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Akutagawa rose from the ground, straightening his posture as he brushed dust off the front of his jacket. Chuuya was readjusting his hat while Atsushi, the most dishevelled of the three gifted, helped the acquired target stand up.
Chuuya made no effort to hide a bemused smile as his eyes shifted towards what had taken a chokehold of Akutagawa’s scrutiny. The young woman they’d rescued was blushing and stuttering as she interacted with Atsushi, completely melting under his kind eyes and empathetic smile. Tiger boy was oblivious as always. The executive nudged Akutagawa out of his stupor with a chuckle.
“Too bad the Port Mafia didn’t pick the kid up first huh?”
Akutagawa scoffed.
“He’d never have survived basic training…”
“I wouldn’t be so sure my boy, he’s gotten a lot tougher since you started partnering up with him. He actually reminds me of myself…especially in this case.” Chuuya titled his head towards the pair in front of them. Akutagawa’s brow furrowed as he watched the target stumble and fall into the weretiger’s arm. He rolled his eyes. What could she possibly have tripped over.
“What do you mean by ‘especially in this case’?”
“Don’t be dense now Akutagawa, you’re telling me you haven’t noticed how people get all googly-eyed over Atsushi?”
Akutagawa’s nose wrinkled, he felt as if he was suddenly breathing in mold.
“Don’t feel bad my boy! Some people just have the gift. I sure do and it looks like Tiger boy is a chip off the old honey pot.”
The younger mafioso did not appreciate this conversation or the feelings coming along with it. For some reason it felt like he had soba noodles stuck in his windpipe and a strange pressure was building up behind his eyes. He had to stop himself from wrenching that stupid girl out of the weretiger’s stupid, strong arms and using her to smack Chuuya in the face. Alas, the target was required to be delivered in one piece and Chuuya was his superior. So, he settled with some masterful, gilded commentary.
“Ugh…”
Chuuya laughed.
“What’s got you all bothered? Jealous?”
Akutagawa grit his teeth. Ah, that all too familiar feeling that was only ever triggered by that silver haired bastard. It made sense, they were rivals after all. If Atsushi was good at something, let alone superior to Akutagawa in said something, it would make sense for irritation and jealously to prick into his skin like burrs. His soul would only be at peace once he’s fully defeated him. This feeling would only be alleviated once he’s surpassed him.
“Yes, I suppose I am.”
Chuuya looked taken aback, Akutagawa shot him an appraising gaze.
“You appear confused…”
“Uh yeah, I wasn’t expecting you to actually admit it…”
Akutagawa settled on his signature, disinterested expression. He held too much respect for Chuuya to roll his eyes for a second time.
“I am intelligent enough to acknowledge my short comings, and more than capable of addressing them.”
The mafioso was quick to turn on his heels and stalk off into the night, leaving before Atsushi could bounce over with the young girl hanging off his arm. He looked at the remaining Port Mafia member in confusion.
“Hey, where’s Akutagawa going?”
“I don’t think you wanna know kid…I sure as hell don’t.”
XOXOXO
Gin and Tachihara were lounging in the unofficial Black Lizard break room. They had acquired a particularly decadent slice of Basque matcha cheesecake and were currently using their refined knife skills to cut it into equal halves. Steaming cups of tea rested next to them, Tachihara’s eyes were wide as Gin brought the knife down gently…carefully…so close…
Wack.
Gin looked up in shock, knife carefully raised away from the sacred dessert as Tachihara let out an undignified yelp.
Akutagawa had slammed down a photo of his long-term obsession. Where he gotten such a clear photo of Atsushi sporting a dazzling smile neither wanted to know.
“Explain why he is attractive and efficient in the art of seduction…”
One sentence, spoken by her brother in the same tone as a professor asking for 5,000 words on the fall of the Roman Empire. Thank goodness the tea was still patiently waiting to be sipped, because by the contorted look on her partner’s face Gin concluded the chances for a spit take had been 100 percent.
“Um…what?”
“Akutagawa, sir? Is there something you are trying to tell us.”
He stared at the two of them like they were the strange ones, rolling his eyes to communicate his dwindling patience.
