Chapter Text
Peter Pettigrew was bad at keeping secrets. He couldn’t help that he was honest to a fault or that keeping anything from the people he loved stressed him out. And yeah, it did hurt his feelings a bit when he was the last to know something but he knew it was for the best as his friends knew how much keeping a secret weighed on him.
So he had absolutely no fathomable clue why one of his very good friends James Potter would put himself in a situation in which a hazardous secret he was keeping could potentially be revealed.
It all started during a random room check by none other than Lily Evans, Head Girl of Gryffindor House.
Lily didn’t want to be doing this room check any more than Peter wanted her rummaging through their things but duty called. Though Peter had the sneaking suspicion one Severus Snape might have tipped off Professor McGonagall who was making Lily do this check in the first place. He knew they should have listened to Remus and held off on pranking the Slytherins for a while just until they were thrown off the scent but James and Sirius loved the thrill a little bit too much.
“Don’t you think this is a bit invasive?” Peter tried. “We haven’t done anything wrong!”
Lily whipped around and silenced him with a glare. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”
Peter’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, fair point. But you could at least let James look. This is the boy’s dormitories!” Honestly the thought of a girl, even if she was one of their very good friends, opening his drawers and potentially sifting through his undergarments made him extremely uncomfortable.
“You and I both know that James cannot be trusted to investigate his own dormroom and I promise you, Peter, I will be in and out and I will be absolutely respectful.” He didn’t doubt that. What he was more worried about was if Sirius had managed to dispose of all the evidence fast enough once Remus had gotten wind of this “surprise” inspection. “Or would you prefer I go get a male professor and he does a full sweep of your dorm?” Lily raised a brow at him. “I’m sure one would be much more likely to reveal all your dirty little secrets rather than turn a blind eye, hm?”
And Peter really couldn’t argue with that. Lily may have been Head Girl but she was also their friend and she really wasn’t as much as an uptight teacher’s pet that people tried to make her out to be. Though he wouldn’t say she let them get away with everything but if she knew it was to protect someone or they had a very good reason, Lily was more likely to be lenient. So Peter supposed he really would have preferred Lily Evans at his door than any other snooty professor who would dole out a much bigger punishment than she would suggest.
Peter sighed, conceding to his friend’s very good points. As usual. “Just open the door.”
Lily smiled brightly at him. “Very well.” Her hand twisted the knob and carefully pushed the door open. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”
“Be my guest, we have nothing to hide.” Peter said confidently and he thought for sure he was telling the truth.
Lily entered the room and immediately made a choking sound. “Is that so?” She cleared her throat. “Then how do you explain this?”
“Explain what—” Peter stepped in right behind her, expecting to see the room in its usual disarray, maybe a little bit more ransacked as Sirius must have been in a hurry moments prior.
But what he saw was so much worse.
James Potter who he had not seen since breakfast that morning and had not known the whereabouts of since was currently in the process of taking his shirt off. Now this was nothing new, Peter had seen all of his friends in various stages of undress after sharing a room with the three other males for the past six years. What was unusual, however, was that he was unbuttoning his shirt on top of one Regulus Black.
Regulus Black, Sirius’ little brother.
Regulus Black the Slytherin.
Regulus Black who had his hand down James Potter’s pants.
The two froze in their state and stared at the two in the doorway. Lily said nothing. James looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Regulus looked like he also wanted to say something but none of it would be polite. It felt like they were frozen in time, all staring at each other uncomfortably.
Peter who hoped he was dreaming, spoke first. “I can’t,” he squeaked. “I don’t think anyone in the history of anything can possibly explain that.”
“Get out,” Regulus finally said in a gruff voice, dropping his legs from where they’d been wrapped around the backs of James’ thighs.
“This…this is my room,” Peter bravely pointed out. Brave because Regulus scared him like most of the Slytherins did.
“Please get out,” James pleaded, closing his eyes like he wanted to disappear. He sat up slowly and ran a hand through his already mussed up hair. Peter hated the image that came to mind at possible reasons why it was messed up in the first place. “Come back in five minutes.”
“Or not at all,” Regulus suggested.
“I—why?” Peter spluttered.
James pinched the bridge of his nose, face turning redder the longer he sat there. “Because I am not answering the many questions you no doubt have with a fucking hard on. So please leave and come back in five minutes.”
Regulus snorted. “It is going to take way longer than five minutes to—”
James slapped a hand over his mouth. “Peter? Lily? Please.”
Lily suddenly sobered up. “Right. Of course. Five minutes. Take your time.” And she shoved Peter through the door and shut it gently behind her. Peter went willingly, never wanting to leave his room more in his life.
Peter hoped he’d accidentally fallen down the stairs on their way up and that what just occurred was a hallucination from a head injury. But he couldn’t deny how much sense it made after everything that had occurred the past few months. James looking longingly at the Slytherin table. The map randomly disappearing and reappearing in odd spots. How Regulus’ trash talk on the Quidditch pitch had begun to lack their usual snark lately. It was all coming together and Peter thought he might be sick.
