Chapter Text
“Mom?” Joyce turns around to look at her youngest son. Will holds fear in his eyes as he looks at his mother. Fear floods his gaze as he feels overwhelmed. This could go poorly. He has to keep his cool. The windy breeze of the outside brushes against his skin harshly. A small shiver runs down his spine as he tries to rub some warmth into his arms. He hates the cold. His mother is distracted by the movement of everything into the truck. It’s been a long day already, and they haven’t even started their fight. They’ve been fighting for so long, Will has almost forgotten what it feels like to be normal. Then again, he has never felt normal. Not once.
Once he has his mother’s attention, he speaks again.
“Um…” A brief pause. He looks down at the floor as he tries to figure out how to say what he needs to. Looking back at her, she shows him a face of worry.
It’s bizarre being aware of just how different he is from his friends. From his family. It’s a fear that’s been eating away at him since he came to the terrifying realization. He had always known how people saw him, what they said about him. Especially when he went missing, their harsh words were directed at a 12-year-old boy just trying to survive in a cruel world. When he came back, he knew it wouldn’t be the same. But he didn’t expect people to just call him disgusting to his face. The words ‘Zombie Boy’ rang through his head. He had been called many names as a kid. That was only one of them. Just because he was seen as a sensitive kid, he stood out. His father thought he wasn’t manly enough, therefore he was a queer. His mother saw him as fragile, so he was babied. His best friend thought he wasn’t into girls enough, so he was isolated. No matter how true any of the statements were, they left lasting damage. The impact of mere words can truly disassociate you from reality.
“Earlier today, when you asked me what happened in Vecna’s mind, I-I didn’t tell you everything.” His words are hesitant as they leave his mouth. The worry in Joyce’s eyes only grows. He was painfully aware of how others viewed him, how they had already viewed him. Telling everyone the truth would just mean that they were right about what they said. But did that mean everything they said was now true? Will wasn’t sure. He felt scared, ashamed.
Will doesn’t want the truth to come out, but he knows it needs to. It’s something he’s been hiding for years. He remembers the day he realized something set him apart from his friends. He also remembers the day he realized he had to hide it. He couldn’t let his affection toward Mike be as obvious as it was when they were kids. He couldn’t let the ridiculing glares be bestowed on him for something that was unfortunately true. After all, Will doesn’t like girls. And he knows this. He was only 12 or 13 when he put the puzzle pieces in place. The painstakingly obvious desire he had for his best friend would be his downfall. Luckily for him, his best friend was obnoxiously oblivious. However, he couldn’t let this secret rest on his tongue any longer. It was buried in the back of his throat with a powerful ache, begging to be released.
Glancing around, Will sees Jonathan with El and signals them to follow. They move off toward another room, further inside The Squawk.
The words echo in his head as he has thought up hundreds of ways to say this. But no matter how much time he has spent thinking about it, this feels different. It’s harder to picture in real life when real life is sitting in front of you. Reality has a funny way of playing tricks on the mind. Will knows deep down that his mother and siblings don’t feel the same way about this topic as his father does. But that doesn’t stop the fear from scraping holes in his chest, shoveling deep into his heart. His breath catches as the two stare at him, waiting for his next words.
Will sits down in a chair as his eyes meet the ground once again. His arms rest against his knees as his mother practically stares him down while sitting across from him. Using the privacy the four now have, Will realizes he has to explain. No matter how much he doesn’t want to, no matter how scared he is, he knows it has to happen.
“When Vecna attacks, he weakens you by turning your own mind against you, by bringing out everything inside you that hurts.” A mutual eye contact is established between the mother and son. The thing is, there’s so much inside of Will that hurts. He holds so much pain, so much aching, that it’s hard to keep his head on right. Will wears his heart on his sleeve and his weakness on his face. His secret could very well be his downfall. He knows that. Which is why this confrontation of his feelings has to happen. They need to know. They need to know before Vecna forces it out into the open.
“So, I fought back by focusing on happy memories, memories from when I was a kid, and when I wasn’t scared, and when I felt most happy.” A bittersweet feeling settles into his chest. Every word feels like another dagger into his soul, but a blade lifted out of his heart. Vecna can try to take away the people from his life, but he can’t take away what they have with each other, the memories, the bonds, the shared feelings. He can’t take away the love Will holds for those he cherishes in his life. He won’t let Vecna break him down to nothing like when he was a kid. It won’t happen again.
Will can sense what the two are thinking about this whole situation. Joyce isn’t sure where Will is going with this, but she still gives him her undivided attention. Jonathan has a strong feeling about where this is going and feels worried for his younger brother. To Will, this explanation feels like it’s dragging on, like it’s delaying the inevitable. He just wants to be hidden a little longer. Is that so wrong?
