Chapter Text
Rudo had always been more adaptable than an average person. He had to be, in order to stay alive.
That did not make the start of winter any easier, however.
The common room was awfully quiet that day when Rudo stumbled in for breakfast.
Not that it seemed to affect any of the other few people around, they had probably experienced festive season plenty of times throughout their lives down here.
But for Rudo, whose soul was cracked wide open, who had the person that represented his entire world ripped out of his life, his body thrown down a pit with the intention to kill him, to get rid of him forever...he had never seen the Cleaners HQ so empty.
It was technically a good thing, he thought. It meant they had families to spend the end of year with.
Rudo didnt have anyone to visit.
The metal bench he sat on felt extra cold now.
The porridge they served here, though typically bland, sat heavily on his tongue. It felt almost as suffocating as the crispness in the mess hall.
Rudo debated skipping breakfast to munch on something more sugary instead, just as the scolding words from Enjins last lecture on proper nutrition replayed before his eyes.
Rudo mentally kicked himself. He was not the type of person to complain about or waste food. Especially not if it was given to him so graciously.
His appetite vanished nonetheless.
Maybe he could train later. Or get a headstart on fixing the little hill of broken gadgets waiting in his room.
He chewed lazily, gaze sweeping over the handful of supporters still left in the building.
Enjin and Gris had gone out yesterday on an errand run and would not be back for at least another day, so sparring with them was out.
Not even Semiu could pester him about productivity the way she was prone to do when he was lounging around for too long.
But the building was not entirely deserted, Rudo thought.
That turdface Zanka hadn't left, he remembered.
His supposed 'mentor' had never shared any details about his familial situation with him, but from what he gathered it was not particularly good.
And Riyo was still here too, being in a similar predicament.
She should be back from her solo mission by now, Rudo guessed.
He would wait a little longer before bothering her, in case she was still asleep.
His mood improved somewhat. At least he could go nag them for a while. Then he wouldn't have to be alone with his thoughts.
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Zanka was an early-bird.
Rudo had been a little put off at first, when he noticed that he had never seen Zanka at breakfast.
Enjin had explained to him that he usually spent the morning on the training grounds, when it was not as busy yet.
Today, however, seemed to be one of those days where absolutely nothing followed the 'normal' schedule.
He checked the sanded courtyard they used for practice, the small indoor room for cold or bad-weather days and even the garage, although that one was a shot in the dark, and found Zanka nowhere.
Rudo was getting somewhat frustrated. He just wanted to pass some time, and now the turdface made him play hide-and-seek.
His last idea was to check Zankas room, and when not even that worked out he decided to give up and kick Riyo out of bed.
They could plan a surprise ambush on the turdface together, since it was his fault for being so well hidden.
He practically left Rudo no other choice but to take time off of Riyos beauty sleep!
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Rudos thoughts went somewhat haywire on the way.
If she was not there either, if Rudo had to spend the entire day with just himself and the ghosts of a past he would never get back, what would that do to him? What would he do to himself?
He hasn't spent the holidays away from Regto in years.
In fact, it's been so long that he couldn't remember what it was like before the man that would eventually become his father at heart gave him reprieve from pain and frost and derogatory stares.
The question of whether or not Riyo was in her room and awake answered itself.
Rudo had barely stepped foot in the hallway when he heard muffled voices, a sound that reminded him of dying animals he would find in garbage dumps up on the sphere when people decided their pets were too broken to keep, and a whole series of thuds and bangs.
Raiders, was Rudos first instinct.
But how had they gotten in? They could not have gotten past their security without anyone noticing right?
Oh god, Rudo thought. Had they hurt Riyo?
Rudo quickened his pace. His gloved hand reached for the door handle, familiar power rushing through his veins.
The door to Riyos room crashed open and a giant bundle slammed right into his chest.
"What the hell," Rudo stumbled back a little bit, the bundle came to rest on the ground before him. It reached his chest in height.
"W'the fuck is going on?"
Zanka appeared a moment later in Riyos doorframe, trying hard to look put-together.