“Tell you something no, acquire information yes. It has come to my attention the weretiger is more skilled in romancing than I am and I would like to know why.”
Gin smacked her cheeks a couple times, just to make sure she wasn’t dissociating. Tachihara stared blankly ahead. Her brother sighed in exasperation.
“Do neither of you possess this knowledge?”
Tachihara was first to take a tentative step into the jungle, pressing down gently to avoid accidentally ending up in quicksand.
“Um…I mean he’s like physically attractive and uh…nice?”
“Are those the only traits required to be effective at seduction?”
Gin stealthily pressed her knife into the ginger haired man’s thigh, a warning to shut his mouth going forward. She took over, her gentle voice disarming her prickly sibling.
“Why are you curious about this?”
“I am experiencing discomfort that he has surpassed me in this regard and would like to improve my own seduction skills so I can defeat him.”
“I see…can you describe this discomfort?”
Akutagawa went into a well-spoken monologue describing exactly how he felt seeing the target interact with the weretiger earlier. Tachihara held his laugher, to avoid having his thigh split open, while Gin listened fervently.
Once he finished, she took a moment to think, rolling things over in her mind before making steely eye contact with her brother.
“Atsushi is kind and attentive, and makes people feel like they matter.”
Akutagawa tapped his finger against his chin. “I see…”
He was out of room in a flash of black fabric. He knew what to do now.
XOXOXO
Akutagawa entered the Agency café, eyes glued to his target. He knew the red-haired Guild member was acutely fond of his rival, irritatingly so. His eye twitched remembering the multitude of times she would interrupt their conversations or pull the weretiger into the café while Shin Soukoku was debriefing outside. Foolish.
She would be his first target.
He strolled up to the counter, watching her make a cup of coffee, stupid smile plastered on her face. Ugh. His eyes shifted to where she was staring, and he locked eyes with a very confused looking weretiger seated at a booth. Perfect, he would be subject to witness Akutagawa’s successful seduction of this…woman.
Something tasted sour in Akutagawa’s mouth as he processed what it would feel like to…try and seduce her. It made his stomach slightly queasy. He glanced at the weretiger, taking in the sight of his silver hair, slight blush and sparkling eyes. Everything in his body settled.
Of course…if he were to surpass a skilled seducer, it would be entirely more efficient to woo said seducer! He felt a deep sense of satisfaction build in his lower abdomen.
“Uh…Akutagawa…can I help you?”
His gaze shot back to his previous target.
“Is that for the weretiger?” He eyed her finished coffee.
“Um…yeah…”
Rashomon grabbed the coffee cup, holding it steady.
“I could like a cup of jasmine tea brought to the table as well.” He threw a collection of bills at her before stalking off to the table. Atsushi had not been able to pull his gaze away from the mafioso since he entered the shop, flush growing a deeper red once he realized Akutagawa was coming to sit across from him. Lucy rolled her eyes before getting to work on his tea.
He slid into the booth, gently placing the coffee down before sliding the sugar towards his preferred target.
“Weretiger.”
“Uh, yes?”
“Tell me about the events of your day, and the feelings you have around these events. I am interested and would like to listen; your musings are significant.”
The amount of blood that suddenly gushed from the weretiger’s nose shocked even the blood thirsty killer sitting across from him.
“I HAVE TO GO.”
He had never seen Atsushi flee in such a manner.
Akutagawa felt something bitter and angry start to fester in his chest…how had this failed? He was being kind, attentive and considerate. He bit his lower lip, it seems the weretiger was more skilled that he had originally assessed. No matter, the mafioso had never backed down from a challenge and had no plans of doing so now.
With a huff he exited the café, tea order completely forgotten.
Lucy crossed her arms, shaking her head and she watched the dark-haired man disappear after Atsushi.
“Idiots.”
XOXOXO
Akutagawa was prepared for the mission this time. He had pondered, he had studied, and he had consulted what he considered to be the preeminent depiction of expert seduction: the 1995 BBC miniseries adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. He was armed with an ironclad plan and would be successful in defeating his long-term rival. Gin had seemed supportive and encouraging of his strategies when he debriefed with her the previous night.