“That’s how I took control in the MAC-Z…and how I killed those Demos.” Will’s now avoidance of her gaze makes her knuckles curl into a fist. He’s fighting to say it to her. Will pushes back the urge to cry as more words pour out of his mouth. It’s like he can’t stop them. He just wants to slam his hand over his mouth and stop the faucet of emotions and feelings dripping from his nervous lips.
Nerves rush through his body as he recalls the last time Vecna took over him. The fear in his body is like a natural state at this point. He dreams of the day nobody has this effect on him anymore. He just wants to be free. He can’t explain what Vecna does to him, to his mind. To Will, nobody would understand. They wouldn’t understand his pain, his memories. The now tainted memories, now flooded with Vecna’s influence and senses, like when he forces Will to recall everything.
“And I thought the same would work on Vecna, too. But he found a way past.” Will’s blood runs cold as he can almost feel the blood dripping from his eyes again and the agonizing pain unleashed on his body. He knows it isn’t real. He knows he’s not with Vecna anymore. But the fear, the pain, the memories, all of the feelings are still there.
“And he showed me things, Mom.” The look of fear in Will’s eyes as they met forced a shiver to run down her spine. A small shake of his head in disbelief as he tried to push away the tears that so desperately wanted to fall from his eyes. He paused briefly as he recalled everything that happened with Vecna.
“He showed me the most awful things.” Jonathan felt tears in his eyes as he covered his mouth with his hand. Will couldn’t handle seeing their faces. He lowered his head, feeling like a coward. He hates this. He hates himself.
Will’s mind flashes back to that moment, that last moment with Vecna.
It was like he was reliving it.
“William. You were the first, and we created such beautiful things together.” Will’s eyes widen as Vecna’s hand meets his face. The cold, unpleasant touch brings back terrifying memories that he had tried so hard to forget. He tried his best to move away, to where Vecna’s slimy and filthy hand couldn’t touch him. But it was no use. His hand was there on his cheek, just like it had been all those years ago. Small gasps leave Will’s mouth as he struggles and fights against it with all his strength. But it's no use. He feels like the same scared kid he was all those years ago in Vecna’s clutches. There’s nothing he can do or say to make this stop. And he can’t wait for someone to come and save him. They aren’t looking. Why would they be?
“I am going to destroy everything you love.” The words leave his mouth slowly as Will stares in blurry vision from his tears. He knows it isn’t true that it shouldn’t be true. But what if it is? Nothing brings as much fear to his body as the feeling of Vecna’s touch on his trembling body or his presence in his broken mind. The mind that Vecna had broken. It remains in pieces.
“Your friends, your family, they will know everything that is different, that is wrong about you.” Will didn’t have words for the pain he was feeling. He can’t breathe. He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t feel worthy of every shaky breath that leaves his lips.
‘This isn’t real’, he told himself. But it was, in a way. He had thought about this moment for years; it may be different every time, but the reaction and aftermath were not. It hurt him deeply to know his abuser knows, knows everything, all the pain that clings to his shattered mind.
“You can’t stop it, as long as you have these secrets, I control you. Your mind is weak, and it was so easy to break you.” Will’s breath hitched as he remembered what Vecna told him just before he killed those Demogorgons. He knew it was true. He had broken so easily under Vecna’s influence. He felt weak, like he wasn’t deserving of protection or saving. It hurt him deeply to think about it. But he couldn’t help it. These thoughts had a way of intruding into every part of his being.
“You can’t fight me. You’ve been using my strength, my power. But make no mistake, boy. That power belongs to me, and me alone.” His voice is slow and agonizing to listen to.
“Do you really think they won’t leave you behind?” Vecna forces a montage of memories to course through Will’s brain. Blood drips down from Will’s eyes as he screams in agony. He watches his memories play out without any way of stopping them. He forcibly remembers that scene in the van with Mike, the time he fought with Mike out in the rain, and the words that were yelled at him.
‘It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!’
But then it went dark.
A few moments later, he could see his father standing over him as he cowered in the trunk of the car. This was the place his father stashed him whenever Joyce wasn’t around to object. He could hear the slurs and harsh words leave his father’s mouth with such malice that all he could do was cry in response.
And then just like that, he was back. Back with Vecna. Back in a place worse than hell. He knew exactly the connection Vecna was trying to make, but he would never let himself believe. “You see the similarities, don’t you, William?” Will’s breath hitched. His heart hurt at the comparison. He knew it was not true. But to be able to put the two together like that, it burned deep inside of him. He wanted to hurt Vecna for putting that into his mind.
Mike is his everything; nobody can take that away.
Not even Mike.
“What makes you think that he could ever…stay with someone like you?” It was at that moment that Will began to break down. His screams made blood run through his veins in a throbbing rush. Every part of his body felt like it was on fire. The blood stung as it rested against his pale skin. He wanted out. He wanted out like never before.
