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saja boys fell off so i blocked huntr/x

Summary:

ROCK LOBSTER (stream Soda Pop out now!) @1nt3rruptus
Saja Boys fell off after Soda Pop so i blocked huntr/x

sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h
[definitelycoordinatestothepacificocean]

ROCK LOBSTER (stream Soda Pop out now!) @1nt3rruptus
WHAT THE FUCK???
------
STREAM GOLDEN OUT NOW @shrimperor
callout post regarding @_synanceia_h (sticks and stonefish), written with @spanishdancer 1/73
---
or: i couldnt come up with placeholder names. your average socmed AU but all the (noncanon) accounts are fish!

Notes:

forgive me if any of my fish information is wrong!! i'm going on a lot of wikipedia and frantic googling! and be nice to stonefish please. but not too nice they are really venomous like actually. and do not hate ANY fish for their actions in this fic, they're innocent!!!

Chapter 1: first of all i didn't poison anybody it was venom

Summary:

in which:
-zoey terrorizes the people with the world's most horrific hawaiian shirt, chili's, bad dry cleaning practices, and the good old fashioned american art of misinformation
and
-a stonefish gets canceled by the local ecosystem on twitter dot com.

Notes:

local guy gets really into this movie and knows nothing about stantwt. what happens next confuses and astounds! (seriously i'm lost. if anyone was/is in the stantwt trenches hear my plea lol)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

ROCK LOBSTER (stream Soda Pop out now!) @1nt3rruptus

Saja Boys fell off after Soda Pop so i blocked huntr/x
a mockup of a huntr/x twitter account, blocked.

sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h

[definitelycoordinatestothepacificocean]

ROCK LOBSTER (stream Soda Pop out now!) @1nt3rruptus

WHAT THE FUCK???

sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h

speak on huntr/x it'll cost you

---

STREAM GOLDEN OUT NOW @shrimperor

callout post regarding @/_synanceia_h (sticks and stonefish), written with branch @spanishdancer. they've been bullying people in this community (and the Pride!) for far too long, and this isn't the kind of hateful behavior we or huntr/x would stand for. 1/73

anchovial @notquitehetero

1/73 is crazy. actual villain behavior

replying to @shrimperor
sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h

you cannot be serious.

monica #SodaPop #JoinThePride @incidental115
golden in the user too... leave it to a floptrix stan to misinterpret something this bad

replying to @incidental115
sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h

while we're here let's talk about how YOUR flop of a band got one hit right after the golden announcement (huntr/x shade) and then never made a public appearance or dropped anything else. industry plant much?

replying to @_synanceia_h
monica #SodaPop #JoinThePride @incidental115

do you think this helps your case 😭😭

jellyspotter A @incidental130

getting bullying allegations and immediately following it up with more bullying is crazyyyy 😭😭😭😭

---

sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h
replying to @/shrimperor and @/spanishdancer. i really didn't want to do this, but for the sake of full transparency, i will. just because my friends and followers deserve to hear all this from me. starting from 2/73: first of all i didn't "poison" anybody, it was VENOM. secondly i

NOT @SOCKEYESAM @charredalpine

FIRST OF ALL I DIDNT POISON ANYBODY IT WAS VENOM 😭😭😭

saja boys shady facts #jointhepride @croakerqueen

this stantwt shit gets serious 😭😭 im out!

replying to @croakerqueen
sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h

as expected of a saja boys stan. disappear when things get tough 😒😒

saja boys shady facts #jointhepride @croakerqueen

i fear we have bigger fish to fry than what band i like! such as, you know, your poisoning allegations WHICH YOU ADMITTED TO and the fish remains and evidence of carnivore behavior found in your LA home

sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @_synanceia_h

it was VENOM first of all, and if you went any further in the thread you would know that those allegations were debunked. but i guess it's too much to ask a saja boys fan to read <3

 

sam!! #babystery @SOCKEYESAM

debunked... right right

sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @)_synanceia_h

demolishing these shrimp chips right now. thank you zoey HUNTR/X for putting me on

sticks and stonefish #GOLDEN @)_synanceia_h
this was taken completely out of context, and is also incredibly hypocritical when you yourself also have evidence of this same behavior.

