Archive of Our Own ^beta

The Jane Project

Carmichael: Who the fuck named this groupchat? It sounds like a bad teenage movie from the early 00's

Marleau: I did

Marleau: And if you don't like it feel free to create your own

Marleau: Now everyone knows what they have to do?

Connors: Calm down Marly

Carmichael: You sounds like a fucking drill sergeant

Marleau has removed Carmichael from the groupchat

Marleau: Anyone else has something to say?

St-Simon has added Carmichael to the groupchat

St-Simon: No we're good

Connors: Tonight we have to distract Roz so you can get Jane's number from his phone

Carmichael: Still can't believe she's making Roz blush

Carmichael: ROZ

Carmichael: He has fucked more girls than all of us combined and this Montreal chick is making him blush

Carmichael: That pussy gotta be really good

Marleau: Behave or I'm kicking you out again

St-Simon: I know he said it wasn't serious between them but you guys believe him?

Connors: Nope

Marleau: Absolutely not

Marleau: Thought he was going to throw a tantrum that time the flight to Montreal was cancelled

Marleau: You don't act like that for someone you're just casual with

Connors: And don't forget he has started turning away girls when we go out

Carmichael: Also she's the only one he allows to leave marks on him

Carmichael: Remember the last game against the Metros?

Carmichael: The next day he looked like he got attacked by a cheetah or something

St-Simon: What do we even know about Jane? Besides the fact she likes to mark her territory

Connors: Nothing really

Marleau: Hence this plan

Marleau: Whoever she is, Roz clearly likes her a lot and whenever they talk, he's in a good mood and he doesn't torture us during practice

Marleau: So first step is to get her number

Marleau: Second is to text her and let her know how grateful we are

Marleau: Third step is to try to convince her to make things official with Roz

Connors: WOAH

St-Simon: How many fucking steps are there in your plan

Carmichael: Wait, I have the vision

Carmichael: Jane moving to Boston

Carmichael: Roz marrying her and getting to fuck her on a daily basis rather than once every few weeks

Carmichael: Maybe a few mini Rozanovs running around would calm him down for good

Connors: You guys are getting WAY ahead of yourself

St-Simon: Why don't we just start by getting her number before you start planning the wedding or naming babies?

Marleau: Alright then, boys

Marleau: Showtime!

●○●○●

Carmichael: That whole thing went better than expected

Marleau: Speak for yourself 💀

Marleau: When I opened his chat with Jane, the last messages were all dirty talk and a dick pic

Connors: 😂

St-Simon: 😂

Carmichael: 😏

Carmichael: Kinky or vanilla?

Marleau: Fuck you

Marleau: I'm not telling you that

St-Simon: Booooooo 👎

Connors: You're usually not a prude so I'll take a guess

Connors: The dirty talk wasn't from Roz

Connors: It was from Jane

St-Simon: OOOOOOOH

Carmichael: Damn 😂

Carmichael: Roz got himself a dirty girl

Marleau: I can put you three in timeout and talk to her alone you know?

Carmichael: Daddy's mad

Marleau: Call me that one more time and I'll make sure you're benched for the rest of the season

St-Simon: Fine

Connors: We'll behave

Marleau: That's what you keep saying

Marleau: Here, I'm adding her

Marleau: AND FUCKING BEHAVE

Marleau: I'M SERIOUS GUYS

Marleau has added Jane to the groupchat

Jane: Hello?

Marleau: Hi

Carmichael: Hello 😁

Connors: Good evening Jane 😁

St-Simon: Hiii 😁

Marleau: Don't pay attention to these freaks, they don't know how to be normal

Carmichael: HEY!

Marleau: I'm Cliff Marleau, Rozanov's teammate

Jane: How did you get this number?

St-Simon: We went through his phone last time we went out 😇

Carmichael: We are curious about you 😇

Marleau: Jesus fucking christ guys

Marleau: Jane, don't listen to them

Marleau: We just wanted to thank you

Marleau: Roz is always in a much better mood when he talks to you so he isn't killing us during practice anymore

Marleau: So thank you for that

Marleau: Jane?

St-Simon: Oh oh

Carmichael: Think we should start running before Roz comes for our heads?