“They are all going to know, to see how broken you are. And when you are cast out, it is then that I will kill them. And together you and my vessels are going to reshape the world, permanently.” Will knew he couldn’t let that happen. He would fight against that until his last breath. But what could he truly do? Vecna had his mind, his memories, everything.
“You are mine and mine alone to control, to possess. My spy.” Will screamed out in objection, feeling the blood drip from his eyes along with the salty tears, only making his eyes sting more. The truth stung more than the pain. He felt a loss of control in a grasp he had never felt before.
“Will!” He snapped back to reality to see his mother and brother sitting before him. He’s not with Vecna. He’s safe. Everything is fine…for now.
“No, listen. Whatever he showed you, it’s not real. He plays tricks. He lies.” Will wants to believe them. But he knows it’s not true. He shakes his head at his mother’s words. “Will, please.” Jonathan and El can’t think of anything to say to calm him down.
“No, he doesn’t.” He still wasn’t quite sure he wanted to say the words, the fear itself, out loud. It would only make it seem that much more real. And he couldn’t let that happen. He didn’t want it to happen this way. He didn’t want it to happen. Hiding this part of himself felt like second nature at this point. To reveal it would be to admit to lying, to deceit, in a way like no other. This hidden secret, hidden feelings, it feels like a whole different side of himself with its own emotions and thoughts.
Suddenly, a loud crank echoed through the room. Will flinched as he turned around to see Robin standing at the door, walking into the room. She paused as she realized something must be happening.
“Oh. Uh…sorry.” Will gave her a pleading expression. Robin looked between Will’s tear-filled eyes and the family’s worried filled faces and took it as a sign to sit down. She knew what was happening after all.
“Wait, do you want Robin here for this?” Joyce asked. Joyce wasn’t sure where this was going, and she didn’t want her son to be more freaked out than he already was. He nodded, unable to fathom the words. Robin was just the grounding he needed right now. His anchor to the real world, to this moment. She understood him like nobody else could. But there were still things she couldn’t comprehend; nobody could. He knew there were parts of himself that he would have to carry alone for the rest of his life.
But right now, he was sharing a part of his burden.
With a deep breath, he continued.
“What Vecna showed me…” A shaky breath escaped Will’s mouth as tears continued to well up in his eyes. “...it didn’t come from him.” His voice was weak and raspy from all the suppressed emotions he was trying to ignore. “It came from me.” Will tried to take a deep breath, but it only made his breathing more anxious. He bit his lip so hard it bled. The blood flowed with the all too familiar metallic taste in his mouth as he swallowed hard.
“He sees everything, Mom. He sees my thoughts. He sees my memories.” He emphasized the word memories to his mother. “And he sees my secrets.” Joyce knew that this was a lot for her son to handle, so she stayed quiet for the time being. He wanted them to remain oblivious, forever. He wanted to hide. To stay hidden. It was easier on some level. If he could deny the idea itself, maybe he could change. Maybe he could fix himself. Deep down, he knew it wasn’t true.
But would Vecna really be the reason that he has to come out to everyone he loves?
“But Max, she told me he’s also afraid, which proves I can beat him.” A tear finally rolled down his face. His mother quickly but gently wiped it away with her sleeve. “But for me to do that, you need to know…” He exhaled shakily as he stared at his mother. “I think you need to know the truth.” The truth. The words felt ignorant as they left his mouth. What did he even know about the truth after all? It all felt like too much.
“Will, look at me.” Robin’s eyes met Will’s. “Are you really going to let that bastard dictate how this happens?” She had tears in her eyes that matched her friend’s. Sure, coming out wasn’t her first choice when it happened with Steve, but she made the choice. He smiled at her concern. For a moment, he wanted to take it all back. He wanted to just let them know him for who he is. Not who everyone thinks he is. Telling them this would just fulfill those ideas. The words that had been used to insult him since he was just a child. A clueless child who everyone already told how his future would look. One full of pain. But denial wouldn’t help. He can’t run from it, no matter how much he wants to.
“I need to tell them, they deserve to know.” Joyce looked at her son in confusion.
Will wants this to go smoothly, but he doubts that it will. He tries his best to articulate his feelings and memories while stuttering his way through his sentences. Every syllable feels like a thorn rolling against his tongue. The blood rushes into his mouth as he stares at the two in front of him. He wants this moment to end, but never ends at the same time. Will has never felt brave, but he wishes he were. He believes this would be easier if he were brave. It almost feels silly to be this worked up over this. It’s only a few simple words. Or they should be simple. But they aren’t. Not to him.
“Will, talk to me. What the hell is going on?” Both of the teens took a deep breath. Robin gives him a small nod. Will felt like he was seconds from breaking down. He hates this, this feeling. Feeling like he’s too small, too insignificant to be acknowledged.
“Mom, I need you to listen to me.” Joyce nods in response. The tears flow freely down his face. This scene feels surreal, like it can’t be happening, not to him. Like he can’t ever be seen in the way he truly desires.
