Work Text:
“I’ve been thinking, we really need to make our Christmas plans,” Julia said sleepily, her voice slightly muffled from where her head lay on his chest.
Ethan’s hand, which had been gently carding through her hair as they lay together, basking in the afterglow, as he relished the warmth and calmness of her presence, froze for a second before continuing.
“Christmas plans?” he asked carefully. She couldn’t mean-? He closed his eyes. No, that was stupid. That was the topic he’d been very deliberately not thinking about. Because as much as this relationship was everything to him, as much as Julia was everything to him, the kind of life where people wanted to spend Christmas with you wasn’t his life, not really, not anymore.
It didn’t really matter how much he’d been wishing it might be, especially since he’d quit his fieldwork. Especially because it wasn’t as if he could tell Julia he’d done that for her, or ask in some other way if she was hoping that this arrangement might become something more permanent. Not yet, anyway. He thought they were pretty much on the same page about everything, or, everything that they could talk about, but he wasn’t stupid, he knew she was slightly more hesitant than he was about everything. They told each other they loved each other all the time now, but the first few times he’d said it she’d cut him off, a brief look of panic in her eyes. And the more serious he found things getting, the less risks he felt willing to take.
But that wasn’t the point. The point was that a quiet Christmas, with decorations and presents and nice food and people he cared about hadn’t been on the table for him for a long time. He was naive for the brief flash of hope that this year might be different from the last. She was just going to tell him that she was going to be spending time with her family and ask what his plans were. That was all. Wasn’t it?
“Yeah, my mom called while you were out,” Julia replied, levering herself up so she could look at him properly. She was beautiful in the half light of their- of her - bedroom, her hair mussed and her lips ever so slightly swollen from the sheer length of time they’d spent kissing since he’d got in from work. “She wanted to know if we’d be spending the day together and visiting another time, or if we would both be coming over to spend the day with her and the rest of my family.”
“You want to spend Christmas with me?”
Julia laughed, her smile making her look more beautiful than ever, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Ethan, for someone who’s so smart, sometimes you can be so dense.” She shook her head, cupping the side of his face. “You’ve practically moved in here with me. Of course I want to spend it with you.”
He was pretty sure his heart stopped for a second as he stared back at her, hope flaring in his chest. Sometimes, even after five months of knowing her, he found it hard to believe that he was meant to be a part of the conversations that normal people had. So, as much as he wanted to believe her, he had to check. “But don’t you want to spend it with your family? I don’t want to intrude if you have plans?”
“You’re not intruding, Ethan, you’re my boyfriend, I want you to spend it with me, whether that’s by ourselves or with my family.” Her expression faltered and she bit her lip, and he found a sudden surge of worry seeping into his chest. “That is, if you want to? You haven’t made any plans with Luther like you did for Thanksgiving, have you?”
He shook his head. “Jules, of course I want to spend it with you,” he told her, propping himself up to press his lips softly against hers. “Luther was a one-time thing because he was getting over a bad break-up. Trust me, he’ll be spending Christmas in some luxury resort on a tropical island, he won’t want me tagging along.”
Technically, Ethan had spent thanksgiving with Luther, on his final mission before his retirement from the field. He’d been shot at, gently berated by Luther for giving his life up for a girl he’d known for less than half a year, fallen off a roof, been told all about his friend’s failed relationships, and shot at some more. At least they’d managed to buy some very dry turkey sandwiches.
Julia hummed, her voice turning teasing. “You know, Luther is still very welcome to pop by some time. I would like to meet your only friend.”
Ethan’s mouth dropped open in mock outrage. “Hey, I have other friends!”
“Sure,” Julia laughed, smiling against his lips as she kissed him again. “Well I’d be happy to meet them too, you know.”
She was teasing him, but her teasing was pointed, and another thing that Ethan wasn’t exactly sure what to do about. He knew it was one of the things that Julia thought was weird, the fact that she’d seen him socialise with ease, but he could never talk about any actual current friendships. He knew that now he was out of the field, he’d need to brave getting into a routine, joining a climbing or jujitsu class and getting to know people. He knew there was always the option of introducing her to some of his actual colleagues, but the thought always made him shiver. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them but… well, he didn’t trust them, not with this part of his life. He also didn’t trust that they wouldn’t give something away.
The good thing about telling Julia he’d been with the Virginia Department for a decade was that she had told him she worked in a hospital nearby, and their chance meeting at Lake Wanaka had blossomed into a relationship that he felt immensely grateful for every day. The bad thing about having added on the ten years was that he didn’t have any excuses such as ‘I just moved into the area and haven’t really gotten to know anyone yet’.
“What did you do for Christmas last year?” she asked, voice warm, tracing a line over his chest.
He linked his hand with hers. “I went to a party, and then I went climbing with the friends I made there.” It was a somewhat honest reply. He had been infiltrating a very fancy party, attended by a large number of millionaires with sketchy dealings. And being hung upside down off the side of a mansion while they attempted to extract information from him counted as climbing, kind of. The mission had been a success in the end anyway. “What did you do?”
Julia sighed. “Oh, I was working,” she shot him a wry smile. “Still, doing the Christmas shifts last year means that I get to spend this year with you.”
Ethan found himself grinning at her words, the full weight of the situation crashing down on him, that this might be the first Christmas in years where he would be celebrating with someone who actually wanted to spend time with him.
The Christmases back on the farm seemed a very long time ago, and the happy memories of the few years with his team were now coloured by Jim and Claire’s betrayal. He’d spent Christmas with Luther, once, but that had been hiding in a snow-filled ditch in Lithuania, trying and failing not to get hyperthermia. Mostly he just spent the season working, infiltrating various groups as the alcohol and holiday spirit loosened tongues and had people spilling secrets that would otherwise have kept close to their chests.
“So, we’re spending it together then?” Ethan clarified, aware from the pull of his cheeks that he was still beaming up at her.
Julia huffed out a laugh, expression adoring in the way that Ethan hoped he always looked at her.
“Yes,” she promised, before kissing him gently again. “Together.”