“Well then.” Lily cleared her throat. “I suppose I will just tell Professor McGonagall that I found nothing and the four of you are off the hook. And do tell James that his secret is safe with me.” She patted him on the shoulder and begun walking back but Peter stopped her.
“Wait! You’re just gonna leave me here?” He really didn’t want to face what was on the other side of that door once the five minutes were up but he especially didn’t want to face it alone. “What if Regulus hexes me?!”
“I highly doubt he will hex you. And I do apologize but this is hardly my business. What James does in the privacy of his dorm room does not concern me.”
“You’re the one who was doing an inspection!” Peter exclaimed.
She shrugged. “And I should have knocked, that’s on me. Now if you’ll excuse me…” she begun walking away again and did not turn around when Peter yelled “Lily!” indignantly.
“Three minutes, Peter. Good luck.” Was all he heard from her before she was gone and he was alone.
Peter was torn between begging her to take him with her and never opening that door again for as long as he lived. Except for the part where behind that door was all of his stuff. And James who was one of his best friends. And Regulus who also had a dorm room they could have done these things in. Maybe if they had, Peter could have lived a much better and longer life. Too bad it was about to be cut short by one of the Blacks. Regulus who was clearly irritated he’d been found out or Sirius who would kill him and James for keeping such a secret. Well, at least Remus was safe. Peter hoped Remus would tell his story and paint him as a hero who had committed the most unfortunate crime of not knocking on his own door as the thought was so foolish it hadn’t occurred to him.
He decided to wait seven minutes instead of five if only to give James time to talk Regulus into not murdering him. Then he knocked politely on the door, feeling very silly.
“You don’t have to knock, Pettigrew.” Regulus called in a surprisingly polite voice. “We are decent.”
Peter pushed the door open carefully, his other hand covering his eyes just to be safe.
“We’re wearing clothes, Pete.” James said amused. “And we’re, um, sorry you had to see that.”
“Really sorry. Where’s Evans?” Regulus asked.
Peter took his hand off his eyes and shut the door quietly as this definitely felt like a private conversation. “She abandoned me,” he said pitifully. “But she said your secret is safe with her.”
James breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good.” He patted Regulus’ knee. “We can trust Lily.”
Regulus had his arms crossed and shook the other’s hand off, crossing one leg over the other. “And what about your friend?” He narrowed his eyes at Peter.
James bit his lip. “Pete?” His friend looked at him pleadingly.
Peter’s heart beat quick in his anxiety as he stared between the…couple? Were they even a couple? Or was it just sex? He didn’t know which was worse. What would Sirius prefer? “Um…” he trailed off unable to answer the loaded question. He knew what James and Regulus wanted to hear. Unfortunately, what he also knew was that the next time he saw Sirius, his palms would get sweaty and his throat would close up and he’d end up blurting it all out. “Listen, James. You know I love you—”
“Oh, Merlin.” James groaned, knowing where Peter was going with this. “Please, Peter? I am begging you. Don’t tell Sirius.”
“I won’t,” Peter amended, already feeling his palms sweating and his ears heating.
Regulus and James seemed to breathe out at the same time. “But I have to tell someone.” Yes, this seemed like a good idea to Peter. If he could just get it out of him, then maybe he could remain tight lipped when he saw Sirius later.
“Fine,” Regulus said, clearly trying his best to remain calm.
“Really?” Peter exhaled. It was shocking that Regulus was the one who spoke up instead of James.
“Really?” James repeated, also surprised.
Regulus rolled his eyes. “If it will keep him quiet then I don’t mind one more person knowing about us. I mean, all of my friends know anyway.”
“They do?” Peter questioned.
“Yes.” Regulus fixed him with a glare. “Because my friends aren’t a bunch of bumbling idiots who can’t keep shit to themselves.”
“Uncalled for,” James mumbled.
“Oh please, the whole castle knows when a Gryffindor breathes wrong. I’m surprised it took us this long to be found out.” Regulus crossed his arms.
“So I can tell someone?” Peter brought them back on track, trying not to feel hurt at what Regulus was implying about their house.
“Sure,” James agreed. “Just not Sirius.” Him pointing that out was so unnecessary that it had even Peter rolling his eyes.
“Well, obviously. I’m not an idiot.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Regulus muttered.
James nudged his knee with his own. “Baby, be nice.”
Regulus elbowed him in the ribs. “Don’t call me that in front of him.”
James only smiled at him adoringly and Peter had to ask, suddenly feeling brave. “So…are the two of you…” he trailed off not sure if he could even say the words out loud.
“Dating?” Regulus finished for him and then scoffed. “As if.”
