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Confetti of various colours trickles down from the ceiling, the shiny squares reflecting the blazing lights that illuminate the stage into Jeongin’s tired eyes even more. Music continuing to blare as the mass of bodies begin to make their way back to the safety of the dressing rooms, some knocking into him with small apologies falling from their lips that are lost to the pounding of everything else.
The ending segment of a big event is always a little overstimulating, but he still holds a bright, dimpled, smile on his face for the fans that are watching in the audience and in the comfort of their own homes. He isn’t the biggest fan of these overcrowded events where cameras could be shoved into his face at any moment, but he is thankful for the recognition his group is getting these days.
Since they’d been placed right at the front of the stage it means they are the last to leave. There is a school of bodies blocking the way to the shadowy parts of the venue, some faces he is familiar with and meets with a careful nod of acknowledgment whilst others he hasn’t seen before, or at least, hasn’t noted to his memory.
He tries to stay close to the people he knows the best, his own members, but does allow himself to get dragged away temporarily to give brief greetings to those he would consider friends or close acquaintances. At the end of the day Jeongin is still an introvert though and his energy is quickly depleting as he tries to keep the positivity up when anyone cares to approach him.
The soft surface of his bed is calling him, and he wishes there weren't still a few more steps before he finally got back to the welcoming sheets. It is just the cost of being an idol, which he has long ago accepted as his reality. Perhaps he could allow his eyelids to close a little while he got dressed down by the staff, accessories and outfit recollected by the design team.
Before he could even get off of the stage though, he caught something with his drooping gaze that made him snap away from thoughts of rest. Any feelings of exhaustion pushed to the side as searing hot anger begins pumping through his veins. There were few things that could make him snap so quickly, but the awards show just happens to be his unlucky day.
A few metres away from where he’s frozen still, Felix is giggling away at something the man beside him has said, his small fingers covering his mouth as he tries to contain the delightful sound. Jeongin doesn’t even register who it is, too busy staring at the way his left hand so comfortably is wrapped around Felix’s waist, locking their bodies against each other. The grip is so intense that Felix’s jacket is creating an odd shape as it tries to hang loosely, this stranger’s arm acting as a corset, clinging to him as closely as possible.
His legs start to move before his mind can catch up, a few careful leaps putting him on Felix’s other side. The blonde hasn’t noticed him just yet, eyes squinting practically closed as he continues to laugh. Surely whatever this random guy has said can’t have been that funny, nor is it appropriate to be holding Felix flush against him like that.
With a swift slide of his own arm, Jeongin replicates the hold that this stranger has on his hyung, snaking around his waist so he can tug Felix away from the other man. There is some resistance from the other side, so he moves Felix forward a bit to unlatch him from the random idol. It proves to be a success, Felix now right up against his chest instead.
Before there can be any word of complaint from his hyung or whoever that guy is, Jeongin pulls the edges of his lips up again into a smile – albeit a strained one. He can pretend to play nice for a little while longer, just as long as it results in Felix getting away from whoever this touchy guy is. If Jeongin still can’t recognise him now, there is no way he is close enough with Felix to be touching him like that. There is no way he is as close to Felix as he is.
“Innie have you met-“ Felix starts.
“We should hurry back hyung.” Jeongin interrupts him.
He knows it’s a little rude, and Felix won’t like him behaving in this way, but he can’t stand the look on the guy’s face. There had been this smug grin he’d been wearing before Jeongin had reclaimed his hyung. It made him look completely cocky, possibly even a little lusting, and absolutely unworthy of even breathing the same air as Felix.
“My maknae must want to get home.” Felix tries to excuse him, bringing his fingers up to pinch at Jeongin’s cheeks, which he recognises as his punishment. He will happily take anything physical that Felix wants to dish him, but preferably away from this random, which is why he is already directing his hyung towards the backstage area via his waist.
Almost over his shoulder since Jeongin is promptly ushering Felix away, he gives a small wave to the guy, “See you next time.”
