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To put it plainly, Leo was tired.
He had spent the day in bunker 9 working on the Argo II, even after all his half siblings had left for the night. His hands were sore with blisters that would become callouses, his joints and muscles hurt, and his skin felt sticky with sweat.
More than that, he was emotionally exhausted. Things just weren’t working right. He couldn’t get anything to connect the way it needed too, and the problems felt like a hydra’s heads; you fix one, two more show up in its place. He’d spent a lot of time yelling and cursing at different parts, overstimulated, pissed off and wishing he could just get the damn thing to work. And if two out of three of his bathroom breaks were an excuse to go cry where no one could see him, well, that was Leo’s business, and no one else’s.
But it was dark outside now, and Leo had eaten his dinner of a mini chip bag and a left-over fourth of a sandwich. His body ached, and he hadn’t slept half as much and he needed to in the past week. Even being in the habit of ignoring his limit when there was work to be done, he knew when he couldn’t push himself any further.
The son of Hephaestus dragged his feet, trying harder than he should have had to to keep his eyes open on his way to his cabin. He wasn’t looking where he was walking when the toe of Leo’s boot caught on a rock. He was sent into a panic, as he wasn’t confident he had the energy to catch himself. Then, like some god had decided to spare him, he heard someone rushing toward him, getting close enough just in time to catch him before he tasted the dirt.
“Leo!” He heard a very familiar voice exclaim. As it turned out, the god choosing to spare him was Zeus, because he had just been rescued from tripping and eating shit by none-other than his very own Jason Grace. “Hey Jason,” Leo greeted him with a weak grin, trying and failing to seem fine. “Thanks for the save,” He said, trying to shift the task of holding him up to legs, where it belonged.
Between his tired muscles and sudden inability to locate his center of gravity, he had absolutely zero luck in doing so. Instead, he found himself right back against Jason, only more upright. Now, normally, having his face against the blond’s collar bones and having his hand planted firmly on his chest would have Leo flustered to all hell and back, or wanting to make a flirty comment. But after the day- no, the week Leo had had, feeling how he did, being so overstimulated he wanted to peel off his skin and fully submerge himself in water, and mad at himself that he couldn’t even stay upright, he just broke.
Maybe he’s been close to breaking all day. Maybe now he just had some to do it against. Now he had a person to lean on, metaphorically and literally. Maybe now he felt weak enough to let himself lean on someone. To break against them.
If it had been anyone else who had caught him on the path, would Leo let everything around him go to a blur? Would he be crying into Nyssa’s chest right now? Would he sobbing out barely intelligible rambling about how tired he was to Piper? Or was it looking up and seeing Jason that let him buckle? Let him be taken care of. Maybe Jason was the only one he’d let see him like this. The only one he’s let hold him close, run his hands through Leo’s hair, tell him he’s going to be alright.
He knows Jason is the only one who would be willing to basically carry him all the way back. And Jason is definitely the only person who would drag an overworked son of Hephaestus back to Cabin 1 and set him down on his bed to pass out there.
That, to make a long story short, is how Leo ended up waking in the middle of the night, he guessed maybe three AM, cuddled up next to the son of Zeus. The window let in just enough light so that Leo could make out Jason’s features. Despite his sore muscles making limpness the most comfortable option, Leo wanted to reach out and hold his face. Jason was an on-edge person who never seemed to let his guard down, and it made Leo want to cry when he looked so peaceful and relaxed in his sleep.
He reached his arm across to Jason, holding his face gently in his palm. He was a little sad when, in the dim light, he could make out the blond’s face twitching and his eyes opening. Although, it didn’t surprise him. Jason was a light sleeper.
When he came to, his eyes met Leo’s and softened. He closed them again, and brought his hand to the other boy’s, pressing it between his palm and cheek. “How’re you feeling?” He asked.
“Sore… Tired,” He responded after a moment. Jason turned his head into Leo’s hand and pressed a kiss into his palm. “You can’t overwork yourself like that. I was worried about you, and clearly those concerns weren’t unfounded.” The brunet felt a small stab of guilt, because he really didn’t want Jason to worry about him, but he was right. How are you supposed to reassure someone, when you’ve literally just proven their fears right?
“I’m sorry…” He muttered. The son of Zeus took Leo’s hand away from his face and laced it with his own. “Don’t apologize to me. I’m not the person you’re hurting,” he pressed his lips to the brunet’s knuckles. “I just want you to be okay.”
Leo’s heart skipped a beat at the gesture and the words. It had been such a long time since he’d had anyone who cared about him as much as Jason did, and he’d never had someone who cared about him the way that Jason did. That’s where the guilt came from really, that Leo knew that when he was hurt, it hurt Jason. That Jason couldn’t stand to see in a suffering state.
Jason cared about Leo like everything that happened to him affected himself.
Leo still wasn’t sure what exactly they were. He knew they weren’t just friends. They’d had a moment in the cave right after escaping Midas where they’d shared a couple of kisses, and promised to talk about it later.
