Chapter Text
Artoria leaps up to the higher floor, and Mordred goes to the other side.
"…So the traitor returns." Semiramis says as two beasts are summoned and quickly dispatched.
"It's only betrayal if you my had loyalty in the first place." Mordred says back, approaching the poisoner until more beasts are summoned.
Artoria is standing on a rail looking at Kojiro and Musashi.
"…I don't believe we've met. Are you with her?" Artoria asks while gesturing to Semiramis.
"No, in fact I think I'm the Saber that was supposed to replace you for Black. I'm Musashi Miyamoto." She says, prompting Artoria to look at Kojiro before looking away.
'Still recall his face from the prior war…'
"I forgave her."
"…You forgave her? Why? She killed you…I enraged you so badly by claiming you were her!"
"I…It's a bit of a long story…" Musashi says while scratching her cheek.
"Forgiveness is a difficult act. I still haven't forgiven the witch, but the fact she made that outfit earlier is enough to at least begin the process of pardoning what she did to me."
"What did she do to you?" Musashi asks.
"Used a Command Seal to make me carve myself so badly that I felt I was on fire."
"She did what?"
"He was truly a fright to see….his face was so-"
"Medea made you carve up your face?" Musashi asks in a low tone, cutting off Artoria.
"Yes, but looking back I was deserving of at least some- Where are you going dear?" Kojiro asks as Musashi jumps down and starts approaching the prone Caster with both blades drawn.
"Oh no…" Kojiro mutters before jumping down after her.
Artoria considers helping, but realizes Musashi is going after Medea.
Artoria smiles and goes the other way to help her son.
===
Jeanne approaches Father Shirou Kotomine, her flag in hand.
"Darkness should be able to handle the priest. Don't let appearances fool you; she is possibly the most durable woman from that world." Kazuma says.
"I am not doing this to help her." Jeanne says, momentarily surprised when Rin walks with her.
"He has issues with me. Him being focused on me should make it easier for you." She says while picking up a fistful of jewels.
'…Are you trying to woo the guy of questionable morals with a show of strength?' Leticia asks.
'No.'
'Jeanne.'
'Maybe a little…'
'Jeanne…'
'But that is a side thing…I am mostly following Fergus' sage advice.'
'Sage adv-?! The only part of advice he knows is vice! Did you not see him doom humanity to commit constant perversion?!'
'Not that part…the part about enjoying life and seeking it out!' Jeanne thinks back as the priest readies another fist of divine daggers.
'When did he- we ARE the talking about the guy that accidentally fused with the subconscious of humanity by spiritual assault right?…Or is there some other Fergus here I've missed? Or is this another sign? Or do you somehow not know what he just-'
'Yes, I know what he did, we all know what he did, but his questionable appetite for lust aside, he is an inspiration.' Jeanne thinks as she blocks a dozen blades thrown at her.
'…I…There's no words for this…But if you are truly following his 'example' shouldn't you be dragging one or both Kazuma's to an empty room? Preferably including Sieg you naughty Saint?'
'Do not call me that, and I was not speaking about such actions…yet.' Jeanne thinks with a grimace as she stops another blade aimed for Rin as she throws a jewel at the priest. He hits it with the flat of his blade sending it back to Rin. Jeanne stands in front of it as it explodes.
'Then what part?!' Leticia asks with as much calm as she can muster as Jeanne stands now with slightly ripped armor and clothing.
"Why do you stand in my way Ruler? Is this because I refused to take those two idiots?"
"That doesn't help you, but no…I just want to kick a priest's ass~.'" Jeanne answers both with a full smile and a crescent moon of yellow at the bottom of her blue eyes.
'Never expected a Saint to say that…I like her.' Rin thinks with a grin.
'God that's hot…Is this what Cu sees in strong violent women?' Both Kazuma's think with a quick shudder before seeing a needle eyed Musashi approach.
===
"I am not your king!"
"Liar!" Lancelot shouts upon grabbing MHX by the neck.
"I would never lie about being a Saber! I would rather go through the training for space travel again and feel like I am being crushed by truck once more than lie about being one of those deplorable hypocrites!" MHX shouts before smashing Lancelot in his helmed face with the pommel of her sword before kicking him off.