Jeongin considers also glancing back at the unknown idol, a bit of smugness crawling to the surface, but he thinks better of it. He’s gotten what he needs, and that is to get Felix away from that creep who assumed he is allowed to touch him like that. Just because Felix is being the sweet person that he is by chuckling at whatever joke had been said didn’t mean he could lay a finger on him.
The darkness of the side stage is getting closer and Jeongin is relieved. Soon he will be on his way home with Felix, Seungmin, and Minho, and away from all of these other people. Just him and his hyungs all going about their nighttime routines before getting to snuggle up in bed for some well-deserved rest.
At some point during Jeongin’s directing of Felix, the older smacks his shoulder. It isn’t an aggressive hit, barely even a tap, but it makes Jeongin disconnect from his hyung. He may have been pushing the both of them away from the blasting lights a little too quickly or he may have been pressing against one of the sore spots that Felix had, either way he felt safe enough to let go now.
“What the hell was that Jeongin?” Felix hisses under his breath.
Jeongin furrows his brows, understanding he hadn’t been the friendliest, but it surely doesn’t require having to damn the both of them. They are still moving through the corridors to where their room is, staff awaiting their arrival so they could get out of the crowded venue. Jeongin isn’t sure he wants to be lectured in such a busy area, plenty of people in black crossing their path, but he also doesn’t want Felix to assume he is ignoring him.
“I’m tired hyung.” He gave a half-truth.
“That’s no reason to be so rude. Especially in front of other people.” His voice lifted a bit but is still hushed as he is aware they aren’t completely alone. Pushing out a huff, Felix continues, “I don’t want anyone to see you in a bad light.”
“He was being rude first.” Jeongin bit back, the feistiness of it is not targeted at his hyung, but rather the rando who is getting too cushy.
There is a stutter in their pacing. Felix has fallen behind while processing what Jeongin has said. As the good maknae he is, he waits for the fake blonde to catch up to him again. Just one look at his hyung’s distant eyes and he can see his brain working overtime to figure out what Jeongin had meant.
“How was he being rude?” Felix has a pout on that really shows how glossy his lips are.
As if it were obvious, Jeongin gives his response, “He grabbed you like you were best pals.”
“If I was uncomfortable, I would have removed myself.” Felix explains.
Jeongin isn’t sure he can accept that answer. He knows Felix can be a bit of a people pleaser, flashing a smile whilst gritting his teeth so he doesn’t cause a scene. His hyung is too pure of heart for all of these toxic people that wanted too much from him. Whether it is a bossy director, an invasive ‘fan’ or a weird touchy idol, Felix typically nods his head to be polite.
Just thinking back to how that guy had been looking so pleased with himself, Felix unaware of how dirty the gaze he gave him was, makes Jeongin clench his palm into a fist. He’d taken the polite route of removing Felix instead of directly saying to the dude’s face that he is acting like a creep and that alone should have granted him a little recognition.
“It made me uncomfortable.” Jeongin combats whilst yanking open the white door with a ‘Stray Kids’ sign pasted on it.
Under his breath, since they are stepping into territory with familiar staff, Felix critiques, “You’re acting like you own my waist.”
“I do.” Jeongin answers, surprising both Felix and himself with the way he spits it out. Logically he knows that the only person who has any right over Felix’s body, is himself, but something ugly had crept up from Jeongin’s twisting stomach. Trying to sound a little less crazy, Jeongin corrects, “I mean, I’m good at reading people, and I may be your dongsaeng, but I’m pretty protective of you.”
They aren’t too close to anyone, or at least that’s what Jeongin deludes himself into thinking so he doesn’t get embarrassed about the idea of being overheard. Out of context it is still a pretty vulnerable thing to be saying, but it feels far less intense than putting a total claim over Felix like he’d implied at first.
Felix blinks his long lashes a few times. “Well, I appreciate your concern, but it was fine Innie.”
“Whatever.” Jeongin groans, trying to move away from Felix so he can get out of the suddenly itchy sparkly outfit that he’s been forced to wear.
