Chapter Text
Tommy and Jakob did not look alike, not even slightly. People kept saying they were identical twins, but they must be mistaken, because they could not be more different. Jakob's face was round and childish while Tommy's was tough and manly. Jakob was on the shorter side, and Tommy was above average. Jakob was always smiling, Tommy was always frowning. They didn’t resemble each other at all. In fact, they probably weren’t even related, Jakob must have been switched at the hospital, and Tommy's real brother had ended up with the wrong family.
It was hard being an alleged identical twin in a small town like Vörå. Everyone knew who he was, and everyone thought he was fascinating. Every time his mom would bring him and his brother to the shops, people would stare at them like they were animals at the zoo. The only reason they weren’t officially the town freaks was because there just happened to be two other sets of identical twins born in Vörå the same year as them.
It really was a crazy coincidence. Axel had rattled on about the statistical likelihood of having identical twins and how unlikely it was that with a population this small, there would be three of them in the same place, but Tommy never listened to him. Who cares about that stupid nerd and his annoying numbers? What was really interesting was how someone as lame as Axel could have a brother as cool as Määnin.
Määnin was perfect in every way. He was strong, manly, tough and sexy. No one could compete with him. If Määnin entered an arm wrestling competition, he’d win no matter how big his competitor was. If Määnin wanted to join the Winter Olympics, it wouldn't matter that he’d never stood on a pair of skis before, he’d still win. No one could beat him, no one in the world was better than him.
Axel was a boring loser. He was weak, girly, klein and ugly. No one liked him. He tried way too hard in school, he played the violin, and he knew how to read. He and Määnin were complete opposites. If Axel entered an arm wrestling competition, he’d probably break his arm and die. He must have also been swapped out at the hospital, there was no way he and Määnin were identical twins. Maybe Jakob and Axel were meant to be brothers, and he and Määnin were actually related. It would make more sense, seeing as they were so cool and their brothers were so lame, but for some reason he didn’t really want to be related to Määnin.
Kevin and Freppa were actually pretty similar. They looked alike, tall and skinny, and they had similar personalities, pretty weak. At least Freppa had the good sense to make good friends, unlike Kevin, who’d rather hang out in loser town.
It was kind of inevitable that they’d get to know each other. Three sets of identical twins, all born in the same year in the same small town, that was a sign from the universe. Their parents had formed a support group while they were still babies, giving each other tips for how to deal with unexpected twins and how to tell the difference between your two identical kids. Apparently, having twins was “a lot” and “exhausting”, so it was nice to get support from other parents who knew what you were going through, according to his mom. This meant that they’d known each other their whole lives, so no, no one was surprised that they became friends. What was surprising was the clear divide in the friend groups.
It started early; even as a toddler, Tommy knew who was cool and who wasn’t. He always wanted to be with Määnin. When Tommy took his first steps at a twin support group picnic, he took them towards Määnin, because even then he knew who he wanted to be close to. Jakob was way more drawn to Axel and Kevin. Tommy didn’t get it, back then he and Jakob spent all of their time together, and he actually kind of liked his brother, so he was shocked to realise they had such different tastes in friends. Even more shocking was the fact that Freppa wanted to hang out with Tommy and Määnin and not his brother's gang of nice little losers, but even though he was more gentle in nature, Freppa liked loud chaos. There were two clear gangs, Kaj and Vörjeans, long before the bands were created.
Vörjeans was first. They had the idea to start a band long before their lame brothers did. Kaj was started because its members were so lame they had to hide in the music room in school, Vörjeans was started because its members had music in their blood. Long before they went to school together, they would meet up at each other's houses and create beautiful art. While Kevin, Axel and Jakob liked to play pretend and tell each other jokes, Tommy, Freppa and Määnin were way less immature; they liked to play music. At age five, “play music” mostly just meant banging a rock with a stick and screaming made-up lyrics about how cool Määnin was, but over the years they got more refined. An early hit was “Määnin fought a bear” about… well it’s kind of self-explanatory, it’s about how Määnin fought a bear. It was the toughest song in the whole world, and they competed in a local talent show with it to rave reviews. No one had to know the bear in question was a teddy bear and that the fight was Axel dropping it on Määnin's face from the top bunk in their bunk bed, scaring the shit out of him.
