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It’s been a week since El’s death. A week since one of Dustin’s best friends sacrificed herself for others, just like Eddie. Dustin didn’t understand why it kept happening. Why was he so powerless to help the people he loved? Would it continue to happen? Would it happen to Steve too?
Dustin woke up. He looked around. He was in his room, snuggled close to Steve, who had an arm around him. Yesterday, the military finally let them out of confinement after questioning. It was the worst Dustin had ever felt. El just died, and he was being asked all these questions while dealing with the grief. The worst part was being confined in separate cells from everyone, so he couldn’t even talk to the others or get comfort from Steve.
Once they were all let out, Dustin instinctively ran to Steve and hugged him. Dustin couldn’t even see anyone else in that moment—all he saw was Steve.
Steve kept asking questions: “Are you alright?” “Did they hurt you?” “Tell me what I can do?”
But Dustin just continued squeezing Steve, fearing that if he let go, they’d be separated again. Dustin didn’t know how long they hugged, but when they let go, everyone else was gathered around. The group talked amongst themselves for an hour. They talked about El’s sacrifice, what the military asked them, and what to do now.
Dustin zoned out for most of the conversation. He thought back to El and all the time they spent together. She was one of the coolest and most thoughtful people he had ever met, and he couldn’t do anything for her, even to the end. Dustin kept thinking of this until he felt a force on his head that brought him out of his stupor.
Steve, noticing something was wrong with Dustin, put his hand on Dustin’s head and looked at him. “You alright, Henderson?”
Dustin saw Steve’s worried face and kicked himself; he hated making Steve worried. “Yeah, no, I’m fine. Thanks, Steve.” Dustin reassured Steve and engaged himself in the conversation.
After the group finished talking, they started going their separate ways. That’s when Dustin turned to Steve and asked. “Can you please stay at my house tonight?” Dustin couldn’t bear to be without Steve another day.
Steve gave an reassuring smile back at Dustin, “Of course, buddy.” Steve responded, patting Dustin’s back. Dustin felt like weight had been lifted off him.
Steve and Dustindrove to the Henderson’s house. When they arrived, Dustin’s mom Claudia rushed her son and, with tears in her eyes, made sure he was okay. Steve and Dustin explained what happened to the best of their ability, which only got an exasperated “Ok,” out of Claudia. All that mattered was Dustin was safe.
Dustin convinced Steve to sleep in his bed. It didn’t really take any convincing; Steve was more than happy to oblige Dustin in anything he wanted.
“Hey, bud, are you okay? Can you sleep?” The familiar voice broke Dustin out of his memory. He looked up at Steve and saw his groggy eyes. He felt bad for waking Steve up.
“Yeah, no, sorry, just shifting around,” Dustin responded. Steve could tell Dustin had something he wanted to say, so he moved closer to Dustin and pulled him into a hug so Dustin’s head was on Steve’s chest.
“Come here, dude,” Steve said as he started to doze off again. Dustin didn’t know how Steve knew what he wanted, but he was grateful. Dustin could hear Steve’s heartbeat and could feel Steve’s warm body wrap around him. Dustin loved this warmth; it reminded him that Steve was alive, alive and by his side. It made him feel safe.
Dustin quickly fell to sleep. Steve watched over Dustin as Dustin fell into slumber. “Love you, bud,” Steve whispered. He knew Dustin had a lot on his mind, and he would figure it out, but right now he just needed to be there for Dustin.
Dustin was the first to wake up. As the light shone through his room, he could smell his mom making breakfast. He lifted his head off of Steve’s chest and saw that Steve was still asleep. He knew he should probably try to get up, but he wanted to stay right where he was. So he did. He stayed listening to Steve’s heartbeat for 5 minutes until Steve woke up.
“Morning, Dustin,” Steve said as he rubbed his eyes with one hand and ruffled Dustin’s hair with the other.
“Morning,” Dustin responded with a smile on his face, looking at Steve.
“Well, wanna get some breakfast? Smells pretty good.” Steve said as he gestured to the door with his head. Dustin nodded, and the two got up from bed and headed to the dining room.
“Oh, hello, you two! I hope you are ready for breakfast!” Claudia enthusiastically said as she finished breakfast and distributed what she had made onto three plates.
“Thank you, Mrs. Henderson, looks great!” Steve said as he took a seat at the table. Dustin took the seat right next to Steve. “Thanks, Mom,” Dustin said with a smile.
“Oh, no problem, boys!” Claudia cheerfully responded as she sat down across from the two boys.
Breakfast went by with small talk and occasional prying for information from Claudia. Once everyone was done, Claudia went to retrieve everyone’s plates until Steve stopped her.