Connors: I think witness protection is the safest bet right now

Jane: Sorry

Jane: I was just freaking out

Jane: I needed a minute

Jane: You can't tell people

Jane: About me and Rozanov

Jane: Please

St-Simon: Woah

Carmichael: No one is snitching on anybody

Marleau: Sorry for freaking you out

Connors: We really just thought we owed you some thanks for the way you've been lighting up Roz's mood

Jane: Thanks

Jane: I guess

Marleau: It is a compliment

Marleau: He's had plenty of hook ups over the years but you're the only one who makes him blush like that

Carmichael: Check it out

Carmichael: [file.jpeg]

Jane: ♥️

Jane: Sorry for freaking out

Jane: I was just not expecting that tonight

Connors: So I guess you don't want me to give your number to my girlfriend so she can add you to the WAGs groupchat

Jane: No

Jane: I don't know

Jane: Maybe someday?

Jane: But not today

St-Simon: No stress

St-Simon: Also if you could NOT mention this conversation to Roz please 🙏🏻

Jane: I won't tell him

Jane: Feels like him being in jail for your murders would complicate things

Jane: But who knows with the league anyway? Considering Kent is still playing

Carmichael: AH!

Connors: 😂

Marleau: I like you already

●○●○●

Carmichael: Jane

Jane: Yes?

Carmichael: I had a question for you

Marleau: I swear to fucking God

Carmichael: Are you part cheetah or something because damn! 😏

St-Simon: Those marks you leave on Roz? You really are trying to mark your territory 😂

Marleau: For fuck sake

Marleau: Relax, Jane

Marleau: Don't freak out

Marleau: Roz isn't complaining

Marleau: If anything, he looks happy showing them off

Connors: I caught him staring at them in the mirror and he was grinning

Connors: Not smiling

Connors: Like full on grinning from one ear to the other

Connors: Trust me, he LOVES them

Jane: Thanks, Marleau

Jane: But I wasn't going to freak out this time

Jane: He's the one who said that maybe we could start being a little less careful

Carmichael: Less careful you say?😏

Marleau: Don't

Carmichael: Does that mean we might have a mini Rozanov as our new mascot soon?

Marleau has removed Carmichael from the groupchat

Marleau: I swear this guy is worse than a kid sometimes

St-Simon: It wasn't that bad this time

Connors: I expected worse from him to be honest

Jane: I know the feeling

Jane: I've got this friend that would probably be put in timeout a lot if the roles were reversed

Jane: But to answer his question

Connors: OH

St-Simon: 👀

Jane: Don't expect baby Rozanov anytime soon

Jane: Not for a few years at least

Marleau: But maybe someday?

Jane: It would be nice, yes

St-Simon: DIBS ON BEING THE GODFATHER

Connors: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID WE SHOULD CALM DOWN AND NOT FIND BABY NAMES ALREADY

Marleau: 🤦‍♂️

Jane: Hold on

Jane: You talked about me and Rozanov having kids before???

St-Simon: Gotta go

Connors: Sure Marly can explain this one on his own 😘 BYE JANE

Marleau: GUYS

Marleau: I swear I'm getting you two traded

Jane: 🤨

Marleau: It's just that we never saw Roz actually being into someone

Marleau: Not just a hookup

Marleau: Since he basically stopped having those anyway

Marleau: So obviously we started joking around you might be the one and all

Marleau; Marriage, kids, everything, you know?

Jane: Fuck

Jane: I was pissed at you guys but now I just miss him

Marleau: Good thing we play in Montreal next week 😉

Marleau: You'll get to see your man

●○●○●

Carmichael: FUCK THE METROS 🖕🏻🖕🏻

Connors: 🖕🏻🖕🏻

St-Simon: AND A HAT TRICK FROM ROZ 👏🏻

Jane: Don't you have like a team groupchat to do this in instead?

Marleau: C'mon Jane

Marleau: Even though you're a Metros fan you have to admit that wasn't their best night

Connors: And your man played BEAUTIFULLY 🤌

St-Simon: You're meeting up after he's done talking to the press?😏

Carmichael: That man deserves a good blowjob after tonight

Marleau: Jesus christ

Carmichael: Get off your high horses Marly

Carmichael: We're all friends here

Carmichael: So we can say it when we think someone deserves to be blown

Carmichael: And after tonight Roz definitely deserves a reward

Jane: Why am I even talking to you guys?