And so, he moved on to the execution. He had observed five significant occurrences that resulted in Lizzie Bennet falling in love. Oh…one more actually. Okay…so six…six occurrences. And he would try them all.
1.) He had a dapper sense of style.
“Jesus Christ Chuuya…how could you let him out of the house looking like that…”
“Hey! Lay off the kid, at least he’s taking a break from that fucking jacket.”
“But really Slug! He’s going to get beaten up.”
“Yeah, by who?!”
“Well teased then, mercilessly teased…as a mentor you really should be trying to save him from the embarrassment.”
“Eh, let him dress how he wants.”
Dazai’s eyes narrowed, gears in his brain shifting.
“Hold on now my dear little chibi…is there something going on in dear Akutagawa’s life I don’t know about?”
“Hell if I know asshole…” Chuuya rolled his eyes and headed towards the training ground where Akutagawa was standing in front of entrance, stiff as a board.
Atsushi bounced around the corner, waving at Dazai with a smile before suddenly coming to an abrupt halt once he laid eyes on his partner. His eyes widened, gold and purple swirling with some emotion that Shin Soukoku didn’t understand and Soukoku didn’t want to name.
Akutagawa was poised near the door, dressed in an even more regal white blouse and his signature jabot replaced with a crisp, linen cravat. What was most striking was the darkened, navy wool coat that was so expertly tailored to the mafioso’s figure it was obscene.
Atsushi clasped his hands over his mouth, chest heaving. Suddenly in a flash of blue the tiger was gone leaving behind a stunned Akutagawa, a confused Chuuya and an amused Dazai. A little buzz from the pocket of the tallest man’s brown overcoat offered a suspiciously false sounding excuse for his sudden absence.
Seems Atsushi was hit with a sudden headache and had to cancel his training.
2.) He insults her family.
Akutagawa wasn’t quite sure why this particular action was effective in seduction, but he was grounded and humble in his perception of himself. Who was he to question the great Mr. Darcy, considering how little time he has ever given to the idea of “courting.” The previous attempt had been unsuccessful, but the detective had horrific taste in clothing so that most likely explained it.
But there was one issue…the weretiger had no family…he was an orphan. Akutagawa tapped his pen against the substantial pile of cream stationary on his desk. He supposed the headmaster would have been the closest thing Atsushi had to a father, hadn’t Dazai said that? Unfortunately, the man was dead so he couldn’t really insult him to his face, but then again Darcy hadn’t said anything directly to Lizzie’s family so...
Hmmm, okay there is still potential here.
Which is how Akutagawa found himself face to face with the weretiger yet again, this time at the local convenience store where he liked to frequently buy instant ramen and strawberry ice cream.
Atsushi looked stunned, and more afraid than he has looked in a while. Akutagawa pursed his lips, of course his initial goal had been to inspire fear in his greatest rival but now he was attempting something else entirely. No matter, he would continue with his endeavor.
“Weretiger.”
“Akutagawa…what are you doing here?”
“I have something important to say to you.”
“Oh uh…okay?”
“The headmaster was an imbecile, he had a warped perception of the world and was a weak, pathetic excuse for a man.”
Atsushi’s eyes began to water; Akutagawa tried to regroup and press on.
“He was truly appalling…and the way he treated you was reflective of his lack of intelligence, emotional capacity and morality rather than on your worthiness as a person…”
“Akutagawa…”
Atsushi’s tears were fully flowing now, his lip was trembling, and Akutagawa felt a strange pull on his heart. This seemed to be further from the desired result than before.
“S-sorry I…”
The weretiger abandoned his groceries and fled from the corner store, most likely before his sobbing went from embarrassing to pitiful. Akutagawa sighed, retrieving the abandoned groceries while he pulled the list from his pocket. Perhaps this was not effective since the headmaster wasn’t his real family? He made another round of the market, adding in some extra items the weretiger would appreciate before taking everything up to the counter. Yes, that must explain it. The next endeavour would be much more successful; it had to be.