The blonde’s small hand tries to reach out for him. “Don’t get-“
“Felix your clothes have been prepared in the second changing room. Please switch back so we can handle your stage outfit.” One of the few staff members requests, cutting short what Felix planned on saying next. It was the second time he’d been interrupted that evening.
Felix tries to open his mouth again to finish what he’d been trying to say to Jeongin before conceding with, “Sure. Of course.”
Squinting at Jeongin, Felix sent the signal that their conversation isn’t over. The younger of the two has no idea why he is getting so upset about the quick interaction. Jeongin was simply trying to release him from the jaws of a tiger. He knows exactly what he saw and he isn’t going to allow anyone to treat his hyung like that.
The car ride is tense with Felix sitting beside Jeongin, arms crossed against his chest as he keeps his chin turned towards the tinted window. It isn’t like they can properly discuss what they need to with two other members, one of their managers, and a driver present, so Jeongin clenches his jaw and prepares for the ambush that is sure to occur once they get into the dorm.
So much for getting a good night’s rest.
Felix gives him little grace time, the blonde standing with the same lecturing pose that he’d learnt from their dance teachers at the foot of Jeongin’s bed. He’d only had a few minutes of alone time whilst using the shower and prepping his skin, which was a routine he would always attempt to complete no matter where they were staying.
With his hair still a little damp, Jeongin bows his head down towards Felix with a small sigh. He wishes his hyung would just let it go, the damage barely a scratch on Jeongin’s otherwise pristine image, but Felix can be pretty stubborn sometimes. Perhaps the guy he’d ripped Felix away from is someone he knew better than Jeongin assumed, but he obviously still wasn’t special enough for Jeongin to know of his existence beforehand.
“I’m sorry hyung.” Jeongin whispers softly to the man who is staring him down. Before Felix can get too pleased though, he adds, “To you and only you.”
“Why are you acting childish?” Felix questions whilst thinning his eyes even more. Jeongin assumes it's an attempt to make himself appear more intimidating, but he knows there’s no venom behind the movement, and even if there was real anger, Jeongin would still find his hyung cute regardless.
Rolling right into his role as the youngest, with his usual sassy Jeongin flare, he answers, “I am younger than you if you recall.”
“You’re still an adult.” Felix points an accusatory finger towards the man that is eye-level with him, the tip of the digit almost making contact with Jeongin’s chest due to their limited proximity. With a shaky breath he continues, “You’re usually not so immature.”
Jeongin isn’t quite sure what has gotten Felix so worked up about this whole situation. He’d expressed worry about Jeongin’s image, but it’s not like he was doing much out of the ordinary to begin with. There have been plenty of occasions where Jeongin has grabbed and lead Felix in the right direction since he is prone to drifting and there had been no problem then. The confusion only fed into his frustration.
“You wanted him to grope at you like that?” Jeongin blurts out.
“He was not-“ A huff of air rushes out from Felix’s nose as he tries to collect himself a little, the hand that he’s placed between their bodies now reaching upwards. His fingers curl towards his palm hesitantly a few times before he settles on, “Give me your towel.”
Jeongin raises his brow, “What for? You gonna smack me with it?”
The possibility of Felix turning to violence, especially over just a little tiff like this, is highly unlikely. Although Felix is a known gamer who has spent many hours burying his digital weaponry into the chests of enemies, he is the furthest thing from a physically fierce person, but Jeongin is in a mood, so the taunting comments are bound to continue flowing out.
“I might if you keep up your nonsense.”
Nudging his shoulder forward slightly, Felix understands the signal that he has been given and grabs for the small white towel. The action is not without further complaint though as Jeongin grumbles, “It’s not nonsense. I didn’t like the way he was touching you.”
Felix pulls the small bit of fabric away from Jeongin, testing the dampness of the material, before promptly reversing and plopping it on his subtly dripping hair. There had only been a drop or two that had fallen against his shirt, but apparently wet hair is another problem that has to be dealt with in Felix’s book.
