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Tommy's heart was beating wild in his chest alongside his growing worry and anxiety as he drove down the familiar roads. Määnin had been gone for hours and Tommy couldn't quite shake the bad feeling that had been looming over him for too long. He had never liked being wrong, but if there ever was a time when he'd take it gladly, it would be now.
Another 10 ruthless minutes later he spotted a fleeting glimpse of something from the corner of his eye and slammed on the brakes so violently that he almost hit his head on the steering wheel.
"Oh.. Fyrbanna, Määnin..!"
The words left Tommy's mouth as he opened the door and ran towards Määnin too fast for even his racing thoughts to keep up with. Tommy's heart sank as he took in the sight in front of him; Määnin as drunk as he could get in the span of a few hours, spouting some nonsense Tommy had no hopes of understanding. Not that he wanted to, even. He had always done his everything for Määnin, had always defended him and backed him up. Hell, he had taken a literal beating for Määnin more often than anyone else ever would have even considered it. Then again, no one else was quite like Tommy, no one else held Määnin on such a pedestal and worshipped the ground he walked on. But now.. all Tommy could feel was disappointment. He really had believed that Määnin had gotten the help he'd needed. But now as Tommy rarely looked down at him instead of up, he couldn't help but wonder if Määnin had ever even wanted that help in the first place.
Tommy's heart kept hammering painfully as he took Määnin's hands and made the first attempt at pulling the other man up. However, Määnin of course didn't make it any easier for him in his uncoordinated state. And as always, things had to get worse before they could get better. Tommy could feel his balance going right before both of them tumbled back down into the ditch about halfway to the road.
"Get off of me, you idiot..!"
Tommy yelled from underneath Määnin who was sprawled out directly on top of Tommy and made no effort to get up. Under any other circumstances Tommy wouldn't have minded being pinned down under Määnin. But now it was the last thing he dreamed off. There was nothing sexy about a cold, wet ditch and a partner who was drunk out of his mind and near unresponsive. After a couple more tries he did finally manage to push Määnin off and to get back on his feet. Määnin stayed near motionless and mumbled something quiet and unclear. They were back in square one as Tommy once more took Määnin's hands, this time really digging his feet in for as much stability as he could get. That time he was successful and managed to keep them both standing upright. Well, mostly upright.
"Fuck, Määnin, you dumbass.."
Tommy groaned as he steered them both towards the Volvo. He wished he could have called it a shared effort, but unfortunately it was more like a solo project. Still, after some trial and error he managed to get Määnin safely on the passenger seat and could finally start the drive back home.
But of course the struggle didn't stop there. After parking the car on the side of the road outside the apartment building, Tommy had to somehow get Määnin indoors. Said man, the target of all of Tommy's love and affection was slumped against him, with one arm slung over Tommy's shoulders. Thankfully there was an elevator because getting up the flights of stairs with Määnin's dead weight would have been an impossible task. Tommy held Määnin close the entire ride up, it wasn't like he had a choice. And after getting the door open and entering the apartment, Tommy dragged Määnin straight into the living room and placed him down on the couch as gracefully as he could. Taking off Määnin's denim jacket and boots was like working with a child who'd just thrown a tantrum and gone all limp and boneless. Somehow Tommy had become that grown man's caretaker. But maybe that was written in fine print on the contract Tommy had signed with his blood all those years ago. For better or worse. After helping Määnin get more comfortable and making sure that he wouldn't fall off the couch the moment Tommy looked away, he placed Määnin's sunglasses on the small coffee table he'd moved closer to the couch. He took the jacket and boots away and then headed into his kitchen. There he filled a glass with water and grabbed a juicebox from the fridge. He placed them next to the shades for easy access for when Määnin would wake up and need something to drink. From there Tommy beelined into the bathroom and grabbed a bucket from the corner, bringing it back with him and placing it next to the couch in case Määnin would feel ill. The last thing Tommy wanted was to start cleaning up puke in the middle of the night. He'd done that all before. After fetching a blanket from his bedroom and placing it carefully over Määnin who seemed to be mostly out of it already, Tommy settled down on the floor and pulled out his phone from his jeans' pocket. He ran a hand through his hair in pent-up frustration and desperation, really feeling the weight of everything on his shoulders. There was only one person he wanted to, and could rely on right now. The one who was always available.