Later in the evening, as Atsushi was trying to process the fluttery feelings in his chest from having Akutagawa say something so impactful, a sharp knock vibrated off his window. Roused from his ruminations, he floundered towards the glass, opening it just an inch in an effort to guard against whatever psychopath was trying to get in here as opposed to using the front door.
A long, black tendril took that inch and used it to whip the window clean open, causing Atsushi to fly backwards and fall on his ass. He was further stunned to see that tendril place a few bags of groceries on the floor in front of him before slithering away. As quickly as he could he rushed to the opening, head peering over the ledge to try and catch a glimpse of Akutagawa. He saw the tendrils, he felt the familiar energy of Rashomon, but this seemed so surreal he wanted to confirm it with his eyes. But he saw no traces of the man in the dark night, left instead with just a cooling breeze, a thief’s spoils and a swirling heat dancing through his entire body.
3.) He stands around and stares a lot
“Ummm…so are we just…not going to talk about it?” Tanizaki whispered tentatively to the group gathered in a booth for lunch. Lucy snorted as she dropped off everyone’s food.
“Nothing to say to that Atsushi?”
“What are you guys talking about?” The silver haired man asked innocently, sipping at his coffee with his head tilted a little to the side.
Tanizaki sent a hesitant glance to the corner of the café, trying his best to avoid being caught staring by the murderous shadow that was looming there.
“We’re talking about why Akutagawa has just been…around lately…and kind of staring at you? For the past three days?”
Atsushi shifted his head to the side, smiling towards his strange but alluring partner. Akutagawa huffed and averted his gaze. Atsushi gave his friends a simple shrug, burying his face further behind his mug to hide the faint blush.
“I don’t have any control over what he does, he’s probably just plotting to kill me again or something…”
Lucy gave him an exasperated look followed by the most impressive roll of two eyeballs the world has ever seen.
“Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself…”
Yosano kicked Ranpo under the table. When he brought his eyes up to meet her she shot him an expectant gaze.
“Anything you want to weigh in on?”
Ranpo took a long drink of his chocolate milkshake.
“Not really. There’s nothing to figure out, it’s so obvious it’s actually putting my mind to sleep…”
Atsushi choked on his coffee, the sense of hope hitting his chest like how a drunk bird would hit a sliding glass door.
“Wait Ranpo…seriously?”
He answered Atsushi with the enthusiasm of a doctor explaining a colonoscopy.
“You’re about halfway there.”
Atsushi couldn’t stop himself from beaming, the sensation of a certain pair of grey eyes locked on him filling him with anticipation and excitement. Tanizaki’s eyes swirled in confusion while Lucy was happy to offer some succinct commentary.
“Idiots.”
4.) Announces his salary
Atsushi and Akutagawa had just finished a particularly rough training session, Chuuya more than happy to put them through the ringer. The red-haired executive had barely broken a sweat while his two subordinates were wiping the moisture off their necks and catching their breath. Akutagawa felt a steady sense of pride, but not just from the recent work out. He had finally been noticing some positive reception to his recent seduction techniques. Standing around and staring has shown to be quite effective, as the running away or crying has been replaced with soft, heart melting smiles and faint blushes. Both of which seemed to quell the rising sea of jealousy in his heart and provide him much needed relief from his distress. This was starting to feel much closer to winning.
An opportunity suddenly arose to exercise another Darcy approved method of wooing, provided by Atsushi’s traitorous stomach. The growling sounded more akin to an actual tiger than the inner workings of a human being.
“Ah…sorry guess I’m getting hungry?” Atsushi said sheepishly, hands rising to scratch the back of his neck in an effort to soothe his embarrassment.
Whack
Embarrassment was flung out of the driver’s seat by the more domineering emotion of utter shock as Akutagawa pick this exact moment to smack him in the face with a piece of paper.
Oh…
Not just a piece of paper, but his paycheck.
“Ummm…?”
“Observe my salary details weretiger, I make more than enough to support your vile, beast-like feeding habits.”
Atsushi choked on air; his lung having tried desperately to take in all the room’s oxygen.
“W-what! What are you saying?”
“Do you need sustenance? I am more than capable of affording it.” Akutagawa’s face wasn’t far off from his normal demeanor, but something like expectation and fear bristled at the corner of his pupils. Atsushi could taste it on his tongue.