After all, he just wants to be loved.
“I know I’m different. Everyone tries to brush around that, but I know it. Everyone knows that I’m different.” Will hesitates to continue. The pain won’t stop. The final thoughts of cherishing his childhood echo through his brain. He can’t turn off the negative thoughts. But maybe he can move on with his friends and family at his side.
“I’m tired of hiding who…who I am. Who…I love.” Will could tell from the look in his mother’s eyes that she finally knew where this was going. “I don’t like girls. I mean, I do—just not like my friends do. I’m not like Mike or Lucas or Dustin. I’m different from Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan.” Unintentionally, Will’s eyes looked at Robin. They were the same in more ways than one. Their bond could never be broken. He knew, regardless of how this goes, he would still have at least one person to come back to.
“What do you mean?” El asked, innocently.
“I like boys.” His sister smiled at him.
“I like boys too.” This brought a smile to Will’s face as well. The tears welling up in his eyes stung a little less at his sister’s response. The two quickly pulled each other into a long and needed hug. Pulling apart, their smiles never faded as they looked at one another.
Jonathan was smiling at him, proud that he finally said it. Joyce nodded at him with a tearful smile. Joyce immediately reached toward her son and pulled him into a hug. “I love you, Will. Nothing will ever change that. I will never stop loving you, especially not for something like this. You’re my baby boy.” The tears were streaming down all four of their faces. “Thank you for telling me. I know it must've been hard for you.” Will nodded against her embrace.
“You’re my brother, and I love you. Never forget how much you mean to me, you’re my best friend, remember?” The boys laughed at the fond memory while holding back tears. This moment meant everything to him. He had dreamed about it for years, and it’s finally happened. His mother and brother had accepted him for who he truly is.
After a brief pause, Joyce decided to address the elephant in the room. “So, Robin knew?” Will looked nervous. There are very few reasons that Will could think of that would explain why Robin knew and nobody else did. After all, Jonathan had suspected in California and tried to get Will to tell him, but he never did. There was a clear reason why Robin was the one he trusted, and why the two had formed such an unusual friendship so quickly.
“She found out accidentally.” He quickly said. Joyce looked at Robin with knowing eyes. Robin looked scared. Even though the Byers obviously accepted Will, she couldn’t fathom them knowing about her. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She darted her eyes to Will, who held a similar gaze. The two were worried. He didn’t mean for this to happen. She knew by his face that he was now feeling guilty. But at the end of the day, this wasn’t his fault, she knew that. But she also knew she couldn’t bring herself to deny it.
Joyce pulled away from hugging her son to face Robin. She had tears streaming down her face. “It’s okay, sweetie.” Robin’s and Will’s eyes both widened at the mother’s words. Did she know? The question that echoed in both their minds. If she did, how?
“Thank you for helping my boy.” Joyce pulled Robin in for an unexpected hug. While Joyce didn’t say it, Robin knew what she meant. She had never told an adult, not even her parents. And to know she was supported, it meant a lot. It was something she didn’t know how much she needed. Robin cried into Joyce’s shoulder as Will watched the two with a smile. He didn’t expect this to be how it happened. But it did. And he was glad he finally got the chance to say it to his mom and brother. If only he could tell Mike. The fear crept into his mind that Vecna would be the reason everyone found out. But he didn’t want to be forced to out himself to everyone he cared about and loved. This was enough for now. He would cross that bridge when he got there.
“I’ll give you two some time,” Joyce said with a light smile before she and Will’s siblings exited the room. They didn’t go too far, though. Robin’s and Will’s minds were both racing, feelings completely on overdrive. The two almost wanted to laugh.
“I’m so proud of you.” The tears fell down fast from both of their faces. Robin rested her hand on Will’s shoulder. He felt comforted. She had that effect on him. Their friendship was one of Will’s saving graces at this point. He was so grateful for that moment in the hospital.
“The only reason I was able to do it is because of you.” A rough smile crossed his face as she let out a soft chuckle. She grinned and gave his shoulder a firm squeeze. The two were both a sobbing mess by now. Will was still in disbelief over the whole situation. Knowing he was finally able to tell someone besides Robin left a feeling in his chest that he didn’t quite understand yet. But he knew he would one day.
“Are you…Are you going to tell Mike?” Her voice was hushed to make sure nobody heard. Panic crossed Will’s eyes. Could she know? He wondered. Even though it was rather clear that she did, otherwise, she wouldn’t have asked.
“Why him?” His voice was shaky and hesitant as his throat burned. The words dripped out of his mouth like poison and were louder than intended. He hated himself for feeling like this. Mike is his best friend; he should be able to tell him everything. But yet, he couldn’t bring himself to tell him about this? The two of them never hid secrets from each other growing up. But that changed once they reached their teenage years in high school.