Vörjeans were the coolest band in town, everyone thought so, so Tommy shouldn’t be surprised that his brother wanted to copy him. Kaj was created in 2009, 11 years after Vörjeans. Tommy had been so angry when he found out. Music was his thing, the only thing he had, and now Jakob wanted to take that away from him. Tommy was surprised by how much he resented the Kaj. He wasn’t sure when his and Jakob's relationship started to go wrong. When they were little, they were great friends, they kind of had no choice seeing as they spent so much time together, but as they got older, things got more and more strained.
Tommy had to admit it was mostly his fault. There was just something about Jakob that rubbed him the wrong way. Jakob was just so… It was hard to put words to it. He was just so free, maybe that was it. It was like Jakob and Tommy lived in different worlds. Jakob lived in a world where it was okay for a man to smile, dress up in silly costumes, and constantly joke around. Tommy lived in reality, where men were supposed to be tough, serious and hard working. Men did not dress up and run around the fields singing. Men played rock music with real instruments. Maybe the word he was looking for wasn’t free, it was delusional. Kevin and Axel didn’t help things, they also seemed to think it was okay to act like some stupid baby who liked to play pretend even after you turned ten.
Tommy hated it. It was embarrassing really, to have a brother who acted like that. Didn’t he understand that it reflected poorly on Tommy when his twin was so… gay? At least he had some shame, like when he took down that frankly horrific music video for Allsång på Skansen, or when he stopped talking openly about how he liked musicals, but for some strange reason, that didn’t make Tommy feel better either. He knew he should be grateful his brother had some sense, but it just made him feel even more sad.
He wasn’t jealous of Jakob. Tommy’s awesome in every possible way, his only flaw was having a flawed brother, and he didn’t want to change. He didn’t want to wear a dress on the revue stage or try to do stupid backflips to impress girls. He was happy going to parties and drinking until he blacked out. He’d much rather spend his evenings with Määnin in a field than drinking coffee with his friend's grandparents, or whatever it was Jakob liked to do in his free time. He knew his parents desperately wished he were more like Jakob. They wanted a kid who wasn’t constantly in trouble, a kid who didn’t pick fights or get bad grades. Most of their peers felt the same way. Jakob may be a bit odd, but that was better than Tommy. Tommy was too loud, too aggressive, too much. Whatever, just because everyone thought Jakob was better than him didn’t make him jealous. He was good as he was, he just wasn’t like Jakob, he wasn’t gay.
The thing is, maybe he sometimes wished he were a bit more like his brother. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like such a fuck up, maybe then he would finally stop being a walking disappointment. Maybe Jakob would know how to deal with the butterflies in his stomach Tommy felt every time he looked at Määnin. Maybe Jakob wouldn’t be so disgusted at the mere thought that he might be in love with his best friend. Actually, if Jakob were in love with his best friend, it probably wouldn’t be an issue at all. They’d probably all be super supportive, seeing as they were all gay too. Not that Tommy was gay, but if he was, being more like Jakob would probably make things much easier.
But Tommy wasn’t jealous, he could never be jealous of his loser brother, and it definitely wasn’t jealousy that made Tommy so pissed off when he heard about Kaj. Music was his thing, it was his one thing, and now he couldn’t even have that. The band was the only part of him that his parents approved of, and now golden boy would take that too. Yes, Jakob had always liked music, and he knew that he and his stupid friends liked to play around in the school supply closet/music room, but that didn’t mean they had to start a band. Tommy hated it, he hated Kaj, and he hated Jakob. They didn’t even play real music, like songs about cars or Määnin, they played humor music about fucking fish, and yet they had been booked for an actual professional gig. Maybe them getting a real gig before Vörjeans was a good thing, they’d embarrass themselves so badly they’d never dare to perform again.