“Are you…asking me to go to lunch?”
He nodded.
“If that is what is required to demonstrate the impressiveness of my monetary earnings.”
“Oh. Okay.”
They packed up their gear and headed out the door. They both offered a polite bow to their seniors. Atsushi blushed, trying to hide his face behind his hand while Akutagawa merely raised an eyebrow as to why Chuuya had Dazai in a headlock with his gloved hands pressed over the suicidal maniac’s mouth.
“Not a word.” Chuuya hissed into his partner’s ear.
5.) Resolves a scandal for her family
The agency had quickly adjusted to Akutagawa’s strange presence over the past week, barely blinking an eye when he would launch himself through the window at random times of the day.
Like now.
“Hi Akutagawa!” Chirped Kenji. Kyouka gave him a curt nod.
“Akutagawaaaaaaa!” Dazai sang towards him, waving obnoxiously. The mafioso rolled his eyes and proceeded to make his way towards his target.
“Oh! Hey Akutagawa…did you need something.” Atsushi smiled up at him warmly.
“No but…if you do you should know I would offer my assistance.”
Atsushi gripped his chest. Dazai’s face lit ecstatically, resting it on his hands to watch Shin Soukoku like one would watch a tv drama. The rest of the detectives did their best to hide the fact that they were certainly eaves dropping now. Naomi had her mirror angled strategically to get a better view without tipping off the Rabid Dog.
“Huh?”
“If you or the agency were ever again in danger or engaged in a scandal, I would use whatever means I have to resolve it.”
“You would help the agency?”
“If you requested it yes.”
Akutagawa stared down at his partner. He raked his eyes over Atsushi, trying to assess the effectiveness of this strategy. Upon further consideration he concluded that the weretiger considered the Agency to be his family, so this method should be more effective now that his miscalculation had been corrected.
Atsushi stood up, scratching his arm while he looked to the side avoiding the mafioso’s scrutinizing eyes.
“Thanks Akutagawa…that uh, means a lot.” He turned to face his partner despite the nervousness. Being around Akutagawa always made him braver.
“Did you…want to get some lunch downstairs since you’re here?”
Akutagawa’s eyes went wide slightly; seems his seduction methods were exceptionally effective. It would not be long now. He gave the weretiger a small nod before they headed towards the exit. The silence that had blanketed the room while they occupied it burst into a lively symphony of gossip and chatter once the door shut behind them.
+ 1.) Gets wet
Akutagawa was ready to administer the final blow. There was no denying the wreckage a wet Mr. Darcy caused to Lizzie’s stubbornness. Akutagawa himself was significantly impressed when he had witnessed the scene. Luckily the weretiger had requested Atsushi to meet him by the pier, and as he made his way the sky decided to play wingman. Noticing the rain pouring down Akutagawa slipped his coat off, draping it over his forearm as the pelting water soaked through his white shirt and dampened his hair. He looked up at the sky, the sun was still shinning and it felt quite warm. Kitsune no yomeiri, he remembered…it was said a sun shower signals the wedding of a fox spirit. He continued his procession towards the harbour.
Atsushi was pacing back in forth, trying to finalize how he would start this conversation. Whatever had gotten into Akutagawa, he needed to figure it out because he was 10 seconds away from absolutely losing it. Being 19 and having a raging beast inside you makes it a little hard to control your urges, especially when your crush starts asking you about your day, validating your trauma and making promises to take care of you.
He caught his scent in the air before he could hear the firm click of his boots against the street. Atsushi turned his head towards the man who was trying to kill him and offer a wave in greeting.
Instead, he nearly fainted.
The sight of him, long limbs and wet black hair that was sticking to his forehead and catching the sunlight. Rogue raindrops sliding down the pale, ivory skin of his cheeks. Atsushi felt his soul actually leave his body as he was faced with the vision of his thin frame, the usual flowy shirt now clinging to his body, soaked from the rain. He could only look in awe as the most devastatingly beautiful thing he had ever seen continued to come forward. Soon Akutagawa was close, entirely too close, and Atsushi collapsed, choking out a desperate plea.