He failed miserably.
Patting the crinkles in his clothes flat changed nothing about the way his hair stuck out in any and all directions or how Rudo could have stored his entire work-in-progress garbage collection in those eyebags.
"I looked for you all over, turdface!" Rudo pointed an accusing finger at Zanka. "What were you doing in Riyos room anyway?"
"Ya Riyo, go ahead an' tell him," Zanka huffed.
Thats when the blanket pile shifted. Riyo poked her head out, all ruffled hair and red rimmed eyes.
"I may ha'e stayed out too late w'thout a jacket yesterday," she rasped rather miserably.
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It wasn't all that difficult to drag Riyo to the movie room and get her settled onto the couch, a large round pit in the floor they referred to as 'The Nest'.
She whined and complained the whole way, but once the prospect of watching as many movies of her choice as she wanted came into mind, suddenly being sick wasn't so bad anymore.
Zanka huffed next to him, dumping the load of blankets he had lugged over onto Riyos head.
"Oi," the congestion made her voice squeak miserably. "You gotta be nice to sick people!"
"And ya gotta be more careful with ya health, but here we are," Zanka shoved the blanket pile onto her which earned him another squeak.
He settled down for what would undoubtedly be a long movie marathon, waving Rudo to do so as well.
"Ya kept me up all night with that grumbling."
Rudo tentatively sat down on Riyos other side. The projector buzzed somewhere in front of him, playing a movie hes already been roped into watching at least thrice during his short stay on the Ground.
Zanka messed around with a bunch of stuff on the table in the middle of the pit. He seemed to have prepared in advance to his attempt at getting Riyo out of her drafty room.
Riyo sniffled and hacked into a tissue to his left, raspy voice going on and on about 'this actor' and 'you guys have no idea what a good, classic movie is!'.
Rudo was already used to Riyos bad movie-talking habit and he stopped listening halfway through. All he could think about was how glad he was to not be alone today.
While Zanka grabbed a box of tissues and a plate of fruit from the table and handed it to Riyo, who gave him a grateful look, something else took over his awareness.
The guilt.
Because technically he was only occupied right now on the cost of a...(family members) friends health.
Riyo was an outgoing person who thrived best in changing environments. She was often out on days like this, to enjoy her time away from HQ.
And Zanka had stayed up all night to help her when stubbornness wouldn't let her admit defeat and accept help.
Both of them had better things to do. Things they would be engaging in right now, had Riyo been well.
Just what did that say about him as a person, that he was glad for the distraction and not distraught over Riyos suffering, however minor it may be?
Had he not changed at all? Was all the progress he made, all the effort he put into bettering himself, just in his head?
They would surely be angry at him if they found out how he felt.
Zanka and Riyo are very close, and Rudo? He just happened to get tossed into their friendship. He had no place in that bond, not yet.
Maybe he never will, once he gets back to the sphere.
His breathing quickened. He scrunched the fabric of a nearby pillow with his gloved hands in a futile attempt to quench the panic rising in his throat, the tremor in his fists.
The urge to hit his thigh really hard, that one spot that hurt just enough to distract him from unwanted thoughts.
Something rustled beside him. A plate clinked softly. Rudo paid it no attention.
Zanka was always so perceptive, surely he already knows. He's going to throw Rudo out any minute now, give him the look of disgust he had gotten frequently up on the sphere.
The look you give a murderer.
But when he glanced over, caught a flicker of what he believed to be relief in Zankas eyes, he remembered that Zanka, too, would have been on his own with his thoughts otherwise.
Riyo tossed a grape his way, hitting him square in the face.
"Stop spacing out, shrimp."
Zanka shifted, slid a bowl of candy right over Riyos head, skillfully avoiding her flailing reach for the sugar filled treasure, and right into Rudos lap.
Rudo shoved the grape into his mouth, saw the content grin on Riyos face while she babbled about whatever came to mind, and suddenly all of his fears seemed silly even to himself.
His heartbeat slowed.