“Why didn’t you like it?” Felix asks softly whilst his hands massage the towel into Jeongin’s scalp.
“I don’t like it when anyone touches you unnecessarily.” Jeongin replies easily.
Felix’s fingers hesitate for a moment, his deep eyes searching Jeongin’s face during the pause. He continues after failing to find whatever he’d been looking for, commenting, “We were just having a quick chat, and you know how loud it gets. He was just making sure I could hear him clearly.”
The excuses that Felix has to make up for this guy makes Jeongin burn even more. He knows it’s likely because Felix tries to see the best in people while Jeongin tries to take a more realistic approach, but positivity can be dangerous if given out too easily.
Allowing himself to think back to the moment results in Jeongin snapping.
In a swift movement, Jeongin circles his arms around Felix’s waist before pulling the smaller boy towards himself. His hyung is so light he almost makes them completely collide with the sudden use of force but manages to save them both from getting accidentally hurt at the last moment.
Felix blinks at Jeongin, their faces so, so close now. His arms are still trapped above his head, elbows sitting on Jeongin’s shoulders after getting yanked forward. He looks like he’s about to question what the younger is doing, a tongue teasing over his bottom lip, but Jeongin beats him, “Does me holding you make it easier to hear what I’m saying?"
“This is a very different environment.” Felix is quick to argue.
Unsatisfied with the lack of actual response, Jeongin doubles down, “Answer hyung. Do I suddenly sound clearer to you?”
“Jeongin.” Felix whines, trying to pull them apart if even just a little since they’re currently flush up against one another.
Although Jeongin doesn’t really want to give in to Felix that easy, he can’t help but be weak to that pleading voice. He would usually have never even had to fight Felix since he’d bow to his cute hyung on just about anything, but this issue in particular just happens to rub him the wrong way. Still, he concedes slightly, allowing Felix to take a step back so he’s not almost falling against Jeongin.
His arms don’t shift away from Felix’s waist and the older is still holding onto the towel atop Jeongin’s head.
“He didn’t need to grab you like that.” Jeongin continues his campaign.
“You didn’t need to grab me either. I would have followed you if you’d just asked.”
Refusing to break his intense stare away from Felix first, Jeongin keeps going, “Are you sure you wouldn’t have been distracted by someone else? Plus, you often forget where you’re meant to go.”
“It’s not a crime to be an extrovert, Innie.” Felix adds, tone far weaker than before.
That wasn’t the problem at all. It is endearing seeing Felix smiling with new friends that he’s somehow managed to make in the few minutes he’s disappeared or when he is overseas doing one of the many fashion shows he’s been invited to. What Jeongin had witnessed was not a cute, respectful scene, but someone with far too much confidence getting their gross hands all over him.
“I never said it was, but you’re my hyung first.” Jeongin emphasises his possessiveness, his hands following suit by digging into the thin material that is covering Felix’s mid-section.
“Your hair is all dry now.” Felix mutters to try and excuse himself, his gaze drifting to the floor as he pushes back against Jeongin’s hold.
Before releasing him so he can leave Jeongin’s room, the younger bends down to try and capture Felix’s eyes again. “Hyung.” Jeongin says so softly that Felix surely wouldn’t have been able to hear him if they’d been at a typical conversational distance. Once his attention is returned to Jeongin, he sincerely delivers, “I mean it. You’re mine.”
Jeongin can feel Felix’s pulse vibrating through his body. His heart is thumping right into Jeongin’s hands until the moment he removes his touch from his hyung’s waist. It would be pretty hypocritical for him to be preaching about boundaries to Felix whilst restraining the man when he’s obviously showing signs of wishing to retreat – even though letting him go does make Jeongin a little nervous.
Taking a few small steps backwards, Felix struggles to decide where he wants to look. He’s all over the room, glancing at the bed, the desk, the wardrobe, before landing on Jeongin again. His eyes look a little glassy, that usual Felix shine awfully bright as they stare at each other. That’s the last thing Jeongin sees before there’s a bundle of white fabric being thrown right into his face.