Lancelot stands still a moment, his sword raised before he lowers it and straightens up.
"Oh…it's you MHX…Apologies. You look similar to my King."
"…Apology accepted…but I know how you can better apologize…Follow me~." MHX says with a toothy grin.
===
Medea eventually gets off the ground with a cough, gripping Kazuma's shoulder a moment until she feels the pain from the sucker punch subside. She looks up and sees Musashi approach.
"Is something the-"
"Did you order Kojiro to cut himself in a prior Grail War?" Musashi asks, making Medea and both Kazuma's step back.
"…In my defense he- AH!" Medea flies back, avoiding the fast swing.
"There is no defense for that!"
"Musashi! No!" Kojiro shouts.
"Why are you defending her?! I thought you wanted to kill her!"
"I do, but I am willing to admit my mistakes in the prior Grail War warranted punishment. Besides, I would think you prefer her making outfits as her penance?"
"She doesn't need legs to make clothes." Musashi says and Kojiro's heart skips a beat. He then raises his blade alongside Musashi.
===
Semiramis finds herself quickly cornered, now summoning beasts on three fronts.
'…It would be a simple solution to use poison, but with Shirou still here he is at risk…plus there is the wild card of that new Servant and drawing Gilgamesh's wrath if the poison hurts that one red haired boy…'
In a blur, two swords are at her neck.
"…Rather disappointing." Artoria says, making Semiramis' eye twitch.
"Yeah…Wait, how long will the Gardens stay flying when you die?" Mordred asks.
"It will begin a violent descent and crash into the ground, killing us all and leaving a crater upon the Earth."
"I am sure you are lying…Like a Caster."
"Do not call me that! And why would I have the splendor of my Garden remain when I am dead?"
Artoria and Mordred keep their eyes on the other.
"Is there anyone you want to keep alive?" Artoria asks.
"My Master and Jack. Maybe the Rider of Red, I did promise to kill him at some point. Anyone else aside from the writer would be a bonus. You?"
"None, but there was a young man I was tasked with keeping safe, but given the danger on this castle between the beasts and bestial Servants I doubt he is still-"
"ARRRRRRTHUUUR!" A familiar voice below shouts making both blondes pale. Semiramis grins and launches a spike from the wall, pushing both their blades away. Lancelot jumps up to the floor and Semiramis pulls herself and Artoria into the wall, hiding them, leaving Lancelot with only one person to see.
"What are you-Oh crap…Hey L-"
"ARTHUUUR!" He shouts before rushing Mordred, making her jump away from the slash, only to fall to the floor below from most of the floor collapsing from the blow. As Mordred begins crossing blades with a fellow knight, Artoria and Semiramis appear on a solid spot of floor. Artoria goes to jump but stops when Semiramis grips her shoulder.
"…If you do not want a slow death, unhand me."
"Haven't I earned a moment of your time with that gift some time ago?"
"You sicced one of, if not the most skilled knights of the Round Table in his rage upon my son and expect good will from me?"
"It's not like I planned this, and didn't Mordred kill you and end your kingdom?"
"That is an extraneous detail right now."
"Extraneous? How is that-"
"But more importantly…where is my evil twin from space? She was fighting with Lancelot last."
"You are the last person to call anyone evil!" MHX says while pointing a blade up to Artoria.
"Bold words from someone using Lancelot like an attack dog!"
"Like you weren't planning that at some point you Saber among Sabers!?"
"I wasn't actually. My main priorities was surviving Lancelot, killing this Morgan knock off-"
"If anything this Morgan is imitating me!"
"Killing Kazuma, Medea, and Gilgamesh, with a few others as potential bonuses; my word about fighting alongside you to rid Medea still holds true."
"You lie!"
"She's not though!" Karna shouts from the floor.
"Wha…?" MHX says with pale cheeks.
Artoria grins.
"It appears that adage holds truth…'Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster'~."
"What are you say-N-no…That can't be…" MHX says while looking at her sword with wide eyes.
"Is it though? It seems you've come to the same conclusions as you hold that saber." Artoria says, making MHX wince before she continues.
"You claim to hunt Sabers, yet look how many Sabers are now in this war…You claim to loath despicable actions, yet tricked Lancelot into an attempt on my life…an attempt thwarted by a true Assassin Servant, to further show who you truly are underneath all that asinine bluster~."
