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The breeze was so nice today, Setsuna thought. Anything to dull the ache in her heart. The old conifer trees provided excellent platforms to lay down on so that’s exactly what she was using. The forest was very giving, after all.
…Steady…steady. From her lying position high above the forest floor she’d caught sight of a deer. A young one but with a lot of meat. Whatever people said about her normally, they never questioned her hunting prowess.
The wind was calm, just the right speed and temperature to hunt. Any faster and the forest creatures would get her scent. That deer looked ever so inviting. It would be a shame if it got away now.
Just a little closer…
“Hey Setsuna! You over here?” Well that was fate for you. The animals scattered, the deer with them.
“…” Setsuna sighed face first into the tree bark, her heart lurching. The one person she’d been trying to avoid. From her elevated position she could make out Hana entering the clearing, trashing everything in her path.
Being a Samurai (and a tomboy) still didn’t mean she had to hack away at the forest to get through. Setsuna had learned a long time ago that you had to blend in to be successful. The opposite of what Hana was currently doing. The head of lengthy chocolate hair span around, trying to catch a glimpse of her.
“I know you’re here!” She yelled, cupping her hands to her mouth. The birds left now, being scared away by the sudden loudness. “Lady Hinoka said you went hunting and everyone knows this is the best place for meat! Come out already!”
Setsuna sighed for a second time, brushing some stray hair out of her eye. She knew Hana was impatient but also very, very stubborn. She must’ve checked all the traps first to make sure she hadn’t got caught again or she wouldn’t have been so sure she was here.
Setsuna knew she could just wait on her branch, obscured by the leave on the tree and out camp her (having had lots of practice when caught in traps) but where was the fun in that?
She stifled a giggle. Actually…she could have some fun with her first.
Keeping one eye on the rapidly searching samurai, Setsuna lowered herself silently to the forest floor. The sunlight now filtered through, highlighting Hana’s desperate search through the logs and hideaways in the hope she’d be hidden there. As if.
Setsuna had a sneaking suspicion she knew why she wanted to talk to her so badly…and it was the same reason she’d been avoiding her. Still…she knew she couldn’t hide forever. It had been three days since she’d last spoken to her, after they’d passed that strategy test together. Three days since she’d realised the truth.
Slowly, the grassy plants hiding the sound of her footsteps, she crept up behind Hana (now bending over into a tree hollow).
“Hey Hana,” she drawled in her characteristically lazy voice, tapping her on the shoulder. “What’re you looking for?”
“G-gah!” The samurai fell forwards in surprise, ending up waist deep upside down in the hollow. “Setsuna you idiot! G-get me out of here!”
“Heehee! Okay, Hana.” Setsuna gently grabbed one the flailing legs, pulling it out. One of her sandals had come off but they were ill suited to the forest anyway. Once she was out, having smoothed down her uniform, Hana rounded on her.
“What was that for?! You scared me half to death!”
“…It was pretty funny though. You were shouting half the forest away and I managed to creep up behind you. Then you fell into a hole. That’s usually my thing.” Hana raised an eyebrow.
“W-well…” The corners of her lips slowly lifted into a grin. “That’s true enough. I can’t stay mad you, Setsuna. It was kinda funny.”
“Yaaayyy.”
“But!” She challenged, pointing a finger at Setsuna’s chest. “Don’t do that again! I can’t very well be serving Lady Sakura if you scare me to death, can I?”
“I guess not…” Hana picked up on Setsuna’s downcast expression immediately.
“Come on don’t be sad! It was a good prank, I admit it.” Her face turned pensive. “Just…you know…don’t keep avoiding me like you’ve been.”
“…I have?”
“Don’t play dumb, Setsuna!” The samurai exclaimed, eyes lighting up. “We both know you’ve been trying to get away from me ever since we passed the strategy test. I want to know why.” Setsuna cringed internally. She hadn’t expected her to just come out and say it like that. Then again, Hana was a very straightforward person so it really shouldn’t have been surprising.
“I…have the flu,” she lied. “I don’t want to give it to you.”
“Yeah I don’t believe that. You stay out whole nights in the forest sometimes and never catch it so you’re not starting now.”
“First time for everything,” she tried but Hana held up a hand, cutting her off.
“Setsuna, please. Did…did I do something wrong?” Her eyes were so wide and pleading it was genuinely stunning to Setsuna. Since when did Hana care so much about her? Since when did anyone? “Did I hurt you in some way? If I did I’m so, so sorry and I’ll make it up to you and…”
“Hana, that isn’t it. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“So why…”
“That’s just the problem. The opposite. I really liked hanging out with you. I could…I could pretend I had another friend. One who wasn’t Lady Hinoka.” She averted her eyes, unwilling to meet Hana’s own.
“…What?”