“Will, I know.” He took in a sharp inhale. Robin kept resting her hand on his shoulder as she tried to comfort him. This was a lot for anybody to go through. The two of them held silence for a few minutes. Neither really knew what to say.
“You remind me of a younger me.” A soft whisper left her lips, so quiet that he almost didn’t hear her. The two both chuckled at her statement. It helped to lighten the tone of the situation. However, the fear couldn’t be muffled in Will’s head. The ache invaded his senses, overriding any logical thought process he could muster.
“Do you think that he knows too?” Will’s heartfelt sobs felt like daggers to her ears. She understood the pain he was going through. Almost. With Tammy, it was a hallway crush. With Mike, it was childhood love. This isn’t something someone can just move past, she knew that.
“I don’t think so.” Robin’s attempts to reassure him didn’t do much. “He seemed kind of oblivious to your flirting.” Trying to lighten the mood, she let out a small laugh. What she held back was that it looked like Mike was flirting, too. She didn’t want to give him false hope in case she was wrong, especially if he isn’t planning on telling Mike or anyone else.
“I can’t tell him, I know he’s not like me.” Robin wanted to convince him otherwise, but she let it be.
“He’s just my Tammy.” Will chuckled as he smiled at Robin. The words stung as they coursed through her hearing. Her decision echoed in her head. She had to intervene.
Mike isn’t his Tammy.
But she didn’t know if Mike could be his Vickie.
“I think you should tell him.” The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them. But it was the truth. Robin was trying to be his voice of reason while his fear clouded his mind. She was trying to break it apart and give him something to think through logically, no matter how difficult it may be.
“I can’t just tell him. What if he hates me for it? Or worse, doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.” Robin pulled him into a tight hug and let Will cry on her shoulder. A painful realization came over her. She should’ve noticed earlier. She isn’t sure how she didn’t.
“You love him.” Her words were soft and delicate. Will squeezed her shirt and clung to her as if he were dying. Robin was right. Will loved Mike so much it hurt. He felt like he couldn't live without him. He didn’t want to. The two of them had so much history together; losing him would be like losing a part of himself.
“I can’t lose him. I won’t lose him.” The amount of pushing and pulling their friendship has been through, Will thought it was a miracle Mike was still with him. He couldn’t risk that. Not again. After all, no matter how much Mike might’ve pushed him away, he always came back like a lost puppy dog. The reverse was true as well. The two were practically glued together. Their skin burned whenever they were pulled apart, feeling where the other used to be at their side. The glue could stretch, but it could never be broken. At least, Will hoped so.
“I need him. Losing him would just hurt too much. I-I was so lost without him for all those months we spent apart.” His breath hitches as the words dangle on his tongue. He can’t say what he needs to out loud. If he came face-to-face with the truth of his feelings, it would just make it that much more real. And Will hates to face reality.
“I just…I can’t go through that again.” It hurt Robin to see her friend in so much pain.
“Will, listen to me.” The two pulled away from the hug to look each other in the eyes. She knew she had to tell him the truth. Robin wouldn’t let Will break his own heart when there is still a chance for them. She has to be the support system for him that she never had, the one she desperately needed back then. “I know you think that he is your Tammy, but he’s not.” Will’s eyes held confusion as he looked at her through blurry vision.
“You need to tell him how you feel. You don’t know what he’s going to say. And you’ll never know unless you tell him. I don’t want you to live with regret over something like this.” All Robin had to do now was hope to god that Mike wouldn’t break the poor kid’s heart. It was like deja vu.
“I get it. You’re in love with him. You would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all.” The feeling was almost all too familiar. It reminded her a bit of when she first saw Vickie with that guy. The doubt can be overwhelming. “But would you really rather live in denial, thinking of what could’ve been for the rest of your god damn life, or just tell him?” She was almost pleading with him at this point. Robin didn’t want Will to make any of the mistakes that she did. Will’s mind was racing at this point. He had come so close to telling Mike his secret all those times when they were in California.
“What if he’s disgusted by me?” The words felt almost foreign. Like the image was too much to even imagine, let alone be real. It hurt. Mike could hurt him in a way that nothing else could even try to.
“You don’t have to tell him your feelings for him right away. Start small. And don’t push yourself if you aren’t ready.” Will nodded but was still hesitant. He thought of all those things Vecna showed him. It was clouding his vision and his thoughts. He couldn’t think clearly. Then again, he never could when it came to Mike.
“Besides, if he says anything to you, Steve will beat his ass.” The two both laughed through their now drying tears. Robin smiled, glad she could break up some of the tension from the younger boy. This pain was too much to carry, especially for someone this young. She frowned, knowing it was all because of love. Love should never bring tears to someone like this. Not to someone like Will. Someone so trusting and so kind. Robin admired Will for that. He let those who hurt him back into his life, no matter what. He has too much faith in the world. For him to be this worried means this means more to him than anything else ever could.