Connors: Cause you love us 🥰

Jane: That remains to be seen

Marleau: Ouch

St-Simon: 😢

Carmichael: My heart Jane 💔 you're breaking it

●○●○●

St-Simon: We learned something tonight guys

Connors: ?

Marleau: ?

St-Simon: Jane can't hold a grudge for long against Roz 😂

St-Simon: Just saw him come back to the hotel and he had that post “best sex ever” glow to him

Carmichael: So what did you do to him tonight? 😏 a good blowjob? You let him fuck your backdoor? You let him motorboat your tits or something?

Marleau: FOR FUCK SAKE

Marleau: I'M GOING TO SEND YOU TO A SUPPORT GROUP FOR SEX ADDICTS

Jane: Are they always like this?

Connors: We haven't found their off switch yet but we'll keep looking

●○●○●

St-Simon: Jane 😏

Carmichael: 😉

Marleau: Oh fuck

Jane: What is it this time?

St-Simon: We were just trying to organize a day out tomorrow with everyone

Carmichael: We were thinking of a barbecue at my place

St-Simon: It would be good for team bonding

Connors: I hate where this is going

Carmichael: And when we asked Roz he just got that “Jane smile” on his face and said he was going to be busy

St-Simon: So does that mean you're going to be in Boston finally?😏

Carmichael: Are you going to christen Roz’s place?

Marleau: Excuse me one minute Jane

Marleau has removed Jane from the groupchat

Marleau: HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE YOU?

Marleau: WHAT IF IT WAS A SURPRISE

Marleau: WHAT IF ROZ'S PLANS ARE NOT ACTUALLY WITH HER

Marleau: IF YOU FUCK THINGS UP BETWEEN THEM, FORGET ABOUT BEING BENCHED OR TRADED ROZ WILL KILL YOU BOTH AND I WILL HELP HIM BURY YOUR BODIES

Connors has added Jane to the groupchat

Connors: Sorry about that

Jane: No worries

Jane: Yeah I'm going to be in Boston for work, my flight is tomorrow

Jane: But Roz hasn't told me anything or invited me over so

St-Simon: Oh

Carmichael: Oh

Marleau: OH?

Marleau: IS THAT ALL YOU TWO DUMB SHITS HAVE TO SAY?

Connors: DON'T KILL THEM JUST YET

Connors: I texted Roz and he confirmed he does have plans with her, he simply hasn't asked Jane yet

Connors: He's going to text you tonight for the details

Jane: Oh

Jane: Here goes the surprise I guess

Jane; But now I know to not plan anything since Rozanov clearly already handled that

Connors: Whatever he has in mind, try to look surprised when he tells you

Connors: Just so he doesn't kill dumb and dumber over here

Marleau: That wouldn't be such a bad thing

Carmichael: HEY 😡

Marleau: With both of them dead, we would have money to spare on the salary cap and we could get Hollander on the team

Jane: You want Shane Hollander to play with you?

Marleau: Look, I'm a Raider but I'm not fucking blind

Marleau: The kid has SKILLS

Marleau: He has carried that dumb team on his shoulders to two back-to-back cups

Marleau: And your man is obsessed with him. He checks his stats all the time and he stalks his Instagram

Marleau: So yeah they're rivals or whatever but the two of them playing on the same team? That shit would be LEGENDARY

Connors: Did you really just snitch on Roz to his girl?😂

Marleau: Yeah cause she cannot snitch back on me to him without admitting she's talking to us

Jane: Well played, Marleau

Jane: But yeah Hollander and Rozanov on the same team

Jane: It would be something

St-Simon: Does that mean we're forgiven for spoiling the surprise

Marleau: Thin fucking ice

●○●○●

Connors: Hey Jane

Marleau: We just wanted to check on you

St-Simon: Yeah, Roz seemed VERY off today so

Carmichael: Did something happen?

●○●○●

St-Simon: It's been days, guys

Connors: It's bad

Connors: Very bad

Carmichael: I feel like Roz is actually trying to kill us all with the drills he's making us do 🫠

St-Simon: I hate it here 🥲

Connors: Can we go back to simpler times?