“Oh god…okay no…no…that’s enough. God, Akutagawa you need to stop, or you’re actually going to end me.”
Akutagawa’s spine straightened. The weretiger was bent over, hands pressed to his knees as he tried to steady his breathing. He looks flustered, exhausted, not unlike when they have previously engaged in battle. Akutagawa felt hot and his nerves buzzed with excitement, also not unlike when they have previously engaged in battle.
“Seriously…what is going on?”
“Have I succeeded weretiger? Are you thoroughly seduced?”
Atsushi froze, jaw clenched. It felt like his heart stopped for a whole minute before it began to hammer against his ribcage with the fervor of someone trying to enter a store three minutes before it opens.
“Akutagawa.” His voice was breathless. “Have…have you been trying to seduce me?” He had been letting hope gently simmer inside of him for the past while, and now it was a rolling boil.
“Of course…it had come to my attention that you have superior skills in the art of romancing. As your rival, I therefore had to surpass you.”
Atsushi felt a crack in the pot, hope starting to leak out the sides.
“Wait…so all this was just to defeat me?”
Akutagawa felt that weird pull on his chest again, hearing the despondent shift in his partner’s tone of voice. But all he could do was nod. That is why he had done all of this after all.
Atsushi grit his teeth, tears threatening to bubble over. This whole thing had been an emotional rollercoaster. It had been manageable before, just pining after Akutagawa from a far, but experiencing him as he had these past two weeks had been akin to water torture. And now, to think it had all been simply a means to remind him how inferior he was…
Something growled deep from the pit of his stomach. His eyes flashed up to lock with the stormy grey pupils of his greatest adversary, determination and fire flickering in his own heterochromatic irises. He straightened himself up, crossing his arms over his chest. As easy as it was to slip back down into thoughts like useless, not good enough, and unlovable, Atsushi had an intimate understanding of the man across from him. Sure, he was delusional, short sighted, and certifiably insane, but Akutagawa was nothing if not honest. That’s why he would make such an awful honeypot. Atsushi narrowed his gaze.
“Well, you’ve done it then Akutagawa…you’ve successfully seduced me. Now you can run along and leave me alone.”
Akutagawa felt his breath hitch, that sour taste of stomach acid arrived again to taint the back of his tongue. He scrunched his nose in confusion. Atsushi pressed on, irritation draped over every word.
“What? Aren’t you happy now? You won, didn’t you?”
But no, this didn’t feel like winning, in fact Akutagawa felt completely cheated. This felt nothing like an accomplishment, and if he went now he would be leaving not with fulfillment but emptiness. The gears in his mind turned slowly, he needed to think his way out of these feelings. Atsushi continued to stand his ground, eyes boring into him. Akutagawa let his eyes roam over the silver haired man, appraisal needed to gather more information on how to make a salve to end his incessant yearning. He took in Atsushi’s strong, lithe frame. His moonlight skin, his shimmering silver hair. His eyes rested longer on his soft lips before drowning in his criminally striking eyes.
Oh.
Oh.
Akutagawa, as cool and calm as ever, stalked over to his greatest rival. Once he had significantly shortened the distance between them, he raised his hand to rest his slender fingers on Atsushi’s jawline, tipping his head up just slightly. The weretiger raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk now on his face.
“Akutagawa…are you thinking what I think you might be thinking?”
Akutagawa met him with a similar, teasing smile.
“Of course…how many times have we tried to kill each other?”
And since neither was about to be outdone by the other, they both moved to close the remaining distance before their lips crashed together in a heated first kiss. Their rivalry apparent in the familiar push and pull, each chasing the other’s mouth with gentle biting and greedy tongues. Akutagawa buried his hands in the front of the weretiger’s shirt, pulling him closer against him. Now the coil of feelings had finally unraveled, the taste of stomach acid replaced by the sweet taste of the weretiger’s lips. Discomfort had been flushed out his body and replaced with a buzzing, intoxicating flood of desire. He felt Atsushi’s fingers grip into this hair, the other hand pressing eagerly into his lower back. He let out a satisfied sigh.
Ah, now this feels like winning.