Chapter Text
When The demon opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a pair of brown eyes, void of emotion. The second thing he saw was that it was his own boyfriend staring at him like he was an abnormality. His face showed panic as he was trying to grasp his thoughts into one place.
Where is he? What is he doing here? Why is juniper looking at him like that? Why is the room so….headache inducing?
Too many questions and not enough answers.
“You think a lot for a demon.” This..juniper said, Eyes crinkling as they wore a rather unnerving smile. Erin tried not to appear panicked as he looked at the other. He wanted to push them away, to run away and find out what happened but something was holding him back. It wasn’t until he looked down did he see it.
*his hand was deep in juniper’s chest, right where their heart is located.*
There was no blood, no sign of injury, nothing. The demon tried to pull his hand out but juniper’s sudden grip on his arm scared the ever living crap out of him. Their grip hurt, *a-lot*. Erin isn’t sure where this sudden strength came from but it sure was keeping his arm where it is.
His lover laughed, amused at his expression. “you can’t take it out. No matter how hard you pull.” Their sentenced ended with longing, most likely tried to take his hand out of their ribs while he was asleep. Erin felt a little stupid asking, but he couldn’t help it. “Does it hurt?..whenever I pull my arm?...” The amused expression left instantly, replacing the somewhat comforting atmosphere with ice cold indifference. hollow eyes dug into his own ‘soul’.
“It hurts so much, but I don’t try to take out your hand.” Their grip weakened, replaced by a gentle hold of his arm. Their fingers brushed over the ring of grip marks on his arm with eyes void of any sort of emotion.
“Taking your hand away would mean you no longer want my heart..that’s a really troubling idea you know.” They spoke casually, as if they weren’t implying Erin would leave juniper if he lets go—or at least tries to let go. This isn’t juniper, He knows this isn’t them because juniper…
Juniper doesn’t have skin so cold to the touch it makes Erin want to shrivel up and die. Juniper’s eyes are always full of light even at their worst. Juniper is his hope, his light in this cruel, cruel world.
But this juniper, this one feels like a corpse.
“You know I would never leave you..no matter the situation.” Erin was honest. Even if juniper beat him to a pulp he wouldn’t do anything because as long as Juniper held admiration and looked at him with those eyes, so soft and tender, then Erin would stay locked in with them. Some would say he had no self respect, but they didn’t understand what he went through, how he only had so, so few people in his life that actually gave a damn about him.
And for juniper to give the most of a damn about him meant he could never lose them.
“Do you really mean that? Or are you bluffing because you know I’ll fall apart?!” They yelled, eyes still so hollow despite the rage they’re forcing into the demon. Their gentle hold turned back into a strong grip, maybe even stronger than last time. Erin let out a yelp, taken aback at how quickly they switched up. It scared Erin, how their eyes showed no sign of life at all.
“If you want me to prove it then you need to let me take out my arm?! I don’t want to keep hurting you..” he muttered, eyes starting to well up with tears due to fear and anxiety. It was rare to have juniper be so..forceful with him. It scared Erin, it scared him to think that Juniper could be hiding this side of themself all along. Even if it wasn’t true, the thought terrified him.
“NO. YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH ME! YOU…you need to..” their fit of rage quelled into soft sobs. They choked back tears,” I don’t want you to leave, I want you to keep me around at all times..”
”that’s why I made sure you could never remove yourself from me.”
…what.
For the first time, Erin began to scream, to thrash around and try his hardest to rip his arm out. The human scarred in return, pain unbearable as Erin tries to remove his limb from his flesh. Juniper’s eyes started to dilate even more, a sensation of liquid comes onto Erin’s arm but there was nothing there.
What the hell is going on?
He started hyperventilating, mind scrambling but had one primary focus in mind: to get out and run.
He was taken out of his thoughts when he was met with a slap on the face.
He shut down,slowly turning to face who he assumes is juniper. Their eyes finally having that sparkle of hope but for all the wrong reasons.
“ you’re keeping me together Erin, you *have* to stay. That’s why you’re holding my heart—so you know that you’re mine and I am your’s.” He sighed and continued, “it was hard to keep this body upright, but your *unwavering admiration* for me is what’s keeping me alive.”
“If you leave I’ll die.”
”and even Satan himself knows what you’ll do if I died.”