Connors: We used to be a family

Marleau: Fuck guys

Marleau: Seriously?

Marleau: Go complain somewhere else and don't rub it in her face

Carmichael: Yes Daddy

Connors: Sorry, Jane ☹️

St-Simon: Not our brightest moment

St-Simon: Sorry

●○●○●

Carmichael: GUYS

Carmichael: I FIGURED IT OUT

Marleau: That you have to score goals when you're on the ice?

St-Simon: That it's not normal to have such a big pimple on the tip of your dick?

Connors: That being a sex addict shouldn't be a personality trait?

Carmichael: FUCK YOU

Carmichael: It's about Jane

Carmichael: I think I figured out who she is

Carmichael: SHE'S ROSE LANDRY

Marleau: ???

Carmichael: THINK ABOUT IT

Carmichael: For a while she was super private about her private life. Then, Roz and “Jane” break up and suddenly she's out there very publicly dating Hollander

Carmichael: Right after YOU Marly snitched on his Roz's obsession for him

Carmichael: And now he throws tantrums whenever he sees tweets or interviews or anything related to her

Carmichael: I CRACKED THE CODE

Connors: You didn't crack shit dude

St-Simon: She doesn't even live in Montreal and Jane started off as Roz's mystery Montreal girl you dumb fuck

St-Simon: I just looked it up and she was at a premiere in LA the day Roz had Jane over to his place

Carmichael: Fuck you guys

Carmichael: It made sense

Marleau: And it makes sense for my nephew to eat worms

Marleau: Doesn't mean it's actually a good idea

Carmichael: You guys suck

Carmichael: JANE PLEASE COME BACK WE MISS YOU AND NOW YOUR MAN IS TRYING TO KILL US 😭

●○●○●

St-Simon: It's not the same playing in Montreal now 🥲

Carmichael: Everything used to be so simple back then

Carmichael: Roz would blush every time he looked at his phone

Carmichael: We would humiliate the Metros

Carmichael: He would fuck Jane and would be in a good mood for days

Carmichael: Now the locker room sounds like someone is dead and Roz plays like shit

Carmichael: Take me back

Connors: At least you're not rooming with him

Connors: He's been in the bathroom for like fifteen minutes

Connors: I swear I'm about to hear him sing some sad love songs

Connors: Can we switch back please? Marly?

Marleau: Nope

Marleau: I'll take Fournier's snoring over Roz's singing any day

Connors: Kill me 💀

Connors: HELP HE WALKED OUT SAYING HE NEEDED TO GET LAID AND NOW HE WANTS US TO GO TO A CLUB

Carmichael: THEN LET'S GO OUT BOYS

Carmichael: LET'S FIND HIM A GOOD HOOKUP

Carmichael: Fuck Jane

St-Simon has removed Carmichael from the groupchat

St-Simon: Jane, we know you haven't checked the chat in weeks but if you do, don't pay attention to this asshole

Marleau: Roz is clearly still hung up on you

Marleau: And if he does hook up with someone tonight, then I pity the poor girl cause trust me he's going to be thinking of you the entire time

Connors: ARE YOU GUYS READY BECAUSE NOW HE'S YELLING AT ME FOR STALLING HIM

●○●○●

Marleau: Jane

Marleau: Just so you know

Marleau: He went back to the hotel alone

Marleau: No hook ups

Marleau: He still loves you

Marleau: Maybe you still love him back

Marleau: Now I'm going to try to survive this hangover

●○●○●

Carmichael: Okay alright

Carmichael: I'll admit it

Carmichael: I was wrong

Carmichael: Jane is not Rose Landry

Carmichael: BECAUSE HAVE YOU SEEN ROZ'S PASS TO HOLLANDER DURING ALL-STARS? THAT WAS A THING OF BEAUTY

St-Simon: OUR CAPTAIN IS BACK

Connors: Does that mean?

Connors: 👀

Carmichael: 👀

St-Simon: 👀

Marleau: Jane?

Jane: 😊

Carmichael: FUCK YES

Connors: 🍾🍾🍾

St-Simon: FUCKING FINALLY

Marleau: FINALLY A GOOD NEWS

Jane: We fixed things

Connors: So are you officially together now?