“Goodnight Innie.” Felix calls out as he escapes from the blinded man.
☀ Felix’s POV: ☀
Felix can feel his heart thumping against his chest. It’s such an intense beat every time that he fears it may decide to completely rip out from his ribs to escape the limits it is confined to. He often feels like the love he has to give is too much, too overwhelming, too suffocating, especially for their youngest, so hearing that Jeongin also has that all-consuming admiration for him is a little shocking and even more exciting.
There have been instances in the past where Jeongin has acted more like the older one between the two of them, even though Felix is the elder, if only by a few months. Ready to stand or support Felix before he is willing to do the same for himself, which is where the reaction he’d had that night must have come from. That strange protectiveness being turned up the moment he’d seen him with someone unfamiliar.
In all honesty, Felix didn’t really known the guy well. They’d spoken to each other briefly in the past and he’s seen his name pop up occasionally in the tabloids or in Felix’s Instagram likes, but it is a casual friendliness. He’d taken the slip of his hand around his waist as that same level, Felix quite prone to being a bit of a toucher himself, within reason of course.
He'd initially thought that Jeongin had just reacted so aggressively because he’d wanted to get home sooner, and then after their conversation continued he assumed it had to do with Jeongin typically disliking physical contact and he’d put himself into Felix’s shoes, but the ending to whatever has just happened is beyond that. Jeongin is jealous. He is jealous because someone was touching his hyung.
The thought had dug its way into his mind, burrowing deep and planting a seed that made Felix view future interactions differently. How Jeongin would slide up next to him whenever someone was getting a little too close, whether it was in the breakroom or the airport. How there would be a hand gently guiding him on the lower part of his back when Felix was starting to drift away from the rest of the group. They were all small things that he might not have thought much of in the past, but now it was all blaring at him.
Every time Jeongin did something like that Felix would catch his cheeks flushing, the freckles that scattered across his cheeks turning into a twilight sky. The gestures Jeongin had been making over the past couple of weeks were flattering even in their subtly – especially for someone who loved physical touch and acts of service as much as Felix did.
It was really getting to him.
There was only so much Felix could handle when he already had lingering feelings. The extent of his attraction had been dulled down, pushed into a locked box where it couldn’t accidentally cause issues. It was one thing to be attached to your friend, let alone the person you’ve built up a career with, and experienced some of your most informative years with. So, Felix did what he thought was mature and he'd ignored those itching thoughts as best he could.
A few words, a few words were all it took for him to rethink everything. Their behaviours around each other hadn’t really changed, but the way they were interpreted had been changing day by day and Felix wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep that buried box shut. It was knocking around inside of him, begging to be released because now he had a chance, or at least what he thought was one.
There was just one part of the puzzle that Felix wanted to confirm before falling too far into his delusions – aka getting proper confirmation that this wasn’t just some strange platonic possessiveness. He didn’t want it to be like a kid and their favourite toy, but something that went beyond the restrictions of friendship. He had to know if this jealousy had bubbled up to the surface for the same reasons that Felix would let his fingers linger on Jeongin’s shoulders for a little too long or find any excuse to knead into his muscles.
He had to know they were on the same page.
“Innie.” Felix mutters whilst pinching the fabric of Jeongin’s sleeve.
Halting his pathway towards the centre of the mirrored room after feeling the slight tug, Jeongin responds with a smile, “Hey hyung.”
Felix loves when Jeongin grins all the way up to his eyes, the slight creases on the sides of his face, the pinching of his eyelids, and the lifting of his cheeks all make for an adorable image. It makes Felix’s brain short-circuit, all the planning that he’s done in his head being thrown out the window as he is lost staring at their youngest.