“Okay, you didn’t have to say it like that.” James honestly looked offended and Peter felt the same on his behalf. James was a catch and anyone would be lucky to have him.
“We’ve been over this.” Regulus looked exasperated and Peter really didn’t want to know what they’d been over. Then he stood, wiping his hands on his trousers. “And anyway, I’m gonna go now. Pettigrew I’m choosing to trust you, please don’t make me obliviate you. And you,” he whirled around to look at James, almost shy. “I—I’ll see you later.” he mumbled the last part, face flushing before he hurried out of the room. James grinned after him and Peter wondered if it really was just physical or if his friend was about to get his heart broken.
James then let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. His tie was missing and he’d missed a few buttons on his shirt but he looked like he couldn’t be happier. Peter supposed that was all that mattered.
He waited patiently for Regulus to get far enough away from their dorm so as not to hear him when he said, “You know this is going to blow up in your face, right?”
James tore his eyes away from the space Regulus had once been. “I knew that the minute I kissed him. But I just couldn’t stop, you know?”
No, Peter did not know. How could James have possibly thought it was a good idea to kiss and then subsequently bed his best mate’s younger brother? Even worse how could Peter be expected to keep that to himself?
One person. He could tell one person. Peter knew that one person needed to be chosen wisely.
“Would Regulus really obliviate me?” He had to ask.
James only laughed and that did nothing to soothe Peter’s nerves. “Who knows,” he replied dreamily and Peter felt like that wasn’t very reassuring.
***
Peter was acting strangely, Remus Lupin thought. Well, Peter had always been strange. In a good way, of course. They loved him, but Remus sometimes feared that much like himself, the odd boy with the fidgeting hands and shy nature would have been lost without the practical adoption of the eccentric Sirius Black and James Potter. Remus counted them both lucky, himself especially as he had one Sirius Black in question all to himself. The love of his life. The one he most wanted to protect. His one weakness.
And Remus Lupin would consider himself an analytical and practical person, a keen observer. So naturally, he had noticed that James snuck off at strange hours of the day, suspiciously taking the map with him, and always seeming to have an explanation at the ready of his whereabouts. Remus wasn’t stupid either, he knew James must have been seeing someone but thought it to be none of his business. If James wanted him to know, he would tell him himself. Besides, he had his own love and problems to worry about. Not that he and Sirius were having problems. No, they were absolutely perfect.
Which is why he wished he never opened his damned mouth.
Remus, the kind and gentle soul that he was was beginning to worry about Peter. After learning of Lily’s random inspection that had Sirius in a tizzy and throwing all of their pranking materials in the Black Lake, Peter had been acting weird. Remus himself at the time was in the middle of a rendezvous with Sirius once he was satisfied with his work. He had no idea where James had been but when they returned to the room, Peter looked quite shaken up while James had suddenly appeared and lay on his bed as though there was nothing out of the ordinary.
And Remus wouldn’t have thought anything of it if it weren’t for the way Peter somehow couldn’t meet James’ eye even days later. James looked like he was pretending not to notice but occasionally their eyes would meet and then they’d both look away like they’d gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Remus had even seen James whispering to Lily in the common room to which her face turned pink and she grasped his arm to pull him away privately. He very much hoped they were not getting involved again, that did not end well for either of them and they had only just recently become friends.
It was on a day that Peter and Remus would find themselves alone in the room together that he decided he would confront his friend with what might be troubling him. Sirius was on his way to meet up with his younger brother, Regulus, as the two of them would train on the Quidditch pitch together that morning. Remus was quite proud of his boyfriend who swallowed his pride and made the effort to reach out to his brother again to which Regulus cautiously agreed. Now the two had “bonding time” as Sirius called it and they would often train together even though they were on separate teams and Regulus liked to think of himself as superior to his brother’s playing style as he had just been made captain at the beginning of the semester. Sirius, bless him, didn’t even care. He was just so happy his brother had given him the time of day and allowed them to bond and go back to being loving brothers again.
And of course, on this day, James’ whereabouts were unknown.
Sirius kissed Remus goodbye and shut the door behind him as he went off to pick his brother up from Slytherin House. Remus got comfortable on his bed, opening up a book he had borrowed from Lily. He made it through a few pages before he felt eyes on him. He looked up to see Peter staring at him before the other instantly looked down at the textbook he clearly wasn’t focusing on.
Remus decided now was as good a time as any and closed his book, setting it beside him and addressing his friend. “Peter? Is there something wrong?”
The boy startled as though Remus had asked a very personal question. “No, why do you say that?” He let out a bout of nervous laughter.
Remus shifted on his bed. “You’ve been acting strangely these past few days. And something tells me it might have to do with James.”
Peter laughed humourlessly again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who’s James?”