Jane: No

Jane: But I think that was a step in the right direction

St-Simon: HE WON'T TORTURE US ANYMORE

St-Simon: WE'RE FREE

Marleau: Wait

Marleau: When did this happen?

Marleau: Are you in Tampa?

Jane: 😇

Carmichael: HOLY SHIT JANE

St-Simon: FUCK WHY COULDN'T ANY OF US BEEN PICKED FOR IT? WE COULD HAVE SEEN YOU FINALLY

Jane: That will have to wait then

Jane: Gotta go

Jane: He just got out of the shower

Connors: OOOOOH

Carmichael: GO GET IT JANE

St-Simon: REMEMBER PROTECTION

St-Simon: OR NOT

St-Simon: WE COULD USE A NEW MASCOT

Marleau: Jesus fucking christ

●○●○●

Carmichael: Jane

Carmichael: Jaaaaaaaane

Jane: What?

St-Simon: Roz is trying to kill us again 🫠 I thought that since he was fucking you again that could keep him off our backs

Marleau: Do you even think before typing down that shit?

Jane: He's only trying to kill you because you have been playing like shit this week

Jane: Losing against Buffalo? That's low, even from Boston

Connors: OW

Marleau: That hurts

Carmichael: What did we do to you? 😭

St-Simon: I thought you loved us 😭

Jane: I love Ilya being happy more so

Jane: I'll see what I can do

Jane: But you really got to step up your game

Jane: Buffalo? Really?

Connors: WAIT

Connors: HOLD ON

Connors: YOU CALLED HIM ILYA

Jane: I did, so?

Marleau: ?

St-Simon: YOU ALWAYS CALL HIM ROZANOV

Carmichael: DOES THAT MEAN YOU TWO ARE OFFICIAL NOW?

Marleau: Even I can't defend you on this one Jane

Jane: We're not official

Jane: But I'd say we're closer than we were before if that makes sense

Jane: Also I just sent him some nudes so hopefully you will get to breathe today 🫡

St-Simon: OUR HERO

Connors: OUR SAVIOR

Carmichael: You know, I'm kinda feeling stressed so if you have any spare pictures 😏

Marleau has removed Carmichael from the groupchat

Jane: Does he ever stop thinking about sex

Marleau: I wish

●○●○●

Marleau: Hey, Jane

Marleau: We just got out of a meeting with our coach and I figure you should know

Marleau: You probably heard about it already but Roz didn't come to Nashville with us

Marleau: He went back to Russia

Marleau: His father passed away

Marleau: So if you can give our boy some love, I feel like he really could use it right now

Jane: Thank you

Jane: That's what I thought when I heard he wasn't with you guys

Jane: He's not answering his phone so I’m just waiting for him to call me back

Jane: I really wish I could be with him right now

Marleau: I know we fuck around a lot but we're really glad he's got you

●○●○●

Carmichael: LAST GAME AGAINST MONTREAL OF THE SEASON 😈

St-Simon: ARE YOUR METROS READY TO SURRENDER?

Jane: Big words coming from the team who lost ALL FOUR of their games against Buffalo this season

Connors: BOOOO 👎

Marleau: I think I liked it better when you were all shy and you didn't chirp back 😂

Jane: 🤷‍♂️

Jane: 🤷‍♀️*

Jane: Wrong emoji

St-Simon: Didn't the Metros get their asses DESTROYED by the Admirals two days ago?

St-Simon: THE ADMIRALS

Jane: Don't remind me

Jane: I'm starting to agree with Ilya that Hunter should be in a nursing home already 🙄

Jane: Also, don't expect him back at the hotel tonight! I have plans for us

Connors: DAMN

Marleau: Don't worry, if coach looks for him we've got him covered

Carmichael: What have you got in store for him? 😏 Lingerie? Toys?

Marleau: Jesus

Jane: Wouldn't you like to know? But I guess if you really want to know

Jane: [file.jpeg]

Jane: That's the picture from the website

Jane: That set but in black and gold rather than pink

Jane: Custom made for my own measurements

St-Simon: 🤯

Connors: 🤯

Marleau: JESUS

Carmichael: ALL THOSE TIMES I TRIED TO GET YOU TO OPEN UP ABOUT YOU AND ROZ'S SEX LIFE AND NOW YOU'RE SENDING US THIS RIGHT BEFORE THE GAME?