“I…” she struggled to find the words. “Hana, people don’t just ‘hang out’ with me for no reason. Either they want something like some meat I caught or to laugh at me because I’m stupid.”
“You’re not stupid! Who’s been saying that?” Her hand was grasping the hilt of her sword now, whether consciously or not. Setsuna allowed herself a rare, sad smile. That was the problem. Right there.
“Everyone mostly. They say I’m too stupid to know how stupid I am. That I don’t understand how anything works or I’m a burden on Lady Hinoka.”
“…Just tell me who they are and I’ll get them to stop.”
“…But you, Hana. You were really nice to me! I’d heard how blunt you could be to people and when I found out you were the only other person who failed strategy…well. I thought I’d be an easy target for you to say hateful things to. An idiot like me might as well hold up a target but…you didn’t. You were really kind and helped me through all the maps and stuff Lord Ryoma showed us.”
“Setsuna…” Hana’s hand fell limply away from the hilt.
“You didn’t call me names when I got something wrong or hit me for being dumb.”
“People have HIT you?! Why didn’t you say anything?!” Setsuna shrugged.
“I don’t think anyone would care. I don’t think anyone should care. They’re right. I’m…I’m pretty stupid.” Hana said nothing for a few seconds. Then, without warning, she lunged forward and caught the archer’s sleeve. “What are you…?”
“You told me these were from falls!” She growled, gesturing to the multitude of different colored bruises that were littered under the fabric.
“Some of them are.” Hana gently lowered the sleeve again.
“All of them, if any, should be. Even having one person in this army hurt you because you’re ‘stupid’ which, by the way, you’re not…is completely unacceptable! If you don’t think anyone cares then you should’ve told Lady Hinoka! She cares for you.”
“I…I know. She has enough to worry about. Better things to do than defend someone like me. Me making her life harder than it already
has to be.”
Setsuna locked eyes with Hana. Those eyes. Hana was actually taken aback. She’d always thought Setsuna to be such an easy-going, happy person but in that instant she knew it was a lie. All of it. The indifference, the silly grins, all of it. She didn’t think such a display of heartfelt sadness to be possible on anyone’s face, let alone hers. A pain…a tiredness. Those eyes… Eyes.
A sudden thought occurred to Hana. A horrible, horrible thought.
Oh gods. Please…no.
“Setsuna,” she said levelly. “I’m…I’m going to do something now. Something…personal.”
“…What?”
“I think,” she continued. “That you wear your hair like that for a reason.” The words made her flinch, confirming the samurai’s suspicions…in the worst possible way. Please don’t let it be true. “For an archer to have bangs like that…doesn’t make any sense. May I…?” She held out her hand tentatively. Suddenly the sunlight didn’t seem so enjoyable. Setsuna closed her visible eye, giving no other response.
Slowly, Hana moved her hand upwards towards the archer’s face. Before she knew what she was doing she was stroking her cheek. A gently, feathery gesture so different to the contact she was used to. Hana shook her head. She knew there was no point in delaying so she went straight to it; she lifted the bang obscuring Setsuna’s other eye.
She dropped it immediately in shock, before raising it again, this time more carefully. It was a mess. There was no resemblance to the likeness of a human eye. The lid had been swollen shut over time, clearly from repeated impacts. This wasn’t a onetime occurrence. The skin was blackened, purple in places all along the socket wall. There were even some patches of red, dark red, plastered across her upper cheek.
Hana dropped the hair again, mortified. She didn’t know what to say. Literally. Even if she did she wasn’t sure anything would come out. Sure she’d seen wounds on the battlefield but they were inflicted by enemies…not people in their own camp.
The woman in question reopened her good eye. She wore that same expression of a tired pain but still refused to give in and cry. Hana admired that about her, as sickening as the situation was. As dire as things were Setsuna refused to give in. Hana was starting to want to cry herself.
No! She told herself. The situation was serious!
“WHO THE HELL DID THAT?! WHO THE HELL DID THAT TO YOU BECAUSE THEY’RE DEAD! I’LL SHOW THEM A FEARSOME BLOW ALRIGHT! ONE THAT’LL BLOW THEIR SKULLS APART!”
“Hana calm down. Please…”
“NO!” Hana could feel the rage bubbling up inside of her, sticky and black like tar. Consuming her. It wasn’t just the forest life that was going to have to watch out now. “WHO DID THIS?! ANSWER ME!”
“…No one in Corrin’s personal group, don’t worry. No one you know.”
“T-THAT…” Her anger subsided slightly, bubbling below the surface. “That’s something I guess. But who…who did this to you? Your arm, your eye…who was it?”
“Just some recruits. Foot soldiers.”
“I said who, not what class!” She seethed. Setsuna shook her head.
“I don’t know. I never exactly asked for their names.” Upon hearing this Hana was silent. She crouched down on the spot, holding her head in her hands.
“Hana? Are you…are you?”
“NNGRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Setsuna didn’t even have time to react. In one fluid motion she’d unsheathed her katana, whirled around and cleaved through the nearest tree. She’d already replaced it before it fell, standing in silence and listening to the echo. This time she crouched down for real. When she stood, tears were running down her face. She wasn’t even trying to hide them.
“W-why, Setsuna. Why…”
“Why what?”
“Why everything?!” She yelled, scattering the birds once more. Setsuna regarded her with the same dead expression. “Why the hell did you never say anything?! DO YOU EVEN HAVE AN EYE UNDER THERE ANYMORE?!” She shook her head, the bang swaying slightly.
“I don’t know. I can’t see it.”
“This isn’t the time for games! Would you know them if you saw them again?”
“Probably.”
“Well that’s something.” The tears didn’t stop. If anything they flowed faster.
“Why…Why that and why this and why didn’t you at least tell me! I care about you! Why have you been avoiding me all this time when this has clearly been going on for much longer?!”
“I…I…” Setsuna clearly knew, Hana was scrutinising her expression so closely she could see the sweat dropping.
“If they’re blackmailing you to keep quiet then I’ll…”
“No!” She confessed quickly. “It…it isn’t that.”
“Then what…?”
“It’s because I care about you Hana!” There was a pause of about thirty seconds. During that time the silence of the forest became all the more apparent. Devoid of life, having been scared away during Hana’s outburst.
“…W-wha…?”
“You heard me. I’ll go now.” Setsuna made to leave but Hana grabbed at her again, pulling her back gently.
“N-no! Just…tell me what you mean?”
Setsuna cleared her throat unnecessarily. Hana could tell, even behind that mask of indifference that she was afraid. She hadn’t been when talking about the abuse or bruises but this…she was terrified. In that moment, Hana’s knew what she had to do, her heart going out to her.
She pulled her in closer so they were facing each other, barely a few centimetres between them. They could hear each other’s breaths now and the sensation seemed to calm Setsuna down.
“Setsuna please…let me help you.”
“I think it’s pretty simple. I’ve…grown to care about you, Hana. Over that time of us being together, training for that exam I came to think of you as someone I could trust. Someone who thought of me like a person, not a nuisance. But I knew that when we were finished that things would have to change. Even if you weren’t just using me to get a pass in the exam…”
“I wasn’t I swear!”
“I know…I know…that’s the problem, Hana. You’re a good person. Better than me. The only reason we could hang out is because we had to. People who saw us together knew it wasn’t by choice. The people who hate me would leave you alone. When those sessions ended, however, if we continued to hang out then people would get suspicious.”
“Of what?!”
“That we were friends.”
“B-but we were…and are…aren’t we? I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you.” Setsuna shook her head, sadness very apparent.
“We can’t, Hana.”
“What?! Why not?!”
“Because…if you’re friends with me then they’ll do the same to you as they did to me. They’ll come for you in the nights and hurt you if you’re close to me. That’s why I get caught in traps so often. I’m clumsy but not like that. To escape I’d have to run into the forest at nights so they’d never find me. In the dark and running…falling into a hole or net becomes easy.”
“So all this time…”
“Yeah. Sure it happens occasionally of my own stupidity but mostly because of them. I…” She closed her eye again. “I…I don’t want the same to happen to you. If you’re friends with me that’ll happen. They don’t dare attack Lady Hinoka because she’s royalty and Azama…well he’s Azama. Far too smart for people like that. That just leaves me. Stupid, klutzy Setsuna. An easy target.”
“But why do they hate you so much?” Hana pleaded, eyes locking onto Setsuna’s again. “There must be a reason!” Again she shook her head.
“Do bullies ever need a reason? I’m me and that’s good enough for them. I’ve been avoiding you for the last few days in the hope you’d forget about me and learn to not see me as a friend anymore. So you’d be safe.”
“So…you’ve been trying to protect me? Setsuna…this whole time…you’ve been avoiding me because you care about me?” A gentle nod.
“Setsuna…oh Setsuna…I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Hana. I know how you feel.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” She stepped back, making to go. “Now that you’ve heard all that I can be alone again. You can still be safe. You can be free of me.” To her genuine surprise, Hana grabbed her wrist pulling her back and closing the distance once more.
“I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant…” She paused, struggling how to phrase it. “…I’m just sorry you had to go through all that alone. Corrin often says the true strength of this army is the bonds we forge and I have to agree. Suffering is one thing. Suffering in silence is another entirely.”
“…So…?”
“So I’m saying that I don’t care. I don’t care what a tiny, tiny group of hateful people think about you. Everyone here thinks that…while you might have your head in the clouds sometimes, you’re just as dependable as anyone. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong and…” she tapped the hilt of her katana lightly. “…they’ll have to go through me if they do. I’m staying by your side whether you like it or not.”