The thought of Kaj making fools of themselves was the only thing that kept Tommy going as he waited for their faithed first gig. It also helped that Määnin was just as pissed as he was, and together they spent a lot of time bitching about their stupid brothers. Freppa tried to tell them to be supportive, but that was just typical Freppa, being a weak loser. They contemplated sabotaging the show somehow, but decided against it. Kaj would be bad enough without them intervening.
When the day of the gig finally arrived, Jakob was nowhere to be seen. Määnins mom was driving them to the gig, and she and Axel were waiting in the hallway while Tommy's mom looked for her lesser son. Tommy couldn't believe that Jakob was actually being sensible about this; he must have realised how shit they would be and gone to hide. As soon as his mom was out of his sight, Tommy slipped back up the stairs and went up to the attic to find his brother, just so he could rub it in his face.
He found Jakob instantly, he was hidden behind the box of Christmas decorations in the attic, just like Tommy knew he would be. You couldn’t grow up in a house together without knowing each other's every hiding spot, endless games of hide and seek made sure of that. He had a jab about how pathetic Jakob was being ready, but the words died in his throat the moment he saw his brother. He really did look pathetic, curled up in a ball and white as a sheet.
“Your friend is here to pick you up”.
Jakob looked up, noticing he had been found.
“I can’t do it”.
“Talk to Axel? Me neither, that guy is so annoying”.
Jakob rolled his eyes, but he did smile. A small, broken smile, but still a smile.
“I can tell him to get lost if you want, I don’t want him in my house”.
“Maybe you should actually, because I don't know how to tell him I’m cancelling the gig”.
Jakob's voice was shaky, like he was on the verge of tears. Actually, looking closer, there did seem to be dried tear tracks on his face, so maybe he had been crying. Tommy sighed and sat down on the cold attic floor so he could get on his brother's level.
“Why can’t you do it?”.
“I just can’t. What if they laugh at us? What if I fuck it all up? I’ll forget all of the words, and I’ll suck. No, I just can’t do it”.
Part of Tommy wanted to agree with Jakob, to say that he would suck, but another part, that really annoying part that was still Jakob's brother, forced him to be nice.
“We’re supposed to be identical twins, right? Well, if that is true, I’m still not convinced, then you’re going to be fine”.
“How is us being twins going to help me?”.
“Because if you’re my twin, it means you’re supposed to be like me, and I’m an amazing performer. If you’ve got even a fraction of my singing talent and stage presence, you’ll be fine”.
That did make Jakob smile. Not that weird, broken one from before, but a real proper Jakob smile. He seemed convinced, and he let Tommy help him off the floor, pulling him in for a hug. Tommy stiffened. It had been years since he hugged his brother, and he didn’t know what to do, so he just stood there. When it seemed like Jakob wouldn’t let go, Tommy spoke.
“You probably shouldn’t keep Määnin's mom waiting, she seemed kind of anxious to get going”.
“Axel's mom is very used to me being late at this point, but you’re probably right, I can’t put this off any longer”.
He walked away, but stopped as he was only a few steps down the ladder leading down from the attic.
“Wish me luck”.
“Good luck”.
You’ll need it, he thought bitterly. Whatever, he could be happy for his brother and his stupid band. It wasn’t like Kaj would ever be bigger than Vörjeans anyway.
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Kaj were way bigger than vörjeans. Apparently, their stupid kids' music was more appealing to the masses than some real rock. According to Greta, who had hired Kaj for her sixtieth birthday party instead of Vörejans, dansband music about your annoying neighbour was family-friendly and fun, while songs about Määnin's ass were apparently vulgar. Fucking idiot.
