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There was a 10-inch piece of metal shrapnel lodged in Peter's body, spanning from his left shoulder to the center of his ribs.
It hurt.
It hurt really bad.
"Be gentle with him!" Tony called out as multiple Avengers helped to lift the young boy onto the jet. Usually, only Tony was needed to support Peter's weight. But, with the fear of moving the metal further into Peter's chest, Tony strived to move Peter's physical position as little as possible.
They had been fighting in Geneva. A group of terrorists from Hydra had plans to attack officials at an international conference. The Avengers were warned ahead of time to keep an eye on the event, which was already suspected to be heated. Little did they know the foes they would have to face.
As the enemy invaded, all of the heroes fought bravely to defend everyone in the surrounding area. It was clean. Nobody was killed. Nobody was supposed to get hurt. But, as Hydra fled, a final member dropped a small detonator on a car near Peter. The machine exploded, leaving Peter in his current state.
It was hard to breathe. He didn't like all of the hands touching him at once. The shouts and murmurs flooded his ears, which were already ringing from the detonator from before.
"We're almost there, Peter, just be strong," Natasha called out to him. He could already hear the engines of the jet starting up. Happy must have been warned ahead of time, most likely by Tony, who was undoubtedly the most stressed Avenger of all. Tony already didn't want Peter too close to the action, too close to the danger. The whole reason he was by the car in the first place was Tony's ingenious plan to give Peter the least dangerous job of watching the cars in case a Hydra member attempted to hotwire one. The threat was non-existent, but little did Tony know what would eventually take place. The guilt of it was indescribable.
Eventually, they boarded the ship. The Avengers gently laid Peter on the bed in the medical section. As Peter looked up, he could see Tony, Natasha, Bucky, Bruce, Steve, Dr. Strange, and Barton all staring at him with concern. Since Peter couldn't sit up, he couldn't see the damage. But he could feel the pain and the blood trickling down.
"Alright. It's not the worst thing we've seen." Bruce analyzed as he prepared quickly. We just have to pull the shrapnel out, check for internal damage, and repair."
"Easier said than done." Dr. Strange interjected as he grabbed even more supplies at a somehow even quicker pace. "With the positioning of it, it's likely that shrapnel has hit muscle in Peter's upper arms that will need to be repaired. Not to mention any damage that could have happened to the lungs and ribs..."
The medical jargon continued on and on as the pair prepared. Everything was overstimulating. Peter could hear the doctors talking, the rustling of the paper underneath him, the jet engines, the whispers of the Avengers still staring at him with concern. He could smell the iodine Bruce was grabbing from the cabinets, strong and pungent. He was blinded by the lights and everything was just too much.
"...with those possibilities, it is best if we finish this up fast." Dr. Strange moved quickly with scissors to cut Peter's suit off.
"NO!" Peter screamed as he pushed and kicked everyone away
Everyone went quiet.
There was something Peter had been keeping from the Avenger. A secret which he never wanted them to know. A secret that would be uncovered if that shrapnel were lifted out of his chest.
Peter was trans.
And he would never let that information come to the Avenger's knowledge.
He couldn't let them see his chest.
The quiet lingered for a moment as Peter struggled to breathe.
Natasha did her best to help.
"It'll be okay, паучок. I'll stay right here. If you want, I'll hold your hand". She moved to grab Peter's hand, but Peter pulled it back- something that he never did.
She turned to the others for help.
Clint, Steve, and Bucky all attempted to comfort Peter to no avail, and Tony assured Peter that the cost of the suit meant nothing to him over Peter's safety.
Everyone was talking at once, trying to help Peter. Peter's eyes were glazed over, and afraid. He didn't comprehend a word they were saying.
Irritated and worried over the time passing, Dr. Strange was the next to speak.
"Peter, emotional outbursts are not going to change the fact that you need medical attention. If we don't get this thing out soon, you could die. Am I clear?
Peter flinched at the blunt information, causing everyone to pipe down and Tony and Natasha to give Dr. Strange a glare. They both trusted his analysis, but didn't want Peter to worry.
"Look, kiddo," Tony moved closer, "I understand that you're frightened, but the wizard here is kinda right. We need this thing outta you sooner than later, and we can't let fear get in the way of that."
Peter started sniffling. He didn't like it when Tony worried about him like this. The sniffling then turned into hyperventilating.
Tony was incredibly anxious now. He didn't want to hurt Peter, but he also didn't want Peter to be hurt.
"What do we do?" Tony whispered to Bruce and Stephen.
The pair looked at each other in a simultaneous decision.
"We can't keep waiting."
Tony understood.
He walked back over to Peter and tried his best to relay the information. At the same time, with an apt distraction in place, Bruce and Stephen placed an IV into Peter's arms.
"Peter, Banner, and Strange need to fix you up. now. I need you to cooperate with me-"
Tony's speech was blurred out by a chorus of no's from Peter, followed by a dozen or so "you can't's paired with flailing arms and legs."
Eventually, Tony gave up. And, as Peter kept denying reality, he held down Peter's arm while signaling Natasha to grab Peter's other arm and Steve and Bucky to hold down his legs.
Peter screamed. He tried squirming away to no avail as the Avenger comforted him.
Dr. Strange cut away the top of his suit. Peter could hear every snip among the loud voices of his Avengers until it stopped. He felt the air touching his chest. Everyone went silent.
Everyone saw it.
Peter stopped resisting and quietly cried as each Avenger tried to comprehend what to do. Steve and Bucky were confused. They looked to Natasha and Clint, who signalled them to look away. Natasha was surprised herself, but wanted to keep her little spider comfortable and calm in such a daunting scene.
Strange and Bruce looked to Tony for some sort of confirmation of what was going on, but Tony himself didn't know. Nobody knew. Tony signalled them to keep working.