Okay, now Remus definitely knew something was up. He stood and walked over to his friend, leaning down and speaking to him gently. “Peter. If something happened, you can tell me. Did James do something?” He didn’t want to think it but over the years James and Sirius had been known to be accidentally cruel. Remus wouldn’t put it past him to have unintentionally offended Peter in some way.
Peter looked at him then looked away then looked at the ceiling. Then he ran his hands down his face and groaned. “Not exactly. I just—you—he—I—I can’t tell you.” He said the last part defeatedly and Remus’ heart went out to him.
“Why not?” He tried calmly. “You can trust me, you know.”
“I know that,” Peter replied honestly. “But this is big and I just can’t tell—” he stopped himself and then a wide grin spread across his face. “—wait, yes I can tell you!”
Remus shuffled from foot to foot, unsure how to handle this sudden change in demeanor. “Okay…”
“I have a secret,” Peter blurted.
“Well, I figured that much. You are sweating an awful lot, mate.” Remus said not unkindly. He could see the pit stains from a mile away.
“Well it is a very vexing secret…” Peter trailed off. “...about James. This is big and no one can know but he has permitted me to tell a single soul.”
Remus supposed that made sense. Peter was so very bad at keeping secrets that they tried not to tell him anything uber important. The boy had issues in which he would sweat profusely and eventually spit it out just to get if off his chest. Honesty to a fault that one. If the secret was really that big, James had done a kindness in granting Peter this one blessing.
“Alright,” Remus said with a smile. “You can tell me if you like. I am very good with secrets.” And he was, except for one tiny hitch.
Peter took a deep breath. “And you can’t tell anyone. Especially not Sirius.”
Remus’ smile immediately dropped. “Oh…Peter. You know I can’t do that.”
Remus didn’t know when he had become so weak for Sirius Black but in the year and a half the two had been dating, they had developed a sense of loyalty that could not be broken. Remus had become loyal to a fault. If he had one weakness, it was Sirius. For two people who hated themselves but loved the other more than anyhing and would do whatever they could to ensure their relationship never faltered, they had agreed on one thing: they would not lie or keep things from one another. And Remus had kept that promise and he could not break it now.
“Why not?” Peter screeched. “I’m dying here.”
“I’m sorry Peter, but you know I can't keep a secret from Sirius. No matter how small. And you said this was a big one so please just leave me out of it.” Remus hated himself for leaving his friend in his misery but he loved Sirius more.
He made to move for the door but Peter stood and grasped his wrist. “Remus, please. I’m begging you! I need to tell someone!”
“I don’t want to know, tell someone else!” Remus tried to escape but Peter held on tight.
“I can’t! You’re here and I can’t take it anymore so we’re doing this!”
“Peter! No!” Remus tried to put his hands over his ears but he wasn’t fast enough.
“Regulus and James are sleeping together!”
Remus paused, his breathing ragged. He could hear his heart beating in his ears. “Fuck,” he breathed. “Why would you do that to me? What have I ever done?” He was never going to offer his assistance ever again.
“I’m sorry,” Peter said and he genuinely sounded remorseful. “I caught them in here the other day and I just couldn’t fathom it on my own. Lily knows too but she’s a lot better at keeping it together than I am.” Then he added as an afterthought, “And Regulus’ friends also know.”
Merlin, how many people were caught in James and Regulus’ shenanigans?
Remus sat on his bed again, hands shaking. “Who else knows?”
“Everyone but Sirius.”
“Fuck,” Remus said again. This was bad. This was so very bad. Sirius was going to kill James. Hell, Remus was going to kill James. Did he have to stick his dick in the one person who was off limits? He could have had anyone but he chose his best friend’s little brother? After they just reconciled? Was James mad at all of them?
“I know,” Peter winced. “The whole world is topsy turvy. It’s like up is down. Up is the new down.”
Remus put his hand on his face. He could feel himself break out into a sweat. What the fuck was he going to tell Sirius?
He didn’t have to wait long for the answer to that question because his boyfriend in the flesh decided that moment to walk through the door.
***
Regulus Black didn’t know what the fuck he was thinking.
It was all James Potter’s fault really. James and his stupid doe eyes and kind smile. How his glasses never looked clean no matter how many times Regulus cleaned them for him and the big dopey grin he’d get when he did. Merlin, the way James looked at him. Regulus should have ended things after that first kiss. He just couldn’t help himself and James looked so fucking good after that Quidditch match, all sweaty and neck unbitten. He just needed a taste and then he’d go back to trying to pretend the hot bespectacled boy didn’t exist.
But kissing turned into biting turned into scratching turned into fucking and Regulus couldn’t get enough. He’d never done anything he wasn’t supposed to, never kept a secret this big from his brother who he used to share everything with. Sleeping with his brother’s best friend gave him a rush he couldn’t get rid of. And the more he spent time with James, the more he started to look forward to their little meetings. The “Same time tomorrow?” along with scheduled meetings and notes passed and how James always signed his with a heart. Yeah, Regulus was doomed from the beginning. He could quit whenever he wanted and it wasn’t like he was addicted. If James came to him one day and said he was done, it’d be no sweat off Regulus’ back.