22:27
Found Määnin
Pulled him out of the ditch near that asshole Backlund's fields and brought home
This.. fucking guy
He said he would go buy chips or something but never came back, that was hours ago
22:28
Now he's passed out on the couch and I'm.. I don't know
I'm tired but I.. I can't leave him alone in case he chokes on his vomit or something
He promised
Freppa.. he promised
Tommy glanced up at Määnin's sleeping form and ran a hand over his distraught face. He knew he would do everything for the man now sleeping on his couch, he'd always known. But on times like this it just almost felt like.. too much. Tommy shook his head, ashamed of even thinking about such thoughts. This was Määnin, the very center of his life. Of course he would do everything in his power and more. He would never let Määnin down. Not even when he had just been let down, instead. It hurt, but Tommy would push through it. That's what he always did. Still, he felt like he could cry. He wanted to. But that wasn't the right time for it. Instead, he stood back up to stretch his legs. Tommy dimmed out the lights a little and let himself sit down in the armchair. He would spend his night there so he could keep an eye on Määnin.
A message from Freppa pulled him out of his constantly sinking thoughts a few minutes later. The screen of his phone felt way too bright in the otherwise dim room.
22:34
I'll come by tomorrow to see you both. Keep an eye on him. And, Tommy.. try to take care of yourself, too.
Tommy couldn't help himself anymore as he placed his phone screen down next to him. In the quiet of his apartment, tears finally broke through his walls and proved to Tommy that he was nowhere near as strong as he thought he could be. Still, he was really trying his best.
Tommy got very little sleep that night. It felt like he'd just managed to doze off when the sound of Määnin throwing up pulled him back into reality in the early hours of the morning. Tommy groaned and sighed as he pushed himself up and started dragging himself towards the kitchen. His feet felt heavy, like lead, and his brain was all fogged up. He wished he could just close his eyes and sleep for all eternity. But he couldn't. The kitchen's bright light almost blinded him when he turned it on, leaving him squinting.
He picked up the kettle and filled it with water. While he waited for it to boil, he placed two mugs on the kitchen counter and found a barely touched box of teabags. Ginger tea. Tommy recalled Freppa sometimes saying that it could help calm down a sick stomach.
Tommy could barely keep his eyes open as he waited and was startled when he heard the loud click signifying that the water was ready and hot. Tommy poured it into the mugs and let the teabags soak for a while before returning into the living room. At least Määnin wasn't throwing up anymore.
"Here.."
Tommy said shortly as he handed one of the mugs to Määnin who accepted it quietly. Maybe he, too, was too exhausted and unwell to argue about anything. Tommy sure hoped so because he didn't have any energy left. He sat down on the couch right next to the other man.
Only minutes later he felt Määnin lean against him, their heads softly touching. And no matter how crippling Tommy's exhaustion was, he still turned his head and planted a soft, brief kiss on Määnin's temple. That was still, despite all the trouble, a man Tommy would do everything for. They sat like that, in close proximity even long after that.
A few hours later both of them gave in to the sleep weighing down on them. Määnin settled back on the couch and Tommy headed back for the armchair, barely able to sit down before his head slumped forward and he fell asleep. It wasn't the best sleep he'd ever gotten and his neck and back would no doubt hate him later, but at that moment he was simply happy to sleep and noy have to think about anything for a few hours.
Like Freppa had promised, he showed up the following afternoon with some chicken noodle soup he'd made. Määnin was still as pale as a ghost by then, but at least he was up on his feet. Despite dealing with his obvious hangover, he was still somehow able to function, no matter how sluggishly. But Tommy.. He'd swapped places with Määnin and was now asleep on the couch with his back turned, covered with the blanket. The poorly slept night and all the stress had taken their toll on him.
Freppa put the soup in the fridge for later and headed to the living room, joining Määnin who was sitting on the floor playing Mario Kart 8.
Only a few races in it was clear that Freppa was better at the game than Määnin was. It was so blatantly obvious that the latter noticed right away when Freppa suddenly started playing poorly. After three races which Freppa had lost, Määnin turned to him.
"Don't you DARE go soft on me now, Freppa,"
Määnin growled under his breath.
"I don't care if you feel bad for me or whatever. You think I don't notice it when you suddenly start fucking up and drive straight into a wall? You don't even know how to make it look believable."
Behind them, Tommy stirred because of the noise. Both Freppa and Määnin turned to look at him for a moment to see if he woke up, but when he a few seconds later kept snoring, they turned back and continued playing in silence for a long minute.