“Let me handle it, Mrs. Henderson. It’s the least I could do.” Steve smiled at the older Henderson.
“Oh, thank you, Steve,” Claudia responded. Steve nodded as he headed toward the kitchen sink. Claudia turned to Dustin. “I’m gonna pick up some stuff from the store. Is there anything you need, honey?”
Dustin shook his head, “No mom, I’m fine.” Claudia gave a sad smile to her son and headed out the door. Dustin turned to Steve, “Steve?”
Steve turned his head as he was washing the dishes. “Yeah, dude?”
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Dustin asked; he needed something to take his mind off things.
“Sure, buddy. Just pick a movie, and I’ll be there in a second.” Steve responded; he thought this was a great opportunity to be with Dustin and maybe convince Dustin to open up.
Dustin stood up and looked through his movies. One of the movies he saw was Return of the Jedi. He winced at it, remembering the jab he said in the Upside Down about Steve. “Every child loves it so, tracks.”
He hated how he treated Steve this past year. He thought it would help stop him from getting hurt. He thought if he could just distance himself from Steve, Steve would be okay…that he wouldn’t end up dead like Eddie. But it didn’t help; in fact, they fought, and Steve still almost got himself killed.
Steve always did that. He always helped others at his own expense. He let himself get tortured and drugged by Russians, continually at risk of getting killed by monsters, and almost died to save Nancy and Jonathan from Dustin’s screw-up. And how does Dustin repay him? Berating and belittling him, Dustin felt like the biggest piece of shit.
“Alright, bud, you pick a mov-Dustin? Are you okay?” Steve looked at Dustin, who had tears forming in his eyes. Steve knelt and held Dustin’s shoulders. Dustin used a hand and wiped his eyes.
“Yeah, I just- OH, let’s do this one.” Dustin picked up Back to the Future and was getting ready to put it in.
“Dusti-”
“Steve, let’s just move on.” Dustin quickly tried to change the subject. Steve relented, but knew he was going to go back to whatever that was.
Dustin put the movie in, and the two of them sat on the couch. As the two started watching the movie, it started to feel like it was before things got so messy. Steve got facts about the movie wrong, Dustin corrected him, and Steve continued to get facts wrong on purpose to get a rise out of Dustin.
At one point, Steve lands a hand on Dustin’s hair and ruffles it, which annoyed Dustin, who was focused on the movie. Steve smiled, looking at Dustin being this relaxed. It feels like the first time in a long time that Dustin felt like that.
After the movie finished, Dustin went to retrieve the tape from the player. Steve thought now would be as good a time as any to start bringing up his concerns.
“So…can we finally have a chat, Henderson?” Steve asked as he sat up, prepping for this conversation.
Dustin turned his head and sighed, “About what, Steve? I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”
“Bullshit, dude, I know something is on your mind. I thought we were over this pushing each other away crap. I wanna help.” Steve pleaded with Dustin. He wasn’t gonna let up on this. He wasn’t gonna fail like he did last time when Dustin had to deal with Eddie’s death.
Dustin, on the other hand, didn’t want to get into it. He didn’t want to bother Steve with his depressive thoughts right now: “Can we please not do this today?”
“No, Dustin! I’m not gonna give up on you. Please, just talk to me, bud!” Steve knelt to be at Dustin’s level and placed his hands on Dustin’s shoulders.
Dustin couldn’t look Steve in the eyes. Seeing Steve so worried for him broke down some of his resolve. In a small voice, Dustin let out, “Steve, I can’t do anything.”
“What?” Steve asked. “What do you mean you can’t do anything?” Steve had a puzzled look on his face.
“El died right in front of me…just like Eddie. I was right there, Steve, and I couldn’t do anything to help her. Why can I never help my friends?” Dustin couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. Vocalizing this really hit Dustin hard.
Steve pulled Dustin into a full-on hug now. “Bud, no, you can’t think like that. Sometimes things are just out of our control.” Steve rubbed Dustin’s back with one hand and placed the other on Dustin’s head, pulling him to his chest
Dustin tightly held onto Steve’s shirt. “It doesn’t matter, I couldn’t do anything to help. What if it keeps happening? What if it happens to yo-”
“Dustin! Listen, we can’t help what happens in the future, but I promise. I will do everything in my power to make you go through that again.” Steve assertively said as he kept rubbing Dustin’s back. ”Dustin, I want you to know that El and Eddie didn’t do what they did to make you feel helpless. They did it because of their own kind hearts. It’s not your fault, and it’s nothing you could have stopped.”