Oh, who was he kidding?
“Reggie!” Barty Crouch Jr. ripped open the curtains on Regulus’ bed, breaking him and James of their morning goodbye make out. “I hate to break this up, I really do,” he said with mock sarcasm. “But your idiot brother is at our door.”
Regulus pulled away, holding back his smile when James tried to chase him with his lips. “Fuck. You should hide.”
“Where? In the closet?” Barty smirked.
Regulus threw a pillow at him which he dodged and caught with one hand before it hit Evan who was still sound asleep in Barty’s bed. “Under the bed?”
James nodded and then pecked his lips once and Regulus tried not to savor it. “Okay.”
Regulus carefully removed himself from the other’s lap, ignoring how cold he suddenly felt. James hopped off the bed and rolled under it as quickly as he could.
Regulus moved towards the door but Barty stopped him. “As much as I’d love to enjoy the shit show, you might wanna remove the Gryffindor jersey.”
Shit. He’d forgotten he fell asleep in it. There was no time to change his shirt so he just whipped it off over his head and tossed it to the floor, kicking it under the bed to James.
He looked down to see if there were any visible marks and saw a hickey on his lower abdomen. Goddammit, James. Sirius was most likely getting impatient behind that door and was probably five seconds away from just coming in. It was surprising that he hadn’t pushed past Barty opening the door in the first place, but they had boundaries now. So Regulus only slapped a hand over the mark to hide it, ignoring Barty’s snicker, and opened the door.
It was an olive branch Regulus wanted to take back that gave him access to their common room. Sirius had never looked so bright this early in the morning. He was practically bouncing with excitement.
“Reggie!” He exclaimed when Regulus revealed himself.
“Hey bro, what’s up?” Regulus winced at his own attempts to remain casual. He never called Sirius bro.
Sirius thankfully didn’t notice the odd greeting. “Hey! Why aren’t you dressed? Did you forget we were training together?”
Yes, Regulus had forgotten. In his attempts to keep his time with James and Sirius separate, he had completely forgotten that he’d asked his brother to train with him for the upcoming Quidditch match that weekend. His first debut as official captain of the team. Sirius was so proud of him and offered all his tips and tricks that Regulus was grateful for. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous for the match lest he mess up leading his team and they lose to the Ravenclaws. That would be humiliating.
“I, um…right now?” Regulus had no words to explain why he wasn’t up for it right this second. Because how the hell was he going to get James out of there without his brother seeing?
“Yes, right now!” Sirius exclaimed. “The pitch is only empty this early and we need to get there before James claims it for himself! That smarmy bastard was already out of bed before me!” It was said with affection. James was known for being ruthless on the pitch and Sirius loved him for it, following the captain on the field no questions asked as he led them to victory every time. Well, almost every time. Regulus was just as ruthless and would die before he let his own brother and bed mate beat him.
“Oh, let him have it. He’s probably already there,” Regulus lied, knowing full well that James was trying not to laugh under that bed.
“Are you sure?” Sirius questioned. “Wait, are you okay? You’re holding your stomach and you look very flushed.” He put his hands on Regulus’ face, feeling his forehead and cheeks.
Regulus tightened his grip around his abdomen, ensuring the hickey was still unseen. He pulled away from his brother’s concerned touches. “I’m fine. Just a little hungover.”
“Hungover?” Sirius repeated, clearly trying to hide his judgement. They had agreed at one point that Regulus was old enough to make his own bad choices and Sirius wouldn’t act like a mom about it. And obviously there were some things he had to keep to himself because brothers shouldn’t know that much about each other.
“Yeah, Dorcas drank me under the table last night. I think I’ll be fine if I just rest a little bit. We can go in the afternoon, maybe?” Regulus hated lying to his brother. They had just got their relationship back on track and here he was keeping secrets. It put a sour taste in his mouth.
“Sure, okay.” Sirius gave his arm a squeeze. “Feel better. I’ll see you later. Love you.”
“Love you too,” Regulus smiled genuinely. It took a lot to get them both comfortable saying it. He shut the door and leaned against it, breathing out a sigh.
“You’re a pathetic liar,” Evan finally awoke, having heard the whole thing. Regulus regretted ever letting his best friends know about his affair with James. Because they were both nosy and had opinions that he hated admitting were valid. They were both against the sneaking around with a Gryffindor who they hated. But Regulus could never keep anything from them. They were too perceptive for their own good and Regulus was much better at silencing charms than James. Plus his roommates were more likely to mind their own business when it came to what happened behind closed doors. James’ weird group were way too codependent and obsessed with each other.
“This is going to blow up in your face soon,” Barty said for the thousandth time since he found out.
“Yes, I know.” Regulus sighed.