“I still can’t believe you told Steve of all people.” Robin smiled fondly at the recollection of her best friend accepting her for who she was. Even better, Will was starting to form a smile. This was the gateway she needed.
“Will, listen to me. You love him. Don’t act like you don’t deserve to love someone, because you do. Whether or not you think he’s like you, I think you should tell him.” Robin said with a little more confidence.
“And hey, if I can tell Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington…” A small smirk graced her lips. “Then you can tell Mike Wheeler.” Her voice was soft, almost like a whisper. She gave him a small punch to the shoulder. Lighthearted laughter flooded the room as the two smiled at each other. They were everything the other didn’t know they needed.
Will sniffled as he wiped his tears from his face. “You’re right. I need to find him.” Robin would kill Wheeler if he hurt her kid. Will was more than this world deserved in her eyes. The world had already broken him so much. He was worthy of so much more than he thought. Robin needed him to see that.
“Don’t go far, please.” Robin stifled a laugh and nodded at him. The two were startled by approaching footsteps. They both jumped up and looked at each other with the same thought.
Shit.
“Hey, we just heard from Hop.” Will recognised the voice immediately. Mike. “He’s 15 minutes out. So we should probably leave in five.” He couldn’t help the overwhelming fear in his body that Mike heard any of what he said. When he turned around to look at his best friend, he tried searching his eyes for an answer.
“Is everything okay?” Mike was trying to read the room, it seemed. But he couldn’t. He was still as oblivious as ever. At least, that’s what Robin and Will thought. Robin gave Will a little nudge. He turned around briefly to look at Mike.
“Yeah, we’ll be out in a minute,” Robin said to Mike with a half-smile. Her hand was on his shoulder in a way that seemed wrong to Mike. He was eyeing her with a curious look. Neither of them recognized it as what it was, jealousy. He turned and went for the door with a quiet huff that neither of the other two heard.
“Wait.” Will caught the eyes of everyone in the room, but he was looking at Robin. A small nod was gestured to him as she held a tearful face and dazed smile. “I need to talk to you.” Mike looked at him, confused. He looked between the two and their tearful faces.
Slowly, Will made his approach to the doorway where Mike was standing nervously. Looking back once more at Robin for reassurance, she held her face by resting her chin on her fists. She smiled and mouthed, ‘go’. Turning back to Mike, he worked up the nerve to grab his arm and pull him out of the room. He wasn’t sure where this confidence was coming from. Maybe it was the adrenaline finally catching up to him after almost dying almost every day this week. Or maybe it was something else.
“Will? What’s wrong?” The two were now alone in the basement. Mike’s voice was soft and caring, just like it always was when he spoke to Will. It reminded him of their younger years together. He couldn’t help the smile that came to his face as he recalled all those times at Mike’s house with fondness. The plans of their upcoming battle with Vecna were laid out on the table beside them as they stared at each other. When Will realized he was still gripping Mike’s arm, he clenched his teeth. When he finally pulled away his touch, Mike stared at the now vacant place on his arm. Their eyes met as silence awkwardly filled the room.
“Will, you’re scaring me. Are you okay?” Mike’s eyes gazed at his lips before going back to his tear-filled eyes. “Are you okay?” He repeated his words. Will bit his lip as he tried to work up the courage to tell Mike the truth. At least some of it.
“Is this about what you and Robin were talking about?” Mike didn’t like the idea of the two of them spending so much time together. Will nodded, afraid that his words would be too incoherent to understand.
“You can talk to me, you know.” The thought of Will trusting Robin more than him hurt. It deeply hurt. The two had always been inseparable. Why would this be any different? He couldn’t believe that he went to her before him.
“It’s just hard to say.” Mike’s eyebrows shifted as he admired Will’s face. He couldn’t look away. Hell, he could barely focus. This was nothing new. Mike had a habit of thinking of Will’s ‘pretty face’ when he should be worried about other things. Mike had always thought Will was pretty, but he never understood the thought process behind it.
“Mike.” His voice was breathy as he stared at him. Mike was torn out of his thoughts and redirected his gaze to meet his eyes. He couldn’t help the way his heart started to beat faster from the sound of Will’s voice. It sounded exactly like when it did during their post-Demo defeat hug in the MAC-Z. He didn’t understand why he was still feeling like this. He didn’t want to think about it. Mike wanted to say that Will was his best friend to reassure him, but for some reason, he held back his words. They burned in the back of his throat.
“I’ve spent so much time thinking of how I wanted this to happen, how I wanted to tell you, but now we’re here.” Mike was getting more worried by the second. Will was also getting more worried the longer this roundabout game went on. He wondered if Mike could read the words sitting on his lips just like he always could. If Mike could, he wasn’t letting Will know, not this time.