Steve's words were nice to hear. Dustin didn’t fully believe it, but Steve hugging him helped calm him down. Being enveloped in Steve’s kind and warm body soothed him in a way he couldn’t quite explain.
“I don’t deserve you, Steve,” Dustin said as his sobbing started dying down.
“Buddy, you can’t seriously think that. In what world do you not deserve me? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Steve said, He couldn’t believe Dustin would even say that. Dustin was one of the bright spots of Steve’s life. Steve became a better person because of Dustin, and he was happier because of Dustin as well.
Dustin let go of Steve and pushed away from the hug. Dustin looked down, “Steve, you’re always there for me, you always protect me. But I make fun of your intelligence, push you away, lash out, and you’re still there for me.”
“Henderson, it’s okay. I-” Steve started to say before Dustin started speaking
“When we got you back from the Russians, and you were tortured and drugged, I told you to toughen up. I insinuated that your liking of Return of the Jedi made you a child. I called you fake.” Dustin started listing everything he saw as evidence of him being a bad friend.
Steve couldn’t lie; some of the things Dustin said did hurt, but Dustin was a kid, and Dustin was going through a lot. Most kids don’t deal with supernatural monsters and communist regimes. “It’s fine, Dustin. Seriously, don’t be too hard on yourself.”
Dustin shook his head, “No, Steve! It’s not fine. I-I hate how I’ve treated you. You’re my best friend, Steve. I’m sorry.” Dustin apologized, looking straight at Steve.
Steve knew Dustin needed to feel like he was absolved of the guilt he’s put on himself. “I forgive you, Dustin. Now come here, dude.” Steve pulled Dustin back into a hug and ran his hand through Dustin’s hair.
“I promise I’ll be better. I love you, Steve.” Dustin said a little muffled against Steve’s chest.
“I love you, too, man. But I think you sell yourself too short, Dustin. Cause to me you're the bestest friend a man could ask for.” Steve said.
“You’re just saying that,” Dustin answered. Steve chuckled at that and shook his head.
“I really have no idea how you can doubt it. I mean, without you, I don’t think I’d be half the man I am now.” Steve reminisced about all the good times he spent with Dustin. Dustin came to him at a time when he felt all alone. Dustin helped Steve feel like he had someone. Dustin was like Steve’s “brother.”
Dustin's eyes went wide, and he looked up at Steve. “Huh, what did you say?” Dustin couldn’t have heard that right.
Steve smiled and ruffled Dustin’s hair. “You heard me. I see you as a brother, dude. I mean, you kinda are. I feel the same way about you that Byers, I mean, Jonathan feels about his brother.”
It was like Dustin’s eyes sparkled at that. He never thought Steve ever thought about him like that. But thinking about it, the word did feel right, “I feel the same way.” Dustin said with a smile.
Steve did a nervous laugh. “Well, I’m glad you do. I want to be there for you, Dustin. It hurts when it seems like you don’t think you can tell me things.”
“I’m sorry,” Dustin said, feeling a bit ashamed, until Steve tapped him lightly on the arm.
“It’s okay. I get it. Since you said sorry, I’ve been wanting to make an apology of my own.” Steve finally wanted to get his own guilt off his chest.
Dustin looked at Steve, confused, “Apology for what?”
Steve sighed before starting, “I’m sorry for not really helping you deal with what happened with Eddie. I mean, you were going through a lot, and I just didn’t understand how to deal with it.”
Dustin didn’t know Steve felt like that. Dustin purposely pushed Steve away; it’s not like Steve didn’t try. “Steve, you tried, I know you tried, I just was being difficult.”
“That’s no excuse, man. I should have been more persistent. It just got under my skin how upset you were, and it only made things worse. Then I said all those awful things about Eddie, I really want you to know I didn’t mean it, Dustin.” Steve started to tear up at the end, thinking about how awful their argument was in the Upside Down.
“Steve. Thank you, it means a lot to know how much you care. I know you didn’t mean any harm.” Dustin said, now being the one to rub Steve’s back. It was an awkward situation since he always felt like Steve was the one comforting him.
“Dustin, can we promise to talk to each other when we have problems? I never want to feel so distant from my brother ever again.” Steve proposed. Wiping the tears from his eyes.
Dustin nodded, “I promise, I never want to be apart from you again. It was Hell.”
“Yeah, it was,” Steve said, pulling Dustin into the tightest hug he could do without hurting him.
As they both comforted one another, they had what felt like the most genuine smile they had in a while. Steve was overjoyed, feeling like they were both back to some sense of understanding and could move together closer than they were in the past.
Dustin squeezed Steve. Not everything was fixed, but having Steve as a brother at least made him feel like he wasn’t going through it alone.