"I am not-wait…you said Assassin?" Semiramis asks in shock as MHX warbles.
"No….No! That's not true! That's impossible!"
"A self denying hypocrite too…it's like looking in a mirror~!" Saber says in sing song before leaning on the one remaining stretch of a balcony ledge, relishing the shade of white on MHX's cheeks as she grips her head in true terror as Artoria continues with a raised hand.
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true…You are an exemplary Saber!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" MHX shouts before falling backwards to the floor.
"…What inanity did I just wit- GAH!" Semiramis groans from the armored fist in her side. She does not have long to wonder until she is thrown from the destroyed floor, her vision a blur as she falls. When she lands she looks up and sees Gilgamesh looking towards Artoria with a slightly goofy smile as she joins her son.
===
Darnic watches Artoria intently from over Eris' shoulder in the afterlife.
He ignores the glaring.
He ignores the cough a moment before returning to his seat, one thought on his mind.
'If I had her as a Servant, would my fate have turned out better?'
"It would not."
"You can read minds as well?"
"No, but after ferrying the departed this long, it becomes easier telling which of the same few thoughts run through their head…It also helps that you are easy to read…and that I have the biography of every departed soul that sits in that chair repeated to me…Their lives…their allegiances…their crimes."
"…The Socialist party was just a front for my Mage life."
"Uh-huh."
"Do you not allow lenience for the culture and pressures of one's times?"
"So you we're just following orders?" Eris asks with utter flatness.
"Some of my best friends we're Jewish!" Darnic says, and Eris remains unconvinced.
"Then you will have much to talk about with your new acquaintances for eternity." Eris says before four large ghosts appear further away, cracking phantom knuckles, all of them wearing a kippa. Darnic sweats a little but maintains his composure.
"Since we can bring articles of clothing can I-"
"You can't wear your SS uniform."
"I was going to ask if I can keep my luger and some bullets."
"Absolutely not! And guns don't even work on the departed!"
"Then why are you against it?" Darnic asks.
"I refuse to have a Nazi run around in Hell with a pistol!"
"Then I shall make a plea to atone!"
"I am not listening to the pleading of a Nazi!" Eris says.
"Then it is fortunate I am not pleading to you Yahweh!"
"I am not- wait…Who would you even-"
Darnic makes his plea, and Eris groans in abject shock.
===
"D-don't you think it is a bit much to cut off my legs?" Medea asks.
"No~." Musashi and Kojiro say in unison.
"We have other issues!" Kazuma says.
"And we'll get to them after she dies!"
"I thought you only wanted to cripple me?"
"There are other ways to get clothes if you should be to frail to take the fury of two Sabers." Musashi says.
Servant Kazuma whispers something into Medea's ear.
"…I'm not sure that will work…"
"You got a better idea?"
"Good point." Medea says before raising her hand.
"By my Command Seal…" Medea vanishes and appears to the side whispering the order, making Musashi alternate between outrage, shock, and joy.
The next moment she hefts Kojiro u on her shoulder and leaves the room.
"Where are we going?"
"Sorry, Command Seal…"
"Making you do what?" Kojiro asks while trying to pry himself free.
"Round 4." Musashi says and Kojiro stops resisting.
Further away, Emiya frowns a moment while aiming his bow at his younger self.
'…I miss Medi…' He thinks before firing the shot, only to have it deflected by a random spear. Gilgamesh appears in front of him, a sword in hand. Emiya traces his twin blades but finds himself easily pushed back from this Saber.
As Gilgamesh goes to stab him, a red spear makes him pull back.
"Forgot about me?"
"Can you blame me? Your martial prowess is underwhelming to me now." Gilgamesh answers back, making Scathach frown. Gilgamesh jumps back again, nearly being skewered by a rainfall of Gae Bolgs.
"Amusing…but do you really think you can match me with such an attack?"
"Loath as I am to admit it he's right…" Emiya says.
"I know. But that just makes this challenge more exciting no? Though I am curious why you are helping me out of everyone here."
"I…really don't want to help anyone else here."
"Surprising…the Emiya I know is generally quite helpful." Scathach says, frowning at Gilgamesh dodging another few sears.