"You don't have to treat me as some charity case just because I can't stick to this damn rehab thing,"
Määnin finally muttered quietly, careful not to disturb Tommy's much needed sleep any further. Freppa looked like he wanted to say some things but was silenced in front of Määnin's quiet but pressing stare. And so he only nodded before focusing on the game once more.
The day went on. Tommy woke up from his nap a few hours later and joined his friends in playing a few games of UNO. He'd put his cap back on to hide his messy hair. Everything had started out calmly enough, at least. They'd ordered a few pizzas and the amount of juice boxes on the floor had more or less been doubled over time.
"That's some fyrbannat bullshit!"
Tommy suddenly yelled as he jumped up to stand on the couch. Freppa, despite having being startled by the sudden shift in Tommy's demeanor, silently worried that he might lose his footing and fall.
"Next you're probably going to say that I need to draw 10 more cards! I've never heard of a more stupid game with more ridiculous rules than this! Actually, I'm pretty sure that this isn't how UNO is supposed to be played! Why am I holding onto half a deck but both of you've only got five cards each?! Did you steal these rules from KAJ or what?!"
Tommy's voice rose in volume the longer his rant vent on. He pointed an accusing finger at the cards on the table and at Freppa who was suddenly reminded why they usually didn't play any card games. Tommy was, more often than not, a sore loser. And he also was one with a short, fiery temper. Not that Freppa would ever dare to say any of his current thoughts out loud because he wanted to maintain the.. relatively relaxed mood. Instead, he took a calming breath and a sip of his Trip juice.
"Well, Toms.."
Määnin drawled calmly from next to him as he glanced up at his friend before leaning back without a care in the world.
"Maybe you're just bad at this."
Freppa flinched and turned to look at Määnin while holding onto his own cards a little tighter.
"Uh, Määnin.. I don't think you should be saying that.."
Freppa said cautiously, almost like he was expecting another outburst from Tommy. But Määnin didn't seem to share that same worry. Instead, he smirked and then burst out laughing after taking another look at Tommy and the nearly furious look on his face. Almost like on cue, Tommy also glanced back at Määnin. Freppa waited with bated breath to see what would happen next. Tommy and Määnin were on the same page most of the time, and whenever they argued, it rarely escalated into anything serious.
"Tommy,"
Määnin continued after the laughter had subsided. Tommy was still breathing like an angered bull.
"Calm down, it's just a game. I'm not going to be losing any sleep over this, and neither should you. Hell, I probably won't remember anything about this by tomorrow."
He reached out and placed his palm on Tommy's upper thigh. And the effect was almost instantaneous. The anger still bubbling right below the surface seemed to just melt away, first being replaced with confusion and then just.. obvious adoration. Määnin always found it fascinating to see how the frown was smoothed out and Tommy's tense body language eased up. His cheeks remained a telling, stubborn pink, but for a different reason. Tommy's eyes traveled up and down Määnin's seated body until they finally settled down and, as was to be expected, came to a rest on his face.
"Take a breath and sit back down,"
Määnin added with another, almost smug smirk as Tommy finally did exactly what Määnin told him to.
"I'm pretty sure there's still some pizza left if you want it. You're not you when you're hungry,"
Määnin chuckled quietly. And sure enough, mere seconds after sitting down, Tommy decided that he was done playing and was only going to watch the others go at it. He bent down to pick a pizza slice from a box on the floor and ate it cold. He washed it down with watermelon Trip. It tasted as artificial as it could, but secretly Tommy had grown to like it.
The day went on, and late evening, after Freppa had gone home, Tommy and Määnin were both lying down on the couch. Tommy was on his back, his head resting comfortably on the pillow. And on top of him was Määnin, lying on his side, his head on Tommy's chest. Tommy had placed his arms around man after pulling the blanket over both of their lower bodies. Both of them had their eyes closed and hadn't talked in minutes. They'd only been breathing in near unison. Tommy was softly kissing the top of Määnin's head, breathing in the familiar scent.
"..Guess I'll just start over then,"
Määnin's voice finally said, rough and heavy. Tommy had been almost certain that he'd fallen asleep. He knew exactly what Määnin meant, even if it wasn't said outright. He breathed out and nodded.
"And I'll help. You know I will."
It was a promise, as obvious as Tommy himself was most of the time. That time it was Määnin who nodded against Tommy's chest.
"I know. You're always good for it."