Well, “later” had come in the form of about a week after they returned to camp. Leo had to really force himself to actually have the conversation, rather than just running away like he always did. In reality, they probably would have had that conversation a day or two earlier if Leo’s hadn’t kept dodging it out of nerves. This ended up making Leo feel really guilty, since it caused the conversation to start with Jason asking if he regretted kissing him.
Ultimately, they made it clear to one another that they liked each other. Although it took him a minute, Leo ended up admitting to Jason that this is the first time he’s ever really let himself like a boy. Between that and Jason’s remaining uncertainty about his past, they didn’t categorize what exactly it was they had going on. It was simply made clear that there was a certain fondness between them, and that they would both very much like to not behave as thought is wasn’t there
Despite that, it wasn’t complicated or awkward. Because, really, what did a label change? Jason still walked him to his cabin, told him sweet things, and kissed him when no one was around. Leo was content getting all that without the discomfort and shame that came with the idea of saying “Hey, look, I have a boyfriend, ‘cause I’m a fucking fag.” Leo hated it, because he knew there wasn’t any real shame in it, but he couldn’t help it. It was how he was raised. The angel his mother was, she still couldn’t keep him safe from what everyone else had to say. What his aunt had to say. What his babysitters had to say. What the pastors had to say when he’d go to church on holidays.
Leo knew he wouldn’t feel this way for ever. It was just better this way for now.
And now Leo’s emotions were all mixed up. He’s tried to default to guilt and apologies, but then Jason told him not to. He was worried because he wanted Leo to be okay, but it wasn’t in a “don’t feel bad” way. No, it was more of a way to push him to take responsibility, but for himself, not for anyone, and that was fucking with Leo’s head in a way he wasn’t prepared to process. That being that what Jason was asking was for Leo to be kind to himself.
And there was another thing that hit Leo like a truck. Jason did this thing a lot, you see, where he’d ask Leo to do things that only benefited Leo, and demand he did them for himself. He had absolutely no reason to care. The way he would talk about Leo’s self-destructive tendencies was in a way that completely removed how it affected anyone but Leo, like he was trying to push an idea that he deserved better with no other justification needed. It made sense in theory, but believing it was another story.
The words Jason had spoken were so few, but took only a few seconds to stir through his mind and bring up certain thoughts and feelings. Leo now had blurry vision with tears rolling from the corners of his eyes, and hoped the dim light on Jason’s face wasn’t doing the same for him.
No such luck. Jason reached Leo's free hand and wiped a tear from his cheek. “Shit, what’s wrong?” Jason asked, his voice worried. Leo pressed into the touch. “It’s nothing,” he choked through a sob. “Oh, baby…” Jason pulled Leo into his chest.
Leo found comfort in Jason holding him close. He wanted it to make it all better, but of course that wouldn’t be that case. Of course Leo had to think “How could anyone look at this and think it’s wrong?” Leo sobbed quietly in Jason’s chest thinking about how much he cares about him. How good he was to him. Going from how good he is to Leo, to how Leo isn’t good enough. From wondering why he could ever have felt like this was wrong, to guilt for feeling like loving Jason was wrong.
And fuck, wasn’t that an idea to cross his brain. Love? He hadn’t really known Jason that long, and even shorter a time they had been having this little affair. Leo thought it would definitely be foolish to say he was in love with Jason. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t well on the way, and that was so much more terrifying.
All the while, Jason held him, carding his fingers through Leo’s brunet curls, and shushing him with little reassurances.
“You’re gonna be okay,”
“You’re alright,”
“It’s gonna be fine,”
“Just breath,”
Somewhere along the way, Leo had gotten a hold of himself, and was now quietly breathing in Jason’s chest. “Sorry…” He muttered. “It’s just… it’s been a lot.” Jason gave him a squeeze. “It’s okay, I know it has.”
Leo was never good at being vulnerable or letting his walls down. It was hard to let anyone see the reality of what was going on with him, even Jason. But honesty mattered, and he liked Jason enough to want to let him in. Call it “putting in the work,” but whatever it was, it wasn’t easy.
But he was more than willing to do it for Jason. He wanted Jason to see him, and that was never going to happen if he kept his walls up. And the idea of being dishonest with Jason made him sick. If you claim to care about someone, you can’t lie to them.
“Jason?” Leo whispered. “Yeah?” Jason whispered back.
“I’m scared.”
There was a long pause before Leo spoke again.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.”
There was more silence, and it made Leo anxious. Finally, Jason responded. “Then I should be terrified.” It takes a moment to understand what he means, but when he does, Leo feels his heart racing in his chest, and it feels like the loudest thing in the room.
He feels Jason’s too, he realizes. He presses his face closer into Jason’s chest. The beats fall in quick succession, and each one feels like a vindication. It had been hard for Leo to believe that Jason actually felt the same, but he felt like he had to genuinely be stupid to think that now. For at least now, Leo left his anxious thoughts behind.
“Leo,” Jason spoke.
“Yeah?”
“You’re not working tomorrow.”