“That was close,” James said, rolling out from under the bed.
Evan shrieked, having not known of the “intruder”, and scrambled for his wand. “Gryffindor in our room! Kill it!”
Barty put his arm out in front of the other protectively like James was a threat.
Regulus glared at them both. “Guys, we talked about this. Manners.”
Evan relaxed once he realized they weren’t in any danger. He cleared his throat and said politely and robotically, “Hello, Potter.”
“Hi,” James replied amused, leaning against Regulus’ bed. He’d unfortunately put the jersey Regulus had kicked to him back on while he was under there.
Regulus leaned his head back against the door, thinking back to his conversation with his brother. Guilt swirled in his gut and something told him his whole world was about to fall apart.
***
Sirius Black thought everyone around him was acting weird. It started with James who it had seemed like had been avoiding him the past few months. They were still best mates of course, but it often felt like James didn’t want to be around him for very long periods. And Sirius knew he himself had been preoccupied with his relationship with Moony but he would always make time for Prongs. Merlin, he hoped they weren’t growing a part.
Then there was Regulus who always had an excuse for why he couldn’t come out sometimes. Sirius couldn’t be happier that his relationship with his brother was finally fixed and they could hang out just the two of them. Regulus had just begun to put down his walls, allowing himself to lean into his brother’s touch and letting himself break his composure. It was like a breath of fresh air, the two confiding in each other like when they were kids. The pair of them against the world. Only recently it started to feel like they were taking a step backwards. Regulus was dodgy about his whereabouts and often snapped at Sirius to mind his own business when he inquired about him. Sirius thought the attitude was uncalled for when he just wanted to make sure his baby brother was alright. But if it was what he wanted, he would give him his space until he was ready to talk about it.
And Peter and Lily were acting even stranger this past week. One more than the other. Lily still seemed her normal self though she’d begun getting closer to James lately as though she felt more comfortable around him now since their break up. Sirius hoped this was a good step in them getting back together as he hated seeing his best mate all alone. Peter was another case entirely, outright not speaking to Sirius all of a sudden. Whenever he entered a room, his friend would find a reason to leave. Sirius would be lying if he said it didn’t sting.
Had he done something to upset them all? If so, he needed to apologize. Maybe he could speak to Remus about it. He was so glad he could count on him. Everything seemed perfectly normal in his perfect relationship based on healthy communication. A relationship neither of them thought they were capable of. Yes, he would speak to Remus. The calm and rational love of his life.
Or at least he was normally calm and rational until Sirius opened the door that morning.
It hadn’t even been an hour since he left his boyfriend and close friend alone in the room together. Peter had not said a word to him and seemed like he was sweating a lot more than usual. Sirius briefly wondered if Remus would offer to open a window for him so it would be less warm even though he felt their room was just the right temperature. When he returned from his failed attempt at bonding with his brother, the entire vibe of the room had changed.
Remus was sitting on his bed with a hand over his face, hair a bit of a mess and leg bouncing anxiously. Peter looked to be sweating more than before and his cheeks were flushed. They both startled when Sirius opened the door, staring at him wide-eyed. James was nowhere to be found having not even been in his bed that morning. Sirius had figured he was training early as well and had been looking forward to catching him on the pitch before Regulus had cancelled on him.
“Hey!” Remus spoke first, way more enthusiastic than normal. “You’re back early!”
Peter cleared his throat dramatically but didn’t speak.
“Yeah,” Sirius replied dejectedly. “Regulus cancelled on me again. I don’t know what’s been up with him lately. He said he was hungover but last night he told me he was going to bed early. Plus he said Dorcas drank him under the table but I just passed her and she looked completely fine.”
“That is so Regulus,” Peter spoke up loudly. Sirius stared at him in confusion.
“Maybe he’s seeing someone,” Remus suggested. Peter kicked him in the shin. “I mean…not like that.” He stood suddenly. “Sirius, darling. Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in the light?”
Okay the loony crew got Remus. “Um, thank you?” Remus was now acting very weird. Was this an elaborate prank by the Slytherins? Was James about to burst in singing showtunes?
Remus came closer and looped an arm around his waist. “Because you really are just so gorgeous and I love you so much.”
Sirius went into his arms willingly and allowed himself to be kissed breathless. He immediately wrapped his arms around his neck. When they pulled away, Remus was staring at him with an odd look in his eye and not the sultry kind he was used to. “Wow,” Sirius breathed, dopey and in love. Then he snapped out of it and shoved his boyfriend away from him. “What’s going on? Why are you acting like this?” Remus never kissed him in front of others nor was he incredibly affectionate. The most anyone caught him doing was staring at Sirius longingly even though he was sitting right next to him. Remus believed in modesty and being feral behind closed doors.
“Acting like what?” Remus tried to look the picture of innocence and failed miserably.
