Chapter Text
Your hands are shaking as you check for a pulse you cannot find. Blood trickles from his mouth. You hope it was instant. You hope they didn’t feel it. Maybe they didn’t even know. Gems, you hope his last moments were smiling, looking at Mirabelle with that fond, playful smile. “I’m sorry, Siffrin.” You whisper, crossing his arms over his chest. With great sorrow, you leave them behind.
When the others see you, they don’t even ask. Mirabelle sinks to her knees and weeps. Boniface wails. And Isabeau. Isabeau just stands there, blank faced and still. Eventually, Mirabelle pulls herself together enough to continue. Boniface’s screams have been reduced to quiet whimpers.
Nobody speaks, save for the occasional callout in battle. Whether it’s the shock, or the absence of your rogue, the sadnesses are much harder than you anticipated.
The sadness’s head shatters when you deal the final blow, and for a moment you can hear the crunching of bones all over again.
The next room seems safe (although you’ve been wrong before) and someone suggests you take a break. It’s only when the others nod you realize it was you who said it.
While Boniface works on preparing the snacks, you open your book. The words dance and blur, as legible as a foreign alphabet, but it’s easier than seeing the despair on your companions’ faces.
~~~
You took too much food. It’s a habit you developed on your journey when you noticed Sif would still be hungry but never ask for more. The chocolate chips in your last cookie have melted and left dark smears on your fingers. It looks like blood.
You were going to ask the others about what to do with their bodies if they didn’t make it. Coward that you are, you didn’t. When you beat the King (if you beat the King) you’ll have to figure out what to do with Sif. Where were they from? He never said.
Now you’ll never know.
There’s a lot you’ll never know about him. Their plans for after your journey (plans he wouldn’t be able to follow through with now.) What he saw in the stars that the rest of the world didn’t. If they loved you how you love them.
“I, uh, just don't wanna tell you right now. It might distract you. And we wouldn't want that, right??? So, um, I'll tell you when we beat the King. Okay?”
His face scrunches cutely in that way you adore as they search your face for a clue, before finally giving up. “Okay.”
Coward.
~~~
There are malanga fritters in your pack. You made them for Frin because you caught him staring at a recipe for them in a book.
You don’t tell the others about them, because they were for Frin, not Belle or Za or Dile or you. But Frin had to be stupid and get themself killed for no reason.
If he still had two eyes, he would have lived. But he had to be stupid and get hurt and then be stupid again and now they can’t have your fritters or make stupid puns or call you Bonbon ever again.
Dile asks you not to follow them through the last set of doors. She doesn’t say why, because you’re smart enough to understand. If something happened to you then Frin got hurt for nothing and then that would mean Frin died for nothing so you can’t get hurt.
You still follow them. You can’t let anyone get hurt for you again.
~~~
You thought it would be hard, seeing your old home in this twisted state. But when you look at your frozen old friends, all you can think about is how lucky they are. When you beat the King (and you WILL beat the King) they will all wake up unharmed, with no idea what it cost.
Whatever the King wanted to say to you, you don’t care. He barely gets two words out before you launch an Artsy Silent Burst.
His first attack is so strong it knocks the breath from your lungs. Odile staggers from the impact and Isabeau curses under his breath. Without your shield, you don’t think anyone would be left standing.
A skill you only figured out from sheer luck. If you never stumbled upon the secret library, everyone would have died. (If you figured it out earlier, would Siffrin have survived?)
Halfway through the fight, the King lands a blow that sends you flying across the room. The wall slams against your back and you crumple to the floor. Bonnie is at your side in an instant, crafted water in their trembling hands.
“Please please please not again,” they chant under their breath.
“I’m okay, Bonnie,” you promise, forcing yourself to your feet before the water has taken full effect.
“Mirabelle! Shield!” Odile calls, and you can see the tell-tale craft forming in the King’s hands.
Maybe it’s because you only just learned the skill, maybe it’s because you’re so angry at the King, maybe it’s just sheer luck. For whatever reason, when the attack makes contact with your shield this time it makes a harsh metallic sound. Like two swords clashing, or a safe slammed shut. The force vibrates up your arms to your shoulders, but it doesn’t hurt, not like before. More importantly, it bounces back at the King. Lightless creeps up his feet the way it did all of your friends all those months ago, and just like that, you’ve won.
It still feels like you lost.
~~~
There’s a click and that’s all the warning you get to dodge before a boulder crashes to the floor. You try to cry out, but there’s no air and it hurts it hurts it hurts it h u r t s.
And then there is nothing.
When you wake up the first thing you do is jump to your feet. You jump to your feet.
You
can’t
move