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Ed is fucking exhausted. His lower back is screaming at him for a rest—but he’s finally done with work. He has his Friday evening planned exactly how he needs it to go. He’s not going out for a night full of music and drinks, very much not. Tonight’s program will go as follows: change into his favorite pj’s, eat empanadas sitting on the couch, watch random videos, have cake as dessert, and fall asleep while his devoted boyfriend massages his feet.
He’s currently changing clothes, and Stede is out getting the food. When he braids his hair, he takes a moment to appreciate the person in the mirror, the softness he’s allowing himself to have now. It’s been almost two years since he went to the flea market to get rid of his leather gear and met this sunshineman turned antiques collector; two years of putting himself back together with new projects and the help of sweet morning kisses.
The anniversary of their first date is three weeks from today. Ed has big, shiny plans for it, saved securely in the back of his jewelry drawer.
Stede gets home with the empanadas, and they get settled. This is exactly what Ed needed: low lights, good food, the warmth of Stede’s body pressed to his side. Finally, Ed relaxes.
He lets Stede navigate through their YouTube to find a video while they eat.
“Look, darling, there's a new Hot Ones episode with Kate McKinnon.”
“Oh fuck, I love her. Play that one.”
The night gets even better. Kate is one of Ed's celebrity crushes. Sure, he’s found the love of his life, but a guy can fantasize a little. She’s funny, smart, blonde, and when she smiles, she flashes a dimple that…Ok, Ed is maybe starting to see a pattern here.
He kisses Stede on the cheek and turns his attention to the interview. Three empanadas later, Kate is dealing with the spicier wings, and the host starts to interrogate her about animals because of her love for bizarre creatures.
“I’m going to pull a critter up on the monitor over here, and it’s up to you to identify it. All right. Up first, do you know what that is?”
“That’s a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach.”
“That’s a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach.”
Kate and Stede said at the same time. Stede was giggling in delight—that man loved a good trivia.
Still, the answer makes Ed pause mid-bite. This whole situation feels very familiar.
“That is a deep-sea Anglerfish. I’ll tell you—you know how they fuck?”
Oh, shit. Ed’s ears start buzzing. He can still hear Stede talking in the background, something about being gay, but still considering that moment hot. Of course it’s hot. It's hot as fuck. So much it sends Ed directly into space-time travel inside his own memory.
Stede had reserved a patio table at the restaurant. Or the whole patio, Ed hadn’t been sure at the time. They had been the only ones outside, and the privacy meant that Stede’s attention was aimed directly at him. It felt gentle and curious, like a soft blanket over his shoulders.
The patio was tucked away on the back of the building, secluded. Vines and trees covered the walls. Bistro lights crossed the space, switching on as the last rays of sunset colored the sky. A light spring breeze was ruffling Stede's hair, making the temperature perfect for an intimate garden dinner. Ed felt like he had been transported to a hidden corner of Stede’s world where they could share all of their secrets.
Had it really only been yesterday that they’d met?
“That purple blouse looks delightful on you, Ed. If you don’t mind me saying it.”
Fucking delightful. Ed has never been called delightful. He took a sip of his wine to get his shit together, hoping his blush would get hidden under the glass and the beard. What was even happening? He had game! Supposedly!
“Thanks, mate. You look good, too.” Stede brightened up at the half-assed compliment. Ed could definitely do better—but was Stede not getting complimented all the time? Unreal. He was wearing a navy flannel shirt that looked incredibly soft and clung deliciously to his chest, shoulders, and arms. Ed’s mouth watered, and it wasn’t for the food.
“Yeah, man. That shirt makes your shoulders look delightful,” Ed said, dropping his voice a tone. Stede blushed; points to Ed, who was back in the game. “Is it silk?”
“Oh, it’s a rather exquisite cashmere and cotton blend, actually. It’s incredibly soft and cozy. Here, you can touch it, if you like.” Stede extended his arm, presumably to allow Ed to touch the sleeve, and Ed seized his opportunity. He gently cupped Stede’s forearm from below, drawing it nearer. He slowly closed the distance and, keeping eye contact, gently rubbed his cheekbone with the cuff fabric. He wasn’t expecting it to be that soft, so his eyelids fluttered for a second. Stede gasped softly, but he didn’t take back his arm.
Ed could feel how Stede’s fingers twitched, as if they wanted to bury themselves in Ed’s hair. He couldn't keep thinking in that direction if he actually wanted to eat dinner. He released Stede's arm, who pulled back and adjusted the collar of his shirt. Stede now featured a pretty burgundy blush, spread all the way down to his chest.
Stede cleared his throat and asked, “Do you fancy a fine fabric?”
“I think maybe I do.” Ed smiled, pleased that he was devastating Stede. If there was one thing Ed Teach knew how to do, it was flirt.
The sound of shoes crunching over gravel announced the slow approach of their server. Right. With all the flirting, they’d forgotten to discuss what they would be ordering.
Ed chose his classic, Lemon Cacio e Pepe, while Stede ordered the Spaghetti Bolognese, extra tomatoes.