“You remember when we were driving through California in the van?” He wasn’t sure where he wanted to start this conversation. But here goes nothing. This was going to be even harder than earlier. He almost thought about abandoning the whole thing. If he hasn’t figured it out yet, he probably won’t if Will just leaves right now. But before Will can turn and run, there’s a now obvious hand gripping his arm. How long had Mike been holding onto him?
“When you gave me El’s painting?” Mike questioned. The words felt like daggers in his chest. He knew it was his fault that Mike believed El was the one who felt that way toward Mike. Will froze briefly.
“Y-Yeah.” A gulp went down his throat. “The truth is, El isn’t the only one who is…different.” Will avoided Mike’s eyes as he continued. Mike's eyes held confusion, his grip tightening around Will. Neither noticed. Will worked through the words in his head, trying to preemptively figure out what to say, but it was of no use. The words left his mouth before he could stop them.
“I’ve been trying to hide this for the longest time, but it hasn’t worked.” He took a sharp inhale. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. How he wished he could just be normal. Normal like his friends. Normal like his brother. Normal like Mike.
“But I am different, there’s no use saying I’m not. I can’t lie to you, Mike. Not anymore.” He felt like a broken record at this point. A brief silence fell over the two. Will was struggling, Mike knew that.
“Will, you can tell me anything.” Mike tried to reassure Will. Will glanced down at the comforting hand on his arm. But it feels different this time. Will felt Mike’s hand on his skin and finally met his eyes. He couldn’t tell if he was still oblivious of where this conversation was going.
‘Please don’t feel like you have to lie to me.’ That's what Mike was really thinking.
“You make me feel like I’m not a mistake for being d-different.” Mike stared at Will in awe of his words. He let Will keep talking as he never let his eyes look away. Each word made Will doubt the reaction he envisioned from Mike.
“Y-You make me feel…” Loved. “...seen.” Mike nodded as he kept his hand on Will. The sensation felt like it was burning his skin. Surely, Mike wouldn’t do this if he knew the truth. He pushed through his fear.
“Will, I’m right here. I’m right here.” Mike held back the urge to move his arm forward and pull him into a tight hug. Will held back the urge to run away from Mike completely. To escape this conversation, this moment, this confession.
“I-I…I like boys.” He tried to ignore his tears. “Not girls.” Will couldn't even look Mike in the eyes as he told him. He was expecting Mike’s hand to move, for him to back away, to call him a freak, anything.
‘It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.’
But he just stood there. He didn’t budge. Will watched the floor as he realized Mike’s feet weren’t moving. Every part of his body, except the arm Mike was holding tightly, felt cold. It was almost too much. He did his best not to start crying again.
“Look at me.” He didn’t. “Look at me.” It was then that he felt Mike’s other hand on his cheek, forcing his head up until their eyes met. Will couldn’t believe it. “You’re not going to lose me. Ever.” His eyes stared in astonishment. “Ever.”
“H-How did…I-I didn’t say that I was...” Terrified. He didn’t say that he was terrified to lose Mike. Mike smiled a little.
“You didn’t have to.” Will’s mouth opened, but no words left his lips. Will felt hesitant to hug Mike after telling him. Mike, however, was not hesitant. In a split second, Mike’s arms were around Will, and his breath hitched in shock. He couldn’t help the tears of joy that left his green eyes. “I’m sorry if I ever made it seem like you couldn’t tell me.” Will sniffled as he let the salty liquid run down his face. He was still unsure if he wanted to tell Mike his feelings for him. If Mike were accepting of who he was, would he be accepting of how he feels?
“There’s something else.” He blurted out. Mike’s hands rested on his back as Will took a deep breath. The two pulled away a bit to be able to look at each other. They remain close together in a friendly embrace. Will reminded himself that that’s what they are, friends. Just friends.
“Did you hear anything I said to Robin before you came in?” He decided this might be easier to start with. Afterall, he was really worried that Mike heard everything.
“Why did you tell Robin?” Their eyes met awkwardly.
“Wh-What?” Mike’s face held jealousy once again. “Why did you tell Robin before me?”
“I—”
“Cmon lovebirds, we gotta get going.” Both boys pulled away from each other, startled. They looked to see Lucas staring at them with crossed arms and an almost knowing look. The three of them walked out of the basement and headed upstairs to see the rest of the group gathered. Mike walked up to El, and a part of Will’s heart throbbed. He stared with hopeless eyes at the sight in front of him.
“They broke up, you know.” Will jumped at the sudden voice next to him. Max was sitting in her wheelchair with Lucas pushing her. “I’m not surprised.”
Why did people keep sneaking up on him when he’s having private moments?
“And you’re telling me this, why?” Will looked at Max with a confused gaze. She simply smiled at him. Am I really that obvious? He thought to himself.
“Did you overhear what I said to Mike?” Will whispered to Lucas, panicked. Max, being as close as she was, heard too. He didn’t want anyone to know, let alone this many people, especially in one day.