In response to Felix being frozen, Jeongin raises his eyebrows. He is being patient with Felix, giving him time to come up with what he wants to say. That kindness is part of what made Jeongin one of the most desirable men in Felix’s book, but kindness can’t rescue his cheeks from heating up with embarrassment at being easily flustered.
“After practice we should get a meal.” Felix finally utters once his mouth is working again.
Jeongin’s lips pout forward a bit as he begins to nod his head in agreement. “Are you in the mood for something in particular? I don’t want anything too greasy ‘cause my skin hasn’t been behaving very well recently.”
“Nothing greasy I promise.” Felix faces his palms towards him, the tips of the two fingers that had caught Jeongin’s jumper still burning from the contact – as if they didn’t casually touch each other and all the other members all the time.
“Then it’s a date!” Jeongin sings out awfully enthusiastically.
Being the nosey man that he is, able to smell drama from a mile away, Jisung suddenly appears to question, “Who’s going on a date?”
Felix loves Jisung a lot, he is his sunshine twin, his birthday buddy, his scissor sister, but he is currently climbing up the wrong tree. Even though Felix very much is hoping that the night will lead into a date after him and Jeongin have a proper conversation, it is none of Jisung’s business what kind of gathering they are going to be having.
“Me and your Mum.” Felix jests.
Overly dramatically, Jisung grabs at his chest, mouth dropping open in pure shock, “Felix. I can’t believe you would say such a thing about my sweet Mother.”
Jisung playing along immediately is why Felix and he get along so well.
“I’ll treat her right don’t worry.” Felix says with a shrug, acting nonchalant.
“You better or our friendship will be officially over.” Jisung slices his hand through the air, a representation of their relationship being severed.
With a shit-eating grin, Felix delivers the final blow, “I’m so excited to be your new Daddy.”
“Disgusting!” Seungmin shouts between the both of them.
Felix can’t help but tug at the ends of his light blue hoodie while waiting for Jeongin to finish tidying himself up. Although Hyunjin is prone to sweating the most out of the team, Jeongin has been going particularly hard during practices recently and has started coming out as a close second. Not that Felix particularly minded the sheen personally.
A few taps of what sounds to be sneakers hitting the tiles below slips underneath the gapping of the door that leads to the change rooms. It is the final warning for Felix to prepare himself for the possibly awkward conversation he is going to be having with Jeongin over some barbeque smoke and hopefully liquid courage.
With a small creak, out comes the man that has been driving Felix crazy, his hair slightly damp from the quick shower he must have taken. Talk about déjà vu. Not that Felix wishes to go back to that confusing night where his heart had been trying to escape from the rest of his body as he replayed the words that Jeongin had said to him.
“Ready to go hyung?” Jeongin delivers the question with a charming smile that makes Felix’s tired legs subtly wobble.
With a bit too much honesty, Felix answers, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Unfortunately, Felix wasn’t as ready as he thought. The moment they’d sat down on the small metal chairs, a hot grill sizzling in front of them, Felix had let all his courage slip. He’d gone for meals exactly like this one with the other members casually all the time because that was just something they did together. If someone was craving a particular kind of food they would go prowling for someone else to drag along. It was routine, friendly, not the place to confess anything.
Jeongin had met him with a delighted expression the whole evening, clearly enjoying just being in Felix’s company as they talked about unimportant things or nothing at all, unaware of the mental turmoil Felix was putting himself through. Every time Jeongin’s eyes would crease around the edges Felix could feel another pang in his chest.
At least the food was good.
Felix is dragging his feet after they elected to walk back towards their dorm. Small stones are being kicked up with every shuffle of his relatively new sneakers against the pavement. He is surely ruining the bottoms, but he can’t find it in him to care. Felix is too preoccupied with the weight of everything he'd been building up to release now resting on his shoulders after he’d chickened out.
He considers that perhaps this hesitance is a sign that he shouldn’t rock the boat. It is a huge risk expressing something as raw as romantic attraction to his bandmate. Felix isn’t too worried about Jeongin being disgusted as he knows he has already been welcoming of Felix’s sexuality but confessing that Jeongin is the token of his affection could completely ruin their dynamic, and he truly enjoyed his moments with their youngest.