Sirius scoffed. “It’s not even close to a full moon and Peter is sweating like a pig. So out with it, you two. What’s the big secret?”
“Be cool,” Peter hissed to Remus under his breath and he never thought Peter of all people would be trying to convince Remus to keep a secret. Which meant it involved Sirius somehow and it was only a matter of time before he spilled it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Remus crossed his arms and looked anywhere but at him.
“Remus John Lupin,” Sirius deadpanned. “You don’t keep secrets from me. What about trust? Does our agreement mean nothing to you?”
“Don’t do that!” Remus shouted. Remus never shouted. This secret really was big. “You’re playing dirty.”
Sirius shrugged. In a way, his boyfriend was right. Remus loved Sirius more than life itself and trust was the one thing they had that was important. And Sirius was going to use that against him. “I just don’t understand why my loving boyfriend of a year and a half can’t tell me the truth.” He went as far as to look up and then back at Remus with watery eyes.
Remus looked at him and then at Peter. “I have nothing to say.”
“Really?” Sirius said in mock surprise. “You have absolutely nothing to tell me? Me? The love of your life? The one who trusts you not to keep things from me?”
Remus shifted from foot to foot. They were in a staring contest, neither of them wanting to back down.
“Stay strong, mate.” Peter put his hand on Remus’ shoulder. Oh the dramatics. Two could play at that game.
“Remus…” Sirius stressed in a disappointed tone he knew worked on Regulus too.
Remus bit his lip and then sighed and right then Sirius knew he won. “James and Regulus are sleeping together.”
“WHAT?!” Sirius took a step back in surprise. Out of all the things he expected, it absolutely was not that. He didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know what to say.
“Come on!” Peter groaned.
“I told you not to tell me!” Remus yelled. “You know I’m weak!”
“You certainly are!”
Their argument was interrupted by James, the source of their problem. He entered their room and Sirius turned to look at him. That morning, James had been his best friend in the entire world, practically his other half. Now…now he was a dead man.
“Hey guys…” he trailed off, immediately sensing the tension in the room.
Sirius rounded on him, not even giving him a moment of peace. “James Fleamont Potter! My little brother?! Really?!”
James looked like a deer in headlights. Very fitting for him. He swallowed then looked over at Peter and then at Remus, piecing it together in his mind what had just occurred before he entered. “Peter of all the people you could have told, you picked Remus?”
“It slipped out,” he mumbled.
“It absolutely did not,” Remus grumbled. “I tried to remain ignorant.”
“You asked me what was wrong!” Peter accused.
“And I will certainly not be doing that again.” Remus crossed his arms.
“All of you shut up,” Sirius somehow said calmly. They all shut their mouths instantly. “I am going to go retrieve my darling brother and when I return, I demand an explanation for what the fuck is happening in this room.”
***
James Potter never should have opened that door. Well, actually he never should have kissed Regulus Black but Regulus kissed him first and how could he tell him no when he was perfect and handsome and everything James dreamed. Did he regret not telling Sirius immediately? Yes absolutely he did. What they were doing crossed so many friendship lines and they both knew that Sirius would go ballistic if he found out.
But he’d be lying if he said the secrecy didn’t give him a little bit of a thrill. Yes it was wrong. Yes he was betraying his best friend’s trust. But Regulus was so hot with his hand over James’ mouth and he tasted like mint chocolate and was so fucking sexy that he couldn’t stop. It was only supposed to be the one time except Regulus caught James without a shirt on too many times to control himself. And James would be lying if he said it wasn’t on purpose. It was like an addiction. One that neither of them were ready to confront.
Until they were forced to because his friends who he loved dearly could not do one simple thing.
Sirius stood front and center in the middle of their dorm room after dragging Regulus there practically kicking and screaming. He’d literally had him by the scruff of his neck like a kitten and it was so adorable, James almost cooed before Regulus shot him a look that told him this situation was all his fault.
Which fair because they wouldn’t even have been caught if James hadn’t convinced Regulus to go into his room because he was so tired of closets lately and wanted to be alone with him for once without the threat of Barty and Evan bursting in to purposefully ruin their moment. Excuse him for trying to be a gentleman even though Regulus wanted nothing to do with the kindness James kept trying to offer him. He constantly scoffed at any sweet or romantic gesture James was trying to make but it was always with a smile he couldn’t hide and it made him keep doing it.
The four of them sat on James’ bed side by side in silence. He felt like they were about to be scolded by their mother. Sirius was just standing there, one arm around his middle and a hand on his jaw. He wasn’t even looking at them as though he couldn’t stand the sight. James didn’t blame him. He probably felt the most guilty out of all of them anyway. Regulus looked bored and impatient. Remus looked like he wanted to run. And Peter seemed as though he might vomit any second. James really wished the poor lad had been left out of it. Secrets often took a large toll on him.