Removing the shrapnel was painful. It was lodged deep and required a lot of repair to Peter's chest and shoulder.
In fact, everything hurt. Peter shut his eyes. And everything was too quiet. Nobody talked loudly again. Instead, Strange and Banner quietly whispered as they worked, Tony paced back and forth in a corner, trying to avoid the scene, and Steve and Bucky tried to talk to Natasha.
"I don't understand." Bucky whispered, "Aren't they a boy?"
"They have to be a girl," Steve whispered back, "If they have-"
"This is not the time for this," Natasha seethed at them as she continued to clutch Peter's hand. She knew he was awake, and she didn't want him to hear what the men were saying.
The whispers stopped, and the work continued. Peter winced when the iodine stung and the sutures pulled. He gripped Natasha's hand as she kept whispering about his bravery and strength.
He wasn't brave, though. Or strong. At least not in his opinion. If he were strong, he wouldn't have had the skills to fight with the Avengers in real combat; if he were brave, he wouldn't have been so afraid of facing his realities head-on. If he were strong, he wouldn't have the fresh scars on his chest that Bruce and Stephen were bound to see.
Eventually, the suturing stopped, and the doctors pulled Tony out of the room to talk in private. Steve and Bucky also left, leaving Natasha alone in the room with Peter, who was still crying, still shaking from past events.
"You did wonderful паучок," She whispered as she rubbed Peter's shoulder. "Just breathe and don't worry about a thing." Natasha never thought she had a motherly instinct, but every bone in her body felt a maternal kinship to Peter in the moment. She hummed to and comforted her crying spider till he fell asleep. Even then, she stayed in the room.
Eventually, Tony returned.
"Is he asleep?" Tony whispered to Natasha. She nodded back.
They both sat in silence for a while, staring at the slumbering boy. Even in sleep, he still looked terrified.
Tony eventually started speaking again.
"Bruce and I talked." He whispered as he played with Peter's hair.
"Go on," Natasha responded.
"He told me the physical damage isn't too bad. The metal was deeper in his shoulder, which isn't the best since it hit muscle, but it's better than it being deep in his chest. It was only a couple of inches deep over there, and the metal didn't damage his ribs too much, but the chest binder he was wearing did. He had some internal bleeding. A lot of bruising. But, it could be worse."
"Ok." Natasha nodded along to it all, hoping for Peter's recovery to be quick. Such a lively boy shouldn't be bound all day to a bed.
"There's another thing also," Tony murmured with concern.
"What?"
"Bruce said he has scars on his chest. Not the kind you get in a spar or fights. They were too deliberate in the pattern." Tony tensed.
"He's been harming himself?" Natasha understood immediately.
"That's the assumption." It was really the truth, but assumptions left room for doubt, which comforted Tony.
"It's probably connected to the other stuff." Natasha reasoned. She wished she could take all the pain away from Peter. But, she knew she couldn't.
"Probably," Tony whispered. The pair went silent again. Tony's foot was still bouncing. He couldn't stop thinking about everything he could have done better.
"I wish I had known," Tony whispered.
"He didn't want you to know. How could you if he kept it such a tight secret?" Natasha whispered back. She knew Tony had to be close to spiraling at this point.
"I'm his fucking father, Nat! I'm supposed to know this stuff! I'm supposed to know if he's hurting, or binding unsafely during battles, or eating enough, or- hell- any of this stuff! And I know nothing! Hell, I don't think I even know his favorite color!" Tony started tearing up, which prompted Natasha to use her free hand to comfort him.
"Don't be too hard on yourself, Stark. It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault."
"It is my fault, Nat, and I need to make it better."
Peter woke up in his own bed, not knowing the time or day. He rubbed his eyes and looked out. He realized Tony was sitting next to him, staring.
"You're awake." Tony sighed. "You feelin' okay, kiddo?"
Peter groaned.
"What time is it?"
"It's about twelve. We got to the compound yesterday around 9 p.m., but we wanted to let you sleep, so I carried you back to your bed."
Peter looked down and suddenly realized his chest was still bandaged. Bandaged in the figure of his unbound chest.
Peter suddenly pulled the blankets up to his neck, ignoring the pain that flared in him each time he moved.
"Whoa, easy there, bud. Don't hurt yourself." Tony stopped him. He adjusted the blankets to a more comfortable position that hid Peter's chest, but still gave him access to his arms.
"I...I'm sorry, Mr. Stark." Peter started crying. "I-I didn't mean to keep it a secret for so long, I just thought you would-"
"Peter, you have nothing to apologize for," Tony stated. The statement seemed to calm Peter for a moment as he listened to Tony's words.
"Kiddo, it's not my business to snoop into your life and force you to tell me things that you don't want to. And, I'm sorry you had to tell me such an important thing in such a daunting way. I don't want you to be afraid of my opinions, Peter. Please know that I love you unconditionally, no matter what you are born and or are bound to be.
Peter started crying from emotional overwhelm as Tony hugged him.
"I'm not upset about any of that stuff, Peter. But what I am worried about is your habits.
"My habits?" Peter stared in confusion until Tony elaborated.
"The scars. The bruising from binding under the suit. That is what I'm talking about. Pete, you can't hurt yourself like that." Tony pleaded.
"It's easier said than done." Peter scoffed. It's not like he wanted any of this. And Tony can't expect him to change at command.
"Then, we'll work on it", Tony reasoned. "We'll get a therapist for you. One who specializes in this stuff and can sign an NDA. And, I'll make something safer for under the suit that isn't going to give you long-term damage. Please, can we just give it a try? Tony held both of Peter's hands.
Peter didn't need to think too deeply for a response.
"We can try".