Letting out a sigh so strong that it creates a cloud of air in front of his face, Jeongin grabs Felix’s wrist and breaks their less than comfortable silence, “Alright hyung, spill.”
“Spill? Spill what?” Felix unconvincingly tries to keep cool.
“You’ve been giving me this look all day. Like there’s something on your mind but you’re stopping yourself from saying it.” Jeongin explains whilst squinting at Felix, like he’s trying to look past his face to see what has been swirling around in his mind.
Felix could try and come up with some kind of excuse, say that something else has been itching at him. There’s plenty of things he could use, like the stress of being the face of so many brands, or the pressure of working without a proper break, or anything else that relates to their work life to divert away from his very personal feelings. That would only work if Felix was a good liar though, and that, he was not.
“I hate how well you know me.” Felix grumbles, struggling to meet Jeongin’s inquisitive eyes.
Tightening his fingers around Felix’s wrist, the tips of his middle fingers meeting the edge of his thumb, Jeongin states, “No you don’t, you love me.”
Hitting the nail on the head unintentionally pushes a shiver through Felix’s body. Again, he could excuse his reaction as a result of the cooler weather, both their noses a little pink from the bite of winter, but he’s been handed an opportunity on a platter. The only reason he’s even allowed himself to consider confessing to Jeongin is because of his possessive comments, so he has to go for it.
“Yeah I do. A lot. That’s the problem.” Felix replies a little too sincerely, hoping that Jeongin catches on.
Concern crossing his features, Jeongin leans in more so they’re now facing one another, “How could that be a problem?”
“Because-“ Felix starts, a huff of air following instead of the words he intended to say. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth. Squaring up his shoulders, Felix tries again, “Because I’m not sure if you like me like I like you.”
The streetlight beside them flickers, letting out a pulsing sound that seems noisy in the quiet, a reminder that they’re just two people standing in the middle of a deserted walkway. Felix can’t meet Jeongin’s eyes, so he simply watches the orange light break through the night before allowing the shadows to consume the pathway once more as it fights to remain illuminated.
“Is that what’s been bothering you?” Jeongin questions him softly.
Felix remains trained to the subtle bumps that are carved into the ground, “Yeah…”
“You’re so cute.”
The comment takes Felix off guard, lifting his head back up so that he can see Jeongin’s face again. He isn’t quite sure what he is looking for, possibly something that would lead him to think the term is intended to be condescending, but Jeongin isn’t usually like that with him, and thus there is nothing but a gentle smirk awaiting him.
“What?” Felix utters in disbelief, fearing it all feels too easy to be true.
“Is this because of what I said after the awards show?” Jeongin delicately runs his thumb along the bone of Felix’s wrist reassuringly.
“Maybe.” Felix mumbles, Jeongin’s gaze too intense for him to hold consistently.
“Listen, hyung, I really meant what I said. Even though at the time I hadn’t really thought about how far those feelings went, I’ve sort of been thinking about the same thing.” Jeongin delivers his speech while his hands gradually crawl up along Felix’s sides, finding their final location at the curve of Felix’s cheeks. “Is it alright with you if I like you a little differently?”
“In what kind of way?” Felix feels his chest expand, preparing for the crushing weight of disappointment or the uplifting sensation of delight.
“In a not friend, not bandmate, not coworker way?”
The roundabout answer throws Felix off a little. He repeats the response in his mind a few times, searching for the title that could slip in between the gaps that Jeongin has left. There are really only two options though when it’s broken down, one of which would place Felix back into the same position as his other members, some of whom he too sees as family, and the alternative what he needs it to be.
“Like romantically?” He throws out the bait.
“Yeah, something like that.” Jeongin bites.
It isn’t the most romantic way to reveal their feelings, there certainly aren’t any film studios on their way to steal their story, but hearing the affirmative that Felix hasn’t blown anything out of proportion is enough relief that he is ready to jump for joy. Not that he actually was going to though, because that’s a little too over the top, and it was a way to bring attention if there happened to be anyone lurking in the darkness around them.