sam!! #babystery @SOCKEYESAM

this squid jerky oomf got me is so good... i'm fucking up this bag so bad

---

jinu akgae @incidentalG17

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN SEVERAL SAJA BOYS AND HUNTR/X FANS GOT EXPOSED FOR CARNIVOROUS BEHAVIOR ON MAIN!!!!!
🗩 263 🔁432 ❤️3.9K


HUNTRIX DON'T MISS 🗣🗣🗣

zoey 🐢
rumi
rumiiiii
RUMI!!!!!
RUMI WAKE UP THEY'RE CANCELLING YOU ON TWITTER DOT COM!


rumi 🦌
?!?!
What?! What did I even do!?

mira 🦊
one of these days we're going to get in trouble for real and we'll never know
bobby will tell us and we'll just have to say 'oh, yeah, we thought zoey was baiting us again, sorry for ignoring it for like 3 weeks' or whatever
this future PR fallout will be on you zo

zoey 🐢
can you really blame a starving girl for having to resort to such drastic measures?? i say unto thee nay


rumi 🦌
Zoey :(
Are you baiting me again?

zoey 🐢
okay well listen in my defense: you weren't picking up and i need you to come out with me
taking the wife (thats you rumi) to chilis tonight. you better not have touched my hawaiian shirt (MIRA)


mira 🦊
what

rumi 🦌
??
What?
What is that
Where are you taking me?

zoey 🐢
do not even worry about it babygirl


rumi 🦌
That's not at all reassuring

zoey 🐢
ugughghghu do you guys seriously not know what i mean??
you're all so behind!!!! how do you live like this!!!



mira 🦊
we don't have internet

zoey 🐢
how do you know that but not the chilis thing...you're getting a powerpoint tonight >:(
and snacks. snacks first
come out with me.. oooo you wanna come out with me… you wanna come out with me…


rumi 🦌
I would've considered it if you didn't make me think we were in trouble >:(
Regardless of that though, we need to focus! No time for snacks! The Saja Boys are still out there somewhere. We need to focus on hitting back

mira 🦊
i'll come
i need a break from rumi's "hit back" talk
i will be touching your hawaiian shirt

zoey 🐢
GOOD ENOUGH!!! and maybe maybe we'll find something to do with those stupid absolutely not hot demon boys while we're out coughcough RUMI!!
HANDS OFF THE SHIRT MIRA. THAT'S DRY CLEAN ONLY


mira 🦊
or we don't find anything and they just died again or something. best case scenario
they couldn't hack it. gave up after they realized they can't capitalize on soda pop forever
assigned flop at gwi-ma. stuck back in the demon realm for eternity
and no it's not. it's 100% cotton. why would you dry clean that. don't tell me you're dry cleaning that

zoey 🐢
assigned flop at gwi-ma 😭😭😭
i might be dry cleaning it
seriously though cmon!!! cmon rumi cmonnn i know you're still reading these
there's always time for snacks...it's what you always say...don't let these losers ruin snack night...


mira 🦊
zoey. please. tell me you aren't

rumi 🦌
Alright, fine!! I'll come with you
Just.. don't wear the shirt. Or dry clean the shirt, it'll shrink :(

zoey 🐢
you guys are such haters. what's wrong with my shirt. huh? what's wrong with the shirt.
sorry you guys can't fathom this drip. sorry you guys aren't on what i'm on. i'm ahead of the curve when it comes to bringing american fashion to seoul. i'm a pioneer
i've got a whole account dedicated to posting what shirt i'm wearing. can you say the same?


mira 🦊
in this situation i don't want to be able to say the same but know that i can.
the shirt. zoey.

rumi 🦌
I'm not quite sure Americans actually wear such.. loud clothes
And you know we can say that? I don't know what point you're trying to make
Please don't wear the shirt. It draws too much attention :(

zoey 🐢
oh we absolutely do wear such "loud clothes"
all the time. this is authentic american style!! homegrown!!! like this is church clothes where i'm from. out in burbank yep yep. we wear this all the time
it's my finest. black tie event we'd wear shirts like this. yep.
all this to say i'm wearing it out
and i do dry clean it

rumi 🦌
Whatever you say I guess?
Be out of your room in ~15 minutes
In a normal shirt!! Please!

mira 🦊
i'm gonna lose my fucking mind
it's going to shrink. zoey.
zoey don't dry clean cotton. i can just see you taking it with us so you can do it in front of me
it's going to shrink.
zoey.
ZOEY I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THIS.
STOP COVERING YOUR EARS AND GOING LALALALALALA.


