was no defense, really, not with the way he was plastered along Eddie’s side.
That was alright, though. He could tell by the way Eddie’s free hand covered his that the man didn’t mind– if anything, he would probably complain if Buck were to back away. Content with that knowledge, Buck simply leaned his head onto Eddie’s shoulder as a response. They had all the time in the world to tease each other about their clinginess– after all, now that he knew he had him, Buck was never going to let go of Eddie again.