“Why the lemon?” Stede asked, back to the attentiveness over Ed.
“Dunno. I guess I like the tang,” answered Ed, cracking a breadstick. “Why the extra tomatoes?” See, Ed could also be attentive.
“The sweetness. Actually, the tang too. Combined, it’s more like a…” Stede paused, looking for the word.
“Like a zangy,” Ed provided.
“So you’re the tangy, and I’m the zangy,” Stede added playfully.
“Ha! Want to be the tang to my tongue?” Ed tried the flirting angle.
“The tune of my song.” Stede took the devastatingly romantic one, dammit. Ed didn’t have an easy comeback for that one.
“The…tin in my foil?” Except, apparently, that one. They looked at each other for a second until they both erupted in full belly laughs.
“Sorry, mate, not that good at pick-up lines.”
“It was adorable. I’m the one who’s bad at flirting,” Stede said timidly. That couldn’t be possible.
“But you got yourself a hot date.” Ed pointed out, emphasizing with half a breadstick.
“If I'm being honest, I have no idea how that happened. You showed up at the stall, dropped your leathers at my table, and I simply…blacked out. The next thing I knew, I was holding a card with your number, and Lucius was yelling in my ear, asking me how the hell I managed to get a date with you.”
A giggle escaped Ed’s lips, remembering exactly how that happened. Stede hadn’t even looked flustered yesterday. He had asked about the leathers, and because Ed said it was a long story, Stede had invited him to tell him during dinner. Straightforward, no second-guessing, no sly glances. Only open interest and curiosity. Ed, of course, had said yes.
A few hours later, he’d gotten a text from Stede: “Dear Ed. This is Stede Bonnet, The Gentleman Antiquarian. I wanted to confirm that our scheduled dinner is, indeed, a date. I would very much hope so. Yours, SB.”
“Ah, now I understand the mysterious text.”
“Exactly. So you see, it’s only luck that I got a very handsome date tonight. Even luckier that you stayed.”
“We’ll see if fortune is still on your side. Maybe I’m only here for the delicious food.”
“I knew it! Fine, I’ll take my chances anyway. I’ll have to turn up the volume on the romance.”
Ed didn’t answer, just smiled while their dishes arrived and were placed in front of them. Stede beamed softly at him, and Ed couldn’t think of any way of turning this date even more romantic.
The food looked delicious, so they thanked their server and dug right in. The balance between the creaminess and the light spice in Ed’s pasta was so perfect that he closed his eyes and couldn’t hold back a moan at the first bite. He might not have noticed that he’d done it if it weren’t for the tiny plop! he heard a second later. He looked at Stede and found him staring back, holding an empty fork, his mouth agape.
“Stede, you okay over there?”
“Huh? Ah, yes, yes, perfectly fine. Ha! Sorry.”
Stede busied himself swirling noodles back into his fork, apparently very focused on getting the perfect serving. Ed was becoming increasingly obsessed with how easily he could fluster Stede and how cute he looked. But he also wanted to give him a break. Let him do more of the romancing he’d promised.
“Oh my god, this is good! I need to congratulate Roach,” Stede said a few minutes later. Ed must’ve widened his eyes a bit too much, so Stede clarified, “It’s the chef’s nickname! He picked it because he survived a lot of terrible kitchens before finally opening this place for himself. I asked why he didn’t name the restaurant Periplaneta Americana, as a reference to his nickname. He said it would attract too much attention from the health department. He was right, of course. I just love a bit of Latin.”
Ed held back a shudder—he hated those fuckers. But listening to Stede speak in Latin? That was, in fact, interesting. He would need to think of a way to make Stede say more of those words that sounded like brand new chalk on a smooth blackboard.
Ed had another bite of pasta and leaned back in the chair, enjoying the companionable silence that comes with sharing a good meal. That moment felt like a bubble in time, one he was sure he would revisit often in his future. He could feel in the air how something inevitable was about to happen, and he wanted to welcome it with open arms. Whatever it brought, it felt as if it was meant for him.
Night had fallen, and a few stars shone past the string of light bulbs. The tree branches above them swayed with the breeze. That’s when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something flying past.
He turned his face rapidly, trying to identify the threat. He searched left and right, but couldn’t see anything. False alarm, he thought. Back to my date, he thought, like a fool. Unaware that the threat was in the middle of his fucking table. Something with fucking wings and shit had landed on the glass candle holder.
Before he could react (he was still deciding between flipping the whole table or running in the opposite direction), Stede looked up from his plate.
“Oh, hello there! You’re gonna burn your little legs there. Come here,” he said to the invader. Then, to Ed’s bewilderment, he lifted it on the tip of his finger, bringing it closer to himself. Now that it was further from Ed and no longer an active threat, Ed could see the details much better. It was a tiny moth, with bright pink and yellow wings and a pair of yellow antennae. Ed supposed it was pretty interesting, for an insect. Still, he couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that came with being in proximity to any kind of bug. Stede looked like he was about to say something, but he stopped. He must’ve noticed the tension radiating from Ed’s body.