ZOEY'S SHIRT CATALOG 🐢🐢 @oliveriddler

ignoring everything else that's gone on today, !! NEW SHIRT SIGHTING !! i. dont know what to say about this one. it's a shirt that exists and is worn on the body!! i think !
a really fucking crazy ass patterned hawaiian shirt

the coolest maknae @officialzoeyHTRX☑️

what exactly is wrong with my shirt here twitter user @oliveriddler aka ZOEY'S SHIRT CATALOG.

ZOEY'S SHIRT CATALOG @oliveriddler

nnothing. nothing. it's gorgeous. it looks awesome on you i bet.

the coolest maknae @officialzoeyHTRX☑️

that's right. good answer. thank you.
🗩 230 🔁1.6K ❤️20.4K

replying to @oliveriddler
mira mira on the wall @realmiraHUNTRIX☑️

if she wears this shirt more than once this week i'm filing a takedown request on this entire account.

replying to @realmiraHUNTRIX
Rumi :) @ryurumiHUNTRIX☑️

^

Notes:

fishlist

-@1nt3rruptus is panulirus interruptus or the california spiny lobster
-@_synanceia_h is synanceia horrida or the horrid/hollow-cheek/estuarine/rough/true stonefish
-@shrimperor is znopontonia rex or the imperial/emperor shrimp and, also, i'm pretty sure it's stonefish prey which is why theyre callout post guy
-@spanishdancer is hexabranchus sanguineus or the spanish dancer nudibranch! not to be confused with the movie or sea cucumber! emperor shrimp like to live on them so theyre friends in this fish smau :)
-@charredalpine is salvelinus alpinus or the arctic char. they're labeled "NOT SOCKEYE SAM" because they're similar looking enough i can see someone getting it confused. and it's funny
-@croakerqueen is micropogonias undulatus or the atlantic croaker! and it's user is in fact an IKWYDLS reference
-every single anchovy mentioned over this whole fic is (to me) encrasicholina heteroloba or the shorthead anchovy. i'm going to be using them spongebob style in that whenever i'm out of ideas theres just. anchovy. all the @incidental[number] are references to this!
-@sockeyesam is a sockeye salmon! oncorhynchus nerka :)
-@oliveriddler is the olive ridley sea turtle (pacific ridley sea turtle) or the lepidochelys olivacea. yeah i made a sea turtle run zoey's shirt account. on purpose.

authors notes!

-have you guys seen the anne hathaway human remains and evidence of cannibalism in her LA home thing. who am i kidding you have
-this is the hawaiian shirt as seen. in case you wanted to own this for some reason. not sponsored!
-while i'm here i think zoey loves shirtsthatgohard and wearing those oddly specific shirts that have nothing to do with her. i also think she's very fashionable but when she's just running errands yeah bro. put on the DONT TALK TO ME WHILE IM GRILLING shirt. she contains multitudes
-the unoffishial (haha) meta for this is that nobody knows they're fish. and nobody questions it either. rumi tries to go "uh. guys? isn't it kind of weird that a lot of our fans have fish related names?? and that all their locations are based in the ocean??" and she gets shut down immediately by zomira going naahh nah they're just eccentric!! it's twitter rumi don't think too hard :). bobby is entirely on her side and is trying to uncover the fishspiracy as we speak. it's plaguing him.
-the real meta for this is that i really just couldnt think of very many stantwt style names. i kind of don't go here, sorry!!
-the huntr/x pfp is from the buttons on the netflix shop, and their header is from the football jersey also on the netflix shop! and an hour in paint.net. ugh. idc if its the new logo and it makes no sense in canon i don't feel like spending more time on it for this one bit
-i'm a rumi autocaps truther. not sorry