Surprisingly, it was calm cool and collected Regulus who couldn’t take the silence any longer. “Will you just say something?”
Sirius finally looked at them, assessing them all one by one. He dropped his hand from his mouth and inhaled and exhaled once as though he were trying to calm himself down. “How…just…how?”
“I don’t know,” Regulus mumbled. “It’s not like it was some big conspiracy. It was like poison oak and I just…” he looked at James once and then looked away quickly. “...couldn’t stop scratching it.”
“Regulus started it.” James piped up. He wanted to stop being dishonest.
“That’s—” Regulus looked at James incredulously, who only stared pointedly. “True,” he sighed. “I did start it.”
It was on a night when emotions were running high and both of their adrenaline were pumping. The Slytherins had just won against the Gryffindors and Regulus couldn’t help rubbing it in James’ face. James had shoved him playfully a little bit too hard and Regulus dragged him down with him. He landed on top of the Slytherin captain and next thing he knew, Regulus was tugging him down into a kiss and they were rolling around on the field. And the rest was history.
But Sirius didn’t need to know all that.
“Are you mad at him?” Peter asked. “Are you trying to get back at Sirius for something?”
Sirius stiffened as Regulus defended himself. “Of course not. My sleeping with Potter has nothing to do with my brother. I knew I should have obliviated you, Pettigrew.”
Remus wrinkled his nose. “Ugh do you call him Potter in bed too?”
“No, he calls me James.” Regulus elbowed him hard to shut him up.
“Enough.” Sirius interrupted their squabbling. “When did it start?”
“Sirius, I would like to emphasize that we are not dating. This is purely physical.” Regulus explained.
“Yes, so you’ve said multiple times.” James mumbled. And it wasn’t like he was head over heels in love with Regulus Black but if he asked to make it official, James certainly wouldn’t say no…oh, who was he kidding? James was absolutely besotted.
“Do you think telling me that is helpful, Regulus?” Sirius scowled. “Because it’s not. When did it start?”
“When did we first kiss or…other things?” James asked.
Regulus rolled his eyes at his need for clarification. “Two months ago.”
“Two months!” Sirius repeated surprised. “Two full moons since you two started…fornicating.”
Regulus looked sick. “Don’t say it like that.”
Sirius glared at him. “Well I can’t very well say what’s really going on here, now can I? I fear I might burst into flames.”
“Dramatic, much?”
“Oh, I’m sorry?” Sirius replied dersively. “Forgive me if I’m not jumping for joy at my supposed best friend and baby brother doing…things with each other and lying to me about it.”
“Not a baby,” Regulus said under his breath.
“Padfoot,” James cut in at the same time. “I’m so sorry. We really didn’t mean for it to get this far.”
“It was just supposed to be the one time,” Regulus agreed. “And then it got…out of hand.” Out of hand was an understatement. Regulus was like nicotine and James couldn’t stop buying cigarettes.
“I’ll say,” Peter muttered.
“Wait. Peter.” Sirius narrowed his eyes at him. “When did you find out?”
Peter shrunk back, wishing he hadn’t spoken at all. “A few days ago.”
“And you didn’t tell me either?” Sirius looked genuinely hurt. James wanted to comfort him but he feared his best friend might actually bite him.
Remus stood. “Darling, I would like to point out that I kept my promise and told you minutes after I found out. So I don’t really understand why I have to be in this little meeting, being an innocent bystander and all.” Remus might as well have dug his own grave.
“Innocent bystander?” Sirius spat. “I practically had to drag it out of you and I don’t really appreciate your attitude, you weak weak man. Now sit.” He commanded it as though Remus were a dog and under any other circumstances, the tall boy would have fought him but he knew it was in his best interest to play along. So he sat back down like a good boy and shut his mouth though James didn’t miss the small growl he let out.
“Okay, I’ll tell you everything.” James said. He didn’t want to keep it in any longer no matter how Regulus felt about it. “What do you wanna know?”
Sirius had never looked at him with such hatred before. “I don’t know, James. How would I know if you’re telling the truth?” Sirius never called him James. What had he done?
“Oh come off it, Sirius.” Regulus scoffed after seeing the dejected look on James’ face. “Are you actually mad? Because I fail to see how my bedmates are any of your business.”
It was the wrong thing to say. Regulus and his bad temper.
Sirius stared at them all for a beat, expression unreadable. Even Regulus looked uncomfortable. “No,” Sirius said finally. “I’m not mad.” He said it madly. “I’m happy the two of you have found each other. It’s just so…great.” He grit his teeth and then gave them all a very uncomfortable smile. “You may all go back to your normal, honest lives.” Then he exited the room, slamming the door behind him.
“Thank goodness that’s over,” Peter breathed. “I need to take a shower. This shirt is so done for.” The shirt in question was soaked through with sweat.
“You’re delusional if you think this is over,” Remus bemoaned. “I fear we are in for a very long week.”