Jane: All is fair in love and war

Jane: Good game

Jane: 😘

●○●○●

Marleau: I'm so sorry Jane

Marleau: I think I fucked up your plans for tonight

Connors: Yeah Roz is not in shape to see anyone right now

St-Simon: He's been like in shock since Hollander took the hit

St-Simon: Never saw him like that

Carmichael: It's a shame because I bet you look GORGEOUS with that lingerie

Carmichael: But for real, Roz has completely phased out

Marleau: I told you I didn't mean to hit him this hard

Marleau: Hollander's a great kid

Marleau: I hope he's going to be fine

Connors: Jane? You there?

Marleau: Fuck

Marleau: Now they're both pissed at me

St-Simon: No one's blaming you

St-Simon: It was a clean hit, perfectly legal

St-Simon: The timing and the angle were just all wrong

Carmichael: Yeah Roz is not angry, he's just in shock

Carmichael: And give some time to Jane

Carmichael: Who knows? She said they had plans so maybe she was going to pop out the big question to him or tell him they have a mini Rozanov on the way so

Carmichael: She's disappointed but it will pass

Marleau: Hope you're right for once

●○●○●

Jane: Concussed

Jane: Car accident on way home

Jane: Doc says no phone

Jane: Bye guys 😘😘😘

Connors: Holy shit

St-Simon: Guess we have our answer now

Carmichael: That explains Roz's mood for sure

Carmichael: Hollander AND Jane both got hurt on the same night

Carmichael: His rival/obsession and his girl

Carmichael: I'd be throwing fits too

Marleau: What hospital you're in? Roz is already out checking on Hollander so he could visit you before heading back to the airport

Connors: I think she's already down, whatever they gave her for the pain must be good

Marleau: Maybe we should send flowers then? Chocolate? Something at least

Marleau: She might not officially be a WAG but she's Roz's girl and we watch after each other

St-Simon: I'll try to get her hospital and room number out of him later

St-Simon: But yeah, flowers sound good

●○●○●

Carmichael: A little bird told me something interesting today

Marleau: If you smoke enough weed to hear birds speaking to you then we got to have a conversation

Carmichael: Fuck you

Connors: Alright speak, what do you know?

Carmichael: I will not air out my sources

Carmichael: But Roz is not in Boston anymore

St-Simon: How the fuck is that news to you? He's back to Russia like he's been every summer since he started playing

Carmichael: BEEEEEEEEP

Carmichael: Wrong answer

Carmichael: He apparently took a plane to Ottawa and we all know there's only one person he would waste his summer in Canada for

Marleau: Jane? That's true? You're with Roz?

Jane: Tell your sources to mind their own fucking business 🙄

Jane: But yeah he's with me so stop sending him memes about Dallas Kent, he can't fuck me if he's laughing

Connors: DAMN

Carmichael: Shit Jane

Carmichael: Who knew you got such a mouth on you?

Jane: He prefers it when it's on him 😘

Marleau: FUCK

Marleau: JANE

Jane: Have a good summer ☀️ I know I will

St-Simon: Some people really have EVERYTHING

Marleau: But you know what? Good for them

Marleau: I'd we should begin looking for tuxes soon though

Marleau: I got this feeling that someday we will have to change her name to “Lady Rozanov”

●○●○●

Carmichael: Roz told us 😭

St-Simon: I can't believe it 😭

Connors: We're going to miss him 😭

Jane: Don't cry guys

Jane: You're still going to be friends

St-Simon: That's easy for you to say 😭

Carmichael: He's going to be two hours away from you 😭

Connors: HE'S MOVING TO ANOTHER WHOLE COUNTRY 😭

Jane: Do I need to remind you of how things were for us there past few years?🤨

Marleau: We know it hasn't been easy

Marleau; So even though we'll all fucking miss him I'm happy that he's putting your relationship first

Carmichael: MARLY 😭

St-Simon: TRAITOR 😭

Connors: HOW COULD YOU SAY THIS? 😭

Jane: Look, I get it if you're mad so I won't hold it against you if you want me to leave the groupchat

Carmichael: ARE YOU CRAZY?