“I didn’t really. I guess I just had a feeling about it.” Lucas gave an apologetic glance, and Will’s eyes widened. “You kinda just confirmed our theory when you said that,” Max muttered a bit, but Will heard her. After a brief sigh, Will realized he needed to say something, anything. “I told Mike something…personal.” The two clearly had most of the pieces. But he wasn’t ready to put the entire puzzle together for them. Both of their eyes widened as Will told them. They didn’t expect him to just outright say it. Lucas and Max both felt proud of him. “I’m glad you told Mike.” Max smiled.
The truth is, Lucas wasn’t surprised to walk in on that kind of personal conversation. He was just surprised it wasn’t Mike’s. That, however, was something he wasn’t going to share just yet, though.
“I’m sorry.” Will felt hurt that he wasn’t ready to tell them.
The more people who know, the more likely someone is to find out. Someone dangerous. Will stared at the two with pleading eyes. “We won’t tell anyone, Will.” Her voice was raspy but sincere. “I trust you both. I promise to explain. Just not now.” Maybe not for a while. Lucas hugged Will, and Max chuckled a bit. “You’re gonna have to hug me, Byers.” A playful eye roll met Max before she was pulled into a hug.
“I really missed you, Max.” He whispered to her. They smiled at each other as the three stood in comfortable silence for a moment.
“You two were the only ones who were with me that summer while Mike was with El.” The three of them got extremely close that summer with all the time they spent together, whether it was watching movies, playing video games, or just hanging out.
“Hell, Max called me more than Mike did in Lenora.” The two of them laughed. Lucas realized Will didn’t know.
“Will, Mike called you almost every day.” Will’s eyes widened.
“What?” He was just confused at this point.
“The phone line was usually occupied because of Mrs. Byer’s telemarketing job. He complained about it so goddamn much.” Will was shocked. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Are you guys coming?” Mike looked annoyed, and the three of them laughed. Lucas kissed Max on the forehead before he and Will followed Mike out of the Squawk.
El turned away from Mike and headed over to Max to say goodbye. “Max.” El said as she sat down on the couch in front of her. “El.” Max smiled at her.
“You can do this.” Max said reassuringly. “Henry is going down.” El smiled back at her. The two held so much love for each other it was painful to say goodbye like this. Even though they would see each other again soon, it wouldn’t be the same. They would be fighting together, but they still feared leaving the other one alone. After all, the last time they were together in someone’s mind, Max died in her and Lucas’s arms. El wouldn’t let Max get hurt again. She would give anything to protect her. Even her own life. She couldn’t lose anymore of her friends. They needed to survive, they needed to be happy.
“I can’t do it without you but I do not want to see you hurt.” The last thing El wanted was to put Max in more danger. “I already almost lost you once. I do not think I could go through that again.” Max felt tears prick her eyes. The salty liquid stung as it hung in her waterline. The two shared a careful gaze, scared to look away.
“Promise me you’re coming back with me?” Max says clearly. She knew El cared more about others than herself. Max couldn’t lose El just like El couldn’t lose her. The two were connected in ways they couldn’t explain. Max had shown El how to be herself without any outside influence. El was comfortable with her identity thanks to Max, at least, for the most part.
“I promise.” She didn’t want to lie to Max, but she knew she had to. She knew her and Kali had to carry out their plan.
“El, don’t lie to me.” Max saw right through her.
“I will come back.” El said firmly. Max sniffled as the tears finally flowed from her eyes.
“You’re not allowed to leave me.” She cried out. El quickly pulled her into a hug. It hurt Max that she couldn’t wrap her arms around her and hug back. “You mean so much to me, El, so much to everyone.” Max had a feeling El somewhat blamed herself for Henry/Vecna’s terrorizing. The thing is, Max didn’t know what El planned to do. Not in the slightest. But she could read her like no one else could. She knew something was wrong. And if it meant the possibility of losing her best friend, she was going to say every last truth she held in her chest to ground her.
“You have to fight. Fight to come back to us. No matter what, don’t give up.” El wiped Max’s tears.
“I will fight.” El whispered to her. “I will fight Henry until he can’t hurt anyone else.” Max nodded softly.
“Good.” She let out a small laugh. “Now, go. I’ll see you soon.” The two released from the hug. El gave Max one last gaze before heading out the door. The two smiled at each other with so much pride, pride of knowing each other.
…
Heading into the back of the truck, Robin’s eyes on him caught Will’s attention. He subtly moved next to her, Mike glaring at them the whole time. But they didn’t notice. “How did it go?” She whispered. Based on his smile, she knew it went well. She pulled him into a side hug as the truck started to drive toward the MAC-Z.
If he could handle coming out to his many people, he could survive Vecna.
He just hoped Vecna was bluffing when he threatened to tell everyone his secret.