“Ok, off you go, little guy,” he said as he gave his finger the tiniest of wiggles, encouraging the moth to fly somewhere else. Ed let his shoulders drop and sent Stede a thankful smile, and they got back to eating.
It was kind of sweet how Stede handled a small creature so delicately, so kindly. Ed might have a grudge with nature, but Stede’s wonder for it was attractive. Lacking a better comparison, he had to admit he felt like a moth attracted to light.
“So, friend of yours?” Ed asked, wanting to know what Stede was about to say before.
“Ah, yes! With the spring, they’re starting to get active at night, and they love the trees on this patio. The crew only turns the lights on for the rare occasions they have customers back here. But they’re usually turned off. Artificial lighting like this can impair their sense of orientation and their reproductive abilities. Our friend was probably in search of a date of his own and got confused.”
“His? Looking for a date?”
“That was a male specimen of Dryocampa Rubicunda, or the Rosy Maple Moth.” Oh my god, there was the Latin again. “You can tell because his wings are narrower than his female counterparts. And because only males have bipectinate antennae, which resemble a pair of feathers. They have to look cunty to dazzle a partner, so to speak.” Stede's eyes lit up with excitement while he talked, and Ed was definitely feeling dazzled. Stede was knowledgeable, eloquent, and cheeky. Hot, Ed found it so hot. There was this smudge of bolognese close to Stede’s mouth, and Ed wanted to kiss it clean.
“At this stage, they’re only alive to search for a mate. They don’t have mouths, you see, so they can’t eat. They can’t kiss either, which is sad, but I guess they can get freaky with their antennae.”
That was it. The most romantic, hottest, most transcendent experience of Ed’s life so far. In front of him was a gorgeous blond who was funny, obliviously sexy, kind to creatures great and small, and to Ed’s imminent doom, an absolute fucking nerd. He was mentally deleting his dating apps, his situationships’ phone numbers, and blocking shady exes from his socials. From this moment on, he knew he wouldn’t want anyone other than Stede. He just needed to be smart enough to seal the deal.
“We can kiss. If you like, I mean.” Yeah, that was the smartest thing Ed could think of. Well, he figured it couldn’t be worse, right? But Stede was looking at him and not saying anything. He knew he shouldn’t fucking say it, and still, he couldn’t help saying:
“To honor the moths?” Fucking hell. “I’m sorry, I’ll—” Ed started the motion to get up and run into the sea.
“Yes!” Stede almost yelled. Then, in a lower tone, he added, “I would love that. To kiss you, I mean.”
“Oh. Ok. Uhm.” Ed scooted his chair to the side of the table. Stede followed, and they met in the middle. Ed could see in Stede’s eyes how much he wanted this too. Stede’s shy smile reminded him of the smudge. He grabbed a napkin and gently wiped the sauce off Stede’s face. “There, brand new.”
Stede looked at the napkin, then back at Ed, and it was like a thousand thoughts crossed his mind. Whatever idea he had landed on, it made his eyes glitter even brighter.
“Thank you,” he whispered and placed his hand on Ed’s face, just holding it, as though it was something delicate to admire. Ed sank into his hand and his adoration, and without waiting for more, closed the distance between them.
The kiss was a sweet, perfect dance of warm lips. Pressing and retreating just to press again, and again. They didn't seem to want to separate at all.
Ed could feel himself falling deeper with each passing second. This single moment in time was stretching beyond its limits, into something that would last forever. Ed knew it then: that was the beginning of the rest of his life.
“…Ed? Ed!”
Ed blinks the memory away and finds himself back at their apartment. The video is paused, and Stede is holding the remote, looking at him with curiosity and a touch of worry.
“Yeah, love?” Ed answers and stretches lazily.
“Where were you?”
“Ah, I was on a date.”
“With Kate McKinnon?”
“Nah, with you. I was remembering our first date. I still can't believe you rented the patio just for us, you nut. But do you remember how you talked about that moth?”
“Did I? I was sitting in front of the most gorgeous person on Earth, and I was talking about bugs?”
“Yeah… it was incredible. And do you know what I decided back then?” Ed asks, snuggling into Stede’s chest, looking up at him.
“What, dearest?” asks Stede, tucking a strand of Ed’s hair behind his ear.
“That I wanted to hear you talk about bugs for the rest of my life.”
Stede looks at him with wonder, maybe a little surprise. It’s the same look from that night, from every time Ed tells him how beautiful he is. It’s the same look he gives Ed when he does something as simple as giving him the last French fry on his plate. “Would you like that?”
“I do. I do want that.”
A tear runs down Stede’s cheek, landing on his dimple. This time, Ed wipes Stede’s face with a little kiss there, and then another for the other cheek. Until Stede stops crying, and they are kissing each other between giggles.
A few minutes later, Stede interrupts. “By the way, this doesn’t fully count as a proposal, because I have this whole thing pla—”
Ed places a finger on his lips to shush what he knows was going to be an adorable little rant.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, me too. I love it when you get bitchy. Take me to bed now and explain to me carefully, step by step, why this doesn’t count.”
“Very well, then.”