Connors: YOU'RE AN HONORARY WAG AT THIS POINT

St-Simon: You're stuck with us

St-Simon: Who else is going to update us on Roz's life in Canada?

Marleau: Yeah, no you're not going anywhere

Jane: Thanks guy

Jane: I really appreciate it

Jane: Way more than you can imagine

St-Simon: Just don't forget our invites the day he will make an honest woman out of you 🥹

Connors: At this point we should say SHE will make an honest man out of HIM

Marleau: We deserve to be at this wedding after all this time

Jane: I promise

Jane: Someday

Carmichael: We really do need to know what you look like though, to see if you're as much of a smoke show as Roz is saying. All we know is that you have that perfect fat ass

Marleau: Fucking christ

Marleau: Jane?

Jane: You know what, I'll let this one slide today

Jane: I'm too happy to get mad

●○●○●

Marleau: Huh

Marleau: Never thought I'd say this Carmichael but you were right

Carmichael: I WAS?

Connors: HE WAS?

St-Simon: WHEN?

Marleau: He did say Roz had a problem with Rose Landry

Marleau: Turns out he was jealous of her 😂

Connors; Shane, Jane

St-Simon: Montreal

Connors: The work trips to Boston

St-Simon: Both Jane and Hollander getting hurt at the same time

Connors: Makes a whole lot of fucking sense when you think about it

Carmichael: We really were dumb on this one

Jane: You're all taking this surprisingly well

Marleau: Well you're both happy together. The rest doesn't really matter

Marleau: But I'm offering to slam Pike into the boards next time we play against Montreal

Jane: I'm not saying no yet

Carmichael: OMG MARLY 😂

Carmichael: THAT MEANS YOU SNITCHED ROZ'S OBSESSION WITH HOLLANDER TO THE GUY HIMSELF 😂

Carmichael: THAT'S THE BEST FUCKING THING EVER

Jane: Doubt it

Jane: 😇

Marleau: What???

Jane: That it's the best thing ever. What if I have some better news?

Connors: SPEAK

Jane: You still wanna come to a wedding?

St-Simon: 😍

Connors: OMG

Carmichael: 🍾🍾🍾

Marleau: NOW THAT IS THE BEST FUCKING NEWS EVER

Jane: 😁

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Jane: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

St-Simon: ?

Marleau: You good Hollander?

Jane: TRY AGAIN MARLY

Connors: Oh shit

Connors: Roz?

Jane: YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO SHANE THE WHOLE TIME?

St-Simon: Surprise 🎊

Carmichael: I think the better question is why are you using your husband's phone?

Jane: HE TOLD ME TO ANSWER A TEXT FROM HIS MOM AND I SAW THE “JANE PROJECT” SO I GOT CURIOUS

Jane: YOU FLIRTED WITH MY JANE CARMICHAEL?

Connors: Gotta go

Connors has left the groupchat

Marleau has left the groupchat

St-Simon has left the groupchat

Jane: YOU ASKED HER FOR NUDES?

●○●○●

Jane has added St-Simon to the groupchat

Jane has added Marleau to the groupchat

Jane has added Connors to the groupchat

Connors: Hollander?

Jane: Yeah, it's me

Marleau: Well that was something

Marleau: I did tell you MULTIPLE times that being a sex addict was going to come and bite you in the ass someday

Carmichael: Shut up Marly

St-Simon: Is Roz actually mad about the whole thing?

Jane: No, don't worry

Jane: Although he might slam Carmichael into the boards the next time we play against each other

Carmichael: I'll take it I guess

Jane: Besides he can't really be angry about it 😂 Turns out he has been talking with guys from Montreal for nearly as long as us

Marleau: Wait

Marleau: So we knew Roz had his mystery Montreal girl but the Metros knew you had your Boston girl?

Jane: Lily

Jane: And yes

Jane: They started texting “her” while I dated Rose

Jane: I guess it's always been obvious to everyone we were in love

Jane: Even before we admitted it to ourselves

St-Simon: Awwwwwwww

Marleau: ♥️

Connors: Cute

Carmichael: 🥹