"Lot of things happened. That and I do have a soft spot for mentors."
"…You do realize I am much older than you?"
"Not that kind of soft spot, at least not with regards to you. I just suspect Cu Chulainn was a troublesome student." Emiya says, getting a grin from the Irishwoman.
"The stories I could tell you…"
"Oh I have to hear some of those." Emiya says with a smirk, getting a low laugh from Scathach.
"Don't die and actually do something valorous and I'll consider it." Scathach says before closing the distance on Gilgamesh. Archer raises a hand to his chest.
"I am the bone of my sword."
===
Cu Chulainn feels a sudden pit in his stomach, making him freeze and nearly get clawed by Atalanta. Jack is pulling on Atalanta's hair, trying to control and guide her away.
Chiron continues running away from his Master who is now using the wheelchair machine to better give pursuit.
"Wait, why are we running away teacher?" Achilles asks.
"She's gone insane…"
===
Jeanne holds the priest by one hand and punches him with the other. She smiles at the crack of cartilage and creak of bone on her fist.
'…You know you look utterly terrifying now right?'
Jeanne freezes and glances over. Kazuma hasn't seen her yet. Rin however is smiling fully and also punching the priest in the side, eliciting another cough.
"Do I look scary now?" Jeanne asks Rin.
"Stuff of nightmares!" Rin says with a smile, deflating Jeanne as she throws Shirou away.
"…It was a compliment?"
"Doesn't feel so good now." Jeanne says as a Griffon lands, Aqua and Mash jumping down from the back. Aqua is pale, Mash is blushing, and Astolfo is smiling stiffly.
Not that far away, Ritsuka looks at Kazuma.
"…I'm not surprised you would suggest that."
"I'm not surprised you're not surprised…though why are you in a trench coat? It's not cold and you never struck me as shy." Kazuma asks, raising an eyebrow when Mash grins further away and Ritsuka frowns.
"I…don't want to talk about-" Ritsuka groans as she looks over Kazuma's shoulder. Turning around he sees the priest standing near a comatose MHX. He is bloodied, with a black eye, and clutching his side with one hand as his other holds MHX's device for the neo nuclear device.
'Good thing it is in an alien language…it is in an alien language right?' Kazuma thinks with wide eyes.
'I'm surprised this thing has language options…' Shirou thinks as he begins plugging in coordinates.
A bright light appears overhead, getting everyone's attention.
"So it is the same type of spell as Explosion?!" Megumin shouts.
Semiramis encases Artoria and Mordred in the floor.
"Priest, what are you doing?" Gilgamesh asks as his hand shakes on Scathach's spear tip near his neck.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"I will not-"
"By my Command Seal, do not attack me." Shirou says, making Gilgamesh shake in rage and push Scathach back. He stands, trying to attack this Shirou but finds himself held back.
"Steal!" Kazuma shouts with both hands, another light filling the room. A moment passes and in his hands are two pairs of white panties.
"…Seriously?" Rin mutters.
Jeanne remains silent before smiling.
'Seriously Jeanne? I doubt he meant to take your-'
'It's a sign damn it!' Jeanne thinks as Caster Kazuma raises his hand.
"Sacred Steal!" He shouts and a moment later, a red spear is in one hand and trench coat is in his other as Ritsuka yells out. Turning around they see the red head wearing a purple 'top', consisting of furry pads over her nipples with similar colored strings crisscrossing her stomach. She covers herself while glaring at Kazuma then Medea.
Mash smiles despite herself.
Medea already took pictures.
"Least it can't get worse…" Ritsuka mutters before noticing the younger Shirou Emiya looking at her with red cheeks and wandering eyes.
"Can we add her for harem training?" Shirou asks Gilgamesh.
"I don't see why not." Gilgamesh says, making Ritsuka groan and nearly gag.
'…No amount of therapy will make this ok…' Ritsuka thinks with vacant eyes.
The light above brightens significantly.
A gun shot rings out, hitting Shirou in the hand and making him drop the device, aborting the nuke. Looking up he gasps.
"How are you here?! You died!" Shirou shouts in shock with others as Darnic approaches.
"I did, but then I chose to become a Counter Guardian!"
Shirou Emiya almost screams out loud as he screams internally.