“It’s more than alright.” Felix reassures Jeongin a little too enthusiastically, still cautious of how much volume he can comfortably use.
“Is that how you like me too?” Jeongin’s gaze dances between Felix’s eyes.
Now being asked the question directly, Felix finds himself scared. He is so sure of his attraction for Jeongin, but this is the first time that he’s properly had anything come of a strong feeling towards someone since he’d left Australia, and the circumstances are incredibly different now.
“I think so.” He settles on the same amount of certainty that Jeongin has given him.
Stepping forward slightly so they’re even closer than before, Jeongin keeps his palms cupped around the edges of Felix’s jaw. With a radiance, Jeongin beams, “We can figure it out hyung. There’s no rush.”
With the lack of distance between them now, Felix finds himself gulping. The warmth from Jeongin’s body is carrying across to him, mere inches separating their faces, separating them from friends to something else.
“Can we start with the basics then? To check.” Felix glances down to Jeongin’s lips in an obvious manner.
“What would that include?”
“Maybe a little…” Felix trails off before finishing his sentence, using his body language to fill in the blanks.
“What did you say? You have to speak up Lixie hyung.” Jeongin teases.
Becoming frustrated with himself for not being more forthcoming and with Jeongin for not reading his mind, Felix groans, “A little smooch.”
A devilish smirk creeps onto Jeongin’s face, his dimples on full display as he rubs circles into Felix’s cheeks with his thumbs. Felix isn’t sure if he wants to know what is currently running through the mind of the man standing across from him or if he’d prefer for whatever comes next to be a surprise, but his heart rate that is already thumping picks up even more.
“Gosh I just want to eat you.” The words slip out of Jeongin’s mouth, making Felix even more aware of his youngest’s fox-like tendencies.
“Too fast!” Felix chirps.
“I don’t mean literally-“ Jeongin huffs, changing his mind about attempting to defend himself. “Whatever.”
With a careful movement, Jeongin bridges the gap between them, pressing their cold lips against one another. In response, Felix clings to the open ends of Jeongin’s jacket, squeezing the material so tight that his fingers start to border on aching from how frozen they are. Jeongin’s hands that have been comfortably resting against Felix’s face were somehow producing warmth against his burning cheeks though.
Felix can’t help but let his thoughts run on overtime. He’s a little self-conscious about how it must feel for Jeongin, the younger’s lips plush against his own. There’s another thing bothering him as well, even though he is trying to enjoy the moment. Naturally, he just can’t help but be slightly panicked about where they are. Apparently not worried enough to be the one that ends the kiss though.
Eventually Jeongin retreats back, the time that they’d been lip locked unknown to Felix as he’s been so busy dealing with so many positive physical feelings as his mind became busy with concerns, but he finds himself gasping for breath. The chilled air floods down his throat, nearly resulting in a cough, which he thankfully prevents as Jeongin is still right in front of him and that would have been rude.
“We’re still in public!” Felix squeaks out once his mouth can work again, shoving one of the hands that he’d tangled in Jeongin’s jacket against the man’s hip.
Jeongin bounces up onto his tippy toes, scanning their surroundings, “Do you see anyone around?”
“No more until we are back at the dorm.” Felix scolds with his blushing cheeks.
Jeongin rolls his eyes, a move he definitely caught off of Seungmin. He does take a step back from Felix though, removing his hands from his hyung’s face to instead shove into his pockets, a bit disgruntled. Felix hopes that Jeongin understands that he’s placed the boundary because they need to be more careful and responsible, which he is surely mature enough to do.
“Fine.” Jeongin whines, throwing his head back. When he brings himself back down he has a mischievous look on his face again though. “But that does mean more at the dorms?”
“You’re insatiable.” Felix playfully swipes at Jeongin, definitely not going to refuse his proposition.