As soon as Tommy realised Kaj might actually have some small level of success, he’d called a crisis meeting. Vörjeans could not be associated with Kaj, no one could know they were related, that would completely ruin their reputation and any chance to make it big outside of Vörå. In their hometown, everyone already knew about the twin situation, but if they acted swiftly, they might be able to stop the news from spreading.
The meeting was held in Freppa's garage, where Vörjean always practised. Kaj also used the space, but Tommy didn't like to think about that. Freppa seemed rather relaxed about the whole thing, but Määnin was just as upset as Tommy. With the two of them on the same side, Freppa had no choice but to go along with their plan. The idea was simple: all they had to do was reinvent themselves. New last names, new backstories, new families.
It was actually quite fun once they got started. Brainstorming new potential names was great, and Tommy was very proud of the ones they chose to settle on. Tommy Tall, named after the Swedish word for pine tree, because pine trees were tough. They were tall and spiky, just like Tommy, though Freppa had laughed when Tommy said that for some reason. Määnin Mannerheim was named after that other Mannerheim, you know the one. Tommy didn't, but everyone else seemed to, and if Määnin thought it was a cool name, then it was. Freppa was the hardest to find a name for, nothing seemed to fit his boring vibe. They settled on Sippus after a local cab driver, who was a nice guy, just like Freppa.
Backstories were easier. Tommy decided he was the son of a musician, a rockabilly legend who met his wife at a rock concert, instead of two boring, normal people. Määnin was also the son of a musician, a cool man who loved to drink and play music. Freppa didn’t want a new family, he liked the one he already had for some reason, but after some light bullying, he agreed to telling people he had a nice mom called Marlene, named after his favourite aunt. They decided they should say they formed the band in school, instead of the truth, which was that the band had existed since they were basically toddlers. Tommy Norrgård, Määnin Åhman and Freppa Holmström didn't go to school together until they were about 14, but Tommy Tall, Määnin Mannerheim and Freppa Sippus did.
With the new story they were telling the world prepared, there was only one thing left to do: convince their brothers to keep their mouths shut. The plan would never work if Kaj decided to mention they had identical twin brothers in an interview or something. It was easier said than done. They were all very offended by the suggestion that being associated with Kaj would be bad for Vörjeans image. Tommy didn’t expect anything different, he knew they were an emotional bunch, but he didn’t expect them to take it this hard. The whole thing devolved into a yelling match and ended with Jakob storming out in tears. Tommy had no choice but to follow him. If he wanted to keep the truth from coming out, he needed to talk to his brother.
He found him outside, sitting on the ground with his head in his hand. He sat down next to him, nudging him lightly with his shoulder.
“Why are you so upset?”.
Jakob didn't look up, but Tommy could hear him laugh at the question.
“Why am I upset? Seriously? You’re so ashamed of me you’ve made up a whole new family, and you’re asking me why I’m upset?”.
“Oh come on, it’s not like that”.
Okay, maybe it was exactly like that, but he couldn’t let Jakob know that.
“Vörjeans are supposed to be tough, we’re meant to be rockstars, and we can’t be that if we’re also Kajs brothers”.
“Why not?”.
“Because you guys are not exactly cool, no offence”.
“Offence still taken”.
Time to switch gears, clearly telling Jakob he was lame wouldn’t make him feel better.
“All my life I’ve been Jakob's twin brother, but with the music I just want to be Tommy, and with how successful you guys are starting to get, that’s never going to happen, I will forever be nothing more than Jakob Norrgårds brother”.
Jakob finally looked up at him, eyes still redrimmed, but otherwise looking a little less sad.
“I understand that”.
“You do?”.
“Yeah, I’ve been Tommy's brother my whole life. Maybe you’re right, maybe it would be nice not to be a twin for a bit. I’ll talk to the others”.
And with that, it was settled. Vörjeans and Kaj were not siblings, they just went to school together. They were acquaintances, basically strangers, nothing more. It was the perfect plan, and Tommy could see no way that it would go wrong.