After those last words had been spoken Setsuna’s mask all but shattered. There were tears from both eyes and sniffles she couldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried. Being careful not to stumble, she grasped Hana as tightly as she could and pulled her into a hug.
“T-thank you H-Hana.” “N-no one’s ever s-said anything like that t-to me before.”
“Shh, shh now, Setsuna,” the samurai whispered, rubbing the other girls back gently. “I’m sorry it hasn’t been said before and I shouldn’t have been the first…but I was and I stand by it. You’re an incredible person and I’d be happy to stand by you. As equals.”
“O-oh Hana! Y-you’re too g-good for me,” she hiccupped, pausing to blow her nose on her sleeve. She didn’t even care anymore. “Y-you’re so strong and skilled and beautiful and…and…” Setsuna cut herself off again in a fresh wave of tears. The gears began to turn in Hana’s mind. Did Setsuna just say what she thought she did?
“Setsuna,” she remarked, trying to keep her voice as level as possible. “D-did you just call me beautiful?” Setsuna nodded vigorously.
“Y-yeah. Before we knew each other properly, back when I first saw you at Lady Sakura’s side. The way you carry yourself. Your beautiful long hair. Even your eyes…so, so beautiful.” Although they weren’t facing each other head on, Hana thought she could see Setsuna faintly blushing. The thought of that made her blush as well.
“Yeah w-well you’re pretty cute too! You’ve got beautiful eyes…er…eye. Oh gods I’m messing it up!” Setsuna released her, instead looking directly into her eyes. They weren’t crying anymore and…she was smiling.
“No. You’re not messing anything up but...I’m nothing special.”
“Yes you are! Hana said seriously. “If I was in your position I don’t know how long I’d have lasted. You pulled through. If I’m beautiful then you’re not just cute you’re…radiant.” She paused, running her fingers through Setsuna's shorter hair. Teal was such a good color on her.
“You’re amazing. Trust me.” They didn’t remember which one of them initiated it but both were happy to indulge. The kiss was electric, sending feelings which just felt…right into both parties.
Her lips…they’re so soft.
Her lips…so supple!
Of course both parties had to break apart for air soon enough but the deed was done. Hana, frowned, looking away.
“Sorry. I…I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. You’re vulnerable and I shouldn’t have fulfilled my selfish desire on y…” Setsuna pressed her lips gently up to Hana’s own, silencing her. When they broke apart again, the former was smiling.
“It’s fine, Hana. To be honest I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about doing that for some time now?” Now she was blushing for real. Hana too.
“R-really?”
“Of course,” the archer continued. “You’re beautiful, didn’t I mention that? I thought I did but…”
“N-no you did! You flatter me, Setsuna, you really do. And for what it’s worth…,” she drew them closer again. “…so do I. In more ways than one. From now one I’m going to be here for you. You don’t have to suffer alone. Or at all. I’m stopping all that today. Setsuna glanced upwards.
“Well…you don’t have much of the day left to do that. Tomorrow.”
“W-wha…?” Hana looked up, seeing they’d been talking for so long that the sun had started to set. The sky was darkening but leaving in its place the most beautiful of sunsets. Burnt oranges and reds were painted across the horizon, yellows and umbers at the fringes.
“Setsuna…it’s beautiful!”
“Do you want to see it up close?”
“What do you…?” The archer had already grabbed her hand, leading her back towards the tree she’d been perched on. It seemed like a lifetime away.
And that’s how Hana and Setsuna found themselves high above the forest floor, fingers interlaced, and watching a sunset they would never forget. Their legs were both dangling down over the edge of the branch but the ground could’ve been a million miles away and they wouldn’t have noticed. They had all they needed…right there.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…Hey Hana?”
“Yes Setsuna?”
“…How’re you going to catch the people who hurt me?” Hana squeezed her hand gently in response.
“I’m going to wait for them.”
“But…they come at night. Will you wait the whole day with me?”
“With you…I’d wait a whole lot longer.” Setsuna closed her eye slowly, savoring the moment.
“And…what about after?”
“After what?”
“After you’re done. Will you wait with me any longer? In the night?”
“Y-you mean would I sleep with you. Wait I didn’t mean it like…!” Setsuna giggled at the furiously blushing samurai, holding a finger to her lips.
“Shhh. I know what you meant. But my tent…it’s pretty small and…I don’t have another bed. When I meant stay longer I meant…”
“I know…and I would. I’d sleep next to you if you’d like that.”
“Like it? I’d love it.”
“…Me too, Setsuna. Me too.”
“…”
“…”
“…Hana?”
“…”
“Thanks.” Hana raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“For what?”
“For…” Setsuna planted a gentle kiss on the other girl’s lips. “For…being there for me.” Hana returned the gesture, no less gently. The sunset would be over soon but she’d found a source of beauty that was far greater already. One that would never fade.
“My pleasure.”